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Michael Pistorius Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Michael Pistorius
Sponsored by your brother David.
HoLLy
June 12, 2025
22 years...
I have reminders set up on my phone, and somehow I happened to have "182" reminders scheduled for the year, of all the numbers and of all the times for it to be that number...
I know you are always with me everywhere I go...
I love you, Mike...
love always and forever, "and even after," your rock show girl
HoLLy
August 25, 2024
Today's your birthday - hope you are having a tortilla and honey bun, just like we always did after school! And for later, a chocolate chip cookie and pink M&Ms, like you always used to bring me, just because...
love and miss you, mike...
-your rockshow gal, always
HoLLy
June 12, 2024
21...
Blink is coming to ACL this year...I´ll sing every lyric to every song for you, I know you´ll hear me...
They have a new song out called, "One More Time."
I miss you, took time, but I admit it. It still hurts even after all these years. And I know that next time ain't always gonna happen. I gotta say "I love you" while we're here.
We never took that for granted. "Forever, and even after."
I love you, Mike...your rock show girl
your rockshow girl
November 23, 2023
Happy Thanksgiving, Mike... Blink has a new album out... every song, I think of you... miss and love you...
HoLLy
August 25, 2023
Happy Birthday, Mike!
Went to our favorite band´s concert, Blink 182, back in May. I knew you were there in every lyric I sang...
I´ll always be your rock show girl...
Love you, Mike...
HoLLy
August 25, 2022
Happy Birthday, Mike...what I would do to go back in time to re-live your 17th birthday all over again... it´s in my heart though and that memory will stay there forever...love you...
HoLLy
June 12, 2022
When I have a bad day, I think of your big bear hugs, when I could escape the world, even if it was just for a few seconds, and everything seemed okay, the world stopped, I was safe, I felt protected, I was home...
Miss you more than words could ever explain...
Love you with all my heart, always and forever...and even after...
HoLLy Rasmussen
August 26, 2021
Happy Birthday, Mike...
I love you and miss you...
- your rock show girl
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 12, 2021
If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever...
-Winnie the Pooh
Thank you for always being with me...
I love you, Mike...
Love always, your Rock Show Girl
HoLLy Rasmussen
August 25, 2020
36... love you, Mike...
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 13, 2020
17 years...17 years old is the age we made plans to one day buy a big house, have 5 sports cars, and get 5 dogs... thank you for making me dream big with you... itll always be my favorite plan... Love you, Mike...always and forever...
HoLLy Rasmussen
August 25, 2019
35 years old... love you, Mike...
HoLLy Rasmussen
August 25, 2019
35 years... love you, Mike...
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 12, 2019
16 years... 16 years old is the age we first met... thank you for being my first love... itll always be my favorite... Love you, Mike, always and forever...
HoLLy Rasmussen
December 25, 2018
Merry Christmas, Mike - was recently in Arizona - comforting to be in the state where you were born. Love and miss you always, your rockshow gal
HoLLy Rasmussen
August 26, 2018
Happy Birthday, Mike... you will always be the first thing I think of when someone says, "Make a wish..." Love you, Mike...
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 12, 2018
Heard "Waiting for you," by Richard Marx on TV the other day, and the only person that came to mind, was you...
Wherever you go,
Whatever you do,
I will be right here waiting for you...
Whatever it takes,
Or how my heart breaks,
I will be right here waiting for you...
I love you, Mike...
-your rockshow girl forever
HoLLy Rasmussen
August 25, 2017
Happy Birthday, Mike...
Love & miss you more than anything...
Love always, your rockshow gal
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 12, 2017
Big house, 5 dogs, 5 sports cars, no kids...still have our same dream 15 years later...
Love you, Mike...
your rockshow gal forever, HoLLy
Holly Rasmussen
December 25, 2016
Merry Christmas, Mike...
Miss hearing about your Colorado adventures...
Love you more than words could ever explain...
Your rockshow gal forever,
HoLLy
HoLLy Rasmussen
August 25, 2016
The first time you fall in love, it changes you forever, and no matter how hard you try, that feeling just never goes away...
How lucky am I that you are my first love...
I love you, Mike...
love always & forever, and even after, your rockshow gal
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 12, 2016
If ever there is a tomorrow when were not together, there is something you must always remember...you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we are apart, I'll always be with you...
Thank you for always being with me...
I love you, Mike...
Your rockshow gal, always and forever..."and even after..."
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 12, 2014
11 years...
My dad sent me a quote and it describes perfectly how I feel.
"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but, you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to."
I love you, Mike...
your rockshow gal always, HoLLy
HoLLy Rasmussen
August 25, 2013
It's your birthday, today...
Tried out for Mock Trial today, purposely, I knew today would be good luck.
Finishing up my final year of law school; wish you were here to share the end of this marathon journey with, but then again, I don't need to wish because I know you've been with me every step of the way.
Still so many battles to fight; I need my *big bear* hugs from you, that's the only time I felt safe from the world, no one could hurt me when I was in your arms...
Miss you more than words could ever convey...
I love you, Mike.
Your Rock Show Gal
Kirwin Drouet
June 13, 2013
How about an XBox tournament, Buddy? You left a big hole in the hearts of all who knew you.
(L to R) David Pistorius, Damon Drouet (Kinsey's brother), Michael Pistorius - Colorado 2002
David Pistorius
June 12, 2013
Can't believe it has been 10 years already. Seems like just yesterday that we were laughing in the kitchen at Sunday dinner. Alot has happened in 10 years. I'm very grateful for our "Angel Uncle Buddy" to watch over us and keep us safe until we can be together as a family again! Love and miss you bro!!!
HoLLy Rasmussen
December 25, 2012
It's Christmas...I picture you in Colorado; can't wait until the day when we will be able to snowboard together...
My dad is in the process of selling the house I grew up in: the house you came over every night after your shift at Boston Market - you'd bring me a huge, fresh, warm chocolate chip cookie; the house where we'd sing karaoke - blink 182, weezer, and brittany spears; the house where we'd make an after school snack of tortillas and honey buns; the house where my mom and dad were also your mom and dad, aka mud and pappas. I had to start cleaning out my childhood things so the house would be ready if sold. I found our pictures, our notes, our IMs, our anniversary/valentines/bday cards, our movie stubs, our receipts...I feel so lucky to have found you, you make me a better person...
I love you, Mike...
your rockshow gal forever,
HoLLy
HoLLy Rasmussen
November 22, 2012
It's Thanksgiving...holidays are a little tougher in pretending you're okay...missing you more than words could ever express.
Things in the world just don't make sense to me right now, I feel like I'm stuck at times, not knowing what direction to take. But, I'm going to keep fighting, I know that is what you'd want me to do...
I love you, Mike.
your rockshow gal always...
HoLLy Rasmussen
August 25, 2012
Up at the library on a Saturday, studying away...doing what you always told me to do, follow my heart. I know you are here with me on my journey through school.
A little harder to hide the hurt today, miss you more than words could ever convey.
I love you, Mike.
your rockshow gal,
holldoll
HoLLy Rasmussen
July 15, 2012
Went to visit your mom, brother, Kinsey, and their amazing children - your nephews and niece. Being there with everyone you love makes me feel that much closer to you, hard to not have you there by my side. Even though it's been 9 years, the heartache doesn't ever really go away, you just get better at hiding it.
I miss you...I love you Mike...
~your rockshow gal
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 11, 2012
I just completed my first year of law school, you were the one voice in my head that kept me going, when everyone else around doubted I could make it through. I wish my best friend was here with me to share this crazy, roller coaster journey, but, at the same time, you're with me everywhere I go...just wish I could run and jump into your arms, especially on the bad days, your hugs made everything and everybody in the world disappear, where I felt protected, where I knew a rare love.
I miss you Mike...I love you...~your rock show gal always, holldoll
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 12, 2011
blink 182 concert tickets went on sale this weekend...wish I was going with you. today makes 8 years, i sit here and type with tear-filled eyes as if you just left us, the pain is always there, just better able to hide the hurt inside. there are so many life changing decisions im making right now, i wish i had you here to ask your thoughts and opinions. i know you always told me to follow my heart...so thats what im going to do.
you are my bestfriend and hero...i Love you mike...
and where i go youll be there with me,
forever youll be right here with me...
~your rockshow gal
David Pistorius
April 28, 2011
Just "googled" David Pistorius and this was the first entry... Not a day goes by that we don't think about you, and funny now that Drew is almost 6, the questions about you and Dad are starting to me more and more frequent. Especially now that Drew has a brother and knows what that means. At least I don't break down into tears everytime he asks the questions, he was starting to think his Dad was weird cause he cried everytime he talked about his brother!!!
Thanks for keeping an eye on my kiddos, they love hearing stories about their "Angel Uncle Buddy"!!!
HoLLy Rasmussen
February 15, 2011
im struggling...i wish you were here to talk to, to give me your big bear hugs, you always made me forget about the world...youre with me in my heart everywhere i go, you believing in me, to follow my dreams, my every passion, i know youre my #1 supporter, thank you for never doubting me, youre the reason that keeps me holding on...i miss and love you mike...
your rockshow girl, HoLLy
HoLLy Rasmussen
December 25, 2010
merry christmas mike...i love you...
~your rockshow girl, HoLLy
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 12, 2010
i have a friend that lives off of grant rd, got directions and didnt realize it would take me right past cy creek high school - i remember the times when my mom would drop me off during your lunch period so we could eat together...felt so proud sitting next to you...i had the hott boyfriend!
thought about going to our place where we used to lay and look up at the stars together ~ dont know if i can do it...
i miss my bestfriend...your with me everywhere i go...you are my reason im going for my dreams...i miss you more than words could ever say, i love you mike...your rockshow gal forever...
*if tears could build a stairway, and memories build a lane, id walk right up to heaven, and bring you home again...*
HoLLy Rasmussen
December 25, 2009
its christmas, this time of year is always hard without you, just like all the other days in between...i love you sweetheart...
~your rockshow gal forever
HoLLy Rasmussen
December 6, 2009
it snowed in houston this past friday, when the snow was falling, all i thought about was you...
my dad always quotes this line from a movie and it says, "love is like the wind, i cant see it but i can feel it..." he reminds me of that quote everytime something in nature happens...like me walking through the snow...i know your love surrounds all of us...pappas misses you and you already know how much i miss you!
i love you sweetheart,
~your rock show girl forever
HoLLy Rasmussen
September 23, 2009
tomorrow night is the blink concert...words will never be able to describe how much its going to hurt to not have you by my side...at the same time, i know you will be there with me...
blink 182 will always be "our" band...
i love you mike.
