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Peter Diffly Obituary
Peter Franklin Diffly, Jr., 57, of Jersey City, NJ, died Thursday, August 2, 2012.
He was born to the late Pete and Jean Diffly, Sept. 16, 1954 in Selma Alabama. Pete graduated from Selma High School in 1972 and received a BS in Biology/Chemistry from Birmingham Southern College in 1976.
Peter had recently retired from Holly, Wood and Vine, Ltd. of New York City, a landscape architecture company he co-founded in 1991. He was passionate in his work and received many awards and accolades as the company grew to become one of the premiere garden design agencies in the tri-state area.
Peter valiantly battled both AIDS and major depression for years (though he defiantly refused to define himself as a "victim"). His inherent joy and creativity continued to bring inspiration to his partner, Richard, and all his friends and family. He finally succumbed to both diseases and took his life on Thursday, August 2, 2012.
Peter is survived by his loving partner, Richard Cardillo and by his brothers and sisters: Bard Diffly of Cumming, GA, Joan Killian of San Antonio, TX, Leah Hunt of Athens, AL and Hugh Diffly of Jersey City, NJ.
Peter was a voracious reader and an avid outdoorsman. He was vociferous about many social justice issues especially health care reform. He loved traveling and spending time at his country home in Yulan, NY.
The family is requesting that donations be sent to one of Peter's favorite charities, The Treatment Action Group, www.treatmentactiongroup.org.
A memorial service is planned for a later date.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Peter Diffly
Gary and Martín
August 2, 2022
Remembering you, dear Peter. Hard to believe it´s been 10 years since you left us. But you left us with so many warm and loving memories to outweigh the sadness of your departure. Peace to you, amigo, and to the many loves you left behind.
Luke Mancuso
January 2, 2013
i worked with peter at HW&V two years ago as an intern. He was a very nice person and am very sad to hear he has passed away. I hope the best for his family in the future.
Maria Catalan
November 5, 2012
Richard
So sad to hear about Peter. I will cherish my memories of our time spent together those early NY years in the Lower East Side. Peter was wonderful. He was passionate and never hesitated to express his views. Admirable. I loved him for that.
Richard pls accept my deepest sympathies.
Love Maria
Anne Marie Salmeri
October 4, 2012
Richard,
Peter will be missed and I am truly sorry that I had not had the opportunity to see him in so long.
Peace and Love,
Anne Marie Salmeri
Steven Cocoros
September 29, 2012
I am both shocked and saddened by Peter's untimely passing. I truly enjoyed Peter's company. His easy going demeanor, quick intellect and sly sense of humor will all be missed. Peace and prayers to Richard, the Diffly family, and of course, Peter's spirit.
Brenda (lewis) White
September 12, 2012
Richard, family and friends. I knew Pete in high school and the thing you can be most proud of is how inclusive Pete made everyone feel at a time where many felt divided!
kevin nielsen
September 8, 2012
Dear Richard, my heart swells and sinks with this news. I will be eternally grateful to Peter (and Bill) for hiring me and sharing knowledge which would shape my life and career. My fondest memories of him were at our yearly daytrips and dinners when he would let his hair down and show us that charming smile of his. My condolences and I wish you peace.
Vivienne O'Neill
September 6, 2012
Dearest Richard, Losing a love one is all so painful. Rest in Peace Peter. My thoughts and prayers.
Mark Taylor
August 22, 2012
Pete, was a brillant mind and I hate that we never seem to realize how valuable and good a person is until they are gone. Sorry Pete.
Jim Konetsky
August 15, 2012
The results of Peter's work will continue to bring joy into the lives of those who were fortunate enough to have him as their designer and those who inherit that work. Just as the memory of his exceptional personality and spirit will be remembered with great joy by his partner Richard, his family and everyone who knew him. His candle burns brightly!
Patrick Doran
August 14, 2012
Peter was the first designer I worked for that treated me like an equal. I learned a lot working with him on designs. I will value those days learning from a great garden designer that always knew what he wanted. Thank you Peter for all that you taught me. My prayers are with you Richard.
Sallie McFarland
August 12, 2012
Dear Hugh: I am so sorry to hear about Pete Jr. Please know that I am thinking of you. Sincerely, Sallie McFarland
Diane Hambrook-Peterson
August 11, 2012
Dearest Richard, the Diffley family and the Cardillo family,
There are no words to tell you how sorry I am. Peter was so loved, may this help you in the days to come. With much love,
Diane Hambrook Peterson
Becky McFarland
August 11, 2012
Hugh, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Pete. I never got to meet him, but by all accounts he was highly esteemed and respected, with exceptional talent like you. Your family and Richard are in my thoughts and prayers. I miss you Hugh, and think of you often. Becky
Ehab & Hugo
August 11, 2012
Richard
Our deepest condolences. You're always in our thoughts and prayers.
