Robert S. Abernethy III, MD
June 18, 1940 - October 14, 2022
Westwood, Massachusetts - Robert S. Abernethy III, MD of Medfield, formerly of Dover, MA, died suddenly but peacefully Friday morning October 14, 2022 after a valiant struggle with dementia. Dr. Abernethy was beloved husband for 60 years of Caroline (McClain) Abernethy; father of Robert Abernethy IV of Fort Worth, TX, Frances Abernethy Armstrong (Gregg J. Armstrong) of Medfield, MA, and the late Enloe McClain Abernethy; cherished friend of Joan Abernethy, M.D.; and beloved grandfather of Kate and Owen Armstrong and Robert V and Thomas Abernethy.
Born on June 18, 1940 in Charlotte, NC, to Robert S. Abernethy, Jr. and Belle Ward Stowe Abernethy, he was brother of Margaret Martin of Charlotte and the late Sally Eads of Fincastle, VA.
Rob attended Davidson College and the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. After his internship at Pennsylvania Hospital, he fulfilled military service at the NIMH's Saint Elizabeth's Hospital in Washington, DC before completing his residency training in psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital. Deeply committed to the individualized care of his patients, Dr. Abernethy practiced medicine at MGH with honor, humility, and integrity for over 40 years.
Dr. Abernethy will be remembered for his adventurous, but humble spirit, his abiding optimism, and his keen sense of humor. He found joy in sailing the coast of Maine, caring for an island home, skiing (quite slowly) at Sugarloaf, and visiting with his children, friends, and his beloved grandchildren. He remained kind and good humored to the end, never squandering an opportunity to express his earnest gratitude and appreciation to those who cared for him. His family extends special thanks to Dr. Michael J. Barry of MGH who so lovingly guided Rob through his progressive illness and to the devoted staff at Birch Grove Assisted Living at Fox Hill Village in Westwood.
A celebration of Dr. Abernethy's life will be held on February 4, 2023 at 11:00 at the Dover Church in Dover, MA. Remembrances may be made in his name to the Epiphany School, 154 Centre Street, Dorchester, MA, 02124 or the Davidson Trust, the scholarship fund supporting Davidson College's commitment to needs-blind admission: Davidson College, Box 7170, Davidson, NC, 28035.

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Published by Charlotte Observer on Oct. 30, 2022.

Memories and Condolences
for Robert Abernethy

25 Entries

Susan (Taylor) Arseneault

February 27, 2023

Caroline and family,
So very sorry to learn of Rob's passing. He was a wonderful boss, a strong leader, a great listener and a kind, generous man. Rest in peace, Rob.

Mary K McCarthy

February 9, 2023

Rob Abernethy was just a wonderful human being. He was a gifted clinician, a generous and supportive supervisor to me and many other residents and trainees, and a kind and supportive mentor who helped point me in important career directions. He was a true Southern gentleman with an abundance of warmth. I know he loved his family very much, and I am very grateful to have known him. My deepest condolences to Caroline, Franny, and the rest of the family.

Chris Burr

January 30, 2023

I got was so lucky to spend time with Rob during one of the hardest times of my life. Because I was running a company at the time, I could only meet with him at 7 in the morning, which I assumed might be difficult for him, but he was kind to be there waiting for me in his red chair. His voice was powerfully calming, his questions brilliant, his sense of humor invaluable, and his wisdom remarkable. Rob remains one of the most wonderful people I've met in my life's journey.
Chris Burr

Scott N. Wilson, M.D.

January 27, 2023

I missed Rob's presence at MGH since the day he left. As one of my first supervisors and role models as community psychiatrist, he was so patient, warm, and good-natured about all that he did for trainees and patients. He was an important influence in my professional identity as a psychiatrist and, perhaps more importantly, how to be a good person.
My sympathies to Caroline and all who loved him.

Sharmin Ghaznavi

January 23, 2023

I was fortunate to have Rob as a therapy supervisor during psychiatry residency and will be forever grateful to him for sharing his wisdom about caring for patients and about life in general. Please accept my sincerest condolences on his passing and I do hope you are comforted in knowing that his legacy of caring continues in all of us that were fortunate enough to have him as a teacher and mentor.

Helen Riess

January 10, 2023

Dr. Rob Abernethy was a true giant of grace, compassion and dignity. He cared for patients from all walks of life and illness with a depth of understanding and commitment that is rarely seen today. Rob was an inspiring mentor for all of us who were lucky to serve as his Chief Residents at Mass. General Hospital. He helped us develop as clinicians and human beings by his example of patience, temperance, and compassion. We will all deeply miss him as a mentor and a dear friend.
Sincerely, Helen Riess

Beth Hucker

December 24, 2022

Dearest Mrs. A./Caroline, my heart goes out to you and your family. May all the good, warm, funny and happy memories start filling the void Rob has left behind. Your love for him and his for you lives on. Wishing I were closer to give you hugs of condolence, Beth Hucker