~your rockshow girl...forever...
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 12, 2009
6 years...still the same, just got really good at hiding it now...
Now you're gone
I wonder why you left me here
I think about it on and on and on and on and on again (and on again)
I know you're never coming back
I hope that you can hear me
I'm waiting to hear from you
Until I do
You're gone away
I'm left alone
A part of me is gone
And I'm not moving on
So wait for me
I know the day will come
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
I wish I could've told you
The things I kept inside
But now I guess it's just to late
So many things remind me of you
I hope that you can hear me
I miss you
This is goodbye
One last time
You're gone away
I'm left alone
A part of me is gone
And I'm not moving on
So wait for me
I know the day will come
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
I'll meet you there…
And where I go you'll be there with me
Forever you'll be right here with me
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
and even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me
I'll meet you there
and even if I need you
I'll meet you there
I'll meet you, I'll meet you, I'll meet you, I'll meet you.. there.
i love you mike...
~your rockshow girl always
HoLLy Rasmussen
February 9, 2009
blink182 announced that they are back together saying:
"We used to play music together, and we decided we're going to play music together again."
i couldnt help but both cry and smile at the same time...
i know your trying to tell me its going to be ok...
not a day goes by that i dont think of you and wish you were here...
i love you sweetheart.
~your rockshow girl forever
Holly Rasmussen
December 9, 2008
i have to write a personal statement to get into grad school...i wrote it about my best friend and 1st love...
you inspire me to achieve all my goals and I'm going to keep fighting sweetheart...
I Love You Mike...
~your rockshow girl forever
Holly Rasmussen
June 19, 2008
i miss you soo much sweetheart...not a day goes by that i dont think of u and wish u were here with us...
i love you mike...
~your rockshow girl 4ever
Holly Rasmussen
March 25, 2008
was just thinking about our spot where we used to sit and gaze at the stars...
miss you sweetheart...
love you.
~your rockshowgirl always
Holly Rasmussen
December 25, 2007
thinking about u today & always...
~*~love you sweetheart~*~
Holly Rasmussen
November 22, 2007
miss and love you mike
David Pistorius
July 26, 2007
I'm getting tired of posting to memory books for my family. We still miss you, but we are glad that Dad has joined you. We'll all be seeing you sooner or later. Keep an eye out for us!
holly rasmussen
June 12, 2007
hey sweetheart,
i miss you...i Love you...
Now you're gone
I wonder why you left me here
I think about it on and on and on and on and on again
I know you're never coming back
I hope that you can hear me
I'm waiting to hear from you
Until I do
You're gone away
I'm left alone
A part of me is gone
And I'm not moving on
So wait for me
I know the day will come
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
I wish I could have told you
The things I kept inside
But now I guess it's just too late
So many things remind me of you
I hope that you can hear me
I miss you
This is goodbye
One last time
You're gone away
Im left alone.
A part of me is gone
And im not moving on
So wait for me
I know the day will come
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
I'll meet you theeeeerrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee...
And where I go you'll be there with me
Forever you'll be right here with me
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me
I'll meet you there
And even if i need you
Ill meet you there
Ill meet you there
Ill meet you there
ilove you baby...
your rockstar girl always ~holldoll
Adam Prater
March 21, 2007
Buddy,
yesterday i thought i saw you in that green truck you used to have in high school.... i had to pinch myself to see if it was real. I miss you hope one day we will run into each other again
Holly Rasmussen
February 14, 2007
i miss you...i love you...
~ur rockshow gal always
Holly Rasmussen
November 23, 2006
It's Thanksgiving...people always say its hardest around the holidays...i guess for me then, everyday is a holiday....
i miss you,
i Love you...
~your holldoll always
Holly Rasmussen
June 12, 2006
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do...
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear...
I Miss You Deeply...
I Love You Mike...
~Love Always
your rockshow girl forever
HoLLy Rasmussen
November 22, 2005
To my bebe,
Hey sweetheart...I haven't written in awhile but I want you to know that not a moment goes by without you in my heart with me. I miss you more than words could never describe...You are the one reason that keeps me going each day, when I feel like giving up on everything. Whenever I'm down, I'm always thinking... what would Mike have told me?...then it all becomes so clear and makes the situation bearable...
I miss your big bear hugs, I always felt soo safe and protected from the world when I was in your arms...I'm first in line for a hug, that's all I have to say...but just promise me your never let me go...
I made a wish and you came true...
I thank God every night that I met you, I'm soo lucky...
"We'll run away together...
We'll spend some time forever...
We'll never feel bad anymore..."
~island in the sun~weezer
"You've been the only thing that's right...In all I've done..."
Our Dream: *big house, 5 dogs, NO KIDS, alot of sports cars*
I Love You Michael Wayne Pistori"us"...
Love Always,
your rockshow gal...
~HoLL-DoLL~
HoLLy Rasmussen
March 19, 2005
To My 1st Love...
Mike, I just wanted to tell you that I Love You, and not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish you were here with me...
"I'll Meet You There"...
Love Always -n- 4ever, Your #1 fan...your ~HoLL-DoLL~
Jessica Carrasco
January 31, 2005
Mike
Saw some one who looked like you today, and I had to do a double take. Even though my life has changed so much since you left us not a day goes by I don’t think about you. I was so blessed to have had you in my life and miss your presence in it very much. I just wanted to tell you hi and let you know I still miss you.
Love
Jessie
Jayme Wentzel
December 27, 2004
Mike~
I know it is a few days late but Merry Christmas...I know you're watching over all of us and there are many times when I feel like your still here with us then I realize your not and the tears start flowing again...We all love you and miss you sweetie!!
Love Always,
Jayme Ann
HoLLy Rasmussen
December 22, 2004
To My One & Only...
Hey sweetheart, had a difficult time today...please help me make it through... I Love You Mike, You are My Only One...
Jon Moran
December 18, 2004
hey buddy
it's been awhile since i've signed your book, but i know you know where you stand in my heart. You were my first actual best friend and i think about you everyday, all i have to do it walk in front of the mirror and see the tattoo. Well i guess eveyone that didnt know i had a tattoo knows now, but its ok, even though some are against it, if i had it to do over i wouldnt change a thing. I truly think about you all the time regardless of the tattoo, and have even found myself at times wondering what we would be doing at the given moment and the trouble we would be causing. I cant wait till we are side by side once again, but until then......
Love you bro,
Jon
HoLLy Rasmussen
November 25, 2004
To My One & Only....
Hey sweetheart...I Just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.
"I Love You Mike"...
"You are My Only One"
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only my only one
Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one...
(4,8,11,14,16,182,306,311 ,510)
Our Dream Forever:
*big house, 5 dogs, NO KIDS, alot of sports cars*
*Squeeze hand 11 times*
"You are My Only, My Only One"...
Keely Drouet
November 11, 2004
Hey Buddy ... just wanted you to know that Kinsey and David are pregnant (not that you don't already know that) ... Kinsey keeps having dreams that she and David are going to have a boy but for some reason I think it might be a girl. I think it will be hard for them to not have you here when the baby is born but hopefully, this pregnancy/first baby will serve as the light they have needed in their lives since you have been gone.
Halo2 came out on Tuesday and Damon took a day off of work to "Save the World" ... figured you would have done the same. He and Amy get married in a few weeks ... no worries this time about you or I having to give the maid of honor/best man speeches!
The Drouet clan misses you Buddy ...
Jayme Wentzel
November 10, 2004
~*~Beyond A Distance~*~
Through the clouds
and beyond the stars,
My thoughts of you
seem so far.
I feel so close
yet, you are miles away,
Beyond my touch
is where you stay.
I try to jump
but can't get that high,
You drift up close
towards the on-going sky.
Out of my reach
and far from my sight,
Until all that is left of you
is one burning light.
A star in the sky
is what you now are to me,
The farthest one
for me to see.
So, I make a wish
on this shining star,
That you will always think of me
Beyond this distance that is so far.
Mike we all love you and miss you very much....dont ever forget that
Love Always & Forever,
Jayme Ann
HoLLy Rasmussen
August 25, 2004
I Love You Mike...
I'll meet you there sweetheart.
Jeramy Norsworthy
August 25, 2004
Mike,
hey bud. Just want you to know that i didnt forget about your birthday. how could i with you being the young one of the group. keep watching over us and take care.
Jeramy
Jayme Wentzel
August 23, 2004
~*~MiKe~*~
No matter how long it has been it still seems like yesterday when we use to all hang out. No matter what I want you to do one thing for me....NEVER forget that I Love You a lot more than you will ever know. I Miss You Sweetheart!! <3
~*~*~If I Had Only Known~*~*~
If I had only known
It was our last walk in the rain
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm
I would hold your hand
Like a lifeline to my heart
Underneath the thunder we'd be warm
If I had only known
It was our last walk in the rain
If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
I'd memorize each thing you ever said
And on those lonely nights
I could think of them once more
And keep your words alive inside my head
If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
You were the treasure in my hand
You were the one who always stood beside me
So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
And then there came a day when I
Turned my head, and you slipped away.
If I had only known
It was my last night by your side
I pray a miracle to stop the dawn
And when you smiled at me
I would look into your eyes
And make sure you know my love for you
Goes on and on...
If I had only known.
If I had only known.
The love I would have shown,
If I had only known.
David Pistorius
August 19, 2004
Yo Bro,
Still doesn't get any easier...
Last night I was watching an old rerun of Saturday Night Live, and couldn't help but think about you when our favorite, Leon Phelps, the ladieths man, came on... Then again today at work, somehow the conversation turned to me quoting Leon, and I laughed to myself... How we used to have whole entire conversations talking just like the ladieths man... I sure do miss those conversations, and the laughing... I miss you Bro, and will never forget you. Thanks for all the times you made me laugh and the great memories that I have.
See you soon!
Love,
D
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 14, 2004
~*~MiKe~*~ My One & Only...
Hey Sweetheart... 365 ago, June 14th, 2003, I got the news that forever changed our world...
To The Family....
