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Joshua Welch Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Joshua Welch
Sponsored by Barbara Hoffart, Grandmother of Josh .
Wendy Tise
November 22, 2020
Was thinking of you three. Miss ya Smile! Still - Miss Wendy
Kelly Scott
December 13, 2016
Always, sweet boy-
Merry Christmas.
Colleen Kromer
October 6, 2016
<3
Jerrod Core
June 24, 2010
Still thinkin' about you, bud! I have a baby girl on the way in a couple more weeks...sure wish you could ahve been around for that. I hope to be as good of a parent as the ones that we both had!
Barbara Hoffart
April 28, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH! Love ya', Mamaw
Barbara Hoffart
April 28, 2010
Josh...I can't believe that you would have been 31 yrs. old today! By now, you probably would have been a husband and a daddy...what a waste for someone to be taken from us at such a young age. You had so much to give to the world...you touched so many lives in the short time that you were here. You were so loved and are missed so much. Please watch over your Mom as she is going thru some tough times right now. Love ya'
March 26, 2010
Josh,
Just had the urge to let you know that you are on my mind daily. Your smile and your laughter never seem to go far from my mind. You are terribly missed by so many. So many, "I wonders" cross my mind all the time.
Last year was a rough year for me and this year really hasn't been any easier. When I often think of your smile it makes my heart smile. I know that you are with the Lord and many others that have passed on.
Please tell my Daddy that I love and miss him very much. I know you you guys are having a ball up there.
I just felt the need urge to write today.
We love you and miss you dearly!
Love,
Michala
December 14, 2009
Josh,
It's a tough week, with the anniversary of your dad and Cody's death.
Jon's never really been able to celebrate his birthday with all the tragedy that occurred on it. So much sadness.
We all miss you terribly. Jon and Matt are still struggling to find their feet. I guess we all are.
I visited the cemetery yesterday and took Christmas flowers. The graves were a mess from all the rain. I spent a lot of time scrubbing them. I'm sure your dad gets a big kick out of me cleaning up for him. Actually, it makes me smile as well.
The holidays are hard without you. I cry if I hang your stocking and I cry if I don't hang it. There are no easy ways to deal with your void.
I pray that you are at peace and the sign of the white birds always bring my answer. I don't see them as often, but they show up at the perfect time.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed with it all and then I remember to give it to God. He sustains me.
Merry Christmas, my precious son.
Love you,
Mom
Gary Fisher
December 13, 2009
Hey Kiddo,
We will miss you always. All of stuff you, Ryan, and the Windfern bunch would do, I'll never forget. You'll always be in my memories. I miss you.
December 13, 2009
Hi Josh...wish I could see your smiling face again. It's that time of year when family is so important and I miss everyone that is no longer here so much. Your presence is so missed. Life just hasn't been the same without you here. That void forever stands out...no one else has taken center stage but it's apparent that place belongs to you. I know that you and your Dad and your Papaw and your Great Grandmother will all be together for Christmas and we will be thinking of all of you and wishing you were here with us. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
I love you,
Mamaw
Jerrod Core
June 25, 2009
Hey bud....still think about you and wish we still had you around!
Michala McLean
June 9, 2008
Josh,
I still think of you often. You are truly missed by so many...It is hard to believe that next weekend will be 6 years that you have been gone...So much has changed since you have been gone, but one thing still remains so vivid in my mind.....that beautiful smile!....I still remember the couple last conversations we had and they still stand out so fresh in my mind and memories...You will continue to be missed and your memory will always and forever live on....Miss you tons!!!
Love,
Michala
Jerrod Core
June 25, 2007
Josh -
Wow - 5 years. I wish you could be here these days! I play in a church softball league, and it always makes me think how hard you would be laughing at my horrible play, because I know how good you were at softball. (How about a little help next game, eh??) It's great that I can still laugh just by thinking about you making fun of me, just like back in the days on Brookside Forest. I miss those days, buddy. Take care.
Michala McLean
June 15, 2007
Josh,
I can't believe it has been 5 years since you have been gone. You are dearly missed by so many. I think about you often and pray for your family everyday. Your contagious smile and funny sense of humor run through my mind daily. Keep your head held high and smile think you always use to. I will continue to remember all the memories we shared. You and your family will always be in my heart, thoughts, and prayers...Miss you!
Michala McLean
Barbara Hoffart
April 28, 2007
Hi Josh...I can't believe that you would have been 28 years old today. I will never forget the day that you were born. I can still see your father leaping about 4 ft. high from the hallway into the waiting room where all of the relatives were anxiously waiting for your father to let us know what you were and when his feet finally landed inside the waiting room, he was grinning from ear to ear and he said "it's a boy and he's a 10". We all laughed and we finally found out that the doctor really had graded you a "10". Little did we know that you would certainly live up to that prediction. I went to the cemetary today and took flowers for you. I put some beautiful red roses on yours and your father's markers. It was a special day for Jud too because he fathered you and without him, we wouldn't have had you. Both of you were two very special people and I still find it hard to believe that you are both gone. Seems like only yesterday that you and I had lunch at Luby's. I cherish those times and I thank God for the short time that we had you. I miss your laughter and that beautiful smile. Jon is going to start to real estate school this coming week and he is really excited about that. You would be really proud of him that he has finally focused on something that he wants to do. I know that he will do well in that field because he has such a magnetic personality...just like you and Jud. Well I'm going to sign off for now because it is getting late and your Mamaw is tired and ready to go to bed. I will have a birthday next week and I wish you could be here to aggravate me about how old I am getting to be. But I still have those wooden spoons that I use to use on your behind when you needed it...I can still hear you running and screaming when I would get after you with one and you would pretend you were crying before I ever touched you with it. You were such a mess and you left behind a lot of wonderful memories. Happy Birthday Josh! I love you and miss you.
Love you,
Mamaw
Denise Hall
November 22, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful that God put you in my life!
Jerrod Core
October 30, 2006
Hey Josh -
Man, I wish you could have been around a couple weeks ago. I got married, and I sure would have liked to have had you there standing up with all the other groomsmen. I always figured you would be there on that day, but I'm sure you were in your own way. It would have been fun though, to have you there with the other guys. I'm sure you could have come up with more than your share of embarrasing stories about me, as plenty of those got shared during the week of the wedding. Well... I was just thinking of you, man. I've missed you being around here in Houston since I have been back, but I know you are in a much better place. You and your family are still in my prayers. Take care, bud.
Denise Hall
October 13, 2006
~thinking about you always
love, denise
April 24, 2006
hey josh whats been up well its been pretty hard these days especially since your b days comin up. well i saw that nobody had talked to u in a while so i dropped by to give you some company. awwwwww man schools been hard. especially history because theres tomany things to remember. Well i got to go buddy ill drop by on friday to tell you happy b day k. i love you bro 4ever may you be in peace
Michala McLean
February 7, 2006
Josh,
Memories of you cross my mind everyday... Just wanted to let you know that you are missed dearly by so many people... You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers...You are still my #1!!!! Love You Always...
Love Always,
Michala
Matt Scott
January 7, 2006
hey josh its matt man its been pretty hard without you. Im supposed to be doing my history report but i think it can wait. Espeacually this Christmas because my uncle Rich died on christmas eve and it's been real hard for John so can you send your prayers to him because it's only him and his siter now. Yea i was just lookin for a site in my moms history snd your name popped up so i clicked on it and here you are. Hey will you do me a favor? Will you give my mom a sign that your ok because im worried about her she not doing to good without you. Well hey I got to go but i just wanted to stop by and say i missed ya' Puma. alright bye.
