Adaire King Obituary

KING ADAIRE J. KING On Tuesday, January 15, 2008 at Suburban Hospital, Bethesda, MD. She was the daughter of the late Zola J. Barber and the late Albert W. Barber. Beloved wife of 65 years to the late Robert D. King, Jr.; loving mother of Robert D. King, III (Donna), Chris King Spates (Mike) and John A. King (Jan); cherished Nana to Donna King (Ron), Jodie Lawton (Hal), Laura Carlson (Dan), Katie Spates, Daniel, Erin and Hayley King; great-Nana of Parker, Grayson and Avery King, Harrison and Renee Lawton and Michael Carlson. In addition to being a devoted mother to her sons and daughter, Dairsie was a loving sister to Rosalind Wood and the late Gloria Gibbs; sister-in-law to David A. Wood and the late Henry F. Gibbs, Col. U.S. Army (Ret.). She was also a loving aunt to her many nieces and nephews, Gwen Wood, Sharon Greene (Steve) and their children, Michael and Melissa, Dave Wood (Lisa) and their children, Audrey, Claire and Emily; Angela Johnston and her children, Scott, Kristen and Julie and the late Henry F. Gibbs, Jr. She also leaves behind Marty Collicott (Bob), her beloved friends for over 50 years. Beloved caretaker of Maggie-Moo and many other loving companions that have crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Adaire enjoyed so many wonderful years with her husband Bob, her lifelong soulmate and friend. Adaire and her sister “Rosie” had 86 years of a special bond of friendship, love and devotion to each other. She had so many happy, joyous occasions with her family. She cherished her dear husband Bob and her entire family, and they cherished her. Friends will be received on Saturday, January 19, 2008 from 3 to 5 p.m. at PUMPHREY‘S BETHESDA-CHEVY CHASE FUNERAL HOME, 7557 Wisconsin Avenue, Bethesda, MD 20814. A service will be held on Sunday, January 20, 2008, 2 p.m. at All Saint‘s Episcopal Church, 3 Chevy Chase Circle, Chevy Chase, MD 20815. Donations may be made to the SPCA International, 2121 K Street, NW, Suite 650, Washington, DC 20037. Please view and sign the family guestbook at: www.pumphreyfuneralhome.com .

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by The Washington Post on Jan. 18, 2008.

Memories and Condolences
for Adaire King

5 Entries

jack wood

January 22, 2008

Dear Mommy,

I miss you so much. But I know you're waiting for me across the Rainbow Bridge when it is my time to cross. It will be joyous when I see you and my CenterFielder.

We will take care of Maggie Moo, I promise...she will be with your family.

LoveU always & forever

CrackerJack

Gwen Wood

January 22, 2008

IN CELEBRATION OF THE LIFE OF ADAIRE JEANNETTE KING
Eulogy: All Saints’ Episcopal Church, Chevy Chase, Maryland
January 20, 2008

On behalf of my Mom, Rosalind Wood, Adaire’s sister, and the entire family of Adaire King, thank you for being here with us to honor her long and wonderful life---a long life and a life lived well. And a special thank you to you Dr. Zahl for conducting this beautiful service here at All Saints’ Church, the Church where her older sister Gloria Gibbs was an active member for decades, and the Church where Adaire’s youngest son John was baptized.

On learning of the passing of dear Dairsie, my longest dear friend Sarah – a friend of 42 years who loves both my Mom and Dairsie said to me the other night:

“Certain people who leave this earth mark the end of an era….like Dairsie and your Mom.”

Today we are celebrating the life of our dear Dairsie----daughter, sister, wife, mother, aunt, grandmother, great aunt, great-great aunt, great-great grandmother and friend. Fortunately for me and for all of our large and wonderful family, my Mom is here today with us.

Thank you Bob and John for taking such good care of your parents, helping them during the many years of failing health particularly of your Dad. Our special Chris, thank you for keeping your Mom alive for all of us over these past 15 months following the death of your Dad. You took care of her mentally, physically and spiritually. You helped her finish her work on this earth to love, laugh and be loved by those of us living in the Washington area so she could leave all of us with a song in her heart to be with her dear husband Bob. Because of you Chris, and Sharon and you Mom, she had a ball….laughing, loving and being part of the family here.

