Mrs. Yi Liu He

In Memoriam of Our Dearly Departed: Yi Liu 11/5/1964 - 4/1/2013 She is survived by her husband and two daughters. Below are eulogies written by her adoring family: 深切怀念我的爱妻刘義女士 �常感谢��亲朋好�, 弟兄�妹和�事们的光临. 我们今天在这里�是�悲伤, 乃是�庆�我的太太刘義女士的一生. 因为她的一生是精彩的一生, �烂的一生. 我首先�给大家分享的是刘義是一�独一无二的好妻�, 上�特�为我预备的soul mate. 我和刘義相识于1979年. 我们在湖���峰县第一中学读书. 我出生在一个�远的�镇, 刘義生长在县城里. 有一�美丽的�河从城中�过. 刘義就象那��河, 清辙�亮, 天生丽质. �的时候就多�多艺, 能歌善舞, �过专门的舞蹈训练. 她是一中的校花. 很多�学暗中喜欢她. 我也是其中的一�. 1981年我去了中国科技大学读书. 她在1982年也考上了衡阳医学院. 在81年我开始给她写信. 最�在我给她的信里, 我从�没有明明白白的告诉她我对她的爱慕. 但字里行间��露出我的心迹. 开始我�知�她会�会回信, 因为我没有自信能赢得她的芳心. 她也是衡医的校花. 追求她的人很多. 有衡医的�学, 也有一中毕业�考入全国�地的�学. 刘義是一�太优秀的女孩, 而在众多追求者中我��是出色的一�. 我焦急地等待她的回信. 一星期�当我接到她的回信的时候, 我欣喜若狂. 她的回信也是让我猜迷. 但她给了我勇气去追求她. 从此我们开始了长达八年之久的两地书�. 其间�历了许多误解和考验. 大学期间我还和�一�中学女�学��通信. 这让刘義�常生气. 她对我说她�看�金钱地��利, 选择我乃是因为她在我身上看到了一份纯朴和诚�, 她以为�以托付一生. 结果�让她�常失望, 她�现她�是我的唯一. 我给她解释我没有追求那�女�学的心,�是被她一手漂亮的毛笔书法所�引和她���普通的书信. 然而刘義�是一��想主义者, 心中容�下�点瑕疵. 在1986年我去湘潭看望她的时候, 她毅然决然和我断�关系. 我以为我从此永远失去了我的��, 从此永远失去了我心目中完美的女孩.1987我们失�了一年, 痛苦了一年. 那年冬天我从北京回到一中去探望我的�师. 从他那里得知和我分开�, 虽然有很多人追她, 她似乎还在等. 于是我决定去长沙找她. 那时她已�分�到一所医院工作. 记得那天下�很大的雨. 我一身湿�出现在她的��, 对她说让我们��一架, 上次在湘潭没有�完, 这次�得彻底一点, �得永远�没有牵掛. 她对我的出现没有太多惊呀, �明显�露出欣喜. 她对我说: " 你有牵掛我�? �喜欢和你�架啊!" 她借�了�事的衣�给我�上, 我们彼此互诉�念, 终于和好如�.1988年12月5日我和刘義结婚了. 没有一个体�的婚礼, �是请了几个�事朋���喜糖. 就这样她�结了我这�农��的穷��. 当时我们的家庭�以说是一贫如洗, �有彼此的爱. 我还在中科院物�研究所读书, 工资�过�美元. 她的工资大约也是�美元. �我的太太是一�浪漫主义者, 一如�瑶�说里的女主角. 她�看�钱财, �愿和我守�一份清贫, 一份彼此掛念. 她追求的是一份彼此的真爱, 彼此的唯一. 婚�的头几年里她��了许多苦楚. 但我的太太是一��韧�拔的女性. 用她自己的长沙��说她是一个扳得蛮的女人.89年的时候, 两��亲都病得很�. 她是一��顺的女儿, 从�乖巧�利. 她腹中正怀�我们的大女儿�儿.当时我远在北京读研究生. 学潮正如�如涂. 她时刻为我担忧. 她说她�愿看到孩�出生就没有父亲. 我在6.4的�几天回到了她的身边, 陪她生产. 当时的�件�分艰苦, 两��亲都病得很�. 身怀六甲, 她�天��上�, 没有休过任何产�, 直到生产的那一天. 到医院生产的时候, 没有床�, 必需和�一��亲共用一张床. 长沙的�天天气�常炎热, �以想�她是何等难�. 我的刘義就是这样一�刚毅的�亲, 一如她父�最�给她�的�字刘毅, 刚毅的毅. 她能�常人之所�能�. 她�想让孩��到任何副作用的影�, 她决定�用麻�, 用她全部的勇气�迎接生产的痛苦. �儿的出生给她带�了�为人�的喜悦. 我们一直就这样清贫地相守�. 她常给我说她喜欢简爱里的一���: "人活�就是为了�莘茹苦", 艰苦�帕, ��有爱, 她就幸��. . 当我�亲去世的时候, 我心中�常地悲痛. 在下葬的那一天, 我和我的哥哥说今天晚上我们在�亲的�边陪她最�一个晚上. 望�漆黑的夜空, 我开始�考, 人生的结局就是这样归入黄土�? 果真如此, 生命�有什么�义. 人生需�在一个更高的层次上继续. 我和我的太太一起开始人生的探索. 神的�典真是奇妙: �门就给他开门. 我的学院里正好有一�爱主的教授, 她让我们认识了基�.91年的时候, 正好有一�爱主的美国�妹Mrs. Judy Gabelman�学院教授暑期英语. 从她们的身上我看到了神的爱, 这正是我们所追求的.95年我�到美国德州读书, 我们�历了短暂的分离. 刘義带��儿在95年圣诞节�到美国. 我们在Judy的家里度过了一个美好的圣诞节.96年的�活节, 我们在Lubbock的中国教会一��洗接�耶稣基��为我们个人的救主. 在我读书的期间, 全家就�我微溥的奖学金过日�. 我的太太决定去打工. 她在别人家里�过�姆, 在中�馆里打工, 任劳任怨. 三年�我在Dallas找到了我的第一份工作. 我们全家�到了那里, 并在那里生活了5年. 这期间, 我们有了第一辆新车, 买了第一栋房�, 也有了我们第二个孩�真儿. 真儿出生乃是神的�典. 刘義在怀她六个月的时候, �生了一次车祸. 当时刘義腹部剧烈疼痛, 好动的真儿在刘義的腹中没有了一点动�, 刘義的裙�上和地上满是羊水. 我的太太�常焦急. 我们祷告,感谢主, 在医院里�过一段时间休�, 胎儿��了活动. 当她出生的时候, 我就给她��真�, 因为这是神真实的�典. 正好和英文�字Jane�音. 但我太太把她�嫣儿, 因为在出生的时候, 医生把她抱给刘義看, 真儿粉红的�脸, 对妈妈笑�, 露出一对�爱的�酒涡,就�一朵�紫嫣红的花儿一样绽放. 真儿的出生给刘義带�了很多喜�. 象生我们的大女儿一样, 全都是刘義自己一人�劳, 没有任何家人�以帮忙.2002年�济开始衰退, 我的公�倒闭, 我�得�离开Dallas, �到San Diego. 刘義独自一人带�两个孩�留守在德州. 这一次分离�历了一年多. 我一直�能决定��加州. 这一年里刘義�仅���亲, 也��父亲. 她是一�勤劳能干的妻�. 家里的篱笆破旧, 她找人��新的. 屋顶被冰雹打�, 她找�险公���陪, 找修�公��修�. 她就是这样默默奉献自己, 相夫教�.2003年我终于决定全家�到San Diego. 她�一人��所有�家的�事. 房��掉, 家具该�的�掉, 剩下的一件件打包. 她带�孩�们走下飞机的时候一脸的疲惫.2004年我们买下了现在的房�, 在San Diego安顿下�. 刘義是一�默默奉献的好妻�. 她常给我说, 我们�白头��, 拉�彼此的手一起慢慢��. 正当我们全家蒸蒸日上的时候, 4/1/2013的一次车祸夺走了她正当盛开的生命. 但神有他美好的旨�.刘義现在正在一个最美好的地方. 那里没有任何瑕疵, 正如她一生追求的那样. 人生有很多�憾. 当我拥有她的时候, 没有�视她的价值. 如果能�新�过, 我一定�更好的爱护她, �护她就��护自己的瞳�. 唯一��憾的是今生有你二�五年. 这二�五年是艰苦奋斗, 建家立业的二�五年; 是�甘共苦, 养育儿女的二�五年; 更是相濡以沫, 心心相�的二�五年. 我其次�给大家分享的是刘義乃是一�善良的白衣天使, 饱��情心的医生. 在长沙行医八年, 救治病人无数. 她是一��常认真负责的人, 考虑事情细致入微. 记得有一次病人家属抬�一�垂�病患. �是病人家境清寒, 无法支付医疗费用. 医院拒�收治. 刘義�到这�痛苦中的病患, 心中就动了慈心. 她决��收治这�病人. 她对医院说我们�能�死�救,医疗费用�以从她的工资里扣去. 院方也被她感动,��收治. 在她的细心治疗下, 病人最终康�. 刘義�仅医治病人身体上疾病, 还总是努力去�为病人的朋�. 她收治过一�肠癌晚期的病人. 病人�到二��. 虽然病人最终未能存活, 但刘義在他生命的最�几个月里�了他精神上的守护. 常常鼓励他, 在他�望的时候安慰他. 就�一�知心的��一样. 他们�了很好的朋�. 刘義是一�好撒玛利亚人, 正如她现在的�字刘義一样, 羔羊救我称義. 她是一�体贴入微的人, 总是���考; 她是一�最�自�的人, �愿自己��, 也�愿别人��, 总是把自己放在最�; 她本性开朗�观, 热情似�, 到哪里就把笑声带到哪里; 她是一�爱情至上的浪漫主义者; 她是一��想主义者, 一生追求完美; 她是一��韧�拔的女士; 她是一�善良的白衣天使, 好撒玛利亚人; 她是一�乖巧�利, �顺的好女儿; 她是一�温柔贤慧, 默默奉献的好妻�; 她是一��苦�劳, 慈祥勇敢的好�亲. 从刚毅的刘毅到羔羊救我称義的刘義, 她具有太多的优秀�格和美德. 