William Thomas Coder, Jr.

Wilmington - W. Thomas Coder, Jr., age 83 of Wilmington, died peacefully Thursday, April 16 at his daughter Lauri's home.

Mr. Coder is survived by his wife of 15 years, Lois; his daughters Jodi Shitama (Jack) of Earleville, MD, Lauri Stout (Jay) of Middletown, DE, Leslie Diestel (Greg) of Denver, PA; son Tom of Earleville, MD; 8 grandchildren; 1 great grandchild; his brother Bob Coder of Tellico Plains, TN.

Born in Mapleton Depot, PA, he was a graduate of Indiana University of Pennsylvania and married his college sweetheart, Charlene Weiser (who predeceased him after 41 years of marriage), in 1958. In 1959, he enlisted and served as an officer in the United States Army. In the 1960's, he taught Math at Conrad High School where he also served as an assistant football coach under his longtime friend Jim Pletcher earning a state football title for the undefeated 1969 Redskins. In the 1970s, he was a guidance counselor and head football coach at Christiana High School where he coached the Vikings to their first football State Championship (1977), State Runner up in 1974 and earned Coach of the Year. In 1980, he coached one season with his longtime friend, Marty Apostolico, helping to bring Dickinson High School their first state football championship. Mr. Coder coached football at the University of Delaware throughout the 1980s and into the early 1990s where he also served as the University's Athletic Admissions Liaison. He was honored to be inducted into the Christiana High School Hall of Fame and Huntington County, PA Sports Hall of Fame.

Mr. Coder was a member of St. Marks United Methodist Church in Stanton, DE. Mr. Coder enjoyed golfing, vacationing in Cape Hatteras with his family, watching any and all sports, and being with his family, grandchildren and friends. He loved teaching, coaching football, his assistant coaches, players, referees and the entire DIAA family.

A Memorial Service will be planned at St. Marks United Methodist Church, 1700 Limestone Rd in Stanton, DE, once it is safe to congregate.

In lieu of sending flowers, the family has asked that donations be made to "Delaware Foundation Reaching Citizens with intellectual disABILITIES" (DFRC) (https://www.dfrc.org), an organization that he was proud to be a part of. Send in care of R.T. Foard Funeral Home, P.A., 111 South Queen Street, Rising Sun, MD 21911. To send an online condolence, please visit, www.rtfoard.com.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by The News Journal from Apr. 20 to Apr. 21, 2020.

Memories and Condolences
for William Coder

Sponsored by R.T. Foard Funeral Home, P.A. - Rising Sun.

50 Entries

Craig Swank

April 29, 2020

Simply stated I loved Tom Coder and will miss him tremendously. He had a phenomenal way of motivating us to succeed and win in sports and in life. The key factor is that it was not for him but for us and he made us realize that opportunities in life are precious and few.....failure was not an option. Special thanks to Tom's amazing family who was there for him every step of the way during his illness....God Bless.

Elwood Black

April 27, 2020

Thank-you Coach Coder for the supportive words of encouragement on the practice field and the patience when this TE dropped the easy pass, forgot the snap count, or missed the block.

Isabelle Marshall

April 27, 2020

Dear Jodi, Jack and family; My sympathy and prayers to you. There are fond memories still at Hopewell of your Mother and Father. God be with you. Isabelle

Wayne Lynch

April 26, 2020

I had the good fortune of student teaching at Christiana High School in the fall of 1974. I volunteered to be an assistant coach for the freshman football team . Playing football for both Bob Hoffman at Newark High and freshman football at the U. of D. under Tubby Raymond , Coach Coder was happy to put me to work. Needless to say that fall the varsity team went to the state championships and Coach Tom made us feel we were part of the building process which we were extremely proud of.
Tom Coder was a guidance counselor at Christiana High when I student taught there in the autumn of 1974. I can truly say he would go to great lengths for his students to achieve success in whatever path they chose to follow. He was a passionate teacher and an outstanding mentor for young people to gravitate to and associate with.

Tom's influence was so lasting, I became a coach and trainer of professional all- star baseball players, pro football hall-of-famers, Olympic gold-medalist ice skater and professional bodybuilders.

