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John McKernan Obituary
John Martin "Mickey" McKernan, IV, 23, a six year resident of Annapolis and previously of Millersville, died on January 8, 2015. He was born in Baltimore on March 3, 1991 and was a 2009 graduate of Old Mill High School. He was an outstanding football player who was named to the all-county team on offense in 2008. He was a huge fan of the Baltimore Ravens and Orioles. He is survived by his mother, Jennifer Smoker (and her husband Sam) of Gap, PA; his father, John McKernan (and his wife Vicky) of Pasadena; his sister, Colleen McKernan; grandparents Barbara Jackson and Terry Jackson of Annapolis; his aunt Trisha, uncle Mike and their children Shannon and Erin Rae; his uncle Chuck, aunt Kathy and their children Chas and Tori; his aunt Donna and her children Kate, Donna and Gina; his step sister Laura and step brother Jason; and John, Bernadette and the Synnamon family. A memorial gathering will be held on Sunday, January 11 from 4-5 PM, followed by a memorial service at 5, at Hardesty Funeral Home, 12 Ridgely Avenue, Annapolis. In lieu of flowers, memorials in John's name may be made to Hope House Addiction Treatment Center, 26 Marbury Drive, Crownsville, MD 21032.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for John McKernan
Jennifer Smoker
May 9, 2016
Dear Mick,
You have been helping me, I suppose. I am finding ways to distract myself.
This emptiness is underneath it all though. May as well get used to it, huh
Flurry
May 8, 2016
Fly with Angles John
Jennifer Smoker
May 6, 2016
Dear son,
One year and four months after you were ripped from my world. God, Mickey - it seems so much longer than that. The days drag so without you in them. I have no enjoyment in life anymore without you, honey.
I am so mad at God. Will this resentment ever end?
Jennifer Smoker
February 10, 2016
Dear Mick,
Well, I can only hope that you understand why I can't finish your book.
I love you so much it hurts. I will see you when it is my time to cross the River Jordan and I know you will be there to meet me.
I am going to finish my work here on this earth and God will take me when He is ready for me.
See you then, my baby boy.
Love
Momma ♥
♥
Jennifer Smoker
February 3, 2016
My sweet Angel, I will never get over you being pulled away from us so early in your lifetime. I am writing this message to you and I can barely see through my tears.
I am being selfish, however, because I know that in leaving this world, your suffering was ended and you are finally at peace. Your sister helped me to see that.
Mick, I know that you are with me.you have made your presence known on so many occasions. I haven't felt you in the past few days,and that's on me.I know that I haven't been receptive to you.I have been crazy busy but that is no excuse.When I felt you and the other angels hold me,it was the most life-changing experience of my life.
I need to calm my mind and be receptive to the messages that I am loved and how I need to live my life. I thank you for those messages, sweetheart.
Momma will love you forever.♥
Jennifer Smoker
November 25, 2015
Hey, Mini-Me.
Well, it is a year to the day tomorrow since Colleen and I last saw you alive. I think that is the largest milestone that I shall ever face in my lifetime.
I have a message, written by none other than Dr. Seuss, hanging on my bulletin board:
"Don't cry because it's over,
Smile because it happened."
Dear Little Mickey, that is indeed the way I feel about your short time here on earth. Instead of crying because you left us so soon ... I need to smile because the Lord in Heaven chose our family, your father, your sister and myself ... (and all the others whom you touched in your life), to grace with your spirit. I am so grateful that you were a member of our family, that you chose ME as your mother, the one to birth you, to hold you as a baby and to hold and rock and sing to you ("My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music" was your favorite lullaby when you were just an infant), and indeed, we enjoyed much of the same music when you were grown.
I wish I knew what message you wanted to convey to me when you called me those four times at 2:30 a.m. the morning of your death. Did you want your mother to help you, to comfort you, to tell me you wouldn't be coming to live with me, or to just be with you as you were transitioning from this world to the next? Four times you called me. It is a question that I will never have answered. But I will wonder about it for the rest of my life.
Tomorrow our family - your daddy, Miss Vicky, Jason and his son, your sister and her friend, Jen, and me and Sam will all be together in our home. I know your presence will be felt many times in many ways.
I can't wait for everyone to come over tomorrow. It is going to be so comforting and fun as well.
Dear son, I love and miss you so much. Dear God, how I wish I could touch your beautiful hair one more time. But I cant. I can remember, though.
I love you, honey. Be well.
Momma.
Coll Mckernan
November 4, 2015
Hey mick, it's your sister.
