Pamela Kowar-Calder

1959 - 2021

Pamela Kowar-Calder of Plainville, 61, went home to God on June 11, 2021, following a courageous 2 yr battle with lung cancer. She was the loving wife of William Calder. She was born on Oct. 7, 1959 in New Britain to the late Theodore "Ted" and Shirley (Pignatella) Kowar. She was raised in a fun-loving home with two brothers and one sister on Knollwood Road where her neighbors were like family. She affectionately referred to the old homestead as "The Knoll." Pamela was in the Choir & Nat'l Honor Society- Newington High School Class of 1977 and worked at WPOP radio, UPS, and her father's print shop post-graduation. After 8 yrs of working, she restarted her education and went on to graduate as Valedictorian from Tunxis Comm. College and cum laude CCSU with a BS Communication & Psychology. She started her career as a Personnel Officer with CT Dept of Correction at Whiting Forensic. With CT DOC she worked in Hartford, Wethersfield, and Willard-Cybulski Prison. At DOC she enjoyed the bowling and golf leagues after work and made many lifelong friendships. Her petite frame earned her the nickname "LPK," Little Pammie Kowar. In the golf league, she credited her short drives and high handicap with carrying herself & golf partner Paul to victory many times. She found it hard to leave DOC but took on a new challenge as Director of Human Resources at Tunxis Comm. College, retiring in 2015, wrapping up a 25 yr career with the State. She enjoyed long walks every day, white turtlenecks, cozy socks, and a cute jacket. She had a big bright smile and showed an interest in everyone she met. She loved spending time with her sister and mother. She was the family caretaker; so loving and so loved by all. She made her home in New Britain for many years with her little dog Duffy until life was interrupted and she met and married the love of her life Bill Calder Oct. 19, 2013 and moved to Plainville. Their relationship was one of mutual respect, pure love, generosity, and magic. She became the best stepmom ever to Rob and Hailey. She made family meals to foster communication, bringing warmth and love to make our house a home. She shared her strong Catholic faith with Hailey and they became very close. She was a confidant to Hailey and her many friends. Pamela delighted in her daughter's successes and was looking forward to a fun summer in her happy place, the 1000 Islands in N.Y. and taking trips to search for Hailey's college. But as Pamela said, "God has other plans."
Pamela was predeceased by her father, Godmother Donna Fitts, and many aunts and uncles. Pamela is survived by her husband William Calder, children Rob & Hailey, her Mother Shirley, siblings Ted, Kevin (Meg), and Kerry Ann Kowar as well as nephews Kristofer & Kyle (Chris) Kowar, niece Mallory (Phill Faust) Kowar, Uncle Joe (Dotty) Kowar, Aunt Flo Dickman, Uncle Don (Anita) Pignatella, beloved cousins, in-laws, and countless friends. Love one another.
A Mass of Christian Burial will be held Friday, June 18 at 11 a.m. at St. Matthew Catholic Church, 120 Church Ave., Bristol. The family will receive visitors prior to Mass from 9:30 to 10:30 a.m. at the Bailey Funeral Home. Interment will follow at West Meadow Cemetery in Newington. The family will receive visitors on Thursday, June 17 from 4 to 8 p.m. at the Bailey Funeral Home, 48 Broad St., Plainville. Memorial donations can be made in Pamela's memory to Hope Lodge in Boston, Mass. To leave a message of remembrance, please visit www.bailey-funeralhome.com.