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Joseph Neff Obituary
Joseph Neff, a beloved educator, coach, and mentor, passed away on August 16, 2024. He succumbed to acute myeloid leukemia, a battle he faced with the same strength and determination that defined his life.
Born in Ossining, NY, Joseph was the son of the late Joseph and Margaret Neff (Camp). As a child, he played baseball with his brother, while their mother served as an umpire-a cherished memory that sparked his lifelong passion for sports. Joseph also found a love for wrestling, a sport that would become central to his life.
Joseph attended Eastern Kentucky State University, where he wrestled and laid the foundation for his future career in education and coaching. He began his teaching career in Duchess County, NY as a wood shop teacher. He coached baseball and wrestling, sharing his love for sports with young athletes.
In 1980, Joseph moved to Connecticut, where he joined the faculty at New Milford High School. He taught wood shop but later transitioned to architectural drafting. His influence extended beyond the classroom, as he coached football, softball, and wrestling. He later became a well-respected wrestling official, known for his "Neff Roll," and was a dedicated softball umpire and volleyball official.
Joseph's teaching career spanned 50 years, touching the lives of students and athletes across generations. He also served 25 years as a guidance counselor for the adult education program, helping countless people navigate their educational journeys. He was a man who truly loved his job, a passion that endured until his illness forced him into retirement.
Outside of his professional life, Joseph cherished the simple pleasures. He had a love for his pets, who brought him joy and companionship. He was also known for his adventurous spirit, often seen cruising around in his Slingshot, relishing the thrill of the ride.
He leaves behind his wife of 42 years, Kathleen Neff, who was his steadfast companion and support throughout his life. He is also survived by his daughters, Danielle Neff and Ashley Parkhurst (and her husband Chris), as well as five cherished grandchildren: Joseph, Gabriella, Victoria, Peter, and Patrick. He is also survived by his sister, Patricia Santana (husband Richard). Joseph was predeceased by his brother, Robert Neff (surviving wife Ann).
Joseph Neff will be remembered not only for his contributions as a teacher and coach but also for the kindness, dedication, and spirit he brought to everything he did. His legacy will live on in the lives he touched, the students and athletes he inspired, and in the memories of those who loved him.
A celebration of life will be held on Sunday September 22 with hours from 1 p.m. - 5 p.m. at Candlewood Valley Country Club, 401 Danbury Rd., New Milford, CT 06776.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Joseph Neff
Bethany Mihaly
August 21, 2025
Joe was the wrestling coach when I started at New Milford High in 1988. You could tell that he was already tuning a respected program and the athletes knew they could trust him. He was very helpful to me in getting my program off on the right path. Thank you Coach Neff, you will be missed.
Michael Juliano
December 31, 2024
Mr. Neff was a fantastic wrestling coach. He laid the foundation for NMHS´ accomplished wrestling program. I´ll always remember him yelling "On the line!" when it was time for sprints across the upstairs gym.
Jerry Romaniello
September 26, 2024
My sincere condolences.
Sydney Page
September 13, 2024
My sincere condolences to Kathleen and the entire Neff Family.
Best of the best! Will hold on to the memories of our visits.
Fighter to the end!
Save me some M&M
Rest in Peace Sir
Sydney Page
Joe Moker
September 9, 2024
I was so sorry to hear of Joe´s passing. Joe umpired softball games for quite a few years. He really enjoyed working the 8u machine games for both girls and boys games. I enjoyed working games with Joe and have a lot of fond memories of them. He was bigger than life and a great guy. He will be really missed.
Pete Swan
September 1, 2024
Much respect for Joe; his contribution to wrestling in CT was significant. Condolences to his family. He will be missed.
Mary and Dan Forno
August 31, 2024
We are so sorry for the Neff family loss. It´s hard to imagine Joe has left us too soon. We met Joe and Kathy and family some time after we moved to New Milford. The families became friendly and frequently got together socially for picnics, pool parties, holiday parties, dinner, concerts, sports events, family events, you name it. The friendship has lasted since then including after we moved away from New Milford. Joe was always quick to laughter and enjoyed life which made him fun to be with. He had a positive impact on our family both through the friendship and through the school system. Somehow Neff Teas helped make the occasions memorable for sure! I was always impressed with Joe´s concern for his students and how he went out of his way to always be a positive role model as he went about his life in town. I am sure he left very positive impressions on the people whose lives were touched by him over the years. He was a good man and will certainly be missed. We send our condolences and prayers to Kathy and the entire Neff family. Rest in peace our friend. I know you will be greeting us with a fresh batch of Neff Teas when next we meet.