Most of all, thank you Dairsie for finding the strength to live on with your broken heart for these past 15 months to give my Mom, Chris, Mike, Laura, Dan, Katie, Michael, Sharon, Steve, Michael, Melissa, Dave, Lisa, Audrey, Claire, Emily and me your love, your dedication, your family stories and many laughs. For that we will be forever grateful.

To me, Dairsie has and always will be a star and my hero. A bright, shiny brilliant star of five points that, at the break of day is the “morning star” and in the evening the star of guidance.

First Star Point: Adaire the Daughter

When you wish upon a star…makes no difference who you are...when you wish upon a star your dreams come true….

Born in Baltimore Maryland on August 23, 1919, the second of three daughters, Adaire came into the world described in the words of her mother as “Sweet Bonnie Adaire.” Adaire was always happy, never “down for long” and enjoyed every minute in every way that life on this beautiful earth created by God could offer. Adaire loved and admired her parents. She loved and admired her sisters, Gloria (or Juny as we call her) and her baby sister, my Mom.

Because of her father’s job at ESSO Oil, and his desire to move up the corporate ladder, the family at that time, her parents, Adaire and my Mom moved every two years to cities such as:

Baltimore Maryland (where the family began)
Rochester New York
Charlestown, West Virginia
Newark, New Jersey
Back to Baltimore
White Plains New York
Garden City New York
Silver Spring Maryland

Adaire adored her parents, and they adored her. When her mother, who died at aged 97, was in the sunset of her own life, Adaire, by then a business woman in her own right and her mother then in nursing care the last 2 years of her life, at the end of each work day Dairsie would drive to the nursing home and would literally feed her mother the dinner which she had prepared the day before.

Second Star Point: Adaire the Sister

Star Light, Star Bright, I wish I may, I wish I might, I wish I’ll get my wish tonight.

The second point of the bright star of Adaire is Adaire the sister. She and her older sister Juny were born 11 years apart. Adaire was the middle child, and my Mom the “baby of the family” were born 25 months apart. Forever sisters, forever friends, forever devoted to each other and each other’s children, including Juny’s two beautiful children: Henry Jr., described by Dairsie as the most beautiful little boy, and Angie, always described by Dairsie as beautiful, charming, smart, generous, loving and fun.

Adaire and my Mom look like twins…still…. . At 25 months apart, they laughed together, they cried together. Together they skated, they drew, they danced, they jumped across train car roofs together, they double-dated, they cleaned the house when they moved out, they cleaned the new house they moved into. They babysat their nephew Henry, together every summer for years. They married 3 years apart, they each had 3 children, they had dogs, they had cats, they met for lunch every Wednesday, and they shopped together for the most amazing Christmas presents.

My Mom told me recently that when they were in Junior High School they would “switch identities” to fool the teachers upon arrival at a new school. My Mom told me they did this at the beginning of a new school term, confusing the teachers, requiring the teachers to scramble to check the records and straighten out the situation --- their nutty way of managing a difficult situation of constantly changing schools with hilarity.

Both ended up “going to the Principle’s Office”. This happened on numerous occasions, the “Barber sisters” with Dairsie as the strategist.

The “sister switches” didn’t stop there. On numerous occasions during their junior high school years they would hatch another plot. Dairsie wanted Mom to take some of her tests for her. Like Mom, Dairsie is very smart; but unlike Mom she sometimes didn’t feel like studying. So, on the day of the test, they would wear an outfit of the other’s (picked out the night before); switch desks, and Mom would take Adaire’s test. Mom didn’t say this, but I’m sure Mom scored an “A” for her sister. No one found out about this plot; they were never caught.

Juny the first born sister, like all of the sisters, had a big heart, a warm spirit, zest for life, and generosity to her family. When she passed on 9 years ago, she left her personal and most meaningful effects, including her gorgeous jewelry, photographs and beautiful paintings to her beloved daughter, Angie. The remainder of Juny’s Estate was left for Adaire and my Mom. Because of Juny’s generosity, Adaire lived comfortably, well and healthy. The same is true of my own Mom. Even so, when Juny died and every year thereafter, Dairsie told me she felt so alone… “Because with Juny alive I always knew I had someone who would take care of me.”

Finally, regarding the “sister point”, Dairsie changed her name to “Sandy” when she was in junior high school. My Mom told me Dairsie did that because she hated her name. Dairsie signed her school papers “Sandy Barber.” She made the teachers mad; she got “in trouble.” One of the teachers stomped up to Dairsie and asked her “Who are you?” Dairsie answered “Sandy.” The teacher replied “that’s not what it says here in my records!!! Adaire replied “Well that’s what it is now.” Unstoppable, again and again Dairsie was Sandy until High School, when, just like Adaire, she decided to forget about it….”who cares?”

