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Rosamond Heroy Miller
1943 - 2015
Rosamond Heroy Miller
1943 - 2015
Obituary
Guest Book
Rosamond Miller Obituary
Of Aiea, Hawaii
May 22, 1943
To June 14, 2015
Rosamond Heroy Miller lived her life with happiness, grace and resilience. She had a quiet but powerful faith, and a deep love for her family and friends. These qualities carried her through life and into a peaceful death in Honolulu on June 14, 2015.
Ros was born May 22, 1943, in New York City, to Dr. William Ward and Rosamond Lee Heroy. She was the second of what would become a family of six girls.
Ros loved babies and children, truly. She worked at the New York Foundling Hospital, and after graduating from Marymount Junior College, Va., she worked in the Head Start early childhood education program.
Ros and her loving husband Tom had a remarkable life together. They met in Washington, D.C., in 1969, where Tom, who was a Vietnam vet in the US Navy, was a White House aide. They were married Sept. 12, 1970. He was a seagoing officer, commanding officer, a political affairs specialist, and a State Department official in his career.
Ros's daughter Rossie ('Iolani, '89 of Hilo) and son Ward ('Iolani '92, of Saudi Arabia) - with Tom - were the center of her world, and she took to mothering naturally, raising her family as Tom's career took them from D.C., to Japan and other stops along the way. They ended up in Hawaii, and there they stayed when Tom retired from the Navy as Executive Assistant to Commander - Chief –Pacific as a Captain.
Tom became Director of Pacific Forum, CIS, and later Headmaster of 'Iolani School, where Ros carried out the duties of being a faculty wife and headmaster's wife with her characteristic warmth and good humor. There wasn't a pretentious bone in her body. Everybody loved Ros.
Ros and Tom enjoyed adventure travel and had many excursions to Africa, Egypt, China, Southeast Asia and Latin America, to name a few. Ros loved nature and was thrilled with the wildlife and cultures they saw on their travels. She was curious, and thrived on detail and how people were treated.
In Hawaii, Ros continued her work with children at Kapiolani Medical Center for Women and Children, where she volunteered for 23 years, having responsibilities caring for and playing with young patients. She also gave orientation tours of the hospital for children's groups. She had a beautiful smile and the gift of putting everyone at ease, according to Lisa Chung, Director of Volunteer Services.
She also was a foster mother for several years, providing love and stability to newborn babies for a short while before having to let them go to adoptive parents.
Ros and Tom have two beautiful grandchildren, Sofie and Mukan Helms, who were the light of her life in recent years. She was their beloved "Tutu."
She enjoyed swimming, loved her kitties and was a wicked Yahtzee player.
Ros managed her rheumatoid arthritis with extraordinary patience, resourcefulness and courage, admired by all, which allowed her to live a full and happy life. The family thanks all her wonderful doctors and other medical staff throughout the years, and especially those who cared for her in her final days. Her "Dr. Hen" was Dr. David John, her rheumatologist.
Ros was a grounding force for all of us and we will miss her deeply, but we know she will be with us in spirit.
Survivors include her husband Tom Miller, daughter Rossie (Eric) Helms, son Ward (Dawn) Miller, grandchildren Sofie and Mukan Helms, sisters Sally Munday, Jane (Tom) Winn, Helen (Fred) Cuccia, Molly (Paul) Missonis and Chris (Mike) Henry, as well as many nieces, nephews, and dear friends.
Donations in her memory may be made to Kapiolani Medical Center's playroom, www.hawaiipacifichealth.org/kapiolani.
Services will be at 8:30 a.m. June 27, at Sts. Peter and Paul Church, 800 Kaheka St., Honolulu, Hawaii, 96814.
Burial will be at Punchbowl Cemetery in Honolulu at a later date.
