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PETER HOUGHTELING Obituary

HOUGHTELING--Peter Delano, a psychologist, died at home in Boston on June 14th from Parkinson's disease. He was 67 years old. Dr. Houghteling worked for three decades in the Dedham, Brookline, and Boston schools as a child psychologist, and later with the Suffolk County Juvenile Court Clinic as a forensic psychologist. He graduated from Harvard College in 1967, served as a Peace Corps Volunteer in El Salvador, and received his Ph.D. from UC Berkeley in 1978. Born in Waltham, Mass. in 1946, Houghteling lived in Paris, France as a young child. Houghteling was raised in Pittsburgh, attended Taylor Allderdice High School, and graduated from Newton High. Houghteling and his wife Susan Waisbren were married for 38 years and raised their four daughters in Brookline, MA. Houghteling was an enthusiastic and active participant in the Boston music and musical theatre community. He is survived by his wife, Dr. Susan Waisbren, and their daughters and their families: Sara of Palo Alto, CA; Charlotte of London, England; Sylvia, of Los Angeles, CA; and Pearl, of Worcester, Mass. He is also survived by his mother, Fiora Houghteling, of Newtonville, Mass. his siblings Lawrence of Hastings-on-Hudson, NY; Robert of Oakland, CA; and Nan of Myrtle Beach, SC. His memory lives on in grandsons Raphael Mason and Jasper Smallwood and numerous nieces and nephews. Burial services will be held at Chatham Synagogue in Chatham, NY. The family will receive visitors at their home in Boston from 7-9 on Saturday and 2-4 on Sunday. Donations in Houghteling's memory will fund a fellowship at The Family Center, Inc. thefamilycenterinc.org 366 Somerville Ave., Somerville, MA 02143.

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Published by New York Times on Jun. 15, 2013.

Memories and Condolences
for PETER HOUGHTELING

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Sally Hayman

September 19, 2014

Dear Susan and family,
I was reading the NY Times wedding announcements and saw that your daughter got married. I was shocked and saddened to see "the late Peter Houghteling".
I knew Peter when we were both interns on the Family Study Unit at the Palo Alto VA Hospital. It was a small and intimate group, and we shared a lot during that amazing year. I had so much respect for Peter and really enjoyed him as a person - so kind and caring and smart. I remember meeting you, Susan, as well, and I will never forget that you had hand-sewn a shirt for him, which was incomprehensible to most of us. We all saw Peter as exceptionally intelligent and a special person, and clearly he had met his match with you. I am so sorry to hear of his passing. My heart goes out to all of you. My sincerest condolences.

Ann Greenberger

May 5, 2014

Dear Fiora and Susan and family, I am very saddened and shocked to hear of Peter's passing. I am grateful to have spent time with your exceptional family. I remember very fondly the few occasions I met and spoke with Peter. I wish you the peace and continued comfort of family and friends.

jo ann neusner

September 30, 2013

so sorry! I just heard through a friend.

Lisa Redding

July 31, 2013

Dear Pearl,
I am just learning of your father's passing. I am so sorry to hear this. He was far too young. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Love,
Mrs. Redding
(BHS)

Stan Grayson

July 19, 2013

Dear Sara,
Obviously, you have no idea who I am. A couple weeks ago, I took out of the Marblehead library Pictures at an Exhibition. I was intrigued by the subject and also said to myself, "I wonder how many Houghtelings there are and could this Sara be related to the Peter I knew at Taylor Allderdice in Pittsburgh?" Then, in the credits, I found the answer as apparently "Yes."

My class (1963) just had its 50th reunion, which I did not attend. When I got out my old Yearbook, I didn't find Peter's name. He must have been in the class just behind me. How many real, lasting memories does one have at age 68 of his high-school classmates? Well, Peter was someone I never forgot and we must have been friends despite that he was a class behind me. I remember a kind and smart young fellow.

