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Reverend Allan House O'Neil

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Allan O'Neil Obituary

O'NEIL, Reverend Allan House The Reverend Allan House O'Neil, Rector Emeritus of St. John's Episcopal Church in West Hartford, a priest who wanted to be remembered as one who "did what he could" entered into his eternal life on Thursday (December 7, 2006) at the Hughes Home in West Hartford. He was 81. Born in Barre, VT, son of the late Mildred House and Brooks Emerson O'Neil. He is survived by his wife, of 55 years, Ruth Kayser O'Neil, and their two sons, Allan House O'Neil, II of Los Angeles, CA and Brooks Gregory O'Neil and his wife, Patricia, of Edina, Minnesota. Also surviving are three nephews, Roderick, Peter, and Gregory; a niece, Cynthia, Thomas K. Sager; and eight grandchildren, Taylor, Charles, Kaitlin, Patrick, Chelsea, Tucker, Meghan, and Michael. He was predeceased by his brother, Howard B. O'Neil and his wife, Elaine. Mr. O'Neil was Rector of St. John's from 1975 until 1990. This was a transition time for the national church and Mr. O'Neil cultivated a friendlier and more welcoming parish at St. John's during his tenure. He oversaw the initiation of the Episcopal Church's new prayer book in 1979 and facilitated much broader inclusion of lay members, including women, in the administration of the parish and worship services. In 1980 he went on sabbatical to Auckland, New Zealand to work with The Reverend Peter Beck in his inner city ministry. He also led a major capital and renovation project for the church's physical structure in the early 1980s. While Mr. O'Neil enjoyed 15 wonderful years at St. John's, many of the highpoints of his life occurred while he was rector at St. Andrews, Meriden, where he served from 1960-1975. During those years he was at the forefront of the ecumenical movement, worked tirelessly for the cause of the poor and the homeless, and brought his ministry to the broader community as well as his parish. Originally from Montpelier, VT, Mr. O'Neil attended the University of New Hampshire. His studies were interrupted by service overseas in the U.S. Navy during World War II. After the war, he returned to UNH where he was awarded a Bachelor of Science degree in mathematics. Following graduation, Mr. O'Neil accepted a job working in computers for Raytheon in Cambridge, MA. While in Cambridge, he met and married the former Ruth Kayser, who was working for American Airlines at the time. Rather than computers, at Raytheon Mr. O'Neil found himself involved in the problems of people with whom he was working. He wanted to help people relate well with each other. Recognizing he needed a framework and some training to adequately address people's needs, he left Raytheon and began studying for the ministry at The Episcopal Theological School in Cambridge, MA. Upon becoming ordained, Mr. O'Neil served as a curate in Springfield, OH and as rector of St. James church in Piqua, OH. The O'Neil's were called to Meriden in 1960. In Meriden, a town dominated by Roman Catholics, Mr. O'Neil established an ecumenical council to further the cause of understanding between churches. In May 1964, O'Neil opened the doors of St. Andrews to Richard Cardinal Cushing, the Roman Catholic leader of the Boston Archdiocese. This was the first time a Roman Catholic prelate left his prelature and preached in a Protestant parish. Due to the message of his ministry, the O'Neils traveled around the world on sabbatical. In 1973, while in Rome, the couple had an audience with Pope Paul VI, where they presented the pontiff with a silver chalice, made by the International Silver Company of Meriden, engraved with the words, "that we all may be one." They also went to Istanbul where they met the Patriarch of Constantinople. Beyond the cause of ecumenism, Mr. O'Neil was supportive of the needs of the poor and disadvantaged. On August 28, 1963 he and a small group of other clergy from Meriden attended the Jobs and Freedom march in Washington D.C. during which Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his famous "I Have a Dream," speech. In 1968 he also became the legal guardian for Thomas K. Sager, a member of the parish who had lost both of his parents to illness. In addition to his duties at the church, Mr. O'Neil was a vital member of the Greater Meriden community and served as Chairman of the School Board, Chaplain to the local police department and the Connecticut State Police, and was a director of Meriden Hospital. He also served as Chaplain to the Curtis Home, which provided services to homeless children and elderly persons. Mr. O'Neil was an accomplished preacher, celebrated mass with great feeling and loved classical church music. While in Meriden, he convinced Ralph Valentine, instructor of music at Choate Rosemary Hall, to become organist and choirmaster at St. Andrews. The two formed a marvelous partnership that continued during O'Neil's entire tenure in West Hartford. Sunday services consisted of compelling preaching and glorious selections from the world's greatest composers. Married for 55 years, Allan and Ruth also formed a wonderful duo and together served the needs of the parish, the community, their friends and their family. Mr. O'Neil's ashes will be interred in the Cloister garden at St. John's, a tradition he started during his tenure as rector there. A memorial service will be held on December 16th at 11:30 a.m. at St. John's Episcopal Church, 679 Farmington Ave. West Hartford. Presiding will be the Right Reverend Clarence Coleridge, retired Bishop of Connecticut, The Right Reverend Kirk Smith, Bishop of Arizona, and the Reverend Joseph Pace, Rector of St. John's. In lieu of flowers, a donation may be made in memory of the deceased, to the American Cancer Society, 538 Preston Avenue, Meriden, CT 06450 or to St. John's Episcopal Church, 679 Farmington Ave., West Hartford, CT 06119. The James T. Pratt Funeral Service, Wethersfield is entrusted with the arrangements.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by Hartford Courant on Dec. 9, 2006.

