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Matthew Morrison Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Matthew Morrison
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Jayne Morrison
July 11, 2025
Matt,
Oh I miss you . I will write more in a day or two but right now it is just to difficult to put down my words. If there is an after life and if you can feel our love, you know how much you are missed.
Mom
Heather
July 9, 2025
Woke up from a dream about you, Matty.
The summer is always drenched of memories we all had. So grateful.
Always love to you and your family.
Heather
Sarah Woltmann
December 24, 2024
Merry Christmas Matty! I miss our X-mad Eve coffee tradition. Love you for Always!
-Sarah-
Jayne morrison
July 9, 2024
Hey Matt,
Love you so much my sweet, sweet boy.
I planted some flowers and Hugo, who works at the cemetery, raised your stone.
I planted yellow snapdragons, a zinnia, blue violas that take the heat, purple petunias, yellow marigolds. Looks nice. That is about all I can do for you Matt.
We are all well. Sarah and Mathilde, can you believe she is going into7 th grade? Are having a wonderful summer. They traveled to Mexico City. Your sweet brother and Kelly are busy in Manhattan. Doug is great and misses you terribly. We have a dog named Frito - he is super- you would like him. I call him my pound puppy.
Must get busy- have to get some bagels. Love you Matt.
Mom
Jayne
June 10, 2024
Hi Matt,
It´s mom sitting in the kitchen getting ready to make dinner. I sure miss you today. Frito is crying and I will take him outside for a walk as soon as I finish writing you. Very tired today but I took a nap and feel better now. Your sister and niece are in Mexico cit for a few days. Josh and Kelly are busy working in NY. Must get out to the cemetery and see if the raised your stone. Gosh, I am sad today.
Love you/ my special baby boy.
Mom
Jayne
May 4, 2024
Hey Sweet Matt,
Feeling lousy today although it is gorgeous outside. I miss you and wonder what life would be like if you were here.
Mom
Jayne
April 8, 2024
Hey Matt,
Today April 8th there will be a total eclipse if he sun. Near right? I wonder how it will affect you?
Mom
Jayne
April 8, 2024
We love you and really miss your hugs and sweet words.
Mom
Jayne
April 7, 2024
Love you sweety- waiting for Sarah and Mathilde to call. Josh and Kelly are doing great.
Jayne Morrison
April 6, 2024
Dear Matt,
I guess the entry I wrote this morning, April 6th was too long to print. Ancestry is ending this service so I won´t be able to tell you things about your family. You know since your passing life is different for all of us. Time does not heal the suffering- time is like a beautiful tree that no longer has leaves- or a beautiful bird that no longer sings- or a family that no longer has inner strength - just sadness. I think time is like being afraid to talk to each other. We miss you and I wonder what your life would have been. You would have taken time to find your nitch but oh Matt when you found your place in this world you would have been so happy - and so would we. I wish you had had more time!!!
Love you forever and ever. I will get up the strength to plant flowers on your grave. It will be a beautiful spot. Snapdragons for sure!
Mom
Jayne Morrison
April 6, 2024
Hi Matt,
Just a quick hello. Wish we all were together. Sweet dreams always.
Mom
Jayne
April 6, 2024
Dear Matt,
Today is Saturday April 6th. 2924. This will be the last letter I write you as Legacy is discontinuing this wonderful service. I never knew who set this up for me to write to you but I am assuming it was your friends.
Well, what to say? Brian T´s dad died last week. He was 86. I brought some bagels, homemade brownies, etc. over to the house. I see Mr. R. as he drives back from cross guard work. We talk about the Cubs/ still a faithful fan. I sometimes see Mr. St. - he drives a red station wagon. He usually asks about Sarah or how we are all doing. Sometimes he is driving with his wife.
They are putting in pickle ball courts behind the pool at Oakton Park. Have put up the blue umbrellas in the swimming area- getting ready for Spring and Summer. Frito and I make the walk twice a day-about 45 minutes each trip. In the morning if we walk by the kids waiting for the Middleton bus, the kids feed Frito little treats that I keep in my pocket.
Your dad is good- still goes to the gym on the weekend. He loves getting into the sauna after a workout. We are going over to B and R to watch the final four. I will bring brownies, knitting, and hot wheel cars for their grandson.
Sarah and Mathilde are fine. Mathilde will have her bas Mitzvah next Christmas 2026. She goes to Hebrew school on the weekend and in the summer she attends camp for a week or two.
Your sister is busy teaching and is very involved with the Union. Sarah is well respected by her teachers in the district AND her AP students do extremely well. They have two cats that she and Mathilde love. It is good to have animals.
Josh and Kelly as you know are living in Manhattan. Josh works with prisoners in NY who are not getting their prescribed medication. He travels to all the prisons interviewing them. He works for a woman. She hires law students to do background work and Josh often does trial work. Wish you could talk to him- but just know I am so proud of him.
Kelly work at Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital. She is in charge of grants. That is one fantastic girl. She has been wonderful for Josh. I am so proud of her and although she will always remain a mystery to me I can only thank her for what she has done for your brother. He is going in for tests next week but he is good. They have two dogs and are happy. I am lucky !
So, Matt that is about it. I am good. I miss you terribly. I miss not having my family near by. I also know I am lucky to have memories imbedded in my mind of you three kids growing up - playing baseball, swimming, riding bikes up and down the sidewalk, playing with play-dough under the front tree, and me watching all the kids grow up on Lowell Street. Good pictures Matt.
Love you forever- everyday- every moment.
