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James Luvender Obituary
This obituary was originally published in the Buffalo News.
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Memories and Condolences
for James Luvender
Sponsored by Sueanne.
Corrina P.
October 9, 2024
Jim,
I know that over the years we had a number of heart to hearts, as I'm sure you had with plenty of people. After all, you always had the biggest heart. Thanking you was something that I did regularly, but I wanted to thank you again. You led by example when it came to unconditional kindness, patience & understanding. It has been many years since we were in touch, but I have continued to try to follow your example. You are still in my thoughts and I'll forever be thankful for you.
Sueanne Jacobs
May 10, 2023
Can’t believe we’re approaching 17 years since that horrific day. I feel and see it like it was yesterday. Every minute of that day - from morning coffee at your place with Kenny, a visit from John (Town EMT that stopped while on duty to say hi) - to my heading out for ONE HOUR to make final arrangements on the surprise 16th birthday celebration we planned for Lindsey. Wasn’t gone 30 minutes when I got the call from Kenny regarding your call from Chrissy - which lead her panic call to Kenny and 911. Alerting the kids on my way to the hospital - hearing their panic as to your fate, arriving at the hospital realizing the seriousness - falling to my knees - listening to the cries from each of the kids all like yesterday. Days to follow were all numb, needless to say.
I often wondered what life would have been like if everything was different. Following through with the engagement (that started the morning of your surgery, 5/5/06), wedding and starting our lives as one. Obviously we know God had other plans - but as Toni said so perfectly - you just seemed to have a way of fixing things - situations - everything.
Still miss you - you’ll always have a piece of my heart. It actually does still hurt whenever I allow myself to “go back there.” I’m sure you’re all having fun up there now - especially since Donna and Kenny decided to join you! (Still mad at him, too!).
17 years wow.
Endlessly yours,
Sueanne
Tonia Browne
May 9, 2023
As we come up on another year since your passing I just wanted to express how much you are missed! Things would have been so much better had you not had to go. You had a way of fixing everything without even having to lift a finger. Just talking to you always made everything so much clearer. So much has happened in the time you've been gone -- alot of heartache as well as some joy. Wish you were here to share it all....Miss you pal!
Sueanne
July 1, 2021
Happy 68th birthday, sweetheart!! Remember your 50th surprise party? Wasn’t exactly ON your birthday (which helped with the surprise plus had you thinking it was a surprise party for mom and Lee allowed me to use you for set up and threw you off!) was on July 12th I believe and everyone had special tee shirts (I still have one!)! Was great having your Pennsylvania family here and your out of town buddies!! Anyway I definitely “gotcha!!”
I’m sure you’re celebrating and goofing with your BFF now that he joined you (sad for us) with Molsen and vodka/squirt!! We really are missing him as you well know he definitely filled in many holes left when had to leave us. Enjoy your first “birthday celebration reunion” with him!
Still miss you - lots happened to help with that Ed-of course- and my beautiful grand babies!!
Happy 68th, old man!! Love you bunches and bunches!
Endlessly yours,
Sueanne
Sueanne
July 2, 2020
Hey, handsome!!
Here we are again!! Another birthday!! 67 today!! So many changes ... in our lives, our homes, our children and grandchildren, etc!! And now expecting another granddaughter!! I know you would have been an amazing grandpa!! As I remember you today I recall all our celebrations ... including the day of the infamous surgery, even tho it ultimately ended our earthly relationship. That being it was the day you proposed and we began making plans for our forever life together. Well, we know how that went.
In spite of the sad turn of events, you have to see (as you always insisted on) I have made a happy life now with Ed. I did retire actually earlier than you and I had planned, so that too is great! I do that - my happy life - as a result of all we were to each other and remembering all you taught me. All of my past - before you, during you and now post you - is how I am able to be who I am today. I still think of you often - even dream at times (crazy, huh?) but I know its your way of letting me know you approve of my choices.
Still wonder how life would have been ... and miss our talks ... but treasure all we were to each other and all I learned from you. Happy 67th birthday, old man!!
Love you, endlessly,
Sueanne
Sueanne Miller
December 7, 2015
So hard to believe 16 years ago when you walked into my life how life changed. Not a day passes that somewhere, somehow in so many of our actions, thoughts or lessons learned from you surface and show their face! Sometimes, not so pretty face, but nonetheless, you pop in and out of our lives constantly. Our lives have all taken so many different twists and turns, some good some not so good, as you know and we're still growing and learning from you and each other. I've moved on as you asked me to in your note to me through Lee before he left us. I'm very happy with Ed he loves me more than anything and would do anything within his power to protect me, help me and to make me happy! We'll be getting married sometime next year still working out the details and moving on to our next phase of our lives!
So today looking back to the first time we met, I want you to know that I will always love you and there's a spot in my heart that will never heal because of knowing and loving you. Of course you are missed by so many, but again your legacy lives in all of us who knew and loved you!
Love and miss you endlessly,
Sueanne
A great memory - last vacation together
July 2, 2015
Happy 62nd Birthday, cutie pie!
So hard to believe we've passed 9 years since we've lost you! Bet by now you'd have gained at least a FEW more gray hairs, you think?
So much has changed - kids have grown into amazing adults, my "repair and fix it" knowledge continues to grow - all because of so much you taught us! We all are better people - having you a part of our lives! Although such a short time, you gave so much to each of us - some by example and some by teaching. It wasn't easy either! You were a tough nut and kept us in line!
It goes without saying, I'm sure, that we all - everyone that had the pleasure of knowing and loving you, think of you often - but today, which would have been another day to look back and give thanks, is just another opportunity to remind us of all your gifts and of course your huge heart!
I am sure I speak for the kids as well when I say - Happy Birthday, sweetheart! You are missed still - and the heartache never goes away, just becomes easier to contend with!
Endlessly,
Sueanne
July 2, 2014
Well ... here it is again!! Happy 61st birthday, old man! Yet - obviously always a kid at heart!! I'm sure Kenny is remembering you all day today - since you both went back and forth for these 9 long days with the age thing! I'll be stopping by to leave you some flowers later on ... after all, you always loved flowers and made sure I had them - even for no reason!
Hard to believe you're gone more than 8 very long years! Lucky for us we still have your lessons that continue to haunt us whenever we attempt a task - the WRONG way! It's funny - we just look at each other and smile because we KNOW it's you on our shoulder shaking your finger and re-directing us the RIGHT way! Not that we listen, mind you - but we know you're there!
Anyway - I just wanted to drop a quick note to wish a very special person a very happy birthday! I'm sure you're celebrating with all the rest of our special angels!! Don't forget - mom and Lee's anniversary coming up (same day as Kenny's birthday - and I KNOW you remember THAT date!!) and mom's birthday - July 31 as well as Lee on August 5! So looks like you'll be celebrating with everyone for a while!! I miss you - all of it - the good, the bad and everything in between. Life has a funny way of keeping us moving, though. And we know you're all up there still helping us get through a variety of life's issues. So many special angels - for all us special folks left behind! One day - we'll be toasting your birthday together again! Until then, we'll enjoy some Vodka / Squirt cocktails in your honor!
Love and miss you ... every day!
Disney, September, 2005
May 13, 2014
Hard to believe it's been 8 years since we said our last good-bye and kissed you for the last time! So many zig zags since then ... many ups and downs. Happy times, and sad. The kids graduations from High school and College, Caroline and Alex's wedding, babies born, medical scares and recoveries, loosing Lee then mom. Yet somehow in much of what we do, choices we make - seem to still reflect the times we shared and the lessons we learned from you! Touched so many - in so many ways! Taught us things we never realized at the time - things that we'd take with us for the rest of our lives. Gave my family lifelong friends we would have otherwise never had, etc., etc., etc. It's an anniversary - we remember and reflect on all those times.
RIP James! And THANK YOU for all you taught us!! You're missed for all of these reasons and more!
Still - I often wonder what all our lives would have been like if we still had you with us - here. More than in our hears ... but directing us, supporting us, disciplining us, etc!! Irregardless of our plans, God already had one. So we accept it and have moved on as you would have wanted and hold tight to all the time we had with you - loving the fact that we did at least have you for those few short 6 1/2 years and knowing you're still finding ways to keep us going in the right direction and hopefully proud of all of us - in your own little way!
Keep with us - and continue to help us work through the tough times and the heartaches that accompany them. You are loved and missed - every day! It is awesome, though, how somehow one of your "life's lessons" seem to periodically creep up and show it's face in our lives! It's your way, and God's plan, to keep you alive in each of us!
It has gotten easier ... but the pain is always there. RIP my love - knowing your existence made such a mark!
Sueanne
July 2, 2013
WOW!
Do you realize what today is??? MAN! You would have been turning 60 today and your buddy Kenny would have had a FIELD day!! At least for the next 9 days, anyway!!
Seems like forever ago that we had that 50th for you ... so much has happened since then, yet it's only been 10 short years since that fun, fun weekend!! We really had you fooled - well, for most of the time until your red-headed cousin seem to find a way to give you hints! Oh well ... we had surprises you didn't know about, even if you did suspect a party!!
I just wanted to say that you are still missed EVERY SINGLE day and one way or another one of your memories always seems to pop up or a saying of yours will come out of someone's mouth, etc. that was one of yours. You left such a strong mark in so many people and carry a very strong hold to many hearts down here!! I most definitely did NOT want today to pass without wishing you a happy 60th old man!! And to remind you that you're still older than me!! And to thank you once again for all you gave, all you taught and all you continue to do for all of us as you remain one of our very extra special Angels!! God sure knew what he was doing putting you in our lives!! Not that He doesn't know; I'm just sayin!!
You most definitely - were unique - and the memories we made and shared with each other and with the kids and our friends have kept you close to all of us! I love that!! Keep watching over us all -- and I trust you're enjoying one of your favorite beverages as you toast amongst our other angels up there with you on this very special day in history! The day James Edward Luvender was brought into this world 60 years ago!!
Endlessly yours,
Sueanne
May 13, 2013
May 13,2013
James Edward Luvender, JEL53, Jim, Uncle Jim, Sweetheart,
Wow - so hard to believe that today represents 7 years we've had to move through since loosing a man that made such an impact on so many people's lives. I know we all do in one way or another - touch many people - but even before you came into our lives, you made such an impact. From those you helped in your neighborhood growing up, the many you touched through all your volunteer work the different fire companies you belonged to, your various jobs and then ultimately the police station. You were a hard head, but it paid off!!
Entering our lives was for us, one of the best things God blessed us with. You taught, cared, fixed - and loved each one of us in your own way. Many didn't even realize all you did and meant - until it was no longer there. Funny, there are still so many things we come across, we say or situations that arise - that cause us to reminisce and recall things you did, or say to each other, "now how would Jim respond to that?" or "how would Jim handle that?". Your legacy, trust me, lives on in so many of us!
It's still so easy to go back to those days when you made us all laugh, cry, angry - but more so how special you made us feel. I totally learned how it felt to truly feel loved when you came into my life. Once I decided to allow my inside built up brick wall to be knocked down one loving brick at a time by you, my heart was so warm and so very alive! The way you treated my kids - never having any of your own - seemed harsh in the beginning, but obviously worked since they still all talk about all you did for them, with them and the events you willingly attended, making time for each of them even if it meant taking time off work or from your sleep to do it!
I still question the "why" you were taken from us just when life was starting to take off for all of us. Only God knows that. It was His plan all along. So, having believing that and accepting that, it's my belief that you were only meant to be in our lives for those short 6 years. In those six years we all got a taste of happiness and fun and education that we may never have ever found. There wasn't anything we said we wanted to do - that we didn't do. The fun vacation memories were among the many we all still talk about! Yea, we had some negative ones, but even those were lessons that made all of us even stronger and closer to each other. The only regret we ever had was that we didn't have more time together.
Believing in God truly, truly helps. We know that you were His blessing to each of us and that you are still being allowed to watch over us and guide us through the tough days and share the happy ones as well. So on this seventh year anniversary of the day God took you home, rather than mourn the tragedy of our loss, I think we all need to celebrate the life he gave us in you! Celebrate your LIFE!! Thank God for giving you to us, even for such a short time, because it did teach us there IS LOVE in this world!! That no one is perfect, but if you take what God gives us, work with it, love it, appreciate it - and LIVE each day for what it is - a GIFT from God - we will be looked on with favor from Him and from you!!
