Paul Gray

Paul Thaxton Gray was born January 27, 1939, to Joseph Quinten Gray and Lela Faye Thaxton Gray in Russellville Arkansas.

He graduated from Dardanelle High School in 1957. That same year he married his high school sweetheart Billie, whom he shared 43 happy years of marriage until Billie's death in 2001. He entered Arkansas Tech University and graduated in 1962 with a degree in music education and later a Master of Education. When Paul returned from the Army in 1964 to look for a band director job, his mentor, Gene Witherspoon told him the job in Mena was open and that he should take it. Paul did whatever Mr. Witherspoon said and took the job. Paul intended to stay in Mena for a year or two. He stayed the rest of his life.

After his family, Paul's passion for life was his music and teaching. He took over the Mena band program in 1964 and began to build a program that would not only be known in the state of Arkansas for its excellence but regionally and nationwide. Students remember his stern, but loving, pursuit of perfection. But they also loved his wicked sense of humor and his love for them and belief that they could do anything as a team. His students in the band will recall one of his mantras at practice, "we're gonna do this one more time" only to know, there would be perhaps a dozen more "one more times." Paul, the husband and father and grandfather and band Director were many times regaled with his sayings and quotes, such as "I've enjoyed this, but I've enjoyed about it much of this as I can." Or, "you look like a bunch of goats" to his marching band when they did not get something absolutely perfect. Tuesday evening practice time would always be announced as, "Practice this evening will be 6:00 pm to dark 30."

At least a few clipboards might have been thrown to the ground and numerous ball caps flew off his head either being thrown to the ground or tossed off the top of the press box during practice to demonstrate his displeasure of not meeting the intended goal. His "kids" as he called his many band students, was indicative of the immense love he had for them, He expected their best effort at all times.

The highlights of his career were centered on the accomplishments of his "kids" in the band. There were the many first division band ratings. He loved that his students were able to play music far beyond what any reasonable human being knew was too hard and too risky for a small high school band to play at contest. He was most proud of his students when they played in front of audiences of band directors from around the region and country at the Four States convention and twice at the National Bandmasters convention. He was humble, but he was so proud of his "kids" when the many band directors would tell him how amazing his band was and that kids from such a small school in Arkansas could play music that would challenge a large university band.

Another experience he loved was being named the co-Director of the first Arkansas state band as they were sponsored by the Arkansas Lions club to be their entry in the parade for the international Lion's club conventions in Montreal, Canada in 1979 and Chicago in 1980. Paul and the other directors led the Montreal group to the most outstanding band award in the international parade.

Paul was president of the Arkansas School Band and Orchestra Association in 1979 and was a lifelong member. His band's first division awards are too numerous to count and name. It was just assumed that his band would earn a "one" at every contest. On the rare occasion it didn't, it was news to everyone. When it did happen, he would tell his "kids" about where he had failed in his leadership of them and tell them we are going back to work, which they all did.

Paul was an avid fisherman, hunter, and golfer. His duck hunting exploits are legendary for those who were in his presence. His love fishing on the Ouachita River with his sons, and, of course, Harold Coogan, and many others. His many golf rounds with Bob Tillman, Joe Mannon, and countless others featured colorful discussions of many kinds. There was a time in his golf years that many of his family members begin to wonder if he loved golf as much as he did music. But of course, we knew that was not possible – but it did indicate how much he loved golf.

His family would like to extend their love and appreciation to the community of Mena where he made his lifelong home, He never forgot the love and support that the community gave him when he lost his son Roger in 1973 at the age of nine. Even in his older years, when encouraged by his sons to move closer to one of them, he said, "It's just too hard to leave a place that's given me so much."

He was proceeded in death by his son, Roger Alan Gray, and his wife Billie Jean Brister Gray.

Paul is survived by his wife of 20 years, Carol Gray, two sons, Paul Jr. and his wife Beth, of Russellville and Michael and his wife Angelique of Mountain View. Five grandchildren, Jennifer (Justin) McElroy of Dover, Zachary (Jess) of Portland, Oregon, Ariston (Matt) of Little Rock, Kenner and Cole Gray of Mountain View, and two great grandchildren, Grayden and Emma McElroy, of Dover.

The family will receive visitors at Beasley Wood Funeral home in Mena at 5 pm on Thursday, June 27, 2024. A service and celebration of his life will be held Friday, June 28, 2024, at 10 am at the Performing Arts Center at Mena High School. There we can all celebrate not far from one of the two band rooms he spent most of his life and his professional career in. Brother Voyt Lynn will be officiating under the direction of Beasley-Wood Funeral Home. Pallbearers are Andy Threlkeld, Carl Cude, Todd Coogan, Charles Morgan, Keith Wood, and Clark Cude. Honorary pallbearers are all of Mr. Gray's band students.

He will be interred at Ard Cemetery near Dardanelle only a few hundred yards from where he grew up. All are welcome to join for a short graveside service at 3 pm.

In lieu of flowers, please donate to the Mena Band Booster Club through the Union Bank of Mena. We hope to establish a scholarship in his name.

Online obituary available at Beasley-Wood Funeral Home | Mena, Arkansas (beasley woodfuneralhome.com).