I've delayed writing in this for so long and I'm not sure why. But I know I couldn't live without putting in my love as well. The more I think about what to say I freeze so I will just go with it. 2015 has been the most crazy year of my life, and January 8th it all started. My eyes opened. My soul woke up and went back to sleep multiple times over. From the fleeting beautiful moments where all I can do is look and feel in awe to the times I can't imagine moving forward. But one thing has remained so inevitably constant and that is that you are still in every single part of every day and you are still showing up for me and our family. The experience I had with you here and the roles we played in each other's life I have learned a lot. And with this and afterwards you still teach and show me every day. Your passing has it seems given me a new pair of glasses, and my heart a new shield. The things I feel overwhelmingly good and overwhelmingly bad have made it hard to fall in the background, and has shown me how to be transparent and to become vulnerable without my permission, and that's okay. Life has taken on a completely different meaning for me, and all since your passing, I feel as though a part of my heart went with you but my soul grew. And what's left of my heart has opened. Everyday I think of your beautiful eyes and your chuckle and your beautiful hair and teeth and I try to do my best to carry out what you put into this world. Sometimes I fail, and if I'm aware enough to learn, or I fail until I do learn. Some days I want to break, just sit in how I feel, and in my life there have been times where I haven't stood for much. But one thing I promise you is I will always stand for your message. I will always stand for our family, and I will always stand for love.
I love you my dearest angel.
Jennifer Smoker
October 29, 2015
Hi honey. I just got out of the hospital. I had pneumonia and some other issues! Guess what! Your daddy got his liver. He is supposed to go home sometime this week. We are all so happy for him. I can't help thinking that you had something to do with both me and your daddy getting well, John.
I miss you every day and Thanksgiving is coming up, the last day we saw each other with you alive. That is going to be a very hard day for me. I don't know how I'm going to make it through, but I'm strong, I'm learning, Mick! I will get through it. I love you so much and miss you so much it hurts so badly. I wish you could just spend one more day with me but I know it was impossible.
I know you are our angel. Good work, my son.
Love,
Momma
Jennifer Smoker
July 2, 2015
Hey Honey How are you? I was sick but I'm better now. We all think of you daily and will never forget your sweet ways and your funny ways, too ( "Leave a Message") I loved it.
circle of friends
Jennifer Smoker
June 15, 2015
Dear Mini-Me,
I am thinking about you, just as I do every day!
Tomorrow we travel to Annapolis to celebrate your sister, Colleen's, FIRST ANNIVERSARY! I know that you will be with us in spirit and that you are as proud of her as we are. Daddy and I thank you for the opportunity to send Colleen to vacation on Disney World. She is going to going to love it, as you know.
I am proud of you every day and look for the day when once again, we meet.
Geez, I love you, Little Mickey. Always my baby boy.
Today as every day,
Your momma.
Jennifer Smoker
June 5, 2015
Dear Mick, Colleen and I talked for an hour last night, and she made me realize God took you because you were truly special. You were finished with your work here on earth. I got some comfort in that, Honey. I still miss you tremendously though.
Jennifer Smoker
May 29, 2015
Dear Mini Me
I am absolutely comforted by Sara's message. You were like that for that for me. When when I needed comfort about about a certain matter that some (most) didn't believe, you had this way of calling me on the phone and telling me that no matter any any one said, you believed in me.
GUESS WHAT: JANUARY 8, 2016, IS A FRIDAY THIS YEAR! i'M GOING CONTACT SOME OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS AND SEE IF WE CAN GO TO DINNER BEFORE THE MEETING. i PLAN ON HAVING YOUR BOOK READY TO PASS OUT AT THE MEETING.
yES, COLLEEN'S BIRTHDAY IS 6 MONTHS BEFORE, BUT I AM BEGGING YOU TO SHOW UP THERE WITH A MESSAGE FOR HER. i'LL HEVER FORGET YOU, MICK.
I remember this day almost perfectly. Thanks for being you.
Sarah Berndt
May 26, 2015
When someone passes, I know everyone wants to say that this person was different. Well John really was, he was a very special soul who impacted so many lives, including mine. By the grace of God and with the good influence and support from people like John, I have over three years clean today. He has touched so many people it is unbelievable and although we dont understand why he is gone we cherish all the moments and memories we have had with him. Mainly though we praise his ability of touching the lives of other people. He was ALWAYS reaching his hand out, always respectful and accepting of other people for who they were and where they were at, always available to talk to or lean on, and wildly wise beyond his years. Even with his struggles, he was able to look past himself and into what he could do for someone else. He is not forgotten and is truly missed. I absolutely feel his spirit and heart among us and lives on in the hearts and minds of many who strive to be like him. RIP buddy we miss you
Jennifer Smoker
May 16, 2015
You look like you were having so much fun, Mick. We all miss you.
Love,
Momma.
Jennifer Smoker
April 7, 2015
Sweet Mickey, here I sit in group missing you so very much. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, John, and I tried my best to be a good mom to you during your lifetime.
Jennifer Smoker
April 2, 2015
I'm crying for my sweet son. you were so beautiful, on the inside as well as the outside.
Jennifer Smoker
March 22, 2015
Mick, Hi Honey!
I still miss you each and every day. At Philhaven they are teaching me grief management and they say that you wouldn't want me sitting around crying all the time. Hershey helps some but of course she isn't you. I still just remember Thanksgiving and how I got to rub your back and hair. I'll never forget that night, Mick. I love you.
Love,
Momma
March 11, 2015
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Jennifer LP
March 1, 2015
Fly away, John ~
Way up high
Your cares are gone
But still I cry.
