“Everyone's dad” Tom Barnes passed away suddenly from heart issues early January 2026. Born in California, he met his wife Carol after college while working at a summer camp in Lake Arrowhead. Tom taught English, Math, and Computers for over a decade before following his sister to Indiana in 2006, leaving behind where he grew up to chase bigger opportunities for his two daughters. He worked diligently in a tech start-up and raised his eldest with the same fascination of programming. He was known for answering his phone, “Hi! This is Tom, how can I help?”
Tom lived a life of kindness, curiosity, laughter, and unconditional love. He loved classic dad rock and comics, raising his girls on Calvin & Hobbes, and was a real life “Bandit” (the dad from Bluey). His encouragement and enthusiasm was limitless, and he was a loving, silly dad to his daughters’ friend groups too, always happy to host a big game night for them, man the grill, and be a safe space for all. Countless long chats with him started with a rant and ended in a smile.
His favorite things were going out for breakfast, playing video games, and walking the dog around the farmer's market. In his retirement, he had a blast dressing up as a wizard at the Renaissance faire, and learned some Japanese to take a big trip to Japan with his wife and youngest daughter. He loved the cherry blossoms, shiba inu cafe, and all of the food, filling a hat with pins along the way. He was an unashamed nerd through and through, and his girls will carry that legacy.
Tom always treasured time with everyone in his family. His absence will be felt by all, especially his wife Carol, his daughters Jess and Alyssa, his mother, sister, brother, and many nieces and nephews. He often reminded us, “No one knows for sure what comes next, so be kind to each other and enjoy every day! :)” and proudly lived by it his whole life.
In lieu of flowers, please make a donation in support of the preservation of monarch butterflies in Goleta California at https://ellwoodfriends.org/
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