Search by Name

Add a Memory

Send Flowers

Make a Donation

Share Obituary

JOHN GRAHAM Obituary

GRAHAM--John Malcolm MD, died peacefully at home on January 5, 2021, age 84. Beloved husband of Barbara Kurka, loving father to Anton, Isaac, and Grace (Kurka). Born in Cape Town, South Africa, John graduated from the University of Cape Town Medical School (UCT) in 1965, then practiced medicine in the small town of Postmasburg. John came to New York City in 1968 to do psychiatry at Bellevue. He had a private practice, speaking with patients until his death. John generously funded scholarships for University of Cape Town medical students to honor his parents and sister. An avid cricket player and fan, he happily watched test matches the week before he died. John is also survived by his brother, Michael. Memorials may be made to the UCT Alumni Fund.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by New York Times on Jan. 29, 2021.

Memories and Condolences
for JOHN GRAHAM

39 Entries

Christine MacMurray

January 24, 2023

I still take credit for getting Barbara and John together!

Matthew Smith

January 23, 2023

He was a profound, important influence to me. I miss him.

Barbara

October 30, 2022

Memorial to John at Christ Church United Methodist, NYC

Liz Haak

April 12, 2022

I first heard about John early in 1999, when he started dating my long-time friend Barbara. Later that year John accompanied Barbara to Viet Nam to adopt Grace. In the coming months, I could see John´s love for Grace, like when he carried Grace piggyback, teaching her to shoo pigeons, because: "Shooing pigeons gives a small child a feeling of power-something they rarely have."

When they married in 2006, I was Barbara´s maid of honor. At the reception, John´s wit was on display: "I asked my friends if a man should get married at 70. They said, `Oh, yes, at 70, a man really should settle down." After a few more jokes, Barbara interrupted him: "I thought you were going to toast the bride!"
"Oh, yes," replied John, "I´m getting to that..."
In Sept 2009, Barbara and John hosted my 65th birthday party in their backyard. Afterward, Barbara told me the party was John´s idea-"Liz will never do that for herself." He was so right.
In the spring of 2011, John surprisingly asked me to work as his office assistant. John´s late, beloved sister Margaret had done his medical billing, but I had no experience. Unconcerned, he offered a generous salary for part-time work, and the ability to work from home. I took the job!
John had a passion for practicing psychiatry. He truly put his patients first. If a patient´s insurance lapsed, John saw them until they were covered again. He also took "pro bono" patients. John´s patients appreciated his office niceties: the vase of daisies on his desk, the dish of miniature candies he kept on the side table with the tissues.
In 2018, John reluctantly closed his office, in part due to his health. Patients called and sent notes expressing their concern, saying how much they would miss him. Most telling: the silent testimony of hundreds of patient files representing everyone John had helped in his 50 years of practice.

Debbie Arbogast

February 22, 2022

A year later, I'm sure you miss him as much today as the day he passed away -- he was your best friend! First and foremost, I knew he was a wonderful man when I saw how happy he made you. Not many men would have gone off to Vietnam before you were even married to support you when you adopted Grace -- that also said a lot about John to me. Finally, it meant a lot that your friends, Steve and I, immediately became his friends. Every time we got together he showed great interest in us and what was happening in our lives. Clearly John was something special, and your world was better for having him in it. RIP John.

Barbara Kurka

January 26, 2022

I miss his smile.

Christine MacMurray

January 24, 2022

Thinking about you, Barbara, at this difficult time.

Stanley L. Portnow, M.D.

January 23, 2022

I first met John Graham in 1970 or 1971 when he was a resident in psychiatry at Bellevue Hospital and I was the Unit Chief for Forensic Psychiatry. I had recently returned from service in Vietnam. One day there was an unexpected knock on my office door. In entered this tall, serious looking resident named Dr. Graham. He felt it urgent and necessary to seek me out, without the delay of an appointment, to inform me that he disapproved of a particular medication I had prescribed for a patient who was now under his care as a resident. My initial reaction was to push the emergency button to alert the Correction Dept. staff and have him removed from my office. For some reason, this was probably related to my new non-military status, I decided to hear him out. John objected to my use of a new anti-psychotic intramuscular drug administered to his patient although the drug was included in the hospital formulary and in use in other parts of the hospital. He was concerned that not enough research had been done on the drug and the side effects were not well known and that we, as physicians, had a responsibility to do no harm. My scheduled appointment was at the door and I dismissed John by inviting him to lunch to continue our "discussion." That was the beginning of a warm, close relationship which lasted until his passing some 50 years later. John and I spent considerable amounts of time together at Bellevue at conferences, hospital parties, etc. (I have a great picture of John serving food at one of the hospital Christmas parties.)