Please sign the online guestbook at Borthwick Mortuary, www.dignitymemorial.com/borthwick-mortuary.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Alex Henry
July 30, 2015
Ros was such a great role model, and continues to be an inspiration to many. She had a rare combination of kindness and toughness that was so consistent it made you wonder if she was even capable of self pity or a moment of ill temper. As her nephew, I remember the gentle feeling of her hands when we would trade backrubs in South Hampton. I also remember when we would play Yahtzee, and she would make a little "woop" noise whenever she was trying a roll with long odds. Ros really had this life thing figured out, and I appreciate the opportunity to have known her.
July 23, 2015
Yet another PS from Sally!
Ros loved nature - wild life, animals, birds.... When we would take walks in the woods many years ago, while I would be admiring the view, she would get out her magnifying glass, and study the "small things"...a spider web up close, a leaf, a bug.
It broke her heart to see birds affected by oil spills, or hear about poaching elephants.
One day we were all sitting by the pool in Southampton having a visit with Mum and Dad, when a bee landed in the pool and started thrashing about in an effort to get free. It was Ros who got up from her chair and got in the pool. With two hands cupped around the bee, she scooped up the water and threw it in the air. Off flew a very grateful bee!
July 22, 2015
Another PS from Sally
Here is just one of hundreds of examples of how Ros did not let her Rheumatoid Arthritis get in the way of her life:
When Ros would drive to the Kapiolani Medical Center to volunteer in the children's playroom, she had to park in a garage. To get in the garage, one had to roll down the window and grab a ticket, which would open the little gate and let you in. She told me once that her hand was not strong enough to grab that ticket, so she had to stop the car, put it in park, get out, and grab the ticket with both hands in order to get it. She would then get back in the car and proceed into the garage.
Jane Winn
July 20, 2015
From sister Jane for Ros
ROS REMEMBERANCE
Sweet Ros! She meant so much to all of us. She was genuine, generous, and always put other's needs before her own. She was down to earth, approachable, and chose to keep life simple; and for those qualities, she was a reassuring source of advice and comfort to all of us. No other person would be able to navigate 40 years of relentless rheumatoid arthritis with as much strength, will, courage, and grace as Ros did. She was simply remarkable. And because she was who she was, she was so very deeply loved by all who knew her.
TOM: Ros was a loving, caring, wife and soul mate to Tom for all the years. She knew and understood him better than anyone. Tom could always count on Ros to be there for him, to keep their life together simple, cheerful, cozy, and fun. Whether they were traveling together to exotic far off places, or teasing each other and talking silly to their cats alone at home, they felt the completely comfortable kind of ease with each other that comes after a lifetime of being married. Tom, you took such total care of her as her condition became severe, and she appreciated everything you did to help her when she needed you. And, Tom, we know your heart is broken, and you will miss your Ros more than words can say. I believe that if you listen quietly to your heart, you will hear her familiar comforting words at times when you least expect it.
ROSSIE: You and your Mom had that special closeness between mother and daughter that most people only dream of. You both shared a sensitivity and softness that went beyond ordinary kindness and awareness of other peoples' needs. For you and your Mom have the most tender of hearts, making you both so easy to love. But she also showed you even sensitive people like you and she can be amazingly strong when called upon to be so.
I am sure it was not unusual for you and your Mom to cry together one minute, and find yourselves laughing together the next. That is how close you were. While Ros was treating Bunny B and Perkins like real live animals, you, Rossie, were dressing up Habibi in trendy, amusing outfits, which only shows you that you have your Mom's sense of humor as well. She taught you how to find the joy in simple things in life, and obviously you use that gift well.
You share far more than her name, you share her very soul. You will always carry a big piece of your Mom with you; carry it proudly, and continue to spread the kind of goodness she did. You are your mother's special daughter.
WARD: I don't think that your Mom and I ever had a phone call that didn't include us singing the praises of our wonderful sons, Ward and Patrick. She loved her big strong son, with his ever so kind heart and gentle manner. I remember her telling me of one time you were sitting together on the sofa, and you just naturally lay your big man's head on her little shoulder. It was a moment she loved, and she said she would always remember and treasure that simple, yet, oh so tender, act. She was so proud of you, Ward; not only for being so confident and capable, but even more so for your great big generous soul. You have that same unconditional kindness that she had..what a gift.