Memories and Condolences
for Allan O'Neil

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Peter Beck

January 19, 2007

Dear Ruthie, Lanny and Brooks,
We lost contact too many years ago, but Allan and all of you are often in my thoughts and prayers. Allan had a great impact on me from the time we met at VTS in 1975 and developed a strong friendship. The generosity of the O'Neils in welcoming this young English priest was phenomenal. The 21 lunch and dinner engagements in 14 days that Gay and I enjoyed when Allan was the new Rector of St John's are full of fond memories! And of course the time of his sabbatical here in New Zealand, which included a little trout fishing at Lake Taupo! We had some good times, often with fine wine, great food and stimulating company. Allan was a generous and caring priest, a fine pastor and a good friend. I treasure the times we spent with both Allan and Ruthie, and am grateful to have known him. I'm sure he will be adding his own inimitable wit and good humour to the heavenly banquet. May he rest in peace. Arohanui

Rev. Dr. Robert M. Stocksdale

December 15, 2006

Dear Ruth & family, You are being held closely in the hearts and minds of the folks at St. Andrew's. The memories of Allan run wide and deep as he touched the lives of so many people in so many ways. Please know that you are in our prayers. In God's peace, Fr. Bob Stocksdale+, Rector of St. Andrew's, Meriden.

Karen Ferranti

December 14, 2006

Dear Allan, I was sadden to see of your dad's passing. I wish you and your family wonderful memories to soften your pain. Your fathers life accomplishments are nothing less than incredible. With love, Karen (Wunsch) Ferranti

Maura Kennedy

December 12, 2006

Dear Ruth, Lanny and Brooks,
Dad sent me the notice down in Birmingham and I wanted to express my sympathy. I have such warm memories of Father O'Neil and your family and feel honored to have known him. (And I still think of him from time to time when I answer, "fine, thank you" too!) I still remember attending mass at St. Andrews as a very young Catholic and thinking how similar our churches were (although they didn't get all the prayers quite right...) I know, too, how much my father cherished their friendship.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Maura Kennedy

Susan Parker Morgan

December 12, 2006

My sincere sympathy to the O'Neil family. As a former St. Andrew's parishoner in Meriden, I remember Mr. O'Neil's kindness and great spirit. He touched many lives.

Thomas Kennedy

December 11, 2006

Dear Ruth, Lanny,and Brooks, After all the years I know I'll never forget Father O'Neil. The Jets superbowl win at your house in Meriden, hiking Mt Higby in the dead of winter with his black lab and me, and answering the door at our home "I am fine Father , and how are you" (only after months of practice did my siblings and I perform this ritual correctly!). All the Best Tom Kennedy Jr

Ethel Fried

December 11, 2006

Dear Ruth, I was so sad to learn of Allan's death Saturday and you have been in my thoughts since then. I will never forget how kind both of you were to me when my husband died. Love, Ethel

Pete and Barb Rodgers

December 9, 2006

The world and the O'Neil family have lost a rare and good person. Though we only shared limited time with "Uncle Allen" his warmth and family spirit always seemed to bless all those present. He will be missed by all whose lives he touched.

Michael Granucci

December 9, 2006

Ruth, Lan and Brooks:
Lynn and I send you our love. As I said to Ruth when she called on Thursday, Allan was and always will be the most significant man in my life. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to tell him that enough, but I am happy that I was able to spend some time with him during the last several months. We will see you next Saturday.
Michael Granucci

David Sturges

December 9, 2006

I am among the many whose lives were touched by Allan. His devoted service as a parish priest serves as an example for those advancing ecomunical and pastoral strengths in church work. His initiatives helped personify the forward reach of the Episcopal Church.

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