Peter Bostwick Hilton

Peter Bostwick Hilton

AGE: 60 • Rumson

Peter Bostwick Hilton has passed away.

But he wouldn't like for us to think about it that way, so let's say that his home-improvement business has relocated irrevocably and eternally away from Rumson's Polly's Pond, where he spent the entirety of his sixty years. The relocation occurred on Holy Saturday, April 4, 2015. His two sons, Peter and Parker, and his wife Darlene were all present for the departure. Peter's home-improvement projects didn't just focus on the physical home, but on the people within it as well. One of his biggest projects was that of raising his two sons, Peter and Parker almost entirely on his own. Over the course of their upbringing, he combined the "carpe diem" attitude of Jimi Hendrix, the irreverence of Frank Zappa, the cutting humor of Howard Stern, and the simple pleasure of Winnie the Pooh in order to ensure that they didn't turn out to be a*******, which was, in fact, the one and only rule of the house (Seriously folks, "Don't be an a******").

His most recent project was his marriage to his LOML wife Darlene Lewis-Hilton in 2005. He not only married Darlene, but inherited her 4 children -- Amilynn, Drew, Owen, and Abigail Eastwood -- finally allowing him to fill the dining room table for Sunday dinners. He imparted on the children his love of music -- which kept Owen close to his guitar -- his unwavering encouragement to live life and take chances -- supporting Drew in his venture to Indonesia -- his insistence to be true to yourself and your relationships -- always asking Amilynn's friend-boys of their intentions as they entered the house -- and sharing the depth of life and practice of being present with "the baby", Abigail. He hated the cat that came with the package. Two of his earliest human projects were his parents, Lucy and John, who have already appeared in this column. Peter fine-tuned and improved their ability to raise free-range children. Peter improved the lives of his seven siblings - in alphabetical order—Hank, Jamie, John, Judith (who appeared in this column in November, 2011), Lucy, Mark and Sarah - in too many ways to mention here. (This paper imposes a fee for extra long obits that Peter would eschew.)

His love and friendship improved the lives of his two lifelong friends, "Hanes" (AKA Mark Hensler) and Hunter McKee, in ways that only they could explain. Mario Perez, his closest coworker for the last decade, also benefitted from Peter's skills and friendship, having now become his own master carpenter. Peter could improve any object. Shortly before his first communion, he began fixing radios, stereo equipment and Waring blenders. During his brief stay at Christian Brothers' Academy, he improved the language lab so that the German station played Jimi Hendrix and the French station played Frank Zappa. The teachers, however, did not consider this an improvement, so Peter was then transferred to Rumson High School from which he graduated, much to his parents' relief, on time, in 1972. He subsequently spent a few years fixing bicycles at Frank's Bike shop in Atlantic Highlands, repairing outboards at Angler's Marina in Sea Bright, and then decades improving residences throughout the Two Rivers area. Peter's efforts to improve people reached far beyond his family. While at RFH, Peter improved the administration's ability to understand that some boys with long pony tails actively discouraged drug use. He also improved drug users' ability to understand that pony tails were not an indicator of self-destructive behavior.

While RFH's staff and burnouts all puzzled over Peter's straight-edge, long hair existence, Rev. George Willis of St. George's capitalized on it by recruiting Peter to run a youth group that retrieved many at-risk rich kids from the brink. This work helped bring priceless improvements to many Two Rivers Homes, as did Peter's lifelong willingness to seize drunks' keys and return them to their cars in the morning. Believing that, like charity, genuine improvement starts at home, Peter devoted much effort to self-improvement, especially in his athletic pursuits. A master of the unicycle, the trampoline, and the art of barefoot waterskiing in his youth, he eventually completed more 10k runs and half-marathons than anyone of his size (six-foot six and 215 lean pounds) has a right to. His inability to improve other situations brought him more profound sorrow. Despite his Herculean efforts, he could not rescue Nancy Robertson Hilton, the mother of his two then-young sons, from the cancer that took her life in 1996. Neither could he rescue himself from the cancer that overtook him only three years after Peter Lorenzi generously donated him a new kidney.

As he was in the process of deliberating more chemo, Peter used the unique circumstances in which he found himself to improve his family and friend's third Saturday in June 2014 by throwing himself a sixtieth birthday party. The weather, the music, the seafood, and the guest list were perfect. In fact, many even referred to the night as "magical".

Everyone who loves Peter and/or his loved ones is encouraged to be at the Church of the Precious Blood in Monmouth Beach at 10:30am this Saturday morning, April 11. Peter has been very clear: this is not to be construed as a "celebration of his life." It is a time to pray that his journey to his new headquarters will be fast and fantastic and will not involve too much time in what he called "the penalty box." Everyone is also invited to stop by Thompson Memorial Home, 310 Broad Street, Red Bank, on Friday night, April 10th, from 5-8pm.. Everyone is equally encouraged to join the gang at the Monmouth Beach Club after the funeral on Saturday morning. In lieu of flowers, please make donations in Peter's memory to Habitat for Humanity, P. O. Box 3306, Long Branch, NJ 07740.