Your Mom knew she could always count on you, her rock solid son. You bring an air of confidence and calmness with you to any situation. Your Mom would say, in so many words, With Ward around, I can relax'. She waited for you when she was in the hospital, and it was only after she heard your voice, and felt your kiss and reassuring presence that she could allow herself to fully relax and let go. She loved her Wardie' ever so much.
ERIC: Ros trusted and loved you like her own son, and had complete respect for you as a fine doctor, loving and understanding husband to Rossie, and a caring father to Sofie and Mukan. She marveled at how you had this way of calmly turning chaotic moments, (moments that all parents experience), into orderly, relaxed scenes. Mostly she often remarked about what a perfect husband and father you were to her precious daughter and grandchildren.
DAWN: It was a joyful day when Ward brought Dawn into this family. Ros used to say she couldn't ask for a more thoughtful, genuine person for Ward. It gave her such peace knowing what a perfect wife you were for Ward, so grounded, yet always up for an adventure..Where are we moving to now?
SOFIE: Sofie, Tutu loved you as much as you love Boo Boo, and that's a lot! She was so proud of you for how hard you worked to become a beautiful and graceful dancer. But mostly she was proud of the thoughtful, kind, and grown up young lady she saw that you were becoming.
MUKAN; Tutu loved you so much, Mukan! She loved your ever-present big happy smile and your sense of joy. She marveled at how well you could read at such a young age, enjoyed watching your cool karate moves, and was just so proud of you! But mostly she loved you for being your own joyful, active, sometimes silly, but always happ self.
SISTERS: As far as us five sisters are concerned, Ros was by far the sweetest, kindest, and most generous of us all. She and Sally were not only roommates growing up, they were soul mates. Ros was always the sister we all would reach out to when we had a problem and needed some comfort and reassurance. I would look forward to calling her and hear her sweet voice say, Now there's my Janie! In good times and bad, she was always there for us.
She touched so many people in her life that I couldn't begin to name them all. But those of us who were lucky enough to know and love her will carry her special Ros essence with us wherever we go. We can all aspire to be like her, but we will never quite achieve the amount of goodness she did. Surely, however, she will be watching us try, and will cheer us on in her own beautiful way.
I will end with my final words to her: Relax; I love you, Ros; sleep tight; goodnight
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Lisa Chung
July 20, 2015
This message is from Lisa Chung, volunteer director for Kapi'olani.
A Tribute to Ros Miller
Ros had a contagious, glowing smile! Her dedication and commitment to helping others made her the perfect volunteer role model for both high school and adult volunteers.
We have known Ros for almost 20 of her 23 yrs. at Kapiolani Medical Center. Ros specialized in doing school tours for pre-school through intermediate aged children. Her patience and love for children made our school tours a popular request.
In most recent years Ros spent her time assisting the Playroom Child Life Specialists playing board games and doing activities with patients, reading a story, or just keeping company with a sick child and sometimes their siblings. She enjoyed escorting our Pet Therapy volunteers and their pet dog to visit patients in their rooms. Ros would make sure she got some pet time too.
During the past several weeks Ros updated me on her condition and goal to return, we assured her that her schedule in the Playroom was reserved. Her physical challenges did not get in her way as demonstrated in her strength and selflessness.
Ros had a warmth about her that comforted all those she came in contact with--
patients, families, and staff. Her caring ways, patience and graciousness made everyone around her feel welcomed. Her comforting voice and comments were always filled with words of encouragement.
With the legacy that Ros has left behind she has helped to set a standard for our volunteer program. Positive, caring, and giving. We will miss her dearly.
Chris Henry
July 20, 2015
These thoughts were shared by the staff of Kapiolani Medical Center for Women & Children, where Ros volunteered for 23 years.