Mom
Jayne morrison
March 28, 2024
Hey Matt,
While walking Frito this morning a car going too fast hit a squirrel and it died in just a few seconds. I stood there holding Frito´s leash and just stared at the little squirrel. Couldn´t walk and Frito was so still. Then the car reappeared and the man driving stopped and said how bad he felt and had always heard a squirrel could never be killed by a car. Then he told me a story about his mother who hated squirrels, etc. etc.
Frito and I walked home.
Mom
Jayne
March 25, 2024
Hi Matt,
Am so sad lately. I wonder often what I could have done better. Sarah just told me how she wished she could have gone to Purim celebrations when growing up. Had no idea? I wonder where I was- did I listen to them? Did I see them ? What the hell was going on with me? I wish Sarah and Josh were here to talk with, LA and NY are so far away.
Mom
Jayne morrison
March 13, 2024
Hi Matt,
Someone in England found your journal- they did not want to throw it away because it was written so beautifully. Will talk to you later. Matt, having a hard time.
Love you,
Mom
M
January 16, 2024
You are never far from our thoughts dear one.
Jayne Morrison
October 30, 2022
Hi sweet boy,
Have been out to see you twice this week. Brought a pumpkin and planted a chrysanthemum. Cemetery looks quite bare as winter is on its way. Saw two coyotes which made me smile-they were looking for food.
All well here. Josh and Kelly are doing well in NY. Josh might visit in November. Sarah and Mathilde are fine too. You would really enjoy your niece. She is in 5th grade, playing the cello this year, and truly loves her cat Chestus.
Dad is well as am I.
So much we miss you - our lives have never been -well you know- since you left us. Ah Matt , I miss you so,
Mom
A
July 9, 2022
I think about you a lot. My life has never been the same without you in it. My brother passed 6 months ago. I hope you find each other up there.
M
February 5, 2022
Matt you were a beautiful gift to all of us. Thank you dear angel.
July 12, 2021
Hey Matt,
The day after the11th. So hard yesterday. Lots of love sent your way from family and friends. What to do, what to do to get through this month. July 20th is coming.
Mom
H
July 9, 2021
Aww, Matt. You´re always in my heart, but heavier on my mind during this month. Summer feels like "Matt Season". Sending love to all that love. Your memory truly is a blessing.
July 5, 2021
Love you Matt- Hat.
July 5, 2021
Love- mom
Matt- 2021
Jayne Morrison
July 5, 2021
Sarah and Mathilde 2021
Jayne Morrison
July 5, 2021
LA 2021
Jayne Morrison
July 5, 2021
LA 2021
Jayne Morrison
July 5, 2021
Jayne Morrison
July 11, 2020
Hey Sweet boy,
Well what to say? Covid is spreading around US. We are all doing as little as possible - avoiding going into stores, the Y, knitting with friends, no sports are being played, school have been closed since March. Mathilde is learning on line and Sarah is teaching on line. Josh and Kelly are secure in Manhattan with their two dogs. Kelly has a great job and Josh is now certifed as a lawyer in NY. Your dad plays his game and watches boxing on TV as it is the only sport being allowed to play. Well, maybe baseball ( 60 gamers) at end of July.
Will stop now and write later. Stay well . Miss you.
Mom
Kelly Simos
July 9, 2020
Matthew, I found your tent the other day and popped it open for my boys to play in. I told them all about you and the music we listened to while we drove around town, not really doing much but being kids. I love and miss you very much. You influence me to this day.
Jayne Morrison
December 17, 2019
Matt,
Josh came over today - he was at Court in Skokie. You would be so proud of him Matt. He is happy. Miss you so much - we all do.
Marty and Tiffany are now the official parents of Virginia. So happy for them! Sarah and Mathilde are coming in on the 26th. Can't wait to see them. Mathilde is now 7 and she has a BFF - she is growing up. I told her one of your favorite books was the BFG.
Love you baby boy. Your Christmas stocking is up
Mom
Jayne Morrison
November 27, 2019
Hey Sweetie,
tomorrow is Thanksgiving. We will be at the P. Josh and Kelly and her sister are with Sarah and Mathilde in LA. Glad they are together. They flew out today and it was very windy - so happy the flight was not cancelled. Have been writing but none of my messages are appearing so will probably have to figure out what is happening.
Haven't been out to see you but will go next week. I want to cover your resting place with greens and some red garland. Miss you so much Matt. I can see you - the missing and grief never leaves me.
Jayne Morrison
November 20, 2019
Hi Sweetie,
Watching the debates with dad. I know you would be supporting Bernie. So, so miss talking to you . Thanksgiving is next week / will be playing the usual song by Arlo.
I write but nothing seems to go on the guest book. . Hope you are happy? What a strange thing to say.
Love you and just know that your friends keep you in their hearts.
Mom
Sarsh Woltmann
January 30, 2019
Jayne, Thank you for your kind words and gentle support. I can't believe 5 years have gone by already. I know you understand the feeling. We never really get over the feeling of loss, we just learn how to carry it with us better. I appreciate you and Doug and Josh so much! Love to all of you! Here's to the memories of our sweet Matty and Kurt! XOXOXO
November 27, 2018
Matty! A few months ago I played your song for my daughter. I love that song. I love that it can bring me to tears when I really need to let go and cry. I love that it fills me with memories of you. I love that when I hear it, it takes me back to a simpler time in life when we were not constantly reminded of how much we have to lose. When sundown plays the sky, I want to hide awhile, behind your smile...I miss you everyday. I keep hoping that one day I really will see you on the other side of the universe.
