Thomas Whyte O'Neil

1937 - 2025

Thomas Whyte O'Neil
January 22, 2025
Thomas Whyte O'Neil, aged 87 and 11 months and longtime resident of Guilford, passed away on Wednesday, January 22nd at Twin Maples Nursing Home in Durham, CT after a long neurological decline from Hydrochephalus and Dementia. Tom was born on February 21st, 1937 in Amityville, New York to Charles and Elizabeth Whyte O'Neil. He was predeceased additionally by his three brothers Charles Roderick, Terrance, and John O'Neil as well as a nephew Timothy O'Neil.
Tom spent his grade school years in Mountain Lakes, NJ, a time he referred to as "a kids' dream" although his earliest memories were of WWII and the Great Depression. They had to adjust to his father working and living in Philadelphia during the week due to having been a Securities Analyst in Manhattan previously and losing his job. Another job change in 1949 moved the family to Highland Park, IL.
Tom is a graduate of Loyola Academy, a High School in Chicago that he had to hitchhike to most everyday for four years, and he received his Bachelors of Arts in English from Holy Cross College in 1959 after moving to the east coast, by himself, via train. Of Holy Cross he said "the stricter rules were sort of a joke to me after my high school experience and I didn't mind going to mass on four of the five weekdays". Later in life he went on to receive his MA from Southern University.
Tom was a Navy ROTC and after college was deployed to Norfolk, VA where he joined the crew of the Destroyer USS Henley, first traveling around the Mediterranean where he picked up his deep love of other cultures, and being part of the Cuban Missile Blockage in 1962 after the failure of the Bay of Pigs Invasion. He finished his Navy career on the USS Putnam. During this time he also went to Justice school in Newport, VA and became a Naval prosecutor. Tom loved the Navy and his most favorite stories to tell were of his time as an officer with his fellow sailors.
After the Navy, Tom moved to Washington, D.C. where he started his career as the librarian at the New York Herald Tribune Washington Bureau.. During this time he had the good fortune to talk with a young woman who would call him with questions from the Library of Congress. Soon after, Tom would meet his future wife, Emily Rosensteel, during a class at George Washington University when he asked to walk her home (after stepping on her foot). When they put two and two together they were astounded.
Tom's career would bring him to many places and industries. Whether the Newark Chamber of Commerce, Saint Raphael's Better Health Magazine, and even his unsuccessful dabbling in politics, he took the opportunities to get to know and love people. Everywhere he went he found joy in learning about others and connecting with people. His adventures led him to meeting some of our time's most interesting people such as Mohammed Ali, Jackie Robinson, Billy Martin, his Navy colleague Sen. John McCain, George H.W. Bush, and Bobby Kennedy. Always genuinely inquisitive, he loved talking to the famous and the not famous and had a gift for getting someone's life story in one sitting. He loved trying out what he knew of others native languages and making people feel welcome. By far his favorite experience was becoming a teacher. As an adjunct professor, especially at his beloved Gateway Community College, he connected with students in profound ways. His encouragement of their growth and talent made him a favorite and brought him dear friends. Continuing as a freelance writer he contributed to countless newspapers and magazines and was a ghost writer for those needing help with their autobiographies. In the early 2000s he co-wrote two books with forensic scientist, Dr. Henry Lee; Cracking Cases and Cracking More cases.
After his children were born while living in Princeton, NJ, where he adored spending time with his nephews that attended the University, the family moved to Branford, CT where they lived in Stony Creek for 23 years. In 1999 they found the perfect house and neighborhood in Guilford and enjoyed the past 25 years on Russet Drive with "the best neighbors".
Tom will be remembered for his gift of storytelling both orally and in writing, as well as his big heart. During his hardest times medically he was always making sure to make others feel better, becoming a favorite among the chemo community when fighting colon cancer in 2006, and in every hospital he ever went to he connected with patients and staff, often being taken care of by his or Emily's former students who treated him like family. He enjoyed connecting with new people and experiences through his kids' families and friends and had a special place in his heart for his "BC Girls" whom Meg went to school with at Boston College. He even changed his email address to "bcdad1998", a miracle for a Holy Cross grad. As one of them so beautifully said "he 'saw' all of us and made us feel smart and talented when we were so clueless. He would always affirm what I said and tell me it was a great insight or perspective. A natural teacher and encourager. We were so lucky to know him and have him in our lives as young women".
Tom leaves behind his wife of 59 years, 9 months and 21 days, Emily (Rosensteel) O'Neil. He will be missed by his son, Thomas O'Neil and his wife, Elizabeth, and his daughter, Margaret (Meg) Teape and her husband, Michael. He was loved by his four grandchildren Patrick, Paige, Emily and James. Tom was grateful for his close relationship with his brothers and sisters in-law. His numerous nieces and nephews, and great-nieces and great-nephews, have provided him much joy.
Friends are invited to a Mass of Christian Burial which will be celebrated at Saint George Church, 33 Whitfield St., Guilford on Saturday, February 8th at 10 a.m. Burial with military honors will follow at St. Agnes Cemetery, E. Main Street, Branford. A reception will follow. In lieu of flowers, the family would love to have donations made to two organizations he was passionate about: Sarah Foundation, 246 Goose Ln, Suite 104, Guilford, CT 06437; https://sarahfoundation.org/donate/ and the Dan Cosgrove Animal Shelter, 749 E. Main St., Branford, CT 06405; https://www.branford-ct.gov/departments/animal-shelter/donation . Arrangements in care of the Guilford Funeral Home, 115 Church St., Guilford. To share a memory or leave condolences, visit www.guilfordfuneralhome.com