BONNIE ANNETTA GRAY

BONNIE ANNETTA GRAY McALLEN - Bonnie Annetta Gray, age 70, passed away peacefully under home hospice care for cancer at 7:49 a.m. on Saturday, August 3, 2013 here in the Rio Grande Valley where she lived most of her years. She is survived by her husband of 50 years, John Gray, her devoted sister Leona Beard Bagby, and her children Jason and Kelly Gray, all to whom she was a lifelong source of unconditional love. Bonnie was born in 1943 in the small town of Cleveland, Mississippi. Here, raised by her parents James and Bonnie Beard, she profoundly embraced what would become her core values of kindness, selflessness, humility, and a habitual good humor. The latter was perhaps her trademark, that she could smile openly with the slightest provocation and her singing laugh was gained with negligible effort whether speaking to friend, family, or stranger. Yet beyond that, even in adolescence she consistently displayed a deep empathy for others and an effortless ability to be that trusted confidant that friends and siblings need. This golden trait made her "easygoing and warm" as a child, and later "the mom everyone wished they had." She moved to Donna, TX as a teenager in 1956, sharing the anxiety of relocation to South Texas with her brothers and sister James Jr., John (Beard), and Leona. She graduated from Donna High School in 1961, an excellent student whose occasional claims of having read "every book in the library" were doubtless true. She met a young man named John (Gray) during those years and they began dating. The two made an apparently odd couple, but after a few years of courtship and kind father's permission, she accepted his nervous marriage proposal at the old Keno's Cafe in Weslaco, TX. They were married in an old-fashioned, low-budget wedding at her mom's house with a reception in the backyard. Though all wedding vows speak notionally of lifelong loyalty, they could not have guessed that evening's modest, open-air ritual would in fact be the beginning of 50 years of matrimony. Bonnie attended what was at the time Pan American College in Edinburg, but ended her college career early, not because of any academic reason but rather that she needed to sacrifice her educational goals and work to support her family due to financial need. She never did complete her degree. Her selflessness was apparent in many aspects of her life, most of all her time working, as not completing her degree was one of her life's few regrets. She continued to work full-time until her health no longer allowed. The better part of her years saw her engage in plentiful and diverse pastimes - Bonnie loved to read first and foremost, her dedication well-evinced by several storage rooms filled to the ceiling with old paperbacks. Her interest in reading later developed into a similar strong affinity for audiobooks as she amassed an imposing collection numbering over 4,000 titles, and many of those she gave audience to more than once. Gardening, oh tireless gardening, was another of her cherished activities, along with sewing, jewelry-making, crossword-solving, art collecting, and cooking. She could name any flowering plant in the space of a second, created years of clever adornments for family and friends, and her home was for some time gallery of Asian figurines and carvings, depictions tranquil and poised, a representation of an ideal in her mind's eye. When it came to food, she was an epicure in the best sense - one unconflicted in the kitchen, one who knew that eating is one of life's daily celebrations and that food for family should be served with love. Bonnie spent many years seeking spiritual experiences and a greater knowledge of the soul. She believed in the possibility of self-realization and a realization of a connection with God. She believed in the reality of dreams and the spiritual insight that could be drawn from them. She also made lifelong friends as she pursued the transcendent in her religion and those devoted friends were with her until the end. In her own loving way, she achieved that transcendence here by personifying divine traits of selflessness and kindness each day and now leaving the lingering gift of her cheerful example. Her spirit will continue to uplift all who knew her, for every singsong laugh heard henceforth shall contain a note or two of her warmth in its melody. Her final arrangements are being handled by Kreidler Funeral Home in McAllen. As she wished, there will not be any public ceremony associated with her passing. Donations for cancer research in her memory to the American Cancer Society, 5413 S. McColl Rd., Edinburg, TX 78539 are encouraged by the family. Kreidlerfuneralhome.com Sign the guest book at www.themonitor.com/obituaries