她永远活在我和儿女们的心中. 贺楚光 4/5/2013 Thank you all so much for coming here to join me in celebrating the precious life of my lovely mother, LiuYi (Lisa). A life that was cut, tragically, far too short. I miss her terribly. I decided to write her a letter, to reminisce on some of the sweet memories that we shared together, in my brief 23 years. I'd like to share it with all of you: Dearest Mommy, it has only been a few days since you've left these earthly confines. But already, I feel as if I've aged eons. At the same time, I feel as helpless as a newborn babe. It hurts, so much, without you. It is so hard, to do anything – to eat, to sleep, to breathe, without you. The world is so muted- blurry, incomprehensible. I feel, uncharacteristically, unfocused. Unclear. You were my lighthouse. Oh Mommy, do you remember when we were still in China, right before we left for America, one of your close friends (and you had so many close friends) – he said to the two of us – where shall we go for dinner? It'll be my treat. We can either go to this fine, renowned Chinese restaurant in Beijing or we can go to McDonalds! And mind you, Mickey D had pretty much just entered China at that point, and was actually incredibly high-end and ill-affordable for most people. Of course, as a five year old child, I immediately yelled MAI –DAN –LAO!!!!!! (Or in English, McDonalds!!!) I was giddy, ecstatic. My mouth was watering for the infamous "han-bao-bao" (hamburger with cheese). I was probably drooling. Oh Mommy. I remember this so clearly. I'm sure you were less than pleased to spend your last meal in your home country at a McDonalds. But you took one look at my shining face and my twinkling hamburger eyes and you happily consented to going to McDonalds, casting no second glance at the finery that could've awaited you. That's the kind of person you always were –always putting other people before yourself- always considering others' happiness, before your own. Mommy, I remember, after we arrived in the states, with our two suitcases and maybe $100, you were so overjoyed to be reunited with Daddy. He was the love of your life. You always used to say to me – "You have to find a man as righteous as your father. You have to find a man who cares for you as much as your father cares for me." I remember in those early days, us walking together to my elementary school together, hand in hand, in the winter, in the bitter cold, before we could afford a car. You always kept me warm. I remember when I would complain that my feet were cold at night, you would prop my cold little toes on your belly to warm them up. Mommy, do you remember that one time, after school, when we were walking home, we came across these trees that bore strange nuts? We thought it was some newfangled American nut that we had never eaten before, and got so excited. So we spent a couple hours collecting the nuts from the ground, like industrious little squirrels. We came home, beaming, and showed Daddy our loot. He took one look at the nuts and laughed and said, "Oh silly girls- you can't eat those! They're totally inedible." We felt so sheepish. But the process of harvesting those little nuts had been so fun, it didn't even matter. Oh Mom. It was so fun being with you. Most people wouldn't know it, just from outer appearances, from your grace and beauty, but you were such a silly, goofy, fun mom. I attribute all my quirkiness to you. Mommy, even in reminiscing about the smallest things, your kindness and love astounds me. If I am ever a mother, I can only hope to be half as awesome as you were. I remember in those first couple years in the States, we were so poor, and you worked so very hard to supplement Daddy's graduate student stipend. You waitressed. You cooked. You cleaned houses. Although you were a respected and illustrious physician in China, you toiled and struggled in this strange country, to give us a better life. To support your little family. Sometimes you were