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Bob Hegyi Obituary
He was the "gay Mayor of Phoenix"; the "Godfather of gay Phoenix"; a pioneer in the fight against HIV/AIDS; a community pillar whose lifelong drive to help others brought him awards and honors over the last 30 years-Bob Hegyi was a man unafraid to stand up for justice, even if he were the only one standing. Bob Hegyi died suddenly on April 7. If Bob were writing this obituary, he'd probably say the proudest moments in his 75 years were his Hungarian heritage; creating Phoenix' first Gay Community Switchboard out of his R. Hegyi card and novelty shop in the 1980s; helping establish the Arizona Stop AIDS Project; working the front desk and becoming the "face" of the Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS for 20 years; being honored with the Martin Luther King Living the Dream Award by the City of Phoenix in 1999; being named Humanitarian of the Year by the Arizona Aids Fund Trust-a group he helped create-not once, but for 1983, 1984, 1985 and 1986; being named one of the nation's most influential gay rights leaders by The Advocate in 1984; receiving the first Larry Smith Memorial Award for lifetime achievement in 1997; being given Body Positive's Lifetime Achievement Award in 2006; legally marrying his partner of 40 years, Mel Reese, on October 3, 2008 in California; and adopting his son, Chris. He'd even own up to his "Clara Clutter" nickname for his insatiable appetite for collecting-everything! Bob Hegyi not only bejeweled his own life, but all those around him. Most of all, he would have been proud that his husband's first words of tribute were these: "He had a complete, unselfish desire to help others." Bob is also survived by his brother and sister-in-law, Richard and Carol in Ohio and several nieces and nephews. A Celebration of Bob Hegyi's Life is scheduled for 5:30 p.m. May 2 at the Phoenix Art Museum. In lieu of flowers, contributions are being accepted to the Robert C. Hegyi Scholarship Fund for LGBT Youth at the Maricopa Community Colleges Foundation, 2419 W. 14th St., Tempe, AZ. 85281, or the We Are Here Fund for Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS, 1144 E. McDowell, #200, Phoenix, AZ. 85006.
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Memories and Condolences
for Bob Hegyi
Zach
April 8, 2024
Everyone has an "if only..." memory of someone. Bob is mine. "If only I had been more consistent a friend" or "better at...". Ten years passed and he's still teaching us. I've thought of and think of you often, since the Tony and Derf days and if only.
Bennu Anpial
April 9, 2021
I have started a new ritual with my Medicine Wheel this spring------I start by circling our home 7 times and then going around the Medicine Wheel 7 times------it gives me a good 1+ mile walk-----and a time for giving thanks and remembrance------always including my cousin Bob, and his parents Charlie and Ella------along with so many other family and friends who have crossed over before me. It's a great way to start the day enjoying my gardens and their annual awakening and remembering my reconnection with Bob in 2009!! RIP, Bob
Ronald Pallister
April 8, 2021
In the 90s Bob would be at Trax gay bar dancing with his flags and ribbons at the center pole. I was only in my 30s and new to the gay bar scene. He always encourage me to come and dance on the dance floor. I was a client of body positive and he always made it a special time every time I had a appointment. He is truly missed. Definitely the gay mayor of Phoenix. Bringing tears to my eyes just writing this. I hope he is dancing on the dance floor up in heaven.
Zach Sobol
June 25, 2020
So late now, and I still feel the loss and regret. Wat a role model and friend.
Bennu Anpial
April 8, 2020
So incredibly pleased to have reunited with my cousin after 50+ years-----a wonderfilled weekend at the Tucson Gem and Mineral show in 2009. We were born several years apart and he was a teenager when I was a baby-----so my childhood memories of him are pretty sketchy------but our parents kept in touch so I would here of him through the years------enough to realize that we had an unspoken connection-------we both had Russian Wolfhounds-----both raised baby birds------both became primary care givers of our parents in their elder years. I am glad that we reunited-----but sure wish it had been sooner. I remember the initial phone call that I made after finding his number in my Mom's old phone registry after she died------it was as if we were long lost friends. I continue to light candles in his memory every year-----April 7th and June 7th (for his birthday). Many Blessings, Much Love--------RIP------Bennu
ronald cobb
July 15, 2018
Bob was always pleasant to all! So sad to see he left this troubled earth.
Stacey Washington
May 12, 2013
Bob,
you are very missed and loved, I remember when Greg died you were there if i need someone to talk to or i would come and see you and cry.
you will be missed and hard to believe you are gone.
May 5, 2013
Dear Bob, I'm sorry I didn't make it to the memorial. But you were with me all the while, once again inspiring the activities of my day. Thank you for demonstrating the grace and beauty of an easy smile, shared laughter, and the comfort of holding those dear and in need with a reassuring embrace. I agree with Don; you're legacy will continue to shine with the brilliance inspired by the person you were and the people you touched. Save a dance for me. With love, Marty.
Marco Balzano
May 3, 2013
he will be greatly missed.
DS Lucero
May 3, 2013
Love & Prayers to Chris, Mel, Family & Friends.