We all miss you, so very much - which was also evident in one of the gifts I received from my awesome kids yesterday for Mother's Day. A red fireman's helmet for my Pandora Bracelet. Misting eyes ... of course! The focus my kids have on things that matter, around the house, for each other, for me, I do attribute a large part of that to you. I may be the instrument by which they hear and see how things need to be, but it is your instilling certain behaviors into me - for their growth, that is largely responsible!
Please, please continue to be our Guardian Angel, keeping us safe and continue to hear our pleas whenever we cry out! THANK YOU for coming into our lives ... we think of you more than ever!!
Endlessly yours,
Sueanne
Lindsey Miller
May 5, 2012
Jim,
Words cannot express how much I miss you. Even though I couldn't acknowledge it then, you were my dad. You cared more about me than my biological father ever could. Every year, when my birthday comes it just means the anniversary of when the world ripped you from us is coming. I miss and love you more than you can ever imagine.
You treated my mother like the princess she deserved to be treated as. You knew how special she is, just as special as we all know she is. No one will ever understand the love you two shared for each other. Me, Caroline, Chris, and Tim miss you and the connection you shared more than you can ever imagine.
I just got an internship for the summer. I know how proud of me you are, and I wish more than anything we could celebrate together - I know how much you would love going to happy hour to celebrate! I'll have a screwdriver in your honor
I love and miss you, more than you could ever imagine!
Lindsey
May 3, 2012
Hey cutie,
Can't believe it's been six years since the day you proposed ... the morning of your surgery. I can still see your face as you stumbled over the words and exactly how to say them -- you, the person who was NEVER at a loss for words ... and the amazing acceptance hug!! And even BETTER was telling the kids! And Kenny ... and John and Nancy Carpenter who were at the hospital with us! It was so much fun ... a stressful day, due to the "unknown" of the surgery ... but we were all able to make jokes and laugh ... knowing the happiness that was overshadowing the rest of it! We were all ... so excited!
None of us knew what was about to come ... just a short 10 days later. But we did manage to savor every minute we had together - even while you were attempting to recover ... doing so well at it ... we were all so proud!
Once home ... you worked so hard at getting stronger ... and we talked a bit about our now even more exciting future! Looking for a house for me that would ultimately become "our house" ... was just one of the first steps we were taking. You helped me find it ... and although you're here, it's not the "home" I thought it would be. Will always be missing someone.
Well ... just wanted to make sure you knew that I remembered! You NEVER forgot our special days ... and this, most definitely, even tho of the impending outcome, will always be one of the most memorable days of my life, James Luvender!
You will always have a huge part of my heart with you ... it just can never belong to anyone else! happy 6th anniversary of our engagement, my darling! I love and miss you ... more than anyone could possibly imagine.
Endlessly,
Sueanne
Limo ride to Tim McGraw Concert - October 2004
Sueanne Miller
December 7, 2011
October 2004 - limo ride to Tim McGraw concert
Sueanne
December 7, 2011
Darlin,
12 Years ago today ... you came into my life ... and our lives were never to be the same again. Never did I imagine how life as I knew it was about to change and a person inside me that I never knew ... evolved.
The days, months and years to follow brought a lot of pain, a lot of growth but more importantly a lot of trust, faith and love. We became best friends, soul mates. The kind you really only find once in a lifetime.
God had his reasons for bringing us together and since he knew our time together would be short, he filled each day with so many memories, so much love ... and little regret.
Today ... on our 12th anniversary, I remember, still with a very heavy heart, your quick wit, your loving smile when you looked at me that special way, how your arms felt around me, the sparkle in your eyes as you enjoyed every minute of every day ... most importantly I remember what we were to each other ... our laughs, our cries, our plans for the future ... and I remember these like it was yesterday. Hard to believe you've been gone 5 1/2 years already ...
You made such a mark on so many people's lives. I thank God every day for all he's blessed me with and all the loving guidance He gives me. Not a day goes by when somehow, you pop into my head ... always in my heart ... and that I don't always give thanks to God for blessing me with you, James Edward Luvender ... the person who changed me forever!
I love you ... always will ... Happy Anniversary, darlin!
Endlessly yours,
Sueanne
May 13, 2011
Good morning, darlin -
It's so hard to believe what today represents. Five full years ... since you left me. I still wonder what life would have been for us if God had a slightly different plan.
Irregardless, it is what it is and we've all found ways to work through the hand we've been dealt. We of course, never forget and we constantly recall your messages, lessons, wierd sense of saving things and always the memories and laughs.
Today ... as we look back on the past 5 years without you ... I remember ... and my heart still aches, painfully when I close my eyes and still feel your arms around me. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you in some way. I miss you, sweetheart ... and I know you are constantly watching over us (you and mom!!) and I know things will be okay.
Be with us next week as we embark on our very long awaited vacation - back to a place where we took the kids and created some amazing (and some not so amazing!) memories. As we recall those help us to make new ones ... to be able to share those in years to come as we get together ... for family stuff!
I miss you, babe --- and will always love you --- and all the things you taught me and the kids. Help us get through today and enter into year six with even more strength than we had for the past five!
Love you endlessly,
Sueanne
December 7, 2010
Who would have ever thought my life could change so drastically after meeting a person so briefly ... 11 years ago. Tuesday, December 7th, 1999 was the date -- and all the time to follow led up to my life being filled with friendship, understanding, compassion, caring, teaching and above all - a deep love that will never be found again.
You obviously saw something in me - something that you felt could be an "us" - because your determination and persistence in spite of my resistance that only you knew proved that it most definitely was something meant to be. As I grew to know you and you me, we became true soul mates and there was no doubt destined to be together forever.
Our ups and downs throughout those growing years only proved to strengthen our commitment and our love for each other. We had to deal with medical issues, emotional issues, financial and even some legal struggles! But together, we accomplished pretty much anything we set our mind to, of course thanks to my OPTIMISTIC attitude! You were always there for me ... and of course in turn you never had one moment of being without my support and love right along side you.
The scariest day in our lives - also became the most treasured; the morning of your heart surgery. You were terrified that you wouldn't make it - but we knew it was something we'd get through together - no matter what - and we did. In the last minutes before we had to leave ... me thinking you were nervous about the surgery (realizing shortly that was not at all the reason for the nervousness!) ... you finally found the way and words to ask me to be your wife ... falling over your words ... and wanting to give me one more precious thing -- your last name.
Well - we know how this fairy tail ends, and it wasn't happily ever after. However, like the Garth Brooks song, "The Dance," I'd change nothing even knowing how the dance would end - my short time with you gave me so much. Gave me family I wouldn't have otherwise have had, friends I wouldn't otherwise have ever known, knowledge of fixing things in my house and my car (and of course Kenny to make sure I'm still able to!!) and a true deep long lasting love which gave my heart a spark I'd never really experienced before. A spark that with every little kiss it was felt all the way down to my toes! My only regret in loosing you 4 1/2 years ago, being your fiancee' for only 10 short days - was that we didn't have more time together. Anything we wanted to do, we did. From Saturday morning breakfast, to road trips, vacations with the kids and without, things around the house, holiday celebrations -- etc. if we talked about it - it usually happened!
So on this day - Tuesday, December 7th, 2010 - I remember that day exactly 11 years ago and I thank God for bringing such a person into my life - for however short the dance was. My heart will never be the same since you came into it -- as well as leaving it broken that infamous day in May. You referred to December 7th (which became an anniversary I wasn't aware of!) as "D day" - and one you could easily remember. Little did I know how much I'd treasure this day in years to come.
So, my darling, I wish you - Happy Anniversary! As you smile down on me today ... finding a way to let me know you are there ... hugging me ... I want to also say how much I love you and always will. I still think of you every day and are missing so much right now as I type these words - eyes misting up. I know mom gave you the messages I gave her for you -- which we discussed in her final weeks with us. I am still angry that you were taken from me - but I know I had no control over that - nor did you! I know someday we'll be together again and for that I do have comfort. I love you, sweetie ... always will!
Keep watching out for all of us ... you still ... are so sorrily missed by so many!
Happy 11th anniversary!!
endlessly,
Sueanne
July 13, 2010
Wow!
Hard to believe another birthday came and went! You would have been 57 on July 2 - and would have been one week of anguish that Kenny would give you about "being the same age" -- until HIS day on the 11th! We still talk about it ... it never goes without comment!
Years pass ... but I still have the aching heart wishing things had been different. How much different my life may have been, including my kids. Still, your life's lessons carry on with each of us ... the "WWJD's" (What Would Jim Do) still haunt us!
The comforting part is that mom is now with you and by now has given you the messages I gave her to give to you, again - so comforting to know she was with me one moment, and the next was staring at you! How awesome is THAT!! I knew she had been with you by the quarter she left me Friday (on your birthday) on the floor of the bathroom! Sitting there all by itself! We all miss her soooooo very much, babe! She was our angel on earth and now ... our guardian angel forever, but now is running, smiling, breathing so free and no more pain! Just like you!
Need to get back to the cemetary and water the pot! Been two days since I was there ... hoping not too late! I know how much you love flowers ... and I will never stop bringing them to you!
Well ... best go for now. Still working on loose ends for mom, least of which needs to be preparation for her memorial service on August 13th. I know you'll be there too -- you always did like St Martin's - well, Father Earle anyway!
Still miss you so very much, sweetheart. I didn't post anything here on your birthday (we kinda were busy with mom as you know) but I did want you to know ... you were NOT forgotten! As I've told you before - when you left this earth, you took a chunck of my heart with you.
Happy belated 57th, cutie!
Love you endlessly,
Sueanne
May 13, 2010
Good afternoon, baby doll -
As I see the clock turn to the hour of that dreadful day, it brings me to reflect yet again.
I say it as each year passes -- and yet it's as fresh today as it was four years ago. I can still see your smiling face ... and the somewhat angry one at times ... and I still miss you every waking minute. It's through you I have had the courage to move forward. It's because of you and everything I have through my kids that gives me the strength every day to say "I can do this -- I'll be fine" -- but still doesn't take away that desire of wishing things had been different. I see so many people around me, some with less quality of life - others with more, happy in their lives, sharing it with their special friend, soul mate and I hunger for that so bad!
However, it is for days like today that allow me to reflect on not just the hour you were pulled from my life, but to also thank God I had you in my life -- in my family's life -- even for such a short time. You gave more to those you touched in that time than most ever experience in a lifetime. Your life's lessons you gave, knowingly and unknowingly, have left a legacy most never see. To this day we all find ourselves reflecting on something you used to do, things you said and of course your sometimes wacky behavior (YES I said WACKY!!) that still has us shaking our heads in amazement! You were a bachelor -- living alone, yet your pantry shelves were that of a fallout shelter!
Also, Christians have a saying - "WWJD" (What would Jesus Do) ... however we often still find ourselves asking ... "now what would Luvender do?" And most times it turns out exactly correct. Yes, babe -- I said MOST times because whether you would ever admit it or not, you were NOT perfect!!
Anyway, it's nearing time I can start putting flowers on your site, so start looking for them! We all know how much you loved flowers -- giving AND receiving! I'll end this by again saying -- I love you, always will. There will always be a hole left in my heart to be filled by nothing until a time I see you again. Today is a day to remember, to mourn, to reflect -- but mostly to be thankful for putting a man in our lives like none other. Thank you, my love ... for all you gave me and continue to give me and my family. Continue to be with me and keep us in line, giving us that little sign once in a while to let us know you're still holding us.
Love you ... endlessly,
Sueanne
June 5, 2009
Well, baby doll ---
Who can believe it's been three years since so many lives were changed in an instant. So many hearts broken -- many tears shed, and many broken pieces needing to be picked up and attempts to put our lives back on some sort of track. Impossible? At the time most thought yes, however through all you taught anyone that touched your life in someway, we knew that the only way to keep your legacy alive and to honor your memory WAS to FIND ways to move on.
Some of us have had a much more difficult time with it, obviously, but as time has passed we've managed to do it all. THAT being --- to find ways to support each other and to make a life that you would have wanted us to make. We still do the "what would Jim say/do in this case??" And usually whenever your name is brought up (in good OR in vane!) it's always followed by smiles! So, I guess that's a GREAT positve sign that you will always be with us and although hearts still are heavy at times, we've found ways to move on WITH YOU!!
Sorry about the planter ... left one a little too early in the season (animals loved it!) and another on the anniversary of that dreadful day. I will be bringing flowers for the permanent vase that's there ... fresh flowers! You always loved flowers --- to give and receive. So why shouldn't you have them still!
So -- you see some family issues that we're up against! You're really being missed a lot lately so am sure you're right there with your support and guiding hands. Keep us all close and help us through this one too, babe -- okay??