Always,
Sarah
Cemetery- Holloween
Jayne Morrison
November 18, 2018
2018 - first Grade - LA
Jayne Morrison
November 18, 2018
2018 at LA beach-
Jayne Morrison
November 18, 2018
Sarah and Nathilde
Jayne Morrison
November 18, 2018
Ayne Morrisin
November 18, 2018
Hey Sweetie,
God you are missed and thought of. Was with Rich and Betty last night and I showed her a picture when you were about 8 - so sweet - so kind. My heart is forever broken as is your father's , brother and sister's. Love you
Mom
July 20, 2018
Hey Mateo. It's just been too long.
forervers. Kelly
June 3, 2017
Hi Sweetie,
I was thinking of Lola today and how you loved her. After your death she never left my side. She knew when I could hardly bare getting out of bed, going to work, or even answering the phone. When I cried she was with me - when I went to bed at night she was near me. She lived as long as possible and never complained. What a faithful pet! I miss her .
I am tired but I keep flowers growing at your grave and find solace being there - being next to you! How I miss you Matt.
Mom
I'm a grandma, Matt. This is your niece Mathilda.
Jayne Morrison
June 3, 2017
Sarah Woltmann
May 29, 2017
Just heard a song that reminded me of you. Funny how that works. You're never too far away though we're a million miles apart. I love you still. I love you always.Sarah
May 13, 2017
Matt - I have been here all the time. Hard to write but you are in my heart beating furiously. Never gets easier. Love you baby boy with the strong shoulders.
Mom
Jayne Morrison
September 2, 2016
Jayne Morrison
September 2, 2016
sarah woltmann
March 31, 2016
Matt! Where the hell are you? Seriously? Today I am so mad. Where are you and where is Kurt? I used to think I knew of a pace far away beyond what my mind could fathom but I don't know. Emptiness is all I feel. I want so desperately to know that you and Kurt are somewhere out there and checking in on us from time to time. I know all these people that get signs and have dreams. I did dream of you once Matt. Best dream I ever had. Only dream that ever gave me hope for smething after this world. But now, nothing. I don't understand. I'll never understand. I had a dream once years before Kurt died. I was an old woman, surrounded by new husband and children and grandchildren and I was so happy because I was getting to see Kurt again. I knew he was going to leave me, or maybe it was always my biggest fear. Why can't I dream with any meaning anymore? Empty. Empty head empty heart. Fake smiles, sometimes real happiness, sometimes real pain. I just wish I could have a little something ya know. That's not too luck to ask for. I miss you...I miss kurt...I miss you...
Jayne Morrison
September 10, 2015
Hey Matt,
Sitting in car in the rain at cemetery. Geese are looking for worms and seem quite happy in the rain. Dreary out but had to get out to see you since it has been three days since I have been here. We are all well but sure do miss you. Your niece is three and is so sweet you would just love her and she would have you wrapped around her finger. PDP are busy. J and K are doing well and are happy. Really nothing to complain jabout but your absence. Oh yes, grandma M is turning 99 at the end of the month and Doug's Uncle J passed awar. Have been calling Aunt E and sending her pictures. Wish there was one of you.
I miss you sweet boy.
Mom
July 31, 2015
You have been so heavy on my mind. Haven't written but that does not mean anything. Always in my thoughts no matter where I am or who I am with. You really messed up your mom - wish we had talked more. I love you so much!
sarah woltmann
July 14, 2015
Matt! Where are you! Please give Kurt a big hug for me and I expect you both to see me in my dreams soon. It's been far too long and I miss you. I have been thinking so much about you. All good memories flooding my heart. I remember when I made you stay at the library for 2 extra hours and I refused to drive you home until you gave me a kiss. You Were so shy and embarrassed I just couldn't resist. ☺ I just miss your friendship Matt. We could talk about anything and having people like that is beyond valuable. Sometimes I feel people forgot that feeling...they forgot the sadness and the loss and they are back to the ridiculous day to day nothing that fills our empty and they call it a life. I know you always searched for more and you inspired me to see beyond the illusion and for that I will always be grateful. Losing you changed me forever...losing Kurt changed me forever...sometimes I wonder what it all really means. Some days I can't wait to be a tired old lady ready to see what's next for my old soul because if I have it my way I will see you again but this time forever. I miss you Matty...so very much. Love you always...
July 12, 2015
Oh how I miss you!
March 30, 2015
Matt may your rambling bring you joy.
I am at the cemetery right now and thinking of you sprawled out on your bed, looking sheepish as you come downstairs. God, I miss you. So much has changed in our lives, in your friends' lives during these last years.
Nothing is the same or is there joy since you have gone away.
January 24, 2015
Miss you so much Matt. Need to talk - I can't figure things out.
July 12, 2014
In so many ways today is worse than the 11 th. Memories just add to one's grief.
I love you Matt and you are in my head and heart all the time.
March 8, 2014
Thank you Jayne. I often wondered if they would let us know somehow also but then thought I hope that we all just move on to a better place and don't have to hang around this world after we are gone. I think that pain and sorrow is so personal and no one person or thing can dent it for the one experiencing it. In a sense that makes it one of the most authentic experiences one can have. I know that my children will help to get me through now and later I will help get them through ad they grow and have more questions. I came across all these pictures of matt the other day and felt my heart beating fast ad I was flooded with memories of him. I have a lifetime to process this and I do feel sometimes I will never feel better. I know that can't be true. We are designed to have deep emotions but also made to endure and change. I often feel so scattered when I think of my life with kurt. My memories of our lide bounce and collide and fade and bang at my brain. Its all very intense. I thank you for being a source of support for me and I feel lucky to have you!
March 6, 2014
Hey Matt,
This computer type is jumping around. Would love for you to be around - a friend of yours would love to talk to you.
Will try to get out to see you tomorrow - but the snow is so deep. I have stuck two red roses in the deep snow on your grave and one can still see the top of the Christmas tree. Do you think Spring will ever come?
Love you so much.