? Dominik Lucero and Shannon Payne
May 3, 2013
Love & Prayers to Chris, Mel, Kirk, Family and Friends.
? Dominik & Shannon
Gary Brewer
May 2, 2013
May your spirit carry the true caring compassion that so many have felt by your presence wherever you go.
Jim Laughlin
May 2, 2013
Earth lost an angel and you broke many hearts.
When I first heard the news the world seemed to stop, the shock overwhelming. Life is a production, and you were cast in so many parts.
I cried not only for myself, but for all that was gone. You were always there. How could all of us who loved you carry on.
Then I thought of the future and with tears running down my cheek. I realized that the dreams we dare to dream, would not have been possible if not for your dreams, a warrior for the equality we seek.
Through the grief and the pain justifiable felt. For Mel and for Chris, my heart continues to melt.
But for the rest of us who knew you, may they be comforted to know, that because you were here, although you've gone from the world, it's on with the show.
For the life that you lived, work, words and the deeds, a world we could never have imagined, from dream to reality will be.
The depth of emotion to intense for words, one of the deepest gratitude for your life, now you dance among the stars.
Rudy Villalobos
April 22, 2013
A rock for so many. He will be dearly missed.
Mark Suever
April 20, 2013
Oh Bob... you always brought a smile to my face, but now somehow I have a smile, yet I'm tearful at your loss.
April 18, 2013
Dear Mel,
We are so sorry for your loss and that of the Phoenix community at large.You and Bob are in our hearts and minds.
Sincerely,
Bob Colosi & Linus Jung
Bruce Christian
April 17, 2013
An inspiration to the entire LGBT community. We are going to miss you Bob. But I'll bet there is a great dance party going on right now where you are.
Don Unhock
April 17, 2013
Bob my wonderful friend and dance partner... I will miss you terribly. The world is a better place because of you.
Julie Roberts
April 17, 2013
I could always see Bob across the crowded room in his colorful Hapi coats. I hope he took them all to heaven.
Kevin Harding
April 16, 2013
Heaven is a little brighter now. Thanks for being the first welcoming face when i arrived here. I will always remember your smile.
Kevin Harding Chandler Az.
Bennu Anpial
April 16, 2013
Sooooo thankful to have reconnected with my cousin Bob after 50+ years of separation. A real Oprah moment when we met in Tucson, Feb. '09. I am in total awe of the life that Bob lived so fully----the love he gave so freely. Koszonom Szepen, Bob, Koszonom Szepen------Bennu Allen Anpial (aka F. Ann Hegyi)
Mary Posa Sanstead
April 15, 2013
Dear Mel,
Bob always made me feel loved. Hearing his hello was like receiving a bear hug. I am sorry for your loss and pray that you are comforted by the many years of joy.
Mary Posa Sanstead
Allen and Candy Baron
April 15, 2013
Our lives are sweeter for having known you, Bob...you will be missed.
A true positive example. Thank you.
Alex Mogo
April 15, 2013
May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.
Robert Heath
April 15, 2013
I first met Bob about 46 years ago when he was my high school youth advisor at First Presbyterian Church. His energy and caring attitude was contagious. Not only was I left with wonderful memories, we stayed close friends for several years after my high school years ended. Unfortunately, we lost track of each other until about one year ago when my brother ran into Bob and Mel at a street fair. Meeting up with Bob after all those decades was like time had stood still. As before, we talked, laughed, and enjoyed each other's company. This past year we shared many emails, photos, and memories right up to his passing. Thanks, Bob, for always being a good friend and an important part of my life.
Diane D'angelo
April 15, 2013
Godspeed, Bob.
Rodney Heslep
April 15, 2013
Be safe my friend. You are missed greatly. I hope there's a huge movie theater thare.
Bill Mounts
April 15, 2013
I met Bob in the early 80's at Trax I had to meet the guy onthe dance floor who brought luggage full of fans, tambourine s and finger symbols. Bob helped so many and is deeply missed.
Klaus Noeth
April 15, 2013
You sure shone here on earth, hope your star will even shine brighter up on the heavens. Thanks for being here "Mother Hegyi".
Klaus Noeth
April 15, 2013
Love and miss you "Mother Hegyi". Hope you join the stars in heaven, you sure shone brightly here on earth.
Chris Mc Laws
April 15, 2013
Bob your Horoscope has 5 stars; says you have earned your rest, for all you have done in this world has been more than your best. Bob you gave your love to every one you meet and you made this world a better place for each and every one of us. I've learned so much from you in the past 6 years we worked together at Southwest Center, and we all miss your smiles and hugs each morning. Thank you for caring, and thank you Mel for sharing Bob with us.
April 15, 2013
I'll never forget you Bob.Now you can get the heavens organized too. XOX Ed Mossburg
Robert Bartlett
April 15, 2013
I'm really going to miss your little bit of Heaven when I check in at Souhwest center, the smile on your face and the hugs you had waiting. But I know one day we'll meet again with alot of Heaven, smiles and all the hugs one person could want. You are missed my friend, till we meet again when you'll be checking me in, at Heaven's gate.
