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BORN
1953
DIED
2020
Robert Cary Obituary
A Cathedral High School graduate of 1971, Rob attended UMass, Amherst before he and his wife Marian Balestri served in the Peace Corps in Fiji. In 1986, Rob graduated from UConn School of Law and settled in Stonington to raise their family: a son, Augie and a daughter, Gigi. He returned to Springfield in 2011. Rob's diverse interests included practicing law, serving on Stonington's Board of Education, and working for the Mashantucket Tribal Nation on child neglect and abuse cases. Rob loved to travel and visit historical sites related to music, art, and baseball. He religiously followed the Red Sox and recently took his picture with Carlton Fisk. Rob was a voracious reader. On a particular year, he might decide to read the entire Harvard Universal Classics, the 51-volume anthology of classic works from world literature. Then he would do it.
He was passionate about and proud of his children, nieces, nephews, his family and friends. Rob loved to hear and share stories of their adventures and achievements. He was approaching a decade of sobriety. Over those years he was dedicated to helping others in recovery using his legal experience and other skills. Rob was always willing to lend whatever he had to help a friend in need. As committed as he was to helping others, Rob was unwilling to ask for help with his own struggles. He suffered from physical and mental health issues and experienced financial setbacks. Lately Rob quietly isolated himself from his many friends and relatives.
Rob is survived by his children, August and Georgia; ex-wife Marian Balestri of Rhode Island. He was predeceased by his parents, Robert and Clare Cary. He also leaves behind his siblings, their spouses, and 11 nieces and nephews, Susan (Larry) Wilbraham, Sarah (late husband Jim Yost) of Richmond, Calif., Christopher (Mary-Anne) of Cape Elizabeth, Maine, Peter (Janine) of Cape Elizabeth, Maine, and Stephen (Kelly) of Springfield, Mass. Rob leaves a great sadness in the hearts of his many friends.
A period of visitation will be held for Rob from noon to 1:30 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 2, at Hafey Funeral Home, 494 Belmont Avenue, Springfield, MA, followed by a service at 1:30 p.m. in the funeral home. Burial will be private. www.hafeyfuneralservice.com. In lieu of flowers, remember Rob with a donation to one of the charities important to him: The Southern Poverty Law Center (www.splcenter.org), the Electronic Frontier Foundation (www.eff.org), and the Behavioral Health Network (www. https://www.bhninc.org)
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Robert Cary
Mary Pauly
June 4, 2021
This man saved my life and soul. Really admired his poise and the way he presented himself in front of the judges. He listened to my kids-explained ‘legalese’ so that even the 5 year old understood, and felt heard. He told me it would get better and it did. Unfortunately I did not get the chance to tell him, lost touch and occasionally asked friends how he was, but didn’t find him and let him know. He said it was Marian that taught him the power of words only worked if those words could be understood. He was brilliant and kind, and I’m 18 months too late letting him know.
February 16, 2020
I was a classmate of Rob's at Cathedral High School and we were in many classes together. I remember his sharp wit.
My prayers to his family .
Marianne Bloniarz Beach, CHS'71
kelly Fradet
February 7, 2020
Rob Cary moved next door to me when I was 7 years old while living at 48 Magnolia Terrace. We went to school and skied together. He became one of my best friends. We picked up easily where we left off for a brief time about 6 years ago. My deepest sympathy and prayers to all the Cary family for now and always. I'm so very sorry.
February 6, 2020
Rob Cary moved next door to me when I was 7 years old while living at 48 Magnolia Terrace. We went to school and skied together. He became one of my best friends. We picked up easily where we left off for a brief time about 6 years ago. My deepest sympathy and prayers to all the Cary family for now and always. I'm so very sorry.
Erin Landers
February 4, 2020
I was quite taken aback and just rattled at the news about Rob. He and I worked on a book with Stan Cummings. He was one of the smartest, funniest and most genuine men I know. I will miss the amazing conversations we had about everything and anything. I am so sorry for your deep loss. I have been honored to know such a beautiful human being.
On a side note, Stan Cummings would like to send his condolences. He is an elderly gentleman and lives in Boston with no transportation, but he wanted me to pass along his love.
John C. Valliere, Esq.
February 2, 2020
Saddened and taken aback to read about Rob's passing. Taking comfort in the fact that Rob passed through my life's journey and I experienced his kindness and assistance. Rob was an inspiration in me becoming an attorney. Learned a lot from him as his client and then as an attorney. Fortunate to have known him.
February 2, 2020
We are saddened to learn of the passing of Rob, but grateful for his service to our nation with the Peace Corps in Fiji.
Our Condolences,
The National Peace Corps Association
Janis Mink
February 1, 2020
I remember Rob as a cheerful friend, a man who enjoyed walking a few miles from his house to our Easter Fire for a party, and who, to support the arts, custom ordered an Oxford dress shirt in tie dye. I am very sorry to hear of Rob's passing, and wish I could give him a hug. Heartfelt condolences to his friends and family. Janis Mink
John Collins
February 1, 2020
My condolences to Robs family and friends. It has been my great privilege to call Rob friend.
January 31, 2020
I will miss seeing you on Friday nights. You always had a smile and knew what to say make me laugh when i needed to.God Speed Jim Butler
January 31, 2020
My condolences to Rob's family. I enjoyed working with Rob. I respected him as an attorney and colleague.
Attorney Priscilla Hammond
timothy fitzpatrick
January 31, 2020
A great loss...one of my first friends at age 6. Always reached out to me at my times of distress.
Dan Horgan, Esq
January 31, 2020
A Fine Lawyer and Gentleman. He will be missed.
Heather Mick-Carito
January 30, 2020
I was shocked and deeply saddened to hear of the death of my dear college friend, Rob. So many memorable adventures with Rob and Brian. He had a brilliant mind, a wry sense of humor, a cynical and playful nature. He will always be in my heart. My condolences to the Cary family and all his friends
Kathy Neilsen
January 30, 2020
What a wonderful friend! I will be forever blessed that he was part of my world! I will cherish all that he taught me and will keep him dear in my heart. My condolences to all of his family!
Hooe Adams
January 30, 2020
Prayers go out to the family...may God continue to give you strength
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