Menu
Search by Name
Search by Name
BORN
1974
DIED
2023
Joel Black Obituary
July 5, 1974 - November 22, 2023
Alex was born July 5, 1974 in Decatur, Georgia to Louise Wauford Black and Joel Alexander Black, Jr. He grew up in Lewisville, NC and graduated from Forsyth Country Day School. He was a member of Unity Moravian Church. He was a highly accomplished youth swimmer in the state of North Carolina and he went on to swim collegiately at Southern Methodist University. After graduating, he lived in Dallas, Texas for several years. To know Alex is to know how much he loved the sport of swimming. He loved being in the water, racing, being on deck and cheering on his teammates. Later, it was his passion to share his love and knowledge of the sport with the kids he coached on several year-round competitive swim teams in Dallas, Texas, Goldsboro, NC and Winston-Salem, NC.
He married the love of his life, Betty Robinson Black, on October 9, 2010, and they welcomed their much-loved son, Joel in 2014. Being a dad to Joel was the proudest accomplishment of his life and he loved every moment spent with his family. He was an accomplished artist and enjoyed comics, Star Wars, movies, music, the Rolling Stones and Shakespeare, and he loved nothing more than to introduce anyone who would listen to one of his joys. His enthusiasm and joy for life were undimmed by his battle with colon cancer and the grace and determination he showed during that six and a half year battle is an inspiration to all who knew him.
He is survived by his parents. He is also survived by his wife, Betty Robinson Black, their beloved son, Joel Alexander Black, IV, his sister, Suzanne (Brian) Wrighton, his nephew and niece, Brian and Bonnie Wrighton and uncles, Samuel Wauford and David Black.
The family wishes to thank the dedicated staff at the Kate B. Reynolds Hospice Home for taking care of him in his final weeks. The family is requesting that any memorials be made to Trellis Supportive Care (attention: Finance), 101 Hospice Lane, Winston-Salem, NC 27103. A service celebrating his life will be held on Saturday, December 2, 2023 at 10 a.m. at Unity Moravian Church, 8300 Concord Church Road, Lewisville, NC 27023.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Joel Black
Suzanne Heath
December 22, 2023
Alex was a great coach and friend to all in NC Swimming. He will be so missed. Having lost my son at an early age to cancer, I know too well the loss and heartache the whole family feels. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
David Rountree
December 7, 2023
David Rountree
December 7, 2023
David Rountree
December 7, 2023
David Rountree
December 7, 2023
Alex Black was incredibly instrumental in my life and made a tremendous long-term impact on so many things that I have been tied to in my life. This impact has affected thousands of people and entire programs over the years.
Alex and I go very far back, but the relationship was mostly one-sided. In fact, he may not have even remembered me at all. It is heart-breaking that he will never fully know the impact he had, but I would like to take a moment to share. This will require an explanation for sure.
As a young kid, I swam for a few year-round clubs in Raleigh. Alex and I competed against each other in the pool, but I would not consider us rivals at this point as I peeked around the age of 10 with a gold medal at JO´s in the 50 breastroke, still my biggest swimming highlight ever.
By 13, I was mostly playing other sports (football, baseball, basketball) and lost any real interest in swimming. By high school, I was only in the pool a few months out of the year (during the high school season and the summer community club meets, where we still got to swim 50s). I never really finished higher than 3rd in high school dual meets and hated going to practice. My event was now the 100 breastroke and my best time was 1:07.8.
I transferred high schools to Ravenscoft, also in Raleigh, during my junior year. This is where I would find Alex again.
I continued to play football and baseball, but also decided to swim again as my new high school coach, Billy Thorne, was the same coach I had and loved as a 7 to 10-year-old. I wanted to work hard for Billy as I felt like I did not want to let him down.
During our first swim meet of the season, I actually won the 100 breastroke (1:07.2). The competition was not as strong as it was at my previous school, but winning felt good and sparked curiosity about working hard in this sport that I had all but abandoned.
I continued to work hard and happened to pick up a couple more wins, still not breaking 1:07. My time was not great in comparison to other top swimmers, but a win was a win. Halfway through the season, I was still unbeaten, but still 1:07.
Our next opponent was Forsythe Country Day and Alex. I remember seeing him in the warm-up as he was so powerful in the water. I then saw him swim a few laps of breastroke and my initial thought was "well, my winning streak was nice while it lasted." I knew there was no way I could beat him.
Then, to my surprise, he did not swim breastroke that day. He swam fly, so the winning streak stayed in-tact. Whew!
On the bus ride home, my coach Billy said "just so you know, Alex will probably be swimming the 100 breastroke at State Champs and he will most likely be under a minute." This moment is the single moment that changed my life forever.
