Katherine "Kitty" Hickey

1946 - 2025

Katherine Hoy Hickey, known as 'Kitty,' passed away peacefully in her sleep on February 5th, 2025.

Kitty was born on April 9th, 1946, in Kansas City to parents Margaret Shepard and Justin E. Hoy. Her father's job as an executive at Southwestern Bell took Kitty and her five siblings across New Jersey, Texas, Kansas, and Missouri, finally settling them in St. Louis when Kitty was 14.

Kitty graduated from St. Joseph's Academy and Maryville University, both in St. Louis. In 1967 she met Joseph F. Hickey II, and they fell very much in love. Kitty and Joe were married December 27th, 1967 and started their family in 1973 when their son Thomas was born, followed quickly by Emily (1974), Jeannie (1975), and Shep (1977).

As far as moms go, Kitty Hickey set the standard. She had high expectations, and you wanted to meet them. She believed in extroversion, hard work, and using your gifts - but also in self-reflection, friendships, and art. She believed in manners, good grammar, and getting dressed. Most of all, Kitty believed in, and expected, effort.

Kitty and Joe raised their kids in the Central West End neighborhood of St. Louis. Kitty was passionate about the neighborhood and its architecture and history - and all aspects of Forest Park including the St. Louis Municipal Opera Theatre and the St. Louis Art Museum. Along with Joe, Kitty was also a passionate driver of the early development of Forsyth School.

After Joe's death in 1997, Kitty co-founded and ran a successful family advisory firm, Financial Support Services, with Joe's cousin and her dear friend Skip Schumacher. In 2006, Kitty married Phillip Alder of Hobe Sound, FL. Kitty and Phillip enjoyed a very happy 18 year marriage together.

Kitty had so many talents. She played golf and tennis well and was an outstanding athlete. She was a sharp bridge player. She had great taste and sophisticated homes. She loved clothes and knew how to wear them. She was good at sewing and also gardened and cooked and was handy. She did not suffer fools gladly, and lived somewhat above the law with a lifelong disregard for rules and formally designated parking spaces. She loved 'junking' as she called antiquing, and crime shows - from Poirot to Law & Order - with a special place reserved for Murder She Wrote.

Humor was Kitty's soft spot. Her four children's extended conspiracy, outside of wanting to make her proud, was to make Kitty laugh - which she thankfully gave into again and again. Kitty took you seriously. She invested in you, rooted for you, and was a smart and formidable friend. Kitty will be very deeply missed by her friends and family - who will follow strict orders to charge ahead in her spirit!

Kitty is survived by her devoted children Tom (Charlottesville, VA), Emily (Telluride, CO), Jeannie (Ridgewood, NJ), and Shep (St. Louis), her 9 grandchildren, and her beloved siblings Lannon Corley, Justin Hoy, Michaela Purcell, and Greg Hoy. Kitty was predeceased by her husband Joseph F. Hickey II, her sister Tooie Dunlap, and her parents Margaret and Justin Hoy.

Kitty's family would very warmly like to thank the caring and talented doctors and caregivers who so strongly supported her through the last several years of her life. Services will be held on Saturday, February 8th at 1pm at Graham Memorial Chapel at Washington University. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Kitty's name to the St. Louis Art Museum.