March 6, 2014
Dear Sarah,
I just read your letter and I remember feeling so many of the things you are feeling now. I wanted more than ever to at least dream of Matt. But I couldn't - nothing came - even now I don't have dreams of him. Yet, I remember things during the day - like when he was little and at the beach and how he loved the sand. I am standing behind him while he is building something with Josh and his shoulders are bent and the sun is glistening on his back. It seems so real. It has been seven years and I try to pull things from my memory of things he did or people he was with. I try to keep him alive in my mind all the time. It's hard every single day and I don't think grief for Matt or Kurt will ever go away. And for you right now, the pain is incredible. I have memories of seeing you, and your children and remembering the picnics when Kurt was here. I love when you told me you were pregnant with Zander...I love when you wrote in the book I would put out at the picnic. I love you for your smile and knowing you truly loved Matt and our family. You have done more for me than you will ever know.
I don't know about an after-life. But I know someday I will be gone and I hope so much that I will see him again.
Here's something I never told anyone. When my mom died, she was 60. Doug and I were in Chicago and we had no children. I know she loved her five children and I just knew that after her death she would never let us suffer so much from her loss. I was positive she would let me know there was a heaven or something so I could get through her passing. But, mom never did. I am absolutely going to tell her how disappointed I am when I see her.
You take care Sarah.
Jayne M
Sarah Woltmann
February 27, 2014
Jayne,
Thank you for your kind words. I really am in the thick of it now. Kind of a forest of sadness and pain. Im not sure how or when or if this will ever go away. I thought when we lost Matt nothing could top that hurt and then I lose my husband! I miss them both and I sometimes wonder if Matt was like, Kurt, what the heck are you doing here? And they are now together hanging out waiting for us to come home to them. Its just so painful. I feel strange and bad and cry all the time. Im trying but I dont know how to do this. How did you do this Jayne?!?!? I am so sorry because now that I understand your pain and loss I know I didnt do enough for you. I get it now. I wish I didnt but I do. Everyone keeps telling they are hurting with me and it makes me so angry. I think no your not! Go away and leave me alone! You have your family to go home to at night and I dont anymore. Worst I want so badly to dream about Kurt and I never can. I like your idea of keeping a journal on here and I will do the same for Kurt now. I love you Jayne!!! Tell Doug I said hello and I will be in touch soon. I guess I should be happy I know that Kurt and Matt are together watching over us right? Man...I just dont know how to do this...
January 18, 2014
January 18, 2014
Hi Matt,
Tomorrow is a big day for Josh. He is graduating from law school - I know you would be proud. This is his day for sure but do know that you will be in all our thoughts. I know you will be in Josh's.
I keep seeing your back and shoulders digging in the sand or swimming in the ocean or playing with Josh at the beach. Those were the days and I didn't realize how wonderful they were. Maybe I did because those memories are buzzing around in my head.
Love you Matt,
January 6, 2014
January 6, 2014
Hey Matt,
It has been awhile since I put finger to keyboard. We had a nice Christmas and as usual had quite a few over for dinner on the 25th. Always think of this as our one wonderful day as a family. Remember the early mornings and gathering around the tree with coffee and Lola and a cat or two. Well, things change and this time we will/ and did open presents with Josh and Kelly when they returned from RI after Christmas. Very wonderful but somber. So, we have had extremely cold weather and lots of snow. Rita has been in to attend a funeral but she is now safely back in Seattle. Doing some reading and believe it or not am going to start listening to some CD's. Maybe even _____ . Dad has been playing Leonard Cohen and Johnny Cash. Josh is studying hard for the bar and also working. Kelly is back at Northwestern holding down a very stressful but exceptional job. Sarah returns to teaching tomorrow. Mathilde is growing up so fast. She loves to have songs sung to her. I know you would be out to see her and probably have her riding horseback on your back. She is so sweet.
Your friends are so-so; good and bad things occur.
Wish you were here to hug and talk to.
I guess what I want to say is that I miss you so much. I just think of you and wish life would have been different for you. I know you are missed and will be forever.
I love you Matt and wish I would have done things differently so you would be here today.
December 8, 2013
December 8, 2013
The first snow today...you would like it. Went to the Basilica at 7:00 to remember you and I guess grieve for you. It was nice and I feel so drained. Thought of you and your cousin, Scott. You aunts and uncle all lit candles in rememberance Matt. They are all so special.
Tree is up and the little houses. I sure do think of all the years we went to pick out just the "right" tree for the house. It would take hours. Boy were we particular. I miss those times. I miss a lot not having you here and S, living so far away. J is great to have nearby and I so love him and K.
Must close. Love you MAtt.
October 11, 2013
October 11, 2013
Hey Matt,
One of those nights that I can't sleep. So angry that you are not around. You are missed so much. I think about your friends a lot. You really had such sweet people around you but I guess that didn't help, did it?
I am busy but very lonely. I rely on family so much and of course, dad. Worry about him but he keeps going. Think about you rubbing the top of his head, talking about music, reading books, and of course the Braves. :)
Talk to me sometime soon.
September 2, 2013
September 1,2013
Hey Matty,
Feeling down today...what about you? Cooking out with dad..not much else going on.
Can't believe I am so down...think about mom and dad and wish I could talk to them. Lordy, what's the point...right?
Sure do miss you and your concern.
August 13, 2013
August 14,2013
Hey Matt,
It hasn't been very good since your birthday. I now know how you felt about certain things....can't go into it - but I understand. How sad, isn't it.
July 13, 2013
<3
July 12, 2013
Time flies......................hope your wings are still strong Father Time
July 11, 2013
July 11, 2013
84 months
Hi Matt,
Seven years today...Have been out to see you and Dad is going out after work.