Ros
Words of Remembrance from Kapiolani Medical Center for Women & Children's Playroom Staff
The second to last week that Ros volunteered in Kapiolani Medical Center's playroom, we asked her what qualities and skills make an outstanding volunteer. Who better to ask than Ros? (our dream volunteer a person whom we have come to love and deeply respect). She expressed to us that she felt each playroom volunteer should be flexible, helpful, cheerful, reliable, and possess a deep love and interest in children. She then added, Most importantly, a playroom volunteer should want to be in the playroom.
Ros elegantly exemplified these characteristics and made her work with patients a priority in her life. Even with her physical challenges, Ros never yielded and continued to approach her volunteer work with a level of herculean strength, selflessness, and dedication that not only touched and inspired each staff member, but also deeply benefited the families, patients, and other playroom volunteers. Ros was the type of person who would take the playroom's high school volunteers under her wing, voicing motherly concern about their wellbeing and academics. She consistently checked in with how we the staff were doing, and took genuine interest in all of our passions and hobbies. In Ros's tenure of over 23 years, Kapiolani staff saw her not only help patients to cope with their hospitalization, but watched her somehow impart important life values through her play and gentle conversation.
What we will remember about Ros, and strive to embody in her memory, is her presence. Ros's sheer presence calmed the often-times chaotic playroom. Anyone who met her felt instantly close to her. Ros saw our small department change and grow, and she was the constant joyful presence --our beam of light-- that supported us and the patients through all of it.
From Kapiolani Medical Center's playroom staff: With deep respect, love, and aloha we hold your memory in our heart and will aim to realize what you stand for in our work with patients.
Heather Fannon
July 20, 2015
This note was sent to Ros from Heather Fannon on 7/11/15.
Dear Sweet Aunt Ros,
I want you to know you have been in my prayers long before Mom told me you had been hospitalized. You have always been a silent fighter. You have quietly, fiercely, yet politely battled disease states and physical pain that would have taken many down long long ago. Yet you didn't give up. You raised 2 beautiful and loving children, whom you were able to see wedded to loving and wonderful spouses. And you battled your way through to see 2 beautiful grandchildren delivered by the grace of God, right into your loving arms and boundless heart.
Now, on your terms, you politely get to excuse yourself from the pain that has tormented you for a lifetime. You shall arrive in Heaven, wrapped in God's embrace and will live an eternal life free of pain and suffering. From there we know you will watch over us. With love.
I love you, Aunt Ros. I will always remember your sweet voice and kind manner. I will always remember you as a fierce and silent fighter, who wouldn't let illness or disease stop you from living your LIFE with the upmost of GRACE and LOVE.
My heart is with you, Aunt Ros. I pray for your comfort and peace.
Your niece,
Heather
Molly Missonis
July 20, 2015
"Hello to everyone gathered here. I'm sorry not to be there in person, but I will be there in spirit, to say goodbye to Ros and share her love with all those whose lives she touched. She's going to leave a bit of a vaccuum, I'm afraid. So many people loved her and were proud to know her. She was my sister whom, I got to know more probably later in life than growing up. She was number 2 of 6. I was number 5 of 6.
She was always easy to talk to and I enjoyed and admired her spirit of adventure. Others will of all her numerous virtues. I concur with everything. It's hard to put into words what our own relationship was, but it was special. And it was special for her husband, her daughter, her son, her grandchildren, in laws, friends, doctors, her sisters. Am I right? She had a lot to share. We will miss her, but celebrate the good times we have had with her.
Ros, thank you for being a part of my life, of our lives and goodbye for now. I love you always."
Ml, Molly
(sent 7/16/15)
Joan Laurie
July 18, 2015
P.S. from Joan Laurie ...
Sally and Rossie,
Your stories about Cheeser are such a funny, funny memory of Ros. He was indeed a true character in her life! When I visited, we laughed & talked about him whenever we got in to the car. So much so that I had to go find a little 'Cheeser, Jr.' for myself!. It does my heart good to remember these little moments. Thanks !
