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James Bender Obituary
He is survived by his wife of 61 years, Penelope (Penny) Morton Bender; his children, James V. (Jay) Bender Jr. and wife. Sheron, Mark Robert Bender and wife, Kay, and Janet Bender Purvis and husband, Blair; and six grandchildren, Bryan Bender, Rebecca Bender, Lauren Bender Meadows and husband, Chad, James Purvis, Robert Bender, and John Bender. He was predeceased by his parents, Robert Philemon Bender and Mary Edwards Bender, and by his brother, Robert P. Bender Jr.
He attended Pollocksville schools, Presbyterian Junior College in Maxton, N.C., and Mars Hill College. A World War II veteran, he served for 30 months in the Aleutian Islands campaign. Following his discharge from the Army, he began a small wholesale candy and tobacco distribution business which developed into Bender Candy Company, Inc., serving customers in seven eastern North Carolina counties. After his retirement in 1985, he and his wife enjoyed traveling throughout the United States and abroad.
Virgil was an outstanding dancer and a lover of the outdoors, where his passions included duck hunting and net fishing on Bogue Sound. His family and friends will remember his gift of comic mimicry and the funny stories that he shared of his boyhood and the people and places he encountered during his years in sales.
He was a charter member of the Pollocksville Rotary Club, founded in 1948, and was a Paul Harris Fellow. The North Carolina Wholesalers Association recognized Virgil with its Distinguished Service Award in 1986 for his 35 years of membership and service in that trade organization. He was a lifelong member of the Pollocksville Presbyterian Church, where he served as a deacon and as superintendent of Sunday school.
There will be a private burial at 11 a.m. on Tuesday, March 17, 2009, at the Pollocksville Cemetery. The memorial service will be conducted at Pollocksville Presbyterian Church at 2 p.m. Tuesday, March 17, 2009, with the Rev. Dr. Eric M. Faust officiating. The family will receive friends after the service, and other times at the home.
The family expresses sincere thanks and appreciation to Virgil's caregivers from Seniors Choosing to Live at Home. Memorial gifts may be directed to the Pollocksville Presbyterian Church Piano Fund, P.O. Box 205, Pollocksville, N.C. 28573, or to the MERCI Clinic, 1315 Tatum Drive, New Bern, N.C. 28560.
Cotten Funeral Home and Crematory is in charge of arrangements.
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Memories and Condolences
for James Bender
Sandra Norman Wing
March 19, 2009
Mr. Virgil sold merchandise to our family store years ago. We kept in touch over the years after Bender Candy Company no longer existed. I recall sitting and listening to the stories he and my father would share. They laughed and seemed to have the best time together. He was a great friend and will be truly missed.
March 19, 2009
My condolences and prayers are with you. May God's love and peace be with you.
Gerald Peed, Seffner, FL
Rosa Haddock
March 18, 2009
March 18, 2009; With Deepest Sympathy, my prayers are with you
March 17, 2009
JAYANDMARK & FAMILIES OUR THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU. YOUR LOSS IS TRULY HEAVENS GAIN CLYDEANDANGIE WALL
Ruth Ireland
March 17, 2009
Mr. Virgil, as I always called him, was a wonderful person and a pleasure to do business with. He always had a big smile and warm greeting for me. I have thought of him, many times since he retired, and was glad that he traveled and enjoyed his life. He always spoke with love for his family and was a kind man. This is my 38th year in business at Town & Country in Oriental, and will always remember how kind and patient he was, when I was so young in business. Sincerely and with sympathy, Ruth Anderson Ireland
Cab & Barbara Ramsey
March 17, 2009
Mr.Bender had a smile and kind word for everyone he met. He called on our store,East'ard Variety, in Harkers Island for many years. After he retired we enjoyed his postcards from far away places.
We send our sincere sympathy to Mrs. Bender and the entire family.
Eric Faust
March 16, 2009
Linda and I send our love and the faithful trust in the promise given in the resurrection.
Daisy English
March 16, 2009
In Sympathy and Love,Praying God's gentle comfort will tenderly embrace you.bringing quite peace to yor heart.
We can't ever forget the love that you gave to my mother and family you were the glue that held them together for this I say thank you, Mrs.Penny ,Jay ,Mark ,Janet and the entire Bender Family ,If their is anything we can do please let us know Mr Virgil is in heaven now .I know he has seen my beloved mother Laura Jane by now.
our prayers are with you.
Dais Marie & Fred
Glenda Bynum
March 16, 2009
I remember Mr. Vigil walking to the bank,
often stopping into the Town Hall on Foy Street to speak. I always thought of Mr. Vigil as one of the pillars of Pollocksville, so distinguished, so friendly, so respectable. He will be greatly missed by all who knew him; especially his family, who have the most
precious memories of him. My prayers are with you all.
March 16, 2009
Prayers and best wishes to your family. I always heard my daddy Bob Phipps speak so fondly and happily about his dear childhood friend Virgil Bender. May you all treasure happy memories. -Liz Phipps Langrall, Asheville, NC
Airport Authority and Staff Coastal Carolina Regional Airport
March 16, 2009
Jay and Sheron,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Fred Hollinger
March 16, 2009
Mr. Virgil was a kind and gracious southern gentleman. His legacy will live on through the beautiful Bender family.
Gail Thomas
March 16, 2009
Mr. Virgil was a man I really respected and admired. He fought a tuff battle. He will be greatly missed.
Beth Patton Millman
March 16, 2009
My heart goes out to you. My mom worked at the Oriental Marina for many years. Mr Virgil delivered candy and such there and if I happened to be in there he would give my free candy. I thought he was the most wonderful man in the world for doing that. Beth Patton Millman
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