Barbara Hoffart
December 28, 2005
Hi Josh...I have had you on my mind throughout the holidays. Christmas has never been the same since you were taken from us. I went to the cemetary to see you on Christmas Eve. It was such a beautiful day and I just loved sitting on the bench there and reminising about you and all the joy that you brought to me and everyone who knew you. The poinsettas that Coco put in your and Jud's vases are just beautiful and they were just dancing in the sunlight. They seemed to exult the wonderful personality and disposition that you and your father had...always happy and laughing everywhere you went. It's no wonder that the two of you touched so many lives in the short years that you were here. It still seems unbelievable that you are both gone but the laughter still lives in my heart. I still miss you terribly. I will never forget the night that you were born and we finally had a boy in the family...your Papaw was on cloud nine. Little did he know that there would be 4 more wonderful grandsons to follow. When a parent becomes a grandparent, they find out why grandchildren are called "grand". I know that you are with your Papaw now as well as your Dad and other grandparents and that you all had a glorius Christmas. I will miss you all forever.
Denise Hall
December 21, 2005
Josh!
Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!
I know your having a great time!!!
Love You,
Denise
Denise Hall
September 10, 2005
Hey Josh!
I wish you were here cause there are so many things on my mind that I need to tell you but I cant. I’m so thankful for the lives that you have changed and continuously still do. I miss you dearly and love you always. Talk to you later...
Jerrod Core
June 17, 2005
Hey man -
Wow, three years have gone by. Just yesterday I had opened up a picture that your mom sent me on e-mail...and then I looked down and realized what day it was. I thought that was more than a coincidence. Anyway man - you are still missed and thought about all the time. See you someday.
Michala McLean
June 16, 2005
Josh,
I can't believe it has been 3 years since you've been gone. There has been so many changes that have gone on throughout the years. You are definately missed by so many. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Michala McLean
Denise Hall
May 6, 2005
Josh~
Happy Belated Birthday! I know you had a good one! Just thinking about you and wanted to say Hi.
Love you,
Denise
Debbie Haverland
May 2, 2005
Josh,
I know you probably had a great birthday. I'll be sending your card to Jon since he said he would take all gifts for you. I'm sure you won't mind. I miss you so much. I know it won't be long and we ALL be together. Give your dad and Cody a hug for me. I love you, Josh. I look back at your baby pictures and you were sooooo cute. Those big brown eyes and that big smile. I'll never forget it. It makes me smile to think about it. It's hard to believe that we are coming upon the 3 year mark. Love you so much..Aunt Debbie
Jon Welch
April 28, 2005
Happy B-Day Brother. Its too bad that your not here because I was really going to buy you something this year. I guess I will just buy myself something. For everyone that would like to buy Josh something for his birthday I will be accepting all gifts in his absence. I cant wait to see you because I owe you alot of birthday licks. Cody, you can give my birthday hits to Josh for me. Well I have to leave work now. Do me one favor and put a good word in to God for the Houston Rockets. They have a game tonight. Love Ya. Jon
P.S. Im still better looking than you. Jon
Grace F.
April 28, 2005
I just wanted to wish you A Happy Birthday.
Miss ya, and love ya!
your friend ALWAYS!
Michala McLean
February 11, 2005
Josh,
Lately you have been heavy on my mind. Your smile, your laughter, your kindness, your courage, your love, your family and so much more. I can't beleive that it is going on 3 years since you've been gone. Josh, you are missed by so many. I know that you are not physically here for us to touch and to hold, but you are definately in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers. You have changed so many peoples lives including myself. Wow, what an inspiration you are. You have opened many doors for so many people, new and old friends. Josh, I will forever cherish all the memories we shared together. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Remember who loves.
Love,
Michala (Wody Johnson)
Debbie Haverland
December 16, 2004
Hey, Josh.
Can you believe it has been 2 years since your dad and Cody came to be with you in Heaven? In some ways it seems like just yesterday, but in others it seems like it has been forever since I have seen all of you. I miss you and love you so much. You, your dad and Cody stay on my mind most of the time. I missed you all so much Thanksgiving. Jon came and he reminds me so much of you and your dad. Save a place for me because it won't be long and I'll be right there with you enjoying life in a perfect world (Heaven) It seems like forever from now, but then it will seem like such a short time. I need hugs from you. I love you.. Aunt Debbie
kimsa
December 14, 2004
Michala
I came across this not too long ago and immediately thought of Josh and just wanted to share it with you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
>with tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.
>The sight is so spectacular ! Please wipe away that tear,
>for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
>
>I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
>but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas
>choir up here. I have no words to tell you the joy their voices
>bring, for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.
>
>I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your
>heart, even though I am so far away, we really aren't apart.
>So, be happy for me, loved ones. You know I hold you dear.
>Be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
>
>I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above.
>I send you each a memory of my undying love. After all,
>"LOVE" is the gift more precious than gold. It was always
>most important in the stories Jesus told.
>
>Please love and keep each other, as my father said to do, for
>I can't count the blessings or the love He has for you.
>
>So, have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear!
>Remember, I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
Author Unknown
Michala McLean
November 20, 2004
Josh,
The time of year has come again. You are thought about and missed by so many each and everyday. Please watch over all of your loved ones through the holidays, we will definately be thinking of you. I hope Santa brings you tons of gift, as you deserve them. You will continue to be in my prayers and always in my heart. Love you and miss you.
Love Always,
Michala
Debbie Haverland
November 11, 2004
Hey Josh,
I am thinking about you always and missing you so much. With Thanksgiving coming up, you will surely be thought of a great deal that day. I'm thankful that you have found your eternal home in Heaven. I love you...Aunt Debbie
Denise Hall
November 10, 2004
Just thinking about you always!!
Love you and miss you!! D
Jennifer Felcman
August 12, 2004
Our prayers continue. May you all continue to find peace and comfort.
Jerrod Core
August 9, 2004
Josh,
Hey bud...I finally made it back to Houston. I'm glad to finally be living/working back in the town where we grew up...sure wish you were still here to hang out with. H-town is not the same without you. I think about you often...you, Cody, and Jud better save me a spot on your baseball team in Heaven. Love you man.
Jerrod
Michala McLean
June 15, 2004
Josh,
It's been 2 years since you left us. You and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I will forever cherish all the special memories we shared together. We all miss you and love you!
Love Always,
Michala McLean
Michala McLean
June 5, 2004
Josh,
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. You will never be forgotten. Life has gone on but the memories are still alive.
Love Always,
Michala
Debbie Haverland
April 28, 2004
Happy Birthday Josh. I still miss you so much, but I have all the memories of those great big beautiful brown eyes and those big cheeks with that wide smile. You were such a cute baby. I'll never forget the day you were born. With a mom and dad like yours, you had to turn out handsome. You did alright. Your dad would not let us touch you unless we washed our hands with "special" soap and then he still wasn't sure. He didn't want anyone to let you get sick. I love you, Josh and very soon, we'll all be together in Heaven and none of this sorrow will be evident...only joy. Have a great day and give your dad a really big hug for me.