What did you think of Caroline's big day?? COLLEGE grad!! We're all soooo proud of her!! Now her and Alex are back on their own ... trying this again! They are so cute together, don't you think??
What about the kids GPA's this last semester?? GREAT!! Lindsey - 3.925, Chris 2.9 and Caroline 3.55!! They sure don't get the academic skills from me!! Just their looks!!
Well, darlin --- gotta scoot for now. Hey -- did you hear I LOVE MY JOB??? GREAT people ... great atmosphere!! I'm so happy here! 4 weeks today!!
See you soon with the flowers. Thanks for ALWAYS being there!! I know you are! It's always nice, too -- when somehow you let us KNOW you're there! We all still miss you more than most realize!!
Love you ALWAYS!!!!
Sueanne
May 7, 2009
I miss you. I never thought I would miss you so much. I need your help now more than ever. Please just be with me in the next few weeks and months.
I love you.
Tonia Rossiter-Zurek
October 21, 2008
Thinking of you.....miss you tons!!!!
July 2, 2008
WOW!
55!! Discounts on menu's and everything! Happy Birthday!
Hard to believe we're working through a third birthday since you left. It does get easier to talk about and to remember. Special times still always bring some watery eyes, but there's always a smile along with it --- you wouldn't have it any other way!
My stomach is flipping today and my heart a bit heavy -- but along with all of that, this person you've put in my life certainly is helping the heavy heart. I'll never loose that feeling, though --- it can't every leave me as you were my first true love. No doubt of that -- ever. You not only loved me, unconditionally, but allowed me to grow into the person I am today. Confident and independent. I do smile a lot more now ... today I smile as I remember your day. Know what I think about when I think of you today? I remember your 50th birthday ... and how you had THREE celebrations! Today, on your birthday, I took you for a special dinner to Root 5 (a dinner that didn't agree with you!!) and gave you your present and a flower. Then on Saturday (July 5th) I threw you a "fake" surprise party at Pete's bar ... invited whoever could make it ... to throw you off --- because as we all know the following week was the party of the century! So many people ... like over 75 people ... including over 20 out of town family and friends, music, food, drink, volleyball and LOTS OF FUN and laughs! You were so surprised! The St Florians medal ... swing ... things that you treasured all from the ones that loved you! And the shirts! Who could ever forget! You WERE the man of the day! It surely was a party that people still talk about! Anyway ... when I think of your birthday and the ways to celebrate it or the ways we did, I think of that year ... and how I did all I could to keep your suspicions down! Who would have thought meek little Sueanne could pull off a deal like that! Family and friends that haven't been to Buffalo --- some in 20 years! Anyway, it was worth all the plans and every penny!
So today, darlin --- as you celebrate with mom and dad and your siblings (you ARE talking to all them now, aren't you? You HAVE finally made amends?), comfort all of us too ... somehow let us celebrate with you! And remember --- you and Ken ARE the same age now!!!
I will always love you ... you'll always have chunk of my heart --- you gave it life, I can't ever EVER deny that!
Happy 55th BABY!! As Keith Anderson sings --- I still miss you ... I'd give anything for ONE MORE MINUTE WITH YOU!!
Endlessly,
Sueanne
XOXOX
Troy Hernandez
June 14, 2008
This is for all that have had the experience of knowing a truly special person the way I did. A man that enjoyed life to its absolute fullist.I can only dream of having half the life that Jim has had and even though I didnt get a chance to share many times with him, the one's I did were truly memorable. My deepest gratitudes to all that were close and especially Sueanne. We have all lost a part of ourselves, while heaven has gained a remarkable angel. I need not grieve, just embrace all the memories because all that I have are good and couldn't wait to be apart of. Jim you will be missed beyond all words!!
Chrissy
May 15, 2008
Look what you did! Those words are usually preceded by ouch or im all wet, or something along those lines. But those are the best words to describe what you did. You gave me new members of my family, my new room mate, and most importantly the best friend I could ever ask for. I love her more than life itself. As you probably know I plan to honor your memory in a way you may not be to happy about. But it is the best way I know how to make sure you are always a part of me. You'll like it, I promise. I know you were with me on Tuesday, I could feel it. I know your with me everyday. Please continue to look out for everyone. And continue to guide me in the right direction. Not really to sure which way that is right now. I love you with all my heart.
May 13, 2008
Hey cutie --
(always cute in my eyes!)
Well ... already wrote you a novel early this morning ... which was technically the 13th ... anniversary date ... but looks like it got published with yesterday's date!
Just wanted to say that so far ... today ... I'm doing pretty good so far, and I'm convinced its because you are right here with me. Its real strange! I feel a big comfort right now ... and this was a good way for me to acknowledge that .... and to tell you that I KNOW you are with me always. Kinda thinking you'll have your arms around me ... at 1:55 this afternoon as well. Holding on to me at the specific time you left me ...talking on the phone to our little angel ... holding me as you moved on.
Can you believe Lindsey is 18? Yesterday ... wow. Keep your arms around her too, babe. She's going through a lot of difficult emotions as she moves on to the next stage of her life. She knows how proud we are ... she knows how much you're watching and helping her ... again PROUD of her as well! You have given us signs ... every once in a while to remind us ... that you are always with us ... keep her in line too, will you?
Continue to help me keep the kids in line --- one way or another. No detail necessary --- you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!
A lot going on in my life, as you know. My head, my heart --- Everything works out ... it will, I know that. You know how much I need you guiding me ... no one knows me like you do. Don't leave me, babe!
Well ... ending before the eyes fill up. Needed to just let you know ... that yes, I KNOW you are right here ... watching me today. Holding me ... and looking at me with the same adoring eyes you always did (I can't see them, but will forever be imbedded in my memory). I love you, sweetie --- always will. And today ... two year anniversary of that infamous day, my heart is truly heavy ... and hurts --- really is HURTING ... thru my chest. BUT ... the sun is shining ... in celebration of your life with us ... and I AM smiling! Its actually ... a good day!
Love you always .. endlessly .. bunches and bunches!!
your fiancee always,
Sueanne
May 12, 2008
My sweetheart,
Another anniversary, so hard to believe its been two years since that devasting day you left me ... left all of us that loved you more than even we could tell. We know this now --- because when you were stripped from our hearts, a huge hole was left that nothing ever will fill. Am sure the healing will help and as we all support each other, we talk about it easier now.
Its been two years since you asked me to marry you ... I still feel my heart so filled with love .. just remembering those words at 5:25 am on May 3, 2006. I still savor each word ... as you bumbled over what you wanted to say ... the words I waited for, so long ... the words that would eventually allow me to share the one thing I wasn't able to up til then --- your name. The days to follow were so scary, but we got through them --- together and with a huge support system right with us. The outcome, of course as we now know, wasn't one we picked, but one that for some reasons we really don't know, had to be. One thing I do know was that you finally had no more pain. You can now breathe better, taste better, smell better, and have no more pain --- chest or otherwise!
We've all found our own ways to cope ... to accept what was meant to be and to take all we were blessed to learn from you and have it teach us ... not break us down. I still hurt --- a lot --- moreso lately, and you do know why. Don't know why you felt I needed to experience all that pain again, but I do at least know that my heart can love again. I can feel your arms around me ... every once in a while, when I listen to a song, visit your site to vent or bring flowers, or whenever I'm down about something. You still know when I'm hurting ... you still hear my tears ... and you comfort me through them.
There's a song out by Keith Anderson ... I think its called "I still miss you" ... and it is so fitting. One of the lyrics says "I'd give anything for just one minute with you" --- how true. One wouldn't ever be enough, but would certainly help the pain.
So much we didn't do. So much we're missing as a couple. Although you're not able to be here physically to share everything, I know you are with us in our hearts ... and watching down and protecting each of us! Lindsey's graduation and moving on with nearly a full scholarship to LeMoyne University, Caroline and Chrissy becoming roomies, great fun in Myrtle Beach with the Bagley's, each of the kids upcoming graduations from college, the girls dance recitals, upcoming weddings --- so so much more!
I know you realize how hard I am trying to move on. I know from the note you managed to get thru to me through Lee during his last times here with us, how much you loved and admired all I was to you and us to each other --- and above all your desire for me to move on. It is with all we learned from each other and all you've taught me .. that I am able to be the survivor I am today. It was from some very wise words from my sister - Cindy, actually that encouraged me .. to do that! Did I want to wallow in self pity and sympathy ... or let your legacy live on instead by being a shining example of all we were to each other ... ? If I chose the sympathy route then all we were would have been for nothing and like the relationship never existed. So because of all this, you live on not only in the many peoples lives you helped by tissue donation, but you live in me ... you live in Ken ... you live in each of my kids ... you live on in all of Ken's family --- in particular the kids ... we all are better people because of you.
Only you can understand the heartache I feel ... you see it. I trust you will be guiding me to where I need to be as well as where I do NOT need to venture off to! I will always have you with me ... in my heart. You took it so many years ago ... and you took it with you ... two years ago today. I know there's still a lot of love to be had and to be given yet from this broken heart. It just will take a LOT of trust ... and a lot of love ... to be able to share it again.
Well, my darling --- get us through this day. So many will be recalling all those heartaches ... each dreadful minute at the hospital and all the horror that followed. All the disbelief that you really were --- gone from our lives ... never to be held again. Hold us today ... watch over us ... comfort us.
In closing, in all we've come to know, in all the people we've crossed, in all our lives ups and downs, there is no doubt --- there will never EVER be another man ... like you, my darling. Not for me, not for your family and friends ... not for anyone that knew you. There will always only be ONE Jim Luvender. My one true soul mate. I love you sweetie ... with every thing I have.
I miss you ... more than you know. I love you forever. My heart still beats through my chest ... aches for you ... something I will never have again.
endlessly yours,
Sueanne
Chrissy
May 11, 2008
God saw you getting tired
And a cure was not to be
So He put His arms around you
And whispered 'Come with Me.'
With tearful eyes
We watched you suffer
And saw you fade away
Although we loved you dearly
We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating
Hard working hands at rest
God broke our hearts to prove
He only takes the best.
It's lonesome here without you
We miss you more each day
Life doesn't seem the same
Since you've gone away.
When days are sad and lonely
And everything goes wrong
We seem to hear you whisper
'Cheer up and carry on.'
Each time we see your picture
You seem to smile and say
'Don't cry, I'm in God's keeping
We'll meet again someday.'
pretty fitting huh! I miss you, my heart breaks everytime i think about you
Chris
March 8, 2008
As the 2yr anniversary of the day you left us rapidly approaches I cant stop thinking about you. I had a dream about you the other nite, the first one since you died that wasnt a flashback of that horrible day. In my dream I begged you not to leave and you just looked at me. Needless to say I woke up crying, to see you again...how you were, how I should remember you was a mix of emotions. I know it was some sort of sign. What it means I havent the slighest idea. When does this get easier. Theres not a day that goes by that I dont think about you and wonder what I should have done differently and if it would have made a difference. If I would have reacted faster or tried CPR would you still be here?? These thoughts drive me crazy. I miss the fun times we used to have, like me hiding your vodka and you throwing a soaking wet ball at me. I would give anything and I mean anything to be able to see and talk and hug you again. Just to see you smile and hear you laugh. Just once, thats all I want. I dont think its to much to ask do you?!
December 28, 2007
Well ... we made it through!
Hey - babe. Our second holiday season is nearly over with and so far the kids and I survived. Still seems a bit odd, but we are all trying new traditions, keeping some of the old ones ... intact. Was a nice thought knowing that your house was filled with holiday love again ... after all the prior years --- it was a great feeling!
I apologize for not writing to you on our anniversary, but you weren't far from my thoughts that day. I talked about it to a few people, actually! Nice thoughts ...great memories. You are always in my heart ... a place you planted and took over --- 8 years ago. You also taught me to feel ... and I know, in time, that heart you nurtured and still beats through my chest when I feel your arms around me, will love again. If not for you, that could never have happened!
Well ... New Years Eve will be at Ken's again with all the family, extended family and some friends. Am hoping 2008 will be another year of growth and healing! I will be, of course, remembering all our New Year's Eve's together ... and thanking you for all you gave me, more in the way of support and encouragement than anything else!
I miss you, sweetheart --- and ask that you continue to stay by my side guiding me and the kids! We miss you more than anyone can possible ever imagine ...
Love you ... endlessly!