gone before I got up in the morning for school, and you wouldn't come home, until after I had already gone to sleep for the night. When Daddy found out he was able to put one other person on his grad student health insurance plan, you insisted that he put me on the plan, and not you. I was a hearty, hale, healthy child. But you wanted me to have security. To have the best care. You were always looking out for other people. You always tried your best to give as much of yourself as you could, to others. As I grew up, mom, and started meandering through my teenage years, we got into more arguments, more fights, as mothers and daughters are wont to do. 99% of the time, I was in the wrong. But still, after we fought and I would storm up to my room in a huff, you would come back and apologize to me with tears in your eyes, saying that you couldn't bear to be angry with me, that you couldn't bear to see me hurting, and that you were sorry for losing your temper. Oh mom. Your heart was so soft. That was the kind of mother you were- tender, sweet, kind. You would feel so badly, if others even hinted that they didn't think your intentions were pure and kind. You would redouble your efforts to win people over. In reality, you were much too kind Mommy. You were much too good hearted, and I took you for granted. I have so many more stories to share about you Mommy, but I don't have enough time to go through them all. I so regret that I've run out of time to spend with you. I miss you terribly, and I love you so much. I'd like to end this letter, Mommy, with a quote that I think you would have loved. A quote that, in my opinion, embodies the way you lived your short, wondrous life- "I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." I miss you Mom. Your loving daughter, --Junjun (Allison). I'd like to thank you all for coming today to pay tribute to my mother. During the past few days, so many people have showed us kindness. Many of those I did not know personally, but my mother did. They all give us support and they share our pain, because they loved my mom too. My mother gave so much love, and now she's receiving all our love. I only wish she could have seen how many people she touched and inspired. I want to dedicate this to her, and to help everyone to remember and to never forget her. During the time she spent on earth, she led a full life. She was happy, lovely, and beautiful. My mother's soul was so sweet and kind. My mother was wonderful. Words cannot even describe how amazing she was. She was loving, caring, and compassionate. Among her many virtues were beauty, bravery, devotion, eloquence, and grace. She loved to bring joy to other people's lives- it made her so happy. She loved to do little things like bringing a whole bunch of fresh fruits and veggies from our garden to neighbors and friends , or send people cute and funny youtube clips to brighten up their day. She was so thoughtful as well, always thinking about others, putting their needs before her own. She had many friends, because of her great personality. She was also a terrific and awesome mother. She was the best mother I could ever ask for. She loved me, my father, and my sister so much. She only ever wanted the best for us. I remember when I was younger, I was the most difficult child. I was a grumpy, spoiled brat. I would always cry in preschool because I couldn't stand being without her for more than a few hours. It got to the point where she had to take time off from work to be with me during the school day. Later, when I grew up, she would tell me how out of place she felt, how whenever she tried to sit on one of the tiny chairs, her butt couldn't even fit because it was meant for 2 year olds. But she did it all for me – she sat with me patiently at the preschool because she loved me. Every day of my life, she loved me so much. Even when she got mad at me, she would get so upset afterwards and she would apologize, even though it wasn't her