Seven Years
I see you in my mind's eye every day and evening
I wonder what your brother and sister think
I fear memories are slipping away - especially when you were younger
Yet, vivid memories are still in my heart
I try not to talk about you to people
People get on with their lives and don't want to hear sad stories
I fear people will forget you -- maybe that's why there are so many flowers at your burial spot
I brought another chime for the tree today
I am going to paint the sidewalk in front of the house red tomorrow
Have to buy some more flowers for the backyard.
Wish you could see your little niece
Wish you could see your brother and sister and sister-in-law
Wish to ____ you would communicate in some way with me
I miss you every moment of every day.
You were so special to me - you made me feel loved -
June 29, 2013
June 29, 2013
Hi Sweetie,
Just home from a wonderful wedding in Northampton for your cousin. You would have loved being there , Up in the mountains in an old farm house. Some say it was once used during prohibition. The place was called "Dream Away Lodge." It took an hour to drive there from Northampton. Doug led the caravan and the directions ssaid not to deviate from what they said. It was a beautiful excursion. Sarah's little girl was a scene stealer and your brother was so beautiful with her. She's a little over 10 months and has the biggest eyes and she smiles constantly.
But, other wonderful news is that your cousin, R. had her first baby today in N...a little girl and Uncle Jim is elated. Gosh I wish you were here to celebrate these wonderful events. I see you in my mind's eyes at all the happy occasions and just know you would be so excited. I wonder how your life would be as it is now almost seven years since you disappeared from our lives. I hope you can read my mind so you know what I am thinking. Can you?
Getting ready for the party in July but this year it will be filled with little children. You will be on my mind Matt as i imagine you will be thought of by many of your friends who will be there. I love you more than you can imagine. I miss you and will see you tomorrow.
June 3, 2013
June 3, 2013
Your cousin passed away on May 31, 2013. He was 36 and lived a remarkable life considering what his condition was. Your Aunt B. has comfort that you and he and mom and dad will watch over him. I am going to look for the picture of you kids in Carolina where you are all on the porch and you have your arms around him in his wheelchair.
Will drive down this Wednesday with Uncle J. for the service. You know my heart is bringing you with me.
Life doesn't get easier, does it Matt.
Matt, I haven't written for such a long time. I visit your grave about 3 times a week. The flowers are beautiful: roses, daisies, petunias, etc.
It's going to be hard being in Kentucky for this funeral. Gosh, I love my family and you Matt. Don't give up on me, okay?
April 29, 2013
April 30, 2013
Sunday late or early Monday
Hey Matt,
I dreamt of you last night. Here goes:
I am in Lowe's or Menard's and I am standing talking to an employee about something and you walk up behind me and say, "Mom, can you buy this VCR for me." The VCR is the Christmas one with the kid who licks the telephone pole and gets his tongue stuck. I think it's called the The Christmas
Story. I turn and say, "Yes." Then you say, "But we have to get the one with this cover." The cover has transformers on it. I am still standing where the man is and I guess I say yes. You smile and have the video in your hand. You are standing right next to me at the counter. I know I looked at your face and you smiled.
In the meantime, Rosie is with us and she has found another beagle to play with and they are both climbing over things. That's where the dreams ends.
What do you think?
I know I haven't written lately but I write every day in my head. Maybe you can read my thoughts?
So much is happening here and in the world. Are you keeping up?
I miss you sweet boy. I love you1
March 8, 2013
March 7, 2013
Friday
To Matt....
Snow covering your stone
Snow covering flowers
Swept away the snow
but left hearts piercing the ground
love just intensifies
life is hard
life is hard...snow covers everthing in my heart
Feel so dead inside
Cold like the snow...but the snow is
so beautiful...but I feel so dead.
February 13, 2013
February 11, 2013
79 months
Hey Matt,
I can't tell you how much you have been on my mind. I wonder so much about you and can't come to grips with things. I hope people are thinking of you and have come to the realization that you will live on somehuw as long as there is someone alive who hears of your story. I was thinking of little "Aaron Matthew" and how someday he will ask his parents why was he given the name he now carries? And Aaron is only a few months old. And then there is "M" and what does her name mean? She too is only a few months old.
Therefore, you will be around in our hearts for a long time. Right?
Losing a child is so incomprehensible..I think of the parents who lost their first graders in Conn. They were only six and seven and so innocent. At least I had you for many years. I think of the day at the house when so many of your friends were here - upstairs, downstairs, backyard, front yard, alley, etc. Who were they all Matt? They all came because of you. I wonder where they all are now. I think of PDP and wonder if they still play the song that was written for you. Maybe it's too hard or maybe it's just a regular song now. I don't know.
Going out to see you tomorrow for Valentine's Day. I will bring you something. Matt, if you were here I am hoping you would be happy with your life. But, we will never know. I know I was always happy with you. I love you.
January 5, 2013
January 4, 2012
Friday
Matty,
You must be wondering why I haven't written on Christmas or New Year's Day. It was just too hard.
Thoughts of Christmas just overwhelm me at times. I remember you kids making coffee and trying to wake us up. By the time we got downstairs you had divided all the presents into stacks. Dad was always the last one down and took forever to get into the living room. Lola would be lying in the middle of the room looking so confused. I always felt relaxed and calm even though we would be having 15 to 20 people arriving for dinner. God, it was fun!!! How you and Josh would laugh at the gifts that you both got that were identical except for color: pajamas, underwear, sweaters. I always told Sarah she was fortunate to be the only girl as her gifts were more unique and she didn't have to share or change colors.
Josh was over today as law classes don't start for another week. He set up the I=Pod that Sarah gave me and we were able to call and see her and Mathilde. I sang to the baby but was thinking of you and the songs grandpa would sing to you kids when you were little.