Love you bunches,
Aunt Debbie
Grace
April 28, 2004
Well Happy Birthday Josh! I wish you were here with your family and loved ones to celebrate. I'm sure your are in Heaven. Well I just celebrated my 28th birthday on Friday. It was great but I was missing my mom the most, My mom too is in Heaven Josh, not sure if you have met, but if you see her tell her I miss her and love her.(Thank You). Happy Birthday!!!!!!! XOXOXO
Michala McLean
April 27, 2004
Josh,
The time of year has come again. Your Birthday. I can't beleive it has been almost two years since you left us. At times, the reality slaps me in the face. Where has the time gone. I sit here today and think how much my life as changed since you have been gone. I don't hold back a hug, an I Love you, a Hi or a Bye. Even though I have moved on, I continue to remember your beautiful smiling face each and every day. I wish I could go back two years ago. Life is flying by and so much has happened since your death. Friends and Family always remembering you and the way you have touched and changed so many peoples lives. I don't regret anything Josh. I would not of changed one thing in our relationship, "YOU WERE THE ONE." I pray that you have a wonderful Birthday in Heaven, and remember that we all miss you very much. I will say a little prayer tonight just for you. Happy Birthday Josh!
Love Always,
Michala
Kelly,
I can't even begin to tell you how much I Love you. You are my inspiration. You have made me as strong and as solid as your are. You have been there for me through all of my darkest moments, and I want to Thank you for everything you have given me and done for me. You are such an awesome person. I promise you, I will love like I've never been hurt. I will always remember Josh, and the wonderful person that he was. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Remember, that I Love you and am always here for you.
Love Always,
Michala
April 21, 2004
I miss you and I love you Josh. Sorry its taken so long for me to write this. It was the hardest thing to believe, for me. I wish you knew how much you meant to me.
Debbie Haverland
April 17, 2004
Well, Josh, I can't believe you are about to have another biirthday, but I'm sure they may call it something else in Heaven. Hopefully they have plenty of cake to eat. I sure miss you and I know everyone else in the family does, too, b/c we talk about you all the time. Aunt Becky has just about put up a shrine on her walls with pictures of you, your dad and Cody. You were just a cute little baby with those big beautiful eyes and sweet smile. I guess you always had those same features. I love you and will write again later.
Aunt Debbie
April 15, 2004
Today is not just the last day to file our taxes, but just wanted to drop by and let you know that my family andI still think of you and you continue to be in our prayers.
Debbie Haverland
February 19, 2004
Hey Josh,
Just thinking about you and wanted to say hi. I know you must hear me all the time when I'm talking to you and your dad. I still miss you both very much. I went to the cemetery last weekend and your flowers were beautiful. Your Aunt Cozette did that. She is really good. They all miss you, too. I love you and just wanted to say hi. Aunt Debbie
Michala McLean
February 18, 2004
Josh,
Loving you and missing you always!
Love,
Michala
Mark Turner
January 22, 2004
I was sitting here in my office today and trying to figure out what I needed to do next and for some reason I started thinking about Josh. I remember hearing about this page and had never read it so I decided to look it up. Well it has made me sad all over again, not so much for Josh but for all of the family. Josh is fine, I know that. He is in heaven having a great time. I dont have a lot of memories
of Josh from his high school days but I do have a few from when he was younger. The one that sticks out the most and I dont know why was I believe at a family reunion when he was about 10. Josh, my brother and my two boys all got toghether and begin playing baseball toghether. I was amazed at how atheletic he was. I was pitching to him and I could throw nothing by him. He hit everything I threw. Here I was 30 years old and this 10 year old was hitting me like Jeff Bagwell. He was truly a gifted kid. I read an article a few years ago about whether there will be "Baseball in Heaven". I hope there is because I want another chance at trying to throw one by him. I will probably fail but I look forward to trying again. Kelly if you read this, we love you. Don't be a stranger. Call me some time.
Michala McLean
December 19, 2003
Dear Josh,
The time of year has come again. The hustle and bustle of shopping and stressing out about Christmas and the new year coming. The pain still so deep but accepting now. I think back over the past year and half and think how far I've come. I am so thankful for all my family and friends that have been there for me through my rough times. They mean so much to me.
As I sit here at my desk looking at your picture and remembering all the smiles, the laughs, the kisses, the hugs, the softball games, the movie nights, the arguments you and Rob use to get into over who's going to wash the dishes, and so many more memories I could go on and on. They stand out so fresh in my memory it feels like yesterday. But, I now know that tommorrow is not promised to us, and we have to live each day to the fullest as you did Josh. You know, I think back to the last two weeks of you here on earth and it seemed as if you knew your time was limited. The questions you would ask me, the feeling I got in your presents, it was just so weird. It felt like everything was in slow motion. But..... all of these things are least important now. The most important thing to me is that you are definately in a better place and I thank God everyday that you didn't suffer. Even though I want you here with me that would be so selfish of me to wish something that I know would be painful to me and all of your loved ones. So, I will continue my life and hold you close to my heart and keep your memory alive. Josh, you were "THE ONE." I will remember all the precious memories we had together, but until we meet again, I love you dearly and miss you.
Love Always,
Michala McLean (Wody Johnson)
Michala McLean
December 9, 2003
Josh,
Thinking of you and missing your beautiful smiling face each and everyday. Yes, they say time heals all wounds. I guess that's true, but, the loving memories we shared together are sometimes painful and hard to bare. In the short time we were together you opened so many doors for me. I met so many of your friends who are now my friends who I love and cherish their friendship. Their words and encouragement throughout the past year and half have definately helped me in so many ways. I continue my life, but I can definately tell you I have a totally different outlook on life itself. Josh, you are deeply missed everyday by so many people that love you. You will always hold that special place in my heart. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Loving and missing you loads.
Michala
Marlynda Williams
November 28, 2003
Well we made it through Thanksgiving...We all went to Uncle Randy's in Atlanta...It was a long drive but we had a great time...We watched old family movies...You and your dad were the stars...We had a lot of laughs but no one dared cry...I was glad we all got together but it was so different without ya'll there...You are so missed...Jason cooked green bean casserole this year and Becca cooked the dumplings you would have been proud...we were...I Love and Miss you...Marlynda
Michala McLean
November 11, 2003
Josh,
Loving you always and forever!!!
Michala
Debbie Haverland
October 21, 2003
Hey, Josh
I sure do miss you. I love you so much. Thanksgiving is coming up and we just can't face the old tradition by having it at Aunt Becky's house. You, your dad and Cody will be so obviously missing, so we are going to Uncle Randy's. I know it will still be sad, but he has so much room at his house, we'll just "pretend" your in the other room, when actually you'll be in our hearts. I love and miss you and you will forever be in my heart. Love, Aunt Debbie
Michala McLean
October 16, 2003
Josh,
Thinking about you always. Loving you and missing you forever.
Love,
Michala
Jerrod Core
August 31, 2003
Hey bud,
I've been in Houston most of this week on vacation, and I sure wish you had been here to hang out with. Coming back to the house on Brookside will always bring up memories of growing up with you, and I just wanted to say thanks for all of them. Talking to Jon, your Mom, and Tammy since you left us makes me proud to see how all of them have let alot of positives come out of your being gone. I know it has helped me realize that I don't have time to waste the blessings that have been given throughout my life, because you never know when your time is up. Anyway, I just wanted to say that you still are in my thoughts and memories, as you will always be. Thanks for being a great friend...see you someday!
Jerrod
Chrissy Hoffart
August 29, 2003
I don't know if this was already in here, but It's so good deserves it twice... this is for Michalea, Jon, Kelly, and all of Josh's close family and friends...
When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through Heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you.
Today your life on earth is past,
but here life starts anew.
"I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same way
there's no longing for the past.
"You have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times
you did some things
you knew you shouldn't do.
"But you have been forgiven
and now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
and share your life with me."