fault, because she had a soft heart. She just wanted to make me happy and spoil me. My mother was beautiful in a lot of different ways. She was just really really pretty. But more importantly, she had a beautiful heart and a strong soul. Even though she was so petite and small in size, she was stronger than most people that I know. My mother's life impacts me greatly. She always had a great influence on people. Even after her death, her legacy lives on, and she changes many people's lives still. The other day, my friend Valerie took me out to dinner, and she said to me, "I think I believe in God now. God is hope. If you don't believe in him, you don't have hope. And if you don't have hope during times like this, then you have nothing." I realize now that part of the reason why I am able to stay so strong is because of God. I have faith in him, and he gives me hope and love. Valerie and my other friends were all amazed at how strong I am. It's because my mother raised me to be strong. She raised me to be like her. I admire my mother so much. And although I'm sad, I am reassured that my mother is in a better place now. I can just see her saying, "Don't be sad! You don't have to be sad because I am so happy now." I truly believe that she is in heaven, with our heavenly father, and he can finally ensure her happiness. She is at peace, and we must celebrate. Her life on earth was so meaningful. But it doesn't end here. It has just begun. Her eternal life in heaven, where there are no tears, no suffering, and no hurt. She will always be with us watching from heaven, and in our hearts. God works in mysterious ways. Although we may never understand why these things happen, we must always trust and believe in God like my mother did. Her faith never wavered. I believe that God has a greater plan for us. I do not know what it is, but I trust him because he loves me. One of my favorite verses in the bible is on love. It reads: "Love is patient, love is kind. I does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 12: 4-7 My mother loved a lot, and she received a lot of love, especially from my dad. She lived a good life, and now she's in heaven, where she deserves to be. I am glad for my mother, because now she can be happy forever. Finally, I want to end with a poem that I wrote for her before. It was a simple acrostic poem for a language arts assignment last year in November, but I meant every word. She told my father that she was so happy when she read it because she finally knew how I felt and how much I loved her. (poem below) MY MOTHER My mother is my pillar of strength; always there to wipe my tears and support me You should see my mom; she glows like the moon on a starless night. My mother is like the sun in my sky, the apple of my eye Omg! She's amazing, and I love her, and I just wanna say Thank you, for being that lovely lady who lives to laugh, and Have you ever seen anyone as beautiful and wonderful as my mother? Every day will pass by, and BAM! You will realize that your last chance is walking out your door so, Remember, your mother is more than just a woman, more than just a wife. She's the one who gave you your life She gave me my life. And I will live happily, I will be strong so that when I am reunited with her in heaven, I can make her proud, more than I already have. -- Jane He (The below text is translated from the Chinese above) In remembrance of my dear, lovely wife. I'm so very thankful today for all my friends, relatives, brothers, sisters, colleagues who have come. Today we are not here to commemorate sorrow, but to celebrate the beautiful life of my beloved wife, Liu Yi. Because she had such a marvelous life, a blossoming life—one worthy of celebration. The first thing I want to share with everyone is that Liu Yi was a unique, special, wonderful wife. The Lord specially prepared her to be my soul mate. My wife and I have known each other since 1979, since we were 13 years old. We went