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Robert G. McIlvaine
Robert G. McIlvaine
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Robert McIlvaine Obituary
Growing up in Oreland, Pa., Robert G. McIlvaine had three dreams: to get a degree from Princeton, to experience life in New York City and to work at the heart of the financial universe.
"Bob achieved all three dreams," said Andre Parris, who was his college roommate for all four years before they graduated in 1997.
An assistant vice president for media relations at Merrill Lynch in the World Financial Center, Robert, 26, was representing his company in a banking conference on the 106th floor of 1 World Trade Center when the attack occurred.
"To him, New York was the center of everything, the place to be," said Mr. Parris, adding that Robert was about to make another dream come true: he and his fiancée, Jennifer Elizabeth Cobb, were making plans to marry.
"I've known Bob eight years," Mr. Parris said, "and I feel that he had finally come into his own as a person."
Profile published in THE NEW YORK TIMES on September 19, 2001.
Robert G. McIlvaine, Merrill Lynch exec As a Princeton student, Robert G. McIlvaine's studies focused on African-American literature. But as a young man starting a career in New York City, he decided to join the business world.
In July, Mr. McIlvaine went to work for Merrill Lynch & Co. as an assistant vice president of media relations. He specialized in investment banking and was in regular contact with members of the financial press covering Wall Street and global finance.
On Tuesday morning, he was attending a banking conference on the 106th floor of the World Trade Center North Tower.
Mr. McIlvaine, 26, who was known as Bob, lived on the Upper East Side. He was planning a 2002 wedding with his fiancée, Jennifer Elizabeth Cobb, who lives in Central Jersey and works for Campbell Soup Co. in Philadelphia. The couple planned to live in New Jersey.
One of the highlights of his time at Princeton was a seminar he took with the Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison, one of his favorite writers. Although he was white, he majored in English and African-American studies, and his library included cherished works by W.E.B. Du Bois, Langston Hughes, Richard Wright and James Baldwin.
Before going to Princeton, he was a national honors student who played high school soccer and baseball in the Philadelphia suburb of Oreland, Pa.
For Mr. McIlvaine, African- American writers offered a different perspective on life in his country. During his senior year in college, he received the Ruth J. Simmons Thesis Prize in African-American Studies.
"He understood that in order to be stellar academically," said his college roommate, Andre Parris of New York City, "that he needed first to get in touch with humanity."
After graduating college in 1997, his first jobs were as a publicist for books published by Vintage Books/Random House and Henry Holt & Co.
"He was obviously a superstar immediately," Parris said.
Mr. McIlvaine is survived by parents, Helen and Robert McIlvaine, and his brother, Jeff, all of Oreland, Pa.
Visitation will be Thursday from 6 to 8 p.m. at Queen of Peace Church in Ardsley, Pa., followed by a funeral Mass at 8 p.m.
Contributions may be made to the Robert G. McIlvaine '97 Memorial Fund, c/o George F. Schmucki, Princeton University, P.O. Box 140, Princeton, N.J. 08544-0140. Checks should be made payable to Princeton University and mention the fund.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Mike
September 13, 2024
Like Jen says below, you've definitely made an impact, Bobby. I never even met you, but I feel like I know you regardless. You name memory marches on through the countless lives you've touched and the written word that you loved so much. You were just a few years older than me, but hearing your story takes me back to those days of younger adulthood when our lives' story was still in the initial stages of composition. You life continues beyond those all-too-short 26 years.
Jennifer
September 11, 2024
23 years on - never forgotten. You wanted to make an impact - that was apparent in your youth - and I promise you you have. Your kindness, competitiveness and inquisitive nature is as real today as ever.
Alexander Petrenko
June 22, 2022
Like the reader directly below me, I am also coming from the Atlantic piece - - it vividly conveys who Robert was in a way that is not shown in the obit. And his spiral notebook dated Sept 6, 2001...it does give me goosebumps. It's a small window into the [once] real hopes and dreams of all who were there that day, whether on planes, towers, etc. Robert G. McIlvaine, you have taken me back to that day like no one else. For that I'll always remember you. Your life lives on.
James Cypher
August 11, 2021
I read the Atlantic piece, what an amazing person he was.
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The Lucas Family
December 21, 2018
We send our continued heartfelt sympathy to your family for such a sad loss. The passing of time doesn't always end the great pain when we lose someone dear. May God always give the comfort and strength needed to cope. Bob will always be fondly remembered.