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don’t think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart
Michala McLean
August 26, 2003
Josh,
Thinking of all the laughs, the smiles, the jokes, the love brings a continues smile on my face. You were such an inspiration in so many peoples lives. I was always so proud of you in everything that you did. Oh, what I would do to have you back here in my arms once again. The past week I have really been thinking about the Holidays rolling around the corner. What a sad time for everybody. Who's going to be the center of attention. Yes, I know you will be. Your still the center of attention in my conversations. Josh, you are greatly missed everyday. We continue to keep your memory alive and love you always.
Love Always,
Michala
Marlynda Williams
August 23, 2003
Well I haven't written here before because I just didn't know what to say. I really miss you a lot and I am having a lot of trouble looking forward to Thanksgiving. It is just not going to be the same without you there to pick on me. It was really hard last year but I know this year is going to be harder. I miss you a lot. I wish we could have been closer. But I do hope that you knew how much I looked up to you. You were a great role model. You changed my life in a lot of ways.
Michala McLean
August 13, 2003
Josh,
Your constantly on my mind. Missing you and loving you always.
Love You,
Michala
August 8, 2003
Thinking of you and your family...
You may be gone, but will never be forgotten.
Jennifer Bradley
July 30, 2003
Our daily prayers remain with you all.
Michala McLean
July 20, 2003
Josh,
I am here at working thinking deeply about you. Wondering what happened. Why am I question? I am in a weird mood today. I got up this morning in a good mood, went to church enjoyed the service, came to work and my mood totally changed. I don't know weather I want to laugh, cry, crawl in a hole or what. As the days go by and the older I get I feel further away from you. I feel like I am leaving you behind. I feel like I need to wait. But......what am I waiting for? This is so final! Why am I feeling this way? There is nobody out there that equals to you. I want to eventually find you again. I know, it's not going to happen until we are together in heaven. Will you recognize me, will I recognize you. Wow, I wonder what it's going to be like. Your so close, but so far away. Like your mom says reality slaps you in the face.
Jon, Shane, and I went to Missy and Jeff's wedding. The wedding was beautiful. Where were you Josh? I actually caught myself several times looking for you. Of course, Jon cracking his jokes always makes me feel better. Jon reminds me so much of you. Looking at him and talking to him brings tears to my eyes from time to time. But, I know your always there to dry them up. I am missing you so much Josh the pain and wondering what could of been just eats me up sometimes. But, then I have to get myself together and ask myself, "What would Josh want me to do." And I know exactly what that answer is so why not act on it. I promise I will keep trucking along with my head held up high with a smile on my face just for you my love. You will continue to be in my heart always. Remember, keep your eyes on all your loved ones and keep them safe. Everybody misses you terribly. Until we meet again..........I love you!!!
Love Always,
Michala McLean (Wody Johnson)
Michala McLean
July 5, 2003
Josh,
Well, July 4th past. I remember last July 4th we went to Toc and had a great time. Another Holiday alone missing you. I bet you popped all kinds of fireworks with your Dad and Cody, huh. Reality kicks in more and more as the days go by. The pain still so deep. The days feel like there getting longer and more drawn out. I have no other choice but to gone on with my life and keep you close to my heart. But.... Sometimes I feel I am keeping you too close because I won't open myself for new opportunities. It's hard Josh. I have a hard time understanding death and why things happen the way they do. Since you have been gone my outlook on life has changed tremendously. Of course for the better. In certain situations or decisions I make I tend to ask myself, "What would Josh do." You were so uplifting and positive all the time. Not to mention your personality and your good looks. I know, I know your eat'n all this up you love the attention. Watch over all your loved ones and continue to shine bright in the skies. Loads of love from me to you.
Love Always,
Michala McLean (Wody Johnson)
Shannon Gray
June 16, 2003
It is hard to believe it has been a year. I will never forget the day you entered heaven, it was my wedding day. I didn't find out until I returned from my honeymoon, but I remember not knowing why my brother Nick McMullen, and friends Steve Brooks and Gerard Doyle were so upset. They didn't want to tell me until I returned.
Josh was a really truly remarkable person. I was a year younger than him in school, but the classes I shared with him were always eventful.
Each year I celebrate my anniversary I will know that Josh is celebrating another anniversary in heaven. On April 28th, this year, Josh's birthday, I gave birth to my daughter Kylie. I am honored that she shares that special day with Josh, and maybe it was a sign from God. If my daughter turns out to be half the person Josh was, I will be truly honored. So as these two important days come each year I will always remember that I share them with Josh. The McMullen and Gray families will always have you in our prayers.
Shannon (McMullen) Gray
Mom
June 15, 2003
JOSH – THE YEAR ANNIVERSARY
6/15/03
On the day Josh was born…my father gnawed at his fingernails and paced the halls of the hospital, waiting for the arrival of his first grandchild. What a day of joy, to hold Josh in his arms…now, my father is in heaven.
On the day Josh was born…his father grinned from ear to ear, bursting with pride when he saw his firstborn son. He could not wait to show Josh off, watch him grow up…now, his father is in heaven.
On the day Josh was born…he squinted your eyes and gazed out at the world in front of him. So much life to live, so many things to experience, so many people to meet. He never wanted to waste a moment…now, you, Josh, are in heaven.
One year ago today, we laid him tenderly in the warm June earth. The sun was shining and the grass was growing. Everything around Josh was full of life, but him. We buried part of ourselves on June 15, 2002. We buried the person that we were, along with Josh. Something huge is over in our lives.
So many tears have been shed. So many lives have been changed. Look inside. Search yourself today. Look at the people around you and think about the relationships you have strengthened and the relationships you have formed in the past year. Think about how Josh’s death has changed you.
We are an unlikely group of friends and family, bonded by tragedy. We belong to the club no one wants to join. We remember Josh full of life. We remember Josh’s lifeless body. We remember Josh’s laughter. We remember our tears. We remember Josh’s love. We remember our pain. It’s what sets us apart from the untouched world, giving us an edge on existing. We know how important the right choices are in life, we take the time to stop and smell the flowers, we tell others we love them daily.
We looked at the world through Josh’s tears and we’ve seen things we could never see before.
Life goes on, time waits for no one. Death is the other side of life. So many lives were changed with Josh’s birth. So many beginnings were started. So much love began to flow. Losing him has not changed that, for the love surrounding him is strong, an emotion that will not die. Death is the other side of life and his does not stop the momentum, instead it strengthens and fuels the lives of those around you.
Josh, we know secretly that you are pleased with the impact you made. We have grown. We have learned. We have changed. We still have far to go, but we carry your legacy in our hearts. Josh, you wanted so badly to impact the world, to change what was wrong and make it a better place. In your death, you have ultimately done just that, reaching farther than anyone can ever imagine.
On the anniversary of your death, we honor you, Josh. The circle of your life is complete. The tiny “dash” between 1979 and 2002 on your gravestone does no justice to what really occurred and the impact you made. Although it spanned only 23 years, your “dash’ was overflowing with laughter, love and life. We will carry those memories of you in our hearts forever.
Life will not go on in the same way without you. If it were the same, we could only conclude that your life meant nothing, made no contribution. The fact that you left behind a place that cannot be filled is a high tribute to the uniqueness of your soul.
We will go on living without you. We will trust each moment and look to God for all that we need. There was a purpose for your life, just as there is a purpose for our lives. Our souls know what they came here to do. We must deal with our fears and pain and let them go. Our answers will come. Our lessons will show themselves to me. We must live from a base of faith.