to school in Hunan at the Shuanfeng First High School. I was born as a farmboy in a small, remote village. Liu Yi was born in the county city. There was a beautiful, serene river that flowed through the city, but it so paled in comparison to Liu Yi. She was incredibly beautiful. When she was little, she had a multitude of talents. She could sing like a songbird, she could dance so gracefully. She had special dance training- she harbored dreams of being a dancer. She was the queen of the school, the most beautiful girl there. There were so many students and classmates who adored her. I was one of them. In 1981, I went to the University of Science and Technology in China. In 1982, she also gained admission to the Medical University of Hengyang. In '81, I started writing her letters. In those incipient letters, I never once mentioned or revealed my affection openly. I tried to keep it cool. Between the lines, within the words, I hoped that she would divine my intentions. I was not confident at all, that I could win her affection in return. She was the queen bee- the most beautiful and popular girl at her medical school. So many young, qualified men at the medical school pursued her. There were also students from our high school who went to other universities, like me, who also wrote to her in pursuit of her affection. Liu Yi was such a talented young woman. In all those who were trying to win her love, I did not feel like much of a standout. I anxiously anticipated her letter back to me. After a week passed, when I finally received her first letter in reply, my heart exploded with joy. Her words were also a mystery – so careful and veiled. But she gave me just enough hope, and she gave me just enough courage to keep chasing after her. Soon thereafter, we started our 8 year correspondence of love letters to each other. During this time, as you may expect, being so far away from each other, there were periods of misunderstanding and testiness. During this time, I also maintained correspondence with another girl from our high school. This made Liu Yi incredibly angry. She told me that she didn't value money or status or standing or fame. She had chosen me because she had seen in me a pure heart and a sincere, honest character. She felt she could entrust her life to me. And so she was deeply disappointed and upset that I was writing to another girl. Because she thought that she was not my only girl. In reply, I explained to her, I never had the intention to pursue that other girl's heart. I was just entranced by her beautiful pen brush handwriting and calligraphy. And so I had maintained a cordial friendly communication with her. But because Liu Yi was an idealist, a romantic, her heart could bear even a hint, a speck of imperfection in her love story – a hint of anything impure. In 1986, I went to visit her in XiangTan. She insisted on breaking up with me and cutting off any more ties because of what had transpired. I thought I had lost my first love, my true love, my soul mate. The girl of my dreams – so perfect and wonderful. I was crushed. During the year of 1987, we both endured much suffering and heartbreak as we were separated from one another. In the winter of that year, I went back home to visit one of our high school teachers. From that visit, I gleaned, that even though, during that past year, Liu Yi had many, many pursuers, she had not taken any of them seriously, she had not responded to any of them the whole time. She had been waiting. So I decided to go to Changsha to see her. At that time, she had already started working as a physician in the hospital. I remember that day so clearly- there was a torrent of rain crashing down. There I appeared, completely soaked and wet, in front of her. I said to her- "Liu Yi, let's have one more fight. Last time, in XiangTan, we never finished it. Let's properly finish that fight so that we will never care about each other anymore." She was not surprised to see me