Mary Dingas
September 12, 2018
I'm not quite sure if you will ever receive this but I couldn't help but to look up your amazing son and his story! After meeting you both I felt as though I needed to express my sympathy but also let you know that he finds a way to live on through your love and devotion! You raised a special man ! Health and best wishes to your family I hope you are doing better! Mary Dingas RN
S J. Friscia III
October 17, 2014
In Memory
With Honor & Respect.
Lynn Coggin
October 3, 2014
To the family...I have been walking at Mondauk Park and I noticed the beautiful mums as I passed the bench with Robert's name on it. I stopped to read the beautiful memorial plaque on the bench and I realized that Robert must have been a victim of September 11, 2001. It took me right back to that day. I thought about Robert and his family throughout my entire walk and I just want you to know that I was sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. When I came home, I couldn't help but google his name and read some of the stories. He certainly lived a full life in his 26 years. You should be so proud. It sounds like he was an exceptional person. I don't think I will ever pass that bench again without reading his name, thinking of his family, and saying a little prayer. My best to you. <3
Noah Mass
September 11, 2014
Thinking today of your laugh, Bob. Thinking as well of all those subway rides at the end of another long day slinging books. Take care, my friend.
PAUL ROGERS
February 5, 2013
They say time is a great healer, your heartache on the video got to me Robert and I wish your sadness eases. From one father to another, remember the good times.
Kathrin
September 18, 2012
Dear Bob,
wherever you are, you can be sure that we will get the answers one day.
My deepest sympathy goes out to your family. Never give up!
John Chick
September 18, 2011
Dear Bob and family,
My wife and I saw the bench with your name and the flowers today at Mundock Park. You were obviously a very special person who left this world way too soon.
We will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. Please pray for us as well and help to make this world a more peaceful place to live.
John and Mary Ann in Glenside, PA
Shannon G.
September 13, 2011
I recieved your name and age to wear on my wrist as a wristband for the week at school. I am thinking an praying for you and your family and friends each time I look at my writst.
Ben Beck
September 17, 2008
Bob,
I can't believe it's been seven years.
I miss you and will probally keep on missing you for the rest of my life.
My wife and I have decided that if we have a boy we are going to name him Robert.
Ben
Doug Abraham
November 5, 2007
Happy Birthday!!!
P Tabbernor
December 28, 2006
In remembrance....
Kristine
November 17, 2006
As I stitched your name on the memorial that I am doing for all of the victims, I prayed for you and your family. Please know that your death was not in vain. We will always remember. God Bless.
Susan Devlin
March 23, 2005
It is now almost four years later and still the pain of losing a bright young man cuts most deeply.
We recently read the article in the New York Times highlighting the
continuing contributions of Bobby's father, my nephew Robert Mc Ilvaine
in Peaceful Tomorrows. Both Bob and Helen have turned their grief into
positive endeavors and are to be congratulated. I am proud to be even a small part of the family.
Sue Devlin
Andrew Lutz
April 14, 2004
Aunt Helen, Uncle Bob and Jeff:
Years after losing Bobby, he is still in my thoughts. I will always remember growing up living next door to you and sharing so many fond memories.
I can clearly remember pulling Bobby and Jeff in the wagon up and down Twining Rd when you first moved in. And, all of the two-on-two football & baseball games Bobby, Jeff, Brad and I played in our back yards. Also, watching Bobby and Jeff when Helen and Bob wanted a 'date night'. Oh, and all of the Christmas mornings at our neighbors: Uncle Pete's and Aunt Bonnie's, eating blueberry muffins and sharing the toys we received. There are so many more...
Please know that even though I'm thousands of miles away in Arizona, you and Bobby will always be close to my heart.
Much love and support...