Sueanne
Tonia Rossiter-Zurek
October 20, 2007
Still soo sadly missed! And always in our thoughts!!
For you Aunt Sue:
My dearest loved one, here on earth,
I saw a tear fall down your face.
You didn’t see me standing there,
Nor could you feel my soft embrace.
But I was standing next to you,
I know you looked around.
You seemed to wonder what it was
You thought you heard a sound.
Yes my love, it was I,
Who came to check on you.
I saw a tear fall from your eye,
I knew you were feeling blue.
Even though you cannot see me.
Please know that I am near
I am now an angel from above
To brush away your tear.
I know each day you think of me
And many times shed a tear.
But please just close your eyes
And know that I am near.
As I have told you often,
Do not be afraid to cry.
It does relieve the pain
Knowing we had to say goodbye.
One thing is for certain,
Even though life on earth is o’er
I’m still closer to you now
Than ever I was before.
I know you still don’t understand
Why I had to leave this earth
God doesn’t have any secrets;
It’s just all planned from our birth.
Someday when you have joined me
And meet God at His Throne,
It’s then you will understand
The questions that have been unknown
August 31, 2007
My forever soulmate,
Well my darlin -- 1586 Parker is once again filled with love and laughter and once again memories are being made there. For so long now its been filled with heartache ... missing the wonderful memories and laughter we shared there --- between each other and the countless others that always passed through and stopped by --- announced or unannounced --- to be entertained by your ball-busting ways and a beverage or two or three or four, etc! That garage in the summer time, man --- how much entertaining did we do there! Stocked frig, stocked goodie cabinet, burgers and dogs always available to grill --- anyone that stopped always knew they were welcome to anything you had and knew they'd always go away entertained in one way or another!
It is difficult passing by the house now knowing I won't ever have those times there again. All I have are memories inside that will forever be mine and no one can EVER take those away from me. My comfort in seeing others in "our home" is that not only is someone there that loves the house and it has become their first "home", but that it now has allowed me to physcially move on to the next phase in my life without you. Hurt? DAMN right it hurts like hell! I still cry (and as I'm typing these words my eyes are filling up) but they are tears of contentment knowing this is what you wanted me to do. I know that only because I know YOU sent this family to me ... to fill this house. The way everything worked out there is no other explanation other than YOU had a hand in it.
My trip back from Jamestown on Monday --- remember that? Man --- I try to switch things up and listen to a CD and randomly pick one out. First song I listen to was a song the girls and I deemed our "theme song for our Myrtle Beach Trip" --- a rendition of Take me Home Country Road and had me be-bopping and singing all by myself! However the next song was (and YOU KNEW YOU were doing this to me!) one that brought me into your arms in nothing flat --- "You had me from Hello", a song that you always said was your song for me. A song that said that from the moment I ever first said hello you "knew" this was it. In the song it goes on to talk about a wall around your heart you never thought would come down due to prior experiences (which you told me was how you had felt) --- yet with one touch from me, the wall came down. I knew you were with me in that car ride home and by the time I listened to that song a few times, one of the next songs on this "random" cd, was I'll always be there" which goes on to not only say those words, but says that you'll be there "til the Lord takes you away" --- therefore AGAIN I knew you were sitting right next to me in the jeep reminding me that no matter what, you will ALWAYS be with me. You have always been my angel, sweetheart! I know that now and I know that you now are my very special Guardian Angel and I know you continue to watch over and teach me in the various things I attempt to do. Even with the things that go on with the kids, you manage to help guide me to do the right thing. May not always follow thru, but I do KNOW what's right.
We still talk about your note you wrote ... through Lee during his last times with us. Caroline has (as you know) framed it and it hangs above the fireplace for us to always remember how strong your love for me and for us was ... that you found a way from where you are to get a physical message to me. Not many are lucky enough to have such a bond, I know I was truly blessed having you in my life ... even as short as it was. It was something that I never took for granted during those 6 years and we both always knew how each other felt. There was never a question and even to the last time I looked into your eyes and told you I loved you bending down to kiss you goodbye --- and you looking back with such gratitude and love, there was never a doubt where our hearts were.
Well since I'm not able to see what I'm typing, I think its time to end this one! You are missed so much sweetheart! Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, us --- what we were and what we were to be. I can't even imagine ever being blessed with those feelings again. Most never have it ... I had it once. And believe me I know how wonderful it felt! And even knowing the outcome ... I'd do it all over again. Like the song by Garth Brooks --- the dance.
Miss you endlessly, my darling!
Love always,
"Your loving gal"
Tonia Rossiter-Zurek
August 31, 2007
Still missing your guidance, your laugh, and your "jokster" ways daily--but most of all we all miss the endless smile you gave Aunt Sue! You are, and always will be, greatly and sadly missed in our lives!
Last Thanksgiving dinner together - 11-24-05
August 22, 2007
Lunch on Miami Beach!
August 22, 2007
Breakfast with the Characters (the one on the left!)
August 22, 2007
Always handing out the love hugs! Florida vacation - September, 2005
August 22, 2007
Last vacation together - Florida, September 2005
August 22, 2007
July 29, 2007
Well darlin --- hard to believe!
Yesterday was the real first day that we actually started pulling all your many treasures from all your nooks and crannies. It really shouldn't have come as such a shock to us as we found stuff you saved ... with NO real good reason --- Kenny constantly kept saying "WHY??? He did this ... JUST TO ANNOY ME!" Glass doors from a sliding door you don't even have, overflow pipe from a water heater that's been gone forever, two 8 pack's of 7-up from forever ago and the list goes on and on!
Today I'm here alone, trying to sort thru memories and what I want versus what I'm able to really take, what the kids want, what Ken wants, etc. The rest will be sold at Saturday's garage sale.
So many memories --- this is all so bitter sweet. Needing to move on, sell your home with all the wonderful memories in it, is something I need to do. As I type this I'm misting YET AGAIN! I still miss you and my chest still aches as my heart throbs just realizing how final all this is --- never to hold you or look into your eyes again. The beautiful, wonderful memories I have remind me of all we had, how lucky we were. How lucky I was to have had you in my life and taught me so much. I would never be the strong person I am today without all that.
Well --- back to work. Few hours here and there is the only way this is going to get done. Help me through this, sweetheart. Help guide me by pushing me (cracking that whip) and telling me what to keep ... and what to sell.
Love you, darlin! I still miss you every single day.
Always ... and endlessly yours,
Sueanne
June 16, 2007
Hello my darling!
Here it is -- another Father's day eve, with the sun shining brightly and all the fun yard work to get the houses in order. Pool is opened and flowers planted just the finishing touches and maintenance! Then, on the rainy days --- catch up with the insides!
As I look forward to doing all that, knowing how much we both got into our yards (who am I kidding!! YOU were so much bigger at that than me!) I sit here and glance at the single rose that has bloomed on your rose bush along the fence as well as a few other flowers you always loved. That plan will be to take those bloomed flowers to you and put in with your flowers I have there now. It is my way of having YOUR flowers you loved ... still a part of you and your enjoyment!
I got to reading some mail between us as I sat here at your computer and the one and only one that I read today included your recapping a conversation we had had just days prior ...
"I was REALLY happy with the conversation we had after dinner last night also. I didn’t think you would be interested in something that was in my family, but you also know what those diamonds mean to me & I always wanted you to have a ring made from them. As you know, money has been a bit tight around here. I always wanted you to have a ring from me, but never had the money. When I did, we always went away, which I also loved. Let’s do what we talked about last night, & have a nice ring made for you – one that you would like, as long as it stays in budget !! LOL !!! Seriously, I would be honored for you to be my wife someday. Soooooooo as soon as we can get a little time, let’s go get a ring made …. Sound like a plan ?? I’m going tom take a nap for a bit. I’m a bit exhausted from the running this morning. Let me know what time you want to be picked up. See ya soon !!!
Love Ya TONS !!!!
Jim XOXOXOXO "
Obviously, we all know that although we didn't go together to have the ring made, we did end up having the perfect ring made up --- of those diamonds that meant so much to you AND including the heart shaped birthstones from the ring you gave me many years back symbolizing "two hearts joined as one". The perfect engagement ring! One I'm ALWAYS proud to wear.
Well, sweetie --- time to get that work done --- you STILL crack the whip!
Happy FATHERS DAY, my love!!
Love ya ... ENDLESSLY!
Sueanne
May 18, 2007
My sweetheart, my best friend--
This week has been especially difficult - each day with its own memory, from the night I brought you home from the hospital, the days we walked - each tackling one more house ... one more house, to the first night you did NOT sleep in the recliner (Friday, 5-12 - slept on the couch, but better than the recliner), to the dreadful afternoon you left me, to Mother's day the next day when Kenny presented to me the earrings and bracelet you had gotten for me to -- as you always did -- honor my spot as a mom, to the preparations Ken and I took for your the perfect ceremony fitting for the "DEVOTED SERVANT" you always were right down to the hours at the funeral home and of course, 5/17 -- the day we all said good-bye to a wonderful man. EACH one of these memories included so many people who loved you, and who's undying support was no doubt the only way I and all of my family and of course Kenny managed to get through all the pain. I will forever be grateful to so many people and could never begin to mention names. My family, Paul for his totally taking charge of the who what where's of things necessary for the funeral home. Having him appear in the ER that dreadful afternoon ... out of no where ... is something I will never EVER forget. Candi -- who through all her own personal pain stepped up to the plate for all the mass cards and thank you cards and whatever was necessary to make the time at the funeral home a true tribute to this so sadly missed man, her cousin.
The tribute the Fire Hall gave you Monday night was something that left everyone there stunned and misty-eyed, no doubt. The constant honor guard by your side for every minute we were there both days was definitely a bold reminder of just how much you touched so many people in your life. You were a devoted servant to your community both in your job and hobby as a Volunteer Fireman for over 30 years. The day we said good-bye your entire town joined in your honor. From the police and fire embraced motorcade to the various townspeople stopping in honor and salute as we passed by down to the fire ladder arch erected in your honor at the entrance to the cemetary. The eulogies given by not only me but Mary Kay and each of your "step" kids certainly was yet again, a huge tribute to so much you gave of yourself to so many people. Many you never even knew --- but knew you. The Ladies Auxiliary went out of their way to prepare a wonderful lunch for so many people that still needed to gather in your honor. As we always discussed, it was truly a "fireman's funeral" right down to the celebration to follow. We laughed amongst our pain and drank to a man that inspired our lives in a way no other will ever be able to touch.
Like many that I know, I can remember so much detail about those last days together as well as our last hours as we all had to say good-bye --- as if it was yesterday. I realize, too -- there are equally as many that due to my emotions, have forgotten, but whatever I "need" to remember, I do.
Like I've said before and now that your partner ("815") has seen it and blessed it, its official ... and one more part of closure has happened. Your marker is in ... and your new home is nearly complete. The grass still needs to grow, but that will come in time. But, for now --- its as complete as it will be until I join you. For now, its your home and I will be sure it remains one you will be proud to entertain visitors at! The "Hill of Honor!" Absolutely very fitting!
One year ... so hard to believe. Still, although I live each day, one at a time and have many people around me, you gave me so much life for such a short time we had together. Without you, without that life, I am so empty inside and still stay numb. I find it very hard to believe I will ever EVER have that feeling again. It truly was a once in a lifetime relationship!
I miss you, my darling --- every minute of every day. I know you are always with me and having you there with me on Mother's Day when I AGAIN experienced the "lost earring" ordeal ... only to have YOU HELP me once again, find it! Our love ... our connection ... is most definitely one that exists beyond life on earth. I know you will always be there for me.
I love you my darling! My heart still hurts ... missing you so bad!
Stay with us always, babe. Continue to show me signs of your presence --- its more comforting than you will ever know!
I love you ENDLESSLY, James Edward Luvender!
Forever yours,
Sueanne
john carpenter
May 18, 2007
Jim, i can't believe its been over a year just wanted to let you know i honered your anniversary by wearing your badge on my uniform both the 13th and 14th, if anyone noticed they never said a thing, you and i were the holdouts on these badges and i thought it would be a great tribute. Saw the headstone for the first time on the 13th, Sueanne you did a great job very fitting.
JOHN 815
Your Sister...Cyn
May 16, 2007
It's so hard for most to believe that a year has gone by already. "Susie", you may not see it but you continue to get stronger with each day although we all know it hasn't been an easy task. I was so proud of you Sunday - how you maintained your composure - not just because it was Mother's Day but the first anniversary of your worst nightmare. The "earring story" was quite comforting knowing Jim was still looking out after you. When you need to vent and get "things" out, remember your family and friends are here for you and you ARE NOT a burden on us...I love ya, Sue
Always loved posing for pics! It was a GREAT vacation filled with so many wonderful memories, darlin!
