Tomi Lilia "Fugi or Tomichan" Alexander

1933 - 2025

Tomi Lilia Alexander (Fugi, Tomichan) passed away on Feb. 20, 2025, at the age of 91. A longtime resident of Twentynine Palms, she set out decidedly and happily to spend eternity with her dearly loved husband. Tomi passed away peacefully at home from natural causes. A beloved mother and grandmother who touched the lives of all who knew her. Tomi's irresistible laughter, unwavering kindness and generosity of spirit will live in our hearts forever.
Tomi (née Higa) was born on Aug. 15, 1933, in Aza Sobe, Yomitan Son, Okinawa, Japan. She was the first born daughter of Shutoku and Mitsuko Higa.
Tomi spent her childhood in the sugarcane fields with her father, and making and selling tofu with her mother. All things changed for them on March 26, 1945. The Battle of Okinawa began. Tomi was 11 years old. It is remarkable she and her family survived. Initially hiding in caves during the first week of the battle, she and her family were collected as refugees and protected by the U.S. forces until they were able to return to what was left of their village. After WWII, with only a seventh-grade education, Tomi worked odd jobs to help support the family. From 1950 to 1958, Tomi worked as a live-in housemaid for military officers and their families stationed at Kadena Air Base.
In 1960, while employed at a local restaurant, Tomi met the love of her life, James F. Alexander, a young corporal in the U.S. Marine Corps. They were married in Okinawa on April 3, 1961.
Tomi gave birth to two children in Okinawa, James in 1962 and Sandra in 1964. In 1965, the growing family was stationed stateside. In Albany, Georgia, Patrick was born.
In 1968, the Marine Corps sent the family to Pearl City, Hawaii. Tomi became a citizen of the United States when she completed her Certification of Naturalization on June 23, 1971. This was also the moment when Tomi adopted the middle name Lilia. She was fond of the large, many colored, fragrant flowers which are so abundant on Hawaii. During this time, she also became a member of the Eastern Star.
In August 1971, the family moved to Twentynine Palms. Tomi loved it here from the very beginning. The family never moved again.
While her husband was deployed in Vietnam, Tomi was everything to her children. She made sure her children were well mannered, respectful and did well in school. She attended their after school activities and sporting events. She took English as a Second Language courses at Palms Southern Baptist Church.
James retired from the USMC in 1978. The children grew up and moved away by 1983. Tomi and James lived happily as empty nesters. Friday afternoons at the Alexanders' was the place to be. Guests were greeted with libations and Tomi's wantons, sushi, fried rice, yakisoba and stirfrys.
James passed away in 1994. Tomi never remarried. She lived in the same house for 53 years.
Tomi's greatest joy came through cooking. Hers was legendary. Gatherings over a home-cooked meal with loved ones and friends were anticipated by all alike. Owls were Tomi's spirit animal, followed closely by hummingbirds. Watching hummingbirds feed in the morning while she sipped her coffee was a daily amusement.
Tomi is survived by her son James F. Alexander Jr. of Twentynine Palms; daughter Sandra G. Putnam and her husband, Tony, of Yucca Valley; and son Patrick T. Alexander of Twentynine Palms, grandchildren Cassandra Alexanderm of Earleville, Maryland, Jessica Alexander of Boyce, Virginia, Trevor Reep of Laporte, Colorado and Dillon Reep of Twentynine Palms; and sisters Katsuko Matsuda and Masako Ashimine of Okinawa, Japan.
Tomi was preceded in death by her husband, Captain James F. Alexander Sr. (USMC, retired), and her parents, Shutoku and Mitsuko Higa (Ikehara).
Tomi did not wish to have a formal service conducted on her behalf. Our family will have a celebration of life at 2 p.m. Saturday, March 22, 2025, at the family residence. All those who knew Tomi are welcome to attend.
Thank you to all who visited and brought Tomi food these past two months. The family also wishes to thank Dr. Castellon and her staff at Eisenhower Heath. A special thank you to Shane, Hilda and the staff at Meridian Hospice.
Expressions of sympathy may be made in whichever way(s) you wish.
All is well. Sayonara Fugi.