Thank you, Tom, for your enduring influence on all your students and associates.

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Butch Simpson

April 24, 2020

If you had the good fortune of having Tom Coder in your life, you were blessed. At first, I worked with his wife Char at NHS. As an assistant football coach, I was watching Tom work his magic from across the field. Ironically, even though we weren't in college at the same time, we went to the same university ( IUP) and belonged to the same fraternity.

Char and Tom had such a beautiful relationship and they retired looking forward to devoting themselves to all of the things they had in common. When Char's health declined, I found it overwhelming to watch Tom devout his entire existence to caring for her. He always remained so positive in spite of the challenges. Everything Tom did, he did it with class and dignity.

When I joined the weekly breakfast club that he founded, we seemed to always find a way to sit together. I so looked forward to our time together. Tom made everyone's life better when you were with him. He created a comfort zone for us by simply being the person he was. Tom was meant to be in the people business.

He had many different roles in life. As I read the tributes, the common ground is that he had the same beautiful effect on people. Whatever brought them together, he was always Tom Coder.

As we live our lives, we hopefully have the opportunity to be with wonderful people. If we are really fortunate, there might be a few that are really special. Tom Coder was very special. Most of us aspire to be who and what he was. His spirit will live on in our hearts and minds forever. It was a privilege to have him in my life and I am honored that he was my friend. Thank you Tom.

Pat Walker

April 24, 2020

Let each of us remember the moments in time that impacted our happiness with Tom/Coach. I have many.

Fred Polaski (Conrad 67)

April 23, 2020

Mr. Coder was a great teacher, coach, and person. I never was fortunate enough to have him in class at Conrad, but everyone who did thought the most of him. Everyone mentions how great a football coach he was, but in 1967 he was asked to be the Track and Field coach at Conrad my senior year. He was great at coaching track also. He was honest that he was learning just as I was when he asked me to run high hurdles for the first time, for which I never thanked him as I should have. My condolences to his family. He will be remembered as a great Conrad Redskin.

Mark Comegys

April 23, 2020

Mr. Coder was a hard working, dedicated, knowledgeable football coach. Typically dressed in grey gym trunks and grey T-shirt at practice, he earned his players' respect. I had Dr. Miller for Math and Mr. Coder's classroom was across the hall. It sure sounded like he taught Algebra with the same professionalism and tenacity that he coached with. He and Mr. Pletcher were a great team and I learned a lot from both of them.

Jerome Lewis

April 22, 2020

Goodbye Coach,I'll miss you,good man that you were.

Bill Murphy

April 22, 2020

Tom was the most important influence in my adult life. I am a much-improved version of myself, having been in his company.

In the Spring of 1970, for my student teaching experience, I was assigned to teach math at Conrad HS and my cooperating teacher was Tom Coder. When I first met with him, I had hair down to my shoulders, a beard, and was wearing shorts and sandals. Fortunately, Tom resisted judging me by my appearance. Rather, he preferred to look beneath the surface to find a person's true character and then use that perspective to help that person reach their potential. To me, he was the ideal model for a teacher.

That summer I accepted employment to teach math at Christiana HS. However, to get this job, I had to agree to be an assistant football coach. I was surprised to learn that Tom had left Conrad to become the Christiana head football coach. Although I had to be coerced by the principal into doing it, coaching with Tom (1971 to 1974) formed the core of my skills as a leader and manager. Because he collaborated with his assistant coaches, he expected much from us. We sensed his faith in us and thus we performed above our normal capabilities. Likewise, we learned to have faith in the football players and to expect the best from them.

Yes, the championships were wonderful, but for me, turning a team unable to win a game into a winner set the stage for what came later. That first season, we won eight tough games and lost two easy ones to place second in the Blue Hen conference behind Newark HS, my alma mater. To do this Tom had to convince the players and the coaches that we could win. He did so through leadership, preparation, teaching, drilling, and conditioning. We surprised everyone by beating St. Marks in the first game and later we defeated the powerhouse, Salesianum, 9 to 7, with a safety. At the end of the season, we beat Newark HS, our cross-town rival, for the first time. This success not only affected the team, it changed the spirit and attitude of the students at CHS for the better.