May 15, 2007
Olive Garden with your super friend Dennis!
May 15, 2007
Lunch on the beaches of Miami! Another huge plus! You were loving life!
May 15, 2007
Your favorite part of Disney!
May 15, 2007
Once a jokester - always a jokester! Never changed and we LOVED that about you!!
May 15, 2007
St Pete's Pier - Best family in the world!
May 15, 2007
St Petersburg Pier - September '05
May 15, 2007
One of our best vacations! Although was the last - September '05. Will never forget that smile!
May 15, 2007
Just comes natural - relaxing in the pool with favorite beverage and a great friend
May 15, 2007
Christine
May 13, 2007
I thought about you a lot today, its been a year already. I can still remember everything about that day like it was yesterday. Today was kind of rough, as you probably know I came to visit you today. The headstone is beautiful, Sueane did a grat job picking it out. I'm so proud of her, she has been so strong through out the past 12 months. I hope that you were with her today she really needed it.
Love Forever,
Chris
Sueanne
May 3, 2007
Happy Anniversary, my darlin!
Wow -- here we are at what could have been a happy time for us to be celebrating, instead I'm bringing flowers to the cemetary. One year ago today ... at 5:25 am on the brink of a scary surgery you asked me a question I'd waited so long to hear --- one that made me the happiest I'd been in a long time. And of course --- my overwhelming response was "YES SWEETHEART! OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU!" It gave both of us something to look forward to following your surgery that would be "giving you a higher quality of life" enabling us to live forever together. Once at the hospital and one by one our family and friends learning of our official promise to each other brought such a happy diversion to the scary hours to come. As soon as the girls learned of our plans, each was sure they'd be the maid of honor and began planning a wedding/honeymoon cruise -- including them, of course! Others joked about it and were certain it was a question asked under duress and could be rescinded in the days to follow! We both knew, of course --- it wasn't and wouldn't --- as its been something we had talked about for a long time.
Those trying hours to follow at the hospital were nail biting and gruelling, but we all got through it, most importantly YOU! Your days of recovery were most impressive by all! Including the doctors! We all know now, however, it all wasn't meant to be, as God had other plans and had them all along. No one can question his actions, but I sure can pass along my opinion --- most obviously that I wasn't ready to let you go! Our lives were just about to get started, especially now with our plans to marry. Our plans to share one thing we hadn't been able to up to this point and you talked so much about giving that to me --- that was your name. A name I was going to be so proud to bear. Again, not meant to be.
These next few weeks will be amongst the hardest I've worked through this past year. I am recalling each day ... in some cases each hour ... of the events of last year. The songs on the radio support all these emotions and add to my recall.
It is very rare we meet someone in our lives that we connect so well with, who knows our every thought, understands our ups and our downs, that you need and want to share so much with --- a soul mate and more importantly, a true best friend. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and what we had and that I don't thank the Lord for putting you in my life. Like the song "the Dance", I would never give up what He gave me in you, knowing I would only have you for such a short time. (Funny --- I have to stop here and thank you --- because as I'm typing these words, the song "The Dance" is playing. I love you so DAMN MUCH!!!)What we had, my darling, in such a short time, is more than most ever have in a lifetime --- IF THEY ARE lucky enough to even find it at all.
The song you always told me was so symbolic of how you felt about me ---- "you had me from hello" is one I will always hold close to my heart. You most definitely stole my heart. When you left me that dreadful Saturday, May 13th at 1:55 pm --- you took a part of my heart that will never be complete again. It can't because you had it then ... you have it still. It doesn't belong to me anymore.
I will close at this point again saying how much I miss you. Your Horton's coffee, your phone calls, your spontaneous flowers, your smile, your touch, and yes --- even the moods! I'd give anything to hear you yell at me even!
Thank you for giving me so many wonderful memories. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for asking me to marry you ... I will forever be your fiancee! Forever the "future Mrs Sueanne Luvender!" And like your marker (that was finally set!!) says, we will be "together forever!" Happy anniversary, my darling!
I miss and love you endlessly, sweetheart!
Sueanne
Christine
April 19, 2007
That was an amazing poem, it defintely is true. And I know that you are up there looking down on us. Laughing at all the stupid things we do. But I want to be selfish. I want to scream out why? and its not fair, and I want you to be here again. I told Sueanne for the first time about a month ago how I felt about that day. And it made me feel better. Only she could know how I feel and understand it. No one understands the thoughts that go through my head every day like she does, because I know she has the same ones too. It's been almost a yr now, and like Sueanne said its just as hard now as it was that day. And I know it will take time for it not to hurt as bad, but I know it will always be there. I cant change it, as much as I would give anything to, I cant. Sometimes I wonder if I can deal with the memories of that day, sometimes it so hard to comprehend what actually happened. Theres a saying that God only takes the best, and I guess its true. But why do we have to lose the best? Again Im being selfish. I just miss you. Uncle Ron is home now, for a month anyway. And its good to have him home. I know Uncle Ken needed him. I know I did. He wasnt here when it felt like the world got turned upside down, and hes the only one I know who can make a bad thing look a little better. I know everything happens for a reason, but I cant for the life of me cant figure this one out. Now im just rambling, I guess thats what happens when your head and your heart are fighting with eachother. So im going to end this now. All I can say is that I hope you know how much I love you and miss you.
April 18, 2007
Sweetie:
Wow ... Toni typed those words for you ... reading them, I felt you reading them to me and to all who read this! How perfect! It brought so many tears ... of memory, sadness but also of comfort and warmth knowing ... that all me feelings of KNOWING you are with me always and always watching over me, protecting me and reminding me of all you've taught and given me including the ability to survive and "move on" are real and OKAY to have!
No matter where I go or where God's plan leads me, you have made such a huge impact on my life, my children's life, my family's life and all the extended family and friends' life that you will always hold a huge part of my heart. There is no way an impact like that will ever EVER be forgotten. Impossible! Its BECAUSE of you I now live ... and know how to love ... in particular how to love myself and ALLOW myself to feel, to love ... to LIVE!! I am the person I am today because God put you into my life, JUST like the poem Toni typed ... says.
The one year mark is just around the corner. I plan to extend all my gratitude to many people as that anniversary approaches. I've been listening to you and I will take care of that and I know you will be pleased. I have to say, though, that many people said time will heal, and I have to believe that. However, my heart aches as bad today as it did 11 months ago! When I drive by anyplace we've been or hear a song or see a picture or something you gave me .. ANYTHING .. I ache ... get misty.
This will most definitely be a very VERY difficult time for me, expecially being on Mother's day. It won't even feel like a special day ... it will be a very sad day for me. I know I will be at the cemetary a lot ... because that's where I want to be.
Well ... enough for now. Starting to loose it again! I miss you more than anyone can possible imagine! It just was NOT fair to loose you! Life was finally on a good path ... we had so much yet to accomplish. So much left undone.
I love you, my darling. You are always with me ... and always in my heart. I do look forward to the day we will be together again!
Always and endlessly yours,
Sueanne
Tonia Rossiter-Zurek
April 17, 2007
I saw this poem and thought of Uncle Jim, in some way it may help thinking this way...
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."
It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.
Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author)
©Copyright 1998-2007
Uncle Jim: No matter how much time goes by you will always be sadly missed! You were an asset in all of our lives! The world is so much darker a place with out you in it. You brightened up everyone around you! Love & miss you terribly! Tonia
Christine
March 15, 2007
I cant belive that we are approaching the one year mark. It still doesnt seem like its real. Not a single day goes by that I dont think about you and wonder if your watching me....if you know what Im thinking, how im feeling. If you know the guilt I feel everyday for not being able to help you, or the pain for not being able to help Sueanne and Kenny. Sometimes I dont know what to think, or how to feel. And for some reason "saying" things on here actually help a little bit. Its like I actually get to talk to you. I try so hard to be strong, for Sueanne mostly, and for my own sanity. I dont know. I miss you, I miss your voice, your smile, the evil little laugh you did when you were trying to agrevate me. I would give anything in the world to see and hear it all just one more time. Take care of everyone for me please...i love you!
Sueanne
March 13, 2007
Hey darlin --
So hard to believe we're at 10 months already. I still live each day, waking and starting each day as if it were a robotic program. I'm still so fuzzy on my direction. So much to do yet putting it all on the back burner as if its NOT reality and won't be if I don't do it. In my head I know you're gone and not able to hold you or call you ... or look into your eyes and feel the love. My heart ... well, trying to move on but we all know our "first true loves" never leave. You make room for another, if that's God's plan --- but you build on what was there, never accepting less and always taking what you learned from those relationships as we learn to love again. Can never replace what was there, only create new feelings.
Not one day goes by without thoughts of you, what we had and still --- how UNFAIR it was to end a relationship that was so perfect. Not many have in a lifetime what we had in a very short six years. I guess I should feel lucky. Somehow, right now -- today on the 10 month anniversary of loosing you --- "lucky" isn't a word that comes to mind to describe how I feel. EXTREMELY down, low --- alone amongst so many friends and family --- alone. To have to accept my daily struggles, including laborous tasks, on my own and making decisions I always shared with you are amongst some of my depressing times. My constant trips to your house dealing with whatever needs to be dealt with. Wishing you were the one there watching one of the TV's I may have left on and could tell me what to do! You taught me so much and for that --- I'm able to make those decisions or know who to ask to help move toward the best answer. The hardest part??? Doing all this --- and doing my best to keep a smile on my face so others around me don't see the pain.
Natalie and Joe's little Maddie arrived a week ago today! Madelyn Kathleen Gallagher weighed in at 9 lbs 2 oz, 21 1/2 inches long! And she's absolutely GORGEOUS! Along with the gift, in the card I reminded them that there are now at least TWO VERY SPECIAL ANGELS watching over this newest angel! Her grandpa --- and her Uncle Jim!
Another first coming up, too by the way --- St Patty's Day dinner! You always made it for us! New tradition ... making it for Sunday "Bagley dinner" at my house. Won't ever be the same, of course ... I'll do my best to have same as you made! Planning to take green flowers to you today for the holiday --- not sure how long they'll last with the hungry critters, but for however long they'll last, you deserve them! As soon as the ground allows, I'll have our marker placed ... then with the vase I'll be bringing you flowers all the time!
Well ... back to work. Lots going on ... stuff I normally share with you, but yet again --- I'm on my own. I miss you still, sweetheart, so damn much! The ache is always there, stronger when I hear that song or something hits me to remind me of something you did, said or we did together. Guide me ... and always when possible, show me somehow that you are in fact, with me --- helping me still, as I truly believe our love can work even through the distance now put between us.
Love you endlessly!
Forever and always
your loving fiancee
Sueanne
Christine
March 2, 2007
This is one of my favorite pictures. You can almost see how big his heart is in this picture.
What a natural -- buds for life! Didn't matter where or when!
Sueanne Miller
March 1, 2007
Kinda of appropriate that I find this picture ... the Bobbsie Twins ... two peas in a pod! What a most natural photo! Buds for life ... nothing too big or too small to deal with for each other! Even if it meant a trip to Canada ... or a pit stop on the way home! No two friends could ever possibly be closer. Couldn't even have been closer if from the same womb. Even though you don't walk this earth, darlin, your bond with Kenny can't ever be broken. So sadly missed, yet evident that you live on within him. Your "annal" ways of doing things constantly flow from our lips ... and we do practice as much as we can! Well, at least I DO! Well ... at least I try! But Ken? He still "thinks" like you as far as how to do something or where you might have something stored, etc! So obvious ... you will never be out of our lives. We even ... still party with you! CRAZY! You are still --- most sadly missed, sweetie! LOVE YOU ENDLESSLY
Hen
February 28, 2007
Jim, 2/26/07
Today brings yet another "first" for our Susie!! Her birthday! Here I sit and remember all the sweet things you always did for her on this day and wonder how we could even begin to help her get through it! Today she definitely needs your strength as I know she looks for in each day! Some "sign" that you are with her. Some song on the radio at that precise minute when she's remembering or thinking of you. SHE KNOWS!
She called me last night to describe "the gift" that the kids had given her (and the fact that you indeed had a part in deciding
what that "perfect" gift should be.
The two hearts interlocked...yes how appropriate!!!)
