James Elliott

James Emerson Elliott, Ph.D.

LAFAYETTE - A Celebration of Jim's Life will be held at 2:00 pm on Friday, June 3, 2011 in the Bastille Room, Student Union, University of Louisiana, Lafayette, for James Emerson Elliott, Ph.D., 83, who passed peacefully from his wife, Kathryn's arms to the arms of God, Sunday, May 29 at Lafayette General Medical Center.

Beloved therapist, James is the originator of Anthetic Therapy and the Founder and Co-Director of Anthetic Psychology Center in Lafayette, Louisiana. He was a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Counselor. He is the author (with his wife Kathryn Elliott) of Disarming Your Inner Critic and contributor to All-in-One Marriage Prep (Suzanne Alexander, Ed.).

James was born May 10, 1928, in Downers Grove, Illinois, the only child of Emerson "Bill" Elliott and Nettie Cranick Elliott. The genius he possessed appeared early in life as he walked before crawling, taught himself to read as a toddler; created a concept for a new military weapon at age 9; and invented a new language at age 11. Toward the end of his life, when asked to choose a word that would capture the essence of who he was, he answered, "Ideas." An autodidact who dropped out of school at age 16, James read voraciously. At age 17, lacking guidance and adrift vocationally, he joined the Navy. At last he had found both structure and a community. He "took boots" at Great Lakes Naval Station, then served as Radioman 3rd Class at Adak , Alaska Naval Base. It was the end of World War II, and he described himself as "happy as a clam in my cute sailor suit." He served a second hitch with the Navy, this time as Radioman on the USS Monterey stationed at Pensacola Naval Air Station.

Following discharge, Jim worked as an editor of a trade magazine and completed his Bachelor's degree in Psychology and Journalism at Wayne State University. While editor, he attended a conference in California and fell in love with the state. Within two years, he had moved to San Francisco, which opened the door to the world that would focus his genius—the personal growth field. In 1964, he began leading groups in Berkeley, San Francisco, and Palo Alto. He became an expert, wrote Personal Growth through Interaction, and traveled throughout the United States, England, and Canada, teaching others how to lead groups. In 1988, at age 60, he obtained his Master's degree in Counseling from California State University, East Bay; then in 1992, his Ph.D. in Psychology from Union Institute Graduate School.

An inveterate scholar, he amassed a huge library of books on psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. As he read, he began to develop a fund of knowledge that would provide the foundation for his life work. He was particularly influenced by the writings of Sigmund Freud and Karen Horney. He searched for a mentor but never found one. Instead, James went on to develop a new school of thought, Anthetics, which comprises Anthetic Psychology, Anthetic Philosophy, Anthetic Spirituality, and Anthetic Therapy. He published his work in professional journals including Journal of Mental Health Counseling and Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy. He presented his ideas at dozens of conferences, including the American Psychological Association, American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists, American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, Louisiana Counseling Association, and Texas Counseling Association, as well as Georgia, California, Florida, and London, England.

A true visionary, James saw what was needed to relieve mental suffering. In doing so, he has carried psychology to the fulfillment of its promise, setting people free from emotional torment and providing a technology for sustaining inner freedom; that is, freedom from the Inner Critic. He published these ideas in his book, Disarming Your Inner Critic (with Kathryn Elliott).

Those who were fortunate to spend time with Jim, whether personally or professionally, came to experience not only a wonderfully genial and loving man, but also the most deeply empathic man we have ever met. Guileless to his core, he was incapable of judgmentalism. Jim longed for deep emotional connection and developed the concept of the High-Voltage Relationship. He taught couples the concepts and skills for handling very deep, intense feelings and for using their relationship for personal growth.

In addition to his work, the other great love of Jim's life was his soul-mate and wife, Kathryn, whom he found when he was 60-years old in his doctoral program after a fifty-year search. They spent the first six months of their relationship 2,000 miles apart and wrote 130 love letters to each other. Colleagues and lovers, they have spent the past 22 years practicing as therapists together, presenting at conferences, traveling, writing, discussing ideas, and living out their own High-Voltage Relationship. For Kathryn, "He was the best husband in the world, attending to my slightest qualm, strengthening me, mentoring me, and loving me as I've never been loved before." They offer a glimpse into their love letters and relationship skills at their website, www.soulmateskills.org. Both a book of their love letters and one on their relationship approach are currently in progress.

Not only has Jim taught us how to live a life of freedom and connection, he has also showed us how to die. Following a debilitating stroke in 2008, Jim spent his last three years bedridden at home. He retained equanimity through it all. He did not let a tracheotomy stop him from singing songs; saying funny, clever things; creating conference presentations; expressing deep love; and encouraging us all.

Jim is survived by his treasured soul-mate, Kathryn Elliott, Ph.D., whom he said, "made it all worthwhile;" beloved son, Keith Elliott and daughter-in-law, Vicki, and his beloved daughter, Carol Elliott Helbling (who devoted months of her life caring for him), along with six grandchildren, Caitlin Elliott, Heather Elliott, Jocelyne Helbling (who loved and cared for him for an entire year), Bryant Helbling, David Helbling, and Allicia Helbling; as well as devoted counselor intern, Misty Hencke and husband Patrick, and devoted friends, Marianne Prejean and Linnette Abshire. In addition, he leaves behind counseling practicum associate, Don O'Day, and a community of people who love Anthetics and practice its way of life.

Jim's family would like to express their deepest gratitude to his loving caregivers, LaRae Kennerson ("our Rock"), who stood by us night and day; Shelly Olivier; Rockelle Kelley; Janelle Allison; April Hadokowitz; Wendy Dupre; and many others. We would also like to thank his home health nurse, Stephanie Ochello and Complete Home Health; and the kindness of PS Homecare. Our special thanks to Jim's caring doctors, Michael Vanderlick, M.D., who saw him through many setbacks and was always respectful and kind; Dr. Lapeyrouse, who treated his final illness; and Dr. John Mickey. Our special thanks to Terry, RN, Lafayette General ICU and their entire medical team as we saw Jim's going forth. We also feel much gratitude to Kathryn's colleagues at UL, who have supported her through these last three years; her students who have been so concerned; and our neighbors who have been so supportive, particularly Randy, who came at a moment's notice to help with Jim, and Cheryl, who took such loving care of our pup, Libby, while we spent long hours in the hospital.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to the Anthetic Psychology Scholarship Fund, PO Box 81097, Lafayette, LA, 70598.