Star Point 3: Adaire the Adoring and Adored Wife

Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars, you are all I ask for all I worship and adore…in other words hold me tight; in other words baby kiss me.

The 3rd point of the star is that of wife. Adaire got her wish. She met and married the most wonderful man on the earth, Bob King Jr. She and our beloved Buddy, Bob, Dad, Uncle Bob, the CenterFielder, Uncle Daddy and Granddaddy had the most endearing, loving and enduring marriage. Her beloved husband Bob passed away approximately 3 weeks short of their 65th wedding anniversary. While living in North Carolina his passing was only 15 months ago after a long and debilitating illness.

Dairsie met Bob through a girlfriend. Bob was her girlfriend’s younger brother. They met, they dated, they loved and they laughed.

When Dairsie was working at a local department store on Long Island during Christmas break from college; Bob would patiently wait outside in the cold for her to get off work. He stayed outside because he loved her and wanted to be with her. He did not go in the store because he didn’t want her to get into trouble with the management. There stood Bob, waiting for hours until she got off work. When she did get off work, off they went together for another fabulous evening.

In November, 1941 a little over a year after they met, Dairsie & Bob were married in a beautiful, wedding at the Garden City Cathedral on Long Island.

Her sister Juny and her husband Doc booked a beautiful suite for them at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in downtown Manhattan for their wedding night. Uncle Bob somehow messed up receipt of the message, so he did not know about the fabulous gift. And, Bob had no place planned in advance for them to stay on their wedding night, so they stayed in a “motel’ in New Jersey that special night. If you knew Bob, that was Bob. Knowing Bob and Adaire, they had a fabulous time.

Then, the next day, onto their honeymoon destination of Williamsburg, Virginia by way of car…they took in multiple football games along the way, including the University of Maryland and UVA among others. Bob had a ball on the trip down-- loving ever minute of going to those games; Adaire hated it because she hates to this day any kind of sports unless of course it’s someone in the family playing. She told me in her sometimes hilarious over-statement…”It was AWFUL! I HATED it! I asked her why she didn’t leave. She replied “I couldn’t, I was stuck.”

Bob & Dairsie had their ups and downs like all of us; sorrows like few, but quickly dusted themselves off and returned to their wonderful life together. A life of rainbows and lollipops, of dancing in the living room to the songs of Frank Sinatra. On many New Years Eve’s, always the partiers, always the romantics they would often go to the Blue Room here at the Shoreham Hotel, just the two of them, and danced the New Year in.

After an award-winning career in the car business, Bob joined Adaire in her successful antiques business – a business that she started when she was in her 50s. They had a ball, working together, driving up and down the East Coast searching for antiques running “the shop” and so happy to just be together.

When Uncle Bob died on October 12, 2006 after a long illness, Adaire’s heart broke. It never ever healed. We all knew it wouldn’t, and we were all sad (and still are) at the passing of dear Bob, but sadder that we couldn’t repair her broken heart. My Mom told me at the restaurant that evening following Uncle Bob’s funeral that she thought Adaire would die in a few months. And, for a few months after, Adaire told my Mom many times she could not go on living without Bob and wanted to die.

4th Point on the Star: Adaire the Mom

Count your lucky stars…………….

Three years after they were married, in February 1945 Robert D. King III was born, healthy, handsome and a joy to them both. Bob, or Bobby as we called him grew up, met wonderful Renee Hinant, and married on a snowy day in January. They have two beautiful daughters, Donna and Jodie.

Special Chris, the second of their 3 children arrived. Chris is their only daughter, and middle child. Chris’ middle name is Adaire, named after her Mom. Chris grew up, married a wonderful and loving Mike Spates and have two beautiful daughters, Laura and Katie.

And, Bob and Adaire’s third child John was born, a blessing from God. John was baptized here in this church, married the amazing Jan Friedlander and have 3 beautiful children, Daniel, Hayley and Erin…..all so so very special.

About a month after her beloved husband Bob’s death, Chris and Mike, along with the help of many family members made arrangements for Dairsie to move back here, back home to Kensington. Chris and I drove Bob and Adaire’s van up from Raleigh, with Dairsie and her beloved cat Maggie Moo. We arrived back home in Kensington, Maryland to her beautiful apartment. My dear sister Sharon and our Mike had her “new home” all set up with her own furnishings, including pictures on the wall, bed made cat box filled etc. Special Chris had spent many hundreds of hours searching for just the right place for her Mom.