In ways big and small, your loved one's life changed our world and left it a better place, and touched too many hearts to ever be forgotten. May you find comfort in knowing how many people share your sadness... of the greatest man I'll ever know.
Mike,
"I know your looking down at us, telling us not to cry, but please forgive me if i shed a few tears... I just lost the Love of My Life"...
"I'm here without you baby, but your still on my lonely, I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you baby, but your still with me in my dreams... and forever I'll dream of You and me..."
OUR Dream Always:
*big house, 5 dogs, NO KIDS, alot of sports cars!*
(4,8,11,14,16,18,25,182,3 06,311,510,831)
"I Love You Mike"...
"I'll Meet You There"...
*squeezes hand 11 times*
Love Always, Your Forever Heartbroken, Rockshowgal,
~HoLLy~ (mp)
NiCk Hoschar
June 13, 2004
Hey Mike,
Came and said hello yesterday with some others. One year later and yet it seems like just yesterday. You are in everyones thoughts and conversations and always will be.
You are missed and always will be.
~NiCk~
jeramy norsworthy
June 13, 2004
Mike,
in the year that you have been gone. time has passed way to fast. i find that you havent left any of our thoughts what so ever and we all know you are doing well, as we are missing you here.
mike, one year gone, not one day forgotten.
Jeramy Norsworthy
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 12, 2004
~*~MiKe~*~ to my One & Only...
Hey sweetheart...I don't even know where to begin. Last year, at this time, I was in Disney World, unaware of what happened back home. I wish I had just stayed in Florida forever instead of knwoing the news that awaited me back home. We arrived back home on the 14th. I was watching MTV on the couch and one of my friends rang the doorbell. When I opened the door, they handed me a note they found. I read it, and all it said was to call your best friend Eric ASAP. I was confused, in a panic, and tearing up... I knew it had to do something with your bike, but I was just praying that you were ok. I didn't know how old the note was because I had been gone for 2 weeks prior. I ran to the phone and called Eric's cell, personal line, and home... only to have no one answer. I immediately drove to Eric's house, only to find my world had changed, my life had ended, my heart never to be the same again...I wish this day never happened, I wish you could redo it over again... I wish I could turn back time, and relive all the moments I ever spent with you, those were the best moments of my life, you made me the happiest girl in the whole wide world... as long as I was with you, nothing else semmed to matter, it was only you and me, and everything else was void, it wouldn't matter what we'd be doing, where we were going, who we were with, as long as you were there by my side, i was complete... i remember how we saw Austin Powers together so you'd always say...
"You complete me?" and I'd said "yes... "You complete me?" and you'd say "yes!" what other couple does that kind of stuff?!
only us... only us... i remember how we'd used to squeeze each others hands 11 times because 1+8+2 (blink 182) equaled 11! If I'd only squeeze your hand 10 times, you'd make me do it over!! sometimes, I would purposely mess up to see if your notice and you ALWAYS did, and ALWAYS would make me do it over! We said that if we were ever unconscious and we wanted to know the other person was there, we squeeze the hand 11 times and that's how we'd know the other person was right there by each other's side...Sometimes I wish I had never met you because then I could go to sleep at night heart broken free, but then I think how much I would have missed out on, and most importantly, I would have missed out on knowing the greatest man I'll ever know, the one who picked me up when i fell, the one who wiped my tears and made me smile when I thought I'd never smile again, the one who was always there when no one else was, the one who was my prince... my love... my bestfriend... my everthing...I remember how when we were broken up, we'd hear a song on the radio and we'd call each other up and be like... "Oh my Gosh, that's soo us!" every love song, we'd have something to relate too!
(creed concert-NFG "everything I wanted")
I'll be driving, and I hear one that fits us perfectly, but this time it's different... I can't call my best friend to tell him of the song....I remember you looking at my cell phone and you saw "Mike Pistorious" and you said..." You don't even know how to spell your future last name!!!" I smiled and you corrected me... you said, "It's Pistori...U...S..." and I said... like "US"! and you said, "yes, that's how you can rememeber it!"
Last night was difficult, there's not really anything ideal to do on a day of remembrance, because whatever you do just doesn't seem right. I decided to go to Hooter's where you'd always spend good times with your h-town friends, and then we went to see a movie at Tinseltown...I thought I'd do something that you and I would normally do... a date type thing... so my dad was my date...Pappas! as you'd always call him! After the movies, we were on the way home... and the clock read the time of when it happened, my dad turned to me and said, "I'm sorry HoLLy"... and quickly replied..."it's ok dad..." as I was struggling to speak, tears now pouring out of my eyes, drowning my face...I held it all in, till we arrived home, and let it all out in my bedroom, face down on my pillow, Teddy Graham in my arms... (the bear you gave me for our "3 months"... who we'd pretend like he was our "son!")
Mud (mom) + Pappa's (dad) miss you dearly... they see me struggle, but I try to hide the pain and hurt I endure every moment of every day...
I will hate this day forever, and know that everyday that passes is one day closer until the day we will "reunite" once again... I can't wait to see your beautiful, smiling face, and get a BIG BEAR HUG from YOU!!! I loved those the best!!! I felt so protected in your arms, like know one else in the world could harm me. Down below are some song lyrics that I dedicate to you Mike...
Always Remember OUR Dream:
*big house, 5 dogs(since we hated hats & i'm allergic), NO KIDS, alot of sports cars*(corvette's camaro's, & of course FIREBIRDS!!!)
(4,8,11,14,16,18,2 5,182,306,311,510,831)
I Love You Michael Wayne "Buddy" Pistori"US" always & forever...-n- "even after"...
Song Lyrics:
~Celion Dion~ "Because You Loved Me"
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
~Audioslave~ "Like A Stone"
In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone I'll wait for you there
Alone
~3 Doors Down~ "When I'm Gone"
There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Maybe I'm just blind...
Maybe I'm just blind...
[chorus]
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
But you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
[end chorus]
Love me when I'm gone...
When your education x-ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Now roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone
[chorus]
Maybe I'm just blind...
[chorus]
Love me when I'm gone...
Love me when I'm gone
When I'm Gone
When I'm Gone
When I'm Gone
~3 Doors Down~ "Here Without You"
A hundred days have made me older, since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face
I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there’s only you and me
The miles just keep rolling as the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated but I hope that this gets better as we go
I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there’s only you and me
Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there’s only you and me
I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl, there’s only you and me
~Simple Plan~ "Meet You There"
Now you're gone, I wonder why you left me here, I think about it on and on again
I know you're never coming back, but I hope that you can hear, i'm waiting to hear from you, until i do...
You're gone away, I'm left alone, a part of me is gone, and I'm not moving on, so wait for me, i know the day will come...
I'll meet you there, no matter where life takes me to, i'll meet you there, and even if i need you here, i'll meet you there...
I wish I could have told you the words I kept inside, but now I guess it's just too late, so many things remind me of you, I hope that you can hear me...i miss you...this is goodbye, one last time...
and where i go you'll be there with me, forever you'll beright here with me...
I'll meet you there, no matter when life takes me, I'll meet you there... and even if I need you, I'll meet you there"....
P.S. "I Love You MiKe"...
P.S.S.
"I'll Meet You There"...........
*squeezes hand "11" times"
Prayer: "God, Take the very breath you gave me... take my heart from my chest... i'll gladly take his place if you'll let me... make this my last request... Take me out of this world... But God please... Don't take the Boy..."
HoLLy Rasmussen
June 11, 2004
To My One & Only...
Hey sweetheart, it's June 11, 2004, the day before the day that changed our world forever. It's 4:45 a.m. and I'm struggling to get to sleep...I miss you more than words could ever explain Mike...
I Love You...always & forever -n- "even after"
*big house, 5 dogs, NO KIDS, alot of sports cars*
(4,8,11,14,25,182,306,311,510,831 )
love forever & always, your heart-broken rockshow girl...~HoLLy~ (mp)
Heidi Rundgren
May 18, 2004
I'm working from home today (thank goodness b/c tears are flowing down my cheeks). As I opened up my e-mail, I rec'd the link to your guest book? Still not sure how or why this message just now came to me...as I open it and begin reading the different entries...I know I need to write you a little something as well.
Mike, we didn't know each other very long, but you will never believe how much you touch my life. I remember hiring you (at HP) just 2 weeks before I left for maternity leave with the birth of my son, Corbin.
Over the months, you and I talked alot about different things. You were such a good kid and so dependable.
Still to this day, I think of you, Mike EVERYDAY. You truly touch my life the short while I knew you.
I remember too, the day you told me you were getting a bike. I remember telling you how much I hated them. I know you remember everyday when I would tell you to be careful. Or on those days when it looked like rain outside and i would ask if you were on your bike. I'd tell you to go home early before it started raining.
There are no words to describe the way I feel about your loss and I was simply a friend, your boss.
We moved offices not too long ago and I found an id of yours (I think it was from school). I took it over to Don Greenwood immediately already with tear-filled eyes. We talked quite awhile about you. We decided we should send it to your mom. I decided I would do it. I went out and bought a card, started writing in it with the intention of sending it to her. I never could come up with the right words to express my thoughts. I still have the id and the card in my desk drawer.
Mike, I am now six months pregnant with my second (and last) child. We found out it was a girl - Kylee Ryan. She is due in early Sept. We have our house up for sale and are building in Tomball. Though life does go on, you are still thought of everyday. Each day when I drive down Mills Rd, pass the church and pass your neighborhood...everyday I pass by your office (I'm still on the same floor, so yes, everyday when I pass by YOUR office). Each time I see a bike...I still HATE them. :)
You'll always be remembered. Take care.
Heidi Rundgren
HoLLy Rasmussen
May 16, 2004
To My One & Only...
Hey sweetheart...Last year, my Prom... 03'... May 16... you were seeing someone else at the time as was i... but how I wished you were my prom date... something I had been waiting for, for 4 years, and that moment had finally came... I had on a beautiful white, princess dress and as my aunt saw me, she said, "Wow, you are going to make a beautiful wife one day." I smiled to myself because in my dreams I had always dreamt, several years down the road, you would be standing at the end of the church aisle awaiting me as my dad walked me down, to let me go to you...this man of my dreams, my best friend, my everything... my one & only....
I Love You Michael Wayne Pistorius... always & forever -n- "even after"...