Tyler Barrett
August 30, 2024
My condolences to the entire Neff family.
I had Mr. Neff as my architectural drafting teacher in my freshman and sophomore year of high school about 8 years ago. I credit him for sparking my interest in architecture and real estate which has led to the job I have now. I will always remember that he nominated me for an excellence in architectural drafting award which was the first award I had ever received in school and one I was very proud of. His classes were the ones I looked forward to the most and I know many others who felt the same way.
Myself, fellow alumni, and New Milford High School will miss him dearly.
Drew Aquilina (wrestler)
August 30, 2024
Knowing, growing, and learning from Coach Neff reminds me of the profound quote ... 'There are some who bring a light so great to the world, that even after they have gone, the light remains.'
This statement indelibly depicts my friend and prolific Coach Neff.
Coach's passing is a tough blow. Joining many here who have commented, the Aquilina family and the New Milford community have suffered a great loss. But Coach's light remains bright and all the students and athletes he molded are much better people because of his presence in their lives.
My deepest sympathies go out to Mrs. Neff and her family. God Bless Coach Neff. May he rest in peace.
Julie
August 30, 2024
We are so sorry for your loss. Mr. Neff inspired our son to pursue a career in architecture. I know he is just one of countless students he impacted over his years of dedication. He will be missed.
Abraham Chamie
August 30, 2024
A very kind and likable man with an immense influence on all who knew him, especially his athletes. He will be missed. My best to his family.
Abe Chamie
jenny joAnn Opulski
August 30, 2024
so sorry for your loss! I taught with Joe and we coached (different sports)at nmhs! he was great at sharing stories and experiences!!!God's blessings during your journey of grief
paws for peace,
sincerely,joAnn(jenny) "O"pulski
Danielle
August 29, 2024
Mr Neff always spent time talking to me during lunch or while I was walking the track each day
Lauren
August 29, 2024
I am so sorry to the family for this deep loss. Mr. Neff was instrumental in helping me futher my education and gave me the confidence and suplort I needed to finish Adult Ed.
It was an honor to know him. He was an incredible, warm, and kind person and made a huge impact on so many lives. Sending love to his family.
Andra
August 29, 2024
When I went to adult Ed, Mr. Neff was ALWAYS my go too. When I was feeling down or didn´t want to continue or felt like I couldn´t, I´d walk right into the office and there he would be smiling wondering why I wasn´t in class and in his office instead. I´d tell him what was going on and he´d help and always tell me I could do anything and never to give us. This hurts my heart beyond belief. Mr. Neff was one of a kind. My condolences to his family, he will be missed
Tinker Hickey
August 29, 2024
To know Joe is as a teacher for your child was a gift. To know Joe as a father and a husband was a joy!
Not only is Joe a big loss to his family and friends but also to our high school.
Tinker Hickey
david t mariconda
August 29, 2024
Kathy,Danielle ,Ashley,
I am truely sorry to hear of Joe passing,my thoughts and prayers are with you all. May God bless you and keep you in his grace.
Chick
Jess
August 28, 2024
Mr Neff was one of my favorite teachers at NMHS. I am so sorry for his family, friends, and students loss. He was a genuinely good person, and he will be sorely missed.
Andrea Norem
August 28, 2024
When I first began teaching at NMHS, I was an English teacher in the Business wing. I will always remember his kindness and how he went out of his way to welcome me, as well as making me feel comfortable. Donuts, meetings, funny banter that we shared. He was a wonderful, kind and funny man. My husband and I give our condolences and prayers to Kathy and the rest of his family, of whom he was so proud. God bless you Joe and thank you.
Andrea (Norem) and Sam Thompson
Merissa
August 28, 2024
Mr. Neff was my varisty softball couch for all 4 years on high school. He and I left a long lasting memory of those 4 years that when I would see him cruising we would pull over to talk about those days. Him asking how my daughter was doing as I would ask how the family was doing.
This is a hard pill to swallow.To his family my deepest condolences .
Rest easy Mr. Neff
Nicholas Marsicano Jr.
August 28, 2024
Neff was one of those bigger than life and lovable characters who made an instant impression on everyone who met him. I got to meet Joe when he coached my younger brother in football and wrestling. Everyone in my family loved him, as his persona left an impact on all of us. The world was a better place with Joe in it. Our family and the greater New Milford community has lost a cherished friend. My condolences to Kathleen and the entire Neff family.
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