There are so many different types of grief, and each brings its own unique pain and challenges. Grieving the death of a parent is much different from grieving the loss of a child, which is much different from grieving the loss of a spouse … the list continues. But one type of grief we don’t always talk about is the grief that begins before a death. Any long-term illness might lead to this – the horrible knowledge that death is coming inevitably, and soon – but Alzheimer’s disease brings a special set of circumstances that causes a unique and early grief for anyone caring for an affected loved one.

There are so many different types of grief, and each brings its own unique pain and challenges. Grieving the death of a parent is much different from grieving the loss of a child, which is much different from grieving the loss of a spouse … the list continues. But one type of grief we don’t always talk about is the grief that begins before a death. Any long-term illness might lead to this – the horrible knowledge that death is coming inevitably, and soon – but Alzheimer’s disease brings a special set of circumstances that causes a unique and early grief for anyone caring for an affected loved one.

Alzheimer’s is very common: An estimated 5 million Americans 65 and older have the disease. It typically begins with mild memory loss, which increases over time and is joined by other symptoms including personality changes, confusion and hallucinations. In the late stages of the disease, sufferers may be entirely bedridden and unable to communicate. As Alzheimer’s advances, the patient’s family loses their loved one a little bit at a time.

“When someone we love develops Alzheimer’s disease or any form of dementia, we experience a series of losses,” says grief expert Helen Fitzgerald. “The person we knew so well becomes more like a stranger. What is most painful is that we become strangers to that person — no longer recognized as daughter, son or spouse.”

The first time a mother can’t remember her own child is devastating, and it’s typically followed by greater and more frequent episodes of memory loss and unusual behavior. As we watch a beloved family member become someone completely different, it’s natural that we begin grieving long before the death – we’ve already begun to lose the person we knew.

The Alzheimer’s Association notes that Alzheimer’s caregivers often go through the five-phase grieving process while their loved one is still alive, progressing gradually from denial to acceptance. And the feelings of loss are likely to occur over and over – as the patient declines, and again after their death.

It’s important to seek and accept help and comfort when we’re grieving a death, and this support is just as crucial in a case of early grief for a loved one with Alzheimer’s. Books and articles can help us understand what our loved one is going through and discover new ways to connect with them despite their memory loss. Support groups, both online and in person, offer a network of others who are going through a similar loss and can offer advice and commiseration. And it’s important to take care of yourself in addition to your loved one; depression can become a real issue, and counselors and therapists are available to help you through it.

Written by Linnea Crowther. Find her on Google+.