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Joseph Phaneuf Obituary
PHANEUF, Staff Sgt. Joseph E. II Staff Sgt. Joseph E. Phaneuf II, 38, of Kozey Road died Friday, (December 15, 2006) in Afghanistan. He was the loving husband of Michele Kozey Phaneuf for eleven years. Born in Putnam, he was the son of Peter Phaneuf of Dayville, and Barbara Ortega Phaneuf of Killingly. Staff Sgt. Phaneuf joined the Headquarters Company of the First Battalion 102nd Infantry Brigade in New Haven in November of 2005. He was also deployed to Iraq in February of 2004 with the Connecticut Guard's 118th Medical Battalion. Prior to his service in Afghanistan, he worked as a field operating technician for T-Mobil for five years. Joseph was a member of the Eastford Volunteer Fire Department and also coached basketball, T-ball and baseball. He enjoyed photography and golf and was an avid Michigan Wolverine fan. Besides his wife and his parents, he is survived by three beloved children, Ryan Phaneuf, Danielle Phaneuf and Jordan Phaneuf, all at home; three brothers, Dennis Phaneuf of Medford, Ma., Tony Phaneuf of Killingly, and Rob Phaneuf of East Putnam; three sisters, Tiffany Gion of Killingly, Holly Grube of Eastford, and Veronica Mobley of Montville; father and mother in-law, Greg and Teddy (LaBarre) Kozey of Eastford; a sister-in law, Sharon Kozey of Eastford and 13 nieces and nephews. Friends and relatives are invited to visit with Joseph's family on Tuesday, December 26, from 2-4 p.m. and 7-9 p.m. in the Gilman Funeral Home, 104 Church Street, Putnam, CT. A Mass of Christian Burial will be held 11a.m. Wednesday, December 27 at St. Patrick Cathedral, 213 Broadway, Norwich, CT. Burial with military honors will be held in Arlington National Cemetery at a later date. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Phaneuf Children's Education Fund c/o NewAlliance Bank, PO Box 71, Eastford, CT 06242.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Joseph Phaneuf
Mark Pendergast
July 9, 2025
It takes immense courage to serve one's country, and even greater sacrifice to lay down one's life. Though I only knew Joe briefly in the late 80s, his memory has stayed with me. I was deeply saddened to learn of his passing many years later.
Joe's quick wit and ready smile are how I'll always remember him. His dedication to our country and the ultimate sacrifice he made for his fellow servicemen are truly humbling. As a former Marine, I've participated in the Run to Home Base ten times. This event raises crucial funds for the clinical care and support of veterans and their families dealing with the invisible wounds of service. Every time I train and run, Joe is in my thoughts, motivating me to push through.
To Joe's family and friends, please know that you and Joe are always in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you.
Holly Phaneuf Grube
July 8, 2025
Love you to the moon and back
Holly Phaneuf Grube
July 8, 2025
I miss you every minute of every day. I have had some really vivid dreams about you lately that made me wake up crying. So real that I had to confirm I was dreaming. Are you trying to tell me something? Rest in peace.
Brian Sturgill
July 7, 2025
I think about SSG Phaneuf almost every day. He was a great man, and he was taken to soon. God bless the Phaneuf family. Rest in peace SSG.
Becky Adams
October 5, 2022
I met you in 1985 at a leadership conference for high school sophomores & your gregarious friendship helped with my nerves. I dreamed of you last night and I'm not sure what it meant, but obviously you're a special person--how else would I remember someone that I only interacted with for 3 days? I'll do my best to figure out the message and bring it where it needs to be.
Anthony del Pino
May 30, 2022
You may not be with us on this earth anymore, but you are not and never will be forgotten.
Private Dempsey, Desmond
October 10, 2021
National Infantry Museum, Ft. Benning, GA. Dez just turned blue this week & is now starting in Airborne school.
We love, honor & respect our fallen soldiers who gave their lives for our freedom. R.I.P. Joey! You´ll never be forgotten! June & Darren
Robert Powers
May 30, 2021
Just saw the Memorial Day tribute to this man and his family. I Thank this family for their sacrifice and his ultimate sacrifice to protect the values we share.