Prayer of Faith
We trust that beyond the absence - There is a presence
That beyond the pain - There can be a healing
That beyond the brokenness - There can be a wholeness
That beyond the anger - There may be a peace
That beyond the hurting - There may be forgiveness
That beyond the silence - There may be the Word
That beyond the Word - There may be understanding
That through understanding - There is love.
God,
Strengthen our purpose
Give us the courage needed to release the negative, harmful things around ourselves.
Let us embrace precious insights
The wisdom of our wounds
The learning in our pain
The truth within our life’s experience
May our welcome of this wisdom
Lead us forever along our journey
So we may renew our faith, revive our vision, redeem our purpose.
Show us how to relinquish control, and give it all to you
Show us how to be gentle with ourselves in this time of pain
Help us go slowly, healing at our own speed and growing by the speed of sound
Barbara Hoffart
June 14, 2003
Josh, sweetheart...tomorrow will be your first birthday in heaven. We will all be thinking of you and reminising over all the funny things you did during your 23 yrs. with us. You were such a special person and there will be lots of stories to tell. I'm sure that Jon will have the best ones of all. He misses you and his Dad so much and it will be especially hard on him. This past year has been tough for everyone but especially him and your Mom. Jon has come a long way and you would be very proud of him, as we all are. He is such a handsome young man and is really enjoying his new job and is doing quite well in his new chosen field of work. Well, we are all meeting the Welch family at Luby's tomorrow and then going to the cemetary together. Michala will also be going with us. She is such a sweet young lady (and a lady she is!) and I feel like we have been cheated out of having her in the family. But then, I think she will always be a part of our family, no matter what her future holds for her. She too, has done very well and you would also be very proud of her as well. She loved you so much and it is going to be very hard for her to go on with her life without you. But we all encourage her to do that as we know that is what you would want her to do. I'm sure that she herself will have to decide when that time will be. She still mourns for you so badly that it breaks my heart to see her like this.
I hope you won't let it rain on our gathering tomorrow. We are going to fuss at you if you do. But that would be so like you to do that to us. How appropo it is that we have lunch at Luby's! That was always yours and Jon's favorite place to eat and has been ever since you were just little boys. Michala told me that was your choice of places for her to take you to eat on your birthday last year. And in fact, that was the last place that I saw you...you always wanted to meet there whenever we met for lunch. I'm sure that will put a smile on your face when you see all of us eating there tomorrow. I think I will have your favorite thing to eat there...salmon patty, macaroni and cheese, fried okra, a roll and iced tea. Except that you would always have 2 salmon patties and I don't think I could handle that!
Gotta go now but I will be with you in spirit always.
I love you,
Mamaw
Mom
June 14, 2003
6/15/03
Dear Josh,
Has it really been a year?
In order for me to explain where I am, I must make you understand where I have been.
The words of my journal say it all. I can’t think of any other words that speaker closer to my heart than some of these. Page after page, journal after journal. Quiet scribbiling by the pool, on the couch, with a glass of wine. Many of the entries of the past year are stained with tears and I have often wondered if I should rewrite them. Why? So they are legible to you? To God?
From my diary – the past year
Pain. So much pain. My heart is shattered, my mind in horror. I can’t move, can’t think. It takes every ounce of energy to breath, simply breathe in and out, to exist. I am lost. Everyday is a new nightmare, with no sense of direction. I am blind and there is comfort only in that, comfort in having all the edges blurred, so the reality cannot cut my mind and start the hemorraging again. I am in grief hibernation. I cry & cry. Every day begins with tears, every night ends with them. I am headed back to work. I have no choice. I am frantic for something normal, something to put me in a familiar pattern. If I stay home I will crawl in a corner and die. The huge, racking sobs are back. They come from behind and grab me. It’s grief ambush and it is terrifying.
People smile and hug me, hiding their horror, pretending it will be okay. I see their lips moving, I don’t know or care what they are saying. There are no words to bring Josh back. Friends and family asked “Is there anything I can do?” Yes, turn back time, take away the pain and bring Josh back. If that’s not possible, be my friend while I face the pain.
I am exhausted with grief. I want to rise above this nightmare. Emotional turbulence –I never know when or how it will strike. I’m afraid to be in front of people for fear it will hit and knock me over. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. It is all I can muster. Breathe in and breathe out, one foot in front of the other, then start over again. Why God? Why Josh?
Grief is the dark imaginary friend. I go to lunch with co-workers and as we sit and talk, grief sits right in the center of the table, staring at me. When I try to eat, it punches me in the stomach, when I try to smile, it reminds me of Josh’s injuries. I ignore it and pretend that the world is okay. I keep spots open on my work calendar for “breathing time”.
I will let the tears come and when I look at the world through tears, I will see things I haven’t ever seen before.
I am amazed that I have not come apart. Disintegrated into a million soggy pieces, still crying as I meltdown. All that would be left is a lake of tears. People say I am doing “so well”. What does that mean? Am I just sane enough to give appropriate answers and behave “normal?” Am I really strong? Is the strong life force in me enough to pull me through?
I buried the person I was, along with Josh, on June 15, 2002. Something big is over in my life and everything occurring in my life is divided between the before and the after of Josh’s death. The days are black and white and all my strength is spent on breathing in, breathing out and putting one foot in front of another.
Josh, if I could tell you my one regret, it would be that I didn’t love you better. I had planned to make more time for that, to improve it, because you deserved it. To stop folding clothes, working on the computer and paying bills and hold you a little bit longer. With that in mind, I will correct those faults in your name and memory.
Where are you? I hear you calling in my dreams, nightly. You yell out “Mom” so loud and when that doesn’t wake me up, you bang on the front door, until I get up and look outside. I have been searching for you beyond the boundaries of my small space in the universe. I believe you still exist somewhere else. You are here - somewhere separate, but very near – inside of me. I grieve as God grieves, trembling over the power of the love that appears lost, but is only changing.
Losing you changed everything. It deepened me, pushing my elevator down to my depths and forcing me to start over, re-evaluate everything that I am. I am forced to take a hard look at myself, sorting through the layers and examining what I do and don’t want to change. What I have found is that, at my core, my roots are sturdy. I am firmly grounded with the earth and standing on a solid foundation. There is a strength I have never felt before. Is it from surviving my fear, overcoming the biggest horror a parent can feel and learning to ask God for help?
I am holding my center. I now have spiritual stamina. Sometimes I confuse the two – heartbreak and faith. My faith is always there, but it cannot dry my tears of loss. I am learning to transform fear, anger and sadness into inner strength.
My journey is one of heartbreak and grief. An attempt at understanding something that is larger than me, larger than life. I have lost my firstborn child. A beautiful son, so radiant, so full of spirit. Josh, your death impacted my world, making me wiser, deeper. I am changed forever. I will never again be who I was, what I was. But I am better, stronger. My journey continues, but I am not alone. I am hand in hand with family, friends and God. And you are in my heart forever.
So many questions over the past year, but the most powerful is “Why?” I questioned fate, the heavens and God. Why did this have to happen? I speculated, blamed God, blamed myself and tried to create reasons in an attempt to find comfort. I am accustomed to having answers. A year ago, I felt I could never rest without the answer and struggled to find it. I’ve faced the challenge of acceptance without knowing, surrendered the search, stopped seeking the unknown and accept it.
In the process of it all, trust was born. I have put my trust in God, realizing that until he wants me to understand, it will be a mystery. Out of trust, peace was also born. A new kind of peace that stands next to faith. Faith that no matter what the situation, what the circumstances, God will lead and give me the strength to get through it.
