Search by Name

Search by Name

Mary Grail O'Connor

Mary Grail O'Connor obituary, Manchester, NH

FUNERAL HOME

Phaneuf Funeral Homes & Crematorium - Hanover Street

243 Hanover Street

Manchester, New Hampshire

UPCOMING SERVICE

Memorial Gathering

Oct. 17, 2025

9:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.

St. Pius X Church

Send Flowers

Mary O'Connor Obituary

Mary Grail O'Connor, 85, passed away peacefully in her sleep on October 10, 2025 at Villa Crest Nursing Home after a long period of failing health. Grail was born in Manchester, New Hampshire on April 5, 1940 to Michael and Mary (Healy) O'Connor and she was a lifelong resident of the Queen City. She graduated from OLPH Grammar School in 1954 and from St. Joseph High School for Girls in 1958. Grail continued her education at Boston College and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in 1962. She also received a master's degree in Counseling & Guidance from the University of New Hampshire.

Early in her professional career, Grail taught English at Memorial High School, but for most of her years at Memorial, she was a well-respected guidance counselor who worked vigorously for the rights of each student. She spent many years as a building representative for the Manchester Education Association, and she was a larger-than-life advocate for initiating girls' sports opportunities and extremely influential in helping pass Title IX. In 1999, after 37 years of dedication to education in Manchester, Grail retired.

Grail loved to travel. One of her favorite trips was a summertime cross country trip with some fellow teachers. Learning to put up a tent was a bit of a chore, but by the time the group reached California, they could set up a tent in record time! She was a lifelong adventurer who found great joy in her travels to the Virgin Islands, England, Scotland, Italy, Spain, Denmark, Australia, New Zealand, and Florida. Her travels also included several trips across the pond to Ireland, where she was lucky to visit "the family homestead" and meet several members of her grandmother's family. The beach was Grail's happy place, and she spent as much time as possible every summer on N Street in Happy Hampton, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the beauty of the ocean at the HOM apartment complex that she owned with her good friends Paul and Marilyn Houghton and Judy McCarthy-Martin. While at the beach, Grail was constantly on the lookout for the best breakfast spot and the sweetest lobster shack.

A great lover of tennis, Grail was one of the original members of the Algonquin Tennis Club. She was an aggressive tennis player with a strong serve followed by a race to the net, surprising her opponents. Grail tried golf but found it too slow. She preferred to race from shot to shot rather than the traditional stroll along.

Although Grail possessed the stubbornness of a true Irishman, she was a woman of strong relationships. Grail honored integrity, friendship, and kindness and loved her Catholic faith. It would be hard to forget her dynamic personality, especially when discussing politics. Whether family, friend or student, all who knew her have a "Grail Tale" to share. She will be sorely missed.

Grail is predeceased by her parents; her brothers Francis, Brendan and John O'Connor; and her sister-in-law Geraldine. She is survived by her nephews Michael O'Connor (Sandra Ryan) and Joseph O'Connor (Karen); her nieces Kathleen Jaworski (Peter) and Maureen O'Connor (Lee LeBlanc); and her great nieces Meghan, Kathryn, Jillian, Elizabeth and Emily. She also leaves behind her long-time friends Irene Cronin, Julie Dempsey, her cousin Mary Panarese (Joe), and her "favorite cousin" Christopher Panarese.

Grail's family and friends wish to express their gratitude to the many friends who so generously visited Grail and accompanied her to appointments throughout the years, especially Genevieve Soares, Judy Devine, Mary and Joe Panarese, Megan Roukey, and Elise Roy.

Assisting the family with arrangements is Phaneuf Funeral Home, Manchester. Calling hours will be at St. Pius X Church, Candia Road, on Friday, October 17, from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. A memorial Mass of Christian Burial, also at St. Pius X Church, will be held at 10 a.m. Interment will follow the mass at the O'Connor family plot at Saint Joseph Cemetery.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Catholic Charities of New Hampshire, P.O. Box 9510, Manchester, NH 03108-9510.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by Union Leader on Oct. 15, 2025.

