Raymond P. Rhinehart

1940 - 2023

Rhinehart

Raymond P. Rhinehart (Age 82)

Born June 7, 1940, Hoboken, NJ. Died May 7, 2023, Washington, DC.



Raymond Patrick Rhinehart, lived a uniquely American life, from his birth in 1940 New Jersey to an immigrant mother who had escaped Hitler's Germany before the start of the Second World War, to his death nearly 83 years later in the shadow of the U.S. Capitol, where he was surrounded by loving friends and his chosen family. With him in the end, was Walter Smalling, Jr., his husband and life partner; together for more than forty-five years, they built homes together, published books, traveled widely across the world, donated generously to charities and helped people in need, and nurtured a broad and deep tangle of friends, families, gardens, art and music.



While family was a priority for Ray, he was in many ways a self-made man. In this, he was like his mother, Emily Taube Rhinehart from Germany, who upon hearing Adolf Hitler speak, realized she needed to escape the growing insanity - which she did by marrying an American merchant marine, Reginald Rhinehart, and moving with him to America. Emily was a practical woman. Ray was an only child and both parents had to work; fortunately, Ray was unusually precocious, and was able to navigate a sometimes difficult childhood. School became a refuge, and Ray excelled in academics. In 1957, Ray forged his mother's signature on a financial statement so that he qualified for a scholarship at Brown University. Ray was also practical. He graduated from Brown with Honors in 1962, and always said that Brown changed his life. The experience sparked a lifelong interest in and sense of obligation for the education of subsequent generations, and Ray would ultimately serve on several governing committees at Brown. In 1969, Ray received a PhD. in English literature and philosophy from Princeton, and later, a Woodrow Wilson Fellowship. He did post-doctoral studies at Chapel Hill.



In many ways, Ray lived a life of the mind. He could lose himself in a piece of music or a classical text. The academic life had real appeal, and in his early career, he taught English at University of Virginia, George Washington University, and Virginia Commonwealth University. Ray was the arts correspondent for the Richmond NPR station for two years, and he drove the Arts Mobile for the Virginia Museum for one year. But in 1980, Ray began a career-defining thirty-five-year tenure at the American Institute of Architects. He was a writer, stage manager, counselor to 35 presidents, and for three years, vice president of the American Architectural Foundation. Music was also a lifelong passion, and Ray, who had a beautiful tenor singing voice, was a member of the Cathedral Choral Society of Washington for more than thirty-five years, also serving on its board for many years.



Ray was a man of both discipline and passion. He was a writer, scholar, teacher, author, musician, raconteur, good friend, a beloved uncle, dedicated family member, and a committed partner. Ray was the author of four books, two of which were architectural guides to his two alma maters, Brown and Princeton. His husband Walter was the photographer for both. While Ray would never claim that work was his highest priority, he had a brilliant mind and a focused discipline that drove a lifetime of achievement.



He appreciated the journey of his own life as a gay man, and marveled at the distance traversed in his lifetime, from fearing arrest for being gay to legal same sex marriage. In 1979, Ray found his life partner, Walter Smalling, and in 2013, when the law finally caught up with their love, they got married at the Octagon in Washington, DC. Walter and Ray's union was a marriage of both hearts and minds with shared passions and joyful friendships. Their homes were filled with music, art, good food, stimulating conversations and much, much love and laughter. Together they renovated an 1875 Victorian townhouse in Shaw; Ray was the gardener, Walter in charge of renovations. For many years, Ray and Walter had a cabin in Shepherdstown, WV on the Potomac River and they spent 25 summers at their saltwater farmhouse in Penobscot, Maine.



Ray was an old-fashioned gentleman in every sense of the word who inspired others to be the best version of themselves. He had a profound influence on six nieces and nephews and was always the consummate teacher. But it was knowledge and wisdom, music, family, and the love of his friends that meant the most to Ray. No wonder that he in turn was loved and respected deeply for his affectionate nature, courtly manner and his wise counsel.



Emily Dickinson wrote "unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality". Always and forever, Raymond Patrick Rhinehart is among the immortals.



A memorial service will be held on Friday, June 30 at 11 a.m. at St. Margaret's Episcopal Church at 1830 Conn. Ave., NW. Contributions can be made to the Raymond P. Rhinehart Scholarship Fund for Young Musicians through the Maine Community Foundation, 245 Main Street, Ellsworth, ME 04605, or online. Specify Rhinehart Fund.