- Andrew
Robin McIlvaine
March 23, 2003
My condolences to the family of Robert. Perhaps we were related, perhaps not. I learned of your loss trying to research my family history. My father, Winfield Robert died in 1985. I was to be his son Robert, but they thought Robin a more appropriate name for a girl. Hopefully time is filling in your wound, knowing nothing will dull the pain of your loss. My prayers and hopes that our future will someday hold peace. Prayers- Robin
Caroline Kennedy
October 2, 2002
I've had this magazine called "New York" sitting on my self for over a year when I finally decided to read it. I was utterly touched by the story i found on page 34. I started to cry. This is horrible and I'm so so sorry for your loss. I understand the pain you feel as I lost many friends and my cousin JeanMarie Wallendorf who worked on the 89th floor for Keefe bruyette & Woods. It's horrible going through life trying to retrace what they may have been doing during their final moments with us on Earth. It's just so senseless. Both of them were young vibrant people starting their lives out and it was ended do tragically. I'm deeply saddened for your loss and will now pray for your lost loved one too.
jacki sullivan
September 12, 2002
my family and I, especially my brother, Mike, send you our deepest sympathy for your tragic loss......you are in my prayers....
jacki sullivan
Catherine Marchand
September 12, 2002
Looking at the video taken a few years ago at the Egg Hunt watching you tenderly help the children search for those eggs assured you would have been a fine father. Bobby, you were taken from a loving family far, far too young. You and your mother had a bond which was a joy to witness. Your parents did a terrific job with you and your brother.
Helen, Bob and Jeff, we grieve anew on a this anniversary. You are in our prayers.
Gene Jarrett
September 11, 2002
Robert and I were both English majors at Princeton, where we often talked about African-American literature and creative writing. I remember Robert not only for his warmth and intellectual intensity, but also for his prose. He was a gifted writer; his sentences undulated through the rhythms of punctuation--which he loved to employ like Henry James. I would not have been at all surprised if he had become a professional writer. Unfortunately that possibility never came to pass. But his writing and our conversations remain forever etched in my mind.
Paul Tibbits
April 23, 2002
Ernest Dowson 1867 - 1900
Vitae Summa Brevis Spem Nos Vetat Incohare Longam
(The brief sum of life forbids us the hope of enduring long - Horace)
They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate:
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.
They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.
...Bob was a great friend of the Tibbits' family. We miss him.
Dan Wennogle
April 23, 2002
Bob was part of the group I roomed with all throughout college, and in those years we experienced more than I can pay tribute to here. What I can say, though, is that with him gone we feel a great loss, but his presence is strong in the way we maintain the bonds of friendship that hold us together. We always relied on his jokes, enthusiasm and insight to enrich us. We still do. And even though these things now have to come from memories, they still give us all we need.
Vanessa T.
March 11, 2002
What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.
-Wordsworth, Ode. Intimations of Immortality.
Bob, We miss you. But your love lives on.
Anya Schiffrin
March 6, 2002
I met Robert when I worked as a reporter at the Industry Standard and he was one of my favorite PR people. He was incredibly helpful and enthusiastic about the stories I worked on and we discovered over lunch that we had friends in common in publishing and in the NY writing world. I always enjoyed seeing and speaking with him. He had a wide range of intellectual interests and was a warm and generous person, very moral--a solid citizen and eminently dependable. It was awful to open New York magazine and find out what had happened. His obit in the NY Times does little to convey what he was like. I suppose it was written too soon after Sept 11, before anything could really register. It's heartbreaking to think of what happened to Bob. A terrible loss....
Ben Beck
March 6, 2002
I only knew Robert through the world of cyberspace. My world is a lot emptier without him. My deepest consolances to his family and his fiancee'. He will be missed more than words can express.
March 6, 2002
DEAR GOD SHINE YOUR LIGHT ON THIS WONDERFUL YOUNG MAN FROM PENNSYVANIA.MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE WITH GOD AND HIS ANGELS..GOD BLESS HIS FAMILY...FIANCE AND MANY FRIENDS...GOD BLESS AMERICA AND NEW YORK AND MAY WE NEVER FORGET 9/11/01..MAY JESUS AND HIS ANGELS GREET YOU AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN..AMEN
Becky Skelton
January 22, 2002
I didn't know Robert G. McIlvaine personally, but I am proud to wear a Mercy BAND with his name inscribed on it. He sounded like a wonderful young man that I would have like to have known.
By wearing this BAND, there is one victim I will never forget, your son, Bob. As his family, you are all in my prayers and now that I know he was engaged, I can also include Jennifer. I just pray that God would be with you always and give you comfort in your grief.
Don Hochstein
January 16, 2002
I didn't realize this guestbook existed until now, but I wanted to pass along my thoughts and prayers to Bob's family and friends. Bob and I worked together for about two years at Random House. We shared just about all of our lunch hours together and I will always chersih his positive, upbeat, infectious personality and the genuine friendship he offered me.
