Thomas Soybel Obituary

Thomas Soybel DORCHESTER Thomas Soybel, a lawyer and author of children's verse, died on Saturday, January 16, 2010 in Dorchester, after almost 20 years of living with progressive multiple sclerosis. He was 52 years old. Born and raised in New York City, Mr. Soybel earned his B.A. at William College in 1979 and his J.D. at Boston University in 1982. After three years as an assistant district attorney in Manhattan, he became a civil litigator with Proskauer, Rose, Goetz, and Mendelbaum, and then worked as an attorney in the Office of the General Counsel of Dartmouth College in Hanover, N.H. His illness required that he retire in 1994. His children's book, "The Diner on the Wall," illustrated by Pam DeVito, was published by Windswept House the following year, and he continued to write whimsical poetry for his friends and family. After moving to Wellesley in 1995, he audited courses regularly at Wellesley College, pursuing his interests in Shakespeare, poetry and art history. He volunteered at the Hardy Elementary School, frequently reading aloud and annually participating in the Disabilities Learning Day. A disc jockey in college and during summers, he maintained a lifelong passion for music of all kinds. In 2005 he moved to The Boston Home in Dorchester, a facility focused on the particular challenges of living with progressive multiple sclerosis. He is survived by his wife, Virginia Earll Soybel, and their daughter, Anna, both of Boston; his parents, Renate and Arthur Soybel; and his sister, Carol Soybel Bartges of New York City, and his nieces and nephew. In lieu of flowers, contributions would be welcomed at The Boston Home, the Accelerated Cure Project, or the Williams College Alumni Fund. A memorial service will be held on Saturday, January 23, at 2 p.m. at St. Andrew's Church, 79 Denton Road, Wellesley. Arrangements under the direction of, J.S. Waterman & Sons, 592 Washington St., Wellesley, MA 02482.

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Published by The Wellesley Townsman from Jan. 19 to Jan. 26, 2010.

Memories and Condolences
for Thomas Soybel

12 Entries

Jeffrey Bradshaw

October 10, 2010

I had just noticed that my Facebook profile picture shows Thomas in the background. We were likely in kindergarten. This prompted me to once again try to find him. Google led me to the obituary.

I had heard that he had MS, but had not been able to track him down, and was not sure he would remember me, even though we were best friends through 3rd grade. I had moved to the NJ suburbs the summer of 1966.

We had spent many hours playing together, and I can picture one particular toy we played with in his room. After I moved away, he came out to see me once or twice, but we eventually lost touch.

My love and prayers to to his family.

Jeff

Terry Holmes Waxman Koshel

March 23, 2010

Thomas dressed like a preppy, even as a little boy. I remember his collared shirts, sweaters, tan cords, hush puppies and even a brief case.He was a gentleman and kind, but fiercely ready to challenge anyone intellectually. He loved the competition, especially Mr. Kretz's math journeys. I remember going to a Beach Boys concert with Thomas in 1972. It was my first stadium rock concert and it was amazing. When I hear Brian Wilson's music I am taken back to that magical night at Madison Square Garden with Thomas. We lived only a few blocks from one another and were part of the group that walked through the park or took the 79th street cross town bus home. Thomas will e missed. My heart goes out to his family and friends, to Mr. and Mrs, Soybel and to Carol Ann.

Christina Root

March 16, 2010

I remember a phase (in about 5th grade)when the girls decided that Jamie Barondess and Thomas had "grabbable ankles," and we would interrupt them as they were drawing quietly at their desks with our silliness. They always put up with us tolerantly and with real affection. Later, Thomas lent me "The Grapes of Wrath," and we talked about other books we both loved. I also remember our doing a surveying project together at Hawthorne Valley. Thomas was extremely helpful, and I enjoyed standing on ladders in the draughty barn taking measurements under his expert guidance. Though a more serious student than most of us, Thomas clearly felt that we were a karmic cohort, if not a family. My heart goes out to his family for the loss of a beloved son, brother, husband and father.

Kyla Brooke

March 14, 2010

I remember Thomas from High School as the boy who could do ANYTHING academic. He was a mediator for the class (most of the time.) He worked hard, was fiercely competitive, had a great sense of humor and was fair in the love and war of high school. Death is the great leveler and Thomas died too soon. My heart goes out to you, his family, and to his close friends. Thomas (I really think he was called Thomas in high school) will always remain the frank, caring teen that I knew.