~till death do us part & "even after"~
love always, your brokenhearted Rockshow Gal ~HoLL-DoLL~ (mp)
(4,8,11,14,16,17,182,306,51 0,831)
*big house, 5 dogs, NO KIDS, alot of sports cars* = our dream...
.....always
~*~My Everything~*~
The loneliness of nights so long
The search for strength to carry on
My every hope had seemed to die
My eyes had no more tears to cry
Then like the sun shined from up above
You surrounded me with your endless love
And all the things I couldn't see
Are now so clear to me
You are my everything
Nothing your love won't bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray on bended knee
That you will always be
My everything
Now all my hopes and all my dreams
Are suddenly reality
You've opened up my heart to feel
The kind of love that's truly real
A guiding light that'll never fade
There's not a thing in life that I would ever trade
For the love you give and won't let go
I hope you'll always know
You're the breath of life in me
The only one that sets me free
And you have made my soul complete
For all time
For all time
Jeramy Norsworthy
April 21, 2004
Mike,
its been a long time since i have written anything in here. i got a really old role of film devoloped the other day and it had a picture of you playing my guitar. it was that time we went to jasons brothers space in that really weird garage with the freaky dolls and stuffed animals. remember how long it took us to get there cuz we went down 610 west when we were supposed to be going east or something like that. it was a fun time. well i know all is going well up there. take care bud.
Jeramy
Jayme Wentzel
April 19, 2004
~*~Mike~*~
It is still so hard to face the fact that you're gone. It still hurts so bad. I went to Kayla's house Saturday night and we sat out side and talked about you for so long. She misses you soo much too, and all she ever talks about was you holding her hand when she got her tattoo last June of Mason's name and how you kept telling her everything would be okay. Mike she loved you to death for the way you treated her and the way you did things for her. Well Kaylee just turned one, I really wish you where here to watch her grow up. I will never forget when I was pregnant and you use to always play with my tummy so she would kick you those were the awesome times. It is so hard knowing that your gone. It seems like yesterday when Travis and I would go to Eric's and you would ask us when we were going to move into a 3 bedroom so you could move in with us. Everytime someone say's Mike I just freeze and ask my self why can't they be talking about you. It's just never the same because there will always be the one and only you no one can ever take your place in my heart. Always remember I will always love you! Dont ever forget that! **tears** forever and foralways
love always,
jayme ann
HoLLy Rasmussen
April 11, 2004
To My One & Only...
Hey sweetheart, another holiday without you... Happy Easter MiKe...
I Love You... my heart aches...*TeArS*
luv always, your heartbroken rockshow gal 4ever, your HoLL-DoLL
=(
HoLLy Rasmussen
March 14, 2004
To My One & Only:
Hey sweetheart... how are you doing babe? It's March 14, 2004... one year ago today, we were heading back from the track... Eric, Court, You, and me... We made our stop at the Sam's Club parking lot where we always usually went after a full day at track. I remember you telling me as we were getting out of the suburban that Eric and you were going to talk to some people you knew that had bikes so you could ride around the parking lot. I, not liking bikes, decided to stay in the car, because I hated knowing you wanted one, let alone, you going to try to find one to ride. I sat there in the suburban and played games on my cell phone to pass the time, while occasionally looking around the parking lot to see if I could spot you guys, hopefully just talking and not riding. You guys came back about 20 min later, because the cops were coming to break up the "meeting of sports cars." We then decided to pull into another parking lot, (the O'Reailly one), right off of 249. We all got out of the suburban and ventured over to the center of the parking lot where you spotted a friend....who had a bike. I remember you trying on your friends helmet, and you put it on backwards to where you couldn't see anything. You were saying..."Hey guys, I'm ready to ride the bike!" You were being funny, as you always are, and everyone around laughed, obviosuly cause you couldn't see from the hemet being on backwards. You took it off, and proceeded to ask your friend if you could ride it. Your friend hesitated, and then said "no" because you were inexperinced!!! I *sighed* a sigh of relieve because I was dreading you riding that bike. Another guy asked to ride your friend's bike, and your friend said yes to this guy only because he had one of his own, he was experienced. You, having been let down because you weren't able to ride the bike, decided to sit in the suburban... I came with you, me sitting in the passanger seat, while Eric and Court were still talking outside with everyone. We talked in the suburban while lsitening to our favoirte music and I told you I was hungry.. then you said, "Let me go get you something!" I told you I was fine, yet you had to make me happy, because whatever I wanted, you got it for me... so we yelled out to Eric that we would go to a fast food place, and be right back and asked if they wanted anything! they declined so we started the suburban, went about 2cm, and you stopped the suburban to a hault, out the car in park, and ran full speed across the parking lot. Myself, unaware of what was going on, slowly emerged, somewhat timid, and scared as to what was going on. Everyone started walking over to a yellow speed bump in the back of the parking lot. It was the guy who was driving around your friend's bike. He had been going around the lot, accidentally hit the speed bump, and wiped out. You helped the guy up, he was fine. The bike was slightly scraped up, but he wa fine, and that's all that mattered. Your friend wasn't even mad his bike got scraped up, because as long as the guy was ok, that's all that mattered. I remember everyone walking back, conversing again... and you kept looking at the bike and then the guy... and kept saying..."I'm so glad that wasn't me, I'm so glad that wasn't me..." You knew you were "suppossed" to be riding on that bike, but your friend had said no. Even the "experienced" guy still fell off. I too in my heart was saying..."I'm soo glad that wasn't you Mike, I'm soo glad that wasn't you!" I never wanted to tell you how I felt about those bikes because I wanted to be the kewl girlfriend who let their boyfriend get something they've always wnanted, but deep down you knew how much I HATED them... because I had told you so many times before. I remember it like it was just today. You running full speed, in the flash of a light, you were right by that guys side, you were the first one to get to the guy, people that were very close to where it happened, didn't even come, till you were there several seconds before everyone else was. I can still hear your voice saying..."I'm soo glad that wasn't me, I'm soo glad that wasn't me!" I know, you being the sweetheart that you were, was saying that because the fact that you might have somehow damaged your friends bike, but also that that could have been you on the bike, falling off, and having been hurt! I wish I would have been the first one to reach you babe, I would have run soo fast, without a care, I wish I would have been there to catch you, to hold you, to hug you, and tell you everything would be ok, and you were just fine. I wish I would have been there Mike, although It would have been unbearable to see I couldn't help you, I wish I would have been by my baby's side, talking to you, holding you, telling you... "see what happens Mike, DON'T EVER ride that bike again...I love you"... but I never got that chance. I remember our little inside joke of when you were unconscious when you got your concussion in Colorado while you were skiing. After that happened, we were talking one day, and we said... if we were ever unconscious or in a coma... how would we know it was you or me, by each other's side? We decided since Blink 182, 1+8+2=11, that we would squeeze each other's hand 11 times, and the other person would do it back, to know it was you or me by eahc other's side, and that we could respond... When we would be holding hands as a couple, I remember we'd squeeze each other's hnds 11 times, and eveytime one of us cut it off, at 8 squeezez or 10, you'd say..."Holly, that was only 8, i counted, do it over!!!" I insisted that I did it 11 times, it was just fast! But you insisted that I do it correctly, 11 times! I MISS YOU soo much Mike... Weird thing is, my mom and me went shopping at Sam's today and she took the short cut home which ended up going right past the "o'Reilly" parking lot...one year ago today you were saying... "I'm so glad that wasn't me"... now you left me... I looked down at the car mats so I wouldn't have to see the lot. As my eyes began to fill with tears, my mom was confused as to what was going on. I told her I was fine, because she will never understand the hurt I feel...It hasn't even been a year, it still feels so unreal...I wish we could go back to 2003 of March 14th, and say..."I'm so glad that wasn't me, I'm so glad that wasn't me"... and me knowing you were still safe one more day with me.
I Love You Michael Wayne Pistori"us"....always -n- forever & "even after!"
*big house, 5 dogs, NO KIDS, alot of sports cars*
(7, 8, "11", 14, 25, 510, 831, 306)
Love always, your heartbroken rockshow girl forever, HoLL-DoLL *TeArS*
(I'll forever wish I could take your place sweetheart)
"I wish it would have been me Mike, I wish it would have been me..."
Blink 182- "I Miss You"
Kelly Ford
March 9, 2004
Mike,
I wish I had gotten to know you better than I did. You were an amazing person and always full of surprises. Even now, a year later I can still look back at the things we did together and it'll still bring a smile to my face. You were one of the few nice guys in the world. You taught me things about myself that I needed to learn.
Thank you,
Kelly
Let your heart always see, what your eyes sometimes cannot.