Gary Spanier
August 10, 2012
Dear Sweet Peter,
Thank you for opening your home and heart in the years we knew you and for the joy of spending time together. You touched our lives deeply. For us, every garden will forever be infused with your loving spirit and a promise of renewal.
Peace dear friend, Gary and Martín.
Ronald Kluck
August 9, 2012
RIP Peter. I'm doing a major garden in Manhattan and will plant a specimen tree in your honor. Ron Kluck
Ruth Dagostin Cutcliff
August 9, 2012
Went to high schoool with Pete and have thought of him often in the past few years, wondering what he was doing and how his life had progressed. Will never forget the excitement he displayed on Monday after one of his "hop a train to anywhere weekends" Those were some great times and wonderful lunches when we all brought our home made deserts on Friday. Pete was a wonderfully talented person and will be missed greatly for his loving attitude and thirst for knowledge and adventure. Comfort and strength to all of his loved ones to get through this moment in time. Love and understanding for your loss and I wish you peace my friend
Reed Schwartz
August 9, 2012
Peter, I thank you for letting me know you over the years. Thank you for your brother Hugh whom I have loved so strongly for 27 years. Thank you for your family. You are missed but more importantly, you will always be remembered.
Marie Viljoen
August 8, 2012
Richard, I am so very sorry for your loss. Peter gave me a leg up at Holly, Wood and Vine, years ago. His generosity allowed me to develop my own voice as a designer, there. He was remarkably un-egotistic and collaborative about his work, and had a sense of integrity and a work ethic that set an example for us all.
Ola Bell Morgan
August 8, 2012
Peace, Prayers, and Blessings.
Titus Drenth
August 8, 2012
Richard: We are very sorry about Peter's passing. We want you to know that you are in our thoughts and pray you find the strength to get through this. I (Titus) had 5 wonderful years with Peter at Holly Wood & Vine. I always felt his heart was in the right place. Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed and very dear. Peace and Love.
Titus Drenth & Jay Oostra
August 7, 2012
To Diffly family, my condolences to you all. May the memories of Peter always put a warm smile upon your hearts. May you all know that our Heavenly Father is healing all the brokenhearted ones and is binding up their very spirits...Psalm 147:3 -may he bind up your hearts at this time.
Stacy Hammel
August 7, 2012
I was saddened to hear of Peter's passing. I am hopeful that he has found peace. Richard, my heart goes out to you. You are a truly good man.
Martha Chestnut Hartman
August 7, 2012
I am so saddened to learn of Pete's death. Pete and I were classmates in high school and I have many wonderful memories of our friendship. My deepest sympathy to all who love and miss him.
Jay MacDonald
August 7, 2012
Dear Richard,
My deepest sympathy, prayers and condolences to you and all those who loved Peter. May he now enjoy the peace and comfort that eluded him in this life and may you and all who mourn his loss be comforted by the love and memories you hold in your hearts.
Joe Konicki
August 7, 2012
Thinking of you, Richard, at this difficult time. Peter was a loving and caring person and will be missed by all who knew him.
Tony McLemore
August 6, 2012
Richard & Family: My deepest condolences. I was informed today at the IOP program at JCMC. I took the news very, very hard, of course. Peter and I only knew each other about 3 months but our walks home at 5pm were treasured times where we just tried to support each other and figure out ways to bring closure to our depression episodes. He was such a sensitive and insightful soul. I'll always remember those walks. Someone drove me home today so I wouldn't have to the bear the walk without Peter.
Mike McBride
August 6, 2012
Richard, may your cherished memories along with the support of friends and family see you through this challenging time.
melanie henry
August 6, 2012
My thoughts and prayers are with all of Pete's family and loved ones.
Sincerely, Melanie Boozer Henry
wallace katz
August 6, 2012
Never knew Peter, but heard much about him from my friend Alex Coroneos. These events and these lives remain inexplicable, but to his family and partner my deepest sympathies. Wallace Katz
Christopher Dean
August 6, 2012
I am so sorry for your loss, Richard. Peter was a great and talented man and will be missed.
Tom and Kathy Donohue
August 6, 2012
So sorry for your loss Rich. Pete was a fantastic neighbor and an even better person. Our sympathies go out to you.
steve south
August 6, 2012
Sorry for the loss for The Diffly Family. Pete was a great guy.
Roger Zielinski
August 6, 2012
I am sorry for this tragic loss and I ask for Gods blessing not only for Peter but for all who loved him. Peter was a bright and intelligent and fun to be with. His humor was in simple day to day happenings. I will truly miss him.
Rose Cardillo
August 6, 2012
My thoughts are with you. Wishing you comfort.
John Diffly Carlisle
August 6, 2012
Sorry to learn of Pete's passing. My condolences to Rich and all who loved him.
Pam Gregg (Bunch)
August 5, 2012
Sorry for the loss of Pete,he was a kind person, when we attended and graduated for Selma High School in 1972.He will be missed by all those who knew and loved him.May God be with his family and friends during this time of sorrow.