Jennifer Bingham

March 14, 2010

Who I remember: a warm, humorous, kind of stuffy grandfatherly guy. The Senator for our class. Always very careful about not hurting anyone's teenage feelings.
I am so sorry for his family that he's gone.

Claudia Shayne-Ferguson

March 14, 2010

Like all of the kids in our small class at the Rudolf Steiner School, Thomas was more like a sibling than just a friend. Memories of him between the ages of 5 and 18 still linger, even though I haven't seen him in over 20 years, and fond feelings for him remain in my heart.

I remember him as fiercly competitive, eager to learn, smart, proud, and very capable. He marked his place in the back row of the classroom, and tipped his chair back with an air of complete confidence.

He was a friend to everyone, and it was painful for any of us to think of the illness he had to endure. For me, seeing his children's book, and hearing occasional anecdotes from his sister made it easier because he seemed to be so clearly up for the challenge. Of course, it's not surprising that he was just as determined in illness as in health to be the best he could be.

No matter how time may have changed him, I will always be left with the image of a cute little boy with a squishable face...if only one could catch him. Clearly his wife did, and my condolences go out to her and the entire family.

Maureen Warren

January 28, 2010

I met Tom when we were both first year law students at American University Washington College of Law in Washington, DC in 1979! He was the highlight of my year---- bright, quick, funny and far more worldly than me! When we needed to escape the law library we would find a way to go listen to music or take a walk and critique DC architecture. Tom was intellectually curious about the world and I think I served as his "Midwesterner" to study---actual entertainment for a New Yorker! He loved nearly everything about the study of law. For fun, Tom would look up different state vagrancy/loitering laws and then ask that I empty my purse and pockets to see if I could be arrested in whatever state he was reviewing. A note or letter from Tom was always a piece of art written with care and wit in his unique hand script.

Tom glowed when he talked about Ginnie, how he missed her and his plans to join her in Boston soon. Even at age 22, he was certain of his love and pure admiration for Ginnie! Ginnie and Anna--my heart goes out to you both at this time of enormous loss. You are missed dear Tom!

Barbara (Hudson) Railton-Jones

January 24, 2010

I'm an alum of the Rudolf Steiner School in NYC (class of '77) I remember Thomas well from many assemblies and other school functions. My condolences to his family on their loss.

Steven Schmidt

January 23, 2010

Tommy was one of my best friends in high school and I spent many hours at his house. When I was about 13, having spent the night at the Soybel's, I found about $14 which his sister Carol had slipped in my coat pocket to help me get a dog (which I did). Tommy and I had a healthy and gregarious academic and physical rivalry all through high school. Tommy was strong and I was fast, attributes we tested daily in the high school we were both sure we owned. I have thought of Tommy often since high school. I deeply regret that I did not keep in touch with him. I am sorry that I never got to know Ginnie and Anna.

Well, contrary to Tommy’s (Dr. T’s) Alumni Report Year 2000 in the 1975 yearbook, Tommy did not flunk out of Harvard Law. The verse under his name in that yearbook reads, “When my daily existence permits, I look back on what has been before, With a puzzled and questioning mind, And seek the substance. From the past I draw strength for the future, And perspective on what is at hand. Yet this in itself gives me certainty, So I continue…” And so I will.

Ginnie, Anna, Mr. and Mrs. Soybel and Carol, I am so sorry for your loss. Tommy was an exceptional man, and I know everyone who knew him will miss him.

Love, Steve and Rachel Schmidt

Doug Stone

January 22, 2010

It was great to see Tom at our 25th Williams '79 reunion and realizing how difficult it was for him to get there, all the more special. A great loss for our class.

Carmen Laube

January 19, 2010

Tom always did everything better than the rest of his classmates, but he was humble enough so you never resented him for it. He was a great writer and artist even as a kid, and on behalf of the Rudolf Steiner School NYC Class of 1975, we send our heartfelt condolences to his wife and daughter, his parents, and his sister and her family. See you on the other side, Tommy.

Michelle Alexanian

January 19, 2010

I met Tom about 2 months ago at the Boston home. I read books to him and shared my funny stories with him. Even though when I met Tom he was unable to speak I learned alot about him. I will miss Tom very much it meant so much to me when I made him smile. Tom taught me alot about life and I really feel blessed to have met him. I know he is in peace watching over his family and smiling.

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