There was a time when a psychiatric nurse on John's service was up on charges relating to her inability to discharge her duties. This particular individual was somewhat disabled but they had hired her and she had worked with her disability for years before the administration decided to eliminate her at a time when the hospital was under financial duress. John contacted me and together we decided to defend this nurse by being expert witnesses at her departmental trial. When the day arrived we both attended the trial. John was scheduled to speak first and I was second. I was able to hear John's booming patrician voice from outside the room. When he finished I prepared to enter, but John came out of the room all smiling telling me my testimony was not necessary. It developed that after his testimony the charges against the nurse were dropped.

My last physical interaction with John Graham was in his office with his faithful assistant, Liz Haak, In the face of the physical assaults brought on by his terminal illness. John was downsizing his office and notifying patients. Although he couldn't find his pen or remember something for his computer his all encompassing love and reverence for patients was very much the most important thing for him and for that I will always remember and honor him.

Stan Portnow

Mark Wichern

August 25, 2021

I had the good fortune of being a patient of Dr. Graham's for over 30 years. He was a wonderful doctor who provided counsel during anxious and uncertain times in my life. And while I never got to know him on the personal level that so many people in these remembrances have, there's been nothing said that would surprise me. He was an eloquent, well read, understanding man who made me a stronger person. I owe him a debt of gratitude for which I could never possibly repay. I miss him. May he rest in peace. Mark Wichern

John Sloane

August 20, 2021

John Graham - a Remembrance

I did not know John as well as I wish I had, especially after hearing all the heartfelt appreciation of the man he was. My wife Madelyn and I met him and his first wife, Mavourneen, through his brother Mike, my brother-in-law - and visited with them for Christmas in New York when I was in my psychiatric residency in Hartford Connecticut, fifty years ago. They were not only gracious hosts, showing us around the Big Apple and walking through Central Park, but very generously giving us an "antique" oil lamp, "converted" to electricity. (A prescient message there?) They served us roast goose, something we´ve never had before or since - and, of course, animated conversation about psychiatry and what a "crazy" place Bellevue was! We shared a calling to do something about the madness at the core of humanity - our own and others´ - but took different paths to "the heart of darkness". John was a passionate fighter for truth, justice and well-being in the world, from whom I could have learned a thing or two. I was more contemplative, if not fearful and doubtful of my ability to make a difference, let alone a "century" ;-).

Madelyn and I have been deeply saddened by John´s anguish and losses over the years, but also gladdened by the Christmas tree-ornaments he´s sent - and especially by his discovery of Barbara and his sharing of such joy at their wedding. What would any of us do without a soul-mate? Especially in the face of such madness destroying Truth, Justice, Democracy and Human decency in recent years!

John´s intuitive, compassionate gift of light has kept me company in my self-analytic morning musings where I try to find words for what ails and inspires us, learning the hard way about what we do unconsciously that sometimes repeats our own heartbreak in the quest for healing;

Thank you, John and Barbara, and all who gave us a fuller glimpse of a "man after my own heart".