HoLLy Rasmussen
March 7, 2004
To My One & Only,
Hey Sweetheart, how are you babe? Today is March 7th, 2004...one year ago today,March 2003, we were at the track; Eric, Courtney, You, and Me. Eric had let you drive his camaro the last time we ran it for the night and the camaro stopped working when you were finished racing it. Even though it was only temporarily broke, and wasn't even your fault, you still felt horrible. On the way back, I remember you sat on top of the speakers in the back of Eric's Suburban because you felt so bad, and wanted to exclude yourself. You hated soo much that you had driven the camaro and it happened to break down, when Eric didn't even care. You had such a gentle heart, and always felt bad when you somehow thought you did something wrong, when you never did. After the track, we decided to go meet all the other sports car people at the Sam's Club parking lot. You were hungry and we both know how we get when were hungry... and thats grumpy! I had picked up my car from Eric's, and together, we drove over to meet Eric and Court at Sam's, who were in the subarban. Once there, I decided to let Courtney test drive my firebird since she wanted one as well! We got back to the parking lot, having left yall, and I knew you were still hungry! I told you I was going to get gas since I was low, but instead used that as an excuse to go and surprise you by going to Jack -n- the Box...and buying you a Jumbo Jack, with the $1 I had! =) Luckily, it was still open, but the line was long, and luckily when I got back, yall were still there! I gave you the Jumbo Jack, and you were soo surprised! =) I loved doing those things for you, especially when you least expected them! Doing those kinda things for you made me soo happy because I was doing it for somehow I loved and cared for so much, and always will. I had to leave for the evening, and Eric, Court, and You, drove back to Eric's. I drove home and anticiapted a call from you to make sure you were home safe. You called and told me you were gonna come over after you got your mom's car from your house, but thought it was too late. It's never too late for you to come over, not for you babe, 3 o'clock in the morning, whatever time it would have been...it was never to late for YOU. The 4th of March, 2003... you were at the 24 hr. fitness off of Louetta and Kuykendahl. You were working out with Corey. Being only minutes away from my house, you thought to call me, and ask to stop by! I was soo excited, I hadn't heard from you since February 14th, let alone I hadn't seen you in about 3 months!!! It was about 11p.m.,you said you and Corey were on Cypresswood, and I was scambling around, trying to get all dolled up, and find some kute clothes, before you came! I was in my pj's so I was throwing slothes everywhere! I opted to wear a kute, gray tank and my klein shorts, with my visor to try to cover my matted down hair! You and Corey pulled up in his Dodge Ram, black truck,and I came outside, running over to the passanger side where you were. You guys let me in and sitting by you again was undescribable!!! We were all talking and all I was thinking about was how lucky I was to be sitting by you again Mike, after so long. I remember Corey and you talking about the concert you both were going to in August. You were soooooooo excited! You were just like, "I can't wait till that concert man." I still can hear your voice now. I asked if you wanted some drinks and or food, and ya'll said no since Corey's parents were going to make pancakes for you guys!!! At 11p.m., pancakes, but guys will be guys, and that's what I loved about you, among the many other countless things. You walked me back to my door, and asked if I was dating anyone. I replied no, and you go, "Are you sure, I don't want to interfere with anything?" I was like "no!" (thinking to myself, "oh my gosh, he is actually asking if I have a bf, which means he might want to go back out with me again!!!!!")I was seriously on cloud 9, you asked me what I was doing the 6th of March, 2003... with nothing planned, you invited me to the Rodeo... I hadn't been since I was 8, and you had asked ME to go, out of all the girls who you could have asked, you asked ME!!! =) You then preceded to ask me what I was doing that Saturday as well, which was March 7th, 2003, and you invited me to the track! Yep, you invited ME, I felt sooo lucky!!! =) March 6th, 2003, I picked you up from work at Hewlett Packard, where we drove to your house so you could chance. I remember going into your mom's bathroom, you brushing your teeth, and when you put down your arm to turn on the faucet, you felt your mom's curling iron, which was still on from that morning!!! We then left your house, and decided to eat at Subway... where we met "the weird guy" and "shared a cookie!" That was the best! =) You didn't let me pay either!!!*grrr* Having left Subway, I remember you driving on the freeway, we were holding hands, you having one hand on the steering wheel and saying, "So Holly, what are you thinking about.. what were you going to tell me?" I was like "oops I forgot!" But you begged for me to tell you! I gave in to you, like I always do, after seeing your puppy face you made... I told you I had missed you since the day we broke up, and every bf after him wasn't ever the same. When I was with a guy, I always thought of you, and how we used to do things, from the anniversaries, to our make believe "children" which were my stuffed animals and how we'd bring them to the movie theater and have a seperate seat for them, we'd even get babysitters!... i never did that with any of my other bf's... now granted, that was a little extreme, but it was only with you that i could be myself, and not care what other people thought. I was comfortable with you, I could be myself... I ultimately missed my best friend. You told me you felt the same, while tears rolled down my face. You told me, "Please don't cry.." and I said "i'm sorry Mike, they are happy tears, I've been waiting to hear those words you just said for so long!" We then proceeded to talk about our future and how much fun we would have together again finally... and thinking of how long we had waited before figuring out we were wasting our time on all the wrong people! I remmeber sitting in traffic getting there, and you did a peel out just to show off! We parked and rode the shuttle, which again you didn't let me pay for!! You talked of going to Oklahoma for school, in reagrds to being a pilot! We discussed moving up to OK, and going to college together! We were sitting on the shuttle, I was rubbing your arm, soooo happy, and I remember you saying... "This feels soo right, you know Holly?... I smiled at your beautiful face with tear filled eyes, and that was all you needed to know, to know that I too agreed that it felt soo right to be with each other. We finally got to our seats, sitting there, talking about our future as a couple, and how we always used to talk all kutsie when we were together before, you said... "Holly, do you take this man to be your husband?" I smiled at you and said, "I do....always and forever...and even after!" He smiled and said that's the type of thing that Mormon's say at their wedding cermeonies... the forever after part while having mirrors behind each other! I looked at an elderly couple sitting directly in front of us, and i said, "That'll be us in 60 yrs., you smiled and said... "Yes, it will be." =) Throughout the concert portion of the rodeo, I wanted to kiss you soo bad, but you told me I had to wait!!! You kept teasing me by getting close to me and backing away!!! The evening ended and I had to go to the bathroom in the port-o- pot, when I got out of the thing, you were standing right in front of it, as so no one would in anyway harm or take me away... you were protecting me! We walked hand and hand back to the shuttle, and rode in the part of the shuttle where its an acordian, or however you spell it! the white, slinky part, you said we should sit there because we got to feel a circular motion when the slinky would move! and we did, we were on a bench of our own in the slinky part, and I laid my head on your sholder, closing my eyes, feeling like myself again, feeling i got my life back, being in love with the man of my dreams. We got to the car, you opened the door for me. You got in the driver's side, and you started the heat since it was a bit cold, then you looked at me with your baby blue eyes. You said, "May I kiss you now?" I laughed and said "of course silly, make me wait long enough!" It felt soo good to again...kiss a man I loved and cared for so much!!! =) We drove back to your house, said our goodbye's for the night, our hour long goodbye's where we can never leave each other, and then we decide we have to leave sometime... and I started my car, and waited for you to get in your door, you opened it, and you looked back and smiled, ... i waved and blew a kiss out my window... I drove away, looking in my rear view mirror at your house, as it got smaller and smaller as I got farther away. I was taking it all in, how lucky I was to have my 1st love bck in my life, and how I was taken by the best man in the world. How lucky I was to be with "Michael Wayne Pistori"us"!" How he could have picked any other girl, and he actually picked me!!! I Thank God every night you were placed in my life Mike, how lucky was I, how lucky was I... I'll always wish for March 6th, 2003, to be everyday, I'd want to relive those moments with you forever and ever..."and even after"....
I LOVE YOU MICHAEL WAYNE PISTORI"US"... always -n- forever... "and even after"....
*big house, 5 dogs, NO KIDS, alot of sports cars*
(8, 11, 14, 510, 306, 831, 182)
Love always, your heartbroken rockshow girl forever...
~HoLL-DoLL~ *tears*
Song: "Calling You" -by Blue October
Lyrics: "I will keep calling you to see, if your sleeping, are you dreaming, if your dreaming, are you dreaming of me... I can't believe you actually picked me"...
-how lucky am i, how lucky am i...
*TeArS*
HoLLy Rasmussen
February 14, 2004
Happy Valentine's Day...I Love You Mike! =( *tears 4ever*
luv always -n- 4eva, your rockshow gal ~HoLL-DoLL~
Blink 182-"I Miss You"
HoLLy Rasmussen
January 29, 2004
*(continuation of previous entry)*
To My One & Only:
Hey sweetheart...I'm about to go to bed, as January 28th is at a close. I'll hold my cell phone near my heart tonight, and dream of your awaiting call. "I Love You Mike." Please help me make it through... please... It's taking my life away... ~HoLL-DoLL~
(dedication: January 28th, 2003)
HoLLy Rasmussen
January 28, 2004
To My One & Only:
Hey sweetheart...It's January 28th, 2004. I hate typing the year 2004, because I'll always yearn for the years before. I don't even type it on the headings of my college papers and when my teachers point it out to me, I just ignore their requests. This time, last year, we had ended on friendly terms, I had last seen you Dec. 26, 2002 at Starbucks. That night you lended me Eric's jacket from the suburban, since it was cold outside. I said I ddin't want to wear it, since you were cold as well. I wanted you to wear the jacket... and if you didn't I wanted to suffer and bear the cold with you, yet you demanded I put it on b/c you wanted me to be warm. We hadn't talked since then, and then 2003 came and it was mid January, and I for sure thought you had forgotten about me. However, on January 28th, 2003, while lying down on my bed, listening to Blink 182, I heard my cell phone ring. I looked at the caller id to see "Mike" flash on the screen!!! I was soo excited, I dropped the phone before I could even answered it. Once I did answer, you told me you wanted to check up on me , say whats up, and make sure things were good in my life, as if you were my protector from the evil world, my little angel sent from God. I was sooo happy after you had called. I had a permanent smile on my face, for at least a week after... the only reason why the smile ended was b/c i couldn't call you my own anymore. I remember the call just like it was tonite at this very moment, hearing your adorable voice say, "Hey Holly, it's Mike." I will always wonder if you ever really knew how much I loved you Mike. Tonight, as I'm sitting here in my appartment, I see my cell phone sitting here beside me, however it's not ringing.... all is silent, and I yearn to hear your voice. I can see you picking up the phone and dialing my #, one year ago today. It was such a good feeling to know you still thought of me...i ALWAYS thought of you babe. The phone still isn't ringing, and when it does and I look at the caller id, I always see someone else's name. Why Mike, why? Please give me an answer. This is taking my life away. 7 months now, and it still hurts, as if it was the day when I found out the news that would forever change my life. This isn't fair, I don't know how much more I can take of all this pain, it's unbearable. Everyone thinks I'm fine, but it's just a front. I don't want to share my feelings... they will never understand the hurt I feel, EVER. I'm going to end this entry, i hate writing in this guest book. It takes me forever just to type in the site name, and the the links you have to click on just to get here......*sigh* I look away as soon as I type in your last name as they display your guest book. I'm not a GUEST, I'm supposed to be a BEST FRIEND to you, my 1st LOVE, my first heart break... and now..... my forever changed life... a life that isn't even my own anymore. You took my heart with me when you left, and now I'm completely lost. "You complete me Mike." Your my other half... and i'm lost without you here. Please tell me what to do, because I'm running out of (make me feel better)answers to the endless questions I'll forever ask... especially WHY? I LOVE YOU MICHAEL WAYNE PISTORI"US" always
-n- forever... and "even after." You are my everything...