My new team had embraced me as a team captain and my journey to try and win the 100 breastroke at State Champs. To beat Alex, I would have to drop a LOT of time, which meant I´d have to train like a complete "PSYCHO;" therefore, we coined the term "GO PSYCHO!" for inspiration in training and my journey to take down someone as great as Alex. We hung posters up around the pool and yelled "Go Psycho!" in practice during hard sets.
Our team was now motivated. I was now motivated. I told Billy that I was going to go under a minute by State Champs. Remind you I was still at 1:07 (my same time for the past 4 years).
The entire energy of the team transformed into this machine of working hard and inspiring each other, all with the phrase "Go Psycho!" and now "BAB" for "Beat Alex Black." We painted a rock red with the word "PSYCHO" and "BAB" on it, which our team would touch for inspiration before each swim. I also wore a swimsuit with "BAB" actually stitched into it as a reminder of my goals.
Every time I wanted to give up during a set, my teammates would remind me that I will be racing Alex at State Champs and to keep "Go[ing] Psycho!" and "BAB."
We pushed each other every day like we had never done before. We raced hard in practice and supported each other. For the first time in many years, I was enjoying the sport again.
The week before Conference Champs, I somehow dropped 2 full seconds and went 1:05. I got out of the pool, smiled at my coach and said, "I´m going under a minute, Billy."
At Conference Champs, we all shaved down. I had never even dreamed of "shaving" for a swim meet prior to this, but chasing Alex opened up this entire world of swimming. I took gold in the 100 breastroke at Conference (Alex swam fly instead) and I dropped 3 more seconds. Now, 1:02. Still not good enough to "BAB," but getting closer. At least the dream was still on the table.
The final week before State Champs, my nerves were like never before. I had trouble eating, sleeping, doing homework... anything. My sole focus was that 100 breastroke and Alex Black.
I arrived in Asheville at the State Champs and saw the PSYCH SHEET. There it was: Alex - Top Seed in the 100 Breastroke. I was 2nd. The race was set. I decided that it was no longer a "Psych" sheet, but a "Psycho Sheet" and it was about to go down. The rivalry, still 100% on my side, inspired our entire team to work hard and push ourselves like never before, but we were excited and I felt my teammates were more excited about my race than even their own races.
Alex and I both swam the breastoke leg of our respective Medley Relays and my split was almost 2 seconds faster than I had ever been. It was only .02 off of Alex´s time. Energy was in the air and I actually saw hope that I may be able to give Alex a race.
My 200 IM came next and I shockingly dropped over 14 seconds. I was starting to believe.
I moved on then to the 200 free relay and dropped time again. "BAB" felt like a real possibility and my team was so pumped. We are all swimming well and having so much fun. The real race was almost upon us and my team knew it.
Finally, it was time. The 100 Backstroke (the race before) entered the water, so the 100 Breastroke was next. I walked behind the blocks. This was it! Alex and I were both undefeated and the race was ready to go.
Now, I´d like to say this movie-like story had an instant happy ending for me, but dethroning the great Alex Black wasn´t quite in the cards. The race was great, I held my own and took it down the last stroke before finally getting out-touched by Alex. Although I went a 1:00, my best time, the basic fact was that he was just better.
Now, I was hoping that he would be arrogant about the win, making it easier for me to dislike my "rival," but just the opposite happened.
Alex showed me so much respect and encouragement after the race. Right there in the lanes, he gave me a big hug and said "Aw man, that was awesome. You did great!" We stayed in the pool for what seemed like another 2-3 minutes where Alex humbly continued to inspire me saying that I should totally go back to swimming year-round after what I had accomplished. He told me how impressed he was with my swim and that I had a ton of potential.
The humbleness and encouragement Alex displayed after the race gave me such a life in the pool, but really in life in general. I started to understand that it´s not all about winning and losing and there are greater things in life that come from the journey alone.
My senior year, "BAB" was still on the table, although the end result was similar. Alex still took the gold and I still took the silver; however, the term "Go Psycho" stuck with me forever and took on a life of it own. I coached swimming for over 20 years and every team I have been a part of knows the story of Alex and how he changed my life.
Teams that I used to coach still embrace the "Go Psycho" mantra, which has now been going strong for over 30 years. In fact, one of my former teams has embraced it so much, they have become the "HOME OF THE PSYCHO SWIM TEAM" and even put it on the side of the pool and permanent letters. The Psycho Rock, although it could use a paint job, also still lies poolside for current swimmers of the summer club to touch before each of their races.
The entire Ravenscroft team energy changed to one that started to believe. We created such a strong bond and family environment that ultimately changed the entire program dynamics and it all revolved around the theme "Go Psycho" and "BAB."
I went on to swim in college (and finally did get under a minute in the 100 breastroke) and Ravenscroft went on to win numerous back-to-back State Championships. The catalyst to all of this can be credited to inspiration of my rivalry with Alex Black.
