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RICHARD SPALDING Obituary

SPALDING--Richard Coxe, a lawyer, business executive, and longtime resident of San Francisco, died at home on April 11, 2021. Born in Greenwich, CT in 1950, Mr. Spalding was the third of six children and grew up in a competitive and service-oriented family. Known to his friends and family as Dick, he graduated from Phillips Academy in Andover, MA, and from Harvard College where he was the head of the Porcellian Club. He received his law degree from Columbia Law School where he served on The Law Review. In 1968, on his first night in San Francisco, Dick was brought to the Presbyterian Cotillion, a ball hosted to benefit the hospital and to introduce girls into San Francisco society. There he noticed a classmate from Andover and the girl he was dancing with. True to form, Dick crossed the dance floor and cut in to dance with Helen Martin, the start of a 53-year love affair. From that day on, dancing was one of their most cherished activities. Appreciated for his keen intellect, sense of humor, and forthright nature, Dick worked for 14 years at Brobeck, Phleger & Harrison. He co-founded the law firm's Palo Alto practice, growing the office from two to more than 100 attorneys. Dick specialized in representing venture capital firms and biotechnology companies, including IDEC Pharmaceuticals, Inc., Gen Pro, Inc., and Xoma, Inc., among others. Between 1991 and 1996, Dick was the head of West Coast investment banking for Alex. Brown and Sons and supervised the firm's Japan office. From 1997 to 1999, he was Vice President and the first Chief Financial Officer at Portal Software and oversaw the company's rapid expansion. Dick also served as Chief Financial Officer of Fusion Medical Technologies, Founding Partner of Thomas Weisel Healthcare Venture Partners, and Managing Director at Kearny Venture Partners, a firm he co-founded. He was on the board of Aspire Public Schools where he supported the expansion of charter schools, particularly in the Los Angeles region. Dick's commitment to his professional careers was only matched by his dedication to his family and children. He was kind, invested and loved spending time with his children. Despite working long hours, Dick was often spotted or heard on the sidelines of Charlie's tennis matches, Patrick's basketball games and Nini's soccer games. Aside from cheering for his children on the field, he was their greatest cheerleader off of it. He wanted nothing but their happiness and was always trying to help them achieve it. His grandchildren adored their "Jobu" and the slumber parties, trips to the parks and zoo always capped off with a delicious meal at the Balboa Cafe. Above all else, he will be remembered by his grandchildren as the legend who ate ice cream for breakfast on warm Maine mornings. Beyond his own family, Dick provided counsel to many young people. Whether advising on career changes, romantic entanglements or as a mentor for San Francisco Achievers, Dick was unendingly generous with his time and wisdom. Equally at home in California and the East Coast, Dick loved nearly all games. He was a youthful, graceful, and towering figure on the tennis court, an ardent participant at the San Francisco Golf Club and a champion backgammon player several times over at The Pacific-Union Club. Dick also enjoyed the performing arts, both as a patron and as a participant. His love of song and dance was well-known to his family. He performed memorably as Nathan Detroit in Guys and Dolls at the first-ever Town School show. He sang "You Gotta Have Heart" as part of the quartet in Damn Yankees and played Mayor George Shinn in The Music Man. His most memorable performance was when he learned to sing in Italian Andrea's Bocelli's Con Te Partiro as a surprise for Helen's sixtieth birthday. Dick was a member of The San Francisco Golf Club, The Bohemian Club, The Pacific- Union Club and The Burlingame Country Club. He was known and loved by many friends and neighbors throughout the United States -- from Sun Valley to Palm Beach to Prouts Neck, Maine. They remember him fondly for his endless curiosity, his ability to be truly present and his resonant laugh. He is survived by his wife, Helen Martin Spalding; sons, Charles and Patrick Spalding, daughter, Nini Spalding, daughters-in-law Catherine Spalding and Emilie Spalding, brother, Gerald Spalding; sisters, Elizabeth Spalding Perry and Florence Spalding; and four grandchildren, Wellsley, Richard (Oliver), Paget, and Sawyer Spalding. As a tribute to Dick's life the family would be grateful for gifts to the Frontotemporal Dementia Fund (B1556) at UCSF's Memory and Aging Center, made payable to UCSF Foundation, PO Box 45339, San Francisco, CA 941145-0339 or Elders Consult Foundation, 1633 Bayshore Highway, Suite 245, Burlingame, CA 94010. A service in his memory will be held in the fall.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by New York Times on Apr. 14, 2021.

Memories and Condolences
for RICHARD SPALDING

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Rick Devereux

April 7, 2025

As 15 year olds who had been friends less than a year, Dick invited me to spend August with him in Wianno on the Cape with his father. He invited me tohis home for Thanksgivings with his mother and his 5 siblings, always making me feel a member of his family. That feeling between us never died, as Dick reached to preserve it, inviting my wife and Me to Maine and San Francisco. Athat was but one of the the many gifts he offered, opening me to a world larger than his family, whom I loved. I hold him dear to my heart today, wishing he was still with us. Rick D.