Each day still is a struggle for her, just to get focused and "play the role" and we all see it. She still tries to be so brave, so strong. Knowing you'd be on her to not be anything but! It's so hard to see her hurt. Especially on this special day. Not really anything much anyone can do for her, for I know what she'd really wish for.
I just ask that today....of all days, for you to give her a little extra PUSH...a little extra strength and as many little signs as you can to reassure her that you are,as we all know,..watching over our girl!
You truly are so very much missed..MR. LUVENDER!! Even all those long drawn out..."stories" of yours!! What i'd give to hear them again...(and again and again and again....etc...etc..)
Your loving "FAVORITE" sister-in-law!!!!
Sueanne
February 26, 2007
Well --- here we are again, babe!
Another first ... one of those special days that you always managed to make even more special than the one before. It's my birthday!
As I type now ... my eyes are filling, just all by themselves without even thinking about it! Heard your special greeting this morning as I passed by the cemetary and yes, I heard you tell me how much you love me --- I LOVE YOU TOO!! Last night's dinner at Joanne's was so very nice and very special. As you know, Joyace and Pete came along with Tim, Caroline and Lindsey. Everyone had chipped in and bought the firepit! I loved it! Not to mention the makings of smores! Your input to what the kids bought (the kids told me that you were there with them when they got it ... and you helped) was absolutely right on the money! The necklace --- the double heart pendant --- symbolizing our love and the connection our hearts will always have, so perfect! Obviously, as expected, the tears were flowing as my heart seemed to beat out of my chest!! They were so proud and knew exactly what they had done for me.
Today, damn, is so hard! Birthdays used to be fun. I haven't felt so down and so alone in a while. Today, in spite of being at work ... being treated to dinner by Cyn and Hen ... is just not the same. Everyone knows how hard it is and are doing their best to make it a different kind of special since everyone knows you aren't able to. No one can do what you did and no one is trying. Just trying to get me through it and I LOVE everyone for that! There really is only one thing I want for my birthday --- and I'll never have it. Not in this lifetime, anyway.
Well, my darling --- before I get another person asking me if I'm okay, I best end this for now. I just needed to let you know how much I miss you --- always, but especailly today. That day of the year you always made special for me. I miss you sweetheart --- but you knew that already. Please be with me today, somehow --- to comfort me through a difficult time. The tears are so close to the surface and have lost it more than a few times already. Hold me ... somehow ... let me feel you!
God --- I miss you James E. Luvender!
Forever ... love you endlessly,
Sueanne
February 12, 2007
Darlin,
As I type this am broaching on midnight ... of which will mark 9 months since you left us. Since you left the life we made and hopes of that future together, making new dreams, setting new goals and enjoying the ride. It still is not easy ... not a day goes by that I don't weaken in the memory of us and what could have been and what will never ever be. The support around me is immeasurable -- couldn't ever ask for more ... or for a better support system. Some things, though --- have to be worked through on your own -- on my own, God wiling with YOUR help. You know how weak I am and how much I counted on your guidance. Be it for mechanical issues, money, work or help with one of the kids newest quirk. Even the dogs ... I need reminding of their heartworm meds and trips to the vet!
Missing you ... so much. Hearing the songs, seeing certain things that remind me of you. Being at your house for various reasons just has a way of throwing me into the past. I've been leaving the TV on for a few reasons ... the sound of life in the house ... plus peeking back and seeing the TV on reminds me of the many times I'd come over while you were sleeping for work ... TV on. So I am quickly brought to a place ... and can imagine that you are sleeping in your bedroom ... and is a comforting thought, even if just for a few seconds! Then, of course, reality strikes and I loose it! BUT its all worth it for those few seconds of having you in the house! CRAZY?? Maybe, but it helps!
Another first around the corner ... one that will be very difficult for me! My birthday! We always made a point to keep the birthdays ... celebrated! Especially the last ones we've had! You made mine ... always a celebration, and I always loved you for that! For now, we are planning to make a weekend out of it ... I NEED to do that! I KNOW it will be hard and I no doubt will loose it a few times, but will be worth it. It will be a way to have you with me ... I guess in some small dumb way! It will be a toughy, darlin! I'll NEED YOU WITH ME --- PLEASE!!!!! Here we go again! It's okay, tho -- tears allow me to feel you ... it hurts, but is calming.
Well... is late and I'm kinda tired, so will say good nite again. Oh .. by the way, did you like the fire? Lindsey and I had our FIRST FIRE in our fireplace! Was so nice, wasn't it??? You loved the fireplace! I made it for all of us! Nice, huh???
Good nite, my darlin! Missing you ... so damn bad! These anniversaries and "firsts" ... SUCK!!! But allow me to fall into the memories ... and get away with all the emotion that comes with it!
Love you ENDLESSLY, sweetheart!
Forever,
Sueanne
January 12, 2007
Sweetie,
Tomorrow ... will be 8 months since I last looked into your eyes to tell you how much I loved you. The last time you uttered those sentiments back to me with such conviction ... eye to eye ... as I bent down to kiss you good-bye in your recliner ... while I left for an hour to run errands. Little did I know that would be our last good-bye, darlin! I still remember every minute that day ... from leaving in the morning to take Lindsey to her meeting in East Aurora, stopping for coffee and coffee cake for you, Kenny and I. Having all that and the conversations. Running the vacuum ... so you would rest better! Putting on your elastic stockings ... making sure you had all your meds and anything you needed by you before I left at 1:30 --- I only was suppose to be gone for an hour! 1:55 pm --- that dreadful time in my life. Although the rest of that day was somewhat of blurr, I can pretty much remember most of it.
I still ache --- at some point --- every day. Its those special songs --- yours and mine and those others that now have special meaning. Like "The Dance" by Garth Brooks --- so much more special meaning now. And lately now that newer song "I'll wait for you", which includes that final verse that Caroline put on the blanket she made me for Christmas with our pictures on it too ... "Sweetheart I'll wait for you in heaven, tell St Pete I can't go in without my love and my best friend ..." --- and like always I know you are there with a drink in each hand ... waiting to pass one off to me.
We're moving on ... more "firsts" yet to tackle. Next is Caroline's birthday --- then will be mine. Believe it or not, when I think of my life today, I still feel numb like this still is a bad dream. I'm sure it will get better and that you are yelling at me most days! I need your guidance in everything! The whip needs to be cracked!
Well, didn't mean to be a novel. Just needed to comment on my disbelief of the amount of time that has passed. We never went a day without seeing each other nor a day without at least five phone calls!! Its been 8 months! Man, the pain SUCKS!!
I love you, sweetheart and always will. I miss you so damn much!!!
Endlessly -- forever yours,
Sueanne
Chrissy
January 4, 2007
Uncle Jimmy,
Well the holidays are over and im not gunna lie, they werent easy. I was so glad to see what I consider the worst year yet go away. All I can do is hope that this year will be better, because lets face it it cant get any worse right? If you were to tell me that when I saw you at Uncle Ron's going away party that that would be the last time I saw you I would have never belived it. When I picked up the phone that day I never expected what was going to happen next. I think about that day every day...its there everytime I close my eyes. When I look at Sueanne I see you. And all I want to do is cry and hug her. I'll never forget the first day I saw you guys together, and I know ive told you this before but I dont think you'll mind hearing it again, I didnt know that you werent with Carla anymore and I went out with friends to a bowling alley, and I saw you and Sueanne together. I looked at my friends and said "thats my uncle but thats not his wife"....shortly after that Uncle Ken clued me in and ever since then Sueanne has been a big part of my life. She is a part of our family, just like you are. You have no idea how proud I am to call you my uncle. I love you.
~Chrissy~
January 2, 2007
Wow ... made it. Not easily, sweetheart, but I'm here.
I think this New Year's Eve/Day was by far the most difficult. I am still ... two days later ... still so weepy and needing you more than ever. We never went a day without seeing each other ... or many hours without talking to each other. Now its more than 7 months since I lost you and have had no physical conversation with you. My heart talks, hears and holds you all the time, but the physical holding --- is forever gone. To always look back on the year we closed and welcome in all the new year had to offer us was something we did together. Reminiscing and planning. For us --- it would have been putting to bed an exhausting year with surgeries, work issues and finally selling my house! It would have been planning for the so long awaited, talked about and wished for day when we would officially be man and wife --- in the eyes of God. However, although that day never came, we were closer than any ceremony could have ever made us. I feel that Amy said it so perfectly in a beautifully written note she gave me on New Years Eve, that you and I were a beautiful role model of what a loving relationship should be. The only thing better for me that would have happened that blessed day --- would have been for you to give me something you always wanted me to have --- the one thing I would have been more than proud to own --- was your name.
As I said before, I did finally take the ring you wanted to have changed into an engagement ring ... your mom's and Aunt's diamond ... and incorporated into something special. Well, as you instructed me to do that day at the cemetary, you and I took the heart birthstone ring you gave me years ago as a symbol of our love and your ring and had them made into the most perfect engagement ring ever. One of a kind ... now representing our love and committment along with parts of your family and you that will forever be with me. I have to say that it couldn't have been a more perfect idea and can easily see this is exactly what you and I would have planned for ... in the days following your recovery. Thank you, my darling! It is PERFECT!!!
As we now all enter 2007, we do so on different paths. Although I obviously have one, its a road I take without you. I do it with all you've taught me and the strength you gave me. The life you gave me, my heart and allowed me to have has to be the strength to get me through "one day at a time". I try and I have support.
Darlin, I ask you with everything I can find inside me to PLEASE help me through each day ... these next few months now having to officially deal with your house and all the memories inside it as I reluctantly need to part with that. Help me decide the "keeps" and "not to keeps" as you KNOW I want to keep it all!
I have said it before, but it clearly describes how I feel --- you were my life ... my support ... and I took every step with you by my side. Now, my steps are empty and I have only memories to guide me through each one. Stick with me, sweetheart. I need you more than ever. Misting eyes ... need to get to work here ... cleaning up your house!
I love you, darling. Most say "Happy New Year" at this time of the year. Mine, isn't --- so its the first one in many that I can't wish.
Sleep well, my darling. Lay next to me each night and comfort me in the many decisions I'm to make these next several months.
Love you BUNCHES and BUNCHES!
Sueanne
December 28, 2006
Well ... we made it through nearly the most difficult time ... our First Christmas without you. The days before were a whole lot more difficult than I expected. Christmas morning ... waking knowing what we needed to face, I will say, as you know, I just laid there with my head on the pillow and cried. Knowing ... I would not see you today and you would not be with us ... and we would not see those very grateful eyes as he opened each gift, numbers as small as they were, because of your humble attitude. As the day went on and busy schedule ensued, it seemed okay. You must have been with us ... as there was a calming with us and even some smiles as we opened our gifts. The picture/collage that Lindsey made for me ... in your honor and the beautiful blanket Caroline made with my favorite pictures of us, again, a great tribute to our love as well as the kids way of remembering a man that played such an important part in their life ... touched and broke their heart ... one they also miss nearly as much as their mom. This also was a clear sign that they too, will never forget and will always hold a special place in their heart ... for our very own angel.
I also was given a beautiful tribute from the Bagley/Babcock gang ... a framed grouping of pictures taken on our cruise with them ... a great vacation!! Happy times ...
I am not looking forward to New Years eve. I don't think I ever was without you since we met ... for New Years. You were either off or took it off. I'm crying now just thinking about it --- entering 2007 again walking empty steps. You were my every step darlin! I still feel like I'm frozen in time ... horrible dream ... that you are going to pop up around the corner ... "SURPRISE! FOOLED YA!!" But that never happens. Still can't believe you're gone and I'll never have that "one more hug" I just miss you so damn much. Everyone tells me, in time it will get better. It is ... and it will ... but there are so many times during a song, seeing a picture, see one of your favorite foods or even driving through Hortons ... it hits hard, I loose it for a few minutes, and then I carry on.
Oh well ... enough for now. You know my heart and all I'm feeling without even typing ... but typing here helps me ... and in some small way I feel you do read these! Help me in the next few days to get through pretty much .. the NEXT most difficult day ... New Years Eve and day. I know I will get through it ... but it will be extremely difficult, regardless of who I'm with or where I am. Because ... my heart ... is still with you. You gave it life ... and you took it with you on May 13, 2006 at 1:55 pm.
I love you, my darling. Have a nice time with your parents and be with us ... somehow. Please ... make yourself known to me Sunday/Monday. I need it more than you know!
Happy New Year, sweetheart!
