PATENAUDE--Dean J., Jr.

("DJ"), of Chicago, IL, died peacefully at age 53 on Sunday, September 11, 2016, after suffering a stroke. He was surrounded by his wife of 29 years, Shelley, and his children Andrew ("Drew," 24), Jay (22) and Alexandra ("Allie," 18). He is also survived by his parents Joan and Dean J. Patenaude Sr., of Naples, FL, formerly of Glastonbury, CT (where Dean spent his childhood), Shelley's parents Lorna Pfaelzer and Stephen F. Briggs II, Dean's two sisters Christie Hedges (spouse Bob Hedges) and Dana Mauser (spouse George Mauser), and countless nieces, nephews and cousins, as well as other family and friends. "You live for your obituary, not your resume," Dean was known to tell friends and colleagues-- advice he took to heart. Dean loved athletics, competition in general, wine and his family. Dean met Shelley at Georgetown University when they were both 19, and they have been best friends ever since. Dean instilled his love for competition in his children, who enjoyed battling it out with their dad on the golf course, ski run and the paddle court. An involved dad, Dean was a fixture at his children's sports, arts and academic events. His family life did not take a backseat to his professional life, though Dean approached his professional life with the same gregarious enjoyment. He began his career at Brinson Partners before moving to Wellington Management and later Affiliated Managers Group. Since 2009, he had been Executive Vice President, Head of Global Distribution at Artisan Partners in Milwaukee, WI. Dean left everyone he met feeling as though they had a special connection. It was no act-- Dean was a leader people wanted to follow. He first honed his leadership skills as captain of the Hoyas football team at Georgetown before going on to get an MBA at Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University. He had an affable, disarming sense of humor-- often leaving his audience (because all the world was a stage to Dean) in stitches. Yet he was serious about supporting his children and employees in anything they hoped to achieve. He held his children, his employees--and also himself--to the highest possible standards. Dean was patient and diligent in helping others craft a path to excellence. In this, despite seeming larger than life, Dean was selfless. He was always generous in sharing his talents with a range of charitable organizations, most recently with the Church of the Holy Spirit (Lake Forest, IL), leading capital campaigns at the Lakeview Pantry, and in numerous roles with the Lurie Children's Hospital. Giving to the end, Dean was an organ donor, helping to extend the lives of others. A funeral service will be held on Saturday, September 17 at 3:30pm CT at the Church of the Holy Spirit, 400 East Westminster Road, Lake Forest, IL 60045, with a reception to follow. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to The Dean J. Patenaude, Jr. Fund at the Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago; 225 East Chicago Avenue, Box 4; Chicago, IL 60611--or go to the website at www.lurie childrens.org/patenaude.

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Published by New York Times on Sep. 14, 2016.

Memories and Condolences
for DEAN PATENAUDE

53 Entries

Kevin & Patty Gallagher

September 7, 2024

We will always treasure the memories and time spent with DJ. So many laughs and cherished weekends on the cape and in Dover around the dinner table with Father Charles leading us. And the night in the Squire with bridal party is an all time favorite. Wishing your family peace and comfort.

Nick Colmenares

November 10, 2016

I am so sorry to have just learned of DJ's passing. For several years, I have tried to track him down unsuccessfully. DJ and I were teammates on the football team at Georgetown - as a wide receiver he and I made some big plays together, and I recall my rime with DJ with great fondness. He was 2 years ahead of me, and was a true mentor to me on and off the field. He always lifted me up when I was down, and taught me how to have a positive attitude through adversity. I am sorry we did not stay in touch over the years, but I am so happy to see what a positive effect he has had on so many lives.

