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Thomas LeTendre Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Thomas LeTendre
Sarah Nerad
January 10, 2008
I love you.
Doug LeTendre
December 24, 2007
Magical twinkling Christmas lights
Bing Crosby and Dean and Silent Nights
Red lip-stick smeared kisses and strong perfume,
and smothering hugs from an Aunts big bosom.
Years of feasts fit for a king and as the door opened,
Mom's sleigh bells would ring.
So many wonderful memories
happy smiles and beautiful trees.
Most all of those years, things were quite cheerful,
but some were spiced with a dash of the dismal.
The first Christmas without Gramma Sadie there,
and then Grampa Walt seemingly out of thin air.
The first year without my Dear loving Mom
... and then all too soon, my brother Tom.
This is the time I think most of those
who took the path that God had chose.
Even tho' we miss them so
they're in our hearts
forever to hold.
Sometimes it's not all sugar and spice
but with a family like ours it sure is nice.
Our loved ones eyes in silent nights
Magical twinkling Christmas lights.
PEACE ON EARTH
Merry Christmas
I Love You All Very Much
Wally
Written Christmas Eve 2007 by Walter LeTendre Jr.
Doug LeTendre
December 20, 2007
From Sarah on December 7th.
Hello all,
I have very sad news. My family lost my Uncle Tom yesterday due to the Falk explosion. I just thought I would let all the people I love know because my family needs all the prayers they can get. I'm especially worried about my Aunt Darlene, her 3 children-Danny, Samantha and Alex and my grandfather. A loss of a husband, father and child, I cannot even begin to imagine. Please keep them in your hearts and prayers.
My Uncle was a great person! He had a ton of ideas and was one of those people who could talk your ear off. His long list of ideas has always been a joke among my family, but at this moment I'm sure I speak for everyone...I would give anything to sit down and listen to his crazy thoughts on life, house repair and how to find everything you need at an estate sale.
Uncle Tom was always looking to help everyone in the family in small ways and learn something new. I don't even think we realized it sometimes. His family was very important to him and Uncle Tom was always thinking about all of us....especially when he was on the hunt for a great buy. I asked for help finding a dining set, he was on the hunt forever, I didn't realize it mattered so much to him to help me. I am so grateful to have had such an amazing and caring Uncle in my life, I'm just sorry that my daughter will not know how much fun he was to be around. But I can say she had the privilege of estate sale shopping with him in a snow storm...yes a snow storm. Uncle Tom made me go because he said we could find some great deals since not many people would be out--he's crazy, of course no one would be out! Thank you Uncle Tom for loving me so much...you will be missed greatly!!!
At these times you tend to re-evaluate life...we all need to slow down
and enjoy all the good things we have in our lives, we never know what is in store for us! And Please Let Everyone know how much you care about them and appreciate all they do for you all throughout the year. I know life is busy, but I want you all to know I think about you often and I love you all! Thank you...Love always, Sarah xoxo
Sarah's December 7, 2006 email sent to friends (and family)
Doug LeTendre
December 20, 2007
I miss him.
Tom and I meet on Father’s Day 1983 at Holy Cross Church Festival. I was just leaving the parking lot when I ran into my friend Margaret’s brother Donald Eldredge and his little friend. I knew Don pretty well so I stopped to chat with him for awhile.
While we were talking his little friend kept butting in with rather sarcastic comments about this or that. We talked about my job at the stadium, my job as a “private detective” and my studies at UWM. We talked for some time. We parted because I had to get up early the next morning for my “detective” job and I knew I had to work at the stadium the next evening for a Brewer’s game. All the while his little friend had been making comments and talking “smack.”
When I left the parking lot that night I thought to myself “that little guy hates me.”
The next night (me in my usherette regalia) Tom showed up at the ramp I was working at in the stadium. He was wearing a short sleeved Kelly green sweatshirt turned inside out, short short cut offs with red long underwear underneath and orange high-tops. (Why hadn’t he dated before?)
He spoke so friendly to me that I asked if he was the same guy from the night before. He told me that he was just testing me to see if I could take it. He then asked me to go out after the game.
When I walked out of the stadium that evening (Tracy girls in tow) he was waiting for me. Eileen and her sisters were quite leery. Who was this strangely dressed boy? They were very hesitant to leave me with him.
We weren’t out long. We just sat by my car and talked. Well, he mostly he talked. He told me all about his big family, his childhood, camping, vacationing and his job. He also told me about his missing finger tip.
He was on medical leave at the time so I asked him to come with me to Madison for my “detective” job. I would drive so I agreed to meet at his house in the morning.
When I got to his house on 46th street he was already outside. Allyson, however was peering at us from the kitchen window. He told me that she wanted to see who agreed to go out with her little brother.
I finished my work in Madison and we spent the rest of the day wondering around. We walked around the Capitol, had lunch on State Street and sat by the lake in the late afternoon sun. This is where we first kissed. This is where we both realized that this is who we wanted to be with.
We never parted after that. We were always together. The Tracys thought that we were joined at the hip. But we never wanted to be apart. We just liked each other. And we liked being together. We knew right away that we would marry. Tom questioned that move often, but never backed away.
Over the years that beginning feeling of always wanting to be together never really changed. Yes we had disagreements, yes we argued, yes we told each other to “drop dead”. But under it all I knew I loved Tom and I knew he really loved me.
Tom was not easy to live with though. He was always right. He would argue his point even though I knew he was wrong. And I had a problem keeping up with him and all his ideas. He had so many that nothing ever got done. He was always unsure of himself and never took his own advice or followed his own directions.
One thing is for sure Tom loved working at Falk. He was so happy when Dave told him about the job opening. He was glad that David wouldn’t be embarrassed to have Tom work at the same company as him. To let people know that David was his brother. Tom loved his job and most of the people that he worked with. As with everything he did, he had trouble staying focused and that would get him into trouble. He liked to do things his own way and left to himself, I think he would’ve been able to do his job and still help everyone that asked.
The night before the disaster, Tom was up all night with a cold. He was coughing all morning while getting ready for work. So much that Alex told him to stay home. Tom worked hard for us. He wouldn’t let a cold keep him home. He told Alex that he would be alright and that it “wouldn’t kill” him. And off he went. That was Tom. Always working for his family.
Tom loved his family. He loved his kids. He wanted so much for them. He would never back down about the importance of school. To him, schooling was the most important thing you could do. From the time our kids were old enough to understand, he pushed the importance of school on them. He would tell them that he had to work at a physically demanding job because he never went on to school. He wanted his kids to do so much more than physical labor. Not that he didn’t work the kids physically around here. Even Samantha can lift and carry some really heavy items. (That doesn’t mean she wants to help you move Wally.)
But Tom loved “his” family too. Each and every one of you. He loved his mom. He loved going junking with her and Aunt Lou. Taking her shopping or even to a doctor’s appointment meant he got to spend some time with her.
Joe, Tom loved you. He would always call you to tell you about a t.v. show that he was watching that he thought you would enjoy. And whenever he thought of a new idea he would always have to run it past you first to get your input. He did this just to spend some time with you. Just some father and son time.
Ginny, Tom loved you. He welcomed you in from the start. He would refer to you as his step-mom. You always listened to him but you always gave him good advice. And he listened to you. He didn’t do that often.
Thank you both for everything. The kids and I do not know how we could have done anything without you. Thank you for caring and loving us.
Ally, Tom loved you. You were his big sister. He looked up to you. I cannot recollect him ever calling you a witch like some of your other brothers had. He valued your opinions. He wanted to decorate like you. He used your insight on the proper ornament selection. He told me was so honored to be chosen as Becky’s God-Father. A job he did not take lightly. He was so proud of her and used her in reference in how a successful young person should become.
Doc, Tom loved you. He sought out your advice often. He loved talking with you about everything. He knew that you would have the answer to all his many questions. Thank you both. Your generosity, your love and kind words mean so much to us.
Doug, Tom loved you. You were his big brother, the oldest and wisest, and his best man. He loved your collections. I think that his why he started some of his own. He loved spending time with you. He envied your artistic talent and loved your ability to find humor in everything.
Jan, Tom loved you. He was quite taken by being related to someone famous. He proudly announced that his sister-in-law was a reporter for the Journal. He was happy when he found out that you would be marrying his brother. He was also looking forward to meeting and welcoming Kitty into the LeTendre family.
Thank you for all you have done for us. And the love you are bestowing on the kids.
Dave, Tom loved you. He looked up to you. He also looked to you for advice and was happy when you took the time to give it to him. Though he knew it would be a long drive for you when your department moved to Canal Street, he was glad that he would be able to spend more time with you.
Denise, Tom loved you. You were another sister to him. He grew up with you in his life and loved you as much as his own sisters. He loved coming to you for haircuts. And we had so much fun at Nadine and Jon’s birthday water fights. Even during the tornado warnings.
Thank you both for your support and your overwhelming generosity. David, I was a wreck at the stadium that day, but you were there to help me through.
John, Tom loved you. You were his best friend. He loved spending time in your barn just shooting the breeze. He also loved finding “treasures” for you. I cannot count how many times he would come home and show me what he found for you. He loved filling up your van and was so pleased to see what you would do with it all.
Eileen, Tom loved you. Yes he did. Did too. He thought you were good for John. You kept him grounded. Kept him here instead of running off with some group or whatever he was thinking of doing. He loved coming to your house and spending time with your family.
Thank you both for everything. For always being there for Tom and for us now.
Wally, Tom loved you. He knew that there wasn’t anything that you couldn’t make or fix. He loved your talents. He wished that he could have had your confidence in being able to do all of the creative things that you do.
Thank you for your thoughtful gifts for myself and the kids. And please get a bigger truck.
Danny, Tom loved you. You were his little brother. His partner and comrade in the fight against the evil tirade of the older brothers. Tom admired your humor and quick wit. He was so happy when you got your implant. He liked being able to talk with you again and you being able to hear him. I’m sure he was looking forward to many more conversations.
MaryJo, Tom loved you. He admired you for sticking with his little brother. He loved your free spirit. And your ability of having fun where ever and when ever. He loved to watch you fret and worry over everything and yet still see the humor in it. He was also happy that our kids were close.
Thank you both for your kindness and caring and being there for us.
Maura, Tom loved you. You were his little sister. He loved your spirit. He loved your faithfulness to your family. And your love for your brothers and sister. He loved that he was allowed to be a big part in Sarah’s early life. He hoped that some of her spirit came from being with him.
Frank, Tom loved you. He loved your commitment to his sister and your acceptance of Sarah as your own. Also for the strong work ethic you have in caring for your family. When Tom was in need of a job you offered one to him. He was always grateful for that.
Thank you both for all the help and love that you have shown me and the kids.
All of these words seem so inadequate for the true feelings I have for each of you. The words “Thank you” do not say enough. But I am unable to come up with anything else. The kids and I feel so much love and support from all of you. Tom would have been proud of the way his family came together for this tragedy.
I am sorry if I had hurt anyone’s feelings. I am sorry if I forgot to thank any of you for everything that you have done for us. And I am sorry I turned into a basket case at Christmas.
I just miss him.
I love you all,
Darlene
Letter sent to family by Darlene in December 2006
Doug LeTendre
December 20, 2007
Doug LeTendre
(Tom's older brother)
Eulogy read at the service on December 11, 2006
Thomas Michael LeTendre
On behalf of the LeTendre and Hafer Families, I would like to thank all of you for joining us tonight.
I’d like to especially thank all the fine men and women from Falk who have expressed their condolences here tonight and also to those employees who could not make it here in person but are her with us in spirit
When Tom was born on April 29 in 1957, I was 8.
Tom was an incredibly white baby. He had pure white skin and he had bright white hair.
His head was perfectly round, unlike Wally’s.
We, his older brothers and Allyson, would take turns feeding Tommy his warm bottle of milk.
I changed his diapers. We all did.
There was a short period there when we were all good kids.
By 1960 our family was complete.
There was, in this order, Allyson, me, David, John, Wally, Tom, Dan and Maura.
Tom was 3 when we moved from a crummy flat on 17th Street to the big fancy house on 46th.
We 6 boys all slept in one room.
Those days in that room together were fun-filled, dangerous and entertaining.
Tom, at age 5, was able to do a remarkable and amusing impersonation of a movie star.
We would ask him to do it and he would jump out of bed and dressed only in his underpants and undershirt, he could limp just like Walter Brennan from the TV show, “The Real McCoys.”
The kid had talent.
In a fight, Tom was tenacious – like a badger. He would not give up.
Sometimes after a battle, Tom, to get even, might take your bed completely apart.
Life was good.
Each kid was different and special in their own unique way.
David was the devil.
John was the bashful one.
Wally was the loner.
Danny was the funny one.
Maura was cute.
Ally was the witch.
And I was the good one.
But Tom - he was the sensitive one.
All of us were funny. My mom taught us how.
(My dad was not funny, but he’s working on it.)
It wasn’t funny when Tom lost a finger-tip in an accident.
But it was funny when he would point this stump-finger at you and poke you in the chest with it.
Like most of us, Tom went through a period where he seemed lost and had nowhere to go.
But then one happy day he met a beautiful woman named Darlene Hafer.
Tom was bashful like all the LeTendre boys, but Darlene took a chance on this good-looking young man and together they made a life and raised a family.
Their beautiful children --- Daniel, Samantha, and Alex were quite simply, Tom’s pride and joy. They are amazing kids.
In our family, every body helps one another.
However, Tom always helped the most.
If you asked for help, Tom never said no.
Over time, he would help me so much.
Tom helped me move every time I moved.
Tom helped me every time I painted.
Tom helped me lift many large or heavy things.
He had become a barrel-chested strong man.
Tom helped me tear down walls and he helped me build things.
Tom could organize anything except his own junk.
If you asked for advice, he freely gave it.
If you did not ask, he gave it anyways.
And when he left, you could only laugh and shake your head because you realized that, once again, Tom was right. He was always right.
He liked to see things done perfect or not at all.
I talked to Tom once about this habit of offering so much unwanted advice, and he said, “Well, I’m just trying to help.”
“But Tom, I said, “sometimes people just want to get something done even if it’s not perfect.”
“But I do it because I care.” he said.
And then he said something that I only recently remembered --- and even at that time was so heart-breaking.
He added the strangely-worded but telling comment,
“I do it out of, dare I call it love.”
Tom held us all in such high esteem that
All too often we were unable to meet his expectations.
I sadly admit that at times, I think I disappointed Tom.
Those of us who loved Tom fought with him but
We never broke up. We always came back together.
Recently Tom crusaded for more frequent get-togethers with his brothers and sisters and all the families.
He was passionate about this. He would not let it go.
I explained my view that it was a hard thing to do.
People are older.
Families are all spread out.
People are tired on the weekends.
He strongly disagreed, and insisted that we had to try harder.
He said, “You don’t know what’s going to happen. Things can change fast. Look what happened to Mom.”
Happily my sister Allyson recently was able to pull off a holiday get together last month and, of course, Tom was there, with his family.
Tom’s message was that he wanted more of us.
And so here we are. Tom is gone. We want more of him.
I am sure that my brother Tom died in service to others.
That is what he did all his life. He liked to help.
As difficult as it is for all of us to endure this tragedy,
I am slightly comforted by the thought that maybe because Tom’s heart was so big, perhaps God felt it necessary to provide this horrible explosion as a magnificent signal.
A signal to the whole world that the love that my little brother so freely shared throughout his entire life was now, gloriously released upon us all at that final moment when he was taken up, to be with his mother.