John Sloane

Julia Graham

August 15, 2021

I feel so lucky to have had John Graham as my uncle. I remember his exuberance, passion, warmth, laugh and zest for life. And what seemed to me to be his New York sophistication - he introduced me to oysters, goose instead of turkey for Christmas, as well as the idea that a man might actually cook! But most of all he always left me feeling I was a beloved niece, and he welcomed me into his home, and his family, for weeks at a time when I was a teenager and in my early twenties. He made me feel utterly at home, with never even a hint that, as someone sleeping in his living room for a month, I might be causing the slightest inconvenience. Thank you dear Uncle John, for all you gave and taught me, and for the inspiration you will always provide. And dear Barbara, Grace, Anton and Isaac, please know that I am thinking of you and sending all my love. Julia x

Paul Heim

August 14, 2021

I met John in 1968 at Bellevue when we started our residency program. At the very first meeting of the diverse group of residents, who could not have noticed John with that sophisticated South African accent and a determined clear voice. But getting to know him and have him as a lasting friend over the years left me with an appreciation of a very special person full of empathy, authenticity, and humanity. He attended my wedding in 1969 and Judy also enjoyed his friendship. I never thought we would leave New York but the Army moved us to Hawaii in 1971 after completion of the residency. I will always remember his visit to Kailua when Anton was a little boy. The flowers reminded him of Cape Town. We never moved back to NY but whenever visiting we´d always stop off in Park Slope to see John and did get to meet Isaac. We were also so grateful that John, Barbara and Grace visited us in San Francisco. We felt so good that they had found each other and were so fulfilled.
I am grateful to have had John´s friendship and will cherish the memories.

Hugh Graham

August 7, 2021

I have fond memories of my Uncle John. I particularly enjoyed talking about politics with him and I admired his passion and knowledge about the subject, and for his interest in social justice. He always took an interest in what I was doing and was a sympathetic listener when times were tough. I remember him as being upbeat and gregarious. I have fond memories of visiting the family in Brooklyn when I was younger, and seeing him later in life during visits in Toronto and London. And chatting to him on the phone when I was home in Toronto for Christmas holidays. Reading the wonderful tributes here, I wish I had been able to spend more time with him. He will be missed. Please accept my condolences Barbara and Grace.

Christine MacMurray

August 6, 2021

Dear Barbara and Grace, I have a special memory of John--and I'm sure you can guess what it is. You two met at a party at my apartment!! So I am responsible for you two getting married!! Well, not really. But I did introduce you. And, when you developed a relationship and decided to get married, I was thrilled. My thoughts are with you.

Carolyn Marvel

August 2, 2021

The Marvel family lived next door to John for many years here in Brooklyn on Prospect Place. When our children were young we used o go to Prospect Park and our son Owen was taught baseball by John for a couple of years with my husband assisting with the other boys playing. It was great. In Johns years of worjk we would cross paths near the subway at Bergen as we both worked in hospitals in N.Y.C and exchanged words from time to time. He was very independent and declined any help when offered as getting up those stairs was quiet a challenge sometimes. I admired his courager at the end of his life as seemed cheerful and was very happy to be at home with Barbara and Grace. Our sympathy comes your way to all his family and remember the good times and enjoy those moments. Kindest regards from Carolyn, Owen, Kimberly and my husband Joe in absentia,

Angel Nicolas

August 2, 2021

John was a story teller. I will miss those random stories/lessons about History.

Barbara and Grace I love you.

Janice Davidson

July 30, 2021

Our deepest sympathy to Barbara, Grace and family. We recall a lovely visit to our former home when Grace was a little girl. Rest In Peace John.

Lorna Fisher

July 28, 2021

John, you have been an inspiration to so many people.
Your determination to become a Medical Doctor against your Father's wishes. Achieving the degree he wanted you to, then going off and studying further.
Years ago, I met a maid in Cape Town, South Africa, who knew you from your time in Postmasburg, and she said how wonderful, how caring and thoughtful you were. An amazing Doctor.
But that was just YOU. Your outreach to the many patients you encounted in New York. Their well being was your top priority.
Your presence will be sorely missed. As well to your loving family, Barbara, Grace and your two sons, Anton and Isaac.
Rest in peace John, and enjoy being in our Heavenly Home.
Love from your cousin Lorna Graham (now Fisher) and from us all , the Fisher Family , Mount Isa , Australia.