Kellogg Graduation 1989. Jim Bloomer, Dan Oliver, Barry Cottle, DJ, and Frank Wierengo

Jim Bloomer

November 7, 2016

St. Dunstan's Finest

Kevin & Patty Gallagher

September 29, 2016

There are no words to express how sorry we are for losing DJ. God must have big plans for this guy! What a joy and delight to be around him. We will cherish the years we knew him and all those fun St. Dunstan's outings! Know that so many in the Dover and St. Dunstan's communities are thinking and praying for all of you. With much love and sadness, Kevin, Patty, Frank, Maggie & Kerry Gallagher

September 22, 2016

Prayers and hugs to his family, and to all who loved him. Dean was the consummate professional and a warm, lovely man.

With sorrow and great respect,
Jackie Charnley

Anthony Dennis, Jr.

September 21, 2016

My prayers go out to the entire Patenaude family that God will comfort, protect and guide those still on their earthly journey and that our Lord Jesus Christ will welcome (has welcomed) Dean into the Kingdom of Heaven where he lives in eternal joy knowing neither suffering nor pain. I am deeply sorry to hear of this tragic and sudden loss.

September 21, 2016

What lovely friends, our deepest condolence. May Almighty God bless and keep the family and friends. (John 17:3)

Bruce and Elyse Balder

September 20, 2016

We were so deeply saddened to hear about DJ's passing. All the flashbacks of the wonderful fessy days came rushing back to me. You both made fessy such a real and fun experience. I hope you find the strength to deal with this horrible tragedy DJ will always be remembered by all of us as such a fun loving guy. He will truly be missed. Try to take comfort in all your memories and may they be a blessing.

All our love,
Bruce and Elyse Balder

Matt Pierce

September 20, 2016

All my condolences to DJs family and friends.
DJ and I started the Run of the Charles event for Keewaydin alumni nearly 15 years ago and his enthusiasm and can-do attitude were contagious. He was a strong paddler and a true gentleman. He was a good friend and I'll miss him.
Our prayers are with you.

Vivi Duke

September 20, 2016

Hi Shelley,
Lester and I are so saddened with DJ's passing. He brought to all of us at the Dedham Club lots of fun laughs and good times. I especially remember his talent on the paddle courts and his loyalty to men's B paddle. We think about you and your children daily. Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.
Love, Vivi and Lester Duke

Carrie Weaver

September 18, 2016

Shelley and DJ were some of our first friends who we met when moving to Chicago. We shared many good times with them and we'll truly miss DJ's kind and generous spirit. Always one for making us laugh, DJ could tell a story like no one else I've met.
We recently got to reconnect with them once they moved back to the Chicago area. DJ you will be greatly missed. I know your big, bold light and lust for life will shine on in your amazing kids. Wishing Shelley and the Patenaude family peace and love.

Seth Shapiro

September 17, 2016

Dear Shelley and the Patenaude Family,

My family's and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time.

DJ was a younger Georgetown football teammate of mine in the early 1980s who inspired me to be the best defensive player I could be, even if that meant putting up with me tackling him too many times in practice.

He was a true, personable leader to me and to all Hoyas and he had a special gift to make people laugh and smile even after a tough loss on the gridiron. He just had that natural ability to pick the team up when we were down and help us respond positively to adversity, even in the heat of battle.

I am sure he is smiling down upon us, as G'd holds a special place in heaven for people like him.

We will really miss him.

Michael McDonnell

September 17, 2016

DJ and I were teammates and good friend at Georgetown. He was handsome, popular, smart and deep in character. He was our Quarterback and captain and a great leader. People forget that he was not only a quarterback but a great punter as well -- we shared a special bond in that I was his long snapper. One of my worst/best memories is playing against Johns Hopkins and accidently snapping the ball over DJ's head, causing DJ to have tio chase down the ball and get mauled by multiple defenders. Not only that, it was one of the plays that caused us to lose the game. As I sat in the cafeteria several hours later, staring at my food and feeling embarassed and ashamed, DJ (the guy who got mauled as a result of my incompetence), leaned over with a big smile on his face and said "You know I still love you, don't you?" And then he cracked up. And so did our other teammates who were sitting with us. And before I knew it, everyone was telling me to "shake it off" and move one. That was DJ -- he always knew how to make someone feel good about themselves and lead by example. I will never forget it.