in front of her. Instead, incredibly, it looked like she was overjoyed to see me. She retorted, "Hey, do you care for me? Who would want to argue with you?" We went inside, and she borrowed some clothes from one of her colleagues, so that I could change out of my completely soaking wet clothes. We bared our hearts to each other, and told of how much we had missed and longed for each other. On that day, we reconciled and got back together. In 1988, on December 5th, Liu Yi and I were married. There was no proper wedding or celebration. We were too poor. We just invited a few close friends to come and eat some happiness candies with us. And so, she married me – a poor country boy. At that time, you could say, our little family really had nothing but each other. At that time, I had to return to graduate school in Beijing. My salary was not more than $10 US dollars per month. Her salary was also probably about the same. But my wife was a lover of romance. She was just like one of those characters out of the famous romantic novels from the Taiwanese author QiongYao. She so relished reading literature, and especially those novels. She really didn't care about money or status. She would rather live a plain life with me, a life of nothing else, but loving each other with all our hearts. A life of pure love. In the first few years of our marriage, she endured much suffering and pain. But she was so incredibly strong and iron-willed. In the words of her Changsha dialect, she considered herself a "ban-man" woman. In other words, a woman who could stubbornly persevere through anything. Who would strive continuously for what she wanted. In Chinese, the same sounding word, or syllable, can be comprised of many different characters and have many different meanings. For my wife, she was initially given the first name "Yi" of the pair "Gang-Yi" which means perseverance and strength. In 1989, LiuYi was in the midst of taking care of two, very sick mothers- her own, and my mother as well. She was a good, responsible, dutiful daughter. At the same time, she was pregnant with our first daughter, Junjun (Allison). I was still far away in Beijing, completing my graduate studies. There was a student movement during that Spring of '89 for democracy. My wife was so concerned for my wellbeing, and my life. She wrote to me – "I do not want to see my child born in this world with no father." Just days before the infamous, deadly, demonstrations and protests on June 4th 1989, I returned to her side. She likely saved my life. At the time, it was very hard. Our mothers were very ill. Terminally ill. LiuYi continued to work, continued to put in hours at the hospital, up until the very day that my first daughter was born. She put in a full day of work on Saturday. Junjun (Allison) was born on Sunday. When she was delivering my baby girl, there were no empty beds. She had to share one bed with another pregnant mother. The summers in Changsha, are oppressively hot. I can only imagine how much she was suffering. My wife, my LiuYi, was just such a strong-willed woman. She could endure anything, much more than the average person. She was a superwoman. She didn't want her child to have any negative side effects from the birth, so she decided – no painkillers – no medicine. She forged on herself, she pressed on for countless hours, in her pain, to deliver our baby girl. Jun er (Allison's) birth brought her unparalleled happiness, as a mother for the first time. In this way, we continued to love each other, to watch out for each other, and our small family. She would often say to me – she loved this one line from the novel Jane Eyre – "to live, is to suffer." But she would say to me, there is no need to be scared. As long as we have love, we will have all the happiness we need. As both of our mothers passed away, I was in a state of deep sorrow and pain. On the day that my mother was to be buried, I turned to my older brother and said, tonight, let's