Lewis Wheeler

December 12, 2022

To the Abernethy family -
My condolences to you all - Dr. Abernethy was my mom's psychiatrist from the mid-1970's until his retirement, and she always sang his praises. He was the one who was able to diagnose her bipoloar disorder, which had confounded other doctors.
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2008, and I met Dr. Abernethy many times at appointments when I would accompany my mom (she died in 2017).
My heart goes out to you in this time, as I know the complicated pain, loss, and relief in losing a loved one with dementia.
I will always remember Dr. Abernethy's kind voice and demeanor, and his wonderful care of my mother for over 30 years.
My condolences,
Lewis

Christie Mihopoulos

December 3, 2022

Dear Caroline,
We are deeply saddened to hear of your loss. Robert possessed a rare combination of intelligence and charm that will be truly missed by all of us who were privileged to know him. Your family is in our prayers.
With sympathy,
Everyone at Nicholas Christies

ALISSA CHARLES

November 22, 2022

Caroline,
My sincerest condolences. I am so sorry to hear about Rob's passing. I always loved his southern gentleman charm. Working with him for years made me respect him more. He was kind and gentle with patients and staff and never made anyone feel less than. Your family and the world has lost a really good man.

Mae

November 17, 2022

May the love of friends and family carry you through your grief.

Dorothy G Heggie

Planted Trees

Kimerer LaMothe

November 2, 2022

Dear Caroline, I am so incredibly sorry to hear about Rob´s passing. My heart aches for you and your family.

Rob was a towering presence in so many ways, and such a dear human. I have fond memories of you two together, and the joy and teasing that crackled between you.

I am thinking about you and holding you in my heart. I know this time is challenging. The loss is great. And that´s because the love was too. And still is! For you love for each other lives on. In all of us.

Sending you a big embrace. Wishing you fond memories. And a growing sense of peace.

Love, Kimerer

Nancy Keuthen

November 1, 2022

Rob embodied everything a good psychiatrist should be. He was a pillar of compassion, integrity and intelligence. He touched so many lives-those of his many patients but also those of his colleagues and clinic staff. He set an example that we should all strive to follow. He will be missed but never forgotten.

Charlie Welch

November 1, 2022

Dear Caroline,
I had the incredibly good fortune to have Rob as my supervisor during medical school, and his shining example was the reason I chose psychiatry for my life´s work. He was such a wonderfully wise and compassionate man, but always up for chats about our shared love of sailing. I will always miss him. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
Charlie Welch

Michelle Jacobo

October 31, 2022

Dear Abernethy family
I want to express my condolences and share my heartfelt affection and respect for Rob. He was my first attending psychiatrist when I started training at MGH in 1996. He was known to be kind, thoughtful, and always treated staff and patients with compassion. He was very willing to sit with emotional pain before discussing medicine or next steps.
We worked on a team together for many years, and he was "the" physician who would hold the hardest patients with us. He was a true mentor, had a great sense of humor, and was loved by many.
I hope you take some comfort in how many lives he shaped, including mine
Sincerely
Michelle Jacobo

Anne Fishel

October 31, 2022

Dear Caroline,
Rob was a prince among men. Such a kind, gentle, funny, warm man who brought out the best in us. My spirits were always lifted after spending time with him. And I will always be grateful for his mentoring and championing of my work at MGH when I was young and felt invisible. His memory will be a blessing for so many. Sending condolences,
Anne Fishel

Craig Surman

October 31, 2022

Dear Caroline and family -
I am thinking of you in this time of loss. What a difference Rob made in our lives - as you know my Dad worked with him for years. Rob's gentlemanly care of patients and belief in other people's potential can not be overstated. I am so grateful to Rob and your family for so many things from my early life, but in my professional life I want you to know that he set a standard for humanism in medicine that has helped many of us understand how to help patients heal.
May his memory be a blessing always.
Craig Surman

David Mischoulon

October 31, 2022

Rob was a wonderful teacher and supervisor. He contributed so much to my formation as a psychiatrist during my residency training years. A doctor, scholar, and gentleman. My warmest condolences to Caroline and the family.

Joannmckinnon

October 28, 2022

Dear Caroline,
Jack and I are so very sorry for your loss. We hope faith and prayer will help you at this time. With love, Joan and Jack McKinnon.

Cynthia and Jack

October 27, 2022

I have known Rob since second grade and Jack has known him for over 60 years. We have shared so many wonderful times together in Maine, in Dover, in Concord! What a terrific human being! Caring, thoughtful, kind, fun, and wise to name a few qualities! We send lots of love and comfort! Cynthia and Jack

Anne L'Hommedieu-Sanderson

Planted Trees

Jonathan F. Borus, M.D.

October 26, 2022

Rob and I were colleagues at MGH for 50 years. He was one of the most caring therapists and warmest human beings I have met in my professional career. Both Dixie and I send our deepest condolences to Caroline and the entire Abernathy family.

Jon and Dixie Borus

Lynn Petrasch

October 25, 2022

Caroline: my deep sympathy to you and the family. Much love,
Lynn

Charlie Tracy

October 25, 2022

Caroline- we are thinking of you.

Charlie Tracy Martha Hallett Charlotte Tracy

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