Love always & forever -n- even after, your heart-broken rockshow-gal forever, ~HoLL-DoLL~
*big house, 5 dogs, NO KIDS, alot of sports cars!!!*
(510, 182, 8, 11, 14, 28, 831, 306)
*TeArS* =,(
HoLLy Rasmussen
January 8, 2004
Hey sweetheart,
Tonight around 8pm I went to your house to visit with your mom, Jon, and Jeramy. Your dog Lucky ran right up to me wagging her tail as if she "just knew." I sat by your mom on the big couch and Jon and Jer sat in the other one as we talked. All I could do was sit there and listen to them talk of old stories of what you guys used to do, and how you hated when people got mad at each other, you always wanted everyone to be happy... Your mom also talked about how when she'd get up in the morning and all the kids would be asleep and she'd be all cheerful and awake while everyone would complain to her to be quiet because ya'll we're still trying to sleep. She also mentioned how people would your house real late and your mom would get so agitated! It reminds me of when I'd call your cell real late at night and you'd be in your room and you'd be whispering because your wall is right by your mom's bedroom. You'd sometimes even would go to the next room to your, or even the garage just so we could have a normal conversation where I could hear you! Sometimes your mom would even wake up and you'd hear her getting up from bed.. and you'd go "got to go, bye" and when you would say that, i knew your mom was near! She also talked about the evening before the event, you were making something in the kitchen by the microwave and you were carrying on a conversation with your mom about how you weren't ever gonna marry and NEVER have kids. It was funny to hear that because I remember as a couple, we'd joke around saying when we'd get married many years from know, we weren't going to have any kids, not because we didn't like them, but because they were STRESS, with their poopy diapers, and excessive crying! We didn't want to deal with that! We just wanted a big house, "5 dogs" to serve as "our kids", alot of sports cars, and time to go on vacation as a married couple. It was cool when your mom said you guys talked about that because I knew we always thought the same on that matter. She also said she was thinking about moving out of the house and how you said you weren't ever gonna move. If you were to move, you'd be coming with the house! That's sooo you MiKe, i can just see you saying that. i would have definetly bought the house if YOU can with it. (Couch $500, House $80,000+, YOU = priceless)When we were all walking out, from the corner of my eye, i could see your room, lights off, door open, and an emptiness. When we were putting on our shoes, your mom mentioned I didn't say much. The reason why is because I really just wanted to listen to your mom and best friends talk. It felt soo good sitting there with them all as they talked about you. I guess it's hard also for me to be in front of your friends versus being one on one with ur mom and family beacause I know your friends meant the world to you and it was just hard seeing them knowing you should be right there sitting on the couch with them. As we were walking out the door, I was the last to give your mom a hug, and I held her, it's like I didn't want to let go because I felt for a second it was as if I was holding on to a part of you. I can't see the screen anymore so that's my Q to sign off.
*big house, 5 dogs, NO KIDS, alot of sports cars*
(510,306,14,11,8,182,831,311 )
I LOVE YOU MICHAEL WAYNE "BUDDY" PISTORI"US"... always -n- forever
-n- "even after."
your heartbroken rockshow gal forever~HoLL-DoLL~ *tears*
HoLLy Rasmussen
January 1, 2004
To My One & Only,
It's 12:02 a.m., January 1st, 2004. Happy New Year Mike. It's now raining...the heavens are crying, and so am I. I love you Mike.
~HoLLy~
HoLLy Rasmussen
December 26, 2003
Hey sweetheart,
Merry Christmas! I went to see Colleen this morning, I gave her your star. Your house just isn't the same without you, nor will it ever be. Today, was very difficult for me, I miss you so much babe. I remember this always used to be your favorite time of year. I remember when you used to go up to Colorado when you spent Christmas there, and tell me of all your ventures about snowboarding. You loved going snowboarding! I remember at this time last year (dec 26th), when we were broken up, I to starbucks on 1960 and saw you there with Eric and the other car people who always met up around that time. I wanted to get you jealous so I had one of my guy friends, you know him..."salad boy" pretend he was my boyfriend and asked him to hold my hand while walking past you. This was all in attempts to make you jealous and for you to somehow notice me! Gosh, I was so crazy! That's how in love with you I was Mike, too the point of having a guy friend pose as my boyfriend, pathetic huh? I'm going to make this short, because my eyes are to teary-eyed to see the screen! I love you more than life itself, and Christmas will never be the same... ever. Here's a poem for you this Christmas day! I love you Michael Wayne "Buddy" Pistori"us"... always -n- forever -n- even after!
Today as I stood by your grave
I looked up toward the sky
And wondered if there was a God
And if there was - just why -
He had to take you from us,
He had to make you die.
If he knew how much we need you,
how much we miss you so,
Perhaps he would have left you here
and not have made you go.
If he knew the pain of losing you
How hard it is to bear
Perhaps he would let us know
that you are really there -
Up in his heaven, safe with him.
With no more troubles, no more sins.
That you are happy and content,
that you are well, - and that death meant -
Another beginning, not the end,
and only then can my heart mend.
So God, please show me that you care,
Let me know my Mike is there
Love always, your heartbroken rockshow gal....
HoLLDoLL *tears*
HoLLy Rasmussen
December 22, 2003
To My 1st Love,
Hey sweetheart... A little over 4 hours ago tonite (Dec21), I was sitting on your couch at your house, the couch we'd always used to sit on when we'd watch movies, hang out,play x-box on and talk on. I had been avoiding your house for 6 months now, but I knew I had to go... I just had too. I couldn't call Jeramy, Jon, or Eric for support. I needed to do this alone. The drive there was hard..."Rest in Peace" came on 94.5 as I was nearing Bushycreek, ur street. It was as if it was a sign from you, that it would be ok, that I was going to a house where the people who loved you the most would be. It was lonely sitting on that couch without you there by my side. I got to sit and talk with your Brother David, Kinsey, and your mom. It was soo great to see them, and talk with them. It's such a relief knowing someone understands how you feel. When i was sitting there in the living room, soaking in everything that was being said, I felt soo close to you Mike. It's almost as if you were there. They were explaining the accident, how it occurred, how the phone calls came about... it was all so so-real. How could the one thing you dreamed of wanting your whole life, ur bike, have taken ur own life? HOW?!! WHY?! Then you play the mind games of "What if?" What if he would have stayed home, what if he never got the bike, what if u came home that night after ur mom called... then would it have never happened?!!! You just gooo crazy!!! *sigh* Your mom let Lucky in and she ran right to me! It's as if she remembered me, and knew I was somehow connected to you. She sat right by me, wagging her tail as I petted her. I remember whenever I'd come over, I'd see lucky from the backyard sliding window, and you'd let her in just for me!!! She has her big poof ball, thick coat for the winter. She's soo adorable. I got to meet "Beva", David and Kinsey's new dog, it's soo kute. But Lucky will be the winner for the best dog in the world, not only because of how adorbale she is, but that she was YOUR dog. That's why she's the best. Your mom also played a tape that she had found of you recording yourself making high/low notes with your voice, and talking of where you lived throughout growing up, from Arizona with the hot summers and somwhat cold winters, to Tx. Gosh, I'm soo happy you came to Tx. I would have never found you babe, some other gal in Arizona would have snatched ya before I had a chance. You said you were about to turn 16 and you were soo excited b/c u'd get to drive! It was sooo great to hear ur voice Mike. It was soo real. You were soo funny and absolutely kute sounding, but it also hurt, because I will forever long to hear that voice in person. I miss that voice that i'd hear on the phone after I'd had a bad day. You always had something to say that would cheer me up no mater how crummy of a day I had. Talking to you was the hi-light of my day, no matter what I was doing, if I saw ur name on caller-id, i'd rush to answer it! Now adays, my cell will ring, and I so long to see your #... "Mike's Cell" come up on the caller id, but it's never you. It's just someone else. =( Online is the same way, my little Mpistol510 isn't there to instant message me with some endearing thought or something hilarious you thought of. I just see people on my buddy list, who aren't Mpistol510, I just see buddies who don't understand how I feel and never will. When I was sitting there, so intrigued and in the moment of being in the presence of your beloved family, I felt so at ease and calm being surrounded by the people who loved you the most... as you loved them. I can't describe the feeling. When I was talking about you, I couldn't hold back the tears, and after I shed my first tear... of many, David & Kinsey also joined with tear-filled eyes. It's as if everyone was thinking the same thing,and feels every ounce of pain that I do, just in different ways. Your brother as your brother, your mom as a mom losing her son, a sister -n- law, and me, you being my 1st love. We all hurt differently, but we share that common bond of missing and loving the one person who meant the world to us... you. I shared stories that we'd never dare tell. I told them of our "trip to Galveston" at 2am in the morning just because we wanted too, sleeping in a parking lot in my car at 4amand waking up at the same time when we'd hear foot-steps of people walking by,and me hiding behind ur house after homecoming b/c u said u were going to eric's when really u were going back to my house! Of course there is more adventors, but some things are just b/w me and you babe, and always will be. On the way out, your mom went into your room to get a shirt you had in a bag for me but I guess had forgotten about. It's a shirt you bought me when you went to Aspen... it's so me! You knew exactly what to get me... No one will ever know me as well as you do, no one. Just walking by your room gave me a lump in my throat, I looked in for a split second and knew I couldn't walk any further... I can just see you know, getting dressed for our dates on the weekends, putting in a cd in ur stereo and ur mom yelling at us to turn it down b/c we'd blast it, i see us sitting on the edge of ur bed while you played the guitar, i can see us plotting to somehow trick ur mom into believing that Lucky had pooped in the house when she really hadn't, and i can see us slow dancing in the middle of your room to my favorite song on our "american pie" cd, #8...the song title was,"I'm always getting over you." And that's true, I was never over you when we broke up, and now... I'll never be, that that I ever would be over you. Your stuck in my heart Mike, sorry. Your brother keeps your cell is his pocket, which is soo sweet. I remember you always having it in your pocket, wherever you were, you always wore those torn-up kaki shorts with holes in them, and your cell would be in the pocket...always! I remember me going thru the directory of ur cell, and every ex-gf, I'd just look at you, and you'd delete the #. I didn't have to say anything. Then you did the same with my cell, deleting all the guys... who will never ever compare to you... ever! You are my everything! This poem below is something that I can see you saying to all of us, down from heaven...
*When tomorrow starts without me*
When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It almost seemed impossible
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you.
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
I Love you Michael Wayne Pistori"us"... always -n- forever..."and even after!"