Doug
Steve Lourders 2500 N 47
December 20, 2007
What can one say truly to express such loss as felt by the LeTendre family and the many good friends the family has from the old neighbor. I read this guest book from beginning to end and had such joy remembering such good days in life. Now I will share my story of my best memory with Tommy. As life goes some kid was mad at someone so there was a ruckus. First like an order of ducks Mr. Kelly, Mr. Silkey and Mr. LeTendre came out to tell everyone to be quiet. Of course that didn't realy work out so everyone went into the alley. What exactly everyone was yelling about I no longer recall. Tommy came out on the back porch just watching. In those days the big fight included usually just one punch where no one got hurt except in pride. Tommy said hay I got extra ice for anyone that needs it. It was the perfect thing to say really. He did not judge, he did not ask any questions. Tommy once said he fought all the time with his brother but his mother got upset if there was any blood afterward. I remember some years later when little Wally and Maura had their daughters that would fight in the backyard. Tommy always seemed shocked by that until I reminded him of how much as kids we all fought. Since my parents from the old area in 1982 I haven't seen any of the LeTendres but I have run into the Silkeys, Harvey Toy, Kelly brothers and Taylors. We all share that common place of our growing up were the caring continues. Tommy had the best really life can offer, to lay claim that he many good friends and caring family. No greater man can there be.
Doug LeTendre
December 17, 2007
Daniel LeTendre
Tom's little brother
Eulogy for Tom.
(read at Tom's Service December 11, 2006)
Tom.
I would like to thank everyone for their love and support during this difficult time in our lives and also for being here to celebrate the memory of my big brother Tom. It is hard for me to remember and express all the moments I shared with Tom growing up, there were so many.
First let me say that, unlike my brother, Doug’s words, my stories are real.
I’m going to start off by saying Tom like myself and my younger sister Maura were at the bottom of the food chain at our house. Now I know that my older brothers Doug, David, John and Wally will vehemently deny some of these things I tell you here today, but I assure you that they are true. And many can be backed up by my sister, Maura.
In speaking with Doug Saturday night, he explained to me that what I’m going to tell you today, were training exercises much like young bear cubs playing and swatting each other as they learned to survive in the wild. I still have trouble seeing this. And other than the ability to not get talked into dangerous or painful situations, I have yet to apply any of these “training” techniques in my own personal life. I might add here that immediately following some of these training exercises we were quickly told to – “Not tell mom.” So apparently these were some sort of counter-intelligence, secret society techniques know only to bigger brothers. I often wonder and worry today how my brothers Doug, David, John and Wally were able to survive in the world without the benefit of some of these important techniques.
I am now going to break an unwritten code of silence and reveal some of these Free Mason-like secret techniques:
Lesson 1, Oh, I’m not sure if these have specific names or not. Doug may know though.
One more thing, most of these exercises took place when (A) my parents weren’t home and (B) in the boy’s room and usually the trainees were only clothed in their underwear.
Lesson 1
Yoga-Lotus Position-Pillow-Fighting
There were usually two trainers or handlers assigned to each combatant. Doug and Dave being the oldest were usually the coaches while John and Wally were the cut-men.
Tom and I were positioned on either side of the bedroom where we were given pre-fight instructions and then sent into battle. Each of us was armed with the heaviest pillow available and with our legs locked in lotus-position we hobbled out into the middle of the room on our knees to duke it out.
I’m not sure if there were time limits to the lengths of the rounds or if it was simply determined by when you were knocked out of your lotus-position or were toppled.
I believe though, that I received many blows from Tom after the bell had sounded.
This went on until one opponent was either crying or had a large enough welt, bruise or was bleeding too badly to continue. We were then gathered into the boy’s bedroom closet, battered, bloodied and beaten and told,
“Don’t tell mom!”
Lesson 2
The Whip
One year my mother, (What she was thinking here, I don’t know?) allowed my brothers to get 8 bull-whips at the State Fair.
Again, parents gone, this exercise took place outside on the front lawn.
My brothers, armed with whips, were in, I’d say, a about a fifteen foot circle.
The trainees, Tom, Dan and Maura, all wearing shorts, were in the middle of this circle.
I believe the object was for them to try and wrap the whip around our legs and trip us. This did not happen often and each of us felt the crack of the end of the whip.
Again, I do not believe there was a set time limit and again, at the end of the exercise we were told,
“Don’t tell mom!”
As I write this I wonder what the neighbors and people driving by in cars thought and why no one came forward to stop the training.
Lesson 3
This exercise tested our speed and agility as well as the sharpshooter’s ability to hit a small, screaming, moving target with a shot fired from a BB rifle.
Again, parents gone.
The targets: Dan and Tom.
The snipers, positioned on the upstairs front porch, were Doug, John and Wally. I believe they wore masks so you couldn’t identify the shooter.
Trainee’s objective: to “safely” run from tree to tree using some of the skills acquired in the pillow fight and whip exercises.
The trainer’s objective: to hit the trainees with as many shots from the BB gun as possible in order to earn points and high-fives from fellow shooters. I’m not sure if they kept score or just stopped when they ran out of BBs.
Again at the conclusion of the exercise we were told,
(Everyone now!)
“Don’t tell mom!”
Lesson 4
MD Carnival
This exercise was done under the guise of making money for Jerry’s kids.
A large pulley was attached high atop a telephone pole. A rope was run through the pulley to the ground where a Milwaukee Journal paperboy’s bag was attached.
I believe this training exercise involved other neighbor kids who, like us, were in the “advanced” stages of training.
The trainee was placed inside the Journal bag and hoisted to the top of the pole where they were repeatedly banged against the pole and then lowered back to the ground.
I believe this was the only exercise that was actually stopped by neighborhood parents and deemed perhaps, too dangerous.
I believe at this point our training was complete. We did not have a formal graduation. We were just released out into the world on our own. Each of us learned different lessons throughout our training and each carried this into his or her life.
Tom was my brother, my friend and my combatant. Tom grew up to be everything I was not; organized, responsible and well-behaved.
Tom was always concerned about others and for some odd reason, me.
He loved me despite all our differences and past battles.
Tom was funny in an unsuspecting way. He was the Dean Martin to my Jerry Lewis, often setting me up to do the punch-line.
He was always giving.
He gave his time, his energy and his help whenever it was needed.
Back in 1982, when the Brewers were in the World Series, my father had season tickets and had a writing contest between us brothers to see who could go to the game with him. I won, but because I had gone out and gotten drunk and did something stupid; my dad instead gave my ticket to Tom.
Tom talked to dad and said, “No, Dan should go.” and gave up the ticket to me.
Another time Mary Jo and I were going to take a trip to Florida.
Tom borrowed us his brand-new Mazda 626 to drive there in.
Tom always did stuff like that.
He bought presents for everybody at Christmas even though he didn’t have to.
He was always looking for ways to make things better.
He wanted us to be a better family, take care of each other, see each other more and love each other more.
There’s a lyric in a song that I think somewhat sums up Tom a bit. It goes,
“I’m just a soul whose intentions are good.
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”
It took me a long time to learn to understand Tom, but I think I finally do. And I offer this simple request in honor of my loving brother Tom.
Don’t wait until tomorrow to tell someone that you love them or hold off on being with your family because it seems to be too much of a bother. Tell them now.
Go see them now.
Keep that family spirit alive and never forget how very important each and every person who comes into your life is.
I love you Tom and will carry you always in my heart.
And please, when you see mom, “Tell her!”
Danny
Doug LeTendre
December 17, 2007
Donn Vitek
A Eulogy for “Tommy”
(read at Tom's Service on December 11, 2006)
I've known Tom LeTendre for almost 40 years. Tom was my brother-in-law and a good man who had a big heart.
Those of you who knew Tom well were familiar with his love for "old stuff". Tom, like his mom before him, was a "junker". It was almost impossible for him to pass up a yard or estate sale, and yet, a good amount of what he would buy went to friends and relatives.
You see Tom knew what people were interested in because he was good talker. He was also a good listener, questioner, and analyzer of things. He would see something that he knew you had an interest in and buy it because he was thinking of you. It might be an old book about the French and Indian wars if he knew you were interested in American history. Or it might be an antique tool if he knew you liked to work with your hands and make furniture.
Sometimes, it would be a bit of a gag gift. Tom knew that I was a Bears fan and one time presented me with an old laminated football card that featured Chester Marcol. For those of you too young to remember, Marcol was a place-kicker for the Packers. His last minute field goals had beaten Chicago on more than one occasion. The reason I mention this story is to show that Tom's humor was always there, but it was subtle and gentle. I can't think of anything that he ever did out of meanness.
Like Tom, many of us are "questioners". We like to know the "why" of things. At times like this, all of us are thinking of Tom and asking "why"?
I'd like to read a short poem whose author I don't know. The poem addresses the "why" that many of us find in our lives. It's titled "The Weaver" and I know that Tom would have liked it.
My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me;
He chooses all the colors
And works on steadily.
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow,
And I with blinded pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
And the underside.
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
Not till the loom is silent,
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the fabric,
And show the reason why.
Tom is finding out the reason "why". The rest of us will have to wait.
Tom was my brother-in-law. He was a good talker, a good listener, an analyzer, an organizer, a questioner, and a man with a big heart..... I'll miss him.
Donn Vitek
Doug LeTendre
December 17, 2007
Sarah Nerad (LeTendre)
Memorial read at the banquet following Tom's burial.
There are so many amazing memories and experiences that my Uncle Tom gave me over the years. I was blessed with something that I know he had as well, which is the ability to turn a 5-minute story into an hour and a half…so I will try not veer off.
That damn index finger…He always had to shake that finger at me and stick it in my ear and as I was yelling at him to stop, he would quickly take the opportunity to stick it in my mouth. As he did it, he would have a soft smile and chuckle…the same one we all saw grandma use.
Estate Sale Shopping…I know you all know this already, but my Uncle was big into Estate Sales, rummage sales and just about anything where he could get an awesome deal. Luckily for me I had a one-on-one shopping experience with him this past Feb. or March. I was a little worried to do it, but I made the call to Uncle Tom. I needed help finding a dining set and I knew he was the one to find it and he would not stop until he did. He first stopped at my house to re-evaluate the house’s character, size and my style. He told me what I should be looking for, which I did not agree with at first. However, with a little persuasion and facts Uncle Tom talked me into his plan for my dining room. We made plans to go out one day and there ended up being a big snow storm. My daughter Isabella was only 7 or 8 months at the time so I really didn’t want to go out in that weather. But Uncle Tom talked me into going and said don’t worry I’ll drive. There are going to be so many deals because not many people will be out…of course there won’t be anyone out, did you look out the window?! He left work early that day to pick me up for my first hands-on lesson of how to work the people at an estate sale. As we went from house to house I realized he really does do this all the time…he knew all the people who ran these sales. And if you know Tom he talked to them forever. I had to keep reminding him that Bella wasn’t going to last long. “Oh Sarah, she’ll be fine. Let me take her and you look around for awhile” Bella loved him. I would check on him every so often to make sure he was okay. She was always quiet. Then I caught him…that damn finger of his was gently being sucked on by my daughter. “Awww, Uncle Tom get that finger out of her mouth!” I yelled “Why? She likes it, it’s better than using a finger with a nail” I had nothing to say to that….he was right again.
The Wisconsin State Fair…Uncle Tom had to always be there. I remember him wearing goofy plaid shorts, tall socks with converse shoes and his apron to complete the outfit…I often wondered if he slept in his apron, he never seemed to want to take it off. He was awesome with all of his nieces and nephews. You see he had a major part in showing us the ropes of the Fair because all the other siblings of his were always on break. Soon we all knew how to chop the snow cone ice the proper way, make the perfect cotton candy, how to count money back correctly, how to change the soda barrels, and how to make friends with anyone and everyone at the fair using the famous “LeTendre apron” technique.
The big car accident of 2000…Well something Grandpa did not do often was lend out his cars. Well in 2000 he let me use his Toyota van Christmas evening to drive up North even though everyone thought it was not a good idea. Unfortunately the trip did not turn out well, I ended up flipping the van. I totaled it and walked away with only a couple scraps and bruises. I hoped for at least a broken arm, which would have made telling the family a little easier. The first family gathering after the accident I felt extremely out of place. Most did not talk about it right away and it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. And then there was my Uncle Tom…he talked to me about it and even made me laugh about it. I think he knew how I felt and didn’t want me to feel alone. I never thanked him for those few words and I really wished I had, it meant so much to me.
I wanted to end with a few things that my Uncle Tom loved:
The Fourth of July fireworks at the lakefront, Halloween at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, the circus parade, The house at 2479 N. 46th, the Wisconsin State Fair, chopping the snow cone ice at the fair…not exactly sure why, giving advice, listening, talking, meeting new people, seeing the progress everyone made on their houses, My Grandma Kitty and Papa Joe, all his brothers and sisters, his nieces and nephews, and especially his beautiful wife Darlene and 3 amazingly talented children Danny, Samantha and Alex.
Sarah
Doug LeTendre
December 15, 2007
Becky Vaughn (Vitek)
Tom's niece and god-daughter
Eulogy for Tom read by Becky at the service held on December 11, 2006.
My Uncle Tom
Dear Uncle Tom,
I want to thank you for all the memories you have given me and so many others. You were very brave to take your nieces to Grand Ave. and the ever popular, Hello Kitty store. I remember one time having so much fun playing Key Cars with you and Nadine in the middle of the mall (that is until the cop told us we had to stop)! Thanks for starting me on my ornament collection, which so many admire when they come over and for one of my most FAVORITE and TREASURED stuffed monkeys (which I still have today).
Thanks for teaching us the “ropes” of the state fair. You taught us the proper way to make cotton candy (and actually get it to stay on the stick), how to, ever-so-carefully refill the snow cone juice (not an easy task, but you did it like a pro), how to get free stuff (or a least ½ off) by just wearing our aprons around the grounds, and finally and most important, how to turn a ½ hour break into 2 ( and not get in trouble).
You were an important part of my life and I knew I could count on my Uncle Tom to help me out and be there when I needed it. You helped make growing up in this CRAZY family fun and exciting. You have and always will have a piece of my heart reserved JUST for you.
My Uncle Tom. With his quiet smile, calming voice, and loving heart. Know that you were and are loved more than I think you could possibly know. You were my godfather, my uncle, my friend, and now my angel. Rest peacefully in God’s arms.
Love, Becky
Doug LeTendre
December 15, 2007
Thomas Michael LeTendre
Thomas Michael was our fifth born son,
A handsome, blond, blue-eyed lad, full of fun
Camping with siblings, beaches and traveling were number one.
Then came along his beautiful princess Darlene,
Three lovely children they would have,
That was their dream.
Just the right home indeed,
And yes, lots of rummage it would need
A passion he carried thru the years, much to Dar’s dismay,
Lots of junk to rid of she would say.
Always helping others
And giving advice was Tom’s way,
Watching birds and knowing about them
Was a love he would convey.
He’s opened our eyes
So that we may see,
How important life and family can be.
His job here on this earth is done,
A new life he enters now.
So proud Tom makes us feel,
By touching our lives with care and zeal.
Rest peacefully our fifth born son in your caring mother’s arms.
God has a plan for you to carry on.
We miss you Thomas
Merry Christmas with love
Dad & Ginny
Thinking Of You All This Holiday Season
November 25, 2007
I was watching CNN when news flashed about the Falk explosion. Thought my goodness there is the valley and a piece of home on national TV. Turned the sound down and did my housework. I was dusting when I caught just a glimpse of Mr. LeTendre on CNN and I needed no words, not a sound to know something was very wrong. I sat there watching with no sound just watching the TV. MSN and Fox were playing the same news about Falk explosion. Next day the photo from the journal and Ally were on TV, still had the sound off. Then the photo of Tom was showed. Somehow I already knew. Face of Mr. LeTendre told the story the day before. This just wasn't a story about other people, some distant thing. These were people I knew well. Ally talked to the media and that made CNN here. I thought myself Tom would be so proud of you all and even prouder of the way things were handled. You came together as a family win such hard days. I have a friend in the UK that told me Falk explosion made the news there. I wonder if the family knew that, just how much the world was watching. This guest book is a legacy to that watching world and how many people remembered Tom and your family. The loss can never be replaced but know always there are many out there that care. The loss felt by many has not been forgotten. That is an achievement and testament to your family's values.
Tom, why do you spend so much time gazing at the stars? I want to know what's up there he said. Tom, I think you are going to be a star someday. No, who me, not ever he said. Yes, Tom I think you will be one of the brigtest stars because that is what you made of yourself. No, not me he said, I'd be afraid of the stage.