Josh’s death set me adrift, with no anchor or direction. I had no idea how to handle it and no control over it. I was tossed and turned in the horrible storm of death. Lightning cracked around me, huge walls of grief rolled over me, leaving me choking for air at times. I had no map, no charted course and no compass. Friends threw life preservers, but they were no match for the stormy sea. The strong winds of grief blew them away and I was left alone to make it through this journey.
Some days, the ocean seems calm, but underneath, there is a dangerous undertow that might grab me and take me under without warning. Some days I felt strong and pointed my boat where I thought dry land was, only to find I had misjudged my strength and ability to reason. As a survivor, I wanted to move forward, to reach land and stand on solid ground. I wanted off the unstable boat, out of the painful journey and back to a normal life…but I’m not ready – yet.
Today, I have learned to maneuver my boat better. I have an idea when a storm is approaching and I’m better at predicting the weather in my heart. God is my compass, guiding me to land. I have surrendered control and I am letting him guide me. I realize I do not know it all and I need his help.
The journey is much more steady, but there are still storms that come out of nowhere and rock my boat. I am aged by the journey, by the hot sun on my face, by the endless flow of salt water tears on my face. I am weathered by the raging wind and water of grief pounding on me. But I am wiser than my years, full of life knowledge that some will never obtain.
God is my pilot, leading me. Some days he is my tugboat, pushing and pulling to get me where I need to go. I am not always a willing sailor. Friends and family fly over daily, dropping care packages of support, love and kindness. I am never hungry or in need, for they are committed to helping me make this journey.
I can see the shore. I have no idea of when I will reach it, but it is close. It is a place I’ve never traveled to before, a beautiful land full of newborn hope and love. I will take nothing for granted in the new home, once I reach it. I will appreciate it’s beauty, it’s fragrance and it’s touch. I will be there soon, I hope.
On dark days, when I think my boat won’t make it, I take out the binoculars and look ahead at what’s to come. At where I will be when I have healed enough. It’s a beautiful new world and I am ready to embrace it.
I want to live out loud. I want to laugh and embrace life unlike I ever have. I want to make a life that is beyond my wonder. Only loss of nerve can defeat me. I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling, or catching fire. I choose to live and loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I will not fear death, but fear living an inadequate life…Just like Josh did.
That’s it, Josh. You will live in my heart forever. Wish me luck on life and love, help me find my way and meet me at the gates when it’s all over! Don’t stop reaching for me, I take comfort in knowing you are there.
All My Love,
Mom
Aunt Debbie
June 13, 2003
Hey, Josh. Well Sunday is your 1 year anniversary in Heaven. I bet you are having a blast by now and it probably only seems like a few days for you. We are all going to get together Sunday to Celebrate your wonderful life. Give your dad and Cody a big hug. I miss you all so much and it seems so unreal to me, although I know it is true. I love you and know you will be with us in spirit Sunday. We'll be at Luby's (ha ha)..Love you always..
Krystal Stanbery
June 13, 2003
Ok Josh Sunday is going to be a hard time around houston and around here. Everyone knows that its the 1 year marker... the thing is I want you and everyone else up there to be watching over Jon this weekend. I know that he really misses you. He loves you and his dad so much and this weekend will be hard. We are all going to houston to get together and remember you and Jud and Cody because not only is the 1 year marker, its Father's Day.
I hope that Heaven has reached all your expectations. I love you and miss you alot. Tell everyone I love them. Love Always, Krystal
alison cillo
June 13, 2003
Michaela:
I have been thinking alot about you lately. I know the anniversay is approaching on June 15th. I will keep you in my prayers. I know it is hard; it was hard for me also on the 1 year anniversary. I know Josh is watching over you and all who loved him. I miss Clay so very much but he is with Josh in a better place and they are watching over us. I was watching the movie Ghost last week and I cried my heart out. I know they are near us
I usually get a sign that Clay is near and it brings a little smile to me. I wil keep you in my thoughts and prayers especially on Sunday.
Take Care
Alison
June 12, 2003
Kelly, Mark, Jon, Matt and Michala,
I know the year anniversary is approaching of your beloved Josh's death. I want you all to know that people are praying for you and asking God to give you extra strength on June 15th.
Michala McLean
May 7, 2003
Josh,
You know, I am sitting at work thinking deeply about you and what a wonderful heart you had. I miss you so much my love. You are so much a part of my life. So many special moments run through my head each day. What a wonderful person you are. You will always and forever hold that special key to my heart!!!!!
Love You, Michala
Krystal Haverland
April 28, 2003
Happy Birthday Josh!
I don't know what kind of party they are having in Heaven but I know there is one going. You have been and will always be greatly missed. Our family has forgot again about being together... I never hear from many of them. Let Uncle Jud know and Cody... you 3 need to get a plan together and send us a reminder that family is more important than anything. It shouldn't take a tragety to realize that and it shouldn't be forgoten. I miss all of you so much and want to share all of the changes in my life. I want you to know that my Josh is a great guy and we are getting married soon... I wish you could have known him he's just as loud as all of the Welch clan.
Anyway, I love you all and can't wait to see you. Love
Aunt Debbie
April 28, 2003
Happy Birthday, Josh. I miss you very much. Tell Jud and Cody hi. I love you , Josh...
Jerrod Core
April 24, 2003
Josh,
Hey bud....I finally could bring myself to write something here. This was the first time I have ever lost someone that I was close to, so its been a challenge to deal with it all. But, I promised Jud I would write you when I got up the courage. I didn't know when I made that promise that he'd be coming to see you so soon. God, I still can't believe that you are all gone.
Enough of that though... I just want to say how much it meant to have you as one of my best friends for well over half of my life. When my family moved in to the House on Brookside across from you, I will never forget that it was you that came over and invited me to play baseball in your yard. From about that day on you were the closest thing I ever had to a brother.
I can't even count all of the memories that I have of us growing up together. I know that every summer for many years, we might as well have just had one house, because it seemed like whoever got up first would come get the other and we'd start up some baseball, basketball, home-run derby or video games. That was always fun until you got so much better than me that you kicked my ass at baseball on a daily basis. And don't think for a second that I won't take the credit for you developing the ability to shoot hoops over someone several inches taller than you!! I'd give anything to see you swish another three-pointer in my face while I sat there wonderng how I didn't block the shot.
I know when we got into high school we didn't see each other as much because we went to different schools, but you were still always there when I needed a good friend or a brother. Home-run derby got replaced by late-night games of spades and sitting on Brookside just talking about life and girls and everything...and sneaking in a beer when we could get one.
Man, I miss you so much. I know alot of your high-school buds didn't know me as well, but that never bothered me. I knew I could always count on you, and you were always good for a laugh or a smile when that was needed. I remeber coming home from college one time and my parents telling me that your Dad and Tammy were moving out to Magnolia. It was like half of my childhood left Brookside when that happened. I'm so glad that didn't keep us from staying in touch and hanging out. I remember when I got out of school and bought my Covette like I had always talked about. I couldn't wait to give you a ride in that car...I'm glad we got the chance to take it for a spin that one day.
Josh, I think about you alot still. Being a pallbearer at your funeral was one of the saddest days of my life, but also one of the greatest honors I have ever had. Tell your dad thanks for letting me be part of that. I wouldn't be the same person that I am if we had not grow up as neighbors. I feel like I never missed out on not having a brother, because I always had you and Jon as my brothers. Just a few days before he came to see you, your dad mailed me your old softball cap, so that I could have something of yours to remember you. That hat hangs right next to my door, so I can see that Josh Welch #1 stiched in the back every day. You were definately that...#1 in every way.
