Judith Claire Heder

1939 - 2025

Mystic - Judith Claire Heder of Mystic, passed away at home Jan. 16, 2025. Judy was born in 1939 in Park Ridge, N.J., the daughter of Ida and James DePiero, an Italian mason and contractor. She is predeceased by her brother, Dr. James DePiero, of Woodcliff Lake, N.J. Judy attended Immaculata Junior College of Washington, DC and returned to Park Ridge when her father obtained a third-grade teaching position for her. Shortly thereafter she married Robert Heder of Park Ridge, and the couple relocated to Rochester, N.Y. but settled in Mystic in 1969. Judy stayed home to raise her three children, Catherine, Robert and Patrick, until the youngest began school, whereupon she enrolled in the University of Rhode Island to complete her educational requirements to teach at SB Butler Elementary.

Judy went on to obtain a Master of Arts in Guidance and Counseling from URI, and a Master's Degree in Educational Administration and Supervision from Southern Connecticut State University, with certification in Special Education, all while teaching the fifth grade, cooking a nutritious meal every evening at 5:30 p.m., cleaning the house and the myriad other tasks that a traditional wife and mother of her era accomplished.

Incredibly Judy went on to earn another six-year degree in School Psychology from the University of Connecticut at Storrs and was employed for over 15 years as a School Psychologist for the Groton Public School system. Finally, having convinced her neighbor and co-worker to accompany her on the long drives to New Hampshire, she was awarded a Doctor of Educational Psychology from Nova Southeastern University Fischler School of Education. Dr. Judy was recently described by her former school principal as the best school psychologist: patient and energetic with the children, always gentle, but always in charge and well respected by the parents. Another teacher described her as compassionate and a true professional whose motivation came from the heart. Judy officially retired at the age of 70, after 40 years of labor in education. She continued to work part-time as a substitute psychologist at Norwich Free Academy and other schools for several more years post-retirement.

Judy's family marveled that throughout her life she worked tirelessly to serve her husband, three children, and eight grandchildren, always preparing balanced meals, watching the grandchildren, providing informal counseling to neighbors, parents and friends, maintaining a family pass to the Mystic Seaport, encouraging all her grandchildren to learn to sail, never forgetting a birthday with a generous gift of your choice, and accompanying her family on trips and cruises around the world.

Judith Heder is survived by her daughter, Catherine Heder Lamy of Durham, N.H. and husband Dr. Francis Lamy; her son, Robert Heder, Jr. of Ledyard and his wife Stacy Heder; and her younger son, Patrick Heder of Highland Mills, N.Y. and wife Allison Beyer Heder. As could be expected, Dr. Judy performed IQ tests on all of her offspring and discovered her grandchildren to all be highly intelligent, including: Kristin Lamy Antares, Jennifer Lamy, Rachel Lamy, Nicholas Lamy, Grace Lamy, Sarah Heder, Shane Heder and Miles Heder.

A Catholic funeral Mass will be held at 10 a.m. Jan. 31, 2025, at St. Patrick Church, 32 E. Main Street in Mystic. Afterwards, a short burial for family members only will be conducted at Elm Grove Cemetery of Mystic, where Dr. Judith Heder will be laid to rest next to her late husband. Judy's life will then be celebrated from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Andiamo Italian Restaurant, 247 Greenmanville Avenue in Mystic. All friends, neighbors, educators, community members and family are invited to enjoy a delicious, hearty and hot Italian meal, just as Judy would have wanted you to.