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Mary O'Malley Obituary



Mary Ellis O'Malley

Resident of Willow Glen 49 Years

April 5th, 1926 March 23, 2011

Mary O'Malley passed away at home surrounded by her family on March 23rd. She touched many lives with her wisdom, kindnesses, and gracious ways.

Mary was born in Detroit, Michigan to Nellie and Joseph Refalo; her mother was from England, her father from Malta. In 1958, she married Cahal Conor O'Malley M.D. at the Church of Saint Paul the Apostle, in Westwood Village, California. Conor, from Galway, Ireland, was an ophthalmology resident at UCLA.

Mary is survived by her husband, Dr. Conor O'Malley of Willow Glen, son Peter, of Los Gatos, her three daughters, Grace O'Malley of San Francisco and Timber Cove, Siobhan O'Malley of Willow Glen, and Bronwyn O'Malley of Los Altos, and her grand children Max, Owen, Grace, Jasper and Ronan. She is also survived by her brother, Frank Refalo (and family) of Orange County, and the spouses of her children, Tim Winterer, Leslie O'Malley, and Olaf van der Geest. She is predeceased by her loving sister, Helene Di Trapani, brother Andy Refalo, and her parents.

Mary's hobbies included Chinese calligraphy, art and history, painting in the classical Chinese mode, watercolor painting, historical novels, serving gourmet French meals, and collecting fine Occidental art. But, first and foremost, Mary was a wonderful and dedicated mother, grandmother and wife she devoted her life to her family.

From 1978 to 2009, Mary was an Active Member, and from 2010-2011, a Sustaining Member, of the San Jose Auxiliary of the Lucille Packard Foundation for Children's Health (LPFCH). She volunteered at their Thrift Box on Lincoln Avenue. Mary had an abiding passion for helping the homeless boys and girls of Silicon Valley. It was her idea to raise funds and donate clothing to support the work done by Dr. Ammerman, of Stanford University, in a project called the Teen Van. Through Mary's efforts, Dr. Ammerman was better able to encourage homeless teens to seek medical treatments by pairing it with the opportunity to receive much needed clothing.

Those who loved her are invited to a Visitation from 5-7 pm, and a Rosary service from 7-7:30 pm, at Lima Family Erickson Memorial Chapel (710 Willow Street, San Jose, CA 95125) on Friday April 1st. On April 2nd, there will be a Mass at 11:00 am at St. Mary of the Immaculate Conception Church (219 Bean Ave, Los Gatos, CA 95030), followed by a Burial service at Los Gatos Memorial Park (2255 Los Gatos-Almaden Road, San Jose, CA 95124.

Donations in her memory may be sent to: LPFCH, attention: Teen Health Van, 400 Hamilton Avenue, Suite 340, Palo Alto, CA 94301.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by San Jose Mercury News/San Mateo County Times on Mar. 29, 2011.

Memories and Condolences
for Mary O'Malley

Not sure what to say?





Ninette and Leo van der Geest

April 8, 2011

We still cannot believe that Mary has passed away. She was the mother-in-law of my elder son. The first time Ninette and I met her was on the day I turned 65. Since then we have met her on several occasions. The last time I saw her was on Thanksgiving day 2010. Ninette and I spoke her also on Thanksgiving in 2009. It was a joy to speak with her. She was warm-hearted and always interested in other persons. We will miss her, when we visit Olaf and Bronwyn in June and also on our visits to the US in the future. We wish the family all the strength they will need to wear this loss.

Ninette and Leo van der Geest

Jeannette Garceau

April 5, 2011

In honor of a life

who touched many:
I was but one, who
years ago felt
the warmth
of an open home,
welcomed
with kindness
and generosity.

You will always
be Mrs. O’Malley
to me: a strong
woman, comforting
presence, proper
in my child eyes,
gentle yet firm,
friendly, caring.

You were there
for me, offering
refuge when my
home fell apart.
Distant details
of a hard time
are now blurry.

But the gesture,
indelible, your
memory in
my heart, and
in all those
you touched
in a life
well-lived.

April 5, 2011

Today is Mary's birthday and I think a good day to share my memories of her with the O'Connor (extended) family.