Tom was not hatched at the side of the road, he became who was as a person because of his family. Take comfort in that for each of you were apart of it with all the parts making a whole. Life is a funny thing. You can be out of someone's life you knew so well for decades, spot their face on CNN and just know. We all remain apart of each other's lives, touching them and changing them. No man is an island.
I saw the entry about the joke of how many LeTendres fit in the volkswagon bus. Tom's answer for that is what you all need now to look for comfort, "We all have to give out best, layout a chart, weigh/measure, set a goal, hold a discussion, make a plan and like always somone is up early to getting the running start for the best seat. Well that plus the machine in the volkswagon that shrinks LeTendres like the Jetsons shrink their car lets all fit." What Tom was saying was you all fit no matter what together as a family with all parts equal in the end. Tom who I called Jetson knew when we were kids value of family meant more than all of life.
Saw somewhere that people thought Tom was closest to the explosion trying to help others. I believe in that instant of choice Tom would of helped others at his own sacrifice. But if you think about all of his family was the same way with hearts of gold. As I spent hours reading this guest book the names in it are such reminders of life Tom lived. I couldn't find a single family still among us from that neighborhood that could of signed this guest book missing. Our family lived all the way down off 50 & Center. Not a single family there really knew their neighbors. If you wanted to have fun and hang out the kids always went up to 46 street area. There everyone played outside, people knew each other and it was a different world.
Doug LeTendre
November 21, 2007
From Tom's older brother, Doug written just after Christmas 2006.
As I sit here, under the crystal chandelier in the dining room I remember this.
The weeks before December 6th
I had just washed that dining room chandelier on December 5th. I had filled a large bucket with soapy water and raised it up to the soak the chandelier. As I washed the crystals, the thought actually passed through my mind that this was something Tom and I would talk about sometime soon, probably over Christmas when he and the family stopped by to visit. I thought to myself, Tom will find this interesting. Then he would, of course, maybe suggest an alternative method or maybe say that he too had heard that what I had done was the best way. Then we’d move on to something else to look at or talk about. He’d always find something to admire or criticize. He’d pick something up, turn it over in his hands and comment on it. It was our ritual.
That was December 5th and here I was thinking about Tom as I washed a chandelier. Isn’t that crazy?
After Jan and I finished our brick courtyard and the front walk, I'd be out there cleaning and sweeping the bricks. Maybe I'd find a flaw and I'd think Tom would have spotted that flaw too. He might have said that I should call the brick-layer and complain but overall, I think Tom would have approved and liked the results. Isn't that crazy? I was looking at a chipped brick and thinking of Tom?
Jan and I had begun decorating our Christmas tree the weekend before the 6th and as I decorated alone while Jan was at work I thought to myself as I hung the ornaments, Tom will like this. Tom will definitely approve. And he might ask, "What made you think of putting all the pine cones in large clusters at the top?" Isn’t that crazy? I'm 57 years old and I'm thinking about how my little brother, Tommy will like the tree? That's nutty. That kid was in my thoughts again.
Then December 6th happened.
The chandelier was sparkling and the Christmas tree was nearly done that morning.
It should have been a good day.
The day started with the news. I was in bed and had just turned the TV on before Jan left for the day. I called to Jan and said that there was a fire at Falk. We watched. Jan eventually went to work because this was probably just a story of a very bad fire and that would be the end of that. But the news got worse. They said there was a huge explosion and they began interviewing people who were blocks away. People were actually crying because they were so frightened.
I called dad. Dad said he had heard from Dave who was looking for Tom. That’s good news, I thought. Dave’s ok and Dave will find Tom. I got out of bed and went downstairs to watch the coverage. I tried Dave’s cell phone. No answer. I waited like all of us and watched as the news got more and more worrisome. I called dad again. He said Dave had heard a rumor that Tom was found unconscious and had been taken away on a stretcher. Dave was continuing his search and would call dad back when he found him. Well that’s good, I thought to myself again. Tom’s hurt but they’re taking care of him. I watched more interviews about the explosion and the damage done a quarter of a mile away. This was a big explosion. Still no real news of Tom though. Ally called and we agreed that at least we know Tom is unconscious but, then again, where is he? Where have they taken him? Why aren’t we hearing from someone? I found myself pacing and could not sit still and so I hung Christmas ornaments on the tree. Where’s Tom?
Then there came grim news of an employee who had died. More pacing and more ornaments hung. It all went downhill from there. My only hope, our only hope was; what are the odds? These things don’t happen to us. These things happen to other unfortunate people and other families lives are changed forever. Not our family. Not my brother.
Jan’s brother, Michael was with me. He was visiting and spending several days with us. This is all happening just one month after Jan and her family suddenly lost their dad, Carl on October 28th. Mike and I talked and he tried to console me and offer me hope but I could tell that he too was as worried as all of us.
It was after the televised press conference from Froedert Hospital when they gave the ages and sex of the more seriously injured that the real dread began to rise in me. None of the ages of the men listed were Tom’s age. Dad had called hospitals. I had called the hospitals. None of them had a patient named Le Tendre.
Ally called again and I finally expressed my fear that maybe the worst thing imaginable had happened to our dear, little brother. “Ally,” I said, “maybe Tom wasn’t unconscious, maybe he’s gone.” She sobbed and cried out and said, “Doug, don’t say that.”
I’m sorry I said that Allyson, but I was kind of hoping that if I said it out loud maybe, just maybe I would be proven wrong by a happy phone call that said that Tom was found and that he was going to be alright.
I got in the car. I had to be with the family. I was crying and fearing the worst. On the way to Tom and Darlene’s I called work. I could barely get it out when I told my dear boss, Heidi that my brother Tom worked at Falk. She said “Oh no.” And I was unable to get out the words that he was among the missing. Heidi understood. (I did not return to work until after Christmas.)
At Tom and Darlene’s house, I found Darlene, Samantha, Alex and Ginny. We hugged and cried but each tried to console the other. We watched the tv coverage and discussed all the possibilities and how Darlene and the kids had spent the afternoon at Miller Park and how they had watched as other Falk employees showed up and were reunited with their tearful families but still no word of Tommy.
Dad, David, brother Dan and Danny Nicholas were still at Miller Park waiting for news. They had decided to split up and have someone there at the Stadium and have Darlene here at home in case the phone rang.
We were in Tom’s house waiting for news when Tom’s son, Danny called from Miller Park. Darlene took the call. She said hello. She listened as Danny talked and we all held our breath for some news. We all dreaded the worst but hoped and prayed for something good. Danny was talking. Darlene was listening and then suddenly we knew our boy was gone.
“How do they know? But how do they know?” Darlene was sobbing.
Samantha and Alex moved close to their mother and asked “What? What?”
“How do they know?!” she repeated. Darlene dropped the phone and said, “Tom’s dead. He’s gone!”
The kids, Darlene, Ginny and I all hugged together there on the sofa and wept.
I don’t think any of ever cried as much as we did that moment. I covered my face.
I couldn’t breathe. I was shaking. My little brother was gone. I still cannot believe it but it’s true. Tommy’s gone.
I called Jan and I called others, I can’t remember who. Everyone was coming.
Dad, Danny and Danny arrived. Danny fell into his mother’s arms. We were all in shock not knowing what to do, where to go, what to say. Everyone else arrived. Darlene’s family arrived and together the two families shared memories of Tom.
We cried. We laughed. We cried. It was so unreal and maybe none of this really ever happened. Maybe Tom too would walk in the door and share his soft smile.
Two priests showed up from Marquette High School. I think they could tell as the family was coming together that anything they said was already being said by each of us. We were taking care of each other through tears and crying. And laughter.
I believe Sarah and Dan brought sandwiches.
The phone rang again and Alex answered. “Mom, it’s the Blood Bank to remind Tom that he has an appointment to give blood tomorrow.”
Darlene’s amazing answer (and I hope you don’t mind me sharing this.) “Tell them that Tom gave at the office.” Those that heard this laughed and then we all broke into tears again.
TV camera crews came and went. None of us were in any mood to talk on film and share our grief however, I believe it was Wally and Darlene’s kids that located the sweet picture of Tom that became part of news stories of this tragedy.
It was a grey and horrible day that never should have happened and I still can’t believe that it did.
When Jan and I went home that night, the chandelier still sparkled and the Christmas tree looked pretty. We checked the phone messages. Several calls had come in from different Journal reporters. All of them were kind and understanding. Mostly they simply left their condolences and apologized for any intrusion.
Neither of us called back.
We sat in the living room and cried some more. Suddenly on the TV screen there was a picture of Tom. The dogs came to us and even they knew that we had had our hearts broken today. They licked our tears.
Tom was always interested in what I was doing or how and why I did something. He was kind of like my audience, my fan and a merciless critic. He had gotten into my head. I know he was like that for all of us. Interested in what we were up to. Sometimes he seemed so wide-eyed amazed at an idea I had that had turned out well. He made me feel good. And then other times, he'd just look at something I had made badly and smirk which meant, I had not done well this time.
Tom was in my head and heart before December 6th, but I don’t think any of us realized, not even Tom, how much we all loved him. I sure do miss him.
Doug
Why did I write this?
I wrote it because I don’t want to forget the events surrounding the day when my brother was taken from us. I want to remember the day when my dad lost a good son. I want to remember the day when Darlene lost her best friend and I want to remember that on December 6th, Danny, Samantha and Alex lost their father but were given instead a very strong and protective guardian angel.
I was just talking to Allyson on the phone and she told me the story of the brilliantly white, red-tailed hawk that she and Donn saw flying in a bright, blue sky near dad’s house on Christmas morning.
Tom’s out there, she said.
And I told Allyson that around December 3rd, Nadine had asked me for suggestions for a Christmas gift for Tom because she had his name this year. Among other ideas I offered was that she might want to get for Tom a nice, crisp white shirt.
Doug LeTendre
November 19, 2007
From Laura Colby (Vitek),
Tom's niece. Laura's parents are Ally and Donn.
Hey there Uncle Doug:
I got your e-mail and of course after reading it I started to cry I'm sure as everyone else did on Monday night. Yea the part about you being his brother I agree with but this "Special" thing....... I don't know about.......(he,he,he)
I wish I could have gotten up and said all of my memories of Uncle Tom on Tuesday but I don't think I could have made it through my first sentence without starting to cry so I am glad that you are putting together a booklet with all his memories. Being the First grandchild of this large, large, and growing larger family I have many funny memories of my Uncle Tom as many of us older niece's do. One I can remember was when I was only 3 years old (and yes I do remember parts of this trip) when me, my mom, Grandpa Joe, Grandma Kitty, and Uncle Tom all went on a trip to Washington D.C. so my mom and I could get some time away from the newest addition to our Vitek family. Ms. Becky Ann. anyone who knows Becky will know why the 10 day trip was needed. (sorry Becky, I still love you!!) I remember singing "Take me out to the ball game" the whole way there. Uncle Tom and everyone would just roll there eyes each time my cute little 3 year old mouth would start to sing it over again. I remember Uncle Tom and Grandpa getting very sick on gingerbread cookies that they ate. I remember this really scary old house that we would have to walk by each day we were there. I remember showing my butt to everyone from the bathroom door into the Hotel room.
Of course another good memory is one that my mom brought up on Tuesday. The oldest of us would always get taken to the Hello Kitty store by Uncle Tom every time we came up to visit. Like my mom said Me, Becky, Nadine, Katy and Sara would all going running up the stairs to his bedroom which was the big one up there at the time. (Uncle Doug and John took over the cool attic bedroom). And Uncle Tom would be waiting for us to take us shopping. Of course not because we got the presents did we always enjoy this, but we just liked to hang out and go places with Uncle Tom.
The State Fair is always one with good memories for everyone!! Of course being the oldest I only worked there for a little while and then summers were all about boys and your friends, which I now regret because I could have had soooo many more funny memories about being at the Fair with all my uncles. Usually it was me, Becky, Nadine, and 2 uncles that would work the shifts there. Uncle Tom was always behind the counter with us and would help out with making the popcorn, showing us how to mix snow-cone juice with Mountain Dew. (the cherry snow cone juice was the best with mountain dew), doing the cotton candy machine at the beginning because it would always burn your arm once you started. Then there were the other uncles. No names will be told, but you know who you are. "The smokers!!" "We need to take a smoking break", 1 hour later they come back with some neat hand out that they are passing out at the fair that day. We take our break to try and go find it, and YES, they are gone!! Or this was the best one, The year they had the cheerleading competition there. They went and left the 3 "Teenage" girls to work the booth!! Hmm, who do you think would have enjoyed that?!! But Uncle Tom would always let us sneak out and go get our quick Shish-Kabob, or big pickle because he knew we would always make it back right away.
Every get together will never be the same since Grandma and Uncle Tom are now gone. However, things do change for a reason (so they keep telling me) and people to go on. I just wish that we could freeze all of these moments and re-play them when ever we get sad. Which we can with our memories and never letting them die.
I just keep thinking about how funny it must be up in Heaven right now with Grandma Kitty, Aunt Barbra, and Aunt Angie all driving around with Uncle Tom going to all the best sales they can find. Grandma Kitty wandering off, and Uncle Tom trying to find her, Aunt Angie looking at all of the stuff while she is doing her whistling-breathing thing, and Aunt Barbra just laughing at all 3 of them.
I will forever miss you Uncle Tom!!! Your oldest neice, Laura Jeanne Colby (Vitek)
Doug LeTendre
November 19, 2007
From Wally, Tom's older brother.
I wasn't going to write this,but after re-reading the others I decided if they can handle it so can I, not to mention it's already heavy on my mind.
It started out like most any other day, I was having my second and last cup of coffee and just about ready to head out for work. Then the news program I was watching mentioned a huge fire and explosion in the valley, they mentioned Falk.
I remember thinking, good thing Tom and Dave now work together at the other plant.
Somehow I had it backwards. As I continued watching, I started to wonder if I did have it right, I knew they worked together now, but did they indeed work at the other place. They mentioned The Annex, now that I too remembered Tom mentioning. H-m-m, I need to find out where they work.
I decided to call Dad, I'll call and just say hi and ask how he's doing, then I'll ask if he's heard about the fire.
Well I called and asked how he's doing he said, " not very good" his voice quite strained.
I asked if He knew about Falk, he said, Yes, I've spoken to David, he's okay but he hasn't heard anything about Tom yet." So I'm thinking, With all the confusion down there that's probably not unusual. Dad say's he want's to keep the line open so we exchange I love you's and hang up. I go back to watching the news. I decide to call work and tell them I'm going to be late. I tell them both my brothers work at Falk and that one is okay but we're waiting to hear about my other brother, and I'd be in when I got news that he too was okay.
I go back to watching the news, reports start coming in of injuries.
I call Dad back, Ginny answers and say's Dave called and said he ran into Tom's boss who said a piece of machinery had fallen on Tom and he was taken away unconcious. I start going through different scenarios in my head of what could've fallen on Tom and how.
Ginny say's we have to keep the line open because they're waiting to hear from hospitals.
I go back to the news reports, flipping from channel to channel trying to get more information. One of the stations mentions one fatality, I think about how terrible that is and how lucky we are that Daves okay and Tom is being taken care of.
I decide to start calling hospitals, Fredoerht...nothing,St. Lukes, St. Mary's,even St. Joes..
no one brought in named LeTendre.
I start thinking about Dad, I know he's got Ginny there but I thought he might need me or
someone else there too. So I start heading to Dad's house, as I'm driving it becomes very apparent after awhile that I'm really not paying attention to driving, I find myself drifting left and right, not noticing cars till they're right on top off me,tears are blocking my vision as I
think of the different possibilities regarding Tom. Why hadn't any of the hospitals recieved him yet, it's been over an hour since Dave said he was taken away... away, Where?
For a second I think of where else they could have taken him, I quickly discard that thought.
The tears force me to pull over for a bit by Crowbar Rd., I sit there for some time, sobbing.
I pull myself together and continue to Dad's.