My tears flow hard
They smear the ink
My sight they blur
It's hard to think
I know you're safe
With God above
You now exist
As higher love
Why do I still miss you so?
Jennifer smoker
February 27, 2015
Mick, last night when I held your ashes I felt so much calmer. I was able to stop crying and it was as though I was holding you next to me. I could feel your presence and you calmed me. I love you,honey. I look forward to seeing you on the other side.
Momma
Jennifer Smoker
February 26, 2015
When I went down to the river to pray, studyin about that good ol' way
Who will wear the robe and crown,
Good Lord,show me the way
Oh, sinners, let's go down,
Come on down,won't you come on down.
Oh, sinners,let's go down
Down to the river to pray
When I went down to the river to pray
Studying about that good ol' way
Oh Lord,show me the way.
Jennifer Smoker
February 25, 2015
Cody left this message to help us today:
If Colleen ever needs someone to help with anything any one in this home will always be willing to help the door will always be open. I will speak for John at college if you would like my professor and I share the same ideal. That kids will not listen to a man in the suit. But they will listen to a man full of scars
2 mins Unlike 1
..
from facebook - thank you Cody
Jennifer Smoker Please, speak out for John wherever you can! college would be great! Thank you for your help, Cody. I'm gonna publish this post to his book. I'll give you credit when it is published for real as a hardback. It'll be awhile until I get his life story written.
Jennifer Smoker
February 25, 2015
Another candle for my baby boy on this 25th day of November. Today I got out of bed and made a lot of friends on Facebook with some of your friends. I hope to get some more memories for this book from them and from your younger sister, who is doing super!
Your dad, Colleen and momma miss you so much, Mickey. Please stay safe in God's hands.
February 25, 2015
Jeni McKernan
February 9, 2015
Your anniversary has come and gone. Why does it still hurt so much? I miss my son and my days are filled with memories.
Jennifer Smoker
February 5, 2015
Hi, honey!
Well,it's another day missing you just the same way that I do each morning. Your father and me are grieving you together,as I am sure you already know. We spend much of the time talking about you and sharing memories. Please don't forget about the birthday ?? for your sister tonight. I will be looking for you. You will always be a big part of the family. Love, momma ?
Jennifer Smoker
January 28, 2015
I hung your work shirt in my closet today, honey. I will keep it for special times when I need to be especially close to you.
I spoke with Brianna today. What a lovely person she has turned into a day at a time. She was very comforting to me on the phone, and I was grateful to speak to her!
Still missing you! Guess I always will, huh. It is what it is, though, Mick. Please help the suffering addict up there, okay?
Pay special attention to your sister, I want you to watch over her very carefully. Help her in her time of grief, she could use a nudge like you gave me.
She has EIGHT MONTHS CLEAN!!!! I'll see you at her Anniversary Celebration.
Love you much,
Momma
Yolanda, Michelle & Chasity
January 21, 2015
Ms. Jackson & family,
Every time you came in to pick up your dry cleaning, you spoke so highly of your grandson. Take comfort in knowing that now you have a special guardian angel to watch over you. We will continue to pray for you.
January 19, 2015
It is with my sincerest sympathy and regards at this 'impossible' time for you. The best Ray Mosko
Jennifer Smoker
January 19, 2015
Another night, no sleep I'll see
as I lie, silent, in despair.
the plans we made,you,Sam and me
were ripped to shreds - a rug threadbare.
The last words that I heard you say,
"I Love You," over the wire.
"I'll be there Sunday," but instead
my heart burned with you in that fire.
I miss you Mick, I cry each day
and night that I am left behind.
Colleen and I try so very hard
in this cruel mess some good to find.
(Never in my life will I go a day without tears of missing you. You will always be my baby. I thank God that she left Colleen to remain with me.)
(It was THAT DAY that you were, at last, to come to live with me again, and learn to be Mother and Son. I'll never release the agony of the moment I realized just what, and how, it had happened.)
I'll meet you there. Come and get me, okay? I love you, Little Mickey.
Momma
Warren Grace
January 18, 2015
RIP my friend, and sincerest condolences to the family. I'll miss you.
GMA Jackson
January 18, 2015
Precious Child! Every time there is motion at the door....I expect it to be you...but you are gone! Will we ever get over it? not until we see you on the other side. Love, GMA
Jennifer Smoker
January 16, 2015
I will miss you forever. My heart ? hurts so much.
Love. momma
Maryanne Gallagher
January 11, 2015
My Heartfelt Condolences go out to the Mckernan and Synnamon Families on your loss, my prayers are with you all.
ROCK -N- CAROL CLANCY
January 10, 2015
SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS MICK AND FAMILY
Robin Skuby
January 10, 2015
sweet soft soul may you enjoy the peace of Heaven. XoXo
Nikki and chris aklen
January 10, 2015
John we are so sorry to hear that such a bright smiling face is no longer with us...may you finally find peace in gods arms
tony Pearson
January 10, 2015
One of millersville's finest. Rest in peace buddy,you will be missed.
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