Our group of swimmers are still in contact today and, although I never did "BAB," we still talk about those two years and how it taught us all how to work hard for things in life, find motivation by enjoying what you do and even though you may not walk away with a gold medal, there are greater things in play that will ultimately give you a much greater win in life. It taught me that, no matter what happens, to just enjoy the journey.
I currently live in Los Angeles and work as writer and feature film director. My production company is, of course, Psycho Rock Production, which was all inspired by Alex Black.
I sadly found out about the passing of Alex from my coach Billy Thorne, who also knew how much the rivalry with Alex affected and changed my life for the good.
Alex Black, you will truly be missed, but never forgotten. I thank you for all that you did for me as I will continue to "Go Psycho" and truly hope that you are able to Rest in Peace. Sending infinite love and respect!
-David Rountree
Ravenscroft School
Class of `93
Donna Cheek
December 7, 2023
Alex was in my Senior English class at FCDS. His creativity in class brought such laughter with his interpretations of poetry. So much talent as an achieved swimmer. Prayers extended to the entire family as they go through the grieving process.
Donna Wetherington Cheek
Gaye Litz Wilkins
December 3, 2023
Dear Louise and Joel , I am so sorry to hear about your son. I can only imagine the loss you are suffering . From all these notes it sounds like he was a very special young man.
I will be praying for your strength, peace and the love of your family and friends to strengthen you through this chapter of you life. My God meet you with his comfort.
Carrie Jenkins Williams
December 3, 2023
To Louise, Joel, Suzanne, Betty,
From the ache of a mother's heart, sending love and strength to each of you to endure this too-soon loss of your beloved, courageous Alex. May his joyful spirit stay with you and help you navigate those spaces where you most miss him. And may the little ones grow into his legacy of love, generosity, connection, playfulness, and family devotion with grace and pride. We feel blessed to call you family. With love, Carrie, Reid, Evan Clare, Gaige, and Hannah
Gregory Adam Johnson
December 2, 2023
I always looked up to Alex growing up in swimming. He was always so fast and always so outspoken. And funny. He was also very creative. I think I still have the team video he made of the YNats trip to Nashville in `93. And he designed the coolest team shirts.
As a coach, he always seemed to bring enthusiasm and great presence. I got to share the deck with him a few times over the years.
I send my deepest condolences to Dr. Black and Louise, and to Suzanne, and to his wife and son.
Jade
December 1, 2023
2 kids started swimming @ WSY one 6 one 7. One short and one tall. One with a smile his face and one with a scrawl on his face. One fast and one slow. Both swam @ WSY until they graduated high school. Both swam in college one at a big program and one at a small never heard of program. These 2 kids stayed in touch because they shared interest in movies, television and music. As life went on these kids ended up living there adult lives in W-S. They continued to hang out eating dinner or breakfast together discussing there interest at the exact same time not knowing what the other had said some times. These 2 kids actually tied for who could talk the most. I am some over joyed reading what people have written about the tall kid with a smile on his face. I am also crushed I will not be able to argue all our favorite topics with my friend of 42 years. Have you ever met someone who never let you know they had a bad day even if it was there worst day? If you met Alex Black then you did. If we all could live life with half of his enthusiasm our lives would be incredible.
My Best Friend
Ralph & Sharon Harris
December 1, 2023
We are sharing in the sadness of Alex's passing. He was an exceptional person & led an accomplished life in many areas. Alex fought a long, difficult illness with great dignity & his passing will be felt by many. We wish the family peace & healing
Louise Bazemore
November 30, 2023
Dear Joel and Louise,
Bill and I are saddened to hear of the loss of your son. You are in our hearts and prayers.
Louise Bazemore
Joy Michael
November 30, 2023
My heart goes out to the entire Black family for the tragic loss of such a great human!! I knew him while attending Forsyth Country Day, class of `93. He always had a huge smile & brought much happiness to everyone!! You all are in my prayers
With my deepest sympathy,
Joy Michael
Marcus Hester
November 29, 2023
One of a kind. Love you, bro. Shine on you crazy diamond.
Frances Brenner
November 29, 2023
My deepest sympathy. He was a special person.
April Beason
November 29, 2023
Alex was my daughter's first Tyde coach. We had the pleasure of seeing him again regularly when his family joined Peacehaven Pool. I always enjoyed the look of joy on Alex's face as he watched Joel swim. Prayers for comfort and peace.
Leslie Allred Yates
November 29, 2023
To the entire Black family. This news brings sadness to my heart. Growing up, I was so blessed to spend time out in Lewisville and on family vacations with this wonderful family. I have never known a family that loved each other as much as you all did and to visit this home was like a fairytale. Suzanne I am sending love to you and your parents and the extended family and I am just so very sorry. much love, Leslie Allred Yates.
