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ANTHONY ATENAIDE Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for ANTHONY ATENAIDE
Timothy Jerry Dufour
May 27, 2024
I remember you as Lt Tony Atenaide I served as a radio operator in a Macv unit in Pleiku sector out in Le Trung District Veitnam , W e were both young men , you were a officer and I was just a PFC , you treated me just like we were the same rank , Thank you for your service, I am sorry I could not have found you early so that I could have thanked you before your death, my regards to your family. May God comfort you.
Loretta Nelms Reyes
May 16, 2024
I was just thinking about Judge Atenaide the other day and how appreciated he was for the private bar as a fair judge and about his engaging personality and how down-to-earth and charming he was when he came to speak to us at our AILA get-together when he was retiring, and about much we wished he was still with us.
Thomas Haine
May 16, 2024
Another attorney and I were just speaking of Judge Atenaide this past Monday. I will always remember him as a kind and generous gentle man. His spirit will always remain with me.
Evelyn Alicea-samaniego
May 16, 2023
Tony was a great person. He missed
Craig Markey
May 25, 2020
A friend knows when we are not sure where we are headed. A blessing to have friends who are leaders. So I follow.
A Judges heart could never sleep, so that ours could.
Our Hope: The best of us was in him. And the best of him, remains in us.
Memorial Day, 5-25-2020
MANUEL RIOS
May 16, 2020
I learned after several appearances in his courtroom, that if you were not prepared you might as well get out of Dodge now, before the lead started flying. I worked dutifully on preparation and knowing my case backwards and forwards and then some. I still, however, recall a stray bullet or two buzzing by me every now and then; but always with a smile.
Maria Muzzo
May 16, 2020
Tony was like an uncle to me. He always kept me, Aunt Jo and Uncle Chuck laughing. He lived life vibrantly, sailing, driving the jeep in the canyon, making sure Carol had everything she would need. He still is inspirational, and a mentor. Love to Tony and Carol. I miss you.
Joe Cusumano
May 17, 2019
very nice man
John and Suzanne Bennett
July 1, 2011
Tony was a dear friend but we only knew of his professional achievements secondhand. He never made a fuss over being a judge although the seriousness with which he worked and the respect he held for his position were always evident.
To us, Tony was Carol's husband. Funny, joyful, quirky and passionate about many things...such sweet memories. Tony was a pleasure in our lives...a gentleman. It was an honor to know him.
Terri O'Connell
June 9, 2011
Dearest Carol, I am so very sorry to learn of Tony's death. Please know that you are in all of our prayers. Noel let us know of his passing and we all were shocked. Love to you, Terri Murphy O'Connell
Alan Anzarouth
June 9, 2011
I first met Anthony Atenaide in the early 1980s, soon after he began working with Peter Larrabee, as Tony transitioned from insurance defense to immigration law. He and I were part of the founding members of the San Diego AILA chapter. In a short time, Tony served as chapter chair.
In the five years or so just before he began serving as Immigration Judge (IJ) in San Diego, as sole practitioners, Tony and I maintained separate law offices across the hall from each other in a Mission Valley high-rise. Over that period of time, we often shared our concerns about dozens of troubling cases. What struck me back then was Tony’s absolutely uncompromising honesty and integrity.
When he became an IJ, Tony admirably balanced a practitioner’s point of view with the demands of the esteemed office that he held. In all the years that he sat on the bench, His Honor was never less than fair and open-minded to both the Government and private counsel. He demanded that private counsel vigorously represent the best interests of all respondents, especially those who were detained. He had no patience with attorneys who came to court unprepared to discuss their client’s case. Gradually, over the years, Tony balanced his nervous intensity (that constant twirling of a pencil in one hand) with a sense of humor, always wrestling with the law and the facts as presented to him to reach a fair and just decision in case after case.
I think of you every day, my friend.
June 9, 2011
So sorry to hear of your husband's passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. I wish you peace. Love Joanne Paciorek Wittenborn
Bo O'Reilly Nutt
June 9, 2011
Dear Carol,
I was so sad to hear of Tony's passing. I just read the guest book and the comments made him come alive to me. What a wonderful man! I will be praying for you with all my heart. Peace be with you, friend.
Jeffrey Chase
June 9, 2011
What a great loss. Tony was a wonderful judge, colleague and human being. May his memory always be a comfort and a blessing to all who knew and loved him.
Pat Liverpool
June 8, 2011
Dear Carol,
I was so sorry to hear of your husband's passing and I hope you are holding up OK - I cannot imagine what you're going through but I wish you the best. I loved catching up with you at our Marywood 40th Reunion - what a fun time that was! From reading Tony's obit, it said that he was "recently diagnosed" so I imagine you did not have any clue when we saw each other in 2009. Please know that my thoughts, prayers and heart are with you at this difficult time - you probably have NO idea how many friends are thinking of you now. Good luck and God bless, and I hope to see you in the near future. Please think about coming to our NYC reunion next April.
