Alexander and Jeannette Toczko
1919 - 2015
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Toczko, Alexander and Jeannette 1919 ~ 2015 SAN DIEGO -- Alexander Joseph Toczko, (95), died June 17. His beloved wife, Jeannette Dolores, née Malachowski, (96), passed away the next day. They had been married for nearly 75 years. Al and Jay died peacefully at home surrounded by the love and care of family. According to Al and Jay, they met and fell in love when they were eight years old. For many years, "Tucker," as Al was known in his childhood, carried in his wallet a photograph of Jay dressed for her first communion. Their commitment to each other transcended time. They were born in Stamford, Connecticut in 1919 to parents who came from Poland. Al (9-26-1919) was the youngest of eight siblings. Jay (2-27-1919) was the second to the youngest of nine. Like many immigrants of the time, Al's father, Joseph, worked on farms in New England. Contrary to expectations that a hired man's son would work alongside his father in the fields, Joseph wanted his son to spend his days in school in order to receive a formal education. Al served during World War II in the US Navy as a telegraph operator. Al returned home safely to his growing young family after the war and began in earnest to pursue work in advertising and art direction which led him to a very successful career in New York City during the heyday of Madison Avenue advertising of the 1950s and 60s. Simultaneously, he immersed himself in the exciting worlds of Abstract Expressionism and Pop/Op Art through enrollment in art classes at night at the New School in lower Manhattan. Always up for an adventure and eager to seek new opportunities and a warmer climate, the couple moved to San Diego in 1971 with their youngest daughter. Drawing on his many years of experience in New York City and his deep knowledge of the creative process, Al established his own advertising and fashion photography firm, Blue Sky, from the house/ studio he had designed and built in the hills above Pacific Beach. Jay served expertly as his chief stylist. Together they made a formidable creative team for the next 15 years, spearheading award-winning campaigns for many Southern California businesses and non-profit organizations. Al loved golf-the game, hustle and gregariousness, as well as the chance to observe figures and light in the landscape. At the age of 70, after a lifetime of commercial art work, Al was able to dedicate himself fully to painting and drawing. He had a one-man show at Fuze Gallery in San Diego in 2004, exhibited in group shows in San Diego, Los Angeles, and Tucson, and could often be found sketching at his favorite golf courses -- Balboa and Torrey Pines. Jay is lovingly remembered as a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She knew children and she loved children. No birthday or special event went unremembered. She tucked sticks of chewing gum into cards from where they were happily plucked and gobbled. In her youth, Jeannette dove off bridges to swim in the Stamford harbor. More than once, she rescued a struggling child from a country club swimming pool. Jay made every home she lived in a beautiful shrine to the creativity of her family and the wondrous blessing of life. Elegant, steadfast, and sincere, she was the heart of the family. The couple is survived by Jeannette's sister, Loretta Faragher; children: Donna Tang, Richard Toczko, Lynne Edwards, Andra Toczko, and Aimee Toczko Cushman; grandchildren: Gretchen Gibbs, Lissa Gibbs, Geoff Woodcock, Gregg Woodcock, Michelle Toczko, Lauren Toczko, David Wing Tang, Jennifer Stermon, Jackie Batts, and Chris Bourcy; and great- grandchildren: Theo, Tessa, Twyla, Chloe, Christian and Grace, with another expected shortly. Friends and family are all invited to a funeral mass and celebration of Alexander and Jeannette's lives and their 75th Wedding Anniversary on June 27, 11:45 a.m. at Immaculate Conception Church in Old Town San Diego. In lieu of flowers, the family requests memorial donations to the Immaculate Conception Church's building fund for ongoing repairs, 2540 San Diego Avenue, San Diego, CA 92110.

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Published in San Diego Union-Tribune on Jun. 26, 2015.
Funeral Mass
11:45 AM
Immaculate Conception Church
Memories & Condolences
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19 entries
June 21, 2021
Just thought about Uncle Al yesterday while watching golf from Torey Pines. No doubt he had beautiful days sketching there.
Cheryl Bobonick
August 14, 2016
Dear Lynn and family,
I just read this one year later. Your parents were the best! I loved both of them. Jay was there for me on many an occasion, one being on my wedding day. She made sure I looked gorgeous while Al took the most fabulous pictures of my special day. I look at the beautiful picture Al painted everyday and will keep it forever. I wish I could have seen them before they passed but it wasn't possible. All I can say is they were the nicest and most generous folks on earth and all of us who were lucky to have known them are truly blessed. They are together in heaven. God bless all of you and I am very saddened by your loss.
Marsha Purser
July 10, 2015
When I saw this in our Belgian newspapers, I wrote a poem about it. I tried to translate it into English, hope you like it. I'm very sorry for your loss, but the way they were able to stay together, is very beautiful. I wish you all the best.