Someday I'll come hang out with you and Cody and your Dad. I hope there's sports in heaven (even though I'm sure you'll still be better than me)! Until then I will remember you as one of the best friends I will ever have....someone that gave me so many laughs and great memories growing up...someone that will always be a brother in my heart. I love you bud...see you someday!
Kelly Scott
April 2, 2003
My dearest Josh,
Life continues at a rapid pace. The world does not stop for death or tragedy. People continue to chase chaos, busying themselves with things that have no meaning, but I remained one step removed. I watch the craziness, thankful that I have learned such a valuable lesson from you. My passions have changed, the life long balance I struggled for is near and my quest for inner peace is within reach. Spiritually, I am on solid rock.
That does not mean life is easy. Each day is a struggle to go forward. Every song, every conversation, every person, every season sparks memories of you. Watching the war on TV, seeing the Mothers cry over their sons, seeing death and destruction opens the wound. My eyes are filled with tears, sometimes at the most surprising moments. I have learned to accept and appreciate these moments, just as I accepted and appreciated your love.
I visited the cemetery for the first time since your Dad and Cody were killed. Honestly, Josh, it is the most pathetic sight I have ever witnessed. The three of your graves huddled together, in a field. How ironic that Jud and I just completed your grave marker and now, he and Cody are with you. I simply have not been able to register it all…no one has. All of our extended families and friends are still reeling from the magnitude of the loss that has taken place. My heart breaks when I talk to Tammy, I know her struggle all too well.
Losing you has damaged my soul and it may take forever to accept that you are gone. I see the pain in Jon and Michala’s eyes and I feel helpless. Grief and healing is a lonely task that must be done from within each person’s heart. I want so desperately to help, but all I can do is offer my love. Jon is still trying to find his center. He is struggling, but I am determined to pull him through this.
The change in the season brings the promise of hope. With all the new life on the trees and bushes, the flowers in bloom and the warmth of the sun, it’s hard not to feel a new strength. I’m starting to notice the world around me and my vision of life is no longer in black and white. I’m healing, but I am often uncertain about how I fit into life without you here. We are all uncertain.
I can laugh sometimes now and I am glad about that. I can cry over you and still have the strength to recover. The passing of time does not make me forget that I have lost you, but it does lend perspective to my world. I am still grieving and there are issues that may remain unresolved forever. Having you in my life was a treasure beyond words; quite simply, I miss you and I ache for you.
It’s amazing how many people you impacted when you left. A bond was formed and we cling together through the pieces of life we had with you. We call, we email, we share, we cry, but mostly we laugh over the crazy, mischievous person that you were. Your friends keep your memories close to their heart, as does everyone in the family. Chase’s school locker is covered in photographs of you, Matt wore your cowboy hat on “Go Texan” day and I wear your sweat band on my bike rides.
Jon has taken over the “Luby’s lunch with Mamaw” ritual, something I know you will be proud of. Michala keeps a constant vigil, almost hopeful it is all a bad dream and that one day you will walk back into her life. She is trying to go forward, Josh, but it’s so hard for her. Her love for you is as strong as it was 9 months ago. Matt misses you so much, as I know Jacob does, but has such a hard time putting it into words. Matt wants you to come back and play “Home Run Derby” with him…
Your friends are also struggling without you. Many of them came to the last poker game at our house (it’s time for another) and kept Mark up until the wee hours. It was not the same without you, although Shane and Pat argued almost as much as you used to. Tears ran down my face at Matt’s birthday party, when I held Rob and Amber’s precious little baby and I kept thinking about how proud you would have been, to be “Uncle Josh”. There are very few events or conversations that don’t include you. You continue to live, Josh, in all of our hearts.
I’ve thought so much about what you would want. I have decided to carry on with my head up and a smile on my face the way that you would, and I will continue to honor your memory the way it should be. Give my Dad, your Dad and Cody a hug.
Love Always,
Mom
Michala McLean
March 28, 2003
Josh,
The days are cold without you. I am still having a hard time accepting your tragic death. It continues to break my heart everyday not to hear your laughter and your loving embrace. It still feels like yesterday we were spending quality time together laughing and cracking jokes on each other. But....I will forever treasure those moments. Nothing in the world could replace the times we spent together. You will forever be in my heart.
Love Always and Forever,
Michala (Wody Johnson)
Chase Mansell
March 23, 2003
Josh,
I miss you everyday. We were and always will be best of friends. Thoughts of you and the time we had pop up in my head all the time and bring a smile to my face. We learned a lot from each other and were truly best friends. Thinking of you always...
Love ya forever,
Chase Mansell
Michala McLean
February 9, 2003
Josh,
It's been to long without you. I miss you dearly Josh. Everything reminds me of you. We went to Kent and Kelly's wedding last night, and you were suppose to be there. The slide show that they showed during the reception of you and all your friends was awesome. Everybody misses you terribly! Of course you know I had to request "The River" by Garth Brooks just for you babe. John and I danced to it with tears rolling down our face missing you wishing you were there. Yes, the wedding was hard, that was suppose to be us in the near future. It's okay. The wedding was beautiful. I want to send all my love to heaven above to you, Pops, and Cody, I love and miss all of you so much. Everybody is okay down here babe, just missing you. I will always hold you close to my heart forever. You were "THE ONE." Love you lots babe and keep smiling with that beautiful smiling face.
February 4, 2003
Tenderly… may God's love heal your sorrow. Gently… may the prayers of friends ease your hurting. Softly… may God's peace replace your heartache with warm and loving memories.
We miss you Josh!!!
Heather Moses
January 30, 2003
I knew Josh and Jud just about my whole life and know how loved the two of them were and how much they will be missed. I am very glad to have known the two of them and as hard it is to deal with death would never wish to take that back. I want to wish the families the best of luck in the days to come. Take care all.
Benton McKinney
January 29, 2003
Kelly-
My heartffelt sympathy in the loss of your son. I'd seen another Scarborough alum (Kate McCarthy)around the holiday's and she told me about it. God bless and comfort you and your family. If I can do something call me. I'm the only McKinney listed on Pinemont.
Vicki Sparks
January 22, 2003
Kelly,
I have just been made aware of Josh’s death, and it has ripped my heart out. I must have cried for an hour. If you remember, my son Michael and Josh are just about the same age and they, along with Jon, used to play together when they were just little guys when we all lived in the apts. on De Soto. I called Michael and told him and he is also very sad to hear what happened. He remembers Josh and Jon and you very well. Kelly, I am so sorry. I can only imagine what it would be like to lose my child and the thought makes me ill.
I haven’t seen or talked to you in a very long time but my heart still bleeds for you.
From one mother to another, I promise you, I will always remember Josh.
God Bless You.
Nance Wells
January 20, 2003
Josh, I have never met you but I know your mom...You are buried in the same cemetery as my daughter Kandra who died July 4, 2002 not long after your death. I feel your mothers pain. I visit your grave each time I come to visit my daughter..Those extra flowers are from me...If tears could build stairs to heaven, your mom and I would both be there visiting you and Kandra together. I hope the two of you find each other there in heaven and keep each other company until we get there to be with you...
Michala McLean
January 17, 2003
Josh,
Butty, the seasons have changed and I need you here so that I can hold you and make sure that you not cold. Everytime I walk outside in that change of wheather I think of you. I remember when you use to hold me in your arms and talk to me about anything and everything. Josh I could go on and on; I miss you so much my love. Not a day goes by that tears don't roll down my face thinking about all the good and stressful times we spent together. Carla and I always talk about the times at the apt. She misses you also so very much!!
