JOHN GRAHAM

I still take credit for getting Barbara and John together!

He was a profound, important influence to me. I miss him.

Memorial to John at Christ Church United Methodist, NYC

I first heard about John early in 1999, when he started dating my long-time friend Barbara. Later that year John accompanied Barbara to Viet Nam to adopt Grace. In the coming months, I could see John´s love for Grace, like when he carried Grace piggyback, teaching her to shoo pigeons, because: "Shooing pigeons gives a small child a feeling of power-something they rarely have." When they married in 2006, I was Barbara´s maid of honor. At the reception, John´s wit was on display: "I asked my...

A year later, I'm sure you miss him as much today as the day he passed away -- he was your best friend! First and foremost, I knew he was a wonderful man when I saw how happy he made you. Not many men would have gone off to Vietnam before you were even married to support you when you adopted Grace -- that also said a lot about John to me. Finally, it meant a lot that your friends, Steve and I, immediately became his friends. Every time we got together he showed great interest in us and...

I miss his smile.

Thinking about you, Barbara, at this difficult time.

I first met John Graham in 1970 or 1971 when he was a resident in psychiatry at Bellevue Hospital and I was the Unit Chief for Forensic Psychiatry. I had recently returned from service in Vietnam. One day there was an unexpected knock on my office door. In entered this tall, serious looking resident named Dr. Graham. He felt it urgent and necessary to seek me out, without the delay of an appointment, to inform me that he disapproved of a particular medication I had prescribed for a patient...

I had the good fortune of being a patient of Dr. Graham's for over 30 years. He was a wonderful doctor who provided counsel during anxious and uncertain times in my life. And while I never got to know him on the personal level that so many people in these remembrances have, there's been nothing said that would surprise me. He was an eloquent, well read, understanding man who made me a stronger person. I owe him a debt of gratitude for which I could never possibly repay. I miss him. May he...