Here's the poem:

For the last time
he lied next to her
like a child in the crib
of her stained arms.

Her final sigh fell
between the fragility
of his hair and the vanishing
of his white breath.

Even death fades
by staring
at their intertwined lives.

(c) ellen lanckman
Ellen Lanckman
July 6, 2015
Donna, Richard, Lynn, Andra, Aimee and extended families

I was saddened to learn of the passing of Aunt Jeannette and Uncle Al. I have great memories of visiting your parents house on Orange St in Stamford. Walking in the woods or sledding and building snowmen with my older cousins was always such great fun, not to mention getting all of those hand me down clothes and being invited to swim in the pool at Shorehaven. I think my mother and yours were particularly close being the next in line of all the sisters in the family as well as living in proximity to each other. It meant so much to me when Andra (all the way from Chicago) represented your family at my Mom's funeral back in '87. It seems your parents had such a long, colorful rich and rewarding life in CA after leaving CT. I wish I had the opportunity to visit them there. I know my mother spoke of the wonderful time she had when she did.
I take comfort in the thought that they are all now "dancing the polka" in heaven and when I dance the polka I will think of them with love.

Deepest condolences,
Cousin, Cheryl Bobonick
Cheryl Bobonick
July 4, 2015
My mother just died too. i am a former san diegan and i truly felt with your story. God bless them and God bless you too. v.
v. r
July 4, 2015
Wow! Total commitment for all those years. They will live together for eternity.
Andy Gill
July 3, 2015
Your parent's were friends of my parents at the Immaculate Conception Church in Old Town. I met them several times. They were lovely people. My condolences to all of you.
Teresa Toigo Stottlemyer
July 2, 2015
The message from Rosemary Talboys and the Bosak family brought back such a flood of memories of "Uncle Frank" and "Aunt Dot" in Stamford! I probably remember them best of all, since I'm the oldest, and I believe I remember Uncle Frank was my godfather. I have no doubt that our parents are all dancing the polka in heaven and laughing together as they always did. Thank you for your love and thoughts. It means a great deal to us! ****Donna Toczko Tang
July 2, 2015
I didn't know your parents but I just read about their love story in the NY Daily News online edition. May they both rest in peace and may the angels lead this loving couple to paradise.
Maria Trapasso
July 2, 2015
To the family. May the peace of God fill your hearts and minds.
Teresa Cobb
July 2, 2015
What a wonderful witness to marriage.
Cara Carlson
July 1, 2015
So sorry to hear about the loss of both your Mother and Father. They were very dear friends of my parents, Frank and Dorothy Bosak in Stamford many years ago. I know they had many good times together. Dad died in 1965 leaving Mom a widow for many years. She died in 2001 on Valentine's Day. She used to talk to him a lot in her final days and I truly believe he came to get on their favorite holiday. I'm sure they're all dancing the polka in heaven right now and that makes me very happy. Sending you all condolences and much love. Rosemary Bosak Talboys and the Bosak Family.
June 30, 2015
This story truly touched my heart. When my husband Dennis and I married 44 years ago we chose to leave out "till death do us part" from our vows. We will be together forever. God bless them. They left a beautiful legacy for the world.
Judy Perez
June 30, 2015
My God they were beautiful a true testament of love I'm so happy they had each other on this road we know as life.
janae hill
June 30, 2015
Rest in Peace
Scott Chamberland
June 30, 2015
What a beautiful love story and an amazing journey of two people in love . Thank you for sharing their story . God bless you !
June 29, 2015
Thank you to Alexander and Jeanette for showing us that love can endure anything. Thank you Aimee for sharing you parents with us at Cottonwood Canyon Healthcare Center. It was an honor to know them. Such a wonderful story!
Josh Nichol
June 28, 2015
What an amazing story! (No wonder you're such an interesting character, Donna!) your parents achieved "the Amarican Dream" of those days, with hard work, dedication to each other, love for their family, and loads of creativity! May their spirit live on in their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.
June 26, 2015
What a beautiful loving couple! You are walking together in a beautiful, loving place now. Your love story is so inspiring and should serve as an example! We will celebrate your life and loves as you walk together in heaven.
Monica Leamons
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