Sandy Young

July 22, 2021

My beloved cousin, John Graham, passed away in early January after struggling for many years with crippling arthritis and lung disease. He was 84 and had lived with pain for many years, but he remained alert, and attuned to the workings of contemporary politics, to the very end. John was an extraordinary man, smart, funny, passionately attentive to the world and its struggles, committed to doing what he could to create a better world for people who were vulnerable, whether through his work as a psychiatrist, or through exercising his right to vote, or through his many acts of generosity, particularly in helping to create educational opportunities. He was very conscious of his own good fortune in being able to secure a good education, despite growing up in very modest circumstances outside Cape Town, South Africa, and he was also acutely aware and responsive to the fact that he was a beneficiary of the injustice of apartheid and that he therefore had an obligation to find ways to make a difference to the lives of those who were not. He was very supportive of an educational Trust my husband and I set up to support an excellent education for two wonderful young South African boys. John gave generously since its inception and relished seeing the boys grown and flourish as a result of this support and the opportunities it enabled.

My husband Rolfe and I got to spend time with John and Barbara while we were living in New York, much to our delight. He was a great cook, and a warm and welcoming host, and we loved being able to debate in detail current politics, whether in South Africa, the States, or the City of New York under Mayor Guiliani, as it was then. He was a wonderful man, in so many ways, and we are grateful for the gift of our friendship, and for the example he set of how to be in the world.

I feel so grateful to Barbara and to Grace for their deep love of John, which I know brought him such joy.

Joy Taylor

July 20, 2021

My memories of John are all of John with you, dear Barbara. He was such a great gentleman! I especially remember when you told me he was accompanying you to Vietnam to get your (and soon his) daughter, Grace. I also remember connecting re: Cuba when my daughter Becky and I went on the same journey with a group from Key West and the Bringing Hope Foundation summer 2008. Small world! A dear man, I know you and Grace must sorely miss him daily. . .Sending love--and may your wonderful memories bring you peace. joy

Michael Graham

June 27, 2021

A Heartfelt Brotherly Tribute

John and I went our respective ways in our early twenties. That was a very long time for our brotherly ties to loosen and our always-different philosophies to widen. Not that this took away from our family bonds or the respect we always had for one another, just that we increasingly became the different people we always were.

John was always the most forthright of the two of us, never rude or antagonistic but never hesitating to stand up for his beliefs and speak his mind - right back to a young boy calling out how he liked bananas at the church´s annual harvest service.

Hard work and application were central to both of us. In John´s case, his part time job to help pay his way through university was as a waiter at a Sea Point restaurant, which meant long, late-night treks home to Bellville. On graduating with a B. Comm., he announced to our parents it would now be his turn to pursue his real interests, initially he thought in the church but subsequently in medicine and later in psychiatry.

His year as a GP in Postmasburg, a small town in the northern Cape Province, where in spite of apartheid John treated all his patients with equal respect, brought him much professional satisfaction before he decided to emigrate to New York to launch his career in psychiatry at the Bellevue.

John excelled at cricket from the earliest age, beginning with impromptu games on the street with a tennis ball, paraffin tin (as the wicket) and homemade bats. At the local club level, I remember his older brother running him out in the first ball of a match causing prolonged brotherly tension. His switch from Commerce to Medicine saw him become a fixture on the elite University of Cape Town first eleven (cricket team), where he won his Blue and went on to be chosen for the South African Universities team, where he made a coveted century (100 runs) against Transvaal. Had he wanted, he could well have gone on to play cricket at the international level, he was that good.

On a family note, I will always respect him for his support of our sister, Margaret, when she moved from Vancouver to New York after her major surgery. As well, for the three still-active bursaries he set up at the University of Cape Town medical school in her and my parents´ memories.

As for his own family, I remember his huge pride on the arrivals of Anton and Isaac, and an affection I can vouch he cherished for both of them right to the end.

Barbara, thank you for giving him the happy twenty or more years of affection he yearned for, and thank you, Grace, for the beloved and lively daughter you became for him.

Well played, and rest in peace, my spirited and principled brother, after your biggest and most memorable innings of all.

Fondly and respectfully,

Michael

Elma Brooke Day

May 29, 2021

We would have a big family lunch each New Year's day at our home in Pinelands, Cape Town, after which John would take us youngsters to Newlands to watch the cricket. Of course, we used to call him Moosie, which was his family nickname, started by brother Michael, who, as a toddler not quite two years old, was still learning to speak.
Moosie was always kind and we loved our big cousin.