Your Uncle Angus and Ian from Canada are coming in tomorrow and then down to Olgisvy to look for an apartment for Ian, Meredith, and baby Alice.
Forgot to let you know that Louise and Mike are engaged and Rebecca is due in July. So many wonderful things happening. I miss you Matt. Even when I swim I think of you and when you swam for the WSO - you were just a little guy then.
I am going to tell you about your Christmas stocking and the great idea I have.
Stomach giving me problems but it has been worse.
Think of me and let me know things are okay. I wish I could go into the bedroom and say "good-night."
Love you Matty,
January 4, 2013
Mrs M- I stumbled upon Matthew's obit late one night years ago. I sat and read through all of your entries and cried and I come back from time to time and continue to cry. You see, I have a son named Matthew. He's 12 now and I can't imagine losing him. My Matt loves music. My Matt went to fortnightly in a itchy suit and danced with his mother. My Matt loves to read. My Matthew will sometimes say "love you mom" when he leaves the house. I wish you could hug my Matt and your pain would magically disappear. Not that it will help you, but reading your passages sometimes cause me to stare at my Matthew and just drink in how lucky I am that he's my son and he's still here.
Thank you for sharing something so intimate with me. One of your fears is that people will forget your Matthew. Please know that I'm a complete stranger, and I will never forget him.
Love,
Matthew's Mom
December 12, 2012
Dec. 12, 2012
(77 months, I think)
Hey Matt,
Well, you missed a great party at the house. A celebration for Mathilde. Neighbors, your friends, our friends. Josh and Sarah's friends all came over to see the baby. Mathilde is precious and Sarah is doing a fantastic job.
Also saw N. and her two beautiful children as well as S. and her two beautiful children. We really didn't have an opportunity to talk but I have a strong feeling they think of you often. I think those two girls are very special and they have been so kind to me. Everyone looked great and it was a joyous occasion even though you weren't present.
I wish you could see your brother with the baby, He just smiles and smiles when he holds her. I imagine how you would be with her and I can almost see and hear your smile and laugh. I think he came over every day to be with her.
I wish KM had been able to come to the celebration. It would have been super to have had a picture of the entire family. Maybe next time when Sarah comes - but that won't be until the summer. I will go out in Feb, or March.
So, let me tell you that the baby has a beautiful smile, big, big brown eyes, perfect eyebrows, dark lashes, dark hair, and a chubby baby body. I love her so and I love Sarah.
No snow - still swimming and keeping busy, Oh yes, the tree is beautiful - first one in six years. Oh yes, KJ had a baby boy a week or so ago. She too is a wonderful person. You certainly had some good friends. Matt. I so wonder how things would be today if you were here.
Matty - you are in my heart all the time. How I miss you as does your dad. I keep you close and think of you so much. I wish Mathile would have known you.
Love,
November 25, 2012
November 26, 2012
(Sunday after Thanksgiving)
Hey Matt,
I put up the tree yesterday. It isn't real but it is very life-like. This is the first tree since you left six years ago. It still doesn't seem real that you aren't here. Haven't thought yet about putting up the ornaments. Will wait and see.
S. and M. are coming in on the first Monday in December. Your little niece is gorgeous and very sweet. How I wish you could hold her. I think back to when Sarah graduated from St. John's and you held Jenny's little boy. I miss you so much.
Cold here oh...Poor Buddy! His coat was matted and I couldn't get the mats out so Doug and I took him to Dr. Roberts. Everyone in the office said, "That's the biggest cat I ever saw." It didn't bother sweet Buddy...I believe he still thinks of himself as a kitten. I remember you holding him and Josh holding Spookie in the kitchen. I still have a picture of you two. Anyway, Dr. Roberts had to shave his back and does he look strange. But, good old Buddy was very good and didn't mind at all. KM and her daughter M were over and laughed and laughed when he waddled in. But he just purred and got petted.
Will be out this week to cover you with warm evergreens and I have a little tree to put out. I don't know if S. will want to come out or not. Whatever she wants to do, is fine.
Stay well...think of us all. You are in my heart all the time.
November 12, 2012
November 11/12-2012
76 months
Hi Matt,
Cold weather
ground hardening
flowers dying
but you are not
Tears hardened like cold silver snow
Head pounding and wondering what you were thinking
Are you resting comfortably?
So much I want to know
Maybe I should leave things as they are?
Nothing good came without you
Nothing!
October 17, 2012
October 11,2012
75 months
Hey Matt,
Well I know it's not the 11th but I like writing to you on that date.
A friend of yours was out to see you and left you a Newport. It's still there even though we have had quite a bit of rain. It's strange on that particular day I was out by myself doing some weeding of your flowers. I didn't notice the gift right away and as soon as I saw it, I gasped and sort of lost my breath. It makes me so happy and yet so sad to see gifts left for you. So, Matt's friend, I thank you so much.
Debates were on tonight and I wish you were here to talk about it. Always fun to hear your opinion. I wonder since you left us how your ideas would have changed or maybe they would still be what they were in 2006. I believe at that time, politics were something you really didn't like much. Gosh, I don't think you were around to even know Obama is our president.
Okay Matt, I am not giving up on you. I am going out tomorrow and we'll talk.
Your little niece MAThilda will be here with your sister in early December. I hope I can feel you in the house. I need that... I am going to put up a Christmas tree. It will be the first tree since you left.
Life is so hard but it is for many people. The pain just never leaves me...probably it's the same for most parents who lose a child.
If you were here I would ask you to put the Obama sticker on my car bumper.
I love you sweet boy
October 4, 2012
Dear
Thank you for the information about Molly's baby...Aaron Matthew. I don't know what to say. I know that little boy will be kind and very loving. Matt's dad was very touched by the name.
