Mary "Mickey" Stephenson

In Loving Memory of Mickey

 

Mary Ruth Stephenson (Mickey)

 

Who is Mary, Mickey, Mick, Aunty Mick, Aunty Mickey?  The answer is:

 

“WRITE ME AS ONE WHO LOVES HIS FELLOWMEN”

 

Mickey was the first of twin daughters born to Clement (Harry) and Mildred (nee Zitman) Stephenson on December 1, 1938 in Georgetown, British Guiana. She was one of seven children:  Pansy (deceased), Laurie (Gem), Gavin (Chippy deceased), Colin (Billy), Carl (Bonnie) and Jean (Trixie).

 

As a young girl, she was lively and athletic, and early showed her selfless nature and her desire to serve God by helping others.  When the family lived at Vreed-en-hoop, this life of service began with her spending much of her time helping at the Church at Malgretout, a mile or two from their home.

 

She made a major decision to devote herself fully to God’s work by entering the nunnery of the Carmelite Sisters at Mount St. Benedict, in Trinidad in her early twenties.  She spent three years as a novice in this rigorous and demanding life.  As Sister Mary, Mickey excelled in the requirements of religious knowledge, discipline, obedience and service, and she was looking forward to taking her nun’s vows in her fourth year. Unfortunately, in anticipation that the regimentation of duties in the fourth year would be even greater, the medical advice to the nuns was that for health reasons, they should not continue with their plans to have Sister Mary take the full vows.  She therefore returned to Guyana greatly disappointed.  She bore this disappointment close to her heart all her days.

 

Mickey was a free spirit, lively and engaging.  She lived her life as a spiritual, prayerful woman, passionate in her love of others, devoted in her caring. She was an innocent without guile, at times even naive, but loving her fellowmen even when very much aware of their weakness.

 

In 1968, Mickey came to Canada, to the cold of Ottawa, again to help a family member in need.  This gift of love and help with raising two young children was the best gift she could give to her cousin Peggy who acknowledges it with gratitude to this day.  The Ottawa winter cold was setting in, but she never complained and only delighted in seeing the first snow fall.  She endured many hardships in adjusting to life in Ottawa; traveling on the Ottawa city bus made her nauseous. so going out to Mass or to a shopping mall was not a stress-free activity. 

 

Mickey focused on her goal to better her life so that she could help her parents and bring them to live with her here in Canada. With this goal, she went to evening school and studied, and within five years of arriving in Canada she graduated with the Grade 13 Certificate of the Ottawa District School Board and started working in the federal civil service.   She worked as an Administrative Assistant at the Canadian International Development Agency. She loved her work for it kept her in touch with Canada’s dealings with the rest of the world, including her homeland, Guyana. One of her major goals was achieved when her father at last came to Ottawa as a landed immigrant in 1981.  From that time until his death in 1998, she devoted her care and love to him even when she was still working at CIDA.  In time, the stress of working to set time-schedules overwhelmed her and led to her decision to retire from the civil service in the mid-1980s.

 

The death of her father brought her sorrow, new stress but also a new chapter in her life in which she had to define her goals anew.  She continued to devote her energies to helping family and her friends, including me, my family, her family in Toronto, and her extended family in Ottawa.  

 

Mickey loved to read, loved her studies, loved writing essays and would become quite animated in expressing her strong views and arguments, whether on politics, religion, social issues or the songs from Michael Bolton and Diana Ross to Michael Bublé and Josh Groban. This kept her young and interesting and able to communicate well with both young and old.  Above all, she loved to dance and could be the life of a party with her funky moves!

 

“A woman has a smile for every joy, a tear for every sorrow, a prayer for every misfortune, and encouragement for every hope”.  Mary, Mickey was such a woman.

 

We give thanks for the time she has spent with us and for the love she has shown all of us.  May her spirit of joy and caring remain with us always.

 

Born: Dec 01, 1938 in Georgetown, Guyana

Died: Sep 14, 2011 in Ottawa, Canada

Obituary

 Posted after the service on September 19th , 2011

 

My sister Mickey, who I love dearly, is a very loving and caring person. 

Growing up as children, we the older ones, Pansy, Chippy and myself, tended to do things together, so Mickey and I were not close growing up.  But as a family, we all shared the same life, Christmases together and the same scoldings and guidance of our parents.

 

Mickey was always considered the quiet one.  I think of her in her early days as spending much of her time helping at the church, whereas the rest of us would be engaging in more worldly pursuits.

 

When Mickey brought Daddy up to Canada she devoted all her time and energy to making him comfortable, and taking care of his needs to the end. For this I am very grateful to her, for I did not succeed in my efforts to work in Ottawa so that we could all live together as a family.

 

Mickey was always fun to be around, and she loved to cook and to entertain. In this we are alike and we also share other favourites: like dancing.  But most of all we love our family.

 

When she came to Toronto at Christmas-time she would bring gifts for everyone concerned.

 

I will miss you and you will be missed by everyone, for you have loved us as we have loved you.

 

May she rest in peace.

 

 

Laurie (Gem)

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This is indeed a sad day for all of us. We have lost a sister, a friend, such a loving person. I think sharing our grief will help us ease our burdens.

 

Growing up with Mickey, my sister we did a lot together. I remember Mickey liked to swim. People would say, “look out for them two red girls” because we were daring and would jump into the rough water to swim.

 

I remember Mickey preparing a big spread and taking too long. I came in hungry. When I couldn’t wait any longer, I helped myself to some food from the pot. When Mickey saw this she was angry. But she never stayed angry for long. And, she wasn’t angry about what I had done, but that I had used the wrong plate. The plate I must have picked up was probably yellow, with a pattern and would clash with the blue place-setting she planned for that day.