Teresa Jahn
December 21, 2001
We are very sorry for your loss of Robert. May his life and love live on in all who love him. Our hearts cry with you.
America Cries
We see your sorrow-
and our hearts cry....
We can not erase your pain
but you do not have to face the anguish alone-for we-
-the American people-
are beside you.
We so desperately want to have the touch that brings you comfort,
the strength that gives you courage,
and the words to lighten your spirits.
And when we are left speechless
may the silence of our nation weave love into your hearts
to ease your sorrow.
May you find healing through our nation's strength as we-
-the American people-
face this difficult time together. Our hearts are with you. Teresa Jahn
Dixon, IL
Kathy Garcia
October 25, 2001
I was working in Human Resources the day Bob came to Henry Holt, I did the paperwork for him when he left. I told him at the time that our company would miss him dearly. He was competent and caring, intelligent and humourous, his smile could light any room. He told me he was headed for where he always wanted to be, I wished him Good Luck and God Speed. Bob has left his footprints on those he touched and will always hold a place in our hearts.
Lee Sternthal
October 23, 2001
You couldn't ask for a better boy to grow up with in your neighborhood. Always ready for an adventure through the woods, a laugh, a joke, a smile, a fight (if that's what it came down to as it sometimes did), my memories of growing up with Bob, our friends, and around his loving, always welcoming family will forever remain some of the fondest I have no matter where I go...You will not be forgotten, my old friend.
Sheila Averback
October 15, 2001
Dear Bob and Helen,
Please accept heartfelt condolences.
I'm thinking about you and I grieve for your loss.
With much sadness,
Sheila Averback
Victoria Cowhey
October 15, 2001
Bob McIlvaine was the son of my first cousin also named Bob McIvaine. Bob,Jr. was an amazing human being. Incredibly smart and succesful; but beyond that, one of the nicest people you'd ever want to meet. His parents were so proud of him and rightly so. He will be greatly missed.
BARBARA BOLIN
October 7, 2001
MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU ALL.MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
ROBERT MAY YOU REST IN PEACE.
William Flesch
October 3, 2001
I directed Bob's senior thesis at Princeton, on minstrelsy in American literature. I was shocked to see his photo in the Times: I recognize him immediately from that wonderful smile, which I recall vividly from 1997: his face would light up slowly at first, and then into a frank and sunny grin, as though there was nothing better than sharing whatever momentary pleasure was producing the smile. He was an intelligent, kind, thoughtful and enthusiastic person, a pleasure to work with and to know. In every way he was a person with life all before him, and nothing could be more senseless than his death.
Eva Swayzee
September 19, 2001
I worked with Bob when I first moved to New York after college and we both had jobs at Burson Marsteller. He and I both were part of a close group of colleagues who went out socially at night and hung out during daytime downtime. What I remember most is what a genuinely good guy he was all around: he always had a sense of humor about his lot in life, and a fun sense of purpose.
I am so rarely at a loss for words but I seem to be now when I try to find reasons for this---some words of comfort to all those who loved him so much. I can only say that Bob knew the reason he lived--everything he did and said showed that. His friends and family knew the reasons they loved him while he lived. The reasons he died, whatever they may be, pale in comparison. I am so sorry I could not offer more, and my heart goes out to you all.
Elizabeth Shreve Greiff
September 18, 2001
There are certain people who come into our lives for a time and we know we are better for it. For me, Bob McIlvaine is one of these people. I hired Bob for his first job out of college and then hired him away to my new company when I left. He was rich with so many qualities that I strive for. I am thankful for wonderful memories -- each one makes me smile.
My heart goes out to Bob and Helen McIlvaine, to his brother Jeff, to his fiancee Jen, and to his many many friends. My thoughts are with you all.
George Rubich
September 18, 2001
Bob worked for us (Henry Holt) in the publicity dept for one year. Although I did not work closely with Bob, everyone had great things to say about Bob. Great attitude, hardworking, always went the extra step.
What you knew more than anything else about Bob was that he was genuine. He was the real deal - a guy who you knew you can trust. He always had a positive attitude and a great smile.
We missed him then and we'll miss him even more now. But I've learned that in these times of sadness what helps us get through, are the great things these special people brought to our lives and that will remain with us forever. God Bless you and your family.
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