Kandace Ann Bender

1954 - 2024

Kandace Ann Bender
November 25, 1954 - October 12, 2024
She was a first daughter expected to perform as a first son. It toughened her for what was to come.
The years of working an Australian cotton farm. The wild ride of daily newspaper reporting and editing at The San Francisco Examiner. The adventure of being a press secretary for one of San Francisco's most memorable mayors, Willie Brown.
The sharp edges around establishing respect in a male-dominated aviation industry during her years as Chief Marketing and Communications Officer at San Francisco Airport. The many painful injuries of competitive equestrian sports. Her race to complete a book on a little horse that beat the odds, perhaps miraculously.
And the breast cancer that couldn't kill her until the second time around. That day was October 12, 2024, when Kandace Ann Bender, surrounded by her loved ones, slipped away at Sutter Hospital in Santa Rosa, CA.
She was 69 and never made peace with death on her doorstep. She kept the reins in her hands through two years of painful surgery, treatments, consultations and countless medications for disease and side effects. Nothing stopped the cancer.
Upon diagnosis, she was told the average life span of those in her situation was five years. Her cancer killed her in two.
At the end, her delight was her toddler granddaughter, Marlowe Pachtner, and the prospect - unfulfilled - of meeting another granddaughter "on the way." Kandace never met Piper Ann Pachtner, who came into the world two months to the day after Kandace departed.
Those who were with Kandace during her final days - her mother, husband, sister, son, daughter-in-law, and best friend - held her hand, softly sang her favorite songs to her, and wept together.
She is survived by her husband of 40 years, John Pachtner; her mother, Jeane Fuller; son, Nathaniel Pachtner (Kasey Gieschen); granddaughters, Marlowe and Piper Pachtner, and Cora Russell; sister, Hollace Bender (Jackson Haring); best friend, Cheryl Wallace; nephew, Remy Haring; step-daughter Danette Pachtner (Jeff Russell), as well as many, very dear cousins.
Her tenacity, strength, courage, and grit; her undeniable impact on the city of San Francisco; her fierce love for her friends and family - and her pride in being a San Franciscan. This is who Kandace was, and this is who we will remember.
Those wishing to honor her memory may contribute to Redwings Horse Sanctuary in Paso Robles, CA, in her memory, as a gesture to her life-long love for farm animals, especially horses.