Sheila
December 21, 2019
Hey, Joe~ I think of you often, but this time of year you're always on my mind. Miss you, brother.
Rob Challinor
December 15, 2017
Joe just wanted to let u know that sorry we didn't make it again this year I promise next year we will make it. Also wanted to let you know that my oldest is in the guard n leaves for basic on 9 January I still remember when you would tell her she was my little princess and tell me that's why we do what we do brother. Just to let you know Thorstenson n I finally made SFC n thought u would get a laugh. We will be there to see you soon n we did a shoot for u tonight luv u brother till Valhalla
N Deveau
July 12, 2017
Joe Been a long time bud, not a week goes by i don't think of you. You always gave the best advice even if i was too stubborn to listen.
Every time i see our nations flag I see you with that big smile on your face, You were always the best of us Joe.
Keep a warm seat for me ill be along some day we can relive those great times playing ball and going to the fair.
Thank you Joe
Rob Challinor
December 18, 2016
Sorry post is late this year bro just been busy still think of you everyday. Sometimes I even start to dial your number n than realize what I'm doin you will always be in my heart bro luv you n until we meet again
Rob Challinor
December 7, 2016
Happy birthday brother miss you everyday hard to believe it's goin to be ten years next week since you left
Never Forgotten ❤
Michele Phaneuf
May 25, 2016
Anthony del Pino
December 16, 2015
RIP buddy and keep watching over us.
Rob Challinor
December 15, 2015
Well joe its been another year and it still doesn't get any easier. I miss you everyday. You were one of the best and more of a brother than a friend. I try my best to live everyday to make you proud. I love and miss you brother
December 15, 2015
Miss you angel
Robert Challinor
December 19, 2014
Joe I'm sorry I'm late with my post this year its just been so hard i miss u so much I pray everyday for your guideance that u would always giv me I'm sorry that the loss of u makes it hard for me to celebrate my bday on that day n I struggle everyday to be the man husband n father u always told me I was I luv u brother n I promise to get to Arlington before ten years we miss u
Sheila Thomas
December 7, 2014
Happy Birthday in Heaven, Joe~ You're missed!
December 7, 2014
Thinking of you, especially on this day. Happy Birthday in Heaven.
Viv
Rob Challinor
November 11, 2014
I miss u bro thinking of u on this Veterans Day n how w used to toast the memory of r fallen brothers I find myself asking what it b like w u still here alot lately n try to live my life to make u proud
Michele Phaneuf
May 25, 2014
Got together with the crew, we opened the bottle of port you gave Scott. The bottle that was supposed to be opened when you got home. We all toasted you and shared stories. You are loved & missed by us all. I know you were with us last night just not the way we had planned. You are always in my heart. Xo
January 14, 2014
joe.........always in our thoughts, minds, hearts. xoxoxoxoxox
Anthony del Pino
December 16, 2013
R.I.P. Buddy
December 15, 2013
Thinking of you, especially on this day. Will never forget all the memories!!!!
Sheila
December 7, 2013
I saw an article on CNN today that the "Wreaths Across America" program is short on donations this year. Interesting I read it on your birthday, huh? So I sent two in your name. Happy Birthday in Heaven <3
Rob Challinor
October 19, 2013
Joe I miss you so much n miss all r late night talks u were one of my best friends n it still hurts still trying to learn how to celebrate my birthday when I lost u the last time I celebrated I got the call we lost u bro
October 1, 2013
Rest in Peace
June 21, 2013
Hi Joe,
It's just me, missing you.
LYTC
April 21, 2013
I've been thinking about you more than usual and I decided to post in here because no one has in a while. I love and miss you so much. Not a day goes by where I'm not thinking about you and missing you. You'll always be loved. Rip.
Kristen Kozey
December 17, 2012
Hey Joe,
It's been a while...six years. A lot has changed but not a day goes by where I don't think of you. I miss you a lot but I know you're always there. Please take care of those little children that were taken from this Earth a couple days ago; they're in your hands now.
Miss & love you,
Kristen Kozey
Anthony del Pino
December 15, 2012
RIP
Always on my mind.
Merry Christmas (Balad, Iraq 2004)!