Dorothy (Dottie) Crowson Gerr
August 5, 2012
Pete was one of my dearest friends in high school and college. He was always adventuring, discovering,imagining, and creating. I so very grateful that he gifted me with his friendship. I trust that he has found peace and healing, and my prayers are with all those who love him and miss him.
Terry Cruthis
August 5, 2012
Peter was best friends with my partner, Henry, in Selma AL.
I have heard many stories from him of the good times they had growing up together.
I met him for the first time and only time, a few years ago.
We were in NYC and we took the train to Brooklyn to have dinner with Peter and Richard. We had an awesome time. From the first time I met him I knew this was a person who I felt I would love to learn more about and get to know closer. Unfortunately, I didnt get the opportunity. Henry received an email from Peter a few weeks ago telling him that he had been going through some rough times. It honestly surprised us both. The first thought to cross my mind was to stay in touch with him more often. Just last week I was thinking to myself that Henry and I should send him a card just to let him know we were thinking about him. Unfortunately, that card never went out. We just received the call yesterday from Richard and we were both heart broken. Peter I am so sorry I didnt get to know you better. Henry spoke very highly of you. We send you our love and our wishes that you finally have found the peace you so deserve. My one wish is that I get a second chance some day to get to know you better and experience all the good things that Henry has with you and all your friends. You will live forever in our memories. We love you and God bless you, Richard and all your families.
Sincerely,
Terry & Henry
Atlanta, GA
Karen Wall Porter
August 5, 2012
Sending love and prayers to the Diffly family, Bard, Joan, Hugh, Leah, and prayers for Richard. Your Selma friends love you all.
Lee Kowarski
August 5, 2012
Words fail to describe my sadness...my thoughts are with Rich, the Diffly family, and everyone else who was touched by Peter
Diane Huff Pitts
August 5, 2012
Our prayers for the families and individuals touched by Pete's passing. I had the honor of attending high school with Pete and benefited from knowing him.
Kathy Kincey-Wood
August 5, 2012
Sending much love and many prayers for this precious family.
Judith Hatton
August 5, 2012
To Bard and your family, I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. I know there will be a place in your hearts for him forever.
Take care.
Mike Estep
August 5, 2012
Pete and I graduated from Selma High 40 years ago. He had a brilliant mind, a big heart, and a keen wit. Peace, love and understanding to all who knew and loved him.
August 5, 2012
Pete, I ache for your presence; I can't, but do understand, and I love you, forever. Joan Diffly Killian
Richard Taylor
August 5, 2012
I knew Pete in growing up in Selma . In fact I know the whole family . The entire family is " as Good as it gets " ,including Pete. I regret not seeing Pete in these many years or having the opportunity to meet his partner Richard. May God bless all who loved Pete as we know he is now at peace.
Andy Robins
August 5, 2012
I knew Pete best while students together at Birmingham Southern College. Pete was an academic leader, well liked and respected by all...a mentor and my friend.
Paul Pierson
August 5, 2012
This much I know is true, the love and comfort Peter now has in the arms of the great mystery he also had in the arms of Richard Cardillo. God bless you, Rich.
Richard Martin
August 5, 2012
Peter was always a gentleman and understood the loyalties of friendship. We enjoyed his talents as a landscape artist both at the gardens he had designed for us at Ronald McDonald House New York and at his beautiful home with Richard in Yulan. Peter we will miss your friendship and pray that you have found the reward of peace that you longed for.
Lovingly,
Morris Gaines and Rick Martin
Randy Harris
August 5, 2012
Even though we have lost touch with one another over the years, I will always remember the fun times we had growing up in Selma, especially our 4-some with you, Henry, Dwight, and myself. God bless you, Pete.
Uncle John
August 4, 2012
Ann loved you much and so did I.Your light will shine forever. Peace.
Nola Sessions
August 4, 2012
To Richard and the Diffly and Cardillo families, may you find peace and comfort during this time. Thinking of you, your friend Nola.
Melanie Henry Schnadelbach
August 4, 2012
I was deeply saddened by the loss of Pete as I know is his family. You are all in my heart.
Carol Hubbard Martin
August 4, 2012
We all love you Pete and may you have Peace.
Rick Henry
August 3, 2012
Losing the ones that we love is so deeply painful. My thoughts are with all of my cousin's family and friends.
Debbie Hicks
August 3, 2012
My love and prayers are with everyone who loved Pete. I loved him too.
Jim Diffly
August 3, 2012
Uncle Pete I will miss you. My heart still loves you. May you rest in peace. God bless. To all our family, my thoughts and prayers are with you all always but especially now. Richard, I love you very much and stay strong. You have a lot of people who care and love you! And Uncle Pete again, I love you and miss you already dearly.
Bard Diffly
August 3, 2012
May you rest in peace, my brother.
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