Barnaby Conrad

April 7, 2025

I first met Dick circa 1968 on a tennis court in Palm Beach. FL. His nickname was "Coach". A good man. Still miss him today.

Robert Haymes

April 11, 2022

I am thankful that I had Dick as a childhood friend. I always remember his baseball mitt, how he always kept it well oiled. He was a good baseball player. I want to encourage anyone reading this not to trust in uncertain riches, but in the Living God, who gives us all things richly to enjoy, and to believe in the sacrifice of His Beloved Son Jesus Christ on the Cross for your sins, that through Him you may inherit eternal life and enter into His Glory. God bless all the Spalding family.

Victoria Jarry

December 28, 2021

I was so shocked and sad to hear of Dick´s passing. I worked for him and his family for many years and he was always so kind and always asked how I and my family were doing. Helen and Dick were always so generous and caring and my thoughts and prayers go out to this beautiful family. He did have the greatest laugh . Sending healing hugs to you all Helen and I am heart sick to hear this news. Best to you all

Cenita Fairbanks

October 18, 2021

I am very sorry for your loss ..... will always remember Dick for his boyish charm and cheerfulness. ..... forthright and friendly in manner. Eager !
With love, Cenita

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Nancy and Sandy Robertson

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Kathy Carver

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Robert Haymes

May 6, 2021

I am so sorry to hear of Dick's passing at this time. I was just now trying to reach him on line after a life time of not seeing him. We were childhood friends in Greenwich, CT and went to school together at North Street School and Brunswick School. Dick was a great athlete even back then. I am glad to learn here so much about his life. I hope that he came to know Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. My deepest condolences to his surviving family. God bless you all.

Patrick Kerins

April 29, 2021

Sympathies and best wishes to the Spalding family. Dick was a wonderful guy and a great partner.

Mary Hufty

April 20, 2021

I can still hear his laugh. My heart felt sympathy for the family with this huge loss which is a loss for all of us. So many happy memories of swimming in the ocean, tennis and dancing as teenagers. He is deeply missed.

jim callinan

April 20, 2021

I enjoyed Dick's company at the PU, BCC and playing backgammon with him. I am sorry that he was taken from us at such a young age. I hope that you take solace in that he left us with great memory of him.

Timothy Ferris

April 20, 2021

I counted myself fortunate to have so fine a friend as this good man.

Simone Taylor

April 18, 2021

May God continue to bless you and your family in this time of sorrow. Please except my condolences.

Tina canepa

April 17, 2021

I am a neighbor of Mr. Spalding and I do remember seeing him on occasion over the many years we have lived on the block. My deepest sympathy to his family. May he be at peace. He seemed like a wonderful man. Sincerely, Tina Canepa

Elena Grant

April 15, 2021

Dear Dick was my escort at the SF Cotillion in 1975. I am one of many step brothers and sisters that basically grew up together after my mom, Bren Spalding married Dick’s father Charles Spalding. Dicky was a wonderful conversationalist and I will never forget his great laugh. He cared so much about his family and friends. We will very much miss him.
All my love to you dear Helen.
Elena

Eddie Ty

April 14, 2021

Truly a fine Gentleman...Rest In Peace Mr. Spalding.

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Alison and John Hawkins

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Keith Funston

April 14, 2021

I’m so sad to learn of Dick’s passing and am so thankful that my son’s marriage to Daphne Grayson allowed me to see Dick as the accomplished adult he became. My last sightings of him had been at Greenwich Country Day and Andover. He was a great guy in both periods. Keith Funston

Anne Martin

April 14, 2021

I remember Dick well from my Alex Brown days. I was a young banker and he was a warm, reliable mentor for me and others. He was not afraid to bring his humanity to the workplace and be his authentic self everyday. I do remember his wonderful laugh - smiling now as I remember! RIP

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The Barnaby Conrad family

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Barnaby Conrad III

April 14, 2021

Dickie was a great husband, father, father-in-law, and friend. He was a good listener, but he could always liven up a party. As a friend of 50-plus years, I will miss "Coach" greatly.

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linda mornell

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With our love, Rick and Dana

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Peggy and Tim

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Arthur Rogers

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Kathy Fay

April 13, 2021

I have so many fond memories of Dick it’s hard to pick out one that hasn’t already been mentioned. However one of my favorites was his Chicken song, OMG I could never get enough, he had me in hysterics from the onset with his flapping arms. And of course I adored his temptations “ My Girl” version with my brother at their mutual 25 Wedding Anniversary. What a fabulous incredible man. My heart goes out to his wonderful wife Helen and his adoring children and all of us who loved him so dearly. My prayers and love are with you always and forever. Kathy Fay

Hank Lowenstein

April 13, 2021

Dick was a dear friend, a singing partner at Ocher Point, a golfing partner in Newport and Maine, a trusted friend, and a really wonderful human being. I will miss him terribly, but will rejoice in the terrific times Edith and I had with Dick and Helen.

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