Endlessly ... yours,
Sueanne
December 19, 2006
Okay already --- here we go again!NOT doing well today. Its our gift exchange at work and am riding an emotional roller coaster ... not fun. The roses I put in the wreath last week or so were consumed rather quickly by the deer ... kinda expected that, but still you deserve them! Especially on special days --- I'll never stop! Thank you for over 6 years of love, support, encouragement and for being my best friend. Sweetie, I again beg you for your help … every step I ever took was with you and now my steps are empty. I post notes to you, but I know you realize that before they're even done! I let you know all these things because of how much you gave me … and loved me … is why I hurt so bad. Can’t have it all, but I told you I wanted it all! I know you were scared that morning of your surgery over 7 months ago … so was I but not for the same reasons … I was scared because I knew you were … and knew you were going to hurt during recovery. I NEVER was scared thinking I’d loose you BECAUSE YOU PROMISED ME YOU'D NEVER LEAVE ME. Some promises are hard to keep and I understood if you had control … you would have never left me. I also want to thank you for making me your fiancé … treasuring every moment that morning, May 3 ... at 5:25 a.m. and can still hear your words as you fumbled for the ring and to try and say the right words … amongst your fears for what was coming and I can still hear my comments and your actual words … remembering my tears of joy … through my love for you -- feeling your love, yet somewhat clouded by our fear of the unknown. Yet never a doubt he’d return to me. Someone had a different plan.
Well .. misting eyes … gotta get back to work. I am a mess. The song “when I get where I’m going” is now on the radio … one of the songs the girls have on the CD ….. God what a mess! I MISS YOU SO BAD!!
Love you endlessly,
Sueanne
Sueanne
December 18, 2006
Another first, sweetie ...
Amy's birthday! And of course, I did it for both of us. They loved what we did with the ring! GREAT IDEA, BABE!!
Everyone still misses you so damn bad --- I'm not the only one! Its great to be around those that knew you and loved you in their own way and can recognize my pain. She loved what we got her and was pleased I "accepted the role of Godfather" for you! I'm proud to be able to fill those shoes, although pretty big ones to fill! I'll do my best --- and where ever I go, you are there with all of us. We will be getting together with the Daniels for Christmas, like always --- and like we need to do, we'll do a little change in tradition. They are going to come to my house! Change now, is good. Some things are better --- changed since they will never be the same anymore anyway. I did leave a space after my name for you to sign the card --- like I always did. Normally you signed it --- this time you were there in spirit.
Digging Christmas things out at your house has been extremely tough. As the holiday gets closer, the emotions are very much close to the surface. I'm trying, darlin! As I type now, the eyes are filling up. Brought a few things over for now and will handle the rest after the holiday.
Amy looks wonderful. She's doing great in her job and her and Pete look so cute together! She too, I can tell, misses you so bad! I did tell her how proud you are of her ... always were. But she knew that already.
Okay ... enough about that. Am off to do some things then off to bed. Just wanted to let you know, as I know you saw the mess I was today, that today was not a good day for me and I bet it will get worse the closer the holidays come. I will continue to work on things ... I promise!
I love and miss you so damn much, sweetheart!
with a broken heart and tear filled eyes,
Forever,
Sueanne
December 10, 2006
jim! just wanted to say hello and i hope ur having a blast up there and im sure u are.. as u probably already know i gave you eulagy in my public speaking class again and i want u to know i really mean every single thing i said... there couldnt have been a better man in our life as you.. my only wish is that we could have had more time... and you should know that in the wedding i would have been the maid of honor because u and mom love me the most ;-) anyways, I just want you to know that you honestly were the best and you couldnt have done anything different.. we all miss you so very much... Christmas is coming up...this is going to be a happy yet tough time, christmas is always my favorite time of year, everyone is always in such a good mood, spirits are high.... however, its going to be tough.. i can still see you face every single time u opened up a present on christmas.. u had the face with ur head down and ur eyes rolled high as said "u little snot!" because my mom, lindsey, chris, tim or i gave u exactly what u deserved... anyways ill stop babling.. i just wanted u to know christmas wont be the same this year because an important part of our family will be missing .. however we know u will be there spiritually... we love you and miss you oh so much!
love,
caroline :-)
Lindsey Miller
December 9, 2006
Yesterday was the junior ring ceremony at my school. I kept wishing Jim could be there and I know without a doubt he would've been attending. I know he was there watching over me, though, which game me comfort, and I hope we all get the same feeling on Christmas. I miss you, Jim!
December 7, 2006
Well ... here we are with another first!
Another special day forever engraved in my heart. This one will be tough ... you (and me too!) always remembered the date. I have put a beautiful wreath for you and took one to your parents yesterday. You always sent centerpieces ... especially to me ... now its my turn to give you a fresh Christmas centerpiece! I will be adding a few roses to yours --- during my visit today.
Shopping has been very difficult, knowing you were my "whip cracker" and my wrapper! Still using you (the house) to store everything and to wrap. Trying to remember even your traditions you had so I can keep them up ... for both of us --- from the presents you bought right down to the centerpieces! I'll take care of it, sweetie --- don't worry!
My insides today are so torn up --- missing your smile and all that went with it so damn bad! Regardless of the pain, like the song "The Dance" --- I would not trade one minute of this pain not to have had the beautiful years with you. All this hurt by far was worth every minute I had with you, sweetheart.
I love you and still miss you every day. As I look at and hold your picture ... remembering ... its now all I can hold of you --- until I'm with you again, my darling!
Still and always will have my heart. You gave it life! Its only right that you also tore it to shreads.
Lovingly,
Sueanne
November 23, 2006
Sweetie,
As we all know, "firsts" are going to be hard ... real hard. Your birthday, fourth of July, Chris's birthday ... Thanksgiving (not to mention the party night before!), Tim's birthday, shopping for Christmas ... not having your whip to keep me on task NOR your wrapping skills. First Christmas ... First New Years Eve/Day ... Caroline's birthday, Easter, Lindsey's birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day ... maybe some I forgot. Yesterday was very difficult knowing what was coming today. Those beautiful centerpieces you always managed to have on our table for the holiday meal.
In your own way, darlin' --- please be with us somehow today as we each struggle through it. We decided to just be the five of us ... and of course Austin and Shawna. I needed that --- I think we all needed to just be together to remember and to give thanks for the beautiful blessing of having you in our lives. Each one in their own way. You taught all of us so much ... each of the kids carries some of your life's lessons (chosen or unchosen!)in their heart as well as many fun memories. I, most definitely, although short --- was blessed by having an angel in my life ... who now protects us all! I miss you sweetheart and I beg you to please continue to show me you're with us by your beautiful signs. Be with us today ... and at the Thanksgiving table ... as we give thanks for ALL our many blessings in our life ... one most importantly, the blessing of you.
I love you, Sweetheart, and my heart continues to beat right out of my chest at times as I think of you and you not being here with me anymore! It still hurts so DAMN BAD!
Lord ... Bless our day and each of us as we struggle through these heartaches ... one beat at a time. Bless our food that it will continue to make us stronger and keep us together as we remember Jim and all he gave to our lives. And lastly, bless each of us as we recognize that all this was part of your plan and that even though you took him from our lives so quickly, you blessed us with his life as its because of Jim we are stronger and wiser ... and we all know truly, what LOVE is. Amen.
Happy Thanksgiving, my darling. Your first with your parents and Chelsea and Chateau ... in a very long time! We love and miss you ENDLESSLY!!
Sueanne
caroline miller
November 22, 2006
Jim,
I cant believe its been over 6 months now since that tragic day you left us. Sometimes I look at pictures or think about holidays and vacations and other fun times our family had and its just so wierd that your gone, sometimes it STILL doesnt seem real. The 6 years you blessed my mom and our lives were way too short but it is a blessing that you were a part of our lives. I do wish we had more time more vacations more holidays togather. The holdays coming up are going to be real hard for us and especially mom. Please be with us and help make these hildays special too. its going to be hard jim.
we miss you tons!
love, caroline
Sueanne
November 13, 2006
To all who read this and thus knew this wonderful man, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my broken heart for all your support during these past six months. It's still so hard to believe this man, that touched so many lives both in his personal life as well as his hobby of firefighting and his career as a fire and ems dispatcher, has been torn from our lives. "Everything happens for a reason," it's how I (and Jim) live my life. The reason he was taken? I still have NO CLUE. But for sure there was a reason he blessed me and so many countless others by being such an important part of our lives, for sure. He was the jokester --- NO KDDING -- that sometimes pissed some off, but for the biggest part, we all knew his sense of humor and we all were victims of it at one point or another (some of US more than others, huh Chrissy???). There is no doubt God blessed him in my life because I truly became a whole different person not only full of confidence, security and the ability to "do anything I set my mind to" but showed me what my heart truly was meant to do --- to love. Even though God knew that someday (sooner than I had hoped) that heart would be torn to shreds, it was so filled with love and life, that experience, like "the Dance" had to be felt and need to burst with love! By blessing me with Jim's love, he also put so many beautiful people into my life that I would never have known --- both in family and in friends.
It surely has been a journey these past six years. One filled with peaks and valleys. The pain of his loss sometimes causes me to feel like my heart is literally breaking from my chest ... forcing me to hold my chest to balance the pain. I would not change one minute of this journey, except for the ugly ending 6 months ago today. There's not a day goes by that I don't still loose it --- either from a song I hear, looking at one of the pictures on my desk ... or just out of no where with no explanation.
I want you all to know that part of closure is having his marker placed in the ground. The company that made the marker messed it up and it had to go back to be re-done, thus now will be too late to place it. It will be in first thing in the spring. I am sure you will all be pleased with the selection I've made, as it will be a true tribute to this wonderful, devoted servant -- to his community, his family and his friends. I also invite you all to view the beautiful tribute that Lindsey and Caroline made for me and Ken which is a dvd of the Jim Luvender we knew. Its available on a myspace website, mine or any of the kids. Email any one of us if you're not able to find it and we can send you the link.
I miss him every day ... I cry every day. He was my strength. But as some of told me, the best tribute I could make towards Jim was to continue to be the strong person he allowed me and groomed me to be. I'm working on it; it's just so hard. Many decisions needing to be made, some he helps me with ... others I have to make on my own. Again, thank you to all who have helped me and my family through the hardest point in my life and I ask for your continued support, both physcial and prayer.
I miss you so much my darling!!! I love you so much!
Always ... and yes, forever,
Sueanne
Christine Babcock
November 11, 2006
Well here we are 6 months later. I look at pictures of Jimmy and it doesnt seem real. I am so proud of Sueanne, she is the strongest person Ive ever met. There is not a day that passes that I dont think of Jimmy. Whether I drive past his house and have flashbacks of that day or I go past the cemetary and think to myself, "dont be sad hes happy." Or if I talk to Sueanne or my Uncle Ken and secretly wonder what they are thinking, how are they feeling...if something happens that reminds me of him, or something happens that I think he was a part of, like falling in the mud twice while camping. We were all joking that it was Jimmy, that he gave me a little kick in the butt so i would fall and be able to make everyone laugh.(because they defintly laughed, and it is something he would do) Everyday he is with us...whether we see it, hear it, or just feel it. No one will ever forget the man that made our lives so complete.
~With love forever and always, Chris
Corrina Price
October 31, 2006
I had not learned of Jim passing away until tonight. I wanted to extend my most sincere condolences to Sueanne and his family and friends. He is, was, and always will be an amazing man.
One of our happiest times. What a guy!
October 27, 2006
September 29, 2006
Sweetheart,
Hard to believe we're approaching five months since I lost you. October 3rd will be our 5 month anniversary of becoming engaged! One of the happiest, closest times I've felt to each other. Yes, it was the morning of your surgery and we both were a little scared, yet we knew we needed to move forward. Who knew? In my heart I believe we had no choice. No guarantees in life. I still had you in my life for 6 years prior and did more in those years than some do in a lifetime. I have NO REGRET with regards to each of us knowing how we felt about each other and where our life together was going. I know you left me that afternoon with my love in your healing heart --- taking my broken heart with you. Taking vacations with the kids, taking special vacations just the two of us, vacations with your family, visiting family out of town, yours and mine. I have no "if only we ____ " holding over me. We talked about it ... and we followed through. The kids have great memories of our vacations as do I. My only regret is that we didn't have more time --- and if that's the only regret, then I feel truly blessed! I truly was blessed having an angel in my life to love me, protect me, teach me, support me ... and now that loving angel is still protecting all of us, just not able to hold us anymore.
