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Mary Bairnsfather Obituary

Mary Lou Bairnsfather

Mary Lou was born October 20, 1935 to Chloe Davis (Mathis) (of Monroe) and John Alvin (of New Orleans) Bairnsfather. She grew up in West Monroe and attended Ouachita Parish High School and ultimately Northeast Louisiana University (now ULM) where she studied Dance and Administrative Management. At 16 she met Buck Hatten ("He made me feel like such an adult"). Buck was smooth and cool; being 5 years older gave him a certain advantages over his teenage rivals. Soon she was married and started trying to make babies. After a year and a half she had her first son, Dean Edward Hatten ("Edward" being the last name of the delivering doctor). It took her four years to make another son, Kelton Bruce Hatten. Said she found the name Kelton in a High School yearbook, and Bruce was the name of her eldest brother. After that her life changed substantially and she quit making babies. In 1959 she and Buck divorced and after a year of being single with two kids (tough deal back in 1959) she married Pat Craven (of Mississippi). Pat was a ranking member of the U.S. Army at the time stationed in Lawton, OK. She packed up her two boys and headed to Oklahoma. Pat was soon transferred to Germany (1961). Mary Lou and the kids followed. She loved to travel and took full advantage of the opportunity to see Europe. She learned the German language and immersed herself in the culture and society. After three years in Germany the family moved to Fort Hood, Texas (Killeen). A couple of years there and then to San Antonio, Texas. Pat got out of the Army and they moved to Monroe. Although she and Pat had a wonderful, happy life together it just didn't last long after the return to Monroe and she divorced Pat in 1969. Subsequently she married a swash-buckling sailor named Barrett Campbell (of Alexandria, Louisiana). The family packed up and moved to Memphis, Tennessee were Barrett was stationed at the Naval Air Station. This turned out to be her shortest marriage, lasting only 6 months. Back to Monroe with the family. A few years in Monroe and she moved with her youngest son, Kelton, to New Orleans (her older son had gone off to the Marine Corps). After a few years in New Orleans, and after her youngest son joined the U.S. Navy, she married a prominent New Orleans attorney, E. Gordon Schaefer Jr. She lived in a beautiful house on the New Orleans lakefront. Hobnobbed with New Orleans society and made merry for the better part of 15 years. Then the marriage fell apart and she moved back to Monroe. She lived since the New Orleans days quietly in Rayville and Monroe.

Through all the years Mary Lou loved to dance. She danced a million dances with her life-long friend Bob Stuckey. She square-danced to wide acclaim both locally and nationally with her cousin Roy Bairnsfather. She taught ballroom dancing in the 60's. She loved to party. She was always up to listening to other people's problems.

She loved to sit at the dining room table and drink coffee and talk. She liked anchovies and hearts-of-palm and other weird stuff. She loved glass figurines and fake flowers. She always had a little dog, and she took in motherless creatures like baby squirrels and possums. She adored her friend Sally Dunlap.

Mary Lou was loved dearly by her two sons; Dean now a retire Investment Banker living in Montana and Kelton a local Professional Aerial Applicator (Ag Pilot).

Mary Lou ultimately passed away at the age of 76 on December 16, 2011 at St. Francis Hospital due to complications of old age (and smoking too much). She outlived her three brothers and all her ex-husbands.

According to her wishes her body was donated to LSU Medical School in Sheveport to be used for teaching and research.

Mary Lou disliked funerals and services and never wanted any such for herself. Therefore, a happy gathering in her memory will be held Jan. 7, 2012, from 1:00 p.m. until 4:00 p.m. at the Atrium Hotel, 2001 Louisville Ave., Monroe, LA 71201. (318) 410-4000.

Brothers - Bruce (Edna), Ellis (Mary Lou), and Lee Roy (Robin) Bairnsfather.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by The News Star from Dec. 21 to Dec. 23, 2011.

Memories and Condolences
for Mary Bairnsfather

Not sure what to say?





Paul Johnson

January 6, 2012

This is the best obituary I have ever read. Although I didn't know Ms. Mary Lou, I am sure she was a fun and exciting person to be around. My sincerest sympathies to her family as I am sure she will be missed greatly. I have shared this obituary with a number of people and we have all enjoyed reading it.

January 6, 2012

Like most everyone else, I never met Ms. Mary Lou, but I will have to say this is the best obituary I have ever read. I believe I would have loved sitting at her table listening to her share her life stories! God Bless her!

Julia Marzula-Gross

January 5, 2012

How refreshing to hear a real version of a person's life! The only problem is it makes me sad that I didn't have the chance to meet and be friends with this extraordinary, exciting, cultured, and intelligent lady! How amazing in those days to LIVE your life, not afraid to follow your heart! Bravo Miss Mary Lou ( your family should write a novel about your story) Julia in Monroe

Dara Hamm

January 3, 2012

What a fun wonderful obituary! Thanks for sharing her life with us! Sounds like she was a lot of fun!

Allen McGruber

December 26, 2011

Oddly enough my friends and I were setting in a bar and a friend of ours brought in Mary Lous obituary from his trip home to Louisiana for Christmas. Even in death she had brought joy to lives. This round is in your honor! Thank you for bringing happiness to our holidays. Maybe we should quit smoking, but for now were living to the fullest as well. Grab the Lord and Do si do! With all honesty, our condolences and thanks for sharing her life with the world

angela

December 24, 2011

Absolutely the best, most honest obituary I've ever read. I wish I had known her!

Marsha Hogard

December 23, 2011

Wow! What a Blessing it must have been to know Ms. Mary Lou. Though I never met her, I feel I have known her for years. Thank you for sharing her life with us. May the memories of your Mother live forever. Remembering your family in my prayers...

jeannie lord

December 22, 2011

my husband Royce and i knew Mary Lou. We use to talk to her at the VFW dances in Monroe. I"m sure my husband danced some of those many dances with her too. my husband & i visted her some at her house in rayville. she was a very nice person. royce & jeannie lord

Susan Sims Cole

December 22, 2011

My parents knew Mary Lou and spoke well of her over the years. I cannot personally remember meating her but feel I know her after reading this fine orbituary! I know her close family and friends will miss her! Maybe she and my parents have reunited in heaven!

Darlene

December 21, 2011

This has to be the best obit I have ever read. What an exciting life Mary Lou lived. I did not know her but would have loved to sit at the table listening to her chat. Prayers to the family. I know you will miss her.

Jan

December 21, 2011

This is the best obit I have ever read...although I do not know the family....I wish that I had known Mary Lou....I am betting she was a fun person to be around.

December 21, 2011

Loved the obituary. Prayers for the family.

Janie Petti

December 21, 2011

So sorry to hear of the passing of a distant cousin. My mother Florene Mathis Bush was her first cousin. She sounded like an interesting and lively person and I am sure you will miss her very much.

December 21, 2011

To the family of Mary Lou, our whole office read the obituary and we wanted to send our condolences. We never met Mary Lou but we all wished we would have. She sounded like she was a joy to be around. WE ALL NEED A LITTLE MARY LOU IN OUR LIVES! Our thoughts and prayers are with you all!

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