Tom Strohmeyer
December 15, 2012
Joe,
Unfortunatley, there's a new mission for you. We lost a lot of little angels from CT and they'll be coming your way. Wrap them in your wings, deliver the hugs and kisses we've all wanted to give them, and let no further harm come their way.
It's hard to believe you left us six years ago, I still think of you every day.
Big hugs for the little angels and you. Merry Christmas.
~stroh
Holly Phaneuf-Grube
November 27, 2012
Miss you. Hope you are resting in peace. Love you
November 12, 2012
Happy Veteran's Day my friend. Thank you - Thank you for the ultimate sacrifice. We all love & miss you!
Annie (Kochek)
Anthony del Pino
November 11, 2012
Thank You
Chris Combs
October 25, 2012
I'm not sure why I was thinking about Afghanistan today, but it lead me to thoughts of you.
It has been a long time since you left us. It has been a long time since we worked together. It has been a long time since you trained me on the crazy Army communications equipment.
It has been a short time since you helped me.
Thank you for the guidance.
rob phaneuf
May 28, 2012
thanks joe for giving your life so we all can live free. i still think about you every day and miss you. love u bro
Anthony del Pino
May 28, 2012
Today your ultimate sacrifice is honored by all,but everyday your in my thoughts.Rest In Peace Buddy.
Michele Phaneuf
May 13, 2012
Thinking of you all the more today on what would have been our 17th (wow) wedding anniversary. It is also Mother's Day. Always a bitter sweet day for me. Thank you for our children. They are truely the best of both of us. You would be proud, they are amazing!
You are always in my heart!
December 16, 2011
Five years Joe, It's hard to believe. I miss laughing with you :) You'll never be forgotten.
Anthony del Pino
December 16, 2011
Rest In Peace Buddy.
Your Not Forgotten.
Peggy Childers
December 15, 2011
To the family and friends of Staff Sgt. Joseph E. Phaneuf:
Please accept my remembrance of Joseph on the anniversary of his passing and know that he will never be forgotten.
Veronica
December 15, 2011
Missing you!!
rob phaneuf
December 15, 2011
5 years today. Man I miss you!
December 7, 2011
Thinking of you today and remembering good times, no matter how short, amongst friends. Thank you for your guidance years and years ago and for getting me to church when I needed it most! You are missed by so many. Thank you for your service and sacrifice for our country. And, our thanks to your family as well. Rest well, SSG Joe Phaneuf.
Tony
December 7, 2011
I once knew a man from Nantucket....
Missing you
Michele Phaneuf
November 22, 2011
I know with all my heart that you had a hand in keeping Ryan safe.
I also know you always "have my back" Thank you!
You are forever and always in my heart..
Anthony del Pino
November 11, 2011
Never Forget The Veterans Who Are Not Here With Us.
Veronica Mobley
November 11, 2011
Hey Joe- Thinking of you as always but especially today on Veterans Day. Thank you for you sacrifice. You are missed and still loved.
rob phaneuf
September 14, 2011
hey Joe i wish you could see Jake on the fooball field he plays like a true Phaneuf i know you would be proud. We all miss you. P.S. Eastford,Eastford,Eastford
Kirby Cipot
September 13, 2011
Hi Joe,
So I'm not quite sure why, but today I was thinking about all the Eastford memories and how I missed middle school and everyone and then you crossed my mind and I decided I wanted to post something.
All I've got to say is I really miss you, and I hope you got a laugh when I FINALLY got the blackberry I always wanted, only to get rid of it shortly after. Wish you were here so I coulda whipped it out and said "Hey Joe, look what I got now. Ha haaa" Just like you used to do to me -Kirbs
September 12, 2011
Dan brought home these ghost peppers on Friday. Mike told him to throw them away. He reminded him of the day that you and Dan ate some tiny hot peppers at Viv and Charlie's. We laughed because both of you were down for at least a half hour! XXOO Love you!
MAJ (R) Tom Strohmeyer
September 11, 2011
Joe,
I will never forget you, the events that changed our nation, and your ultimate sacrifice. Knowing you made me a better person and I am eternally grateful.