Dad and Ginny are in the kitchen, T.V. on, Dad writing down other possible information numbers that are flashed on the tv screen. We all hug and kiss, I sob on Dad's shoulder, he's not sobbing like me, but his eyes are welled up with tears. I ask if he's heard anything from Dave. He tells me, like Ginny did, that Tom was taken away unconcious but he leaves out the machinery part. Did he know more ? Was he trying to shield me from something?
I didn't pursue it.
I keep asking myself why wasn't Tom well away from that building, other people got away.
I guessed he would be trying to help the guy's shut off the gas, Not Your Job Tom !
Or maybe he's trying to clear the air opening windows, or checking that every one else is out. They are Tom! Get out of there !
I don't know exactly why he was still in there, but I know why he was, I just don't know why.
As much as I didn't want to leave Dad, I was going nuts just standing there I had to do some-thing. Dad "seemed" to be handling it pretty well, he was on a mission, a mission to find his son. What a strong man. He didn't need consoling, he needed to find Tom.
I could do nothing, I was restless, I was standing since I got there, pacing.
I ask Dad and Ginny if it would be wrong for me to go to work, I had to try and stay busy.
Without hesitating they both say, No, it's okay, you do what you have to, go.
Dad say's he's gonna pick up Uncle Dan and head over to Tom and Darlenes.
I ask Dad to please let Ginny drive, explaining how much trouble I had driving there.
He agrees,... Ginny insists. We all hug and kiss again, "Love You"...
My ride to work was very surreal, and difficult...dangerous I'm sure, lights snuck up on me,
cars appeared from nowhere.
I can't even imagine driving all the way from Illinois like Ally and Doc.
I get to work and enter thru the warehouse as usual, I immediately notice the security monitors had been disconnected from the cameras and regular t.v. is showing Falk coverage.
Every one I run into asks, How's your brother, hear anything yet, how are you doing ?
A few of the "real men" give me a hug. I watch the tv a little and attempt to get some work done. I can't concentrate on the numbers, they got all jumbled somewhere between my eyes and my brain, I'd catch myself just staring into space, I walked alot but didn't get
anything done, I kept drifting towards the monitor, trying to get some info.
Two more confirmed deaths...
I go into the lunch room and call all the hospitals again, nothing. I think about calling Amy again, I hadn't yet. She's probably in a class and what could I tell her anyway, I don't call.
One of my buddies at work comes into the lunch room and ask's
if I got any news. " No." He tells me his ex-wife works in admissions at Fredoert hospital and would I like him to call her,he say's maybe She can get some info. I of course say yes. He calls, get's a hold of her. She's checking, checking... he say's." Nothing." Still Nothing.
By now other people have entered the lunch room , all asking where my brother is.
I answer, There's only one other place they take 'em, the morgue. I couldn't believe I just said
that, outloud... and neither could anyone else. Someone say's " Wally, don't say that "
I leave the room without another word. I needed to keep moving. It's about 1:30.
I decide to go across the street to the old store and try to repair a lamp, since I couldn't handle the numbers on the inventory. I go to talk to Ted, my boss/friend, to ask where some parts might be. Before we can say much Ted's personal cell phone rings, he answers and I hear him say, "Hi Amy, have you heard anything about your uncle ?"
He then quickly hands the phone to me.
Amy was crying and could hardly get the words out, " Tom died,Uncle Tom died !"
Here was my little girl, who I was trying to protect till the very end till I knew for sure,
She's the one telling Me... her uncle, my little brother... had died.
I tell her to try to relax, breathe. I ask where she is, "Mayfair mall, everyone's
going to Uncle Tom's house." I think of how difficult it was driving to work and ask if I should pick her up there or meet her at home. We agree to meet at her house and that we both try to drive carefully. I think of my little girl in the middle of that mall, all alone with this news.
We meet-up and head to Tom and Darlenes.
I don't remember much about the ride or what we said to each other,other than me telling
Amy how Tom had called the other. I didn't.
As Amy and I are reaching Tom's driveway my brother Dan and, I believe John Baptiste are walking towards us, I say to Dan," NO WAY!
NO (expletive)WAY !!! He just stares at me.
He doesn't say a word. I wondered if he was mad at me for swearing in front of his son.
I think though, he was in shock.
Once inside, it was almost unbearable, so utterly overwhelming. I could not imagine how Darlene,Danny,Sam and Alex felt..... And Dad... my Dad. and Dave..poor Dave and Ally... Doug...John...all of us, I was being swallowed up by the emotions. Drowning in it. Each time I went down,there was another one of you pulled me to the surface. Thank you ALL, each and every one of you.
I could not believe how Dad was able to get to business, making arrangements right away, doing what needed to be done. He was on a mission, a new mission now,.. to give his Son a proper burial.
As day turned to night, the stories started to go into full gear. The Remember Whens.
We laughed, we cried. I thought of the movie Steel Magnolias, the line that came to mind was," One of my favorite emotions is laughter through tears." It seems it's in our blood,
to laugh thru the tears.
Towards the end of the evening I was sitting across from Sarah. I was noticing how the windows were half apart, the living room still not painted. I said to Sarah," I'm gonna' kick his butt, do you know how much work he left us!
We laughed,... and then we cried.
The healing process had begun.
I Love You All, Wally
(Okay, I'm all cried out for today.)
Doug LeTendre
November 19, 2007
From Becky Vitek-Vaughn sent January 2007. Tom was Becky's godfather and she is the daughter of Ally and Donn.
Doug said I should send this to all. Not trying to make you cry or whatever, but it felt good to get it out and on paper/air(?). Love you all, Becky
I had the same thoughts all the time. As we were working on our new house I would think if Tom would like the paint color, or he tell me how we should fix up the backyard. Every year I put up my tree, I would think of Tom (he probably gave me at least 80% of my ornaments. I would think, "Boy he knows my taste really well." I guess he "got" me.
December 6th, I was sitting at my computer ordering uncle Tom's Christmas gift ( how ironic) when Greg emailed me and said there was an explosion at Falk, but that one of the guy's he works with has a dad at Falk and he said that uncle Dave was alright. I thought to myself, "Of course he's alright--he's one of my uncle's!" I then remembered that Tom worked there too when I received an email from Katy saying Tom was found unconscious and being taken to a hospital. Still I thought, "o.k. that's fine. He probably just got hit with something and is a bit out of it. No problem, he's o.k. Besides, if something really bad happened, someone would have called me." This was about 8:30. An hour later, I called mom and dad to see if there was any news and they said they didn't know anymore details, but would call me in my classroom when they heard. So, I went about my day teaching, even talking about it at lunch with some teachers. Saying how two of my uncle's work there. One is fine, but the other was taken to a hospital. One of the teachers said she had just heard three men were found dead. Not even then did I think it was uncle Tom. HE WAS AT THE HOSPITAL AND JUST FINE!!! I just kept saying, no he's at the hospital and I will find out more soon. That was 1:05 pm. I went back to my class and no call from the P's, so I was feeling good.
Then the phone rang--1:50pm. I was just having a second grade class line up, I walked to the phone and it was dad (still thinking he was just going to say, Tom's fine, he was banged up a bit, but he's fine).
"Do you have kids in there, Becky?"
"Yeah, they're getting ready to leave."
"Bec, the news about your uncle isn't good."
"o.k."--thinking to myself, o.k. his legs are gone, that's fine, we can wheel him around. We can handle that!
"Your uncle Tom didn't make it," sniff from dad.
"What?!!!" as I let in a gasp.
"Becky, Tom was killed in the explosion."
"O.k. I have to go dad, I'll call you later." I said crying in front of my kids.
"Call us when you can, Bec. Love you."
I hung up, turned around and burst into tears. The teacher was there to pick up her class. When I saw her, I ran into the hall and kind of went nuts. My friend Ann was out in the hall talking to a parent and I just started saying, "He's dead. He's dead!" She grabbed me and took me into the bathroom. She just hugged me for a while and then asked was I sure. I had already emailed many people to say Tom was in the hospital and to say a prayer. I was shaking so bad, I couldn't get out a sentence! We stayed in there awhile and then i walked down to the office. Another friend called from her room, "Hey, Vaughny!" I looked in and started the whole process over.
Finally, I got to the teacher's lounge and called Greg to tell him, he was in shock. I then called mom and we cried on the phone for a while. "I am going home mom. Come pick me up on your way to aunt Darlene's." O.k. was all she could say.
The secretary and principal came in hugged me and let me cry and shake some more. Then came in "The Jetta." This is the group girls I hang out with. We call ourselves Jetta because we always drive places in Rayelle's VW Jetta. Anyway, they came and we all hugged and cried. I couldn't stop shaking! I don't think that has ever happened before. I started talking and just telling them all these things and stories about uncle Tom. That's all I could do. 30 minutes later, the principal drove me home. I just sat in the living room for a while completely in shock and crying.
You're right Doug--these things don't happen to OUR family. That's what I kept thinking. It can't be true. Why Tom? Why didn't he get out? Why was he to help out? Just leave the building!! But that was Tom. He had to try and help, he had to tell others to leave. He had to. That was him. He had to.
I miss him everyday and still sometimes can't believe I won't see him. But lucky, he has met me in my dreams and I thank him for that!
Love you Doug and thanks for writing that. I think we all want and need to remember where we were and what we did. Love ya, Becky (Angel #3).
Doug LeTendre
November 13, 2007
From Allyson, Tom's oldest sister
dear family--
it's sat. morning about 10:30. i just finished reading all the memories of Dec. 6th. right now -- i'm feeling like you all have said -- sad but also we don't want to forget that day. tom was our brother, son, husband, father,uncle , godfather and friend to so many. but most of all he was "all ours". his smile, his eyes, his comments, his help, his love of family is ours forever. i don't think -- i can write about that day yet -- even though i think about often. so many things remind me about tom thruout the day. gifts i got from him, ornaments on the tree, a couple t-shirts i still have from way back when and then -- the pictures! love the pictures. thank you dad -- for being so consistent about taking them even when most of us didn't want you to take them! tom seems to be in the back row,(yes, he was tall), in the background or off to the side in so many. my thoughts are --he is and was always watching us and getting a better view of all that was happening at the time. i know this has been said before but -- tom was and is so much more a part of this family than he ever could imagine. he was like the silent partner. the one who would know the right thing to do but didn't have to shout it at you. the last picture i have of tom is at our house on nov.5th. tom is out on our deck between darlene and frank. i look at that exact spot all the time now. it's his spot. darlene -- your words and thoughts have helped me and i know that those hawks were watching over you and giving you their blessing. tom has given this family a very clear picture of who we all are as a family. God bless this beautiful and blessed family. we are each other's keeper and our family circle of love is never-ending. love -- ally
Doug LeTendre
November 12, 2007
From Nadine Clausing-LeTendre, Tom's niece. Her parents are David and Denise. Sent January 2007.
As I read these stories, I feel my heart aching again, like that day.
I remember December 6th, like it just happend last week. Something like this isn't suppose to happen...to us...but unfortunately it does...and it sucks.
That morning Joel was taking Ashley to school, and when he started the car, the radio was on, and he heard about a fire. So he poked his head in and said "just so you know..there was a fire at Falk". then he left. What?...so I turned the TV on. I felt the blood rush down to my feet when I saw and heard what had happened. I instantly thought about my dad. "My dad works and walks through that whole area". I started to instantly cry. I frantically search for my phone, and call my mom crying. She reassured my dad was OK. He just called her, and he said they were looking for Tom.
Then I felt sick again, because mom said that Tom worked right there. I started to cry again.
(After kids you get even more emotional it seems like?)
I was pretty much glued to the TV all morning and afternoon trying to find answers. I kept calling my mom to find out things. She told me the same...nothing. "They still don't know where Tom is. Someone said He was unconscience. Dad is still looking."
I'm thinking that he is still ok. I see the ambulances on TV, and think to myself that he is being put on one of those. He's OK. Just a bump on the head.
The watching the hospital reports...they weren't telling names, just injuries. I'm thinking OK, Tom is one with the head injuries at Freodert.
I've been calling my mom wondering, but still no answer. They are going to Darlene's now.
I think deep inside I knew. I kept crying off and on, because I knew...but wished it wasn't true.
Then it was confirmed.
When I think about the reasons we are here...it's all for a purpose. Some may disagree, but I think that Tom was put here for a reason, and taken away for a reason. It may even seem unfair that he was taken away this way. In fact I know it was. But if I have to take something good out of this...as hard as it is...It is to make us all look at our lives with our eyes open, and appreciate everyone we love, and not take things for granted. Maybe Tom was supposed to help bring us together somehow? Make us closer? Help make us understand what he has been trying to say to all of us all this time...even when we didn't want to listen in the past.?
I guess I'm trying to find answers. I probably never will...but all I can say is that I am very fortunate to have all of you as my family. I'm a very lucky little girl. (So are you all...tee hee)
Like my wise little cousin Amy had said.."You can't change the past, you can only make positive changes to the present and future." OK...maybe not exact words, some same point.
Love you all very much!
xoxoxox
Nadine Marie Catherine Clausing – LeTendre
Doug LeTendre
November 12, 2007
From Tom's little brother, Dan. Sent in January 2007.
This is Uncle Dan. I wanted to share some of my thoughts from Dec. 6 but some how feel that for me the story is different for me and perhaps still to close. I know that for what happened to me that day was, and it’s hard to find the proper words, to express the range of emotions that I went through. I know that it was to difficult for me to stay at Darlene’s with the tv on and the crying and uncertainty that existed there. I just wanted it to stop. When I heard we were going to Miller Park to look for Tom I wanted to go because I felt that I was going to find him and that all this was gonna stop and people would be happy again. When we were being led down that long corridor I thought that we would be led to a room that would be full of Falk workers and that they would be talking and we would find out where Tom was and thank them and call every one and meet at the hospital. It did not happen that way. Instead we were led down another smaller corridor to a small room. Where only 5 people were. I sensed something bad right away and we went around and made introductions. It seems the only one I remember is when the woman said “Red Cross.” But I know 1 was a Falk vip and one was from Rexnord and a priest and a detective. They said if there was anything we needed and slowly slid us a crisis info packet. I thought and this is all happening very fast and very slow at the same time.
We just need to know where Tom is so we can call Darlene and she can be ok. There is a bit of silence then the detective looks at dad and tells him that he was sorry and that Tom did not make it out. I will never forget the look on Dads face and how he said What? or how it felt like someone just kicked me in the stomach. One of my first thoughts was where is little Danny I stand to go find him the detective sits me back down and tells me someone is bringing him here. I think I just wanted to get up and get away though. I wanted the pain and disbelief to go away; run away from it if I could. It seemed like we sat at that table for a long time and to have to listen to Daniel call his mother to me was so brave on his part and also very sad because I did not think that he should have to grow up so quickly. The rest of what happened is not as clear to me because I didn't want to hear anymore, they gave phone numbers and names and places to call but I just wanted to go to leave to see my family together I wanted Tom and for this to be a big mistake. I will stop because it is painful to remember these things but I know that when I got back to Darlene’s and was able to see my family and hug them and cry with them that the healing was already starting to take place. There are things that happen in life and I don't always understand why but I know that when this happened I thought; why Tom? Why not me? Tom was a far better person than me he deserves to be here. But now when I look back and I see how this tragic event has brought about a change in us I see maybe just a little bit why. Tom was the ingredient needed to make this happen. There is more I would like to say but need to stop for a bit it still hurts. Dan
Doug LeTendre
November 12, 2007
From Sarah Gundersen-Nerad. Sent January 2007. Tom was Sarah's uncle. Sarah is daughter of Maura and Frank Gundersen.
Wow...I too have similar thoughts of Uncle Tom too.
I had been meaning to call him throughout the whole month of November, but kept putting it off because I knew the call would be long and I had so many other things to get done. Everytime I went into my studio for something I thought of Tom. One of the last times he was down there he chuckled, paused and said "Sarah I am so disappointed in you. I thought you were much more organized than this." (In my defense Bella was only about 7 or 8 months old and I had school and work.) He didn't care, he told me he'd get Samantha over to babysit and that way she could see my studio because they had plans to make one for her as well. Many times as I walk through my kitchen I would think of Tom. He had many ideas for my kitchen and I am very pleased when he saw it completed he was silent...he loved it, I was so proud. But of course he turned his attention to another room in my house that needed work. Oh well, that was Tom for ya.