Anne Schuman

May 28, 2021

My association with John does not go back to Medical School or Capetown and 1960, but it does go back to NYC and 1976 or so. John was the first of Ian's friends that I met and for the next 45 years remained my favorite and dearest. John was always the lively one, the provocative one, above all the one with whom one could engage politically without rancor. I miss him so much.

Ian Yudelman

May 28, 2021

I met John in our first year at UCT in 1960. After medical school we were a team on the surgical unit, which meant for 6 m,onths, 24/7 we were constantly helping each other. It was there that I saw first hand John's integrity, reliability, professionalism, and sense of humor. We lost touch but reconnected when I arrived in NYC in 1972 and picked up where we had left off in CapeTown. In due course, John was Best Man at my wedding with Anne.
Over the years, a call from John invariably included passionate embraces of one event or another and provocative opinions with much enthusiasm. How else can I explain a 4:00 AM bus ride with Anne and John to Montgomery County, PA in 2014 to register voters! Although PA voted Republican, Montgomery County went blue, and that was thanks to John's urging our participation.
John was a voracious reader and loved to share his new found knowledge, which allowed the conversation to wander over the landscape. Boy, he really could change conversational gears quickly, but that was because we learned to drive using a stick shift.
All in all, John was an adventurous, passionate spirit, without arrogance, always ready to help, and he was my friend.
I miss him greatly.

Barbara Kurka

May 12, 2021

John and I met in 1998 at a mutual friend’s Christmas party. As week or so after the party, my friend called to ask if I remembered John. He had called her to ask her to contact me and see if he could call and ask me out. That was so different from anyone else I had dated, I was intrigued and said yes.

John and I should have met months earlier. In October, another friend told me she knew of one single man she could introduce to me. He was 62, divorced, a psychiatrist. I politely declined. I had just started the process of single parent adoption, and told her I didn’t think I would have the energy for a possible relationship.

What changed? Fate, perhaps. Instinct: John’s approach struck me as sweet, a little shy, and kind.

We had our first date on January 15, 1999, where John declared us “soul-mates,” and were together ever since. After a few dates, I told John about my plans to adopt from Vietnam. A couple months later, he asked to go with me. My eventual answer was to give him a copy of, “A Guide to Vietnam.” So in December, we headed to Hanoi to get four-month-old Grace. (The trip is a story in itself.) We arrived on December 8th, and Grace arrived on December 9th. Of many memories of that trip, one stands out. Grace cried a lot, especially at night. One evening, John took her into the bedroom, wrapped her in a blanket, put her on his chest, and lay on the bed for three hours, until she finally cried herself out. That act said everything about him.

We were engaged in 2004, and married on October 7th, 2006. Grace called John, “Dad,” from the beginning, and he made it official on June 6, 2007. D-Day become Daddy Day for us.

We had many adventures: two trips to South Africa, the first to celebrate John’s 40th medical school reunion, including safaris. Ringing in 2008 in Havana, Cuba. Taking Grace to Vietnam to see her birth country, and more travels.

John was kind, caring, funny, generous, steadfast, stubborn and not afraid to voice an opinion. He had integrity and a strong sense of justice. John was endlessly curious about people and helped so many. He was the love of my life. I miss him.

Anthony Fisher

April 26, 2021

I remember meeting John Graham (my cousin once removed) in 2008 in NYC. I was impressed by a man who had such vitality and lucidity at a solid age and also a touch of grace in his care for and company with others. I loved visiting him, Barbara and Grace over the years when I lived in Syracuse. I have many fond memories of their hospitality, typically for the holidays. I recall the wonderful roast duck and splendid red cabbage cooked in lots of red wine and salt for Christmas. He loved New York and I remember walking with him through the subway when I was new to the States. I was taken in by someone so at home and comfortable with navigating the city with such ease. I also managed to visit them when I had left New York state but came back for work stints. I admired his determination and optimism and I thoroughly enjoyed talking about cricket, politics and history over a glass of quality scotch. He had a decent knock. Rest in peace, John.