Michele Phaneuf
August 26, 2011
On my mind more than usual today. I think it is because it is almost the 10th anniv. of 9/11. That day changed every American's life but it put us on a path I could never have imagined in my wildest nightmares. It put us on a course that would end life as we knew it. I'm proud of you and the fact that you gave your life for the sake of our freedom. But sometimes my heart is just plain sad. Today is one of those days. I miss you.
Michele
Veronica
July 3, 2011
Thinking of you as always. Thank you. Love you.
Anthony del Pino
May 30, 2011
Thank You. You are honored everyday.
Rob Phaneuf
May 28, 2011
Thank you!I miss u man.
Left with love from: Jordan's 8th grade class
Michele Phaneuf
May 28, 2011
Jordan recently had her 8th grade class trip to DC. Can you believe our baby is now 14. She has grown and changed so much I doubt you would recognize her but you sure would be proud of her!! We went to Arlington to visit you (as EES does every year) and left you some flowers. It was very emotional. I hope you know how much you are loved and missed. It's Memorial Day weekend and I also hope you know how VERY VERY proud we all are of you. Our hero, husband and father.
Forever in my heart!
Michele
Melissa Helmick
May 6, 2011
In loving memory of all of our fallen heroes. May God be with the families of those like Staff Sgt. Joseph Phaneuf. They will never be forgotten. May their courageous duties and heroic actions be an inspiration to us all.
Holly Grube
May 2, 2011
We got him!!!!!! Bin Laden is finally dead and now Joe, you can Rest in Peace.
Anthony del Pino
April 10, 2011
I was just looking through photos,I ran across this one. I dont have many of you,due to the fact that you were always behind the camera. Your not forgotten.
March 1, 2011
I took the most awesome photo the other day. Reminded me of the day you said if you take 24 pictures and only one comes out good then you did a great job. Really wish I could show it to you.
Teddi
Michele Phaneuf
February 6, 2011
Thinking about you a lot lately. Remembering, smiling and missing you.
xoxo
Michele
January 18, 2011
miss you<3 xoxo
MAJ Tom Strohmeyer
January 13, 2011
Joe,
Retirement tomorrow. Really wish you could be here. You will be one of the influences in my career/life that I highlight at the luncheon. The guideon will be displayed proudly.
Sheila O'Leary
December 16, 2010
Joey :) Four years. It doesn't seem possible. I miss you. I think of you often, and i always smile. Thanks for everything. Peace, brother.
Anthony del Pino
December 15, 2010
SSG PHANEUF
You are not forgotten.There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of you.
Peggy Childers
December 15, 2010
To the family and friends of Staff Sgt. Joseph E. Phaneuf:
Remembering Joseph on the anniversary of his passing. May our fallen heroes never be forgotten!
Peggy Childers
"Don't Let The Memory Of Them Drift Away"
www.IraqWarHeroes.org
December 15, 2010
</3 Only love can mend a broken heart. But it is love which has broken it in the first place
December 15, 2010
Hey Joe, It's just me. I miss you and I am so thankful for the memories that I have. Keep sending the messages, they make me laugh. I love you.
December 14, 2010
Cannot believe it has been four years without you. Seems like just yesterday we were watching the girls run up the hill and saying "on my, what are we in for?" No need to worry..............all is well. You "did good"! Love and Miss you so!!!
tom strohmeyer
December 11, 2010
Joe, Thought of you again today, which isn't unusual. Reva and I were talking about deployments and one of her soldiers was in Tal Afar, and I just started to laugh. I had to explain to her that Tal Afar was near Task, the place we were going to be taken to if we didn't fill out our laundry slips correctly. Thank you for continuing to be a part of my life, your memory will live with me forever.
rob challinor
December 10, 2010
Hey bro, its hard to believe that its been 4 years now. Was thinking about you the other day and how we used to talk and you would always tell me that no matter how bad things get just think of the ones that you love and smile. I miss you alot and know that i havent been down to see you in awhile but i still think of you often. You were a true friend and brother wish you were still here and just wanted you to know that your missed so much and never will be forgoten.