Mary always made me feel special. When I visited Olaf and Bronwyn she was always very friendly and welcoming to me and made me feel one of the family.
I will cherish our days together:
our intimate mom to mom talks,
the days we spent together in the city, the exhibitions we visited and the lovely meals she treated me to, both in her house and in nice restaurants.
I enjoyed her company very much, she was so full of life, so interested, so thoughtful.
How beautiful it would have been if I could return a few of all she gave me.
I would have loved to show her around Amsterdam and all kind of interesting places in Holland. I am sure she would have enjoyed that so much.
But we all have to bow our heads for the final decision in life that is made for us.
I will miss her very much next time I´ll be around, but I am sure not in the least as much as you, O´Connor family, will miss her.
My thoughts and prayers have been and will be with you all.

Ria van Zwam

Patty Charles

April 2, 2011

The pictures are amazing. What a great memorial. I remember meeting your mom for the first time in Syracuse when she and your dad took us to lunch. She was lovely and interesting, peaceful and happy. My favorite memory is when she so kindly stored my belongings in your house while I travelled abroad. She was so welcoming as I brought in box after box. We had a good chat about my plans and then she very gracefully gave me some advise about men (very good advise mind you.) One man in particular was featured....my now husband. She was wise and most of all she cared. You are all in my prayers.

Twink Stern

April 1, 2011

Mary was a vibrant, dynamic woman who came into our lives with joy and beauty. Our family will never forget her graciousness, her charm, her intelligence and her thoughtfulness.

Our deepest sympathy to the O'Malley extended family and our love,

Twink, Duc and Toto (San Francisco)

Simon P Kelly

April 1, 2011

My memory of Mary is of her charm and grace. My thoughts are with all the family at this time.

Simon P Kelly, Manchester, UK and Galway, Ireland

Grace M. O'Malley

March 31, 2011

I love you May May with all my heart. I know you'll always be with me wherever I go.

Theresa Vallez-Kelly

March 31, 2011

What a beautiful tribute to your mom. She was a class act and always so kind. Thank you for sharing these photos.

Teresa Nicholson

March 30, 2011

Your mother's smile lit up a room. She would always convince us to eat before we left even though we had no intention of doing so, "Have a yogurt." Her beauty and grace were unsurpassed. Whenever I saw her she was dressed so beautifully and I just remember feeling cared for in her home. Her gift was hospitality. I am so sorry for your loss.

Becky Grabau-Dunkel

March 30, 2011

I was there when Mrs. O'Malley taught all of us girls to make chocolate mousse. I watched as she made the magic happen and the mousse became so light and fluffy. It was delicious! I had never eaten it before and I will never forget the first time I tasted it. I have yet to duplicate it. She was a wonderful lady! When I was older and pregnant with my daughter, she put on a baby shower for me. So sweet! I believe I was the first to have a baby. We were so young and I never felt like she was judging me! I have some great childhood memories of your home Siobhan, and your mom made it a special place.

Nancy Woods Muller

March 30, 2011

So many of my favourite childhood memories took place at the O'Malley home. Mrs O'Malley was often in the background helping as we played dress up, attempted to bake or painted. She also played a very active role in my interest in cooking. Many of the items in my kitchen today also are in her kitchen- a Dualit toaster, Alpico porcelain gratin dishes and Italian biscotti tins. She taught us how to enjoy traditional English tea. her home was always warm, proper and inviting. I always felt like family around her.

Hilda Furminger

March 30, 2011

For Mary's children, Grace, Peter, Sioban and Bronwyn:

I kneel at my mother's grave,
I feel her tenderness at my knee,
And her caress in the whispering wind.
Why can a grave so lonely,
Be, too, a place of happiness?
I no longer cry, knowing there's life.
Her heart is in the dark above.
My love and happiness are here.

Hilda Furminger

March 30, 2011

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man.

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author)
©Copyright 1998

Siobhan OMalley

March 30, 2011

I have such wonderful memories of my mother. Always the lady. She gave us the gifts of strong values, kindness and compassion toward others, the importance of family and close friends, the love of reading, teaching me and my friends to make chocolate mousse, and eating good chocolate. She had a quirky sense of humor and loved a good time. She led by example and was a wonderful grandmother and friend. Love ya Mom!

Showing 1 - 14 of 14 results

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Funeral services provided by:

Lima Family Erickson Memorial Chapel - San Jose

710 Willow Street, San Jose, CA 95125

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