Tonia Jo Harris

1940 - 2025

Tonia Jo Harris, of Windsor Circle, Elkhart, left this life on November 8, 2025 after a short battle with cancer. She passed away at home where she had been in hospice care following her decision to discontinue treatment. Instead, Jo chose to walk a path that put the power to determine how she spent her final days firmly in her own hands. The only concern she expressed in this choice was that someone might think she was quitting or giving up. In fact, it is impossible for most of us to imagine any more courageous – or more difficult – decision to make than the one you know means saying goodbye to all of those you love on this planet.
In what was a very confusing thing for her kids when they were young, her first name would vary by where she was, who she was with or how old she might be. To her husband and kids and everyone in Culver, she was "Jo." But when she was in Elkhart – or with members of the Nelson family – she might be "Tonna" or maybe "Tonna Jo," but never "Tonia." That was only for doctors, the IRS and anyone with forms in hand. But what is not in dispute is that Tonia Jo Harris was born- and would eventually be the ninth of ten children- in Elkhart, Indiana, on March 4, 1940, to Blanche H. (Veatch) and Raymond A. Nelson. She was predeceased by her husband, William (Bill) Richard Harris of Kewanna, IN. She is survived by her sons Ronald William Harris (Marjorie Rhine) of Madison, WI and Christopher Shaun Harris (Wendy O'Brien) of Champaign, IL; sisters Marilyne Mann and Grace (Peg) Shaum, of Elkhart; her brother-in-law Ronnie Hamman of Kewanna, IN; and her granddaughter Mathilda Harris (Joshua Wilke) of Tacoma, WA, along with approximately 1,372 nephews and nieces of varying degrees, each of whom she knew by name.
Jo grew up in Elkhart, leaving to attend Ball State Teachers College in pursuit of a teaching degree. She wouldn't leave with that degree, but she would meet and leave with Bill Harris who was also looking to become a teacher. It was Bill's student-teaching assignment that took them back to Elkhart, where he lived with Jo's parents to save money. Apparently, Raymond and Blanche approved as Jo and Bill were married on August 26, 1962. They remained in Elkhart where Bill got his first teaching job.
It was also in Elkhart, on June 22, 1963, when Jo and Bill introduced their first child, Ron. Shortly after that, they relocated to Culver, IN, where they would spend most of their adult lives together. Jo was vague as to whether the move out of Elkhart was due to Ron's behavior or Bill's job offer, but it is an interesting coincidence and a lasting family mystery.
But he must have turned out OK, as after a five-year trial period, they gave it another shot with the birth of their younger son, Chris, on September 30, 1968. For the next 25 years or so, Jo's life would be taken over by an endless string of baseball, football and basketball games, band concerts, school plays, bake sales, church youth groups and all of the surprises that come with raising two boys who- despite getting older every year- were adept at demonstrating immaturity far beyond their respective ages. But despite plenty of reasons to the contrary, Jo and Bill were always there for their kids, and they made sure Ron and Chris started their own adult lives with all of the amazing opportunities and advantages that only an education could provide.
Unfortunately, just when both boys were finally off the "family payroll," and Jo and Bill finally had the chance to start the next phase of their lives together, Bill was diagnosed with lung cancer and would pass away on August 26, 1993. From that point on, Jo charted a course through her life that would see her grow to be fiercely independent and pretty much fearless. She retired, sold her house and left Culver to move to South Bend to fulfill her longtime desire to live in a real city in a condominium (no, really, that's absolutely a true story). She made regular solo trips to Mexico, Hawaii and Florida. She cruised down the Rhone River in France and visited the Eiffel Tower. An active member of the United Methodist Church for decades, she frequently ended up chastising her various church-homes for their failures to live up to their responsibilities of charity and service to members of their own communities who needed help. She was a regular caller to public health officials during COVID-19 to express her frustration that their failures to follow state and federal guidelines were putting her friends, family and neighbors at risk.
But most of all, Jo spent the 33 years after Bill's death enjoying her life among her siblings, nieces and nephews. From RV trips to Nashville to weddings in California to winter stays in Florida and the annual summer "Nelson Girls Weekend" to daily calls or visits with Peg and Marilyne, Elkhart was truly her home in both her address and in her heart.
The diagnosis of advanced, aggressive and terminal cancer was sudden, shocking and difficult news. But in all honesty, coming to terms with it was a lot harder for Jo's kids than it was for her. Jo's unflinching, fearless acceptance of the diagnosis, combined with her quiet, patient grace in moving forward was a tremendous help to Ron and Chris, and they both know it was a very rare and special final gift from their mom.
When Jo made the decision to move back to Elkhart, it was because she wanted to be closer to her sisters, nieces and nephews. It was a decision she never regretted for a moment. And the care and support those family members showed to Jo in the last few weeks made her passing easier, brought her much-needed moments of joy and demonstrated exactly what it was that had called her back home to Elkhart. The Nelsons and their many branches are a very special family. Tonia Jo Harris was proud, happy and grateful to be among them for nearly 86 years. Her only true regret was that she didn't get to spend more time with every single one of them.
A celebration of Jo's life will be held on Friday, November 14, 2025 at Thompson-Lengacher & Yoder Funeral home in Nappanee. There will be a visitation from 11-12 pm, followed immediately by a memorial service at 12:30.
Jo's family asks that contributions in Jo's honor are made to the Council on Aging of Elkhart County (https://www.elkhartcoa.org/donate) in lieu of flowers. Messages, memories and kind wishes are very much welcomed by Ron and Chris, and can be shared at csharrisillinois@gmail.com.