After the reunion, I had a phone call from one of the three Jewish kids from Squirrel Hill who was drafted at the same time I was. Of that group, I was the only one who wound up in Vietnam (after getting my MA in English from Penn State) and he brought me up to date on many of our classmates. Oddly, Peter has been on my mind since then. What an irony to learn he was working in Boston.

I've been fortunate to have a career based on writing. Congratulations on your novel. Among other things, I was impressed that it didn't have a female voice. You evoked the immediate post-war era beautifully and told a many-layered story with skill.

Best wishes,
Stan Grayson

Nan Houghteling Wicker

July 2, 2013

Nan Houghteling Wicker

July 2, 2013

Nan Houghteling Wicker

July 2, 2013

Reuben Snipper

June 21, 2013

Dear Susan and all of Peter's family,
I met Peter in Puerto Rico where we were training for the Peace Corps in El Salvador. What a warm, intelligent, perceptive, engaged, sweet, funny, and giant of a man! We visited him a number of times in "his" barrio in San Salvador, one of the poorest. Everyone there adored him. I especially remember his living quarters -- a one room place with a metal roof. When it rained, which was every day in the 6-month raining season, the rain on that roof made such a racket it was impossible to talk. In fact, it was impossible to think! He also visited Ann Stanton and I in Cojutepeque quite a few times, too, and we had lovely talks about everything -- Peter could talk about almost anything and was so easy to talk to.

My heart goes out to his family and I know they miss him terribly. Please know that there are many people in El Salvador who still remember him with great fondness.

Anita Robboy

June 19, 2013

Dear Susan, Sarah, Charlotte, Sylvia, Pearl and Fiona,
What a splendid, loving, kind and luminously intelligent husband, father and son Peter was with all of you! How difficult and sad it is for you to move forward without the love and the intimacy of your relationship with him. One is never ready to let go of such a relationship even as one knows that the quality of his life was dwindling. I can only hope that with time you will find great comfort and strength from the multitude of memories you carry within yourselves of the marvelous human being that Peter always was -- in every context and setting. In my mind, he is forever etched as the King in the musical performance of the 'King and I' at your temple. With love and great sympathy, Anita

Brooks Susman

June 19, 2013

I have not seen Peter since Allderdice. We were in orchestra together and then discovered Kerouac's On The Road together and remained friends until he moved. When I read his obit in the NYTimes, I was taken back to those days when off-beat was influential. I will remember him fondly and say Kaddish for him! Brooks Susman, Rabbi, Congregation Kol Am, Freehold, NJ

Margarita Hurtado

June 18, 2013

Dear Susan and Family:

Please accept my condolence of Peter's passing. I did not come to visit over the weekend because I know you were very busy with family and friends.
My prayers are with you. May God grant you peace and comfort.

See you soon.

With Love,
Margarita Hurtado

Margarita Hurtado

June 18, 2013

Dear Susan and Family:

Please accept my condolence for Peter's passing. I did not come to visit over the weekend because I know you were very busy with family and friends.

My prayers are with you. May God grant you peace and comfort.

See you soon.

With Love,
Margarita Hurtado

Melissa Fischer

June 18, 2013

Dear Pearl and family,

Reading about your father I see him reflected in your own passion, vibrancy and commitment. Know that you are in our hearts, and we are here for you in any way we can.

Don Brown

June 17, 2013

Dear Susan and family,
Susan and I were so saddened to hear of Peter's death after what I know was such a long and painful struggle with his illness. As you know, Peter became my dear friend starting from our days together in El Salvador and enduring for decades beyond those years. Our friendship grew over the many evenings of conversation we spent together in San Salvador. I so appreciated his deep thinking and questioning about what we in the Peace Corps were all doing there. Through his warmth, humor, and openness about his experiences he helped me to grow in my understanding and admiration for what all of the volunteers were confronting and achieving. (We didn't know at that time that our shared affinity for all those probing talks foretold our following similar career paths of psychiatry and psychology)
I will always cherish the warm, deeply connecting relationship we shared. visits we enjoyed.
Please know that Susan and I are thinking of you with deepest sympathy.
With love,
Don Brown

Susan Roth

June 17, 2013

Thinking of you. Saddened to hear about Peter. I attended Taylor Allderdice High School with Peter. I remember him as a special person with a warm smile and very kind.