These past 15 months were for Dairsie I think both “the best of times, and, the worst of times.” Chris visited her Mom virtually every day; often 2xs a day simultaneously working at the Cancer Institute at NIH. Mike visited constantly too. The visits were not sitting around and yakking, they were drives to the hairdresser, manicures and pedicures, doctor and dental appointments, the vet, lunches, dinners, drives through Kenwood to see and feel the Cherry Blossoms in the Spring, visits to see my Mom, family celebrations, holidays and parties and much more.

My devoted sister Sharon visited her often, with a McFlurrie in hand (Dairsie’s favorite).

And Dairsie spent what I believe was her most special time during these 15 months, the last months of her life, with her twin, my Mom, her “Rosie” . She was here to be with her sister, just the two of them, as they had started life together. It was a full circle and completion of her life on earth.

And Finally the 5th and Highest Point on the Star: Adaire, the person

Who said that every wish…would be heard and granted…when wished on the Morning Star…..

Born a middle child, filled with love, happiness and sunshine, she was and is an angel. Always adventurous, Adaire was on the rifle team in high school and college, while in her 40’s took flying lessons and earned her solo and “instrument landing” flight credentials.

During World War II she worked at Sperry (now Sperry Rand) as an assistant draftsman, and loved every minute of it.

Adaire, always looking for the next adventure went onto other things, including rescuing animals … a lifetime commitment, drawing, ceramics and her Motor Home Club driving all over the US with her angel husband Bob and their 2 dogs Pretzel and Duster in tow.

When our beloved Nanie died, our family matriarch, Dairsie willingly took on the mantle of being head of the family….preferring to call herself “the Don.” And “the Don” she was, taking care of everyone in the family, and everything, trying to fix every problem, which is impossible, but she never gave up…and she still won’t.

Since her death only a few days ago, I’ve heard these comments from various generations in the family:

My God, I wasn’t there when she died

She wasn’t sick. It was too fast. I wish I had gone over to see her at the hospital on Sunday

I wish I had come up with my Dad the last 2 times he came up to see his Mom, my Nana

I wish I had come up earlier this week

I wish I hadn’t been sick and saw her before she died

I wish had been with her when she died

I wish I had talked with her on New Year’s Day instead of being at that stupid New Year’s party

I need 88 more years with her

I have never lived without her

I cannot believe this

This is so hard

I am so sad

I am heartbroken

But, I am absolutely certain, in my heart and mind that Dairsie would tell us this, right now:

You were here with me when I passed across the Rainbow Bridge into Daddy’s loving arms, and to the barks, shrieks and meows of all my animals-- all of whom have been waiting patiently for me. I am always with you, I love you, I am proud of you, I am lucky to have had you. Stop you’re crying and go have a party.

In closing, I’d like to take just a slight poetic license a read to you an excerpt from Scene II, beginning at line 21 of Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet:

“Give me my Bob; and when I shall die; take him and take me and cut us into little stars,

And we will make the face of heaven so fine

That all the world will be in love with night.”

Thank you God for giving us Adaire for 88 years. Please bless her and Bob and keep them in the palm of your hand…..always and forever………

To my dear Dairsie,

Love you, always and forever,

Gwensie…..and Jack too!

January 20, 2008

jack wood

January 22, 2008

Dear Mommy,

I miss you so much, but know you are waiting for me when I cross the Rainbow bridge.

I love you, and will make sure Maggie Moo stays with our family.

LoveU

CrackerJack

Kristin&Michael Christensen

January 21, 2008

I had just thought of Adaire while driving by Magnolia Glen, where I last knew she resided in Raleigh, only to learn later that she had passed on the day before in Maryland. I remember her as a forever young woman who loved living in the Wildwood Green community in north Raleigh, never meeting a stranger and embracing life with a zest that most of us never achieve. We missed both her and Bob after they and we moved away from Wildwood. They were such good neighbors to us. We would like to extend our sincerest condolences to the family.

Paul and Sonja Hrapchak

January 18, 2008

Mrs. King was a very gracious, kind and fun-loving person; and I loved her antique store. We remember how much she and Mr. King loved their 'travelin van' and doggies. Our sincerest sympathy to Chris and family.

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