Our thoughts are always with Matt's friends. I know I don't know all of you but your presence is there when I am at the cemetery. Sometimes I find a cigarette or a beer cap or a candle but lately there are just the flowers and little toys I find to put amidst them. But you all are in our hearts. I miss all the memories that should be a part of all our lives. I miss friends not coming over. I miss his music. I miss him saying "I love you Mom." I miss the big Budget truck in the driveway. Boy, he could back it up so well.
Wouldn't it be great to just skip July 11,2006. Just wipe that day out.
Thank you again...Stay well. Visit anytime.
October 3, 2012
October 3,2012
Miss you Matt
everyday
every hour
every good time
every sad time
every morning
every evening
when I swim
when I walk
when I drive
when I think... it's of you
September 19, 2012
How sweet for Molly to have a sweet little baby boy. Of course, the name is so touching.
Please keep Matt forever in your heart and in memories.
Wonderful wishes for Molly and baby.
H
September 17, 2012
Thinking a lot about you lately. Molly welcomed a new little boy and named him Aaron Matthew...
You will always be in our hearts and always be dearly missed.
<3
September 17, 2012
September 17, 2012
Monday
Matty,
Mathilde is one month old today. She is so cute...Doug saw a baby yesterday when we were out for dinner, a little older than Mathilde and said, "Our baby is cuter." That says a lot doesn't it.
Wonder so much what your life would be now that it's over six years since I saw you. Budget trucks still upset me...so does a pink bathrobe...so does a big bowl of cereal...Have to get into your room and put things away.
I miss you so much.
September 15, 2012
September 11, 2012
74 months
Matt,
I have not forgotten the date ...but I am slow in writing to you.
Fall is slowly edging into 2013..we are having some beautiful days. I know you would enjoy being outside and eating an apple. I was out to see you yesterday and just stood and listened to the sounds: planes flying overhead, leaves rustling, birds speaking to other birds, cars with families driving down the road to visit the deceased. How sad. I so wish you would appear to me and talk to me. Life doesn't get easier.
So many years have passed and yet time has stopped for us. I wonder how life is beyond one's death? I guess "life" is not the right word to use. I wish I was smart and could understand more of the world. I wish I could go on without you.
September 8, 2012
Hey Matt,
Here is some wonderful news:
Mathilde Mae Morrison
April 17, 2012
You are officially a proud uncle. Wish you were here to hold her.
Miss you more than ever.
August 10, 2012
August 10, 2012 (I think)
Hey Matt,
Hard day today...found a tiny, tiny porcelain turtle in one of your containers that held tools, pictures, receipts, etc. I placed it in the cabinet in the living room. I know you always liked little things. I would get some animals for you whenever i went to WI.
Saw my brother and sisters and spouses in Asheville and many of their children. You would have loved being there and they would have loved seeing you. E's little boys always give me something to bring to your grave. Her boys are so sweet as is she. I wish the things in my head could just appear on paper. I am thinking about taking an art class. Why? I don't know.
R. was in from Seattle and we went to see you - she found the cemetery very calming. I do too.
Stomach really hurts and I don't know why...always feel nauseous.
Boy, I felt so close to you today. Miss you so much..
July 25, 2012
July 25, 2012
Wednesday
Hey Matt,
Where are you tonight?
Where are you tonight?
I wish you were here.
I would love to talk to you and hear your plans
It's like feeling like a brick with four sharp corners
I want to feel like a leaf or a flower or pollen blowing in the hot air
I want to feel good again
I can't
July 23, 2012
July 11 -24
six years
Hey Matt,
Don't know why my messages haven't been printed but you know this month was hard and so many of us had you in our hearts.
The world can be such a cruel place. Terrible shooting on your birthday in Colorado at a theatre of the last movie of Batman. I listen to all the loved ones of the deceased and they don't want their friends, etc. to be forgotten. That's the same way I feel about you.
Spoke to N. and she is having a one year birthday party for her daughter so I will go and drop off a present. She is so incredibly sweet - she is happy but she remembers you and even sent me a card on Mother's Day. What a nice couple you two would have been - only if,,,, S. is doing well and goes to the doctor on Thursday - these last few weeks can be hard but at least she doesn't have the heat we have here in Chicago. Your sweet friend K. stopped over a few weeks ago. She is due in December and she misses you Matt. But she looks great and is working and seems happy.
I am lazy but the heat doesn't help. Ordered some new furniture - the floors in the house look amazing - wish you were here to see them. I wonder what books you would be reading? Apples will be out in a month or two and I know you would love to have them.
I love clouds Matt. I was thinking of when I was a Picture LAdy at Middleton and I brought in a John Constable painting. 3/4 of the painting was sky and clouds. He kept notebooks of clouds. At the time, I thought that was so strange but now I know why he kept them.
Miss you so much.
Will visit tomorrow.
July 7, 2012
Hey Matty,
July is this hard month. I know your friends keep you in their thoughts and that sure makes me feel good. But missing you is so hard - you should be here today getting ready for your birthday later in the month. Did you know I was going to get you a bathrobe? You really needed one too!!!
You wouldn't recognized all we have done in the house. The carpeting is gone and the floors have been sanded and stained. I really think you would like them. Now we have to put everything back. Wish you were here to help Doug with the CDs'. You two would have good conversations. S and J are great. Going out to LA in August as that is when the "little granddaughter is due". What a wonderful uncle you would be - all of you kids have always been great with children. But, being an uncle is pretty special.
Oh yes, KJ is having a baby in early December. She stopped over and we talked. I certainly love that girl.
Very hot in Chicago and have gone out to water the flowers and thankfully they are doing okay.