There were many great times -- upsetting Fordham when I was a sophomore and DJ was a junior, going to the Patenaude home in Glastonbury for an overnight with 3 of the Brothers Ficca when the Hoyas were playing UConn, watching the Hoyas beat Kentucky at the Final Four at his house on P Street -- the best of times. DJ came with me to watch my Dad get sworn in before the Supreme Court -- just the two of us -- because he just wanted to hang out and share a special occasion. He earned his stripes that day, on crutches with pins in his ankle (which set off the metal detector....)

I regret that we did not keep in better touch throughout the years. He was a spectacular human being and I wish the Patenaude family all of the very best at this most difficult time. DJ was truly special and I am confident that he will have a special place in heaven. May he R.I.P.

Michael McDonnell

Kate Dorish

September 17, 2016

Please accept my deepest sympathy for your terrible loss. I pray that almighty God provide peace and strength as you endure this very difficult time. - Philippians 4:13

Jones

September 17, 2016

So terribly sorry to hear about DJ. Sending my condolences to the family. May God give you strength and peace during this difficult time. (Psalm 29:11)

Tom McGarrity

September 17, 2016

Looking back, it seems that DJ just loved life. He thrived on his enthusiasm for life. And so, he created so many wonderful memories for his loved ones to hold onto. His passions and generosities will long be remembered by all those lives that he touched so dearly.

Laura (Carmody) Cumming

September 16, 2016

DJ was a special person; I will always remember his passion for life, his compassion for others, and his grounding in faith and family. We caught up at our Georgetown reunion last year and it was wonderful to see him so happy, successful in life and dedicated and proud of his beautiful family. His life was too short, but it was well lived. My heartfelt condolences to Shelley and their children, to his parents and sisters, and to all his family, friends and colleagues who were fortunate enough to have their lives touched by DJ.

Tom and Beth Ray

September 16, 2016

we were so saddened to hear of the loss of Dean Jr.

dave & chris laidman

September 16, 2016

For those not from Dover, DJ and I organized a competition we named the Dover Quad. The week prior to the event we (16) of us drew names out of a hat to determine the team. Bets were then placed on teams similar to a calcutta in golf. We also bet on each individual event. The following Friday we had a cocktail party and early Saturday morning we began the competition. There were 4 events, all contested the same day. A round robin tennis tournament and alternate golf were always events 3 & 4 but events 1 & 2 changed over the years - swimming, canoe racing, mountain bike racing and obstacle course were the other events. As you can imagine, this took a full day and at the completion we had a steak bbq with our wives followed by the awards ceremony. No surprise to anyone who knew DJ, he was the Master of Ceremonies and he enjoyed every moment in the spotlight.

The competitors (aka The Knights of the Quad) changed over the years as did the events. Over time many of the Knights came up lame or came up with lame excuses and ultimately the event was discontinued. But we had a hell of a run let me tell you.

The Quad had DJ's fingerprints all over it - competition, validation, friendship, team building, honor, shame and most importantly, memories. Those memories are now all the more precious and will be treasured by all of us who where there. We lost a true and honorable Knight and our table will forever be incomplete.

Follow this link to see pictures from the Quad and other events we were able to share with DJ.
https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B0f532ODWYrVkV