Well on December 6 I was woken by a phone call from Dan. He asked if I was okay. I didn't understand why. He told me about the explosion. I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. I thought I was going to be sick and immediately told him Tom and Dave work there, I have to call Grandpa right now. I asked how grandpa was, hoping he would say fine, because both of my sons are okay. Well he said "not good, there was an explosion at Falk" I know grandpa I wanted to know that you heard from Tom and Dave. Well Sarah, Dave is fine. But we're not sure about Tom. Dave's looking for him. So I told him to call me as soon as he heard anything. I flipped on the television. It was horrible. But with all the chaos it seemed normal to not know just yet. I called my mom and asked if she heard anything. She for some reason thought both Dave and Tom worked at the other location so was not even worried at all. I told her I'd call Grandpa back. it was about an hour or so later. Grandpa said Dave talked to someone that saw Tom was knocked unconscious and was taken away. They just didn't know where he was and they were waiting for hospitals to call them back. I got off the phone so I didn't hang up their line. I seemed better, he's not dead I told myself, he's just hurt. I thought about what I bring him at the hospital. I would stay there all night if I needed to. I figured he might have the idea that we didn't care to visit him. I know he sometimes had thoughts that he was kind of an outsider. Well because of this I had to make sure I took him something special and told him how happy I was that he was okay. I finally get Bella out of bed around 10:30 or 11am...she'd been talking to herself for long enough and was starting to cry. I kept the tv on. I saw that someone had died. I got nervous. I called grandpa. He's not at the hospital where the major injuries had been taken, that was good. He wasn't hurt badly. But why don't we know where he is. I let grandpa go. I call Dan. Give him information. Hours go by now and I'm freaking out. It should not take this long. Now three people are dead and all are accounted for. I call my mom and she's not home, she left with Aunt Mary Jo. Now I'm pissed. If they went to the hospital without me, I swear. I leave a mean message on my mom's cell phone. About 15 minutes later I get a call. Sarah we're just going to Darlene's. We still don't know anything and Dan wants us to be there. I tell her I want to go but Bella is eating and then needs a nap. So call me when she hears something. Shortly after that I get another call from my mom. I feel sick. She's very quiet. "Sarah.........I'm sorry." Shut up, no, don't be sorry, no, no, please don't be sorry, I don't want you to be sorry, mom stop it, NO" Now she's crying and I'm hysterical and Bella's staring at me and she starts to cry and reach for me. I tell my mom I have to call Dan so I can get over there. I call Dan and he can barely understand me. I'm choking, sniffling and screaming he's dead, he's dead, Dan please come home. I hang up, grab Bella and hug her so tight. She's crying, I'm trying to calm down for her, but it's hard. We sit on the kitchen floor and start rocking, and crying. I try to calm myself enough to call Amy. I leave a message on her phone...Tom was hurt very badly in the explosion call me asap. She calls me back crying, she knows, we cry. I eventually realize I have rocked Bella asleep. Dan gets home and we are still rocking. He tries to take Bella. I won't let her go. She is the only thing keeping me sane. She wakes up and I tell Dan we have to go now. (Bella has only slept for 15 minutes in my arms) We pack up, grab a bunch of pizzas, and I am not understanding how this is happening.
I talked to a bunch of friends though out the day and told them all Tom was hurt, he's not at the bad hospital, he's going to be okay....how can this be happening, I don't understand.
I have the same why's Becky. I wish Uncle Tom wouldn't have tried to help, but that just is not him. My mission since Dec. 6th sitting in the living room with Dan has been to help get that house in order. "Dan we have to fix this house" Well I've been putting my energy into writing letters, researching who and where there are organizations who can help. I have to help Uncle Tom with this, I just have to. He would do anything for me and I need him to know I would do anything for him as well.
Now whenever I do my dishes I think of Tom. He got me a sink I didn't use, and I never had a chance to give back. A few days ago I went out to the garage to look at the sink. There was also a bag of my old kitchen hardware inside the sink. Tom told me not to get rid of it, someone will want that he told me. So I saved it for him, he can find someone who wants it. Now it sits in my garage waiting for Tom to pick it up.....Damn it Tom, Why?
Love you all
Sarah
Doug LeTendre
November 12, 2007
From Tom's sister-in-law, Mary Jo. Sent January 2007. Mary Jo is married to Dan, Tom's little brother.
Boy, those both were intense. But I agree, I keep thinking about him alot.
I would like to share the day I found out:
I was at work, the woman who sits next to me got a call from her sister around 9:00, I think. Her sister lives on the south side and said she thought there was an earthquake,her whole house had shook, then she turned on the TV and it said Falk had exploded. When Nilsa hung up she said "Falk exploded!" I asked her which one, thinking there were still two and she said "the one in the valley"
My first thoughts and words were "I have two brother-in-laws who work there". I called Dad right away, thinking he did not know, when he answered I thought I had woke him up, his voice sounded funny, then I realized he was crying. He told me David called that he was fine and that Tom had been taken to the hospital. He would keep us posted.
I called Dan he was off of work and was suppose to be going to lunch with Dad. He couldn't hear me very well. I told him not to call Dad right away as they were trying to keep the line open. (Fat chance with a big family and everyone worrying)
In the meantime, some of my fellow employees had the news up on their computers so I was watching it off and on. Like the both of you, I was not in a real panic as I thought he would be scratched up, but okay. Especially when I got word from Dad that he was not at Froedert Hospital, thinking that would be for the most traumatized patients.
Dan called me a few times, still no word, I called Maura, still no word.
Then Dan called me said he was going to Darlene's with Dad, still no news. But they could not locate him at any hospitals. Now I am getting shaky. But still, they will find him he will be okay.
I went to lunch, came back and Dan called at 12:45...."leave work now, have Jake pick you up and come over to Darlene's, Tom had still not been found, it is crazy over here. Please come now." Now I am physically shaking...something is not right here...
Jake picked me up, I picked up Maura and Chris and we headed to Darlene's, I remember saying to them "I don't feel good about this, it has been too long of a time without any news"
When we pulled up to Darlene's alot of the cars were not there, I said "maybe they found him, but why wouldn't they have called?" The house looked empty, Maura went to the door and came back to the car..."something's wrong, Alex answered and is really upset"
As we walked in the house, the first person we saw was Darlene..."No, no, no my mind was saying, he was not one of the three, my heart knew it was a yes"...we got there right after she got the call.
I too find myself remembering how I felt, only three have been found out of hundreds, it will not be Tom, he will be fine....we have a huge family, everyone is healthy, happy he will be fine, those things don't happen to the LeTendre family.
I still feel sometimes, like it is not real yet. Yes he will be at get togethers, yes he will be at Noah's ark with us, yes we will go to Muskego beach ect...
All my love
Mary Jo
Doug LeTendre
November 12, 2007
Rememberance of Tom's niece, Katy Vitek-Hinsdale. Katy's mother, Allyson is Tom's older sister.
Well after reading all of your stories (it's been very hard!), I thought sharing my story might help with my own healing...so here it goes...
I got to work around 8:45 December 6th and got online to check email, etc. I went to this Wisconsin chat room about weddings that I'm now addicted too (yes, my wedding is over, but we don't talk about just weddings:)). One of the girls was saying how grateful she was that she didn't have any family/friends that worked at Falk and how bad the holidays would be...hmmm....kind of odd. My first thought was there were mass lay-offs and families would be suffering financially during the holidays. Of course I thought of Uncle Tom and Uncle Dave right away and prayed they still had their jobs!
I kept reading more posts and realized there was an explosion. I immediately went to jsonline.com and read the breaking news....and then called mom, worried, but thinking if anything bad happened I would have gotten a call. I asked mom if Uncle Tom and Uncle Dave worked at the Falk "in the valley"--she was silent and then said yes. I told her what happened and my dad got on the phone...I told them to go online to look at the news and my mom quickly said she was calling Grandpa--I of course said call me right away if you hear ANYTHING!!
I kept refreshing the JS website for updates and said a prayer in my office to Grandma Kitty. My mom called minutes later and said Uncle Dave is okay, but they are still looking for Uncle Tom--although his boss said he was unconscious and on a stretcher. I tried to keep my spirits up and think, okay, he's probably at a hospital and it's so chaotic there, they haven't been able to contact families yet. But for some reason, my gut was telling me something different and I started crying because--how could I even think that?? I also thought, damn--I bet he was one of the last guys out telling everyone else to leave--so like Uncle Tom! But damn, why didn't you just leave??
I emailed Becky and Phil about what had happened and to say a prayer for Uncle Tom. Phil called me from work and said to call him as soon as I heard anything about Uncle Tom (which is rare, because I never call Phil at work--he usually can't get calls). So I went about my day and really only told my friend whose office is next to me about what was going on...for some reason i just didn't have the strength to tell anyone else at work. I was trying to work but kept having to go to the washroom and cry and kept my door closed, literally praying and talking to Grandma Kitty.
I remember looking at the hospital reports and calling mom asking how old Uncle Tom was--none of the ages of those injured matched Uncle Tom...and then they confirmed 3 dead and my heart sank. I'm not sure when my dad called, but right when i saw he was calling from his cell phone I just had a horrible feeling. I answered:
"Hi Dad..."
"Hey Katy. Um, it's not good news about your Uncle Tom"
right away I burst into tears and said (or tried to say) "he died?"
"yeah, Kate, he didn't make it out." I could hear my dad choked up on the other line, which made me cry even more.
"But is sounded like your Uncle was quite a hero and I'm sure saved a lot of people today"
I just kept crying and said I had to call Phil and go home.
I hung up and just cried. I called Phil and I think he knew right away before he even got me on the phone. He said he'd meet me at home right away. I couldn't even tell my boss what happened. I just cried and went to the bathroom for about 10 minutes, crying uncontrollably. I came out and just walked into my friend Allison's office and she just knew, gave me a hug and said she'd tell David (my boss) what happened. I got my coat and my co-worker Mary (She's like the "mother" of the office) just came into my office and hugged me. I tried to tell her what happened and she said, "Don't...I'll find out, just go home." Many people offered to drive me home (which I should have taken them up on) but I drove home and Phil was waiting at the door and gave me a hug...I just remember saying "this sucks!"
The day before, Phil and I decided to get our Christmas tree on Dec. 6th. When we got home that awful day, I was just kind of sitting around watching coverage and thinking--this is unreal--just surreal, seeing pictures of Uncle Tom on TV. Then I remembered we were going to get our tree today--and asked Phil if he would go get it....he was a little surprised and asked if I was up for it. I told him Christmas was Uncle Tom's favorite and he loved decorating the tree--so decorating the tree that day, I felt a little closer to Uncle Tom.
I think of Uncle Tom often--and thinking back, I really did think of him a lot before this--which like others have said, I wish/hope he knew. I remember when I decided to put together everyone's info. for the family directory, I specifically thought of Uncle Tom and how he would appreciate this--a way for all of us to keep in touch with each other.
Thanks for letting me get this out--in a way it is very therapeutic. I love this big family so much and as we've all said--I hate that we are all emailing now and Uncle Tom can't be a part of it. But I know Uncle Tom is reading all these with Grandma laughing....and I know that it's helpful to find the good that comes out of tragedies and I know Uncle Tom would be so happy that we are all closer and keeping in touch/seeing each other more...I think he's smiling down on all of us everyday!
Love you all,
Katy
Doug LeTendre
November 5, 2007
Following email was sent in January of 2007 to us all by Tom's nephew, Andrew Gundersen. He is the son of Frank and Maura.
Hello Everyone,
This letter I am writing is regarding the day Uncle Tom was taken from us. I haven't been involved in the back and forth e-mails unfortunately. Yet I have been reading them. That day was so unbearably difficult for all of us.
Tuesday, December 6, 2006!
This is a day we will all remember for the rest of our lives. This day has shown us how important life is and how important family is too. This was a most difficult day at that. As in the case of most of us, I remember exactly what happened that day and how that day went, beginning to end. I would like to share my day with all of you like ya'll have shared with me and my family and the rest of this gigantic family.
Well, here we go.....
I was in my fourth hour class at Central High School. This was my Desktop Publishing class... What a boring class I might add. I was sitting at my table doing my normal thing; listening to music via the computer and doing class work via the computer. Then all of a sudden my teacher stood up and said, "I have an announcement! There has been an explosion at FALK. If anyone wants to see it, come to my desk." As if it was exciting or something, this was a tragedy. I thought to myself; huh might as well, it does get me out of class work for a little bit. It didn't even cross my mind that Uncle Tom or Uncle Dave even worked there. To tell you the truth I had no clue Dave even worked there. I also thought Tom was at the one on Capitol Drive, which has now been brought to my attention that that one was torn down a while ago. Sorry Uncle Dave!!! The whole time I figured they were both alright. I then went on with the school day. Now I was on my way home and I was walking down the hill on 92nd and I saw my mom and brother Chris getting into Aunt Mary Jo's car with Mary Jo. As this is happening my mom yells, "Andy! Call me as soon as you get a chance! Love ya, bye." So I yell back, "OK!!" Tell you the truth I don't think I even called her. Sorry Mom. So I continue, and I ended up leaving and going to my friend’s house and Alf calls me. He told me the news and I instantly said, "I'm on my way home!," and I hung up. I told my friends what had happened and that I had to leave.
I got home and I instantly found Alf, hugged him and asked him how the HELL are we gonna get to Tom and Darlene's house. That day was difficult for all of us and it sucks. That was one of the worst days of my/our lives.
I LOVE YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!
Andy
Sarah Nerad
November 4, 2007
I could easily write remember-when’s about my uncle for weeks, but now I would like to share what I believe Uncle Tom has passed on to me.
Ever since the morning I found out I lost my uncle, I keep encountering things that just are not right or fair. I’m sure they were around me before, but now they are so clear. I now find myself striving to help others more and figure out a way to “fix” things that should be better. As those of you that knew Tom well, he was one of those people that was always thinking about how to make everything and anything better. (yes, at times it got irritating)
I have been working for eight months to figure out a way to help repair Aunt Darlene’s home, I’ve come so close and I’m not sure how it will turn out. Nevertheless, I know Uncle Tom is on my side and he has thanked me for this. Maybe he is not thanking me for getting it done, but rather for trying so hard.
I have been wanting to buy new furniture for my living room and basement and every time I drive by a chain furniture store I hear Tom’s voice “That stuff is all over-priced junk, I know where you can find it better and cheaper.” I can pretty much guarantee that I will hear those words for the rest of my life. I wish I would have received more lessons from him about this, but maybe I can consult his children for guidance.
This past year has been a huge struggle, with not only the loss of Tom and other family members, but it tested my strength as well as my families’. I was having very bad headaches for a couple of weeks, Uncle Tom sent me a warning to go in to get it checked out. I was diagnosed with a pineal gland brain tumor in early June. I thank him all the time. Who knows what could have happened if I would have waited longer. When I found out, I had to undergo brain surgery I was scared, very scared. I sought strength and guidance from my uncle and Grandma Kitty. I am sure this was hard for my entire family to go through so soon after the loss of Tom and because of the memories it brought back of my grandma’s brain surgery and the struggle we all had letting her go. The fact that we lost her in the very hospital I would have my surgery in, I am sure was no comfort. However, I had and still have, grandma and Tom’s strength. I was scared, but I knew I had amazing people watching over me. Surgery went well. I just finished radiation October 29 and everyday I drove to the hospital I passed Uncle Tom’s cemetery and entered the building that Grandma spent her last moments. I know they were with me for every single treatment the entire six weeks. I had so many conversations with Tom as I drove down 27th street. “Why was this happening? I don’t want to do it anymore? Why did you have to leave? I need you here now to give me stupid advice and make me feel better.” As I spoke to him I realized he was here, he’ll always be here and I can guess what stupid advice he may have given me. That brought me comfort and again strength.