Memorial Events
for Mary O'Connor

Oct

17

Memorial Gathering

9:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.

St. Pius X Church

575 Candia Rd, Manchester, NH 03109

Oct

17

Service

10:00 a.m.

St. Pius X Church

575 Candia Rd, Manchester, NH 03109

Oct

17

Graveside service

11:30 a.m.

St. Joseph Cemetery

448 Donald St, Bedford, NH 03110

Funeral services provided by:

Phaneuf Funeral Homes & Crematorium - Hanover Street

243 Hanover Street, Manchester, NH 03104

Memories and Condolences
for Mary O'Connor

Not sure what to say?





4 Entries

Eileen Brady, Sisters of Mercy

Yesterday

Whenever I saw Grail, she would say, "Sister Eileen, when are going to get a real job?". Fantastic person, who helped my family members as a guidance counselor, raised stubbornness to a high art, and cherished her friends. No one believes I shared a tennis court with her (just once). Condolences to all the faithful family and friends who made it possible for Grail to be Grail.

Roxanne " Roxie " Lewis

Yesterday

Many of fond memories of playing in tennis tournaments with and against you back in the 70's & 80's. I still have an engraved silver platter from when Grail & I came in 2nd place of women's doubles at the Cedardale Tennis Club in Haverhill MA. From being of MMHS Class of 75' of passing her in the hallways & we'd both say " hey partner, how's your backhand today? Still working on it! " And her snack of choice at the New Hampton School State tennis tournament of sardines on saltine crackers in between matches! Lots of fun times too at the Algonquin Indoor Tennis Club. Always joyful to play with and against when I played mixed doubles with my Dad Gary Lewis and she played with Red Gagnon. Well, tomorrow Oct. 16th is Dad's heavenly 91st birthday and I already sent a prayer up above to him and advised him that you were on the way God speed and you can now play many mixed doubles matches with him - also your old childhood long time friend from the eastside neighborhood. Enjoy up above & be sure to have a whoopie pie with him! Rest well Grail.

Cheryl A Davie

Yesterday

So sorry for the loss, a great councilor at memorial . I graduated 1975. RIP

Mike Broutzos

October 14, 2025

My favorite Guidance Counselor way back at Memorial High School 1969-1972. Always gave me a pass during study to go see you and we would talk forever! My favorite! I saw you a few years ago playing tennis at Derryfield Park and had to go over and say Hi! You always had that Smile! RIP

Showing 1 - 4 of 4 results

Make a Donation
in Mary O'Connor's name

How to support Mary's loved ones
Honor a beloved veteran with a special tribute of ‘Taps’ at the National WWI Memorial in Washington, D.C.

The nightly ceremony in Washington, D.C. will be dedicated in honor of your loved one on the day of your choosing.

Read more
Attending a Funeral: What to Know

You have funeral questions, we have answers.

Read more
Should I Send Sympathy Flowers?

What kind of arrangement is appropriate, where should you send it, and when should you send an alternative?

Read more
What Should I Write in a Sympathy Card?

We'll help you find the right words to comfort your family member or loved one during this difficult time.

Read more
Resources to help you cope with loss
How to Cope With Grief

Information and advice to help you cope with the death of someone important to you.

Read more
Estate Settlement Guide

If you’re in charge of handling the affairs for a recently deceased loved one, this guide offers a helpful checklist.

Read more
How to Write an Obituary

Need help writing an obituary? Here's a step-by-step guide...

Read more
Obituaries, grief & privacy: Legacy’s news editor on NPR podcast

Legacy's Linnea Crowther discusses how families talk about causes of death in the obituaries they write.

Read more
Ways to honor Mary O'Connor's life and legacy
Obituary Examples

You may find these well-written obituary examples helpful as you write about your own family.

Read more
How to Write an Obituary

Need help writing an obituary? Here's a step-by-step guide...

Read more
Obituary Templates – Customizable Examples and Samples

These free blank templates make writing an obituary faster and easier.

Read more
How Do I Write a Eulogy?

Some basic help and starters when you have to write a tribute to someone you love.

Read more