spend this night by our mother's gravesite, to keep her company for one last time. We stared off into the dark, expansive, night sky. I started wondering, is this the meaning of life? Of humanity? To end in dust, in dirt? And If so, what was all of it for? What could be the meaning of this life? There must be a higher purpose to life, to living. And so, my wife and I, we set out to figure out the meaning of life. The Lord is gracious. We knock, and he answers. At that time, I was back in Hunan teaching at the university. One of the professors, who was also a good Christian, introduced Jesus Christ to us, in fellowship. In 1991, another kind, gracious, Christian, Mrs. Judy Gableman, arrived at the university to teach us English. From the encounters with those two godly people, my wife and I came to know the meaning of life, and the love of God, - that which we were trying to pursue. In 1995, I immigrated to Lubbock, Texas to continue my education. My wife and child and I were separated for a short period. On Christmas of 1995, Liu Yi and Jun er (Allison) arrived in America. At Judy Gabelman's home, we spent a lovely, beautiful first Christmas together. On Easter of 1996, my wife and I were both baptized in Lubbock, Texas at a Chinese church. During the time that I was a graduate student in Texas, we relied solely on my meager stipend to get by. So my wife decided to go and work, to toil in a Chinese restaurant. Three years later, I landed my first job, in Dallas Texas. Our little family moved to Dallas, and we stayed there for about 5 years. During this period, we purchased our first new car. We purchased our first new home. And we conceived my second baby daughter. Zheng-er (Jane). Zheng-er, (Jane's) birth was a gift from God. When Liu Yi was 6 months pregnant, she and Jun-er (Allison) got into a bad car accident. LiuYi recounted experiencing sharp stomach pains. In her womb, the unborn baby, Jenny, who was so active before, had ceased moving. On LiuYi's dress, and on the floor of the car, there was a lot of water. My wife panicked. We prayed together. And praise the Lord, after some rest, the baby in her womb slowly started moving again. When Zheng er (jane) was born, I gave her the name (Zheng en) – which means, true grace. True grace from the Lord. But my wife liked to call her "Yan-er" because when Jenny was born, she was just like a beautiful blossoming rosy flower. Zheng er (Jane's) birth brought Liuyi much joy and happiness. It was just like when our firstborn came into the world. LiuYi bore all the weight and responsibilities of delivery and motherhood. There was no one to help us. No mothers, no family. Our little family was alone in a foreign country, and we had to fend for ourselves. In 2002, the economy started collapsing. The company I worked for folded and went bust. I had to find another job, and so I left Dallas for San Diego in pursuit of job and financial stability. Liuyi stayed behind in Dallas, raising the two kids, solely by herself. She not only had to do a mother's work, she also had to take care of a father's work. My beloved wife was a very diligent and capable woman. The fence in our home in Dallas broke down. She hired a contractor to fix it. The roof of our home was damaged by ice and hail. She navigated complex, foreign, rules and bureaucracy to have the insurance fix the damage. In this way, she devoted herself to help her husband raise the kids and take care of the home. In 2003, we finally decided to move the entire family to San Diego. She took upon herself to do all the packing, all the arrangements, to prepare for our move. All by herself. The furniture that had to be sold – she sold herself. Everything else, she donated to charity or painstakingly packed away with care, all by herself. When she walked out of the airport terminal with her two babies, her whole face was lined with weariness. In 2004, we bought the home we currently have in San Marcos. We had finally