July 17, 2015
PS From Sally
Ros' car mouse, Cheeser, not only went to the movies. He was at Ros' funeral. My niece, Rossie Helms, and I had great fun one afternoon walking around the mall looking for just the right attire for Cheeser. In Claire's, a hair accessory/ cheap jewelry kind of place we found a small hair clip with a black bow and a band for his waist. Perfect! As we paid for it, Rossie told the cashier "now our little Mousie will look just fine!" The cashier gave us a strange look! But there was Cheeser at the funeral, right by the sign in book! I know Ros would have approved of that!!
July 15, 2015
July 15, 2015
July 15, 2015
July 15, 2015
July 15, 2015
Ward & Rossie gave their Mom a beautiful eulogy
July 15, 2015
July 15, 2015
Sisters together
July 15, 2015
With sisters and Rose, 2013
July 15, 2015
July 15, 2015
"You will always be a part of me "
Chris Henry
July 15, 2015
Ros & Tom at Anna Miller's
Chris Henry
July 15, 2015
Chris Henry
July 15, 2015
Chris Henry
July 15, 2015
Chris Henry
July 15, 2015
Chris Henry
July 15, 2015
Chris Henry
July 15, 2015
Tutu & Sofie
Chris Henry
July 15, 2015
Mukan & Tutu
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
Jack & Annie, her beloved kitties
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
Ros, Chris & Sally
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
Cheeser, another faithful travel buddy
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
Perkins traveled everywhere with Ros
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
With Ward & Dawn
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
Auntie Ros & Rose
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
Southampton 2010
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
Ros & Sal
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
The Heroy sisters 2010
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
Ros volunteered at Kapiolani hospital for more than 20 years.
Chris Henry
July 14, 2015
July 14, 2015
From Sally
I knew Ros for all of her 72 years. She was my roommate sister, growing up with five sisters in Huntington, New York. If we would disagree about something, one would say to the other "get out of my half of the room". And she, or I, would leap over the imaginary line down the middle of our room. I didn't have to say it very often, though. She had 23 stuffed animals, lining the top shelf of our closet [including MY half of the shelf] and her heart was as soft as the softest stuffed animal.
As we grew up and left home, we always stayed in touch. And for the last 15 plus years, I have been able to visit her annually in Hawaii. Spending time with her was relaxed and easy going, whether we were talking or silent together. We went to cardiologists, rheumatologists, exercise class, lunch with friends at Neiman Marcus, and to her volunteer work in the children's playroom in the hospital. We drove to the North Shore and ate at our all time favorite restaurant, Jamison's, on the ocean. And every year we made our annual trek down to McDonald's in our nightgowns for a bedtime shake.
She had a little stuffed mouse, named Cheeser, whose place was in her car in the cup holder on the console. Cheeser always had to have a drink of whatever she was drinking, and so there would be Cheeser with a straw to his mouth, having a sip of Diet coke, most probably. One day on our way to a movie, I brought Cheeser, and stuck him in my purse with his little head sticking out. We laughed so hard, I thought we wouldn't be able to walk into the movie. "Sal, put him away. It's too embarrassing!" [But I didn't put him away. He quite enjoyed the movie!]
One day while driving home, just as she was coming down that last stretch of road to her home, she suddenly stopped and started to back up. What was it, I wondered! It was a Rooster and his family of chickens wandering around the road. She stopped, rolled down the window and said, "Hello, Roo, how ARE you: And how is your family?"
We talked on the phone at least once a week, often more than that. Ridiculous as it might seem, I would whine to her about my arthritis. Somehow, with Ros, I found myself sharing just about everything, and she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. If I would would say to her "Ros, I am really loosing it. I'm getting so spacey!", she would assure me "you have always been that way!" And she should know! I remember the time I was in the 7th grade and we were leaving on a trip for Florida, when I left my purse on the top of the car. And yes, I remember the hair rollers in the refrigerator! So lately, if I have misplaced something, Ros would say to me "have you checked the refrigerator?"