I have always been a go-getter. I put all I have into everything I do. I thrive on stress and I crave having too many things going on at once. The loss of Tom made me put life in perspective, but obviously, I was not listening. Sure, we all do it. Something bad happens and we change for a little while and then it is back to our old ways. Well, I was tested again, in another way. This time my own health was at risk. I am now forced to slow down and I have to think about what is truly important. FAMILY. Tom knew it. Grandma knew it. They have both been forcing me to stop a moment and truly understand what it is all about. It is not about being the best in school, the best at work, the best teacher, the best anything. Yes, you should do well in life. Be proud of whom you are and what you do, but do not let it take over you and away from who matters the most…YOUR FAMILY. They are the ones that will always be there for you; when you are young, silly, stupid, sad, happy, old, and sick. Even when our loved ones are not physically here, they are with us. This is what I will teach my own children.
Thank you Uncle Tom for helping me stay in this world a little while longer to spend time with our wonderful family. You will always be in my heart and the hearts of so many.
I love you! xoxox
Frank Gundersen
October 30, 2007
I'd like to say that Tom was indeed a remarkable person from a remarkable family. Tom and I weren't close but yet even now I miss him. I know his sister Maura, my wife, thinks about him often. Tom was a unique individual we are proud to have known.
Eunice Mueller
July 23, 2007
You could not live anywhere near 46th St without knowing the Letendres and Silkey families. If it was not the little Silkey girls or their brothers causing a ruckus it was the Letendre brothers hanging out the windows causing a stir. People today do not appreciate how close the families in the old area lived with only 8 feet between the houses. Yet there was such a respect for those scant 8 feet. Remember well the kids would play out front when parties went on to respect the line of privacy. Mrs. Kelly use to always complain about those kids and the idea there were to many children between those two houses and on the block. I remember particularly an event that showed wrong Mrs. Kelly was. I went looking for Shirley one day and the kids were around playing. Asked where she was and the kids said they weren't allowed to say. I had to get from John who was babysitting that Shirley and Joe had gone shopping. So enjoyed those kids growing up. My sympathies to all those so touched by the loss of Tom. My granddaughter is writing this as computers are beyond me. I want to add my thoughts so the LeTendre family knows how many lives they touched in a positive way. We lived across from the Silkeys, Margaret and Frank.
Julie Eisner (Shamoya)
July 19, 2007
We keep Darlene and Tom's kids, Joe, Shirley, Allison, David, John, Doug, Daniel, Maura, Wally together with thier spouses and children in our thoughts and prayers. Shirley was the first to extend her hand to our family always taking time to say Hi as we walked by. Remember Tom with happiness. His short life achieved much and gave to many. Julie Eisner, we lived across from Taylors
May 15, 2007
I waited to sign this guest book in honor of Tom because having shared the loss of family I know the real heartache of the loss sets in months later. Shirley was a good mother who raised fine kids that stand out from the crowd to be good people. The families in the old neighborhood were all decent, hard working folks with strong values. We were all blessed to have known each other and to have had an island where our children did not know hunger. Our kids learned to share and be kind because it was the way of life then. We did not think in terms of life today our children could play outside, roam houses of the neighbors and enjoy a freedom kids today do not know. The families that shared eggs, laughs and alley parties knew each others secrets and had differences that were resolved with humanity. Tom like so many others passed on early in life as a testament to the working class lives in that area. None of us were going to be President or a King. Our children especially those of Tom's age knew they were headed to factory work without many options. The real value and spirit of Tom was despite knowing the hardship ahead he kept his faith and his love at the center of life. This is all we have really in life and all we take with us. In the end it doesn't matter at all Tom was not crowded a King anymore than the other kids were. They didn't need to be, they were Kings among Kings. Kids as likely the last generation to have courage of their convictions. I prefer not to say who I am. Know my heart goes out to you all and I truly do understand your loss. My son died in the 80's of cancer at 28 and my daughter died last year.
Zebedee LeTendre
March 28, 2007
I wish I could have got to know Tom better, he and my father would hang out at family gatherings when they were young. Tom and my father Bobby LeTendre were so young but lived full lives in the years they were here, I think they are keeping their mom's company.
Mary Garson
March 6, 2007
Our sincere sympathies to the entire LeTendre family. When we heard about Tommy's passing we were all drawn to our own memories of those special days. The names in this guest book remind us so of such happy times. I can remember so clearly Shirley & Joe at their kids weddings, backyard get togethers and just everyday life. Share the thought of Tommy being so happy when his nieces and nephews were born. Also remember Tommy's trips to the candy store for his Mom and the little things he did like remember my kid's birthdays. He was such a good boy but so were his brother. Never had a peep of trouble out of the LeTendres which can't be said for the larger families on the other end of the blocks especially those Greeks and Toys that made all that noise.
David & Scott Risch (from 45th)
March 1, 2007
Our family just learned of Tom's passing. In reading the guest book we all found ourselves remembering that past on good ol' 46 street. The names that signed this guest book remind of such good times as well as the troubled waters. I remember so clearly a very heated discussion between the kids playing defining who's area was who's. Can't recall anymore if it was Doug or John teasing the girls refusing to budge out their space. I do remember well Tom saying something that I think stuck with all the kids, "We are all family here" Years later I happen to run into Tom and went back to the old area where there was some party going on, one of those backyard anyone is welcome things. He said those samem words again to break up some fight between the kids. Family really did mean everything to him. Fast forwarding again here I ran into Tom shortly after my sister died and I felt so low in life. We sat for a long time talking about life and he said he had found someone to marry but hadn't told anyone yet. Then he talked about what marriage and family meant to him. I felt better when I walked away. Never saw Tom again after that but I did hear through the neighbors he had married and had children. As special as Tom was I think he liked being the quiet type because his heart was so easily broken. For a guy that wasn't an easy thing. For my brother and I Tom was god send at a very difficult time. Just a friend that laid out his heart. That was right about the time Maura had Sarah. Tom was so proud to be an uncle. He said he treasured all of the kids as gifts. My brother and I remain so close even after many troubled waters. Our parents passed on years ago. I raised my sister's son who now has his own family and never married. My brother Scotty married three times and has five sons that keep me busy.
Jake (Buzzy) Lawrence
February 22, 2007
Dear Le Tendre Family,
Tom's passing has so deeply touched me that words not enough. In reading the guest book entries I think his family has forgotten Tom did not materialize from nowhere, his values came from his family. They simply were more upfront and in the open, with his heart on his sleeve. When we were kids Tom had only that one dream to marry and have kids. I use to tell him he had to have more, but that was all he wanted. Years later when we had time as adults I reminded him about that one dream. He said it was enough for him. I never found that same sense of bliss in life but they I was born to roam.
Julie OBranovich
February 18, 2007
I just wanted to share with everyone some feelings that I have about my Uncle Tom. The one memory that I will treasure forever about my Uncle Tom is the day of my college graduation. I told my parents that they should not make a big deal about the event. They told a select few about my graduation and then the day rolled around. In all about 15 people showed up to the graduation and one of them was my Uncle Tom. I am told (since I was not sitting with them) that the seats were not close enough. He moved everyone closer to the stage area (to an area where they were not supposed to be, mind you) and then he brought out the cow bells. Not one but numerous cow bells. As my name was called that was all that I heard. I will always cherish the fact that he made his way to Madison to see my graduation. This is just one of many examples of how he made time in his life for everyone else. I love my Uncle Tom so much and I will treasure the moments that I had with him forever.
Kevin & Penny Steinhouse
February 11, 2007
I have to agree with the sentiments many shared about Tom. Those were the days and life in the old neighborhood was the best. My wife and I just returned from a tour of duty in Europe where we visited Rome. Kept thinking walking around those ancient streets who were the people that lived on those streets so long ago. What were their dreams, hopes, wishes & trials of life all about that no history book can tell? What will people remember about us centuries from now? For some that did not know Tom in the better days growing up on 46 ST his life may have seemed ordinary. Just another shoe on the streets of old Rome. But we that knew him know better and his legacy is that we tell the next generation about him and keep his values alive. To keep his footprints in the sand alive. For the people that signed this guest book where names represent the best part of my youth I can say I found such comfort to hear their names again. For me I can feel again that special something from those people in that area that cared about one another. For Tom's kids I want to share one of my favorite memories of life so long ago. There was this joke going around that Tom borrowed eggs through the window from the Silkeys so I egged him on to show me. We both climbed into the window of the LeTendres dining room & yelled out the window to get an egg. One of the Silkeys threw the egg & it landed on Mrs. LeTendres carpet. Like boys we left in a hurry. Mrs. LeTendre I don't think figured out how that egg got on her floor. Few days later we wanted to try a science experiment to toss an egg into the Silkeys house. Got the aim just right & the egg went into a window. Few minutes later we heard Mrs. Silkey giving you know what to Danny who was standing outside. Sorry Danny that you got what for, it was me that egged Tom on!
June Clever
January 30, 2007
Little Wally,
Having brothers is never easy. There is no rule that says you must be a "fan" of every brother. Brothers are suppose to be different, unique to this world. Each has its own fate and its life to lead. What brothers are is the one place to go to find a friend no matter what fate life dealt. You, David, Doug, Danny and John were all good brothers to each other and good people in the world. What differences you had were laid aside more often than not. Seeing your brother, any brother, die is an Earth shattering experience. In the end we are what we are for better or worse and only we can change ourselves. Tommy and I were opposites in many ways, the same in others. He called me June Clever and I called him Ward, not because we especially liked each other. But rather because we had families always doing the Beaver Clever antics.
Debra Danfield (Schlag)
January 26, 2007
For every Christmas for as long as my parents owed their candy shop on Center, Tom use to come in to buy a secret present for his Mom. He said all the kids exchanged names but he had to buy something extra for his Mom. He use to tell my Dad he'd buy him a piece of candy too. One year he came in with photos to prove how big his family was. That was when my mother realized he was a LeTendre and she knew Shirley well from the state fair. In those days Tom was shorter than the older boys, blonde and we didn't connect the dots that he was the brother of Wally, David and John. My parents many years ago both passed on & that candy shop is long since gone. The people from that area remain in my heart forever. My sympathies to all of you.
Rich Dulack
January 22, 2007
Wally, Dorene & AmyJo -
We just found out about Tom today after getting back from tending to my mother's estate. The name LeTendre like so many of the 46th area families meant alot in the days. A loss of one of us is a loss to all. Ride loud, proud Tom. Raise a glass for old Tom, he was a hell of a kid with a good heart that kept it clean.
Jill Pedkowski (Albright)
January 22, 2007
I wanted to share a story about Tom. When I was just 20yrs in 1983 old I was in a horrific, abusive relationship. One day after being beaten pretty badly I went to Silkeys looking for Sandy who was my best friend then. I waited in the alley for hours for her but then the LeTendre brothers were outside where everyone was talking. I waited until it was just Mrs. LeTendre, Tom and Sandy outside. I wanted a ride to the bus station & Tom offered without hestiation when he really didn't even know me. Mrs. LeTendre made me a lunch, Sandy gave me clothes and Tom gave me money. He offered to take me all the way to Green Bay if I wanted so I could go back to my parents. I had a big old black eye, bruises everywhere, bloody nose and there were these gentle souls so willing to help. In the middle of everything my boyfriend showed up so Tom hide with me in the garage. Mrs. LeTendre and Sandy were to funny pretending they had been washing all day and hadn't seen me. I didn't want to drive with Tom because I was afraid of being alone with some strange guy. I was sort of sunk because Mrs. LeTendre nor Sandy drove and no one else was around. So off I went with this strange guy named Tom who drove to the bus station and stayed with me to make sure I was OK, got on the bus. He was kind to let me to stay in his car because I was so ashamed of how I looked. It was the best day of my life, I went home to my parents. Years later after I came back to Milw, Sandy and I went to the fair. I was so excited to be able to see Tom to thank him. Off we went and found your family booth. I wanted to thank Tom myself so I said oh Sandy wait here. I went up to talk to this blonde hair guy & thanked profusely for helping me. He seemed utterly confused but said very little. Afterwards I found Sandy talking to one of Tom's relatives. Those two were like oh you missed Tom and I said oh no I didn't I just talked to him. They both looked at each other, looked at the booth really confused. I had just thanked not Tom but someone that worked for your family. I got the chance the next day to see the real Tom to thank him. What he said I will never forget, family is everything so I knew sending him was the right thing. He was a great guy that changed my life with those simple words. I thank him so for that.
Wally Jr. LeTendre
January 12, 2007
I've been doing a LOT of agonizing soul searching since Tom was taken from us.
One thing alway's stand's out. To be quite honest Tom and I didn't do that much together.
There's a Huge amount of guilt associated with this for me. Not just because I didn't do that much with Tom but also for not doing that much or should I say enough with the family as a whole.
This is where Tom and I differed , considerably.
Tom did alot with all his nieces and nephews, he didn't do it to be nice or to act like he cared.
Tom did it because he WAS so nice, and he really DID care.
Not that I think I'm not nice, or that I don't care. Tom just did it better.
I guess you could say I was kinda like an " Anti-Tom".
As many of you know or may have read or just figured out on your own, I'm kind of a loner.
Where as Tom alway's wanted us all around,even me.
Tom was alway's giving me advice, of course it's not like I was the only one, but I felt I got
an awful lot of it.
Of course over this past month my eyes have been opened to a lot of other peoples
experiences, thoughts, and feelings.
This has caused me to view many things from many new perspectives.
And although I think I have made progress over the last decade or so to try to spend more time with my family members I now feel it's not nearly enough.
With Tom's passing having slapped me so hard up-side the head, I realize I need to double
my efforts in this regard.
I really want to be More like Tom. I REALLY DO ! He set a good example for all of us, I just wish I realized it more
much sooner. All the woulda', coulda',shouda's haunt me still.
I'm glad that we all are seeing and hearing so much from each other as of late.
But I'm truly heartbroken and angry with myself, because it took Tom's death to get me here.
So if you feel I'm talking too much or sending too many emails, or writing way to many
stupid stories. It's Tom's fault, it's Tom's wish. And damn-it, I'm gonna keep doin' it whether
ya'all like it or not!
TOM, I know you held me in high regard for my abilities to put things together.
But you my big little brother, you put together the biggest and best thing anyone could,
you put us together, closer than ever. You done good Tom, I'm proud to be your brother,
and I'm extremely proud of you. I love you ! I miss you !!!
P.S. Tom, leave things just the way they are up there,it's Heaven for cryin' out loud.
Love you all, Wally
Katy Hinsdale
January 7, 2007
It's really hard to even write anything that would justify my love and fond memories of my Uncle Tom. He was one of my six "funny LeTendre uncles" and I sure was one lucky girl to have grown up with such humor, love and fun!
My Uncle Tom was always so caring and concerned about all of our family all of the time. I could always count on Uncle Tom to talk to me at family gatherings about my job in Chicago, find out about our new home or just ask how I was doing...he always was so sincere and took the time to really talk to everyone.
I know Uncle Tom is in an even better place with my Grandma Kitty looking down on all of us. It's in this thought that I find the most comfort in such a terrible lose.
I'm so thankful that our family is such a tight knit group. Uncle Tom wanted nothing more than for everyone to be close to one another and I guarentee Uncle Tom has brought us closer than ever.
I sure will miss my Uncle Tom.
Doug LeTendre
January 7, 2007
Just One More Day
I walked that path of destruction many times.
Today my back was turned the other way. An angel came to protect me.
I believe his name was Alfred.
He must of come from the red building with a steeple it resembles a church.
There were many angels maybe Hugo or Floyd and others helping those that were hurting.
HE summoned three more angels that moment.
They didn't hesitate.
They went.
We don't know how long we have to do God's will
it may only be
just one more day.