Carol and Richard Hegyi
April 15, 2013
We love you Bob. Will miss your calls,always upbeat and enthused for life. Mel, think of you often and the pain you are going through. Keep in touch please.
April 15, 2013
i will miss you bob, your unwavering strength, humor, jewelry (of course) and calm
carl leggett
April 15, 2013
you will be missed thanks for all your help
Rick Potter
April 15, 2013
We sure had fun on those dance floors now he's cutting a cloud with all the angles dance Bob dance......
Scott Haverstock
April 15, 2013
A Man like no other, you will be missed Bob. Thank you for the glitter you placed in the path, for many will continue to move forward bedazzled by your energy and dedication.
Curtis & Fabian
April 15, 2013
Bob was an outstanding ,hard working and a caring person. He always had a pleasant word for everyone no matter what kind of day he was having. He will be greatly missed in the community ,but also Greatly remembered. My deepest condolences go out to his Family, at this time of their loss. Remember the good times you had and know that is what he would like. My life is fuller for just knowing him and how much he cared for his Job, Friends, and Family.
Russ Amaral
April 15, 2013
May Bob's spirit live on in all of us!!!
Babe Caylor
April 15, 2013
Remembering your great spirit and the warm hugs. I feel blessed to have experienced YOU, Bob... a life well lived.
Mel and Chris my thoughts are with you.
~BC
george johnston
April 15, 2013
bob you have touch so many people and you will be missed
Mark Schmitz
April 15, 2013
Bob was an inspiration to me; to serve our community, to live large and have fun along the way!
Mike Snitz
April 15, 2013
Bob Hegyi, is one of the most positive people I've met in our community. His laugh, energy and outlook will be surely missed. Thanks for sharing your light with me.
Rick Meek
April 15, 2013
Bob. You were always ready with a warm smile, making sure that those around you knew they were loved. You were a bright light in a in an all to often dark world. Rest in peace friend.
Ron Pallister
April 14, 2013
I first meet bob at Traxs on Mc Dowell road in 1992. I was 29 & it was my first gay bar. He was dancing around the pole in the middle of the dance floor. He was dancing with these fans. I am really shy and he kept trying to get me out on the dance floor. Then the next night he was there, he had his tambourines. Again he tried to get me out. I thought he was so cool. Finally after a few weeks & some beer, I went onto the dance floor. He made me feel so confident that I could dance (which I really sucked). After that, every time he would see me on the dance floor trying to dance, he would nod his head with a yes & with a big smile. Then in 1993, I was diagnosed with full blown aids, I ran into him at the front desk at body Positive. He help me and my partner with so many things. When I would tell people that I wanted a long lasting relationship, I would always say like Bob and Mel of 40 yrs. My heart is broken tonight. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family & Mel. Bob was so amazing and will be truly missed. I will see you up in haven when I get there , I am sure he will be on the dance floor dancing with all the angles. Love Ron Pallister
Maggie Keane
April 14, 2013
I will miss him when I deliver lunches from Ladybug House of Sandwiches. He was always so bright, cheerful and colorful!
Kristofer
April 14, 2013
Bob was the angel on earth we all look for: the warm smile, the heartfelt hug, and the happy feelings he shared with everyone who came into contact with him. We know he's gone ahead to make the next place better for us when we arrive and is reunited with joyful happiness to those that went before him. Many thanks for all that you did for and with us Bob.
April 14, 2013
Mel - My heart goes out to you today. I am so sorry for your loss. We worked together when you were a Phoenix Arts Commissioner and I was the Secretary to the Commission. I remember you as a
very kind, considerate man. Mare McKnight
Ron Passarelli Eric Moore
April 14, 2013
Ron and I are still in shock about Bob's passing. Bob never met a stranger. He always had a smile on his face, a song in his heart, and a tambourine (real or metaphorical) in his hand. While we are saddened by his passing, we are much better people for having known Bob. A little touch of heaven, indeed
Tommy Tharp
April 14, 2013
Bob was a great encougagement to me. He also knew waht to do or say to lift your spirits.. I know I will miss him greatly. My thoughts are with his family... Tommmy Tharp
Terry Terrell
April 14, 2013
Bob marched to the beat of his own drum, and that march always took him to places where he was able to serve his community, accomplish great things few others have done and be an understanding friend to everyone he knew. Phoenix is a better place for Bob having passed through.
Sam Worthington
April 14, 2013
Mel,
Bob will missed by so many people but will missed by you more than anyone will ever know. We have so many memories that will keep Bob in our hearts, minds and for many cocktails the rest of our lives. I miss him and love you.
Sam
Meg Umans
April 14, 2013
Thank you, Bob. You remain an inspiration to all of us.
Rodney Martin
April 14, 2013
To Mel and the Hegyi family, As we all look back at this wonderful man, I have only high praises for all of the time and effort that he put into this community. He was the one "true light" of my life to help me through all of my life. Your smile will always be with me, and your heart will always live on. Thank you for being my friend. Godspeed and peace be with all of the community. "We must all look forward together."
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