The capabilities of the players were little different than those of previous teams. The critical ingredient was Tom. As a leader should, he provided a clear vision of what we were going to do and made sure that we could see it and to believe it. As a good teacher, he helped us learn what we needed. As a good manager, he helped us execute to win. But most of all, he had faith in us, and we sensed it.

When Char's health was failing, Tom dropped everything to focus on her by driving her around the US in a van. Because of his love and dedication for Char, he became epitome of what a husband should be. My wife's health is not good, and I look at Tom's example for inspiration and guidance so that I can express the love that my wife needs now. Once again, I hope that Tom will help me reach beyond my grasp.

Bill Murphy
CHS Math Teacher and Assistant Football Coach ('71 - '74)

April 22, 2020

Tom was a really great person. I had the pleasure of working with him at Christiana HS, he always had a nice comment that would bring a smile to my face. I had the good fortune to go on golf trips with Tom and we were roommates together. The best one was our trip to Ireland a few years ago. We played a lot of golf and had many laughs even though it rained the whole week we were there. He was a wonderful person and I will surely miss him.

Jim Distefano
Rehoboth Beach, De

Lyndon King

April 22, 2020

He was a great mentor for me on and off the field. He will be sorely missed.

Michael Hudy

April 22, 2020

"I first met Coach Coder as a freshman football player at the U of D. I later found out that he was from the same area in PA that I was but from rival schools. He would always joke around with me about it. He was one of those coaches that made tough practices go easier with conversation and humor. When it came time to focus though it was all business. I met him by chance back in PA a couple of times long after I graduated and we picked up where we left off. I would like to give my deepest sympathy to Coder family and let you know that I watched him touch the lives of a lot of student athletes.

Sandi Manfredi

April 22, 2020

Coach was an inspiration to so many athletes, students, staff, and friends throughout his lifetime. We had a strong, tight-knit group of staff and students during his years at Christiana High. Years later I would see Tom at the golf course and he would joke about not being able to get out of a bunker - physically, not the golf ball!
A few years back several of his CHS football players had a golf outing "The Coder Years". We played golf, had dinner, lots of reminiscing, football players shared stories, some sent letters to be read, and photos taken - it was a great day. Thank you, Coach, for leaving a part of you with each of us.

jack keller

April 22, 2020

it wasnt mentioned but mr. coder coached conrad track which he and his assistant coaches were very suucessful. it was 1968 and my best year as a runner. i will never forget his personal interest in the team.

Dennis LaFazia

April 22, 2020

I worked at Christiana HS from 1974 to 1979 when Tom was the football coach and counselor. He was one of the nicest people you could ever meet. He cared about his students and players very much. I never had the opportunity to help coach football with Tom but was able to scout future football opponents for him on several occasions. While I was at Christiana HS, I could always count on Tom to say hello and make you feel that you were truly his friend. His family can be proud of all his accomplishments throughout his life. He is the kind of person you never forget. May he rest in Peace!
Dennis LaFazia
Student Advisor
Asst. Wrestling Coach

Fran Fulghum

April 22, 2020

My deepest sympathy to the Coder family. I played for Coach Coder in the early 70's at Christiana H.S. He was the best coach I ever played for but more than that he was a better person, someone who guided young people in the right direction and taught them life lessons. Coach Coder was one of my heroes in life, we all will miss him dearly.

Julie Rosen Rigby

April 21, 2020

Tom Coder was one of my favorite teachers at Conrad High, always positive and encouraging. He and Mr. Morningred made sure that we had a TV in Geometry class when the Pirates were in the World Series, when the games were during the school day. At an away basketball game, I remember his children, like stairsteps, all helping each other with their coats, just tots supporting their dad. I reconnected with Mr. Coder ( I just couldn't bring myself to call him Tom) during my first year of teaching at Krebs School in the Conrad Area School District. He was a counselor and was involved with training teachers about drugs use among students. He was a genuinely nice guy who impacted many people. His influence will be felt for many years.