Much love,
Pat Reilly Gallagher Liverpool
Rex J Ford
June 7, 2011
Peace be to the family of this kind and gentle soul. His kindness to me will always be remembered fondly and never forgotten. Hebrews 13:1-8; Psalm 71:1-6
June 2, 2011
J. MANUEL SANCHEZ
May 31, 2011
OUR CONDOLENCES. I LEARNED MUCH FROM JUDGE ATENAIDE AND HE WILL SURELY BE MISSED.
Maria Muzzo
May 29, 2011
Tony has always been like an uncle to me. We went off-roading with my aunt and uncle, and stopped at their favorite roadside restaurants for lunch. After my uncle's stroke, Tony came over every Sunday to take Chuck golfing. He'd help Chuck get set up in his special golf chair, and put each golf ball on the tee so Chuck could hit it. Tony was always smiling, laughing, and telling stories in his wonderful way that lit up everyone's day. Tony led a passionate life filled with laughter and love, and inspired me to lead my own life the same way. He will always be with me.
Dick and Michele Wold
May 28, 2011
What a wonderful tribute this guest book is to a wonderful man. May these beautiful condolences comfort you, Carol. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Fondly,
evelyn alicea
May 26, 2011
We miss you
Aziz Asmar
May 26, 2011
I made my first court appearance before Judge Atenaide back in 2005 on a problematic case that had a history of serious misrepresentations and was handled by 3 prior attorneys. Tony's first words to me, delivered with his signature piercing stare, was to remind me I was an officer of the Court and as such was expected to deliver nothing but the truth in these proceedings. At the end of the merits hearing, which I lost, I mentioned in my closing that this was my first ever case as a new attorney. In his decision denying the case, Tony would go off record at the conclusion of the decision only to get back on the record to commend me for the great job I had done on the case and personally thank me for my professionalism and honesty. I was happy beyond what words can express, and at that moment I truly understood the meaning of tough love. The case began with a piercing stare and ended with the kindest of words that encouraged me to forge ahead with confidence in my career as an immigration attorney.
They say a man's life should not be measured by the number of years he lives, but by the life in the years he did live. By this measure, and with all the comments submitted by friends and colleagues who knew Tony, I am comforted that he left us having made the best of his life on earth.
Manny Rios
May 25, 2011
I called Sam Khoury, Esq one day many years ago before Tony was a judge and I said I am drowning I need a mentor. Sam said call Tony he will know. So I did and more then once. Tony would say "Manny, you again" I would say yes Tony help me. And he did. He provided help when I needed it.
I pray that you rest and I am grateful that you reached out to me when I was drowning.
LuAnne Evenson
May 25, 2011
I only met Tony, briefly, twice. He seemed very nice and all these lovely tributes confirm that. It's Carol and Molly that I know. Luckily, they are both very strong. They will need their strength and ours to get through this.
Edward Wong
May 25, 2011
condolences to Judge Atenaide's family.
Bashir Ghazialam
May 25, 2011
I remember very vividly the first time I laid eyes on Judge Atenaide and the last time. The first time was when I appeared for a Master Calendar hearing for a client in removal proceedings. The impression he left with me on that occasion was that of a very competent, confident, and down to earth judge with a huge personality which visibly consumed the whole courtroom. The last time I laid eyes on him was when he was saying goodbye at the very recent AILA Chapter meeting which was dedicated to honoring him following his retirement. I made a point in not missing that dinner event because of Judge Atenaide. I was caught a little off guard about his sudden (to me) retirement news and I wanted to make sure I meet Judge Atenaide, the man! And boy was it worth going. Judge Atenaide, the person, finally proved to me that perhaps there was a higher calling for him than just being an immigration judge. As everyone that was at that event will attest to, Judge Atenaide, the comedian, had everyone almost doing billy flops with his unhindered stand-up skills!
He will truly be missed and may his soul rest in peace!
Bashir G.
May 25, 2011
I have known Anthony for over 10 years and I miss him very much. The Law Office of David Landry sends its heartfelt condolence to his family whom I know must miss this wonderful person.
David Landry, Esq.
craig markey
May 24, 2011
So check it out; before "The Bench" got hold of him, many have memories of adventuruos careers at Allstate. Ya, he taught us the ropes as green-pea adjusters and attorneys and was the BEST! Always knew his stuff and shared a rare talent of selfless mentoring. Then, nimble enough to chase a rachet ball around the court, "T" loved smashin the Spalding with Carauna, Baker, others and self (claimant relief). Early morning baiting of hooks at local lakes, a blast! Half day deep sea fishin' still can't be beat! I, like many, hate myself in photos, but, love the one where I'm standing next to "T" and Carauana on a 56 ft. tub outa Sea Forth, been hanging on the wall since 1980. Uncommon modesty re: the challenges of his life and accomplishments. He will certainly be proud to have the light he left burning in all of us shine on. Hurts when the "Great Ones" finish too soon. Ain't he a guy who will make Heaven, even a better place?