Michele Phaneuf
December 7, 2010
Happy Birthday....always missed always loved
Holly Phaneuf - Grube
November 25, 2010
Joe, I am thankful you were/are my brother. I miss you and although it has been almost 4 years since you left us, I still some days think you are coming home. It seems like I saw you just yesterday and I will always keep your memory alive and in my heart. You will never be forgotten!
Doug Cutler
November 23, 2010
Joe, I still remember the day I heard the news like it was yesterday. Sigh. Can't believe it's been about four years now. Wish you were still here.
Tony
November 22, 2010
I can't tell you how much I miss you. The random phone calls, your sense of humor and your presence that made me feel welcomed. I love all the the random memories that keep popping in my head and sharing your (our) stories with people, and to this day you are still making people laugh! A great man is always remembered by how others have known and talked about him, and it is quite obvious you are one! I miss you so much!
Nathan Mooney
November 17, 2010
hello mr. phaneuf, you have never met me before but i believe you know who i am. i think about you all the time. i just wanted to say thank you. thank you so much fo reverything you have done for this country. thank you for being an inspiration to kids like me. thank you for giving up your life to serve for others. And lastly, thank you for having such an amazing family, especially your oldest daughter. your family has always been so kind and loving to me. they miss you a lot. Something i think is crazy is that i do too. i miss you. i never thought it was possible to miss someone so much, especially someone i have never met. i feel so close to you, yet so far away. i just want you to know yoi will always be in my thoughts and in my prayers, and that a day will never go by where the thought of you doesnt cross my mind. THANK YOU
November 11, 2010
Thank you ...
Anthony del Pino
November 11, 2010
I Salute You
Anthony del Pino
November 10, 2010
You are not forgotten. It was an honor to have served with you.
October 20, 2010
not a day goes by where you don't cross my mind. i love you, rest easy
September 10, 2010
Never, Ever to be forgotten!!
Love and miss you.
Joe & his camera
Michele Phaneuf
August 21, 2010
memories will forever keep you alive in my heart
August 17, 2010
Oh Joe................As usual thinking about you! Kristen turned 15 today and we are thinking about you!
July 30, 2010
Joe~~~~As always thinking of you! On the lake today and just remembering you tubing! Oh, yeah, and losing your phone! Wow! What a day that was!
XXOOXXOO viv
Holly Phaneuf-Grube
July 9, 2010
Love you and miss you! I think about you everyday and just wish you were coming home. Instead I know you are looking down and protecting us just as you did while you were alive. Ok, also laughing at the stupid things we do! Rest in Peace.
Anthony del Pino
July 4, 2010
Your sacrifice was not in vain. Thank you for our independence.
Mike Durand
June 2, 2010
Joe,
Thanks for your ultimate sacrifice. Think about you often and miss you always.
May 31, 2010
Thinking of you and missing you!
Thank you for your ultimate sacrifice so we may live free!
Viv, Charlie, Zak and Kristen
Anthony del Pino
May 31, 2010
You are not forgotten.
Michele Phaneuf
April 8, 2010
Thinking of you
Donna Gillette
December 25, 2009
On this day and with each day that we enjoy our freedom, I would like to give thanks and let you know that I do not take our troops for granted. May you experience God when you feel your loss.
December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas SSG Phaneuf!!
Love and Miss You!
Charlie, Viv, Zak and Kristen
Steve Yakis
December 15, 2009
Joe, I am so honored to have known you. You gave the ultimate sacrifice for your country. God bless you. You are sorely missed by all in our community.
michele phaneuf
December 15, 2009
Today is the 3rd anniversary of your death....the day our world turned upside down. In the last 3 years, we have aged and grown...life goes on. The only thing that hasn't changed is our love for you that will live forever in our memories and our hearts. I think of you now and a sad smile plays on my face. I picture you in Heaven and you are making everyone laugh with you witt and charm. I know that you have found eternal peace and love and that eases my pain. I miss you.
December 15, 2009
Forever in our hearts!
Missing you...
Sharon, Griffin & Mia
November 11, 2009
Joe,
Thank you for your ultimate sacrifice.
You are forever in our thoughts and hearts.
Charlie, Viv, Zak and Kristen
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Gilman Funeral Home & Crematory - Putnam104 Church Street, Putnam, CT 06260-1897
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