In the few short months we witnessed how her health had deteriorated, but her spirit was always there. That was comforting to me, being at a distance as I was. I would always remember and admire her strength and faith at this time.

 

We would like to express our gratitude to: the hospice for the care and peaceful environment that was provided during her final moments; to all the volunteers, friends and family for their undivided attention and love.

 

We are confident that Mickey is now with her Creator. She will always be in our hearts.

I thank you sister, that I was a part of your life’s journey. We will always be proud of you. We love you.

 

Eleanor (Trixie)

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A Tribute to my dear cousin Mary Ruth Stephenson (Mickey)

THANK YOU MICKEY for giving us so much.  Thank you for giving us the joy of your spirit, the warmth of your generosity, the liveliness of your company, the comfort of your reliability, the benefits of your boundless energy, and above all the gift of your all encompassing love.

 

To me and to my family (to quote the poet Sainte-Foix) you were,  

“A woman who had a smile for every joy, a tear for every sorrow, a prayer for every misfortune, and encouragement for every hope”. 

 

All of us who are here today are here because you are very special to each one of us.  You are One-of-a-Kind, and you have touched our lives in a multitude of individual ways.

 

Mary (Mickey) was the first of twin daughters born to Clement (Harry) and Mildred Stephenson on December 1, 1938 in Georgetown, Guyana. She was one of seven children:  Pansy, Laurie (Gem), Gavin (Chippy), Colin (Billy), Carl (Bonnie) and Eleanor (Trixie).  Thus she was the product of two large families: the Stephensons and the Zitmans, families of uncles and aunts and cousins by the dozen. Mickey and I are cousins:  her father, Uncle Harry and my mother, Aunt Ernestine were brother and sister. We knew each other since childhood, but by teenage years I had more contact with her older siblings, and it was only when we met again as adults in Canada that the close bond developed.  We became trusted friends and supporters of each other, relying on each other in times of need; sharing our joys and disappointments.

 

In her early twenties, Mickey made the major decision to devote herself fully to doing God’s work and she entered the nunnery of the Carmelite Sisters at Mt. St. Benedict, Trinidad, where she spent three years as a novice.  As Sister Mary, Mickey excelled in the requirements of the Carmelite Order:  rigorous requirements of religious knowledge, discipline, obedience and service; and she was looking forward to taking her nun’s vows in her fourth year.

 

Unfortunately for Mickey, one of the demands of this life was the regimentation that everything be done according to a strict time schedule.   (We all know that time was no friend of Mickey’s.)   At this point, the medical advice to the nuns was Sister Mary not continue to take the full vows, due to health reasons.  She therefore returned to Guyana deeply disappointed at this outcome.  She bore this disappointment close to her heart all her days.

 

But today we would like this thought to be a comfort to you Mickey:  we believe that this outcome was God’s will, for you have served Him well by your good works and the love shown to your fellowmen in the world outside the cloisters; and we have all benefited greatly from the angel you have been to us.

     

I was one of the first persons to receive the benefits of her life of service outside the convent, for when Mickey came to Canada in 1968, to the cold of Ottawa, it was in order to help me, a family member in need.  For this gift of selfless love and help with raising two young daughters, I will be forever grateful.  It is a gift I can never repay, but you Mickey would never accept repayment either, for it is not a concept that is in your thinking at all. 

     

This is when we got to know each other well – to trust each other, rely on each other, to share our joys and anxieties.  I remember your delight at seeing the first snow fall; I remember how stressful it was for you to go to a shopping mall or even to go to Mass because traveling on the Ottawa city bus made you so nauseous.  There was cocoa at nights for the girls, dramatic story telling and prayers, but Oh! the best was the dancing with Mickey as you showed them your funky moves!

 

Over the years our friends who were close to us became your friends, and particularly those with whom we had heated discussions, for I remember how animated you would become as you held forth, and Tony saying “OK Mickey, calm down, calm down!”

 

Mickey focused on her goal to help her parents by bringing them to live with her here in Canada. With this charitable goal, she went to evening school and studied, and within five years of arriving in Canada she graduated with the Grade 13 Certificate of the Ottawa District School Board and started working in the federal civil service.   She loved her work at the Canadian International Development Agency, for it kept her in touch with Canada’s dealings with the rest of the world, including her homeland, Guyana.

 

Through self sacrifice, determination and diligence she achieved one of her major goals when her father at last came to Ottawa as a landed immigrant in 1981.  From that time until his death in 1998, she devoted her care and love to him even when she was still working at CIDA.  In time, the stress of working to set time schedules overwhelmed her and led to her decision to retire from the civil service in the mid-1980s.         

 

The death of her father brought her sorrow and new stress, but also another chapter in her life in which she had to define her goals anew.  She continued to devote her energies to helping family and her fellowmen, including me and my family; her family in Toronto, and the extended family in Ottawa. 

 

Mickey loved to read, loved to engage in conversation and ‘argue’, though she didn’t agree with this use of the word.  She would become quite heated in expressing her strong views and arguments, whether on social issues, politics or religion, or expressing herself artistically in music, dance and song.  These kept her young and interesting and able to communicate well with both young and old. 

 

Mickey was a free spirit, lively and engaging.  She lived her life as a spiritual, prayerful woman, passionate in her love of family, devoted in her caring.  Her last days spent at The Hospice at May Court were amazingly animated, yet peaceful. Her warm spirit greeted you as you entered her room and she was an inspiration to us all, said the caring staff.  Mickey was at home in this beautiful setting and atmosphere, and she enjoyed the freedom of being free of time schedules at last.

 

Farewell Mickey. We celebrate your life and we give thanks for the time you have spent with us and for the love you have shared with us.

 

May your spirit of joy and caring remain with us always.

 

Noël (Peggy)