I miss you and I miss laughing and teasing. It's been hard for everyone but days turn to night and night turns to morning skies that are so beautiful at times. I love the fall and the stars. I like thinking about you then. Wish you could send me a sign. Will see you tomorrow.
June 19, 2012
Just wanted to say that we're always thinking of Matt. We will always love you and remember you. Love Dave & Diane
June 18, 2012
June 18,2012
Yesterday was Father's Day and it was a difficult day for your dad. We went to the cemetery and of course I planted a few more flowers. Dad read and got two stones to lay on your gravestone. Lots of people visiting at the cemetery.
We are working on the inside of the house, pulling up all the carpeting and going back to hardwood floors. - looks nice. I wonder if dad will be able to walk into your room after everything is finished?
I love you Matt...Josh has been so helpful in packing up the house for the painting and the redoing of the floors. He's a real take charge boy!!! I can just see you together. When I see the tatoos on his wrists it makes me remember how your loss has affected him.
Hot day today and the next two. In the 90's - will water flowers at the cemetery tomorrow.
June 16, 2012
Matt,
So much has happened in these last six years. I found an article I had saved and the author mentioned that the prime fear of people who lose someone is that they will be forgotten. Sound familiar? Then the person went on and said that one can memorialize the person in some way and I guess that was what the picnic every year was about??? But, I don't know if that should be done anymore. What do you think?
June 11, 2012
June 11, 2012
71 months (almost six years)
Hi Sweety,
Boy have you been on my mind lately. Flowers are planted and it has been warm so have to water every other day.
Finally, retired from teaching and it was the right time. I will miss teaching and the students but not the administration. I remember all the times you and Josh would come to school with me on Saturday and draw on the board - usually things about Metallica.
We are having the floors redone, and the downstairs painted - it's going to be a huge job. But, it will look nice when done. Josh cleaned out your room and he was so good...I know I wouldn't have been able to do it. He found a picture of Marty and Brian that you took and framed - he will give those to them.
All well here but you are on my mind I so wonder what your life would have been..I wonder and wonder. Oh yes, Sarah is doing well and I will be out to help her when the baby arrives in August. She's having a little girl.
I love you Matt...just like Sarah and Josh I love you more each and every day. I hope you can hear me.
May 22, 2012
May 22, 2012
12:00 midnight
Matt,
A terrible horrible day==I miss you so much..I don't want to cry.
Love you
May 12, 2012
May 12, 2012
Mother's Day
(70 months)
Hey Matt,
Well tomorrow is Sunday and it's Mother's Day. It's not the happiest day of the year - that's for sure. I remember the last time we celebrated. You, Dad, and Josh. We were standing around the dining room table and I was opening your presents. I think you both gave me this outside "hanging thing" that I still put out in the backyard. however, I do remember you giving me an orange change person from India, but that was probably for my birthday later in the month. As I recall mine had been stolen or lost. Hmmmm.....
Haven't gotten flowers planted yet. But I will later in the month. I have been bringing out little items I find at the back of the Salvation Army when I walk Bonnie. I place them on your stone. I don't know what to do without you, MAtt.
It is something Matt to have you always in my head. Gosh, I yearn to talk to you. I play games with myself and see you walking toward the house...sometimes I imagine the front door opening and you walking in....sometimes I imagine you putting your arm around my shoulder and we laugh together. I miss you. You know I had a lot to do with your life and somewhere I became selfish and thought only of me and not you kids. Oh for a do-over...right?
I am so tired lately. Sometimes in the morning when I am driving to work my eyes close... now, that's scary. But I manage to make it to work and feel okay by the end of the day.
I am hoping that even if you don't have anything to do with the living - that there might be a place for the dead to go and be happy together. I know I would love to see you.
I love you....tomorrow you are standing with me and I with you.
Love
April 12, 2012
April 11, 2012
69 months without you
Dear Matt,
Can you hear me scream? Can you see your dad clench his feast? What about your sister and brother...what about them?
I'm just going along Matt. I wonder if you know what's going on here at home? Even if we don't know where you are, I wonder if you see us...if you do, you must feel awful. You know, I just can't understand what happened. What caused your life to change? You are one of the sweetest and kindest person around...Just what happened? I must have had some impact on the decisions you made. I will always blame myself for putting you kids second in my life. Man, I miss you Matt!!! It's almost six years. Six years? Now that sounds like a long time but I relive so much of those days in July that everyday is July 11th.
Will stop rembling. Stop in, in anyway you can.
Love you,
April 1, 2012
Matt,
Do you know what it's been like?
Sun and moon , stars and sky
Nothing smiles
Sun and moon , stars and sky
there is a shade over everyone's life
Sun and moon, stars and sky
Can't find you anywhere tonight
Sun and moon, stars and sky
Do your friends miss you or has time gone by?
Sun and moon, stars and sky
Okay, the tears are dry but my heart is shrouded in guilt and lies.
March 29, 2012
March 29, 2012
Matt,
It's been awhile hasn't it. Well, let's see I just returned from LA to see Sarah, Miguel, and :). Hard to leave but she will come in at the end of May or early June.
I am anxsious to start planting flowers for you. When I walk Rosie in the alley behind the SA, I often find little toys that I pick up and bring out to you. Silly, I guess. Wow, sorrow and loss just don't go away. I wonder if you are watching us. I would be so happy to know that you are. i don't know what to tell you MAtt, but I miss you and wish our family could be whole...So, I realize after 5 1/2 years that life does go on but it just isn't the same and it never will be. It doesn't matter how long it is, the pain is always present.
Be is no pain - be in no pain - Be in no pain. I can only be content with what I had and what I now have. That's not suppose to be morbid.. I know that sometimes I am athinking things and not putting them down correctly. But, we all love you. I love you
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