Cheryl Rolick

April 21, 2020

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Dad was a great guy and I k ow how much you will all miss him. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Richard Farmer

April 21, 2020

We are so very sorry to learn of Tom's passing. We happened to run into him during one of our trips north a few years ago. Same old Tom!!! He remembered so many things about us and wanted a complete update on our lives. He was one of the all time GREAT role models for all of us.....students, teachers, and coaches. We will always remember his smile and his concern for others.

John & Sandra Baldino

April 21, 2020

Coder family, So sorry to hear about Tom. Sandy and I have fond memories of our trips to Cancun, Disney, Jamaica, and Key West with Tom and Char. He was a great coworker and friend. We often took days off to golf in N.J. I got a call from Tom asking if he thought Christiana would be a good move for him. I'm so glad he believed me. Before his1st football game, I asked him how he thought the team would do. To my surprise, he was confident. I almost laughed at him as Christiana had not won many games at that point. He did win and it was one of many. What a coach, friend, teacher, and Guidance Counselor. He was a wonderful person and will be missed. Eternal Rest Grant Unto Him Lord and let Perpetual Light Shine Upon Him.
Sandy and Jack Baldino

Frank Hagen

April 21, 2020

Tom, I enjoyed working with you and learning so much from you as we worked together at the Home of the Vikings. You were an asset to CHS as both a counselor and a coach. There is no doubt that you had a positive impact on every student you worked with as a counselor and a coach. Frank J. Hagen

Michael Keogh

April 21, 2020

Coach was a great mentor to many young men for a number of years. Coach directed many of us down the correct path, when we were rushing towards the wrong one. I was lucky enough to have played for him, be taught by him, coach with him, and to work with him getting highschoolers into The University of Delaware to play college golf.

A True Man's Man.

April 21, 2020

Coach Coder was one of the nicest people I have ever met or known. Tom was a great coach, but even a better person. Coach was a real gentleman. He meant so much to so many, and he will be dearly missed. My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family. Frank Aiello

Rick Meccariello

April 21, 2020

My sincerest condolences to the Coder family.
Tom was my high school football coach at Christiana as well as guidenance counselor. But he was more then a coach to me. Along with my dad John, who coached with Tom , he was the mentor who taught me life lessons that lasted long beyond the playing field. He was an example of how to live a life filled with faith and intergity . I was blessed to see him years later as best friends of my parents John and Elsie, , and those lessons continued for years. May he rest in peace as he joins my dad and all the other coaches in heaven.

Mark Gregg

April 21, 2020

A great loss to the CHS family. Coach Coder brought respect to Christiana and he built a dream team of coaches. I still remember running "looking for the squirrels". Rest in peace, Coach.

Mark Gregg (class of 75), Shaker Heights OH

JOHN SHAW

April 21, 2020

Dear Coder Family,
Success in life has many measures, and Coach Coder was very successful. I'm not referring to wins and losses on the football field which he certainly accomplished in his lifetime, but I'm talking about the impact he had on so many lives with which he came into contact, students, players, other coaches. Years after my years at Conrad, we still took the opportunity to come together to honor him for his impact on all of us. That is a testament to the man that he was and how his memory will live on. I'd like to express my condolences, I hope that you take comfort in the fact that he lives on in all with whom he touched.

John Shaw (Conrad '71)

susan carpenter

April 21, 2020

So sorry for your family loss
Roy & Sue Carpenter

Teresa Clark

April 21, 2020

Tom would make my day when he walked in to the Admissions Office at UD with a smile on his face and a twinkle in those blue eyes. He called me the 'other TC' and would always be joking around and laughing. He brought a smile to everyone as he made his way around campus, and I know he changed lives for the better through all of his careers. What an amazing person. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I hope it helps to know that Tom will live on through so many others, in their hearts and memories.

Marge Taggart

April 21, 2020

Tom, So sorry to hear about your Father. I thought of you and Sue recently when I was in NE shopping with a friend.
Your Father's journey to Heaven will be swift with prayers from others. Marge Taggart

Vernon Hastings

April 20, 2020

My condolences to the family of Mr. Coder. I'm an alumni of Christiana H.S. he was my guidance counselor.