Josh, if it wasn't for your family and friends and my family and friends, and all the wonderful people that you brought into my life I don't know where I would be, now 7 months down this dark and lonely road. Everybody has been such a great help and always reaching out a helping hand. I enjoy spending time with your family and friends; it has helped me through the grieving process. They are always so positive and up lifting at all times. I definately consider them my family and friends too. I didn't know what a great family and group of friends you had, Josh. WOW, it is amazing!!! I love each and every one of them so very much. Times have been rough the past 7 months but I am still standing and smiling everyday just for you, Butty!!! My life has gone on, but you will always have that half of my heart forever. You will never be forgotten in all of the days to come. Remember babe, shine bright in the sky, so that I can see you. You know you will stand out with that beautiful smiling face. Remember, I love you deeply and always will.
Love Always,
Michala McLean
Barbara Hoffart
December 29, 2002
MY FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN
I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below,
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars,
reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away the tear,
For I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description,
to hear the Angels sing.
I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away,
We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory
of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious
than pure gold.
It was always most important
in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other,
as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or love
He has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and
wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.
Michala McLean
December 25, 2002
My Precious Josh,
Merry Christmas my love!!!!! The day is here, the day I have been dreading for some time now. But.... with the strength that you and God have given me the past six months has prepared me for this day and this day forward. I miss you so dearly Josh. I know that your dancing across the skyline with your beautiful smiling face with your Dad and Cody by your side.
Josh, I thought today would be horrible. Since your brother and your father have joined you in that beautiful place that I can't wait to see, I found some kind of peace and closure. Babe, your not alone anymore!!! Now you can act silly boy with Cody and Pops. Josh you are constantly on my mind every waking moment and I continue to cherish you in heart forever. Remember you are still my #01 and I will love you forever and ever. I miss you dearly. I promise booty we will be together again in the near future. Until then watch over all your loved ones and you and God give them strength to live each day to the fullest like you did. Your always with me booty I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER.
Love Always,
Michala (Wody Johnson)
Denise Hall
December 21, 2002
Jon & Family~
There are no words that I could possibly bring you all comfort at this time. Hang in there Jon, I know your thinking it's impossible but you dont have a choice. You have to be strong! Your father and Cody are with Josh now and their looking down on you with a great big smile. I am here for you always!
Josh~ I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!
Michala~
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! You are my best friend and I'm here for you no matter what! We've been through so much and I promise you things will get better in time. You have to believe me. Don't give up. You know Josh is so happy now that his father and brother are with him now. You and Josh's family and friends are in my prayers! I love you and God Bless!
Love always & forever,
Denise Hall
Cyndy Fisher
December 20, 2002
Dear Jon, You know I've always loved you from the time you became Brandons friend and you guys got in trouble all the time. We had many a good laugh. You always had a smile for me and Jeff and we love you as our own. You are a grown up now, but you will always be that cute smiling kid that sometimes seemed to live at my house. Obviously, you had great parents. I can't imagine the loss and hurt that you feel. Just remember when times get dark, everyone loves you for being you. Please don't turn away from those who love you so much. Lean on us, rely on us, call us in the middle of the night. I will always have an ear for you to vent. Please hold on tight. Please come see me sometime. I love you, Cyndy. (Brandon's mom)P.S. Jeff sends his love and our hearts go out to Tammy and everyone else suffering at this tragic time also.
Terri Kline
December 19, 2002
John, Tammy and Family,
There are no words that can be said, only to relay on your family and friends for support.
My heart as a mother goes out to you all.
If Tomorrow Starts Without Me
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
The thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through Heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did
Some things you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
~ Author Unknown ~
December 18, 2002
Jon
There is absolutly no words available to express comfort to you and your family at this time. May God send you strength during your time of pain and loss.Our family will be keeping you in our prayers.If your are in need of a friend please, do not hesitate to call.
Oudom & Kimsa
BLAKE LOWRY
December 18, 2002
JON,
MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, ONCE AGAIN. GOD HAS TAKEN YOUR BROTHER AND YOUR FATHER FROM THE FLESH BUT HE HAS NOT TAKEN THEM FROM THE SPIRITUAL STATE. ALWAYS REMEMBER, JOSH AND YOUR FATHER ARE LOOKING DOWN ON YOU. ANYTHING YOU DO FROM NOW ON THEY HAVE THE BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE. THEY ARE STILL THERE FOR YOU TO TALK TO AND I PROMISE THEY WILL LISTEN TO YOU. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TALK TO THEM. IF YOU EVER, EVER NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO OR ANYTHING GIVE ME A CALL. I WILL BE HERE FOR YOU IN THIS TIME OF NEED. NEVER FAIL TO LET YOUR EMOTIONS GO..., FOR JOSH AND YOUR YOUR FATHER ARE IN A BETTER PLACE NOW. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
BLAKE LOWRY
December 18, 2002
To the family,
God searched the whole world ,
For just the right person,
And there he found Josh, very special indeed.
With all the strength and courage
He knew needed to be.
For Josh had a journey to take
And God knew he would be there to nurture and
guide them every step of the way,
But his journey's not over, Its only just began.
for God knew you were the special one to now guide along your father and brother.
To keep thier memories alive,
The thousands of lives they have touched,
will never die.
Though this journey is hard and rocky at times,
God sees your heart and there he will reside.
Respectfully yours.
Jami Rieger
December 17, 2002
We cannot even fathom the loss you all must be feeling right now. All I can think about is Judd’s eulogy to Josh and how proud he was of his sons and their accomplishments. Jon, your father and your brothers are still very proud of you and are looking down to watch over you together. Our prayers go out to everyone, we are so very sorry for your loss. And remember…they are not alone.
Jami Rieger and Brian Holmes
Jennifer Murray
December 17, 2002
Jon -
There are no words to condole how you must feel right now, but know that you are loved and have my should whenever you need it. Josh, Cody and your dad are all together now and smiling down on you. You have angels watching over you. Keep you head up
Cheryl O'Brien
December 17, 2002
Tammy -
Please know that all of us here at Winograd, Reichl are praying for you and your family. What an unbelievable tragedy. Some things are not fathomable to us here on earth. We have to trust in God to give us the strength to continue forward.
God be with you,
Cheryl O'Brien
M. Andricks
December 17, 2002
I cannot imagine the pain you all must be feeling right now.. The only logical explanation for all of this is that they just couldn't wait to be with Josh again. I will have every one I know praying for you and will never go to sleep at night before kissing my child and thanking GOD for him. May He be with you in your time of great need.
Chad Felcman & Jennifer Bradley
December 17, 2002
There are no words that could possibly bring you all comfort at this time. All our prayers and love are sent to you. God bless you all!
Chrissy Hoffart
December 17, 2002
I don't even know how you all feel right now, but I am praying for you all. This is a very bad thing happening and I know there are no words to say to help comfort you right now, but the words God be with you, and Judd and Cody are now with Josh. Looking down on you all whipping your tears and letting you cry on their shoulders. This is very bad to loose family so close to each other, and my prays are with you all, I love you all very much. Aunt Barbara, Kelly, Tammy, Jon, and Michala. I will keep you in my prayers. We have got to stop meeting like this, it's bad for you. You are all in my prayers. I wish you all the best, remember it's best to not keep your feelings locked inside, talk to someone, It's ok to cry!! peace and God be with you all. Love you guys much.
Chrissy Hoffart
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