(510, 306, 182, 11, 14, 8, 311, 831)
*big house, 5 dogs, no kids, alot of sports cars*
P.S. I brought over everything you ever wrote me or gave me when we were together and even when we werent, so now ur family will have the inside scoop of our relationship! Your whole family will get to see what an amazing boyfriend you were and how lucky and blessed I was too be with you. I'm soo fortunate I got to be with you... together or not, you made me the happiest girl alive, and now you have made me the saddest girl.
P.S.S. I'm stopping by Christmas morning to drop off a gift for your family... please help me make it thru... Mike, please tell me everything will be ok...
Your heart-broken rock-show girl,
~HoLLDoLL~ *tears*
HoLLy Rasmussen
December 15, 2003
To My One & Only:
Hey sweetheart! December 14th 2003, would have been three years today from the very day you asked me out...(Dec. 14th,2000) it was the happiest day of my life! I remember you sitting in the backseat of my car, while I drove and my friend was in the passenger side beside me. You were whispering something to her and as we were sitting at a red light at Cutten and Louetta, you go, "Holly, will you go out with me?" I was soo exacted, I almost started driving when the light was still red! You said you wanted to do it all special with a teddy bear and candy, but that you just had to ask me right then and there! We didn't even realize the 14th would be the perfect date because our 2 month would fall on Valentine's day which is also your mom's b-day! I remember dropping you off at your house after you had asked me the question I was sooo wanting you to ask, and as I'm driving home, going over the speed limit on Jones from being overly excited, and happy, I got a ticket from a cop! You had warned me not to go on Jones, I should have listened! You were always right. Yesterday was a hard day, as is ever day! I couldn't write you yesterday because the heartache was too much to bear. I hate coming to this site, I never wanted to be writing you notes here! I hate it all sweetheart, I just don't understand why. I try to hide my feelings because no one really understands...they never will. The girl I've been talking to who also lost her 1st love, wrote a poem to him. His name happened to be Michael as well...it must be a sign. I dedicate this poem to you MiKe! I love you with all my heart and soul Michael Wayne Pistori"us"... forever -n- ever after! *big house, 5 dogs, no kids, alot of sports cars!*
(182,510,11 & 14!!!!!)
I'm adding a new # to our list.. it's 831 coming from "I love you." Eight is how many letters there are, 3 is how many words, and one is how many meanings the saying has.
I love you sweetheart!
Poem Dedicated to My One & Only.....
*~*MiKe*~*
Saying goodbye is never easy
It's the hardest thing to do
But what hurts even more
Is not the chance to say it to you.
Yesterday is just a memory
Our laughter was sunny and bright
Then clouds started to gather
For you were no where in sight.
You were my first real love
And this I will never forget
How you left without a warning
No good-byes, my only regret.
Wherever I may be now
Always searching for another so true
To place my world of emotion
Handing my love to someone like you.
If again I must go there
And experience all the pain
I would do it in a minute
For all the good I would gain.
No matter what my wrongs
You offered only love
Until the day you left me
For your new home up above.
I know you still are with me
Your love is within my heart
Though life is no longer present
Our souls will never part.
This is given to you in honor
Of all that we did share
I just wanted you to know,
How much I really did care.
Happy 3 year anniversary!!! I love you now and forever and even after MiKe! Your my everything... my One & Only...
*tears* your heartbroken, rockshowgirl always...~HoLLDoLL~
HoLLy Rasmussen
December 12, 2003
To My 1st love, My Dearest MiKe always...
6 months, words can't even describe how I feel. I still can't believe you left us, and I'll never understand why. Everyone is saying "time heals all wounds," but this heartache will never heal. Blink 182, our favoritest band in the whole wide world came out with their newest album. I can't even listen to them anymore. I have ALL their cd's, but my collection stopped when you left me. It's just not the same, nor will it ever be. I'll be listening to the radio, (94.5), and hear them announce all their upcoming concerts, however I won't be getting any tickets b/c my best friend won't be their by my side. Just finished the 1st semester of college, gosh... I wish you could help me in algebra. I remember when you were helping me with my algebra homework in high school and at the top of my paper, in the right hand corner by my name, you wrote "Holly, the most beautiful girl in the world." I didn't even notice it until my teacher had to point it out for me! Another time, while I was in chemistry class, I got out my calculator to work out some problems, and as I turned it on, you had pre-set it to say, "I love you." We'll Mike...."I love you too." I called your mom about 10 min ago hoping she wouldn't answer, because when she does,and we talk, I know when I'm off the phone with her, I will have used a whole toilet paper roll, have a runny nose for hours, and my eyes will be blood shot red until the next day. She didn't answer so I left her a message. I just wanted to call and tell her what an amazing man she had raised. I talk with Courtney M. alot now, she's a sweetie! It's so crazy to be talking to one of your ex-gf's!!We always talk about us being jealous of one another! But she's incredible, and everytime I talk to her, it confirms to me why you wanted to be with her! Of all the girls you could have been with, I'm glad one was Courtney! I've been really struggling lately, and my dad found me 2 girls across the country who have lost their 1st love's in accidents... talking to them helps, because it seems no one else it the world understands except the one's who have been through it. Nights are hard, especially as I'm about to go to sleep, as are the days just as difficult as the time slowly goes by without you with us. You don't even know how many people you touched, and how many people miss you immensely.... me being your #1 fan sweetheart!
"I love you always -n- forever... and even after Michael Wayne Pistori"us"!"
(11,14,510,182)*big house, 5 dogs, no kids,& alot of sports cars!*
Your heartbroken
Rock-Show Girl 4ever, ur HoLLDoLL
*tears* ='(
David Pistorius
November 27, 2003
Buddy, today is Thanksgiving Day. I'm sorry you missed playing in the traditional "Turkey Bowl" flag football game with the guys from church. I know they all missed having you there. We did that for many, many years. In fact, we started playing football on Thanksgiving Day, before you were even old enough to play...despite your protest that you "were big enough". While I will greatly miss having you at the table today, I am truly thankful for the wonderful son you are. I continue to miss you and look at your picture mounted above my computer, each and everyday. I am so thankful for the wonderful 18-years that you were with us. You were and ARE, a "special spirit". Your kindness, pure sweetness and wonderful personality are greatly missed by everyone I talk to and who knew you. My total consolation is knowing that one day, we will be together again, FOREVER. My outlook on death has changed.. it is no longer a scary-event sometime in the future, but am looking forward to the day when I can once again put my arms around you and squeeze you tight, to once again tell you how thankful I am, to be you father! I love you, Bud. DAD
JAYME
October 24, 2003
MIKE,
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO WRITE IN THIS GUEST BOOK BUT I FINALLY AM DOING IT. EVERYONE SAYS IT GETS EASIER DAY BY DAY WELL I DONT AGREE IT IS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER. I MISS YOU SO MUCH....I LOVE YOU.... THIS IS FOR YOU:
~*~*~*ONE MORE DAY~*~*~*
LAST NIGHT I HAD A CRAZY DREAM
A WISH WAS GRANTED JUST FOR ME
IT COULD BE FOR ANYTHING
I DIDN'T ASK FOR MONEY
OR A MANSION IN MALIBU
I SIMPLY WISHED, FOR ONE MORE DAY WITH YOU
ONE MORE DAY
ONE MORE TIME
ONE MORE SUNSET, MAYBE I'D BE SATISFIED
BUT THEN AGAIN
I KNOW WHAT IT WOULD DO
LEAVE ME WISHING STILL, FOR ONE MORE DAY WITH YOU
FIRST THING I'D DO, IS PRAY FOR TIME TO CRAWL
THEN I'D UNPLUG THE TELEPHONE
AND KEEP THE TV OFF
I'D HOLD YOU EVERY SECOND
SAY A MILLION I LOVE YOU'S
THAT'S WHAT I'D DO, WITH ONE MORE DAY WITH YOU
LEAVE ME WISHING STILL, FOR ONE MORE DAY
LEAVING ME WISHING STILL, FOR ONE MORE DAY
HoLLy Rasmussen
October 9, 2003
Hey sweetheart,
It's 11:57 p.m., Oct.8th, 2003. It's my 19th birthday. I remember one year ago today, we were on the phone, and at exactly 11:57 p.m., right when I was born, you sang Happy Birthday to me over the phone. The next day you were to leave for Dallas with Eric for Nationals. Tonight, one year later... I'm lost, I'm lost without you. I want to share being 19 with you, we are only a little over a month apart. I remember you always serenading me with endless gifts before my birthday, during, and after. Everything I ever pointed out at the mall, you bought me, no matter how much it was, no matter if that meant spending your whole paycheck to buy something I had wanted. I really am at a loss for words as what to say, trying to understand all this. I want you here to sing Happy Birthday to me... anyone else singing it will never be the same. I miss you soooooo much sweetheart! More than you will ever know. I cried throughout the day today as I do everyday,and had to hide my tears so people wouldn't question as to what was wrong. No one understands... no one. *tears* I LOVE you Michael Wayne Pistori"us."
*Here without you*~Three Doors Down~
*I knew I loved you before I met you...I think I dreamed you into life... I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life.* ~Savage Garden~
Holly Rasmussen
August 26, 2003
Hey sweetheart...
It's 1:44 a.m., August 26, 2003. I'm sitting in my new apartment at U of H and all I think about is you wishing you were here with me. I'm sorry I didn't send you a message sooner on your birthday, but it is so hard to type an entry in a guest book that I never wanted to be in. I miss you soo much, some days seem just unbearable. I would 1st of
all like to say "Happy 19th Birthday!" I remember you talking about the "Metallica" concert back in March. You were soo excited. I know you had the best seat in the house babe. It's soo hard Mike, you have no idea. I keep asking why to God everyday, and never get a response. I called your mom today. Your mom misses you so much... it hurts me to talk to her. I was trying to hold in the tears when I was talking but it was impossible. After we hung up, I let it all out. I see motorcycles driving on the road and it hurts to even look at them. I look away because it hurts me soo much. I HATE those damn bikes! Why'd you have to love them soo much? I've been going on a few dates here and there, and none of them even come close to you. You will always be the highest bar that every guy I date will have to somehow try to measure up too. They never will surpass you. I'm looking outside my window looking up at the stars. Every night before I go to bed, I look outside my window for this one special star I picked out in honor of the greatest guy I'll ever know, my 1st love, and best friend. I never got to pluck your eyebrows when you asked me too. You always called your eyebrows the "Pistorius curse." Know one seems to understand how I feel. I bottle up my emotions because it hurts to much to talk about. My parents and friends have been there for me every moment of the way but they didn't have to let go of their best friend. Your good friends Jeramy and Jon help/talk with me. It's so comforting to talk to the people you so dearly love and who so dearly love and miss you. So many countless people love you babe. Your mom told me "You never get over it, you just adjust your life around it." Adjusting is the hardest part, I don't want to adjust. I want you here sweetheart. It's still hard to beleive that you had to leave. I can't wait to see you Mike. I cry every night while lying in my bed wishing you were here, not for me, but for the countless people who miss you so dearly. Everywhere I look, something reminds me of you or one of our many inside jokes. I can't listen to "Blink182", "Jimmy Eat World" or "Audioslave" (your favorite bands)without tearing up. You'll always be my "Guy at the Rockkshow."
