Lewis Thomas Tarver Jr.

1928 - 2024

LEWIS THOMAS TARVER, JR.
December 29, 1928 - September 28, 2024
The first sign of imminent death came in Mexico. Lewis Tarver and his youngest son, Clay, had hiked to a hidden beach outside of Zijuatanejo. It was infamous for being not made of sand, but of rocks. Big ones. Each rounded by the surf into large, heavy, eight inch or so ovals. This was a tough hike, but worth it. The beach was truly breathtaking. But on the hot slog back through the jungle, something went wrong. Lewis was suddenly short of breath, panting, sweating profusely. Clay frantically checked him for other signs of heart attack, only to discover the cause. Lewis had stuffed a dozen of these rocks into the pockets of his shorts. Granted, they were very large shorts. But it must've been 40 to 50 pounds. His son wasn't relieved, but furious. Lewis just looked back at him and deadpanned: "You don't understand. I had no choice." You see, he was bringing them back to his wife, Tinka, because they were so beautiful. She had to see them.
That was August 1986. Those rocks still sit in his house today. Lewis Tarver's life -- full of wit, humor, generosity, love, beauty -- went on another 38 years.
Lewis Thomas Tarver, Jr., was born in Dallas, Texas, to Lewis Thomas Tarver, Sr., and Jen Walker Banks Tarver. Jen was 39 at the time. He was her only child, and was therefore considered to be no less than a miracle child. (Lewis readily admitted he was spoiled. We concur.) The family soon moved to Temple, Texas, where he had a virtually idyllic childhood. At Temple High School he became a yell-leader and graduated valedictorian. He was awarded a scholarship of $25 to study at the University of Texas, where he participated in the experimental first year of Plan II. There he focused on humanities and getting his law degree. Lewis then joined the Air Force, was stationed in Pittsburgh, but ultimately landed in his favorite city in the world, San Antonio.
Lewis was hired by Matthews, Nowlin, McFarlane & Barrett, which became Matthews & Branscomb, then eventually Dykema, where he was a partner for a mere 55+ years. He had a sharp legal mind, and spent his entire life providing.
Most importantly, it was in San Antonio that Lewis met Tinka (Catharine) Cocke Tarver. She truly was the love of his life. Sickeningly so. Lewis proposed to Tinka many times. Once she finally relented, they were married for 65 years. It was a bond based on many dimensions: creativity, art, living the life they wanted to lead. Together they entertained like no one else, cooked fabulous meals, surrounded themselves with interesting people and artists, right until her death in 2022.
Besides Tinka, Lewis was obsessed with sports cars, Brooks Brothers, and, of course, jazz music. It was always playing wherever he was. Mabel Mercer, Bobby Short, Bill Evans, Stan Getz. They were the background to his every waking moment.
Again, besides Tinka, art was Lewis's deepest passion. It was personal and profound. A wild abstract expressionist oil painter, he studied under Reggie Rowe for years. He was completely free when painting, fearless in front of a canvas, often channeling the jazz he loved through pigment and gesture. He had his first solo show at the age of 83 and enjoyed the holy hell out of it. Lewis also supported other artists his whole life. He was a founding member of Contemporary Art for San Antonio (aka Blue Star) as well as being critically involved in the creation of San Antonio Museum of Art. He loved every architect and creative thinker he ever met.
Along the way, Lewis and Tinka had three children: Banks, Catharine, and Clay. He was an incredible father to them. Always fun, but also firm. He was highly opinionated, overflowing with "suggestions" and "ideas" on how they "might" live their lives. Some of these were even good. This love of living was shared with each family meal or each trip to Mexico, stuffed into a station wagon heading south.
Lewis wasn't perfect. He couldn't say the word "shrimp." He pronounced it "srrrimp." He had a debilitating fear of ladders. When his latest dog, Bobby Short, pooped in the house, he would just shrug and say, "Oh, well." No, he didn't live his life perfectly, but lived it right, embodying the Spanish verb "to enjoy" -- disfrutar -- to literally "take the fruit of." Lewis took all the fruits of life and ate them whole.
And then there was the humor. It was constant. It was non-stop. Anyone who met him would tell you the same thing: "Damn, that guy was funny."
You see, ultimately, Lewis Tarver was a humanist. He loved humanity. He focused his life on it. There wasn't a person he didn't enjoy meeting or finding out about. He was endlessly curious about people, fearlessly engaging with them, making friends for life or for just a flight. Countless people have told us they felt seen by him. In the end, we all felt seen by him.
As Cole Porter said, "There will never be another you."
We are grateful beyond words to: Dr. Bradley Kayser, dear friend, jazz lover, and middle of the night savior; Betty Gonzales, who took the very best care of Lewis and matched him in wit and sass; Carolina (Kiki) Levrie, with the patience of a saint, the hands of a chef, and the exceptional intelligence to go toe to toe with Lewis every day. Our wonderful caregivers, Rose Cazales, Maricela Cazales, and Brittany Gilbert have our gratitude for life. And of course, our cousin, the inimitable Reverend Randy Peyton, for providing hilarity and margaritas for years upon years.
Lewis adored his six "wunnerful" grandchildren: Walker Walls Tarver, Clay Graves Walls Tarver, Nanette-Rose Walls Tarver, Lewis Thomas Tarver, III, Augie Salant Tarver, and Charlie Banks Tarver. As well as their mothers: Claire Walls and Char Hamer.
Lewis loved Banks's wife Jessica Wynne, who introduced him to his dog, Bobby Short.
As well as his extended family: Bill and Beth Banks, Hanly Banks Callahan and her family, Tom Banks, Sarah Thobae and her children, Carol Thobae Wirth and her family, Kathy Thobae Hodge and her family, Winifred Cocke, Reagan and Stephanie Cocke and their children, Bartlett Cocke and Tina Deikeman and their children, Martha and Scott Wiltamuth and their children, and Patricia McAlpin and her children.
There will be a memorial service scheduled once his children can get their act together. In lieu of flowers, etc., please send a contribution to the Contemporary at Blue Star, 116 Blue Star, San Antonio, TX 78204 or online at contemporarysa.org/give or please give to https://kamalaharris.com/. Or just go grab some rocks at the beach and bring them to someone you love.