May 24, 2011
Judge Atenaide and I resonated on several levels. My proudest moment before him was when he told me my questions on Cross Examination were the exact questions he had. He was as firm with me as he was with anyone else in Immigration Court, but once I understood him I loved the guy. He had a welcomed, unpretentious, no-nonsense, concise approach to his thinking and decisions. He always favored substance over form when he was given that leeway. I practiced before him for 14 1/2 years, four of which were almost exclusively before him and one other Immigration Judge. They were without doubt the best four years of my 30 years as an attorney. He was proud of being the son of an immigrant. He had a right to be proud of his service to America in Vietnam. He had a right to be proud of his service in the San Diego County Sheriff's Reserve Search and Rescue Detail. I am proud to have known him. I miss him very much. Fair winds and following seas, my friend, until we meet on The Other Side. Michael P. Rummel -- ACC/OCC/ICE/DHS -- SND
Douglas Nelson
May 24, 2011
I was fortunate to clerk for Judge Atenaide for one year, to appear before him as a private attorney maybe 100 times, and to see him in the halls of the Columbia Center nearly every week. His smile and positive outlook were infectious. You could not walk away from him without feeling uplifted. I missed him when he retired, and I miss him that much more now he is gone.
Robin Carr
May 23, 2011
Like most of my colleagues, I always liked and respected Judge Atenaide. He could be tough on attorneys who were unprepared, L.A. attorneys and respondents with a bad attitude - but never on somebody who didn't deserve it. We lived in the same neighborhood and, whenever we ran into eachother, Judge Atenaide had a kind word. A few years ago he agreed to preside over a mock trial for my son's 4th grade class - he was great with the kids. I attached some pictures of the event that you might enjoy. Judge Atenaide was a really good man - I'll miss him.
My son, on the right, was one of the prosecutors
Robin Carr
May 23, 2011
Robin Carr
May 23, 2011
Robin Carr
May 23, 2011
Robin Carr
May 23, 2011
Robin Carr
May 23, 2011
Mr. Sprong's 4th Grade class, Tierrasanta Elementary 2007
Robin Carr
May 23, 2011
Judge Atenaide presides over the mock trial of California vs. the Big Bad Wolf
Robin Carr
May 23, 2011
May 23, 2011
We were shocked and we are completely saddened by Tony's death and will keep him and Carol in our prayers. Ken and Cora Bagley and family.
Vera Fry
May 23, 2011
Judge Atenaide had a unique ability to show a wide spectrum of emotion on the bench. He could be quite stern and tough when needed but also very compassionate and understanding. In 1999, he gave this attorney the first scolding of her career when he felt her opposition to a case was unreasonable. And, looking back, it was. I also recall times when he praised the hard work and effort of INS trial attorneys. I will not forget him or the lessons I learned in his court.
May 23, 2011
I had the pleasure of getting to know Tony in the early 1980s, when he and Pete Larrabee were partners. At the time, I was also practicing in the Chamber Building.
A few years ago, Tony twisted my arm and talked me into joining the Convair Sailing Club, where we became "sailing buddies" on a fairly regular basis. Tony was greatly looking forward to more sailing together, following his retirement in January. The next time, and the times thereafter, that I'm out on San Diego Bay, with its outstanding view of the sky-line,Tony will be with me in spirit.
Dan Henry
evelyn alicea
May 23, 2011
Tony
You will be missed by all who loved you. Rest in peace my dear friend. Love Evelyn
May 23, 2011
I was so sad and shocked to read that Tony has passed. My thoughts and sympathies are with his family.
I knew Tony from my years of being part of the Sheriff's Dept Search and Rescue. When I joined he was one of the trainers and you could find him almost always at one of our trainings. Supporting us in the 8-mile hike done before starting the academy and then the final 8-mile hike prior to graduation. And of course always being on searches looking for those that had lost their way. Always professional when on a search, but encouraging and able to bring a smile to everyone's face.
Such a kind, warm and caring man that I know will be missed by many.
Lynn Hopewell
Ramona
Miko Tokuhama-Olsen
May 23, 2011
I had a court case with Judge Atenaide early in my legal career. It was quite memorable, for many reasons. What I note, however, was his impassioned sense of justice and belief in what he thought was right. I will remember him as one of the early advocates to get representation provided for the detained. I will miss him.