I still feel drawn to visit you nearly every day ... don't be mad! I always came at lunch time to visit anyway, so this is just part of my routine. Your marker should be in soon, one step closer to having things completed for you. My name is on it too, as I can see no reason for me to ever be anywhere else but by your side.
I love you ... and miss you so much. Please continue to stay close and those cute little hints that you are --- are so welcome!
Misting eyes ... missing "broken" heart ... sleep well, my darling.
Sueanne
Christine Babcock
July 26, 2006
I cant belive that it has been almost 3 months since everyones world was turned upside down. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with, to look at Sueanne and my Uncle Ken and know there is nothing I can do to ease their pain.
I cant remember a time when Jimmy wasnt around, from family picnics, to parties, or just hanging out in the backyard.
I am so thankful to Jimmy for the love and friendship he showed Sueanne, Kenny, and the rest of our familes and for bringing Sueanne into our lives.
Even though I will never forget that day as time goes by it will get a little bit easier. Time stopped that day, the 5 mins it took 911 to get to the house seemed like hours.
Everyone is grieving for Jimmy, all in their own way...I know how hard it is for my Uncle Ken to worry about Sueanne, her kids, and our family, all while hes trying himself to deal with the loss of his BEST friend.
Sueanne and I were always close. We are even closer now, we now share a bond that is unlike any other. The heartbreaking part about it, is that we had to lose one of the most amazing men in the world.
To you Uncle Jimmy:
I just want to say thank you for all you have done for me and my family. I never thought I would thank anyone for picking on me, but thank you, that is the one thing that makes this situation a little easier, to know that you had a smile on your face when you left us. You made us laugh and we all knew how much you cared about us. Thank you for being such a good friend to Kenny...and for being so good to Sueanne and her kids. I know your up there making sure we are all ok. Please take extra special care of Kenny and Sueanne, they need you more than anyone. I love you.
~Chrissy~
Peggy Golias
July 6, 2006
Jim, I wish I could go back in time and spend more time with you and Sueanne. Your time togeather was so short, but so wonderful. I know you would be so proud of Sueanne, and the kids. You must know how much, and deeply you were Loved . We all will miss you so very much, but you will always live on in our Hearts. And as time go's on the pain will subside, but you will never be forgotton. I know you will alway be here in sprit. May the Lord hold you tight in his arms forever.
Love Peggy
July 2, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART!!
Hard to believe it was here again, only this time the celebration wasn't as festive. Roses and a few balloons was, for now, the best I could do to help us celebrate what would have been your 53rd birthday. "Firsts" are always hard. Seconds, thirds, etc will be hard, too --- but never as bad as the "first". For the record --- you're as old as Kenny now!! (just had to get that in!) Won't be the same 9 days of July it normally is with him busting you daily and I know its hard for him. We are staying close ... we both need it ... its our way of keeping you with us! That will never go away.
Even with family gatherings like today's baptism, I still feel so alone. I still walk in a fog every day trying to keep life going on, at least for the kids. I know I have no other choice, but its truly, the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life! Why do you suppose God needs me to walk this path? I've walked many difficult ones in my 51 years. Not as difficult as others have I'm sure, but nevertheless, my roads have not been smooth. I am trying to be strong, but its, like I said, the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, sweetie.
Sleep well, my darling. Keep me, Kenny and the kids under your protective watchful eye. There is much going on in our lives right now and we need you so bad! I miss you --- so much more every day. As I type, my eyes fill and my chest literally hurts.
I love you, babe -- BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!! Happy 53rd birthday to my one and only true soul mate!
Lovingly,
Sueanne
Sueanne
June 28, 2006
Mornin, darlin!
Well, countdown is here and the big move is within days. The stress of that, leaving our home of 21 years, missing you still so bad and with Sunday being your 53rd birthday,the emotions are truly flowing right now, babe! I need you cracking that whip, directing all of us and taking charge! The excitement of the new move is so overshadowed and the "steam is out of the engine" not having you to share all of this with.
Brighton Field days came and went and with little reservation Kenny and I did go ... and at times "parked" ourselves by your table in the beer tent where you tended bar last year. You are so badly missed not only by all of us, but by all your firehall family and the police station as well. We all console each other, remembering all the fun times and the strength and support you always were for everyone. You touched so many lives, sweetheart --- more than you even knew!
Well, just missing you I guess, each day more than the one before. Its still so hard to accept that I will never hear your comforting voice, hold your tender hand or feel your supporting arms. Time heals all ... it will take a lot of that to heal this hole inside me.
I love you bunches and bunches --- and miss you so badly.
FOREVER,
Sueanne
Sueanne Miller
June 18, 2006
Darlin,
It's father's day today ... happy father's day from all your "kids!" Our visit today (with two of your three "four legged kids") was too short, but nevertheless we all had our time together. The beautiful card Tim, Chris and Lindsey left for you today had to make you feel so loved and so missed. Today was so hard without you and I realize every day how much your strength was my rock and support. I'm within two weeks of needing to move to what was to be "our home" and with Caroline's surgery and very slow recovery, I know how much easier all this would be with you by my side. You have always been the source of my strength ... and I'm really trying to do as you would have been having me do. Work with me here!
You are missed by so many as you touched more lives than you even realized you touched. The support has been coming in from all sides.
I miss you beyond comprehension and still after five weeks of you returning to your parents, it still seems like a real bad dream and hard to believe you're not here with me. I love you my darling ... and from ALL your kids (Yogi, Chelsea, Chateau, Shawna, Austin, Tim, Caroline, Christopher and Lindsey) AND from me, Happy Father's day to the BEST DAD to enter our lives. You had it all ... and you gave ALL you had to anyone in need. You are the best, sweetie.
All my love always,
Sueanne
Mildred Balentine
June 16, 2006
Jim I have wonderful memories of you and Sueanne taking me places and doing things to make my visit a memorable one. I shall treasure the time we saw the yellow moon and all the things you all did to show me a good time. Thank you for letting me come into your life for a brief moment. Look down from Heaven and take care of Sueanne, for she loves you so much.
Sueanne
June 11, 2006
Sweetheart,
I'm sure these guestbook entries are meant to help the family get through our pain of our loss, and every day I read these beautiful words that those who loved you or wish they knew you better type and it does help knowing others knew the real you. Not sure if its "appropriate" for me to make an entry ... but in some small way, its a way I can also talk to you.
Today for some reason I am again missing you beyond understanding. This pain inside is greater than anything I could have ever imagined. I love the kids and the people at work and my family and friends have been so good and patient, but soon they will not want to be around me as I just am having a real hard time here, sweetie. Looking at old photos and remembering all we've done from one great experience to the next was how I spent part of today. Each day during our special times together I bring you flowers and share with you the daily events (and trust you are enjoying the flowers I bring!). I know you see and hear my pain, whether verbal or not. I am told by those around me that the best legacy you could leave or that I could allow would be for me to continue living the life you taught me, be stong and love each minute we are blessed with. I am trying --- and like you said, we are put on this earth for a given period of time and when its up, its up. God knew we'd only have a short time together, so he made sure it was the absolute best two people could ever share. YOU WERE THE BEST, BABE! You gave my heart life and a love that most never feel. That loving heart now is only a muscle inside my chest, because the life of that heart stopped 5/13/06 at approximately 1:55pm. You had my heart for so many years and you still have it ... it hasn't belonged to me for a long time and it will never have that life and love again.
I want you to know that although our time together was not nearly long enough, I love you for all you've taught me about myself, for allowing me to be ... me, for loving who I was and always wanting to make me happy, make me feel good about myself, no matter what and that nothing was impossible. I promise to do my best to continue being that person you loved so much. What I can't promise is giving any sort of time frame for how long it will take for this pain to ease or for this emotional roller coaster to level off. I just need you back ... I miss you so damn much!! You need to always find ways to help me through these times ... and for the many times, days, weeks, months, years ahead as well. You were always the strong one and my rock. PLEASE don't ever leave me!! I need you always by my side. I love you always, James Edward Luvender! But you knew that ... always did, and I too --- never doubted your love for me, regardless of any bumps in the road. Regardless of the few detours along the way, nothing could stop the path we were on ... we had been through too much and we knew many years ago, we were destined to be together always. Your proposal that morning proved that even more. We will always be one ... you are forever with me, and someday --- we will be together again. Until then, the memories we made and the love we shared is what I will hold forever ours and will be my physical comfort. Good nite, my darling!
Caroline Miller
June 8, 2006
Jim,
you were the best thing that ever came into my moms life. You have also touched our lives in so many ways. You were always a giver, giving us more than we deserved. Thanks for all the good times,memories, and everything, we will miss you! thanks for bein the best possible step-dad
Cyn
June 6, 2006
Well, its been 3 weeks tomorrow that we said "adios" my friend. Although we all must start to move on, for the lives you so unselfishly touched, there will always be a void. Sue will get stronger with each day but her ties to you will be forever...we will watch over her and help her along the way - 'cause that's what families do"!
Lindsey Miller
June 1, 2006
Jim was the best step dad I could've asked for. He was so wonderful to my mom; he was always there for her and gave her everything she ever needed in life. I miss him so much and always will. Mom - me, Caroline, Chris, and Tim, will ALWAYS be here for you. We love you so much and will do anything!!! I love you! And Jim - hope you're having the best time possible up there! We all miss you so much!!!
Tonia Rossiter-Zurek
May 26, 2006
Uncle Jim will be SADLY MISSED! He was the prankster, the life of ALL parties (Thanks for introducing me to stawberry daquiries Uncle Jim! ha ha), but most of all, he was "Family" to many of us. Whether you were actually related or not,didn't mean a thing to him. He was there for anyone--everyone! He was the FIRST PERSON I came to when sharing good news-because I knew he would genuinly care. Altho he wasn't our father biologically...to myself, Tim, Caroline, Christopher, and Lindsey, he was the closest he could get to it! Every time something silly happens to me, I'll think of Uncle Jim--and wonder if he's still playing his practical jokes on me from Heaven! I will also think of Uncle Jim everytime I hear the song "When I Get Where I'm Goin'". I think its a beautiful song that explains the state Uncle Jim is in now. He got where he was goin--altho it was too soon for his loved ones that he left behind. I LOVED THAT MAN more than he ever knew! He brought so much JOY, HAPPINESS, and LOVE into my Aunt Sue's life! He showed her what Love is "supposed" to be like. He made her "shine", and for that among everything else, I will be eternally grateful! To Aunt Sue, "Uncle Kenny" and the kids: I am here for you all, as I know you have been there for me. With eachother, and Uncle Jim's love still in our hearts, we will get through this...in time. I Love You All! To all the firemen and police officers that came for Uncle Jim's "send off"--thank you for everything! You were all wonderful! I know your presence was appreciated!
Mary Dahl & Family
May 22, 2006
Having grown up next door to Kenny, I experenced a lifetime of smiles, waves, and friendly, upbeat chats with Jimmy. We will remember him fondly. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time.
Jake Luvender
May 20, 2006
Jimmy was my great uncle, although more like a cousin to my brothers (Bob and Tom) and me (Jake). We have been out of touch for many years, as I knew him as a kid, but missed the opportunity to know him as a man. My thoughts and prayers, as those of my family will be with Sueanne and family during this difficult time. The Family of John (Jake) E. Luvender III
Afternoon PSD's Amherst PD
May 17, 2006
Luvender Family: Our deepest sympathy to the family of Jim
Stacy Kopp (Caruana)
May 17, 2006
Luvender Family -
We are so sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
Mark & Stacy Kopp
Catherine Ann Lambe (Fries)
May 16, 2006
Our sincere sympathy to the family and fiancee of Jim Luvender.
Cat (Fries) Lambe and family
Titusville, FL 32780
(former Tonawanda resident)
Kimberly Smith
May 16, 2006
I met Jim through his cousin, Mary Kay Dineen; his love for fun with friends and family was a pleasure to observe!
My thoughts are with each of you: Sueanne, Kenny, Mary Kay, and the Luvender family; & I pray that memories of Jim will comfort you in the days ahead.
Mary Marasco (Petrillo)
May 16, 2006
To The Luvender Family,
My deepest sympathy to the family of Jim. I'll always remember the great times we had at the Brighton Fire Company.
Robert Callan
May 16, 2006
Jim was a true caretaker of his community and his country. The Callan family shares the loss of the Luvender family.
Lance & Anna Scarafia
May 16, 2006
Sueanne and Kenny, Jim was and always will be our friend. His love and dedication to you guys and to his friends will never be replaced. He will be missed and remembered for the rest of our days.
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