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14 Entries
Mom
Melissa MCGHEE
July 14, 2019
pamela Snyder-Ball
January 4, 2009
What great smiles those Valentine girls have. It is great to look at old photos and remember family gatherings.That is how I remember them. They must have been something else when they were younger. Sometimes I wish I could travel back and watch their childhood daily lives from a distance. Wouldn't that be grand. I bet they caused all sorts of fun trouble.
My Mom always said her sister Joan was full of life and so very smart.
What I remember about Aunt Joan was her visits, her laugh and her ability to engage you in almost any conversation. I knew that she had a depth and breadth of knowledge about many subjects. My mother was so proud of her sisters intellect. So when Aunt Joan would draw me into a conversation I would initally be intimadated but her manner was so easy and she was so non judgemental that I found myself asking questions and learning new and interesting information almost without effort. She had passion that was infectious and a love so deep for her family that one could not but admire her for all that she was and is as she lives on on her children and grandchildren.
We miss you Aunt Joan. You have a wonderful family to carry on your legacy and they are doing a great job of it. You must be so very proud.
Love (as you would always call me and I loved it)
Pammy Mae
July 28, 2008
July 28, 2008
July 28, 2008
Beth Ann Dalton
July 27, 2008
This is an e-mail I sent to Greg on June 8, which apparently never reached him:
I am sorry to hear about your mother's death. She was always very good to me. When you brought me "way out to Suffolk county" she was the only one I knew out here who I could talk to about my pregnancy with Jimmy, and what to expect in his very early years. She was a friend to me. Over the years I do not remember her having a bad work about anyone. I probably never would have started my teaching career so soon after Jim was born if it weren't for her. I really did not want to leave my precious infant with anyone. If Mommy wasn't there, Grandma was next best. I am retiring next June with exactly 30 years of teaching. (I bought back 20 day of subbing which I did when she watched Jimmy). I probably would not be able to retire with my full pension and benefits if it were not for her. (The district gives us full medical only if we leave at age 55)
When you and I went through our various problems she was always there. I do know that "blood is thicker than water" and I do believe that there is not greater love than what I experienced your mom having for you.
She is now with her children Barbara and Jimmy, her husband,parents, siblings, friends, etc.
In sympathy,
Beth Ann
My sympathies to the rest of the family too.
Melissa
July 27, 2008
My Mom:
Kind, gentle with out judgement always
My mom shared with me not long ago that the highlight of her day was when we all came home and told her about our adventures in the outside world....she wasn't always pleased of course, but she tried her best to be excited and happy to hear what we had to say. This was my mother's greatest gift in that she was able to listen and hear what we had to say.
"Did you read the paper today?" she'd ask.
the conversation was continuous of what is happening in the world today, the president, the state and the local politics.
For close to 20 years my parents spent a great many Sundays at my home; early on they asked me "where is the Times???" At the time we were only getting Newsday and maybe picking up the Times as an afterthought once in awhile....soon they somehow finagled us to get the times on the weekend. Probably because my mom would ask "did you see the article in the times???" Breakfast at my house on sunday became a tradition
.
VISITNG
Way back when my mom was just a little girl of maybe 5 or 6 the first telephone was installed in her house. Grandma Valentine called to her and said "look Joanie talk to Glady" Mom said the receiver was pushed to her ear and she said hello and Glady's voice came over the receiver; it scared her she said because Glady was not in the house with her, only her voice.
I think that basic strangeness about the phone followed her for the rest of her life. She didn't like to talk on the phone, I can only remember a few telephone conversations with her, most likely intiated by me. The rest of the time I could expect a visit from mom every few days....After she passed I realized not a week went by that I had not seen my mom my entire life.
Visiting was Mom's way of eyeballing her kids , her sisters and their husbands and their kids and Grandma Valentine when she was still with us. She was after all a nurse and did make an assessment based on that look see...if she felt something was awry you could bet that she'd come look for you at work or somewhere else a few days later or she’d drive by your house or in my case drive into our private drive and turn around and LEAVE! She'd carry stories from home to home and so we'd all be kept up to date with the current news of the Valentines. I think we knew when someone was getting married before they knew they were getting married...or that a new descendent was on its way.
In 2003 my mom became very ill and spent 19 days in Stony Brook, much of that time she was in a coma. Sometime during her convalescence I went to her house to close the windows in her car when I got into the car I looked over and sure enough there were her sunglasses in the seat and a receipt, I glanced at the receipt and low and behold what had she bought the day before she went into the hospital but a hershey bar for her and dad. It was classic mom; something wasn’t right she’d say “take a nap” or she’d offer you some hershey’s.
My mom took great pride in how large this Valentine clan became and is now, she produced the first grandchild for John and Norah Valentine in 1951 and 11 and 1/2 years later produced the last; 13 in total, she contributed 6.
One of the last images I have retained of my parents is an image of them walking hand in hand into one of the medical offices we had to visit frequently; I was walking quite a ways a head of them and I turned around and they were holding hands smiling back at me.
~~~ Ask everyone to hold hands~~~~
When I was a little girl my Dad would offer his pointer finger so that I could hold it so I would not get lost in the crowd or have trouble keeping up...one day as I got older we were walking into the supermarket and my Dad offered his hand to me and I was tall enough to hold hands, he leaned down to me and he said "when I squeeze your hand three times like this" and he squeezed my little hand three times, it means "I LOVE YOU"
I know my Dad squeezed my mom's hand three times that day in the parking lot... I hope that you all squeeze the hand next to you three times today.
Joan Folk is at the top-right
July 22, 2008
(from left to right)Kyle Folk-Freund, Megan Folk-Freund (Children to Lynda Folk), Joan Folk
July 22, 2008
(clock-wise from top-left)Allen Folk, Joan Folk, Elizabeth Folk (Gregory Folk's daughter)
July 22, 2008
(top to bottom) Joan Folk, Melissa McGhee, Devon McGhee
July 22, 2008
James Folk
July 21, 2008
Thank you Aunt Missy for setting this up!
James Folk
July 21, 2008
I wrote this at work, a few moments after my father informed me of my grandmother....
(copy and pasted)
My grandmother just died.
I feel odd
I do feel sad
just not as sad as i thought i might
it might be because I love her and she was suffering
it might be because she knew it herself
it might be because I got to spend a lot of time with her
I do love her, very much
I think of the last time we stood together talking. she was leaning on the
kitchen counter, and said to me she doesn't want to suffer.
I think of the last conversation we had together, with my aunt debby present. I was discussing
the woman I was dating, and asked her who I should pick.
She said: "the one that is the most calm."
When I graduated college, and I went to Grandma and Grandpa's house to let them know, grandma asked: "When will I have great-grandchildren?"
-You still will grandma.
I am lucky to spend the time I had with her.
Waking up, taking a shower, coming down the stairs to see her watching
the latest news of Hillary on CNN.
I would make a bowl of cereal, and sit at the head of the dining room table
while we talk of various topics. After that, I would share a cigarette and a cup of coffee
with her before I headed off to work.
I feel a little remorse that I didnt' go to the church function, although she did ask me to come along, but she understood.ithink.....
Melissa
July 20, 2008
always a smile, always encouragement, always a story.
Thank you for being the best Mom.
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