Debbie Freeman
November 29, 2023
So very sorry for your loss ... my thoughts and prayers are with all of you
Thornton Burnette
November 29, 2023
I met Alex years ago when I first became an official in swimming. His enthusiasm for swimming and for his swimmers was without equal. Those who were fortunate enough to see him interact with them witnessed a truly great role model for young people to look up to. He always handled himself with professionalism and decorum. My sincerest condolences to his family and friends. Alex will be terribly missed by those who knew him. The swimming community has lost a great ambassador.
Jan Pleasants
November 29, 2023
I am so sorry. Was not aware he was so ill. Bless him and his wonderful family
Blake Russell
November 29, 2023
I had the pleasure of going to school with Alex from elementary school to high school at Forsyth Country Day School. The class of `93 had a funny personality - largely because of Alex! He would keep everyone laughing. He was sweet, kind, and passionate and truly one -of -kind!
Shaun Sidden
November 28, 2023
As a childhood friend to an adult, Alex had a recognizable booming joyful voice he could turn on and warm a room (or pool deck). Memories of his voice echoing down hallways, to chanting on a bus to hype the team up are remembered. Most fondly remembered is the way he talked to my son on a pool deck, it was all about my son (or any other kid he was talking to), many remembered his incredible swim talent, but he didnt talk about that. It was how he could help the next generation of swimmers. If you never were able to swim with him, be on a relay with him, or have him behind your block as a teammate, you missed out. His determination and grace in dealing with his sickness is inspirational. This community will miss you, but you made this community a better place. Thoughts and prayers to Suzanne, Louise, and Joel.
Jerry & Mary Shipman
November 28, 2023
Alex was a professional teaching our son to win a race in swimming. Alex taught & motivated the swim team here in Goldsboro, NC. He carried the team the national level. The team had high regards for him! He taught them the importance, respect, endurance, readiness, being prompt ,discipline, & sportsmanship! He was the best!
Jim Richardson
November 28, 2023
While coaches are not supposed to have favorites...Alex was one of mine. I loved that he became a swim coach!! A life well-lived for sure.
Gretchen Smith Hoyle
November 28, 2023
I´ll never forget meeting 11 year old Alex in 1986 when I was an assistant swim team coach at Westwood. He had such amazing talent, energy, and love for the sport. Decades later, Coach Alex inspired my children to embrace swimming with the same enthusiasm. We will miss him so much. Thinking of his wonderful family and hoping his amazing legacy provides comfort at this difficult time.
Shaynah Jerrell
November 28, 2023
Some of my favorite memories of Alex were on NCS Zone trips - when Reverend Black took over the microphone you were glued to your seat and took in every word he had to say. Alex's joy and spirit were infectious. He will be greatly missed.
Ryan Michel
November 28, 2023
Alex was a pillar of the sport of swimming in our community. He was a role/model athlete, coach, and rival. No one could get his team more hype for a meet than Alex and it is those motivation skills and enthusiasm that I will always remember fondly. My family's love and prayers are with the entire Black family.
Wyatt Hoyle
November 28, 2023
Coach Alex was the best swim coach I ever had and hands down the funniest as well. I really learned a lot from my two years with him as well as all the years he coached at Westwood he will be missed dearly
DIAN RAMEY
November 28, 2023
Alex was Jade´s best friend. He so loved Alex´s sense of humor. He will be missed by all who knew him. My memories date back to when he was only 6. From a skinny little kid he grew into an accomplished swimmer (both age group & collegiate).
We will all miss him.
Pete & Dian Ramey
Showing 1 - 29 of 29 results
Make a Donation
in Joel Black's name
Memorial Events
for Joel Black
How to support Joel's loved ones
Honor a beloved veteran with a special tribute of ‘Taps’ at the National WWI Memorial in Washington, D.C.
The nightly ceremony in Washington, D.C. will be dedicated in honor of your loved one on the day of your choosing.
Read more
Should I Send Sympathy Flowers?
What kind of arrangement is appropriate, where should you send it, and when should you send an alternative?
Read more
What Should I Write in a Sympathy Card?
We'll help you find the right words to comfort your family member or loved one during this difficult time.
Read moreResources to help you cope with loss
Estate Settlement Guide
If you’re in charge of handling the affairs for a recently deceased loved one, this guide offers a helpful checklist.
Read more
Obituaries, grief & privacy: Legacy’s news editor on NPR podcast
Legacy's Linnea Crowther discusses how families talk about causes of death in the obituaries they write.
Read more
The Five Stages of Grief
They're not a map to follow, but simply a description of what people commonly feel.
Read moreWays to honor Joel Black's life and legacy
Obituary Examples
You may find these well-written obituary examples helpful as you write about your own family.
Read more
Obituary Templates – Customizable Examples and Samples
These free blank templates make writing an obituary faster and easier.
Read more
How Do I Write a Eulogy?
Some basic help and starters when you have to write a tribute to someone you love.
Read more