My instinct is still to pick up the phone and call Ros. For example, whenever I balance my checkbook, that merited a call to Ros. So, soooo many memories, that continue to flood me.... But perhaps the most poignant, and treasured, were the days I spent with her in the hospital the week before she died. As usual, we could talk or be silent together. That week we talked about the hard things. I was able tell her that I know I will never lose her love, and that I would be okay. She looked so relieved, and then told me "I am so tired, I think I am ready to go". More than once, she spoke about being at peace. "I don't know why or where it is coming from, but I am fine, I am happy". And when I went to leave and go back to Kansas City, after a very tearful hug, she looked me straight in the eye and nodded.
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Sisters at Jamison's
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Ros & Sal
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Ros & Mum
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
With Janie
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
With Jane & Helen
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Ros & Tom
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Ros loved her kitties
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Ros loved babies!
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
The Heroy girls and Mum
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Must we explain?
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Ros & Tom
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Ros and Sheila
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
She was the May Queen
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Yearbook picture
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
World travelers!
Chris Henry
July 13, 2015
Ros in a photo booth with her sisters Sally, Chris, and Molly
Rose Roush
July 12, 2015
Thanks, "Roomie", for a whole lot of joy!
JOAN LAURIE
July 8, 2015
How she loved her gardens ~ and fish!
JOAN LAURIE
July 8, 2015
Here's Rossie amongst all her flowers and art. The most amazing thing to me to live without heating or air conditioning.
JOAN LAURIE
July 8, 2015
Out to breakfast almost every morning~this had to be one of my very favorite vacations ever!
JOAN LAURIE
July 8, 2015
Ros wanted me to photograph her diamond when I was there visiting. It is a beautiful diamond!
JOAN LAURIE
July 8, 2015
My "Roomie" and me at Pearl Harbor. It was a thrill for me to be there and present my Dad's photos from Okinawa.
JOAN LAURIE
July 8, 2015
Brooke Manning
July 8, 2015
Among the many things the Heroy sisters are known for is making up words for use in specific contexts. "Get-me" being one of them and "susss" being another. "Get-me" is a hard one to explain to non-Heroys but a "susss" can be easily defined with one person, Aunt Ros. A "Susss", as it's been described to me by my mom is a person who has the natural ability to put those around them at ease with their mere presence. Aunt Ros certainly was a "susss". Through her presence, tone, and words, she was able to make you feel that everything was okay. She was a quiet yet strong leader and she fought a quiet yet strong fight all these years, dealing with her RA. Her courage, dignity, and grace will continue to be admired and felt always.
As a middle child, I was always seeking the attention of my family, usually with a poorly sung Broadway number on our kitchen floor, using spoons and spatulas as props to beef up my performance. Aunt Ros was one of the few who actually encouraged my creative expression, giving me an audience I couldn't get with my own family. She also knew that I loved having my hair brushed and always obliged. I remember sitting on the floor of the living room in Southampton after excitedly fetching a brush for her. Even the way she brushed my hair was calming. I also remember her always having her arm or hand on us when we sat, again, providing comfort with this simple, loving gesture.
Aunt Ros was a quiet leader and this is something we can all learn from her- that to have an impact on people, you don't need to make any great effort to be heard. Her tone was calm yet strong and compelling. I'm grateful for the special role she played in helping to raise my mom, which from what I gather was no easy task.
She's had an impact on all of our lives. Her husband, daughter, son, and grandchildren were so lucky to have such a loving force in their loves and that loving force continues on in all of us.
Ros, Niall and Joan at Sheila's Wedding.
Joan Laurie
July 8, 2015
I will try again to post a few photos of Ros .....
July 8, 2015
July 8, 2015
July 8, 2015
Rose Roush
July 8, 2015
My dear Aunt Ros, was a beautiful woman inside and out. She lived life well. She was a magnificent example to many on how to live life fully, and remain positive in the midst of physical challenges. I admire how courageous she was putting others first and always being a positive light in the room. She was never one to complain. She had a gentle, warm, caring spirit about her that made others eager to be around her. She loved cats, children and babies. She will be forever missed! Rest in Peace dear sweet aunt Ros, I love you!
