Betty Jo Hay

Family-Placed Obituary

Betty Jo Hay Former National Mental Health Association president Betty Jo Hay, whose tireless advocacy for children, education, and mental health issues influenced public policy and inspired a generation of civic volunteers, died at St. Paul Hospital in Dallas, Texas, on Wednesday, February 16, 2005. Born in McAlester, Oklahoma, on June 6, 1931, Betty Jo was the only child of Kathryn and Duncan Peacock. Her family moved to Dallas when she was 12. While attending Sunset High School, she became a skilled debater and developed a keen interest in the political issues of the day. Regard for political affairs deepened following the election of her uncle, future Speaker of the House, Carl Albert, to a congressional seat in 1946. Her attendance at the ceremony in Washington, D.C., when he took the oath of office in 1947 made a lasting impression. After graduating from Sunset with high honors, Betty Jo attended Southern Methodist University where she majored in speech with minors in government, education, and Spanish. She joined the SMU debate club and earned a reputation for winning. A vivacious personality complemented her intellectual ability. One debate team member described the coed as "a blonde bombshell. . . . She was blonde; she was pretty; she had a sparkling personality and great sense of humor." Betty Jo was elected student body secretary and became a member of Mortar Board (a national honor society which recognizes college seniors for distinguished ability and achievement in scholarship, leadership, and service), Zeta Phi Eta (professional fraternity in communication arts and sciences), and Tau Kappa Alpha (national honor society recognizing excellence in journalism and mass communications). While attending college Betty Jo dated fellow debater and future husband, Jess Hay. Besides debate, they shared an interest in politics. Jess and Betty Jo campaigned to elect Henry Wade district attorney in 1950. It was the first of many campaigns on which the two worked together. The couple married in Dallas on August 3, 1951. Betty Jo never had the opportunity to use the teaching certificate she earned after graduating from SMU. The birth of a daughter, Deborah, in 1952 and a husband in law school precluded that. A second daughter, Patricia, was born four years later. "My plans were to teach when I graduated from SMU," she explained years later, "but I married instead and made the decision that the best teaching I could do would be right in my own home with my own children." Her attitude exemplified the value she placed on education and children, and it guided the work she did as a "professional homemaker" and "professional volunteer" throughout her life. Among her numerous activities, family came first. Betty Jo dedicated herself to the role of wife and mother with love, warmth, and commitment. Involvement in her children's lives included volunteer work as a Bluebirds leader, PTA president, and PTA room mother for 13 years in a row. At a personal level, Betty Jo's concern in parenting extended beyond her own children and included as well the close friends of her two daughters. One of those friends, Jo Ellen Pittman Kamen, reflecting on Betty Jo's influence on her own life, stated "Betty Jo was an integral part of my entire life. From my earliest memories of her living next door and giving me the greatest gift of two 'additional sisters' in Patty and Debby, I grew up loving and respecting Betty Jo. She was my 'other mother' and in some ways she was stricter with me than my own mother. She stimulated and challenged me to always do my best. Because I loved her so much, I never wanted to disappoint her in any way. She encouraged me to achieve in every aspect of my life, and even though she was physically tiny she always was a giant in my eyes." Caring for others outside her family was another priority and, literally, an article of faith that Betty Jo expressed through her membership at Ridgewood Park Methodist Church. It was an activist faith that former Ridgewood Park pastor and long-time friend Wallace Chappell describes as less about doctrine and more about "a profound ethical involvement in the lives of people. You served your fellow human beings." Besides teaching Sunday School, she served as president of the Women's Society of Christian Service, Chairman of the Commission on Missions, and advisor for the Methodist Youth Fellowship. In later years Betty Jo and Jess became active members of Highland Park United Methodist Church. Betty Jo was an ardent Democrat. She and her husband actively participated in the political process by supporting state and national candidates. The couple earned a well-deserved reputation for their fundraising prowess. Many prominent civic, political and business leaders, and a host of close friends and relatives, enjoyed the warm hospitality Betty Jo and Jess consistently extended throughout their 53 years of marriage. When her children were older, Betty Jo pursued her interest in education by serving on the Coordinating Board of the Texas College and University System, Council on Postsecondary Accreditation, Association of Higher Education for North Texas, Statewide Task Force on Quality Education at the Baccalaureate Level, National Task Force on Accreditation and the Public Interest, and Accreditation Committee for the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools. Dr. Kenneth Ashworth, who served as Commissioner of Higher Education in Texas during most of Betty Jo's tenure on the Coordinating Board, has offered these comments with respect to Betty Jo's public outreach. "Betty Jo has been a perfect model for public service. And she did it all without pay. Higher education in Texas is the better for her years of service on the state Coordinating Board. As head of our financial affairs committee she would go to bat for the universities and colleges with governors and the legislature when the institutions needed such support, but she had the courage to stand up to those institutions and say "No" when their institutional ambitions were unreasonable. I really liked her judgment and her sense of humor, and marveled at her classy style even under pressure." Closer to home, Betty Jo persuaded her husband to open a model facility for the children of employees at Lomas & Nettleton Financial Corporation, the company Jess Hay led as Chairman and CEO. Called The L&N School, it provided early childhood education for infants through kindergarten. The program included a well-paid professional staff, low student/teacher ratios, a full-time registered nurse, library, and parenting program. Commitment to quality made it one of the outstanding programs in the country and earned the endorsement of the National Association for the Education of Young Children in 1986 when The L&N School became one of 19 programs accredited nationwide. The school was but another reflection of Betty Jo's endless commitment to children. As former Congressman Jim Turner, who served as Chairman of the Texas Commission on Children and Youth (of which Betty Jo was a member) stated, "Betty Jo devoted her lifetime to helping children. Her advocacy, enlightened approach and tireless determination led to policies and programs that brought hope to countless Texas families." But it was Betty Jo's passionate interest in mental health that earned her a national reputation for dynamic leadership. Described by many as the consummate volunteer, she began working for the Mental Health Association of Dallas in 1972. Overcoming the stigma surrounding mental illness proved challenging. Obstacles, however, seemed to energize Betty Jo. It wasn't long before she became one of the organization's most effective advocates. She joined the national board in 1978 and was elected president of the Dallas chapter in 1981 and 1982. She led Texas as president of the state organization in 1983 and 1984. The National Mental Health Ass