June 17, 2013

We are sorry to learn of the passing of Peter, but grateful for his service to our nation as a Peace Corps Volunteer in El Salvador.

Our Condolences,
The National Peace Corps Association

June 16, 2013

Dearest Fiora, Susan, Sara, Charlotte, Sylvia, and Pearl,

Please know that we are holding you close in our hearts and that we will always treasure the memories of our time with Peter, our friend.

- Janice and Chris

June 16, 2013

Dear Susan, Sara, Charlotte, Sylvia and Pearl - please accept our sincere condolences on Peter's passing. Our thought are with you all in these difficult times.
Ladan and Farhad Khamsi

June 16, 2013

Dear Sylvia and members of the Houghteling family, Please accept my deepest sympathy and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Yours truly, Mimi Yiengpruksawan, Yale University

June 16, 2013

My deepest sympathy to your family. The loss of a Peace Corps friend always comes as a shock. We all honor his work and his life.

Nancy Senn, Waukee, IA.

June 16, 2013

We wish comfort and blessings to Peter Houghteling's family. Our son, now 25, was his patient when he was having a difficult time in elementary school. Peter was thoughtful, caring and compassionate, and a wonderful therapist for our son and for us. We will always remember him with fond appreciation.
Sincerely,
Roberta Falke and Andy Levey
Brookline, MA

Mark Schneider

June 15, 2013

Dear Susan and family, Susan and I send our deepest condolences and remember the time that Peter shared with us in El Salvador as fellow Peace Corps Volunteers. Peter towered over everyone in the country and particularly in the poor barrio where he worked. Of all the difficult poverty neighborhoods, Peter served in the most desperate, a warren of narrow dirt paths, huts made of flotsam, without clean water or sewers and many without electricity. Thousands of Salvadorans struggling to survive lived there and Peter was a partner to community leaders in trying to see through changes to benefit their families and a truly commanding figure for their children who trailed behind him wherever he went. For the countless numbers who saw him as someone special who listened to and cared about them, and for his friends and we know for all of you, he will be missed so very much. Mark and Susan Schneider

Sue Skoler

June 15, 2013

Dearest Fiora and Family,
My deepest sympathies on the lost of your beloved Peter. My heart aches for all of you. I remember meeting Peter once at your home, Fiora, and I shall never forget how you spoke of him (and all your children and grandchildren) with such pride. You are in my heart!

Edward Hart

June 15, 2013

Dear Susan, Sara, Sylvia, Charlotte and Pearl,
Although Peter's passing was not unexpected, it still comes as a shock. Peter was a dear friend for so many years and I have many fond memories. Most of all, I have deeply respected his talents, skills, and his love of his family. He imparted these values to each of his daughters (as of course did you, Susan) bringing to you all his love of music, of culture, of the importance of education; but most of all, through his example, his deep respect for individuals of all backgrounds and his eagerness to serve them all, as he
did, in so many meaningful ways.
I am writing this on the train to N J to visit Melissa and will not be back until next week.
With love to you all,
Ed Hart

June 15, 2013

Dear Fiora,
My thoughts and prayers are with you today on hearing of Peter's passing. It must be very difficult to have lost you son. I hope you find peace of mind and healing in your heart amidst family, friends and community.

Much Love,
Ellen Meyers

June 15, 2013

Dear Suan, Sara, Charlotte, Sylvia and Pearl,
We were so sorry to hear of the death of Peter.
Peter was a very special man. It was truy an honor to know him. He will be missed.
Gail and Alan Epstein, Newton, MA

Barbie Kean

June 14, 2013

Dear Susan and family,
I am so sorry for your loss. Peter was so special and his death will surely leave an enormous hole in all your hearts.
I hope a lifetime of wonderful memories will provide some
source of comfort for you at this time.
Barbie Kean x

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