Embry Whiteman-Goes Ahead

CROW AGENCY - Ishchawuankulushtuuash, Embry Duane Whiteman-Goes Ahead, was born June 29, 2005, in Crow Agency, at the Crow-Northern Cheyenne Hospital, to Rachel Leah Whiteman of Lodge Grass and William Goes Ahead of Pryor.
Survivors include his parents; his grandparents, Lynda and Everett Whiteman of Lodge Grass, Marlin and Thelma Goes Ahead of Pryor, Rachel and Robert Old Horn of Crow Agency, Lizabeth Pretty on Top of Garryowen, Colleen Wellknown of Hardin, Randy, Kenneth (Hannah), Norman (Donna), Brewster (Veronica), Tommy (Beverly) Pretty on Top; great-grandparents, Henrietta Pretty on Top, Christine Stewart, Phyllis Wellknown and John J. Pretty on Top; aunts, Carey (AJ) Not Afraid, Shana (Ty) Ten Bear, Lesley (Ervin) Bird in Ground, Amy (Tom) Yellowtail, Sheri (Tim) Birdhat, Allison Pretty on Top, Lucinda (Clint) Small, Remi (Jasper) Half, Kathy (JR) Fighter, Regina, Marla, Angel, Lorita Goes Ahead, Jennifer (Kenneth) Turns Plenty, Elsie and Carla Falls Down; uncles, Barry (Grace) Whiteman, Coe Cash Half, Raymond (Regina) Falls Down, Garren, Ellsworth and George Goes Ahead, Jr.; special sisters, Tawny Rae and Delaney Half, Chelsea Cole, Erles and Kanani Bird in Ground; as well as numerous other aunts, uncles and extended family members.
Graveside funeral services will be held 2 p.m. Friday, July 1, in the Garryowen Family Cemetery. Bullis Mortuary of Hardin has been entrusted with the arrangements.
All Heaven was in mourning. The day that young man died, when he closed his eyes, they said, ten thousand angels cried.
The angels shed their many tears, because he was God's son, but there is a special sadness, when God takes the very young. At times like that, I question God, why let a child die? I cannot understand it and I need to ask Him why. I too, have heard the angels cry, I've heard them cry firsthand, for I too, gave up a child and I've tried hard to understand. Yes I received God's comfort, thought I'm grateful, I want meaning, I am a parent who's heart-sore. God can give and God can take, I am well aware of this, but, why my baby - why my child? Why did god put him on His list? Did I love my child too much? Was he too good for this old earth? Had his purpose here been filled? Was that why he was taken first? I awake each day with questions, I fall asleep at night, the same, so many times I ask God Why, I'm both saddened and ashamed. But then, in reflective moments, when my prayers are most intense, one word keeps going through my mind, patience, patience, patience. Maybe now is not the time to explain the great heartache, even if I knew God's reasons, what difference would it make?
Can't I just be grateful, for any time we had? Is my faith not strong enough? God will explain it when He's ready, surely I can trust that much.
God understands my broken heart, He, too gave up a son, He knows the pain of one lost child, He weeps with me and we are one. Just as I talk to God each day, I talk to my precious baby boy, I blow him kisses and I say, "See you, my sweet baby boy, in a while."