Carol Kusel

April 20, 2020

It was great when the football team under Mr. Coder and Mr. Pletcher's direction, played and won. I was in the Conrad H.S. band (1960-1963), playing. The Conrad Alumni Band is still active. What a kind teacher!

Thomas Delle Donne

April 20, 2020

I remember Mr Coder from the Summer of 1979. I was transferring from St Marks to Dickinson High School and he took the time during the Summer to informally work out some of the guys. We were honored that a man with such knowledge and success would take the time to work out players from a school he did not coach for. A true gentleman, sportsman and the type of man kids truly need in today's world. Fast forward 31 years later and his son Tom Coder who was a year behind me in high school resurfaces through a common friend and we end up working together for the last 10 years. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree as Jr is also a gentleman and great guy. I am very sorry for your loss. Mr. C touched many lives and truly left his footprints in the same. All God's blessings.

Scott Hougentogler

April 20, 2020

He was a good coach plus a good counselor I had him for four years at Christiana I was a transfer from Newark but he set me straight and even talk me to play football in 77 to old I am very sorry for your lost and sending thought and prayes for the family

Patricia Plaster

April 20, 2020

Know that my heart and prayers goes out to all of you in this sad time.

Debra Nickle

April 20, 2020

Coach Coder was a very kind and understanding man. He was my guidance counselor at Christiana High School. He will be missed by many. Deepest sympathy.

Thomas Mealey

April 20, 2020

A classy guy.Former 1969 student.

Barbara Jo Apichella

April 20, 2020

Tom was a gentleman and a true competitor. I taught with his wife Charlene when she was at Newark High School. That is how I met him. He was a great guy.

Kim Habbert

April 20, 2020

Tom Coder was an amazing man as a coach, a counselor and role model. He will be truly missed, but will remain in all the hearts of those he touched so deeply. Rest now. You deserve it.

Lisa Malin

April 20, 2020

So very sorry to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to you all.

Donald Meyer

April 20, 2020

GREAT MAN, GREAT COACH, RAN MANY AN EXTRA SPRINT UNDER HIS GUIDANCE. HE WILL BE MISSED.

Kevin Casey

April 20, 2020

Coach Coder had so much in making me the man I am today, he taught me drive, ambition and what can happen if you give it your all, I was 3rd team center my junior year, coach have stopped believing in me, went on to earn a 1977 state championship my senior year and started every game, thanks coach for everything...RIP

Mary Graff

April 20, 2020

Rest in peace Mr. Coder. You were a great teacher but more importantly a great person.

Monica Mousley(Woodward)

April 20, 2020

My first meeting with Tom was early 70's when he was the coach and my brother was the football manager and I met him at McDonalds and said to him,So you are the man that works for my brother. He just smiled and laughed and said yes. Both of my parents worked at CHS also

Glenn Moore

April 20, 2020

Very sad news. I visited him a couple years ago after his stroke. It was difficult to see my hero like this. He coached me to be the very best I could be. He believed in me and gave me a chance to play that I will always be thankful for. Years later I would model my coaching philosophy after all I learned from him and any success I had was because of him.

Frank Vari

April 20, 2020

I am so sorry for your loss, my condolences for the family, prayers are being said.

Donna Meidling Pollock, Class of 68

April 20, 2020

Sincere condolences to the family and friends of a very special guy. Mr. Coder was my wonderful math teacher at Conrad, and a great friend later in life; always a positive spirit, encouraging others, Tom was a friend to all - always a smile with those blue twinkling eyes. He is part of so many wonderful Conrad memories! May the Lord's gentle hand be upon you.

Renie Poole

April 20, 2020

Jodi, Jack, and families. I'm sad to hear your dad as passed on, but glad for him. I remember him from when he would come to Trinity. It is unfortunate that you can't feel the hugs of all of us who want to share your burden right now. Here's a virtual hug for you.

Jack Cunningham

April 20, 2020

The word "coach" with all that it implies is too small a word to capture a man who has been so much, to so many, for so long. I will miss coach, but miss my friend so much more. Praying that God grant you his peace in this impossibly difficult time.

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