Michael mcDonnell

September 16, 2016

DJ and I were good friends and teammates at Georgetown. I regret that we did not keep in good touch -- we were both always busy providing for and loving our families. He was one year ahead of me and I considered him a close friend. There are many great memories -- watching our beloved Hoyas beat Kentucky in the Final Four at his house on P Street. Upsetting Fordham on Kehoe Field in 1984. Traveling to Hartford with 3 of the Brothers Ficca to see the Hoyas beat UConn and staying overnight at Mr. and Mrs. Patenaude's home in Glastonbury -- truly the best of times. He came with me to watch my Dad get sworn in before the Supreme Court -- just the two of us-- he wanted to come (even though he was on crutches with pins in his ankle) simply because he wanted to share a special day with a friend. People forget that he was not only our Quarterback and Captain but an excellent punter as well. We shared a special bond in that I was his long snapper. One special memory that I have is of the time when I accidentally snapped the ball over his head and caused him to get mauled by multiple defenders. Not only that but it was one of the key mistakes that cost us the game. As I sat in the cafeteria several hours later, barely touching my food due to the embarrassment of hurting the team, I can vividly remember DJ (the guy who got mauled) leaning over and saying "You know I still love you...." -- and he went on to make me laugh and feel better. Before I knew it, everyone was following his lead and telling me to shake it off and picking me up. That is who DJ was. A leader and a friend, always knowing when, and how, to be there.

I wish the Patenaude family all of the best at this most difficult time. I will always know DJ as he was at Georgetown -- handsome, smart, and deep in character. I feel lucky for time that we spent together. Truly a special man who I am sure already has a special place in heaven. May he R.I.P.

Michael McDonnell

Drew Schreiber

September 16, 2016

Early my freshman year at Georgetown I was getting on the bus for an away game. As I scanned the scene for an available seat, DJ looks up and says, Hey, you're sitting next to me. I figured it was a simply a shrewd tactical move by an upper classman to sit next to a skinny freshman on a long bus ride. Instead, DJ used this opportunity to get to know new teammate, make a new friend. As most can imagine, the hours flew by in cascade of stories and laughs.

What DJ did that day was not anything grand: engage the new guy, share something of himself, offer friendship. It was an act of kindness and grace I'm certain DJ extended to scores others - each act offered in the same genuine spirit as he did on that bus ride

I'm grateful to have passed through DJ's orbit. I offer a prayer that DJ has been received by God with the same grace and good humor he offered to me and so many others.

David Barnitt

September 16, 2016

So sorry to hear about this. I played ball with DJ and he was a terrific leader and all around great guy. He touched many people with his natural charm. My sincerest condolences to the family. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. May he rest in peace and perpetual light shine upon him.

Aline Bailey

September 16, 2016

My sympathies and sadness upon hearing of your son's passing. What a great loss to all your family. Aline Bailey

Louis, Debra,Alexa and Arianna Fasulo

September 16, 2016

To Allie and her Family,
Our heartfelt condolences to you during this painful time. We offer our prayers and support to you.
May the great times you shared togetherness a family serve as the foundation for healing and provide the road for celebrating his life which will remain with you for ever.

Louis, Debra. Alexa and Arianna Fasulo

Mary Keller-Butler

September 15, 2016

I remember his smile the most. So sorry for your loss. We were once neighbors on Carriage Drive.
- Mary Keller-Butler

Michael Djavaherian

September 15, 2016

Deepest sympathies to the Patenaude family. I knew DJ while we were teammates at Georgetown. He was affable, good natured and was one of those guys who was everyone's friend. A great person and someone who continued on to do great things, including raise a wonderful family. He will be missed by all who knew him.

Andy and Kim Phelan

September 15, 2016

Dear Shelley and Patenaude Family,

Kim and I send all of you our heartfelt condolences in this difficult time.
I had the honor -- it was a pleasure, really -- to know "DJ" as a teammate at Georgetown and, "Dean" years later, as a neighbor in Dover. We had many memorable times. At Georgetown and for years in later life, I always saw DJ as the friendly and engaging guy (gentleman, really), with a big smile and a welcoming nature, who made everyone feel at home. He obviously was that, and much more, to you, his family and, seemingly, also to everyone he met. That is clear from the reflections that have poured in. I cannot imagine a tribute to a man that better demonstrates the wonderful life he lived. He touched so many other lives in such positive ways.