Camella Gilmore
May 23, 2011
Judge Atenaide was a great Judge and a dear friend who I had the honor to clerk for at the San Diego Immigration Court. He will be missed by me and many others.
Joe Cusumano
May 22, 2011
He was a wonderful man and good customer at the westgate
barbershop.
Thomas Haine
May 22, 2011
Judge Atenaide was truly a kind, gentle man. I am very sad at his passing. I will always have wonderful vivid memories of his persona on the bench and will miss him.
Loretta Nelms Reyes
May 22, 2011
Judge Atenaide was a great and fair judge and he was authentic - what you saw was what you got. He was someone you could count on to weigh carefully all his decisions. His manner and skill at what he did were greatly appreciated by all the attorneys who appeared before him (and even more after he mellowed a bit after a few years on the bench).
It was obvious was a humanist with a great sense of humor who was often outwardly modest but with a fiery disposition just under the surface. Please believe we are so sad that he has passed.
Judge Atenaide was the first judge I appeared before on my own thirteen years ago and was very patient with me. I appeared many times before him after that. His family should know that Judge Atenaide will be sincerely missed by many, many people and will always be remembered for the great human being everyone knew that he was.
Steve Weiss
May 22, 2011
I knew Tony through SDSAR. We spent many late night hours on searches, weekend training and instructing others. Through it all Tony was one of my closest friends. When I arrived at a search and saw that Tony was there I was immediately happier. Everyone was happier when Tony was around. We would often find ourselves laughing at the stupidest things. He had a great sense of humor. During a search for a missing two year old SDPD took Tony's shoes so they could rule out his footprints (he was first on scene). He never got them back and it became a standing joke between us. In his mind, SDPD owed him a new pair of shoes.
Tony was on searches that most people never even heard about. Like the midnight search in the desert for five year old John, numerous alzheimer patients and special needs people. Tony participated in the Danielle and Jahi searches for sure. Those were headline stories. But the searches that I'm sure he was most proud of were the ones most never heard about. The ones with happier endings. He was a good man. A helpful man. And for six years in SAR, he was my friend.
Carol, you have my deepest sympathies. I will always treasure his memory.
Peter Larrabee
May 22, 2011
My life changed so much for the better with Tony in it. He was a true friend and someone who helped me in so many ways. He was respected by all and his honor and selfless approach to all around him defined his life. I shall miss him deeply and can only offer my sincerest sympathies to you, Carol. God Bless. Pete Larrabee
Joseph Ragusa
May 22, 2011
May 22, 2011
I was shocked and greatly saddened to learn of the recent passing of my friend and former colleague, Anthony Atenaide. No finer person has ever graced the bench at the San Diego U.S. Immigration Court.
As often happens in this life, after retiring earlier from the same court, I eventually lost touch with Tony. It is something that I shall always regret.
Prior to assuming his role as an Immigration Judge, Tony was a practicing attorney before that court. We often met in that venue when my role was that of a prosecuting attorney for the government. Tony was always the consummate professional, while retaining his humanity. He continued that tradition as a judge.
I shall miss our funny conversations over lunch, as well as our professional contacts. I particularly remember our walk across the Brooklyn Bridge during a break from a judge's conference in New York in July of 2001. We were astounded when, as we gazed out at the borough of Brooklyn, we realized that we were both born there, growing up barely five miles from one another at the time. Decades later, fate brought us both to San Diego.
Carol, you have my and Margaret's deepest sympathies for the loss of such a special man.
May 22, 2011
Tony was one of the funniest guys I've ever known. His sense of humor eclipsed that of anyone else in the room. He could make fun of me (as he regularly did) and I loved it. His hospitality was endless as was his list of friends, all of whom cherished him. He loved life - small animals all the way up to we witless human beings, and appreciated the great outdoors as much as a good book or a splendid meal cooked by his life-long partner, friend and wife, Carol. The world is a better place for Tony having been part of it.
Marilyn Stenvall
Janet Muller
May 22, 2011
Such a mensch, the world is a better place for his time on in it, and a little dimmer without him. I have so many memories of this dynamic man who lived life with such passion. Carol, my deepest sympathies. May his memory be for a blessing-Zichrono Livracha.
Catherine Corrado
May 22, 2011
Dearest Carol:
I still cannot believe that your Tony is gone. Tony was a special person and I knew it the minute I was in his presence. My prayers are with you at this difficult time. Love always, Cathy
Sgt Major Ed Komac
May 22, 2011
Tony it was a honor to serve with you in Vietnam. You were an outstanding solider and friend. I tell "Tony" stories to my frineds. You will be missed. I believe if you remember some one they never die. Tony, I will remember you always. In the Army, you never say good bye, you say Take Care. Tony, Take Care
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