My parents (Mark and Lorna) have older memories of him. They tell me his determination is a life-long characteristic. He always wanted to be a doctor but his father (Richard) was not so keen and encouraged him to go into business. So John went off to get his BComm as instructed, presented it to his father, and then proceeded to fulfil his ambition of becoming a doctor. His first post as a qualified doctor was in the Northern Cape, South Africa 1965-68, after which he headed to North America, where he remained for the rest of his career. My parents also miss him dearly.

David Brooke

April 16, 2021

I wish we had lived closer to each other and were closer in age as his determination, high standards and principles and hard work whether in his profession or in sport. The last time we saw each other was after a celebratory dinner of Michael's in London and as we parted John gave me a bearhug, so unexpected but so affectionate. I guess just being together that evening evoked so many memories for both of us. May he rest in peace.

Doug Lincoln

March 28, 2021

My cousin John and I were born and grew up in the same city, Cape Town. Even though we both made our future lives in North America, John in New York and me in Toronto, our backgrounds meant that we shared much in common. Our get-togethers, sadly too infrequent, were always a joy. John was engaging, warm and full of optimism, and never shy to speak his mind. I'll miss the wonderful conversations I had with him. God be with you John, and rest in peace.

Dale Brown

March 23, 2021

John was bigger than life. A kind gentle man who had a wonderful laugh and great wisdom. When he looked at you he really looked you in the eye. He loved good food and stimulating conversation. I loved it when he, Barbara, and Grace came to my Passover Seders. We had tremendous fun and a lot of laughter. He so loved Barbara and Grace with his entire being. My deep sympathies to the family. May his memory be a blessing for all who knew him.

Matthew B. Smith

March 6, 2021

He was a likeable, competent, gifted colleague. An he was often something of a mentor. He will not be forgoten.

Jackie DeGroat and Jay Rice

March 6, 2021

What wonderful stories of John's active (and activist) career at Bellevue! We met him after all this, when our sister-in-heart Barbara and our baby niece Grace moved to Brooklyn to be with him. He had a wry sense of humor and strong opinions, and he was always ready to discuss politics. We were part of their beautiful wedding, and had some festive meals celebrating birthdays and the 4th of July with them in their patio garden. John and Barbara and Grace and their cat and dog made a happy family! And John and Barbara were brave partners in traveling to the end of his life together. We will always be glad we knew John.

Stanley L Portnow

February 25, 2021

Gentle Physician
Insightful Psychiatrist
Most honorable Man
Silver-tongued Orator
First Among Peers
True Patriot
Old Friend

"Good night sweet Prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!"

Stan Portnow

Martin Geller

February 22, 2021

I remember John as a tower of strength with an inimitable accent. He led the hapless physicians of Bellevue Psychiatry courageously against the evil Trujillo, ever onward into the courtroom and to triumph. A fearless leader, a superb physician, a magnificent friend.