DJ would give me a hard time if I tried to paint him as perfect; he'd insist that I come up with some flaw somewhere--but that I'd better make it funny because, perhaps above all, he liked to make people laugh. And, of course, he's right. There is one thing....

I was on the offensive line, playing guard at Georgetown when he was quarterback. In one game, he got very excited -- for reasons that remained unknown for years (except that Billy Ficca's story above may solve the riddle). Anyway, DJ started calling the signals... confidently... authoritatively (yes, you know the voice). Everything was going as planned, or so it seemed.... I'm sure this is what was going through DJ's head:
"beautiful fall day, crowd cheering, all eyes on me, handsome QB, I've spotted the flaw in the defense ... audibled to capitalize on it... I'll give the crowd a little something to remember...."
The only fleeting intrusions into DJ's mental vision were grunts, louder than usual, coming from one of his linemen (in my defense, it's tough to articulate with a mouthpiece). Ever the optimist, DJ figured it was just excess zeal. When it came time to snap the ball, however, I had nothing to deliver: DJ had lined up over me, rather than the center.

Hoya Saxa DJ. We all miss you.

Bryan Becker

September 15, 2016

My deepest sympathies to Dean's family and many friends. I worked with Dean at Artisan for about five years, and hold a great deal of respect for him. You should know he spoke about his family often, and loved each of you deeply. He was a true leader and a mentor to many. He always worked to champion his team (or coworkers) and put them in a position to succeed. Always giving, never taking. I consider myself lucky to have known him. Dean may have left this earth, but he will live on in our hearts and minds. Please accept my condolences, and take comfort in knowing the world is a better place because of him.

Ned Hentz

September 15, 2016

So glad we were able to play Sankaty Head and Nantucket Golf Club back to back on August 16th and 17th. You hit 17 out of 18 fairways at Sankaty and shot one over par on a windy day with John Hilton, Murray Van De Velde and myself. Then, the next day at Nantucket with Ken Kies you were three over. Really enjoyed being with you, laughing, listening to your stories, our post round cigar, the beer, and the magic show at the Westmoor Club and dinner with you and Shelley that night. It doesn't get any better than that! We will really miss you and I will be particularly sad at the end of the summer when we planned to have our annual golf outing on Nantucket. Great memories. I loved coaching basketball with you in Dover. I will never forget out times together.

Bruce Butler

September 15, 2016

The Butler family( Marilyn, Michele, Kim, and Bruce)extend our deepest sympathies.

September 15, 2016

Dean - you will be sorely missed by the Draytons. Whether it be on the slopes, the golf course, a Christmas dinner, tennis, squash, ping pong, climbing mountains, or just having a good laugh among friends, you approached life with gusto. Big personality, big heart, and most importantly, a very big family man. We send warm thoughts to Shelley, Drew, Jay and Ally. Whit and Cath and the boys.

DJ leading the troops at St George's Hills

Steve Kneeley

September 14, 2016

Our very deepest sympathy to all of Deans family. He was an awesome quaterback at Glastonbury High School,Ct.and an all around great student and friend to our son.
So sorry for your loss. Irene and Lou Preli
Glastonbury, Ct.

Kate Miller Spencer

September 14, 2016

One of my favorite people of all time. Such a big heart, always a kind word, and so important to so many people all while remaining humble and gracious. All of my love to Shelley, Allie and the rest of his family. We've lost a light in this world.

Keith Congdon

September 14, 2016

I played football in the backfield with DJ when he was a sophomore and I was a senior. He was a born leader and a natural and it was a special season of life. My prayers are with the Patenaude family tonight as I just heard this news today. I'm so sorry for your loss and pray that the Lord will comfort you all during this time and give you strength and courage.

Keith Congdon

September 14, 2016

Jay Sidebotham

September 14, 2016

Prayers are with you all. So sad and sorry. What a great guy.

September 14, 2016

My condolences to the family for the
loss of your loved one.
May the love and compassion of God
be with the family and friends,
during and after these difficult times.