Todd Cuccia
July 6, 2015
Just want to send along my condolences and best wishes to the family as you guys cope with the loss of an amazing woman. When I think of Aunt Ros I think of her cool, calm & collected personality, and warm presence. She was always so sweet to me & my sisters growing up and I always looked forward to seeing her in the summers out in Southampton when we all went out there on a more regular basis as a family. She was an incredibly sweet lady, and will be missed by all of us... My thoughts and prayers are with you guys, and may Ros rest in peace
Helen Cuccia
July 6, 2015
We have all mentioned so many of the same beautiful attributes as we think of Ros.
I was fortunate to have Ros in my life from childhood on. Growing up, Ros and I were very different. She was responsible, accomplished, and loved by everyone. I was wild, rebellious, and constantly in trouble. When Mum and Dad grew tired and frustrated with me, Ros remained a strong, steady role model. She would let me know in a stern, definite, but loving way what she thought of my negative behaviors and over the years, I grew to count on her support and direction.
When Ros was diagnosed with RA, I think we all felt a dread of what was to come. But, Ros's "fierce strength" (as mentioned by Heather), got her past the multiple physical challenges of her disease and she continued to live her life in full, reassuring all of us in her loving, nurturing way, that she was "going to be fine".
In addition to her strength, Ros's spirituality was something I admired more and more over the years and it now has allowed me to feel her presence after life and to continue feeling her love, support, and direction. I will love her always.
Brooke Manning
July 6, 2015
Among the many things the Heroy sisters are known for is making up words for use in specific contexts. "Get-me" being one of them and "susss" being another. "Get-me" is a hard one to explain to non-Heroys but a "susss" can be easily defined with one person, Aunt Ros. A "Susss", as it's been described to me by my mom is a person who has the natural ability to put those around them at ease with their mere presence. Aunt Ros certainly was a "susss". Through her presence, tone, and words, she was able to make you feel that everything was okay. She was a quiet yet strong leader and she fought a quiet yet strong fight all these years, dealing with her RA. Her courage, dignity, and grace will continue to be admired and felt always.
As a middle child, I was always seeking the attention of my family, usually with a poorly sung Broadway number on our kitchen floor, using spoons and spatulas as props to beef up my performance. Aunt Ros was one of the few who actually encouraged my creative expression, giving me an audience I couldn't get with my own family. She also knew that I loved having my hair brushed and always obliged. I remember sitting on the floor of the living room in Southampton after excitedly fetching a brush for her. Even the way she brushed my hair was calming. I also remember her always having her arm or hand on us when we sat, again, providing comfort with this simple, loving gesture.
Aunt Ros was a quiet leader and this is something we can all learn from her- that to have an impact on people, you don't need to make any great effort to be heard. Her tone was calm yet strong and compelling. I'm grateful for the special role she played in helping to raise my mom, which from what I gather was no easy task.
She's had an impact on all of our lives. Her husband, daughter, son, and grandchildren were so lucky to have such a loving force in their loves and that loving force continues on in all of us.
Joan Laurie
June 30, 2015
A few photos of Rossie.
These were in Boston .
My Roomie and I just before my jump. We laughed so hard, I can almost hear her now!
June 30, 2015
JOAN LAURIE
June 30, 2015
JOAN LAURIE
June 30, 2015
JOAN LAURIE
June 30, 2015
Ros Heroy Miller was my "Roomie" in College ~ How blessed was I? When I received the call early Monday morning telling me that Ros had died, I wrote down a few of my thoughts. This is what I would like to share with you ~
My "Roomie" died early this morning in a hospital near her home in Hawaii. So, so many complications of a disease that she had endured over her lifetime. I am so very grateful that I was able to visit her in Hawaii ... to wake up at 5 a.m. and go out into her gardens to pick flowers from the grass to make a lei. And especially to hear her call out the bedroom window to me .... "Good Morning Roomie, what are you doing up so early?"
I am grateful to Sheila for calling me last week to let me know that Ros was hospitalized again. This gave me my very last opportunity to say ~ "I am thinking about you, Roomie ~ you are in my thoughts and prayers ~ and I love you." Thank you,, Sheila.