Happy 19th Birthday sweetheart.
I LoVe YoU MiKe WaYnE PiStOrI"uS".
p.s. forever -n- "even after"
Jeramy Norsworthy
August 25, 2003
Mike,
Happy Birthday Bud. Hard to believe you would have finally been 19. Before i met you i thought i was the baby of the group but you were by far the youngest. i am going to ask the guys to come over and celebrate your memory and birthday for a little bit tonight. take care Bud.
Jeramy
Jeramy Norsworthy
August 12, 2003
Dear Mike,
I wish you could have been at that Metallica concert with me even though I know you had the best seat in the house. lol. Things have been a little rough getting used to at the house I moved in with my friends. Some people just dont pick up after themselves, but what do you expect living with three other guys. lol. I start school on your birthday, some celebration huh. i thought you would get a kick out of that. Also, i would be lying if i didnt say that your friends dont think about you everyday. Its just hard not to miss a guy like you but i know your doing fine and i just ask that continue to watch over your family and friends as i know you will. take care big guy and i will see you when i get there.
Colleen Pistorius
July 15, 2003
Dearest Mike,
I don't know quite what to say but that I just miss you so much. It is so hard to really believe you are gone. Every morning I wish I could hear you turn on the shower and then later enjoy the few minutes we had together getting ready for work. At the end of the workday, I wish I were picking you up from work at HP and we were deciding what to do for dinner. I miss your shoes in the entry way and your cleats on the front porch. I miss you smile, you laughter, your way of saying "Oh Mom". I don't quite know what to do with myself. I love you so and am so grateful to have been your Mom on this earth, even though it seems to be such a short time. You didn't even get to have your 19th birthday (I was going to get you a new cell phone!) I don't understand why you left us when you were still so young, but I do know that the Lord does and it certainly must have been for a very important reason. I also know you are with our Heavenly Father and the Savior now. I know you live--I can feel your spirit, your wonderful personality--your strength. I miss you so much--I still get up at night like I used to, to check and see if you got home safely, but I don't close your door anymore, because that meant that you were in your bed asleep. I have let Lucky sleep in the house--even on the furniture--in your honor! She misses you too--she won't go in your room at all. Son, thank you for all your goodness-your loving heart, the way you used to say to me "I know what you need Mom, you need a hug". I miss your energy and your love of life. You weren't afraid of anything and wanted to do everything. That amazed and scared me at the same time. Thank you for being such a great friend and loving person to so many people. They miss you and have been so generous and kind. I love talking to them about you and hope we can keep in touch. I will never forget you--and I look forward to the day when we can be reunited. Some days I try to trick myself into thinking you are at Eric's or Jon's or at band practice or just hanging out with your friends. But, the truth is, you are not here with us anymore and I miss seeing you, talking with you, watching you grow and develop. I am so proud of you. You were so much fun and such a great son. You brough so much joy and happiness into so many people's lives. Your heart was so good. You were so accepting and nonjudmental of people I hope you will forgive my faults and the times I didn't handle everything so well. I will see you as soon as the Lord lets me come home too. Love, Mom
Courtney Bowles
July 5, 2003
It has been years since I have seen or spoken with the family, but I found out about your loss and want all of you to know that you are in my prayers. God mends broken hearts. Take Care.
Amy Pratt
July 5, 2003
Buddy-
Hey, it's your big sis...your biggest sister. I've read some of these entries in the guestbook and have wanted to write one of my own, but haven't really known what to say. I guess I want to tell you first of all that I love you and miss you so much. I think about you all the time, every day, more than once a day, sometimes all day long you are on my mind. I found some pictures of me and you in my scrapbook box...I was going to do a scrapbook page for you with all these cute pictures of me and you and the boys...but I never got around to doing it. I guess I've been thinking a lot about stuff I haven't taken the time to do yet, and will only have time in this life to do it. I've been thinking about how important family is and how literally, it is the ONLY thing we can take with us when we die. I wish I had taken more time with you, Bud. It was hard being 11 years apart in age. And me being a sister, and you a brother. After the funeral, and all, I realized when I saw all your friends there that I really didn't know much about you. I knew you as my little brother, and I have great fond, memories of our family, but as you started to grow up and get older, I have realized that I didn't take the time I should've to talk to you. I know I tried, and I know some things you were interested in like...(bikes, fast cars, racing, snowboarding, music, etc) but I didn't really know you as a friend would know you. I'm always going to wish that I did know you as your friends did, but I can't do much about it now, except try to do things differently with other people in my life. I've also been thinking a lot about how short our time on earth is. Most days, I still have a hard time believing that your body is gone...its not here with us on earth anymore. I know your spirit lives, but I miss seeing you and talking to you and hearing your voice. I'm sorry if I wasn't a better big sister to you, but I want you to know that I've always loved you and will always love you and that I am proud of you and I know that you made good choices in your life and had such an impact on so many people's lives. Alan and the boys and Josie and I will always love and miss you. I wish I could just know that you were okay and happy, one last time. I want to thank you for being such a great person. I want to thank you for being such a fun and loving uncle to my sweet children, who will miss you so dearly the rest of their lives. I also want to thank you for helping me strengthen my beliefs in so many things I have been taught and had faith in for so many years. The Lord has told us that the blessings in our lives come after the trials of our faith. Your death has been a trial of my faith, but because of you, this experience...this gift from you...I have had my faith strengthened. I hope to share this with as many people as I can. I want everyone who ever knew you to know that your life and your death were not purposeless, but part of a bigger plan...authored by none other than the Lord, Jesus Christ himself. He died, so you and I might live again. Buddy, isn't that awesome? I've wondered if you've met Him yet, if you've been encircled by His arms,in an embrace of everlasting, and tender love. I hope you have and that He told you that your family loves and misses you very much, because he knows as we have poured our hearts and tears out to Him. Thank goodness you are in good hands. I know you have been able to take care of yourself for a while now, but big sisters (like mothers) still worry about their little brothers. Take care my little brother. I love you forever. Love, Amy
Sherry Linney
July 3, 2003
Mike,
I've attempted to sign your guestbook many times but have hesitated, allthough we didnt spend as much time as you and your other friends may have.. we had our good times. The times I would spend the night at Lou and David's house. We would play family feud on the computer till the wee hours of the morning and get up and go to church on sunday. Or the times kristen and i would drive over to pick you up or drop you off. The time I rode your go-cart and you made me jump the curb.(scared me)
But what I am really here to say is that you will be greatly missed. your smile, your laugh, sitting at the dinner table and laughing so hard(food came out of ur nose)=) But all good times must come to an end. (but only for a short while) And hopefully when we meet again we can pick up where things left off! Kristen and i both love you .... as well as the rest of the family on the westside of houston! Miss you BUDDY!
Keely Drouet
July 1, 2003
Buddy,
I will never forget when my sister, Kinsey, called me to tell me you were gone. I felt like she was telling me of my own brother because the Drouet family feels like the members of the Pistorius family are related to us by much more than just David and Kinsey's bond of marriage. I remember your beautiful smile and constant happy disposition. I remember how nervous we both were at Kinsey and David's wedding to give the Best Man and Maid of Honor toasts! I wish I would have been able to see you one last time at David's graduation in May - Mom and I were the only ones not there because we were up at the Mayo Clinic. I hope you know how much your bro misses you Buddy...your only sister-in-law too. David did an amazing job talking about you at the funeral, he does better when he gets to talk about you so our family tries to keep him talking so we can make sure he is alright. He has his good days where he can remember the funny things about you and the bad days where he gets really sad because he misses you so much. I keep hearing about you and David's wrestling matches and how you were still growing...David is just heartbroken but I want you to know he is taking good care of your mom. Kinsey misses you as well, she did consider you her little brother - she says you gave the best hugs and would walk into a room and address her and David as "sister and brother" in a funny tone...what she would give to hear that again. Damon is super sad too Buddy and I don't think you even knew the impact you had on him. He liked you a ton and had just made the comment how he wanted to spend more time with you just before the accident happened. Your family's faith is pulling them through - but even though everyone knows you are in Heaven ... we all wish you were here for one last hug or to see that grin one last time! We miss you and will look for you in our dreams...
David Pistorius
June 30, 2003
Bro,
It has been three weeks and I keep waiting for it to get easier, but it never does. I can't forget all the good times that we shared together and the fun that we had. I am so sad for the short time that I was able to be your brother here on earth, but so grateful for the 18+ years that I knew you... There are so many wonderful memories that I have, that I will never let go.
My life was different because I knew you, and now that you are gone, my life is again forever altered. I so wish I had taken more time to tell you how much I love you and how much I respected everything about you. I have questions about my car and I now can't call you.
I miss you bro, life will never be the same without you. Today is a great day though as Kinsey and I are one day closer to being with you again!
I love you bro, you are my inspiration!
D
Lori Moran
June 30, 2003
Mikey, Mikey, Mikey....
I can't believe how much I still miss that 'Grinch' grin of yours. I keep expecting you to walk in our door. I keep expecting to hear "Hey Mrs. Moran, it's goober boy"
But, you know what, all these people are being way to nice to you! Don't they know what a pain in the butt you were???? You know I won't be that nice...I will always give you a hard time. Even in the after life!
Seriously Goober...we will always have a spot for you in Austin. No one will ever be invited in your place. And I promise to always have extra band-aids.
There is a hole in my heart Mike...
Love you always,
Lori"Your second Mom"Moran
PS: if I ever have to go bald again, I expect you to shave your head this time too!
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