settled down in San Diego county. Liuyi was a devoted wife. She often would smile and say to me, we must grow old together, we must get white hairs together—hand in hand, we'll grow old together. The accident that happened tragically took her beautiful, blossoming life. But, God is good. I know Liuyi is now in the most beautiful, peaceful place. A place with no imperfection. A place that is flawless and serene –just what she had pursued all her life. In life, there are always many regrets. In the time that she was mine, I did not realize her immense value. If I could start this life over, and live it again, I would love her and cherish her even more. So much more. I would cherish her, just as I cherish my own pupil. The only thing I don't regret is that I was blessed with her presence for 25 years. These 25 years were years of toil and hard work, but they were also years of complete loving, devotion, and living for each other. What I thought, she thought; what I felt, she felt. We were each others' soul mates. The next part of her life that I would like share with all of you is that she was a very righteous, virtuous medical professional. A physician full of compassion and empathy. During her 8 year tenure as a Doctor of Internal Medicine, she saved many patients' lives- she took her oath seriously. She was a responsible, accountable, careful person. She considered all the possible details. I remember once, there was a deeply impoverished patient from the countryside, who had been carried to the hospital by his family. His family could not afford to pay for the hospital care. Thus, the hospital refused to take his case. The suffering and pain in this man and his family affected LiuYi deeply and touched her heart. She resolved to take his case, to take him under her care. She told hospital administrators , "We cannot let this man die; deduct the hospital expenses that this man will accrue from my own paycheck; I will take responsibility for him." The president of the hospital was so moved by her that they decided to accept the patient for treatment. Under her careful treatment, he returned to full health, and when he recovered, she hired a hospital taxi to take him back home to his family. Liuyi not only cured her patients' physical ailments, she also strived to become good friends with them. Once, she treated a young man, about 20 years old – a terminally ill cancer patient. Although the patient did not survive, LiuYi was a guiding light in the final months of his life. She always encouraged him, always comforted him. In his darkest hours, she was there for him. Just like a dedicated, loving older sister. They became great friends. LiuYi was always a good Samaritan. She felt deep compassion for others. LiuYi was a considerate, thoughtful woman. Always putting herself in other people's shoes- always trying to take their perspective. She was the most selfless person I ever knew. Always willing to put herself last, and to suffer, so that others could reap the benefit. Her true nature was joyful, radiant. Warm like a hearth, a fire. She took her twinkling laughter everywhere she went. She was a romantic woman who placed love above all else. She was an idealist who strove for perfection in all that she did, with all of her being. She was a woman who could persevere through any hardship, and press on. She was a righteous physician, like an angel to those whom she cared for. She was a good Samaritan. She was a thoughtful, respectful, dutiful daughter. She was a warm, loving, devoted wife. She was a courageous, brave and loving mother who bore pain with dignity and grace. From the original inception of her name, from the Chinese character pair "Gang – Yi" (Enduring, Perseverant, Strong) to her given name, from the character pair "Cheng-Yi" (Righteous, Saving Grace), Liuyi had too many good qualities about her – I cannot list them all. She will live on in my heart and my daughter's hearts forever. -Chuguang He 4/5/2013