Ebrahim Kermani

February 21, 2021

I know just a few men who ascended to the highest level of rectitude, integrity combined with bravery and selflessness as John Graham did.
I met John in the mid 70's in Bellevue Hospital where we both were a Junior Attending in the Department of Psychiatry. We had two different opposing backgrounds, John from Anglo race and culture, born in South Africa to parents of Christianity faith. I from the Middle East, born in Iran and raised in an Islamic society. The differences are self evident. I see no need to explore further. In spite of such vast differences we had identical views of society, justice and human needs. I always had admiration for John in my heart and maybe unconsciously I was identifying myself with him. I believed in him and my beliefs were enhanced during a half century of friendship.
John in the early 90's was elected President of Bellevue Psychiatric Association. He nominated me as Vice President. John had such popularity among his colleagues that his support for any nominee would guarantee a landslide.
Six months or so after we took the reign of the Association we suddenly came to cross uncharted territory. The newly appointed Director Dr. Trujillo, with the backing of powerful people both from the City of New York and NYU Medical Center decided to obliterate our Association. In order to do so, Trujillo and his coward allies in the Administration fired the entire Leadership of Our Association. The excuse was budgetary problems. Now the Leadership of John Graham had to be tested.
The legal fight continued for five years. Eventually the Second Circuit Court sided with our Association and ordered NYU to "Make Us Whole" at the cost of estimated 3 million dollars in those days to NYU. The cost to the Association was approximately $60,000.
This case has 50 page plus opinion by the second highest court of the land. (NYU Medical Center v NLRB September 1998). This landmark case changed the law. It is part of the reading list in many Law Schools. All those accomplishments were done under the leadership of Dr. John Graham.
As I earlier mentioned we had two distinct different upbringings which formed our personality, but our view was the same "don't hesitate to fight what you believe is right." We put our career at stake which easily could of been demolished by NYU.
I remember John and I filed an ethical complaint against Trujillo with the American Psychiatric Association. The Chairman of our department which up to that moment had a neutral position became over sensitive to the ethical complaint. It seems that they were mistakenly confident that the Court would rule in their favor, but Ethical complaint could result in different consequences.
I was amazed and praised John when he fearlessly and bravely testified in the Court of law and professional organization.
I believe the administration of the Department at that time offered John a lucrative position if he would withdraw his Ethical Complaint. I believed so because they offered me the same which I instantly refused.
John and I never spoke about the offer. I wish I would of told him, but now it is too late.
My memory of John and praise for him requires a textbook.
I end it here with the same phrase I started with...In the event of life very few ascend to the integrity level that John did. His off spring and wife Barbara will be proud of him.
There is a poem by Sadi, the Persian poet of the 12th Century, says" A good person never dies, the dead are those who leaves evil memories behind."
Rest in peace my "Comrade."
Dr. Kermani

S Peter Kim

February 20, 2021

I have known John since we started our psychiatry residency at NYU-Bellevue 1968. Always warm, smiling and sincere person who loved pursuing of a good and
meaningful life. A steady, dependable and manly friend of mine who always made me feel as if we never lived far apart whenever we spoke over the phone. He will be sorely missed with delightful hope and firm belief that we will soon meet together to continue our ongoing dialogues in pursuit of truth and everlasting love. May God bless your soul in new life in Heaven.
Your friend,
S Peter Kim

Gerard Sunnen

February 17, 2021

John and I go back to 1968, when, both eager to start our exciting residency program at New York’s Bellevue Hospital, we met face to face in the emergency unit on our first day. My immediate positive feelings rapidly grew enormously with time. Fit, tall, energetic and engaging, John formed positive bonds and friendships amazingly quickly and naturally. Never pretentious, he impressed by his directness, warmth and authenticity.

Our trajectories worked out so that he eventually became unit chief for one of Bellevue’s acute care psychiatric units, and I became his second. What amazingly rich experiences filled these twenty or so years working closely with John, caring for folks challenged by often puzzling mixtures of medical, neurological and psychiatric conditions, all in a context of sharing these intense experiences with knowledge-hungry medical students and interns.

John left an indelible mark on everyone and most gratifyingly on students keen to learn the best, most humane approaches to difficult patients. One of his pet reminders, “A psychiatrist is a physician, first” was often accompanied by anecdotes taken from his experiences as a family doctor in South Africa.
John never abused his authority. Instead, he projected a patriarchal aura that embodied deep beliefs in justice, equality for all, and the sanctity of the human spirit.

In addition to years of professional kinship in our field of psychiatry, more than anything we had a true and deep friendship that spanned many decades. We confided in one another and went through some of our most difficult times together always providing mutual supportbut certainly we had many uplifting and unforgettable times such as many a Christmas holiday shared, a long-time tradition that my family celebrated with John, Barbara and his family each year.

John is and will be deeply and lastingly missed by all who have been touched by his sincerity, forthrightness, generosity and the inspiration of his higher calling. I feel deep gratitude that John has been such an intrinsic part of my life.

Simone Taylor

February 1, 2021

May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well lived. Please except my sincerest condolences to you & your family for the loss of your loved one.

Harold Lincoln

February 1, 2021

A fondly remembered and sadly missed cousin.
RIP John

Liz Haak

January 29, 2021

John was a compassionate human being, devoted to his family and his patients. As a psychiatrist, he was an astute observer of human behavior and relationships.

Showing 1 - 39 of 39 results