(signed)
just some guy
These words were sent to Darlene in a blank, unsigned sympathy card
Allyson Vitek
January 7, 2007
Dear Tom,
I'm so sorry that I haven't written in here sooner but it's been very difficult accepting that you're gone. I've always loved you very much and I do know that you knew that. Now the hard part of going on without you in our family begins and it's hopelessly
difficult. Know that Darlene,Danny,Samantha and Alex will be loved, cared for and always in our thoughts and prayers. I've just read all the beautiful entries about you and it just makes me so proud to be your sister. Yes, Tom you were the quiet,good, happy brother. Thank you for that. You were always wonderful with my girls and your other nieces by showing them how much you loved them and liked being with them. Thank you for that. Having you and Maura as Becky's god-parents was one of the best decisions I ever made. You were absolutely the best. Becky couldn't have had a more loving and caring god-father. Thank you. You left us way too suddenly and we all are helping each other out but it's very hard. We all love and miss you so much. It's January 6th, 2007 and we all got together for dinner at Doyles Milwaukee Inn Restaurant in your honor and memory. They are donating money from each meal to the Family Fund at Falk. It's been one month since you've joined Mom in heaven and I still feel like it was only yesterday that you and Darlene and the family came to visit me and Donn. I'm so grateful that we had that time together and I want it back!!! I feel so selfish for feeling this way because your beautiful family has lost so much more than I have. I'm sorry. Donn and I know that -- that albino red-tail hawk that we saw Christmas Day on our way to Dad and Ginnys was YOU!! You were absolutely radiant and knowing you were right there near us -- gave me hope and strength. Thank You. Tom, please watch over all of us along with Mom and help us to be strong and teach us all to have as huge and loving heart as you did for us and so many others. Just so you know--the dinner tonight was wonderful and at the same time very sad. It's what you always wanted us to do so much more often and now we are but -- you are not and it hurts...
thank you for opening our eyes and giving us the gift of having each other and not forgetting what a precious treasure our family is and always will be. I love you Tom and I am very lucky to have had you as my brother. Love and 'til we meet again--Ally
Monica Silkey-Kennedy
January 1, 2007
So many memories where do I even begin. Tom had a great sense of humor.
I remember the great water fights when our parents were not home. The time Tom thought our kitchen window was closed. He hosed me me down. The kitchen was so wet even the ceiling was wet.
Tom and his dad took great pictures at our wedding twenty years ago on 12/28/1986.
Christmas morning my family and I released twenty balloons. One for every person that has passed away since attending our wedding.
One came back this year do you think that could have been Tom with his sense of humor?
Gail Richards
December 31, 2006
Letendre Family, wanted to wait until after the holidays to express my sympathies. I was one of those Wright ST kids that knew the families well. Tom was the quiet one of the Letendre brothers but beyond that shell was a truly great guy. Reading what folks from the old area wrote I can say it was all true. Letendre family along with those on that end of the block stood out because of their strong family values. I remember well how the lines of which kid belonged to what family was often muted as the kids played with each other at inside all the houses without the boundaries of today's world. I remember Little Wally who I thought was Brian Silkey's brother, those two with their long hair looked so much alike. It didn't matter so much which kid belonged where in those days and the parents were parents to all where the kids listened. We didn't need security checks done before playing with the kids. What I treasure most was Letendres were not just anyone person but a unit of one. Read what Mrs. Silkey wrote, that was another strong family from the area where one could play and feel entirely safe. Days spent in Letendre and Silkey basements I treasure deeply. Remember Tom was with you all for the holidays and always be in your hearts. Gail (Macaroy) Richards
Doug Le Tendre
December 28, 2006
I would like everyone to know that all of these kind condolences and sweet memories of my little brother Tom were read by my brother, Wally at the banquet following his burial. All of us were sincerely moved and we appreciate how your words made us laugh and how they made us cry.
Tom was the sensitive LeTendre. Tom was a little fair-haired playmate who cried easily when teased. Tom was a formidable adversary in a fight. He was tenacious and Tom was funny. He was sly and, as Sarah pointed out, Tom was like our mom, Shirley, otherwise known as Kitty. Since I was 8 years older than Tom, there was a period when I saw him as a pesky little, rat-fink nuisance. There were also times when I saw him as a delightful little pet and friendly companion as we both searched for things to do while we waited for life to happen. We all teased each other. I did my share of psychological damage to Tom, Dan and Maura. Hey, they survived. Dave took him down a couple times with a few knocks to the head with his class ring. Even Maura put up her dukes against Tom and the rest of us. I kind of look back now and think that, in our family, any attention, even if it was a violent brawl in front of the TV set over whose gonna watch what on what channel, could be viewed as caring. Even be seen as aggressive affection. Anybody can hug and laugh and play nice and grow up normal. We hugged, played nice, fought with, shot at, knocked down, scratched, strangled and pounded the hell out of each other and then, after mom stepped in and showed us who the hell was boss, we all sat down at the kitchen table, once again friends,to a nice dinner of crummy, canned vegetables and a cheap round steak. Worked for me.
About my family
I need to say that with a sister like Allyson we all needed to be on our toes. She had a lot of bad ideas as a kid and sadly, we thought she was smart so we followed her lead. Next thing I know I'm in a fight with a dog and a bully in front of George Webbs on 16th Street. Allys' fault. "Let's ring doorbells.", she says. "Ok." She must know what she's doing, she's older. Ask her about her crummy little May altar to the Blessed Virgin Mary in her crummy little, bedroom closet. And ask her why she sent a letter to Roy Rogers asking to be adopted because she was so unhappy with her lot in life. What a joke. She just wanted a pony. (By the way, Roy Rogers said no so that should tell you something about Ally.)
Some call her a witch. She may not be a witch really, but she sort of still acts like the boss.
David was a sassy mouth and the devil. He would brazenly talk back to mom. "Go ahead spank me!" he'd cry. "It don't even hurt! Ha!" Don't let him fool you. Sure, now he's all nice and reserved and respectable thanks to poor Denise but - there was a time. Nobody messed with Dave.
Here's a secret, Dave stole mittens from a store once. (And he didn't even get me a pair.) I had to get that out. Dave once gave a cute little Mexican girl a dirt-filled saltine sandwich. This surprised me because we all knew he actually was in love with her.
Now Dave is all dressed nice in his nice Eddie Bauer outfits. Now he sits up straight. Now he never hits and never talks back. He even make funny jokes. Thank you Denise.
John, he was bashful and an all-star bed-wetter. Who knew he would grow up to be Mr. Artsy Craftsman with dry pants and all. John would get in trouble but he always looked so damn innocent, mom could barely bring herself to spank him. Pathetic. John would sneak around the house doing sneaky things. Then he'd get caught red-handed with dad's money in his hand and try and deny that he was stealing a quarter. John is like Grandpa Alf reborn. Old and fat but very handy with a tool. Very funny.
Wally? Where is Wally? He'd be off in a corner taking a clock apart or digging a tunnel in the back yard. If you see Wally, ask him about the firearms he owned as a kid and who he used them on. To be honest, I'm surprised none of us ever spent serious time in the clink. Once after a Sunday car ride with the 8 kids, somebody's parents left one sleeping kid in the back of the station wagon parked in the garage. It was Wally. He slept there all night. I found him because I'm smart and eventually graduated from college so when I say I'm smart - it's merely a fact. Anyways, I found him and we all laughed as mom changed Wally's wet pants and sent him off to school. Happened to Wally all the time. We'd leave on a trip to the farm and 20 miles out of town someone would say, "Where's Wally?" Mom would take a head count. Hmmmm only seven. Oooops. Dad would turn the car around and we'd find Wally locked in the house looking out the mailbox slot. Home alone. Not crying. Just sort of confused.
Not so funny as a kid. More quiet. Now he's funny.
Danny was, and still is, the funniest boy in the world. He thought differently. He was enthusiastic and clever. Did you know the poor thing almost died from spinal menengitis? He did. Made him deaf I think. He had to learn how to walk again. And how to talk. He got a lot of extra attention.
Whose face is that on the front of Danny's head? Danny don't look like dad and he sure as hell don't look like mom. Makes you think. As a kid he had a big toothy grin, blonde hair and he was fearless. He'd climb anything, jump off anything, set fire to anything, throw anything at anything and he'd do it in a very, very entertaining way. If you can get a copy of the eulogy Dan read at Tom's church service you will laugh, this I guarantee. The attendees were rolling in the church aisle. It was an amazing performance. Hilarious and touching. I know Tom and mom loved it. We all did.
Maura was the baby. As in cry-baby. Sure she's cute and all that but what a screamer. We'd say, "Shut up Maura!" and she'd just scream louder and tell mom and then we (or rather me)all got in trouble. Maura. I apologize for pretending that I was gonna run you over with the car in the alley. Honestly, I would never have actually run you over. It was a joke. I can't believe how much you screamed and how fast you ran. Ran right into garbage cans as I recall. Sorry. But you gotta admit, wasn't that funny Maura?
Now she's all gown up with grown up kids who are spectacular. Who's of thunk it. Little Maura with the pixie hair. Our little baby. She once said that she and Ally were the bookends that kept the boys straight.
About myself, not much to say. I was born with a cleft pallete and so I kept to myself. I am amazed that I was able to get any reading done in those days what with all the commotion going on around me. I was basically the ideal son who was polite, courteous and friendly.
I did have a setback as child though. I got kicked out of the Cub Scouts at age 13. The pack leader took me aside and said that since it appeared I wasn't progressing past a Bear scout and since my Cub Scout pants were too short and my Cub Scout hat barely stayed on my head because the hat was too small, well, maybe, just maybe it was time to move on and leave the knot-tying to the kids. He recommended the Boy Scouts where I could be with kids my own age. Then he showed me the door. I recovered and went on to graduate from college after an exhausting 10 year curriculum in the study of art and how not to make a living at it. Luckily, I met Jan, a woman who recognized my hidden charms, overlooked my ever-growing forhead and married me. So basically, I am on Easy Street living the good, honest life with a glorious family of brothers and sisters who, along with my dad and Ginny, pretend to be amused by my aging, incoherent ramblings.
My poor parents. What they went through. Here now, I read these things everyone wrote and it looks like we were the nicest people in town. Maybe we were, I don't know, but if we were, I give all the credit to Joe and Kitty who with no planning, no experience and no money, raised a bunch of kids who ain't too bad. They sure did something right. I know we all looked preety sharp back in those days when all of our clothes came from the premier fashion house in town, JC Penneys.
My parents took us everywhere. They even took us to see the movie "Peyton Place" which was a condemned movie according to the church and therefor a mortal sin on each of us. They took us to Beulah Beach but never stopped at A&W Root Beer, the cheapskates. They tok us to Aunt Sarahs farm up north. They took us to Cape Cod and the Rockie Mountains. My dad always took our picture. In fact, he's the only guy I know that still wants my picture. Nobody else points a camera at me. My mom, she was his muscle. She held the trials and after we were quickly found guilty, she dealt out the punishment. She spanked good. Real good. We were never afraid of dad's spankings. He was formal. My mom's spankings were more informal and often she lost track of who the hell she was supposed to spank so even the innocent ones of us got caught in her windmill.
Tom touched a lot of lives. More than we all realized. I know we mourn the hole Tom left in our hearts but the memory of him will quickly soften the pain. Tom had a great heart and he adored all of us. He campaigned for family get- togethers for any reason. Why don't we just simply be together more he'd ask. Sometimes I think Tom thought we didn't care enough because he cared so much more. He was the sensitive one. The white boy with the white hair dressed in white underpants and a white t-shirt. Kind of like an angel. He helped everyone. He wanted to help everyone. He never said no to anyone. He was a good kid. Please pass the word of this good kid to to friends and strangers alike. I am proud to be his brother and in spite of this tragedy, I still look at myself as a lucky boy with a loving wife and an amazing family. Though Tom is no longer with us, he has changed all of us and so remains alive within us. After all, he was the sensitive one. I realize that he grew into a barrel-chested, good-looking guy but as a kid, he was like a little tiny, teeny-weeny, shining star of pure whiteness, and love. Tom's increase in size only magified what he always had within him. He was a brilliant star that shown on all who were fortunate to have been his friend. And as we know, that blinding light never really goes away now does it? He is here beside me right now.
Corvin Frank
December 23, 2006
Courage
Danielle Drogier
December 23, 2006
Dear LeTendre Family,
I went to school at OLQP with all of the kids my name is danielle drogier i graduated with dan. I just wanted to wish your family the best during the hard times from now until forever. I lost my dad in august he was 51 so I know what your going through to an extent! your husband and family are in my prayers, a few months ago I had a dream I talked to my father from heaven and he told me it was wonderful there. I know that the man Tom was he is DEFINATELY there sitting at the right hand of God with all the angels watching over you. The pain will go away and memories will remain the life of Tom M. LeTendre will not be forgotten as long as you keep it alive. once again my deepest sympathies for your family during your time of need. If every you want to e-mail please do i would love to hear from you.. stay well
love always Danielle Drogier
VICKI WYATT
December 19, 2006
I DID NOT KNOW ANYONE THAT LOST A LOVED ONE IN THE FALK CORP EXPLOSION BUT I WANTED TO SAY GOD BLESS YOU AND MAY YOU FIND THE STRENGH TO MAKE SENSE OF THIS HORRIBLE TRAGEDY.
Beverly (Stillerman) Gruber
December 16, 2006
To the LeTendre Family,
I was visiting my folks, Nina and Si Stillerman in Florida, when we heard about the tragic explosion at Falk. We are so very sorry for your loss. I remember "Tommy" from when we used to ride our tricycles around the block. May you find some consolation in your memories. With our deepest condolences,
Renee St. Pierre
December 15, 2006
LeTendre Family, my heart sincerely goes out to all of you. In the summer of 1970 (back in the high school days) I had the very fortunate opportunity to be a part of working with and sharing in the delight of the family’s State Fair booth. It sure was a fun first job. But, I think what I admired most was the strength, bond and camaraderie of the family. Over the years it was always nice to see the family still together doing what they loved. Seven years ago when I lost my youngest brother also to tragedy, I felt like my heart was so broken it would never mend, but the passage of time has helped me to heal and the memories of him and his sense of humor will never fade. It sure sounds like Tom was truly a special guy and a large part of so many great memories for a lot of people. He was truly a blessing to all who knew him. I wish all of the LeTendre family God’s speed during this difficult time.
Sue (Kiki) Lamont (use to be Sherman)
December 15, 2006
To David, we can only trust there was a purpose to the loss of Tom so young in life. When I lost my sister by chance I ran into Tom. He said then he wasn't strong enough to face the loss I was going through. He loved his family all very much. Growing up the place to be was on 46 Street because families there had such strong ties and the kids had all the best stuff. The guys were cutie pies and the girls were all clicks. I lived on 45 Street and could only watch from my window. I was to old to play with the girls and to young to date the boys. Tom I met when he use hang out at a coffee shop.
Christine Pawlak
December 14, 2006
I wanted to send your family my deepest condolences. I worked with Dan for many years and my daughter went to school with Dan's boys. I wanted you to know that there are a lot of people praying for you at this difficult time. Tom has not left, he is with you in your hearts and souls. He will continue to watch over his family, only from above now. He will be your guardian angel -- always there to protect you. He will also be there to listen whenever you need to talk to him. We will continue to pray for your family at home, in our hearts, and at Mother of Good Counsel. May God bless your family...
Rev. Emily Hodges
December 14, 2006
We never know where life will take us on our journey. Tom certainly made the burdens of many on the journey of life easier with his kindness. I was 10 and the ugly duckling from a poor family with the other girls so pretty. I didn't have skates or a bike to play. Tom went into his house and got me a pair of skates with a church key so they would fit. When I went to return the skates he said keep them. To me he was a prince and those skates a treasure that helped me make friends with all the girls in that area. Tom also inspired me to follow my heart, today I am a minister working with the homeless.
Gracie Holloway
December 14, 2006
Joe & Shirley, my most sincere sympathies to your family. I taught at Steuben and lived on 44th. Kids in the area knew your snow cone stand well. As parents you were always watchful to make sure the LeTendre stand was clean and kids all treated with respect. God Bless you at this time.
Alan & Christine Bengtson
December 14, 2006
Our deepest condolences to the Le Tendre family at this difficult time.
Amy Lemmons (Johnson)
December 13, 2006
LeTendre Family, I send my most sincere sympathy and apology that I was to sick to attend Tom's services. I was another kid from the neighbor that remembers well the kindness of the LeTendre family. My father was a teacher at Washington and I went to school the boys next door to you.