September 14, 2016

Our heartfelt sympathies are with are with your families.

Jenny and Bruce Chandler

eileen and david kramer

September 14, 2016

So sorry to hear of your loss- we have great memories of many a piano recital with our families!! Our thoughts are with you and your family.

Caitlin Miosek

September 14, 2016

I worked with Dean for almost 4 years and not a day went by that he didn't make me laugh or teach me something new. He was the best. Much love to Shelley and his kids who he talked about and loved deeply. The World is less of a place now that Dean is gone. He had a way about him - would light up the room and always leave a wake - a positive one that would change you forever and make you want to live larger and more confidently.

Caitlin Miosek

Sara Muckstadt

September 14, 2016

I met DJ when we co-coached our girls 4th grade basketball team. When he showed up to our first practice with a 20 page playbook, I knew I had a competitive giant on my side. Deej, I won't forget your eternal optimism and "go for it" attitude. Love to Shelley, Allie and the entire Patenaude family.

Billy Ficca

September 14, 2016

I played football at GU with DJ, where I was was a year behind him. DJ's smile was a beacon for the entire squad and no one rooted more for the success of his teammates than he did.
Although he was a year ahead of us, DJ made it a point to become very close to the class of '86 guys on the team. It was rare that either Cross, McDonnell, Mullarkey, Halliwell, etc or me were not engaged in some type of belly laugh with him in the locker room or at practice (we were Division 3, non-scholarship after all!). As for myself, being the smallest guy on the team I probably had more heart than talent, and my game appearances were limited to an occasional special teams stint. Midway through sophomore year though, the Hoyas were enjoying a rare blowout win against St. Francis and Coach Gulyas informed me I'd be in the next series. As i ran onto the field I recall wondering if the guys were ready to pack it in and was I even ready to carry the ball for the first time all year. Well, when I got into the huddle, that famous DJ Patenaude smile was on full display. Like a crafty old vet, he licked his fingers and said to the huddle, "Fellas, I've been waiting to call this play for a long time." He then shot me a wink and said "32 dive on 2." As we broke the huddle my confidence soared and I pounded as hard as I could till the whistle. When I got up, I was so elated that I was a little thrown off when DJ called that play again...and again ... and again. Five times in a row. That's what a friend does, and that is what a leader does.
Sorry for going on a little long, but I have to say that in the 30-odd years since that night in Jersey City, I must have retold that story dozens of times. Always with the lick of the fingers like Sonny Jurgensen or Kenny Stabler and the wink that gave me the heart of a lion.
To Shelley, DJ's kids, his parents, sisters and all that loved him, please try and find peace in the thought that while DJ passed far too early, he did not pass quietly.
He left us with the memory of a very powerful smile.

Regards,

Billy Ficca

Mike McQuillan

September 14, 2016

My heartfelt condolences to All! DJ was my B paddle partner for our 18-0-1 championship run at Dedham. I enjoyed every moment on and off the court with DJ! Everyone did and because of that he will be greatly missed. He was the soul/rock of the team! Pretty damn funny also. Miss ya Pards!

September 14, 2016

Dean was a colleague and mentor to me at Brinson Partners. He was always a friend. He will be dearly missed.
-Wally Fikri

Heidi Huhn

September 13, 2016

So sorry to hear of your loss. I went to high school with DJ and though we weren't in the same circles, we were in a lot of classes together. He was always kind and funny to everyone, even when some high school kids weren't very nice. So glad to hear about his full, however short, life. Blessings to you all.

Len Alcorn

September 13, 2016

I am honored to have been his friend. He was truly one of the good guys and I will miss him greatly. My condolences to his family...

September 13, 2016

Dean was a great guy who I had the pleasure of knowing. I worked with Dean for about 5 years at AMG. He was funny, patient, smart and made me feel just as important as anyone else working there. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and peace to his family. Alexa Blanchard