So many tears have been shed from Continent to Continent. So many hearts are broken. Know for sure that Rossie will be with each of you always ~ Talk to her, sing to her ~ and let her know what is in your heart.
"Rossie, Ros, Roomie, MoM".... You have been a shining example to all who have known you ~ of grace, dignity, courage, love and patience ~ all rolled up into one big ball of JOY! Thank you for being you. Thank you for a lifetime of friendship.
hillary collins
June 28, 2015
If I close my eyes and picture Aunt Ros, there is no way that I don't see her beautiful smile, front and center. In every memory I have of her, she's got that sweet, understanding smile on her face, and it is so peaceful. A peaceful smile for a peaceful and yet undeniably tough person.
I remember her sitting by the big pool at the beach club in Southampton, and she had such a cool presence - she was really beautiful in an old world, understated yet glamorous way, and she was always relaxed - no matter what the cousin chaos of the moment was! She reminded me a lot of granny, in terms of her looks, and in terms of her maturity. You could tell she was the oldest sister, as she had an effortless command of the whole situation, it seemed.
One thing I admired about her was that underneath her calm and caring demeanor there was a quiet but incredible toughness. She put others first, despite her health challenges, and she seemed to downplay her pain. I also admire her for raising Rossie and Ward, two people who I think possess so many of Aunt Ros's strengths. And I admire her for the generous and fun loving grandmother she was to sofie and Mukan - such lucky kids to have had her in their lives.
I will think of her often, as I do of Granny and Grandad - and I will remember her for some of her classic Heroy traits - for being sincere and real and dependable and also for being able to freely have a good laugh, no matter the circumstances.
Hillary Collins (Aunt Ros's niece)
Ros Helms
June 28, 2015
Mom's favorite animal was the golden plover. She was fascinated by the difficult journey the birds make between Alaska and Hawaii, traveling 3,000 miles continuously to return each year to the same feeding ground. She loved to spot the delicate looking bird on a lawn somewhere and marveled how innate wisdom and unseen strength had brought it to spend the winter in Hawaii. I have gotten so many comments from people who admired Mom's elegance and strength, the same qualities she valued in the plover.
My mother was a simple person in the best sense and exuded a quiet confidence that emanated from a pure heart. She was uncomplicated by personal hangups, or moral dilemmas. She was secure in her faith, and possessed of an exceptionally positive outlook on life. I will remember and admire her her strength and attitude about living. I will miss the comfort of being in her presence. She was easy to be around or confide in,and she treated people well, a lesson she attributed to her own father. I like people she always said. And everyone she knew instantly recognized her authentic, warm, generous spirit.
I will miss her guidance and input as I continue raising my children, Sofie and Mukan. Mom was able to see and make possible Mukan's adoption. Six years ago, Mom and her sisters stayed with Sofie while my husband and I completed Mukan's adoption. Sofie and Tutu really bonded at that time, a relationship that would grow and continue for many years. I'm so grateful that she got to know both of her grandchildren and I thank her for helping to provide them with formative experiences of family.She was a loving, accepting, gentle and patient mother and grandmother.
When Mom would send a card, be it to me or any member of our family, I almost came to expect that it would say how proud she was. I know with unwavering certainty what we meant to her and I know how proud of us she was. But Mom, I am so proud of you--proud of who you were, how you carried yourself, how you lived every day of your life.
Mom in her chair
Ward Miller
June 28, 2015
A recent picture of Mom and Dad with their new kittens
Ward Miller
June 28, 2015
June 27, 2015
Ros loved and was loved @ Kapiolani. I remember her over 15 years ago taking tours of childred (little&teens) through the hospital; I thought "what a brave woman with all those kids! Ros was a member of the Thursday lunch bunch at KMC cafeteria. The volunteer bunch would get together at lunch and solve the problems of the world. We shared her grandbabies with her; she so loved Sophie and Mukan and loved visiting and have the family over. Ros will be missed; she had deep aloha for all. Freida Menezes
Birch & Sally Akina
June 26, 2015
Ros was an inspiration to all who knew her and will be truly missed.
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