Cheryl Weaser
December 12, 2006
LeTendre Family. As I read the entries in the guest book I too was reminded of goods times shared with the kids on 46 St. Must of been maybe 11 yrs old when we moved on 48 St. I spotted the LeTendres selling cotton candy in their yard and wanted one but I was afraid because to ask because it was all boys running the stand. Then I spotted some girls talking to them so I thought they were all family. But this one gal whispered hay those are the LeTendres boys but they don't bite and if they do you can tell their Dad. I so incredibly shy then. Each of you were so kind to me. The girls in that area and I shared our bikes, our dreams, our dolls and our cotton candy from the LeTendre backyard stand.
Margaret and Frank Silkey
December 12, 2006
To our old friends from 46th Street:Our families shared many memories during the 20 plus years we lived in Sherman Park. I miss those days. When the holidays were over there would be a knock at the door. May I borrow your kettle? It was chili making time for Joe and his extended family. Between my kids and the LeTendre kids we had lots of experiences. Through it all Joe and Shirley's faith was the mainstaay of that family. Last night I witnessed that faith in the faces of Tom's brothers and other family members. As Wally said "He and our mom are going to rummage sales together." I lost one of my sons at the age of 40 to heart disease and it has been 10 years. Lossing a child is unbearable, but that is when our faith kicks in and we can go one with memories. May God bless anyone who has been touched by this terrible Falk tradegy.
Barbara Nelson
December 12, 2006
My daughter Angel Nelson got to know the LeTendre family through her friendship with Jake LeTendre whom she attended Pius High School with. She came to know and deeply respect the entire LeTendre family by attending many family functions with Jake. It was obvious that the LeTendres were a close and deeply caring family. The void Tom has left I'm sure is huge. Your loss is shared by many and our entire family will remember you in our thoughts during this time. Most Sincerely, Barbara Nelson & Family
April Matterson (Shakey)
December 12, 2006
LeTendre Family, Tom touched so many lives in a caring and positive way. I use to work at Mayfair Gimbels and Tom was one of my nicest customers. My sympathies to your family.
Kim Reschak
December 11, 2006
Wally, Dorene, Amy, Danny, Mary Jo, Doug, John, David and Maura. I went to school with the Mary Johnson and knew you all when we were all so young. Please accept our most sincere sympathies. When I heard the name LeTendre take comfort that it reminded of me so many happy memories. Remember Maura, Wally, Dorene, Amy, Sara and Tom who were all living with Joe & Shirley. Kim Reschak
Wendy Newcomb
December 11, 2006
LeTendre Family, I want to share my favorite memory of Tom. A big bunch of us girls were playing in the yard next door when Tom started tossing water balloons. All of us were so upset except for the little girls that lived next your family. The older sister was so calm even after getting drenched by Tom. She said Tom I am going to turn this hose on and tell your Mother you did it. Tom came racing off the porch pretending he was afraid and then turned the hose on us all. That went on until Mr. Silkey came and told us all to stop playing in the water. Tom had to throw one last water ballon that landed on Mr. Silkey. Tom was so red faced and all of us girls were so pleased. I use to live on 49 and was friends with the girls from Hi-Mount on your street. Years later I ran into Tom at State Fair and reminded him about the water balloons. He was so funny, he said he was totally afraid now of water. I hope this story uplifts you all. Wendy & James Newcomb (I use to be Wendy Mathis)
Mary Beth Kessler
December 11, 2006
LeTendre Family; Joe LeTendre, Allyson, David, John, Doug, Little Wally, Maura, Danny and their familes: We hope you cherish the memories and celebrate the life of Tom. He had a joyful life and did many good deeds. My family lived across the way on 47. Remember so well when my beloved old cat passed away & it was Tom that was so very kind to me to understand how upset I was. I was barely 8 years old then but he took the time to stop to care. He also introduced me to the girls on the block and I made many friends after that. I admired the big families that lived on your end of the block because never once was anyone mean. That meant so much to me growing up because I had no brothers or sisters and was new to Milwaukee then. Remember Tom and that blonde boy that lived next door, they were both so cute and I had the biggest crush on them when I was 10. That was one of the best summers I had. I remember Frannie McGarth saying you can't marry a LeTendre brother you are only 10.
Mary Beth (Kessler) Hines
John Rausch
December 11, 2006
I worked with Tom at Grede Foundries for awhile. He had great conversations and it turned out I had known him years before through TR Winski. To his kids I would like to say your Dad was a great man simply because he took the time and effort to care. Josh Rausch
Grace Miller
December 11, 2006
Popa Joe and Grandma Kitty and the LeTendre brothers. We remember your family with a special place in our hearts for your generousity and family values. Probably may not remember us we were kin to the Miller family that lived down a block near the Taylor family. Our sons use to bike over for the alley guitar sessions at Moy's house. We too lost both of our only sons in a drunk driving accident in 1990. We found comfort that they did not suffer. Grace & Michael Miller
~Sandi Zetting-Liederbach
December 11, 2006
To Darlene, kids and LeTendre family:
My sincerest sympathy at this time. Celebrate Tom's life! I pray all of wonderful memories you have will lift you now and begin to heal the painful void in Tom's loss.
Darlene, how funny life is - you and I were bridesmaids at Dora's wedding, knew you from UWM - and knew Wally (Popeil!) from old CB days - his mother and family welcomed us to their big brick home on the corner anytime we stopped over.
Dale Moschea
December 11, 2006
To Doug and all of the LeTendre Family,
Pat and I extend our deepest sympathy to all of you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Janice (Jan) Ferguson
December 11, 2006
I met Tom when I started dating Mark Sauers in the 70's. Tom and Danny and Dale T. and Bill C. and Mark and I all hung out for a while. After we married it seemed we only saw Tom at State Fair. We looked forward to seeing many of the LeTendre family there.
The last time I saw Tom was right after my divorce. He came to buy something from the hardware store I was working at. It was always such a pleasure to see him.
For Allyson, Doug, David, John, Wally, Danny and Maura. I know it's never easy to lose a brother. It's like you have a space left open where Tom goes. We lost Dan and Bob Sauers way too early and it is difficult to get over it.
For Darlene, Daniel, Samantha and Alex, my deepest sympathies are with you. Tom was such a good man. I don't think I ever saw him mad. He was always the first person to lend a hand. I feel lucky to have known him.
May you find peace in your hearts. God bless you.
Brad Seegert
December 11, 2006
I would like to offer my codolences and those of the Greenfield H.S. Girl's Tennis team to the entire LeTendre family on their lost of Mr. LeTendre.
Stephanie Goin
December 11, 2006
My sincerest sympathies to the family. I use to live on 48 St and was cousin of the Hawley family and good friends with all girls on 46 St. Remember the LeTendres brothers very well because girls couldn't the names right. We'd yell hay Danny and the brother would say no I am Doug, Tom or John. If memory serves it was always Doug that was the comic. Then when you added on spouses and granchildren it was really confusing. We use to say we could probably move into your house with the crowd and be adopted. I didn't have brothers so being around all those big families on 46 St was really special. My prayers are with you all, Stephanie (Goin) Yonkers Mobile, AL
Tom, Judy, Allyson, Ellen and Erica Weiss
December 11, 2006
To the Letendre family,
You may not remember us but we are members of OLQP. Our daughters attended school there and we still have one daughter at Greenfield High School. Know that your our church community has remembered you in all the masses this weekend. When we felt the explosion and then heard on the news what had happened, it brought back painful memories for our family. Three years ago we lost my husband's brother in an industrial explosion at his business. A sudden death is always tragedic and difficult. We pray that your memories of Tom will sustain you through the coming months and your faith that he is resting peacefully in God's arms will comfort you.
Julie Hartman
December 11, 2006
Wally, Maura, Danny, Sara and Joe: I am so sorry for you loss. Tom was a very special guy and one of those very rare souls that truly cared about others. I was friends with the McGarth and Silkey girls. Living on 46th St with those alley parties was a good time in my life. Remember Silkey's big old Poodle dog, Mr. Herman playing the banjo and the Johnson family? You felt safe in those days and neighbors were all family. I also remember your VW bus. We use to playing quess how many LeTendres could fit into the bus. Mrs. LeTendre was always so kind to all of us. We'd fall, skin our knees and she tell us to get back up. That front yard between your house and Silkeys was a special place where you could just play. My prayers are with you all at this time. Julie (Fromm) Hartman Miami FL
Debbie Green
December 11, 2006
Joe, David, John, Maura, Danny, Doug, Allyson & Wally - My heart is broken for all of you and Tom's children and wife. I have such fond memories of your family especially Tom and Danny. Always teasing us girls, I was a friend of the Silkey girls next door. I use to think I wish I could have such a great family! Love, Debbie (Green) Lordes, Nashville TN
Robert Le Tendre
December 11, 2006
Please accept my deepest sympathies.
Roberta Kuske
December 11, 2006
LeTendre Family:
I worked with Tom for many years at Falk. On third shift, we had many good conversations about our families. I know how much his children meant to him. Because I cannot be there to express my sympanthy, please know that I care and am sorry for your loss. Falk has also lost a fine, dedicated employee.
Kristine Pettit
December 11, 2006
Doug and Jan:
We are so sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with both of you and the entire LeTendre family. May God give you strength during this difficult time.
Kris and Doug Pettit
Matt & Mary Quinn
December 11, 2006
Doug & Jan,
Our deepest sympathies are with you both as well as the entire LeTendre family. We didn't know your brother Tom, but after reading some of the entries, he sounds like he was a great person to have known. May time and the happy memories of your brother give you comfort through this very difficult time. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless!
Kristie Rask
December 11, 2006
I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time.
Kristie - Michelle's friend from across the street from her parents
Debbie Anderson
December 11, 2006
Darlene, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children at this very difficult time. Please cherish all the memories. (I used to work with you years ago at Herslof)
Craig Tallar
December 11, 2006
I worked with Tom from time-to-time, and always found him to be helpful and dedicated to his tasks at Falk. He will be missed.
Karen (Gesell) Larson
December 11, 2006
Wally and John,
I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. May your hearts be strong and your faith carry you through this hard time in knowing that he is now with heavenly father. God Bless, Karen (Gesell) Larson
PS I worked with you 30 years ago.
Linda McNutt
December 11, 2006
My heart goes out to your family. I work with Donna an Northwestern Mutual. I know this is a very difficult time for your family and a very difficult situation. I will keep your family in my prayers and I wish you all the very best!!
Kristy David
December 10, 2006
My mom was Walter's cousin (Doris "Susie) and I knew most of the kids but could never keep them straight. As the last remaining person on this branch of the family, my deepest sympathies to the entire LeTendre family. Two loses this close together is just too much. God Bless!
Nadine Clausing
December 10, 2006
My uncle Tom...
I remember him as the uncle that I had alot of fun with growing up, and someone who could always put a smile on my face. If there is one thing I have learned from him, is the importance of family. We should all make an effort to spend more time together, or simply tell eachother we love you, because someday, that time won't be there.
So to all my family...uncles, aunts, many cousins, and especially my grandfather...who I should see more of...I love you! Uncle Tom is going to have a special place in my heart.
Nadine Clausing
Nancy (LeTendre) Helstad
December 10, 2006
We are so sorry for your loss this time of year. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Charles "Chuck" Megal
December 10, 2006
I worked with Tom at Falk on 3rd shift, Tom was our crane man. I believe more than ever that God is greedy and wants the best with him, and that's why Tom is gone. I never knew a person with a bigger heart or anyone who was quicker with a kind word. God bless.
Keith & Nicki (Vento) Hallen
December 10, 2006
Our thoughts and prayers are with you...always.
Sandy & Jeff Nabarek (Silkey)
December 10, 2006
Tom and the LeTendre family were our neighbors on 46th St. I have many and fond memories of Tom and the LeTendres. The chili cooking, state fair booth, the packing of the camper to go to Mexico and those giant backyard parties as only the 46th St families knew how to throw. I remember well so many of those milestones we shared just being next door. Today the world doesn't work like it did then, when you needed an egg you could run next door to ask. Tom was a great soul as were are the LeTendre brothers, Maura and Allyson. His loss touched many lives. I know these days are hard. When we lost Al it was a difficult and painful time. The first sympathies came from the families on 46th St. News of Tom's loss reached all the way here to Indianapolis through the Chicago News. May you find strength in the memories and support of the many good friends you have. Our sincerest sympathies to the entire LeTendre family.
Marlene Anderson
December 10, 2006
I didn't know you but my heart goes out to your family and friends. May God Bless you and keep you in his loving care and may the memories you've all shared bring comfort and peace in the coming days and years.
Becky Vaughn (Vitek)
December 9, 2006
Tom Letendre was not only my godfather and uncle, but a wonderful friend, husband, father, and brother. Ucle Tom was the coolest and most fun, taking me, my sisters, and counsins to the mall, the movies, etc. He was always there to help and make sure things were o.k. He had a HUGE heart and loved his family deeply. We love him so much and miss him so much already. We know he is in a better place with grandma Kitty and hitting all the best estate sales heaven has to offer! God bless you Tom, my uncle, godfather, and angel. All my love, Becky
Brad Pockat
December 9, 2006
We will miss Tom's sense of humor, dedication, attention to detail, and wonderful collections of assorted goodies and unusual items(especially the weird music).
Miss ya buddy
Lori Urban
December 9, 2006
I am the cousin of Tom and I have been reminising the hot summer days at the State Fair and having many good times at the LeTendre home playing games with my cousins at a very young age. I have always admired the strong family bond the LeTendre family has and that strength with carry them through this difficult time. Tom will be deeply missed and my thoughts and prayers are with the famliy.
Lori Urban
December 9, 2006
I am the cousin of Tom and I have been reminising the hot summer days at the State Fair and having many good times at the LeTendre home playing with my cousins at a very young age. I have always admired the strong family bond the LeTendre family has and that strength with carry them through this difficult time. Tom will be deeply missed and my thoughts and prayers are with your famliy.
Chris Salditt
December 9, 2006
Dear Darlene,
As one of the older LeTendre cousins, I didn't know Tom as well as I did Ally, Doug and Dave. When my Mom, Auntie Angie, passed away last month, I had an opportunity to talk with Tom, Alex and you after her funeral. So did my husband and two grown daughters, and we all remarked what a nice family you were and how much we enjoyed that conversation. Darlene, my heart goes out to you and your children. I am sorry I can't be there to pay my respects, but I do know that you will be surrounded by your loving friends and family during this sad time. I am so sorry for your loss.
Todd and Kay Abel
December 9, 2006
We are very very sorry to hear of Tom's passing. Our deepest sympathy to everyone in the family at this difficult time. We have you in our thoughts and prayers.
Donna Roeder
December 9, 2006
My heartfelt sympathies go out to the entire family and friends of Thomas. May time heal your heavy hearts.
Bob & Sandy Kitson
December 9, 2006
Our deepest sympathy is with all of you. The prayers of many will lift you. God bless.
Pat Chepeck
December 9, 2006
My heart goes out to you at this time and in the days ahead.
I worked with Tom many years ago, I am fortunate to have known him.
Lynn Wendt
December 9, 2006
First of all my sympathies go out to your entire family. What a sad situation to have to deal with. Such an unexpected sadness and a tradegy. There is something I'd like to say to Daniel and Mary Jo. When I saw the name on Tv I thought of you immediately and prayed that it was not one of your family members. I was the mom of the house on Lisbon Ave and although it's been 13 years I still think of you and our home. There were lots of memories we left there and we've moved twice since and I really loved your kitchen best. Maybe it was just that it was always full of family and good times. I recently lost Fred. He was 58 and it was unexpectedly so I am sharing in your pain of loosing your loved one. So young and he just had too much to live for and this is very sad. I pray for you and all of your family to have strength they'll need to get through this. Take care, Darlynn (lynn) Wendt
Nick Vento
December 9, 2006
My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. Hopefully your memories will bring you comfort. May God's blessing with you.
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